Chapter 2 Chapter 1 (2)

Fermina wore a loose silk shirt that reached the hips, a long necklace of real pearls wrapped around six times, and a pair of high-heeled satin shoes that were only worn on very solemn occasions. , her age no longer allows her to dress up often.Fashionable finery was out of season for a respectable old lady, but it fitted her well.She has a slender and straight figure, a pair of elastic hands without a single age spot, and her bristly hair, shining like blue steel, is neatly cut on both sides of her cheeks.Compared with her wedding picture, the only thing left at this time is her bright and clear almond eyes and national pride, but what she has lost due to age is compensated in her character, and hard work makes her beautiful. What she won is even more.Past what age has made her lose.The dress made her feel very comfortable.She neither secretly corseted her breasts nor her waist, nor did she artificially use cloth to raise her buttocks.Every part of her body is free, and her breathing is comfortable.In short, the outline of her body shows her true face.This was the seventy-two-year-old Fermina Daza.

Dr. Urbino saw her sitting in front of the dresser with the electric fan turning slowly above her head.She was wearing a bell-shaped hat decorated with violet-shaped velvet flowers.The bedroom is spacious and bright. The English-style bed is hung with a rose-colored knitted mosquito net. The two windows are open to the trees in the yard, and the piercing chirping of cicadas comes in from there, indicating that it will rain soon.After returning from her honeymoon, Fermina used to choose clothes for her husband according to the climate and the occasion, and they would neatly fold them on the chair the night before so that he could put them on when he came out of the bathroom.She didn't remember when she started to help him dress first, and then she simply helped him dress.She remembered doing it at first out of love for him, but since five years ago she had had to do it because he could no longer dress himself.They had just celebrated their golden wedding.They are dependent on each other, no one can live without the other, and no one can ignore the other, otherwise they will not be able to live for a moment.As they grow older, they become less and less understanding of this feeling.Neither he nor she can tell whether this interdependence is based on love or comfort.But they never considered this question, because neither of them wanted to find the answer.

She has gradually discovered the procrastination of her husband's footsteps and the vagaries of mood.Memory decline, and recently even often cry in sleep.But instead of seeing these as unmistakable signs of rapid aging, she saw them as signs of rejuvenation.Therefore, she did not treat him as an old man struggling to take care of himself, but as a child.This kind of self-deception, for the two of them, can also be said to be a kind of providence, which prevents them from pity each other. Their lives would have been very different if, in time, they had learned that it is easier to circumvent the miseries of marriage than the petty daily miseries.But if there was anything they both learned from living together, it was that wisdom came to them only after suffering.For many years Fermina had endured her husband's joyful waking at dawn with a cruel heart.When he woke up with childlike innocence—he felt like he grew a little more with each passing day—she still clung to the last vestiges of drowsiness, unwilling to face the ominousness of each new morning. The inevitable fate foretold by the omen.He awoke just as soon as the cock crowed, and the first sign of his being alive was an unprovoked cough, as if on purpose to wake her up.She heard him groping for the slippers by the bed, muttering for the sole purpose of disturbing her.Then clucking in the dark to the bathroom.An hour later, she woke up from another sleep and heard him come back from the study, groping for clothes in the dark.Once when he was playing cards in the living room, people asked him what he thought of himself, and he said, "I'm a nocturnal wanderer." She listened and pretended it was inevitable.It was like she pretended to be asleep when she was clearly awake.His reasons were unquestionable: he had never needed her more, alive and sane, than he had in these moments of panic.

Her sleeping position is more elegant than anyone else's. She puts her curved body in a dancing pose and puts one hand on her forehead. But when she tried to sleep and couldn't, she was more irritable than anyone else.Dr. Urbino knew that she was waiting for him to make even the smallest sound, and would even thank him for it, because then she could blame him for being woken up at five o'clock in the morning.And so it was, and a few times when he couldn't find his slippers and had to grope in the dark, she said suddenly in a sleepy voice, "You left it in the bathroom last night," and then again in a sober voice. He scolded: "The worst thing about this family is that no one is allowed to sleep."

So, she turned on the light and tossed and turned angrily on the bed, proud of the victory of the first battle of the day. It was, in fact, a mysterious and nasty game of both, but it pleased her, for it was one of those adventures and lighthearted things between husband and wife.However, it is precisely because of this light-hearted game that after they started living together for thirty years, they almost parted ways over the question of whether there was soap in the bathroom one day. The thing is caused by a trivial, everyday thing that is not worth mentioning.At the time, Urbino was able to bathe independently.

He went back to the bedroom and began to get dressed in the dark.As usual, she was still lying there sweetly like a baby, her eyes closed, breathing slightly, and she rested the arm of the dancer majestically on top of her head.However, as usual, she seemed to be half asleep, and he knew that.After the starched linen rustled in the dark for a while, Dr. Urbino said to himself: "I haven't found any soap in the shower for almost a week," he said. She finally woke up, remembered the incident, and turned over angrily, because she must have forgotten to put soap in the bathroom.Three days ago, she found out that there was no soap, but she was standing under the shower head, and she planned to get it later.But the next day, she forgot about it.I forgot again on the third day. In fact, it wasn’t that there was no soap for a week as he said. He said that to exaggerate her fault, but it was true that there was no soap for three days, which cannot be denied.Being caught by others, she felt very uncomfortable, and finally became angry from embarrassment.As usual, she played the offensive, saying, "I bathe every day these days," she exclaimed angrily, "and there's soap every time."

Although he was familiar with her method of arguing, this time he couldn't help it.He just found an excuse for work and moved to the inpatient unit of the Charity Hospital, only going home to change clothes before going out for his rounds at dusk.As soon as he came home she hid herself in the kitchen, pretending to be doing this or that, until she heard him go away in his carriage.In the following three months, they also tried to resolve the dispute several times, but the fire became more and more prosperous.He's not ready to go home until she admits there's no soap in the bathroom.As for her, she didn't want him back until he didn't admit that he deliberately lied to torture her.

Naturally, this conflict reminded them of other conflicts, of the innumerable little disputes that had occurred in so many gray dawns.Some exasperations beget other exasperations, and old scars are reopened to become new scars.They shuddered at the painful sight that years of quarreling had only fostered conjugal animosity.He even suggested that if necessary, they could go to the archbishop together for a public confession, so that God could judge whether there was soap in the soap box in the bathroom.She was already very angry, and this time she added fuel to the fire, and shouted horribly: "Let Monsieur Archbishop eat shit!"

This sentence shook the whole city, and the consequences were indelible. Finally, people even made up a popular ditty to joke: "Let the archbishop eat shit!" She reacted. She threatened her husband that she would move alone in her father's former house, which she still owned despite being leased to a government agency. This was no bluff, she really Her husband noticed this movement in time. He didn't have the courage to challenge her stubbornness, so he had to give in. His concession did not mean that he admitted that there was soap in the bathroom-if so, it was An insult to the truth—but that the two must continue to live in the house, but in separate rooms and without speaking to each other. They would sit and eat together, and work their way around the impasse so that the children would never Words were passed from one side of the table to the other, and the children didn't realize they were ignoring each other.

Since there was no bathroom in the study, Dr. Urbino had to change his daily routine, which solved their conflicts with the morning noise. He arranged the time for entering the bathroom after preparing lessons, and he did everything possible to avoid it. Wake up the wife.They chanced upon each other several times before bedtime, and they took turns brushing their teeth.One day four months later, before she came out of the bathroom, he was lying on the double bed reading a book like when he was in his arms, and fell asleep while reading.When she came back from the bathroom, she lay down next to him sullenly so that he would wake up and retreat.He was half asleep, and instead of getting up and going away, he blew out the candle, pulled the pillow, and fell into a comfortable sleep.She pushed his shoulders, reminding him that he should go to sleep in the study, but once again he felt so comfortable lying on the ancestral soft bed, so he simply negotiated in a compromise tone: "Let me sleep here." He said, "You're right, there's soap in the bathroom."

When recalling this episode in their near old age, neither he nor she could believe the amazing fact that the quarrel was the most serious in half a century of their life together, and that It was because of this quarrel that they had the idea of ​​reconciling and starting a new life.Although they were old enough to live in peace, they took care not to mention the matter, because otherwise the newly healed wounds would bleed again, and old grudges would become new ones. He was the first man who made Fermina hear the sound of urinating.It was on their wedding night, in the cabin of their French-bound ship.She was paralyzed by seasickness, and his fountain of piss was so powerful, almost stallion-like, that it added to her dread of the "disaster."As he got older, his urgency to urinate also weakened, but that memory haunted her because she never allowed him to wet the rim of the urinal.Dr. Urbino wanted to convince her with a simple truth that anyone could understand, that he wet the toilet not because of his carelessness, as she insisted, but because of his physiology. above reasons.When he was young, he urinated straight and straight. In middle school, he competed to urinate into a bottle, and he won the first place several times.But as he got older, not only did he lose his urge to urinate so much, but he also slanted, dripping, dripping, and dripping all over the place, and he couldn't grasp it at all, even though subjectively he was still trying his best to aim."The flush toilet must have been invented by a man who knew nothing about men," he said. He used his daily actions to secure the peace of the family, and to his wife was more submissive than courteous.Every day when he urinates, he wipes the side of the toilet with toilet paper.She knew about it, and when the smell of ammonia in the bathroom wasn't very noticeable, she said nothing.However, once the smell of ammonia became strong, she would exclaim as if she had discovered a crime: "It stinks even in the rabbit's nest." At the end of his life, Dr. Urbino finally came up with the last The solution to this trouble: Squat down to urinate like a wife, which not only keeps the urinal clean, but also saves a lot of effort. At that time, his ability to take care of himself was quite poor, and he avoided showering as much as possible, because a fall in the bathtub was enough to kill him.His home was modern, without the metal bathtubs with lion's legs that were common in old city mansions, which he had eliminated for hygienic reasons.He said: "Bathtubs are one of the dirtiest things for Europeans, they only bathe on the last Friday of every month, and they bathe in water that's dirty with dirt from their bodies." So he had an extra-large tub made of strong guaiac wood and Fermina bathed her husband in it as he would a newborn baby.Each bath takes more than an hour.The dark brown water boiled with mallow leaves and orange peel had such a calming effect on him that sometimes he fell asleep in the scented tub without knowing it.After the bath, Fermina helped him dress, put talcum powder between his legs, put cocoa butter on his burns, and she put his panties on so lovingly, as if he were a man. Baby in swaddling.She went on dressing him piece by piece, from socks to tie knots with topaz pins.There is harmony between the couple and squabbles at dawn are a thing of the past.He seems to have returned to the childhood taken away by his children, while she is busy with housework every day, and as the years go by, she gets older and sleeps less and less. Before she turns seventy, she always wakes up. earlier than her husband. When Dr. Urbino lifted the blanket to look at the body of Amorur that Sunday of Whitsunday, he discovered something that had been denied him during the most glorious voyages of his doctor and disciple.After so many years of dealing with the dead, after so many years of wrestling with death, after going back and forth and touching dead people, it seemed to him for the first time that he dared to look at a dead person face to face, and the dead person was doing the same thing. way watching him.He had never seen a dead person face to face before, not out of fear.For all these years fear had haunted him like a ghost.It started one night after he was awakened by a nightmare.He realized that death was not only as always a possibility as he felt it, but a fact of immediate occurrence.Instead, what he saw that day was the physical manifestation of a thing.That thing used to exist only in his imagination.He was glad that God had revealed it to him by surprise, using Amoul as an instrument.He had always regarded Amoul as a saint.But the suicide note revealing his true identity, his history of villainy and uncanny capacity for intrigue made Dr. Urbino feel that something irrevocable and irretrievable had been lost in his life. . Fermina was not infected by his melancholy mood.When she helped him tuck his legs into his trousers and button up a row of shirt buttons, he was trying to infect her with his emotions, but he didn't get there.Fermina was not so emotional, let alone the man who died was a man who had nothing to do with her.Little did she know that Amorul was a cripple with a cane, she had never seen him, and she did not know that he was in a riot on one of the islands in the Antilles--there have been countless riots-- He escaped from the firing squad, but Shi didn't know that he worked as a children's photographer for his livelihood, and he was the most prosperous businessman in the whole province.Nor did she know that he had once won a game of chess with a man whose name seemed to be Torremolinos but whose real name was Capablanca. "He is a fugitive from Cayena who has been sentenced to life imprisonment for a heinous crime," said Dr. Urbino. "Just imagine, he even ate human flesh!" He handed the suicide note to her, and he didn't want to tell anyone the secret in the letter until his death.But she didn't open the letter, she just put it on the dresser and locked the drawer with the key.She had grown accustomed to her husband's inexplicable fusses, his exaggerations which grew more incomprehensible with age, and his limited views which did not match his appearance.But that time she overstepped her boundaries.She thought that her husband's respect for Amorul was not due to the past history of this man, but because of what he had done since he arrived here as an exile with luggage.She didn't understand why he was so surprised and upset that Amoul finally revealed his identity.Nor did he understand why he felt a deep aversion to his harboring of women, since it was a hereditary fashion among men of his class, including himself in moments of ingratitude.In addition, she thought that the woman helped Amorul realize his death resolution, which was a painful sacrifice for love.She said: "If you decide to kill yourself with the same seriousness as he did, it will be my duty to do the same with hers." Dr. Urbino was once again at the crossroads of a bewildered incomprehension that made him He has been confused for half a century. "You don't know anything," he said. "It's not who he was or what he did that offends me, but that he's been deceiving us all for so many years." His eyes started to fill with tears, but she pretended not to see them. "He did the right thing," she retorted. "If he'd told the truth in the past, neither you nor that poor woman, nor anyone in this place, would have loved him that much." She hung the watch chain in the buttonhole of his vest for him, tied his tie, fastened it on his yellow basket, and put the handkerchief on his chest. In the front pocket, the corners of the handkerchief were open like a magnolia.At this time, the wall clock in the hall rang eleven times. "Let's go." She took his arm. "We're going to be late." Dr. Oliberia's wife and his seven brilliant daughters had prepared everything for the twenty-fifth anniversary lunch, and they were determined to make it a social event of the year. event. The doctor's house is located in what used to be the city center, where the former mint was converted into a luxurious mansion by an Italian Florentine architect who set off a wave of innovation here.The architect had transformed four or five seventeenth-century historic sites into Venetian cathedrals.The doctor's mansion has six bedrooms, a dining room, and a reception room. It is spacious, bright, and well-ventilated, but it can only be used to receive guests from other places who are specially invited, and it is not enough for local guests.The courtyard of the mansion is the same as the courtyard with the cloister in the monastery. In the center there is a stone fountain, which makes a pleasant sound from time to time, and the perfumed herbs on the flower beds exude an intoxicating fragrance.But the arched cloisters were not suitable for large numbers of dignitaries, so they decided to hold the luncheon at the country house, only ten minutes away by car.The villa has a 6,600 square meter yard filled with giant Indian laurel trees and native water lilies growing in a calm creek.Under the command of Mrs. Oliberia, the workers of Don Sancho's Inn set up colorful canvas tents in the open space without shade.Under the laurel tree, small tables were arranged on a long platform. On the long platform, there were one hundred and twenty sets of tableware, covered with linen tablecloths, and fresh roses were placed on the guest table. They also set up a long platform for the wind band, which played only antiphonal dances and folk waltzes, and the string quartet from the art school sat there.Mrs. Oliberia's astonishing move was unexpected by her husband's beloved teacher, who will host today's luncheon.Even though today isn't actually the day doctors graduate from college, they chose Whitsunday Sunday to enhance the festivities. Lunch preparations started three months earlier because they feared that something essential would not be done due to lack of time.From the Golden Swamp they brought a lot of live hens, the kind that are famous all over the coast—not only for their size and taste, but because they foraged in the alluvial soil, and could sometimes find them in their throat sacs. Find grains of pure gold.Mrs. Oliberia herself led her daughter and servants aboard the ocean liner, selecting the best from all over the world to honor her husband's exploits.Everything was foreseen except the rain.When she went to high mass that morning, the air was so humid, the air pressure was low, the sky was so cloudy that she couldn't even see the horizon, and she worried that it might rain.Despite these ominous omens, the director of the Meteorological Observatory said at Mass: "In the troubled history of this city, even in the worst winter, there has never been rain on Whitsunday. However, when the clock struck twelve and the guests were eating appetizers in the open air, a sudden thunder shook the earth, and the wind from the sea overturned the tables and chairs, and the tents were thrown into the air, and a catastrophic rainstorm fell from the sky. , The sky seems to be falling down. With difficulty, Dr. Urbino arrived at the country house in the torrential rain with the last of his fellow travelers. He also wanted to jump from one stone to another from the place where the car got off like other guests and cross the flooded yard, but in the end he could only accept Don San with a big yellow canvas umbrella in disgrace. With the help of Worker Qiao, he was held under his arms and hugged.The rickety tables were re-arranged indoors, and even the bedroom was used.The guests made no secret of their dismay at the devastation.It was as hot as a ship's boiler room because they had to close all the windows to keep the wind from blowing the rain in again.In the courtyard, the names of the guests were already placed on the table. According to the custom, men and women are seated separately.After the table was moved into the room, the name tags were all messed up, so everyone had to sit casually. It was messy, or at least not very elegant.In this catastrophe, Mrs. Oliberia is almost everywhere and appears in various places at the same time.Despite her drenched hair and mud-splattered garb, she faced the embarrassing situation with a smile on her face, a skill she had learned from her husband. Not angry, not impatient, never admit defeat no matter how difficult it is.With the help of her daughters, who had been forged in the same furnace as her, she not only rearranged the table of honor, but arranged it as well as possible, so that Dr. Urbino sat in the center and Archbishop Rey to his right.Fermina was sitting close to her husband as usual, she was afraid that he would fall asleep in the middle of the luncheon or spill it on his lapel.In the seat opposite sat Dr. Oliberia, a effeminate fifty-year-old man in good health, whose optimism had no influence on his accurate diagnosis.Sitting at the main table were officials at the provincial and municipal levels and the beauties elected the previous year. The governor held her arm and asked her to sit next to him.Although the guests were not required to wear particularly fine clothes, let alone a luncheon at a country house, the women wore evening gowns and jewellery.Most of the men were solemnly dressed in dark clothes and black ties, some in woolen frock coats.Only those accustomed to the spectacle, including Dr. Urbino, wore civilian clothes.Each seat has a menu in French with a bronzing pattern on it. Frightened by the heat wave, Mrs. Oliberia walked up and down the room, asking the guests to take off their clothes for dinner, but no one dared to take the lead.The archbishop reminded Dr. Urbino that the lunch was in some ways a historic one: for the first time since independence, the two sides in the civil war that had drowned the country in blood had healed their wounds , Eliminate the hatred, and sit at the same table for dinner.This idea of ​​the bishop coincided with the aspirations of the Liberals, especially the Young Liberals, who had finally elected their party's president after forty-five years of Conservative monopoly.Dr. Urbino disagreed with the archbishop.He believes that the Liberal President is no different from the Conservative Party, except that the Liberal President is less particular about dress.However, he did not want to displease the Archbishop.He had wanted to tell the Archbishop that the reason for the luncheon was the success of the well-born doctor, not what he thought it was.Indeed, the doctor's noble family and great achievements are above the political situation and the horrors of civil war.So no one was absent from that luncheon. The rainstorm stopped as suddenly as it started, and the sun immediately shone on the earth like a fire in the cloudless sky.But the wind was so strong it uprooted some trees and the standing water turned the yard into a swamp. The catastrophe hit the kitchen too, and several wood-burning stoves were built of brick in the open air at the back of the house, and the cook barely had time to move the keys to shelter from the rain.With difficulty, they scrambled their way into the already flooded kitchen and improvised a few new stoves in the back corridor.By one o'clock in the afternoon, all the necessary food was ready, except that the nuns of the convent of Santa Clara had not yet brought the dessert, which they had promised to deliver by eleven o'clock.People were worried that the water in the ravine beside the road would overflow again, as it did in the not so cold winter, and if so, the snacks would not be delivered until two o'clock in the afternoon.As soon as the rainstorm stopped, the windows were opened immediately, and the room was blown into the fresh air purified by the sulfur in the rainstorm, which made the room look very cool. The band played Qin waltz on the porch platform, and the brass instruments roared in the room, making people have to raise their voices. chat.Madame Oliberia, impatient with the wait, smiled with tears in her eyes, and ordered the dinner to begin. The art school band began to play, and in the austere silence, played Mozart's jigsaw.Although the voices of the people were getting louder and noisier, and Don Sancho's black servants were crowded again among the tables where the steaming dishes were placed, Dr. Urbino made room for the orchestra. Open space, let them finish the show.His spirit and memory deteriorate year after year, and he even has to record every move on paper in order to know where he has gone.But he can still conduct a serious conversation while conducting the performance in an orderly manner, although he has not yet reached the level of proficiency of a German orchestra conductor.The German conductor was his good friend in Austria, and he could read Giovanni Rouge's score while listening to "Laughter". The second piece was Schubert's "Death and the Maiden," which Dr. Urbino thought was light and dramatic.He listened with difficulty over the clatter of plates and knives and forks, and stared at a rosy-faced young man who nodded in greeting.No doubt he had seen him somewhere, but could not remember.It often happened that he forgot even the names of people he knew well or tunes he had heard in the past, and this caused him such agony that one night he would rather die than wait for the morning in this torment. .He was dying of anxiety when suddenly a benevolent light illuminated his memory that the young man had been his pupil the year before.He was surprised to see him in such a basic place, and Dr. Oliberia reminded him that he was the son of the Minister of Health, and he was here to prepare his forensic dissertation.Dr. Urbino greeted him with a gesture of joy, and the young doctor rose to his feet and responded with a salute.But neither then nor later did he realize that he was the intern who had been with him that morning at the Amomar's. He was relieved by yet another victory over old age's amnesia.So he lost himself in the last passionate, limpid piece, which he could neither recognize nor know whose composition it was.Later, a young man in the band who had just returned from France told him that it was Gafulev Faure's string quartet. Dr. Urbino had never heard the name of this man, although he was always very attentive to all that was happening in Europe.Fermina took care of him as usual, especially when she saw him in a daze in front of the public, she stopped eating, took his hand and put it in hers, and said to him: "Don't worry about it. !” Dr. Urbino smiled at her ecstatically, and at that moment he recalled her fears again.He remembered Amoul, in his fake military uniform and his old medals, lying quietly in his coffin under the condemning eyes of the children's photos.He turned to tell the Archbishop that he had committed suicide, but the Archbishop had already been informed. After High Mass, word spread so widely that he even received an application from Colonel Argot, on behalf of all the exiles in the Caribbean, to have the dead buried in a holy place."I don't think the plea is serious enough," he said, before asking Dr. Urbino in a more human tone if he knew the reason for the suicide.Dr. Urbino had a sudden inspiration and replied in a very positive tone that Amoul died of senile depression.Dr. Oliberia, who was taking care of his guests, did not pay attention to the conversation between his teacher and the archbishop for a moment, and then interjected: "It is a pity that suicides for love still occur." Urbino The doctor was not surprised to see that his disciple was of the same mind as himself. "Worse," he said, "is suicide by taking gold cyanide." As he said those words, he felt more sympathy than the pain the letter had caused him.He owes this not to his wife but to the magical power of music.At this time, he talked to the archbishop about the worldly saint he had met while playing chess leisurely in the evening, about his happiness in dedicating his art to the children, about his rare erudition, and his knowledge of everything in the world. Knowing, talking about his Spartan customs... At this moment, the doctor was surprised by the pure soul who had suddenly and completely broken with his past.Then he told the mayor that the negative archives of the child photographer should be bought in order to preserve the image of a generation that would never be happy except by taking pictures, but the city Our future is in the hands of this generation. The Archbishop was displeased by an orthodox literate Catholic who openly declared that suicide was a holy and noble act, but he agreed with the suggestion that the negatives be archived.The mayor wanted to know from whom to buy the negatives, and Dr. Urbino was anxious and at a loss as to what to say, because he wanted to keep a secret.But he still held his breath and did not announce the names of the heirs to the estate."Leave it to me," he said, feeling a sense of atonement from his devotion to the woman for having betrayed her five hours before.Fermina noticed this and she asked him to promise in a low voice that he would go to the funeral.He said of course he was going to do it, it was a matter of course.So he felt relieved. Speech is short and rapid.The brass band started playing a slang tune that wasn't on the program.The guests strolled on the terrace, waiting for the heirs of Don Sancho's Inn to drain the rainwater from the yard, and seeing who was in the mood to dance. Only the guests at the guest table remained in the drawing room to drink tea.Dr. Urbino drank the last half-glass of brandy in one gulp.He used to drink only a little wine and a plate of special raisins, and no one remembered him drinking brandy.But his mood that afternoon compelled him to do so, and thus compensated for his weakness.After many years, he finally got an interest in singing again.If the young musician had asked him so, and offered himself to accompany him, he would have sang with delight.As luck would have it, a brand new coupe drove through the muddy yard, splashing mud over the musicians and sending ducks squawking in the enclosure.The car was parked across from the porch.Dr. Urbino Daza and his wife got out of the car with a smile in each hand, holding a tray covered with lace cloth.The car was filled with the same pallets, right down to the driver's feet. That was the after-dinner snack that should have been delivered just in time.After a pause in applause and friendly mocking whistles, Dr. Urbino Daza explained solemnly: the nuns asked him to deliver the refreshments before the storm, but he turned a corner on the road. Bend because he was told that his parents' house was on fire.乌尔比诺医生没等儿子把话说完，就惊恐起来，他的妻子及时提醒他说，消防队员只是应他本人之请前去抓鹦鹉而已。尽管已经喝过了咖啡，精神焕发的奥利贝利亚夫人还是决定让大家在平台上用餐后点心。乌尔比诺医生和他的妻子没有吃点心就告辞了，在参加葬礼之前，他必须为神圣不可侵犯的午觉腾出时间。 他这次午睡的时间很短，而且睡得很不好，因为他回到家中时，看到了消防队员造成的破坏如此严重，丝毫不亚于一场大火灾。为了吓唬鹦鹉，他们用高压水龙带把那棵树的叶子全打光了。由于瞄错了地方，一股激流从卧室的窗户射进去，给家具和挂在墙上的无辜的祖父母的照片造成了无可挽回的损失。听到消防车的铃声，居民们纷纷赶来，以为真的失了火。好在星期日学校停课，才没有造成更大的混乱。 当消防队员们看到再高的梯子也不可能把鹦鹉抓住时，他们便动手砍起树来，幸好乌尔比诺?达萨医生及时赶到，才阻止了他们把树干锯掉。他们走时留下话说，打算五点钟以后再来锯树。他们不仅把露台和客厅的地板踩得到处是泥，还踩破了费尔米纳最喜爱的土耳其地毯。消防队造成了那么严重的灾难，但毫无收获，鹦鹉大概已趁着混乱逃到邻居的院子里去了。乌尔比诺在树丛中找了它好一阵子，鹦鹉既没有用任何语言也没有用口哨或歌声来回答他。他认为鹦鹉是丢定了，大约在三点钟时，便去睡午觉了。上床之前，他还蹲在厕所里，尽情地嗅了一阵摆在那儿的温馨的石刁相薄郁的花香。 他在悲伤中醒来。这不是早晨在朋友遗体前的那种悲伤，而是午觉醒来之后笼罩着他的心灵的无形的云雾。他认为那是一种神谕，告诉他大限已近，他正在度过他的最后的一个下午。五十岁前，他对自己内脏的大小、重量和状况不大了然。但是一过五十，渐渐地，每当他在午睡之后闭着眼睛躺着的时候，内脏的一切情况他都能体察得到，甚至能感到那正在跳动的心脏，神秘的肝脏，奇妙的胰腺。他发现就连比他年长的老人都比他年轻。在他的同代人中，他已是留在世上的最后一人了。 当他发现自己已经开始忘事时，他采用了从医科学校的一位老师那儿听来的办法：“失去记忆的人要用纸来帮忙。”然而，那也只不过是一种瞬息即逝的幻想，因为他的记忆力甚至衰退到这样的地步：他记不起口袋里那些纸条上写的是什么意思；戴着眼镜到处找眼镜；锁上门以后还在匙孔中转钥匙；读书时，读着读着就再也读不下去了，他忘记了情节的逻辑和人物之间的关系。最使他不安的是他已相信自己的理智：他已逐渐陷入了不可避免的灾难，失去了正确的判断能力。 凭着经验，乌尔比诺医生知道，大多数致命的疾病都有一种特殊的气味，而进入老年期后的气味比任何气味都更为独特。这一点，他从解剖台上已经解剖过的尸体中也能嗅闻出来，即使无法看清死者的年龄，尸体散发的气味也骗不过他的鼻子，他甚至从他自己的衣服的汗味和熟睡着的妻子的微弱的呼吸中，都能够辨别出那进入老年期的气味。从本质上讲，事情确实如此，否则一个老式的基督教徒也许会同意阿莫乌尔的意见：老年是一种不体面的状况，应该及时防止。 他过去身体相当强健，聊以为慰的是慢性欲慢慢地消失，逐渐在不知不觉中达到性的平静。到了入十一岁，他的头脑还相当清醒，他知道自己的生命只是由几根细线维系在这个世界上，这些细线，甚至他在睡梦中简单地换个姿势都有可能在毫无痛苦的情况下断掉。如果说他在尽一切努力维持这些细线的话，那是因为他害怕在死亡的黑暗中找不到上帝。 费尔米纳已经把被消防队员破坏的卧室重新整理就绪。快到四点钟时，她吩咐给丈夫送去一杯常喝的加冰柠檬水，并且提醒他，应该穿上衣服，准备去参加葬礼了。这天下午，乌尔比诺医生手头放着两本书，一本是亚历克西?卡雷尔的《人类之谜》，另一本是阿克塞尔?芒特的《圣?米歇尔传》。后面一本还没有开负，他要厨娘迪格纳?帕尔多把他忘在卧室里的象牙裁纸刀给他拿来。可是，当她把裁纸刀拿来时，他已经在读《人类之谜》中用一个信封夹着的那一页，那本书他很快就要读完了。他读得很慢，在午宴上最后碰杯时他喝了半小杯白兰地，此时稍感头痛。 阅读停下来时，他便呷一口柠檬水，或慢慢地在嘴里化一块冰。他穿上了袜子，穿上了一件没有假领的衬衣。带有绿色条纹的松紧带挂在裤腿的两旁。一想到必须更衣去参加葬礼，他就感到厌烦。他很快就停止读书，把它放在另一本书上，尔后开始在柳条摇椅上来回晃悠，心情沉重地观看着院子里沼泽地上的小香蕉树，光秃秃的芒果树，雨后出来的蚂蚁和另一个值得怀念的即将一去不复返的那下午短暂而绚丽的光彩。他已经忘记他曾经有过一只帕拉马里博鹦鹉，而且他象爱一个人似地爱着它。这时，他忽然听到一个声音说：“真正的小鹦鹉。”这声音很近，几乎就是在他身旁，他立即在芒果树最下面的枝头上找到了它。 “不要脸的东西。”他对它喊道。 鹦鹉以同样的声音反道：“你更不要脸，医生。” 他继续跟它谈着话，并且一直盯着它，同时小心翼翼地穿上短筒靴，以便不把它吓跑。接着，他把松紧带拉到肩膀上，起身往污泥满地的院里走去。在下平台的三道台阶时，为了避免滑倒，他用拐杖试探着。鹦鹉没有动，而且站得很低，他象往常一样把拐杖伸过去，想让它站在银柄上，但鹦鹉躲开了，它跳到了旁边较高的树枝上。在消防队到来之前，家里的精子就一直架在那儿，现在更容易捉住了。乌尔比诺医生估摸了一下高度，认为只要爬上两级，就能够抓住它。他爬上了梯子的第一级，唱着歌儿来转移那个不听话的家伙的注意力，而它没有唱，却在重复着他的歌词。医生顺手抓它时，它在枝头上左躲右闪，医生又用双手紧紧抓住梯子，不费力气地爬上了第二级。鹦鹉没有挪动地方，并且开始重复着他的歌曲。他感到刚才低估了树枝的高度，他又往上爬上了第三级和第四级。那时，他左手抓紧梯子，用右手去捉鹦鹉。老女仆帕尔多来了，她想提醒他天已不早，该去参加葬礼了。她进来时，看到有人爬在梯子上，要不是那条绿色的松紧吊裤带，她真不相信那就是乌尔比诺医生。 “天哪！”她喊道，“您会摔死的！” 乌尔比诺医生抓住鹦鹉的脖子，带着胜利的神情，高兴地舒了一口气：“啊，终于把你抓到了。”但是，他立即又把鹦鹉放走了，梯子在他的脚下滑开了。他悬在空中的一刹那，意识到自己死了。在圣灵降临节的这个星期天的下午四点零七分，来不及接受圣餐仪式，来不及忏悔，也来不及同任何人告别，他死了。 费尔米纳正在厨房品尝晚饭的场，忽然听到了帕尔多的可怕的尖叫声和佣仆们的吵嚷声，随之而来的是邻居们的哄闹声。她扔下汤勺，拼命往外跑，她上了年纪，心有余而力不足，怎样也跑不动。她象疯子似地喊叫着，不知道在枝繁叶茂的芒果树下发生了什么事。看到丈夫仰面躺在泥地上时，她的心几乎要从胸膛里跳出来了。 他已奄奄一息，还在抵抗着死神最后的打击，等候她的到来。他终于在混乱的人群中认出了她，眼里含着最后的痛苦的眼泪。他最后看了她一眼，在他们共同生活的半个世纪中，她从来没有看到过他的目光如此明亮，如此悲伤，如此充满感激之情。 他用尽最后的力气对她说：“只有上帝才能知道我多么爱你。” 乌尔比诺医生之死当然是值得纪念的。他刚从法国学成归国时，就在全国享有盛名，他采用新奇而激烈的措施制止了全省最后一次霍乱病的蔓延。上一次霍乱病流行时，他还在欧洲，那次霍乱病在不到三个月的时间内夺去了城里四分之一人的生命，包括他的父亲在内。他父亲也是一位有名望的医生。由于他名声大振，家产激增，他创办了一个医学研究会，这是多年来在加勒比海诸省建立的第一个，也是唯一的一个医学研究会，而且由他自己担任终身主席。他建设了第一条导水管和第一个下水道系统，还建立了有遮篷的公共市场，这个市场避免了阿尼马斯海湾污秽物的侵入。此外，他还是语言研究院和历史研究院的院长。由于他对教会的贡献，耶路撒冷的拉丁国家总主教授予他圣墓骑士团骑士的头衔。法国政府则授予了他来誉军团骑士团团长的军衔。他是本市所有爱国宗教团体的积极支持者，他全力支持爱国委员会，这个委员会的成员是城里那些没有官职的领袖人物，他们以当时过于激进的思想对政府和商界施加压力。在这些进步思想中，最值得纪念的是气体静力学的气球试验。第一次试飞时，他们通过气球把一封信带给沼泽地的圣?胡安，这一想法要比开创航空邮路的设想早出许多年。成立艺术中心也是这些人的主意，后来艺术中心又在同一幢房子里开设了美术学院，艺术中心和美术学校的旧址至今依然存在。多年来，艺术中心还是四月花会的赞助者。 整整一个世纪认为几乎不可能办到的事，他却办到了：从殖民时期以来已经变成斗鸡场和公鸡饲养场的喜剧院，被重新修复了，那堪称是一场惊心动魄的爱国运动的顶峰，本市各界都卷了过去，无一例外。人们被广泛地发动起来，参与这项公认的宏伟的事业。总之，喜剧院在既无座位又无灯光的情况下举行了落成的典礼，开始演戏。观众不得不自带座位，幕间休息时他们点起自己带来的灯笼。剧院的节目公演时，也象欧洲那般隆重，贵妇们利用这个机会，在加勒比海地区的大伏天，争相炫耀她们的长礼服和皮大衣。不过，剧院也必须准许仆人进入，由他们搬椅子，提灯笼，携带各种他们认为必要的吃食。节目一演就没完没了，有的节目一直拖到做晨弥撒时方告结束。首先在这个剧院演出的，是一个法国歌剧团，这个乐队的新型乐器——竖琴——使人大开眼界。但最令人难忘并引以为骄傲的，是一位才华出众的土耳其女高音，她不仅歌喉婉转无可挑剔，而且赤着脚演唱，脚趾上戴着贵重的宝石戒指，更增加了她演出的戏剧效果。从第一幕开始，人们就几乎看不到舞台，密密麻麻的椰油灯里冒出的黑烟笼罩着舞台的空间，熏得歌唱家们走了调。城里的新闻记者对这些小小的不足之处毫不介意，他们交口赞扬那些值得纪念的东西。无可置疑，演出歌剧是由乌尔比诺医生倡议的，他的倡议是那样的富有感染力，以致使歌剧热一直影响到本市最偏僻的角落， 甚至导致了《特里斯坦和依索尔德》 、《澳赛罗人洞依达》和《齐格弗里行》等著名歌剧的出现，造就了瓦格纳、威尔地式的整整一代著名作曲家。然而，歌剧始终没有发展到乌尔比诺所希望的顶点，因为意大利派和瓦格纳派在幕间休息时并没有象预期那样面对面地敲着拐杖争论得面红耳赤。 乌尔比诺医生从不接受任何委任。他无情地抨击那些利用职业威望捞取政治地位的医生。他一向被认为是个自由党人，而且在选举中他常常投自由党候选人的票，但与其说他站在自由党一边是由于信念，还不如说是由于传统。当大主教华丽的四轮马车通过时，也许他是最后一个当街下跪的贵族的成员。他认为自己是天生的和平主义者，主张为了祖国的利益，自由党和保守党应该彻底妥协。然而，他在公开的行动中一贯自行其是，以致谁都不把他当做自己人。自由党人把他看做山洞里的哥特人，保守党人认为他几乎是共济会成员，而共济会员们又把他视做替罗马教廷效劳的暗藏的牧师，对他深恶痛绝。对他的批评不那么愤恨的人也认为，他只不过是全民族被无休止的内战血泊淹没之时的一名在花会中逍遥自在的贵族而已。 只有两件事同他的这一形象不符。一件是他把家搬到了暴发户区，新居是用卡萨尔杜埃罗侯爵古老的宫殿式的楼房换来的，那座楼房一个多世纪以来一直是这个家族的邸宅；另一件是和一位既无名望又无财产的本地美女联姻，从而遭到那些有着长长姓名的夫人们的暗中嘲笑。鉴于那位姑娘的“高贵出身”和“气质”，她们无法不相信她比她们所有的人都更为优越。乌尔比诺医生对那些议论和许多其它有关他公开形象的议论，一向心中有数，而且知道他自己正是那个正在消亡中的姓氏的最后一个主角，这一点，他比谁都清楚。他的子女是家族中两个平平庸庸的人。 儿子同他一样，是个医生，就像历代的所有长子一样，毫无建树，年过五十，连个儿子都没有。女儿和新奥尔良银行一个善良的职员结了婚，已进入更年期，膝下有三个女儿，没有一个男孩。在历史的长河里，他的氏族血统将由此而中断，这使他伤心不已，可是更令这位医生操心的是在他死后费尔米纳的孤独的生活。没有他，她如何打发日子! 那场悲剧震撼了医生的全家人，也影响到了全城，百姓们都走到大街上，想把事情打听个究竟。全市宣布致哀三天，各种机构和商店都降了半旗，所有教堂的钟声都在不停地敲响，直到死者的尸体在家庭陵园里入葬。美术学院一个班的学生，做了一个遗体的真容模型，以便为将来塑半身像留下个模特儿。但是，这计划刚开始便被取消，人们都这样认为，那个逼真地塑出了医生最后一到恐怖神情的真容模型有失庄重。一个凑巧打这儿经过的欧洲艺术名家画了一幅伤感现实主义的大油画，再现了乌尔比诺医生在梯子上伸手捕捉鹦鹉的致命的一刹那。画面上唯一与原来事实不符的是，一他穿的不是无领衬衣和用绿色吊带系着的裤子，而是戴着蘑菇帽，穿着霍乱流行期报上经常刊登的版画人物身上的黑呢大礼服。这幅画在乌尔比诺医生逝世几个月之后陈列在一个名叫“金铃裆”的大画廊里，让民众一饱眼福；尔后又挂在公私机关的墙上展出，这些机关都认为应向这位杰出的贵族表示敬意。最后，这幅画陈列在美术学院，并为此在那儿举行了第二次葬礼。又过了多年，美术学校的学生把它拿到大学广场上烧掉了，他们把它看做一种美学的象征，也把它看做一个令人厌恶的时代的象征。 费尔米纳从成为未亡人的那一刻起，就不像她丈夫担心的那样孤独和无用。她下了决心，毫不妥协，不允许利用她丈夫遗体做任何事情，包括共和国总统拍来的电报都没有用，那个电报命令把尸体放在红箱子里摆在省府会议厅让人们瞻仰。她也以同样冷静的头脑反对在教堂为丈夫守灵。那是大主教亲自要求的，她只答应在举行葬礼弥撒时把尸体移到教堂去。被各种各样的要求弄得手足无措的儿子出来调停，她也仍然毫不动摇地坚持她的农村观念：死者不属于任何人，只属于他的家庭。 他们应在自己家里喝着苦咖啡，吃着奶酪饼守灵，每个人都享有充分的自由，想怎样哭就怎样哭。他们将免去传统的守灵九昼夜的仪式，在葬礼之后就把大门关闭，除了最知己的客人之外，不接待任何来访者。 家里笼罩着居丧的气氛。所有贵重的东西都放在安全的地方。光秃秃的墙壁上只留下挂过画画的痕迹。自家的椅子和从邻居那儿借来的椅子都摆在从客厅到卧室的墙边。除了摆在一个角落里用白床单盖着的钢琴外，大型家具都搬走了。空间似乎扩大了，声音发出鬼怪似的回响。书库的中央，在他父亲的写字台上，躺着医生的遗体，他的脸上带着最后的惊恐表情。他穿着黑斗篷，披着圣塞骑上的战刀。在遗体的旁边，身穿重孝，浑身颤抖，但自制力仍然很强的费尔米纳，忍着悲痛，庄严地接受人们的吊唁，坚持到第二天上午十一点钟，几乎纹丝不动。十一点钟一过，她便站在门廊上，挥着手帕向丈夫的遗体告别。 自从她听到帕尔多在院子里喊叫，看见老头儿在泥地上奄奄一息地挣扎以来，现在能恢复到控制自如的状态委实不易。当时她的第一个反应是认为丈夫尚有希望，因为他还睁着眼睛，瞳孔是那样明亮，她从来就没见到过。她恳求上帝至少给她一点时间，以便让他知道，尽管他们之间出现过多次疑云，她却始终在爱着他。她实在不愿他在明了这一点之前就离开人世。她感到有一种强烈的难以抵制的愿望，希望同他重新开始生活，以便互相表达长期压在心头尚未出口的话，把过去没有安排妥当的事情重新做好。但是，在无情的死神面前，她只好投降了。她的痛苦变成了一种盲目的忿怒，她对谁都言词激烈，怒气冲冲，甚至对自己也是如此。这倒使她获得了自我控制的能力和独自忍受寂寞的勇气。从那一刻起，她便不停地做事，不让脸上露出任何痛苦的痕迹。唯一身不由己地流露出某种凄楚的时刻是星期日夜里十一点，当时根据大主教的命令，把还在散发着垫木的气味、打着铜箍、盖着红罩的棺材抬走了。乌尔比诺?达萨医生命令立即盖棺，在那难以忍受的炎热天气里，家中那么多花散发出的味道使得空气都变得稀薄了，他似乎看到父亲的脖颈上出现了最初的紫色痕迹。他在宁静中仿佛听到了一个漫不经心的声音：“人到了这个年纪，活着也烂了一半。”在盖棺之前，费尔米纳摘下结婚戒指，把它戴在亡夫手上，然后用自己的手捂住他的手，就象平常她看到他在公共场合信口开河地讲话时做的那样。 “我们很快就会再见面的。”她对丈夫说。 听了这话，躲藏在社会名流中的费洛伦蒂纳?阿里萨，感到象是在体侧被击了一枪。费尔米纳在最初吊唁的混乱中没有认出他来。其实，在处理那天晚上的紧急事故中，谁都没有他出现得及时，谁都没有他更起作用。是他把满满当当的厨房发排得井井有条，使咖啡得以充分供应。当从邻居借来的椅子不敷应用时，是他从别处弄来了椅子。当室内摆满了花圈时，是他命令把余下的花圈搬到院子里去。他为奥利贝利亚医生请来的客人端去了白兰地，那些客人是在庆祝从业二十五周年的高潮时听到噩耗后急急忙忙地赶到这里来的，他们在芒果树旁围成一圈坐下，继续吃喝作乐。当鹦鹉昂着脑袋张开翅膀半夜出现在饭厅时，他是唯一及时作出反应的人。 鹦鹉的出现，使全家人不寒而栗，因为那仿佛是惩罚性的遗赠。阿里萨抓住鹦鹉的脖子，不让它叫出荒唐的话来，并把它放入带罩的鸟笼挂进了马厩。这一切，他做得是如此干净利落，以致没有一个人认为他介入了别人的家务，相反倒认为他在那个家里遭受厄运的时刻做出了无法估量的贡献。 从表面来看，他是一个乐于助人的严肃的老人。躯干消瘦而笔挺，棕褐色的皮肤上汗毛稀少，白金架的眼镜后面藏着一对贪婪的眼睛，末端粘得很好的罗曼蒂克的小胡子已有点过时。他的最后几缕鬓发往上梳着，用发蜡紧紧贴在闪闪发亮的头顿中央，似乎这样就最后解决了他的秃顶问题。他的天然的文雅和郁郁寡欢的举止十分讨人喜欢，但同时也被视为一个顽固的光棍汉身上的两种可疑的品德。他花费了许多钱，用了许多心计，费了好大的力气，为的是不让人们看出在当年的三月份他已满了七十六岁，而且他在孤寂的心灵中深藏着一个信念，在这个世界上，没有哪个人比他爱得更深。 那天，尽管六月的天气热得叫人透不过气，从听到乌尔比诺医生去世的消息起，直到晚上，他还是穿着惯常穿的衣服。深色的呢料坎肩，衬衣的硬领上系着丝带结。 戴着毡帽，手热一把兼做拐杖的黑绸伞。黎明时分，他从守灵的地方离开了两个小时。太阳刚刚升起时，他又大大方方地回来了，胡子修聋得整整齐齐，美容洗发剂的香气四溢。他换上了一件黑呢料大礼服，这种衣服他平时一般不容，只有在参加葬礼和出席圣周弥撒时才正式穿用。他没有打领带，而是在硬翻领上别了艺术家的带状饰物，头上换了一顶蘑菇帽。他还是带着伞，但此时已不仅是出于习惯，而是因为他估计在十二点钟之前肯定有雨。他把下雨的迹象告诉死者的儿子乌尔比诺?达萨医生，以便让他考虑是否有可能提前安排葬礼。他们也真的试图这样做了，因为他们知道阿里萨出身于船主家庭，本人是加勒比海内河航运公司经理，对气象是个内行。但是他们无法及时在民政当局和军事当局、公共团体和私人团体、军乐队和艺术学校乐队，以及各宗教团体之间进行协调，大家早已同意在十一点举行葬礼，可仓促之间难以达成一致协议。这样一来，那次历史性的安葬仪式便被一场倾盆大雨弄得狼狈不堪。咕吱咕吱地踩着泥水到达家庭陵墓的送葬者寥寥无几。陵墓的庇护者是一棵欧洲木棉树，繁茂的枝叶一直探到墓地的墙外。就在同一棵木棉的树荫下，在墙外被指定埋葬自杀者的一座小墓上，前天下午，加勒比海地区的流亡者们埋葬了阿莫乌尔，根据他本人的意愿，他的爱犬和他同穴安眠。 阿里萨是为数不多的坚持到达墓地的人之一。他连内衣都湿透了。他提心吊胆地回到家里，这么多年以来，他一直小心翼翼、无微不至地爱护着自己的身体，生怕被这次大雨浇出肺炎来。他煮了一杯热柠檬水，又加了一点白兰地，躺在床上用它冲服下两片阿斯匹林，裹在毛毯里出了满身大汗，身体才暖和过来。他再度回到守灵的地方时，已感到精神抖擞了。费尔米纳重新挑起了操持家务的重担。房间已进行了清扫，可以接待客人了。书房里设了个祭坛，安放着一张已故丈夫的蜡笔肖像，像框上挂着黑纱。八点钟时就宾客盈门，天又象前一天夜晚那么炎热，于是在做完念珠祈祷之后，有人提出要早些告退，以便让亡者的遗孀稍事休息，从星期日下午以来，她一直未得消停。 费尔米纳站在祭坛旁边，跟来客告别，把最后一批契友一直送到临街的门口之后，她象往常那样，要亲自把门关好。她正在关门时，却看到了穿着丧服站在空旷的客厅里的阿里萨。她感到意外惊异，因为多年以来，她就把他从她的生活中抹掉了。这是第一次她从忘却中恢复过来，清清楚楚地看到了他。在她尚未来得及为他的来访致谢之前，他已经浑身战栗着庄严地把帽子放在胸前，郁积在心中的话陡然引爆，那句话一直是他生命的支柱。 “费尔米纳，”他对她说，“我为这个机会等了半个多世纪，为的是再一次向您表达我的誓言，我永远爱您，忠贞不渝。 倘若费尔米纳?达萨没有想到阿里萨在此时此地出现是上帝的旨意的话，她真会以为站在她面前的是一个疯子。她的第一个冲动就是高声诅咒他，她的丈夫在坟墓里尸骨未寒，他就这样来到她的面前，这是对她家门的亵渎。但是，狂怒和尊严不允许她这么做。“滚开！”她对他说，“这辈子别让我再看到你。”她重新把刚要关上的临街大门彻底打开，最后加了一句：“但愿你在世界上的日子也不长了。” 当她听到他的脚步声在寂静的街道上渐去渐远时，便慢慢地关上了门，上了门闩和插销。现在，她要独自面对自己的命运了。在这以前，她从未完全意识到她年满十八岁时发生的那场悲剧的轻重和后果。这场悲剧她必须一直演下去，直到她死去为止。自从那个灾难性的下午以来，她第一次悄悄地哭了。她为丈夫的死亡而哭，为她的孤独和忿怒而哭。当她走进空荡荡的卧室时，她又为自己而哭，她自从出嫁以来，很少一个人独自睡在那张床上。丈夫留下的一切都使她流泪不止：带穗头的拖鞋，枕头下面的睡衣，梳妆台上镜子里她丈夫的身影的空缺，以及她丈夫皮肤上散发的特有的气息。一种恍惚的思想震动了她：“一人被爱的人，死去时应当把一切带走。”她不愿在任何人的帮助下就眠，睡觉之前也不想吃任何东西。由于悲痛已极，她祈求上帝让她在睡梦中被死神召去，她怀着这样的幻想脱下了鞋，和衣而卧，很快就睡着了。她不知道自己已经入睡，睡梦中她还意识到自己还活着，意识到床上空出了一半，她象往常那样测躺在左边，而在右边缺少另一个身体跟她对称。 她在梦寐中思虑着，她想她绝不能再这么下去，不禁呜咽起来。她在梦中哭泣了好一阵，雄鸡终于高啼，不受欢迎的晨光将她唤醒。她醒来时，看到身边没有丈夫，只有了然一个人，只是在那个时候，她才意识到她在梦中痛哭了很久，然而她并没有死。她还发现，自己在啜着睡觉时，想阿里萨的成分比想她死去的丈夫更多。