Chapter 32 42

42 "If that's the case, that's a big deal." "There's nothing more important than this, Steve," his father was excited. "To quote Coleridge - I believe in Plato and Socrates. I believe in Christ. I will tell you what I thought when I heard Tom preach in church this morning. I have never wavered in my faith, So don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say. But I've been heartbroken over the past year as I've seen young people -- not just young people, but their parents -- turning their backs on religion and the Bible .They are turning to the wrong idols, they are all saying: You show me God. They have to use some science to prove it, as if the visible things are the proven truth, as if science itself has no abstract and mysterious Things. People are constantly filling their desires with tangible and tangible things. But after a while of calm thinking, they consider the purpose of life and the meaning of life. Don't you feel that this is going on ?child."

"I feel it, Dad." "They can't find answers in God and Jesus because they can't understand Jesus by faith alone. So they can't accept a message from a man they don't believe in, so they turn their backs on him. Boy, I think This has happened to you too, and it has happened in various families in our parish, only to varying degrees." "I know, I discussed it with Tom Carey during your illness." "Well, I myself am very glad that this thing is over. I believe that God must know what is happening. That is why he came back to earth at this critical moment. In Ostia Antica Surely the discovery cannot be accidental, it is the result of divine inspiration."

"Ostia Antive—" thought Randall—"no, it's not accidental. How difficult it is to tell father about it!" "Now we can give all of us satisfactory answers to two questions about our faith," continued his father, "do we accept Jesus as our Savior and pledge allegiance to his Kingdom? We accept His Is the Christian faith given to us in the New Testament? Those who could not answer yes to these two questions before can now at last say yes. We are really grateful to that righteous James who gave us Affirmative answer. For those who demand to judge everything by scientific standards, the Savior has visible evidence. For me personally, my selfish test is a thing of the past. I know that my church holds Stay, I see Carey's faith restored, I finally have an heir again. Those young people who are hesitant like my granddaughter Judy and daughter Claire have found their haven of peace, you see their Change, Steve?"

Steve nodded. "I'm happy for them. Unspeakably happy." "For myself, when my time is up, I shall never be afraid again. I have always had a great belief in heaven,--not a heaven with towers of gold and roads paved with gold. ...but the heaven where the souls of the redeemed will be received by God and his Son. Now, I have lived to see that heaven will be realized on earth. That is when good overcomes poverty, violence and injustice, to that At that time, the world will be full of benevolence and peace, and this gospel has also brought the great unity of more than 200 branches of Christianity, and further merged with Catholicism and Judaism." He paused for a while, "Why don't you speak, let me Talking alone? Winter is so talkative. Well, boy, I want to hear from you, what do you want to tell me?"

"That's not important, Dad. Let's talk about it some other time!" Randall glanced at his father and saw him leaning back in his seat, eyes tightly shut.Not Spinoza, but Nathan Randall, the one who really got carried away by God, Randall thought. "You must be tired, Dad," he said, pulling the car out onto the street. "You should rest for a while." He slowly drove the car to the snowy shore. "I just feel at peace, son," he heard his father whisper. "I've never felt such divine peace. I hope you feel it now." Randall pulled the car up to the house, pulled the corner, and turned off the engine.He turned to his father, wanting to tell him that he was so sure he would find peace too, in the same way or another.He also had to tell his father that he was home.

But the father was asleep, his eyes closed, and there was an infinite peace about him. When Randall didn't take his father's hand and feel his pulse, there was an omen. He knew that his father had passed away.It seemed impossible for him to approach the old man who had closed his eyes and slept forever.Father looked as if he was still alive, with a smile on his serene face, as he did when he was alive. Randall wrapped his father's limp body in his arms, and the old man's gray head rested on his chest. "No, Dad," he said to himself, "don't go, don't leave me." He shook his father hard, and the voice of begging his father in childhood appeared again. "Stay, Dad, you can't leave me alone."

He held his father tighter and tighter, refusing to accept it all, trying in vain to hope that his father was still alive. It was impossible that the old man would not die.But after a while, he knew he wasn't dead and never would be, and then he finally let him go. The funeral in the Christian auditorium is over.Mourners assembled in file on the snow outside and stood before the casket.Randall supported his mother and led her away from the coffin to the exit. He entrusted his mother to his sister and Uncle Herman. He kissed his mother's forehead. "It's going to be all right, Ma, he's at rest."

He lingered and watched as they led his mother to the hearse where Judy, Ed Johnson, and Tom Carey stood. Randall came to the chapel alone, looking around helplessly at the sanctuary where his life was destined to be.The rows of pews were empty now, the lectern was abandoned there, the organ stood silently, and the vicarage's guest room was deserted.But what kept ringing in his mind were the funeral prayers.He could hear the hymn at the beginning of the funeral, "Great God, Lord of Glory." He could also hear Tom Carey's verse: "Jesus Christ said, 'I am the resurrection, I am the life, he who believes in me, Though he is dead, he is still alive; those who live, believe in me, shall never die'." He could also hear all the chants at the funeral: "Glory to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, to the Lord forever. ; as the day of the creation of the world, and as the present age forever and ever, without end, Amen."

His gaze moved to the coffin surrounded by flowers. Almost involuntarily, he also moved to the coffin.There he stared down at the dead body of his father, the venerable Nathan Randall who would sleep forever. He thought: The son will never be a grown-up until the father dies.Who said this?He remembered, Freud had said. The son, who never becomes an adult until his father dies, looks at his father in the coffin.His father was dead, he was dead, but he didn't feel like an adult at all, he was still his father's son, the little boy, the little boy who had passed.So the little boy was lost.

He tried to stay calm, to remind himself that he was a grown-up, but the tears couldn't help streaming down his face.He tasted the tears streaming to his mouth, bitter and astringent.He felt a pang of sadness fill his chest.Finally he couldn't stop sobbing. After several minutes, the sobbing died down and he wiped away the tears.Knowing that I am no longer a child, whether I like it or not, I am an adult.However, what is extremely subtle is that the attachment he had to his parents as a child was always lingering. One last look, rest in peace Dad, in the heaven of your heart and spirit, with the God you know, Jesus Christ, Dad, I'm leaving, but we'll see each other again.

A moment later, Randall left the coffin with a hint of fear and joined the flow of people performing the last rites. For the next hour in the cemetery, he remained dazed. Beside the tomb, when he watched the loess bury his father's coffin, he kept praying for his father. "My merciful Father, please hear my prayer for this old man, please send your archangel and your glorious messenger to take my father to heaven." It wasn't until they left the cemetery in two large limousines to receive mourners that Randall Fon was stunned to remember a very similar scene and its origin. That is the prayer of Jesus at the tomb of his father Joseph, and it is reported in the Gospel of James. It is not known whether the prayer was written by James or Robert LeBlanc. For Randall, it doesn't matter anyway.No matter where it comes from, these words will comfort the father on the last journey, these words are holy and right. His mind cleared up, and the depression in his chest disappeared.Half a mile from home, he asked the driver to stop and let him go down. "Don't worry, Ma," he said. "I just want some fresh air. I'll catch up with you, Claire, and Judy in a minute. I'll be fine. Take care." Standing by the side of the road, he watched the car drive away, dodging a young man on a sled.Randall took off his gloves, put his hands in his coat pockets, and started walking. After walking five streets, I saw my own big stucco house in the distance.It started snowing again.The goose-feather-like snowflakes fluttered down, freezing his cheeks. When he reached the snow-covered lawn in front of his door, he felt ready to join the ranks of grown-ups.There is still much unfinished work that must be done by the end of the year.He walked down the hall, and from the bay window he could see that the bedroom lights were on.A dozen visitors were gathering around his mother and Claire, Ed Johnson was mixing spiced wine, and Uncle Herman was passing sandwich plates to the guests.Randall knew that nothing would happen to his mother, and he would be with her soon.Now, from a son to a man, he must make up his own mind to solve all problems. He no longer walked towards the hall, but walked along the path beside the house to the back door.Quickening his pace, he ran to the back door, walked into the kitchen, and ran back to the bedroom from the back stairs. He found Wanda in the bedroom, stuffing the things she used with her into her bag.He called her yesterday to tell her what happened here, and told her that he would return to the office after the new year.She came here last night, not as his secretary but as his friend, to help and comfort him.She is now preparing to go back. He embraced her from behind, kissing her cheek and hugging her. "Thank you, Wanda, for everything you've done for me." She pushed him away, looked at him with worried eyes and said, "Are you all right? I'm going to get a taxi to the airport, but if you need me, I can stay a little longer and ask." "I need you to go back to New York, Wanda. I need you to do something, and I need to finish it before the new year." "I'll be back in the office tomorrow. Do you want me to write it down, Steve?" He smiled. "I think you'll remember, first of all, do you remember when I told you about the book I wrote in Vermont that's in the safe now?" "Remember." "I put it in a cardboard box labeled 'Second Resurrection'." "I know, boss. I wrote that tag." "Okay, you have the combination of that safe, tomorrow, take out that box, I'm going to throw it away." "What's the meaning?" "Bridges to burn, Wanda. I don't need them anymore. I don't go back, I want to go forward—" "But you put so much effort into that manuscript, boss?" "Save it for now, Wanda. I haven't told you how to throw it away, and you'll find out in a moment. Now, I need you to call Thad Crawford. He knows that Buhler and Global Corporation are in Wait for my answer before New Years. Let Thad Crawford tell him I've made a decision. The decision is, I'm not selling my company to a global conglomerate. I've got a better idea." "Wow, boss!" Wanda exclaimed happily while hugging him tightly. "Okay, one more thing. You can do it right here. Do you know where McLoughlin lives?" "I called him last week and he wanted to know when you're coming back?" "Okay, get in touch with him." He pointed to the phone on the table and said, "Tell him that I'm back and I want to talk to him now." Immediately, he was connected to McLoughlin in Washington, D.C. by long-distance. The young man said, "Mr. Randall, it's about time. I thought we never had a chance to talk, so I missed the opportunity. Things are going in a good direction, and I'm putting those robbers, hypocrites Waiting for the evidence to be collected is almost done. We can start a big fight now. The next step is up to you. Are you ready to publicize the situation of the "Vientiane Exposure Agency" to the public? Are you ready? ?" "Just two things, Jim. And my name is Steve." "Steve, of course." But the voice on the other end was a little nervous. "What's the deal, Steve?" "Number one, when I was in Europe a while back I did a little bit of work like yours. I was involved in something and the people who did it seemed like decent people. Maybe they were right, but I'm always skeptical , I think what they did was a deceit, so I wanted to find out. But due to various reasons, I did not catch enough evidence. I have written down the details of this matter, and I will wait until tomorrow Just send my secretary Wanda to deliver them to you. You'll receive a cardboard box labeled 'Second Resurrection'—" "The 'Second Resurrection'?" McLoughlin interrupted. "What have you got to do with it, can you tell me?" "Not now. The manuscript will tell you everything you need to know. We'll talk about things we don't know. Anyway, it's best if you pick up where I left off. I I just hope that you will think about this matter, as for whether you are interested or not, it is up to you to decide." "I fully accept the first condition, no problem." McLoughlin hesitated and continued, "The second condition, Steve—your second condition is..." "If you accept my challenge, I accept yours," Randall said simply. "What's the meaning?" "I mean, I want to do what you do. You can do fact-finding but you can't make it public. I can't do fact-finding, but I have publicity. Look, we Can we join hands and jointly seek some benefits for mankind? How about starting now?" McLoughlin yelled, "Are you telling the truth? Steve, you're not kidding, are you?" "I'm all about business. Together or nothing at all. You'll be the chairman and I'll be your vice-chairman—a vice-chairman in charge of speaking! Do you hear me?" "I hear you, boy, we've got a deal, what a Christmas present." "Me too!" Randall said quietly. "Let's talk next year." When he turned to Wanda and took the bag off her shoulders, he could see her cheeks were wet and flushed. "Oh, Steve, Steve—" she said, breaking down in sobs again. "Go back and type your words, miss," he said bluntly, "leave this stupid thing to me." He watched her go downstairs and into the taxi.She rolled down the rear window as the car drove. She stuck her head out. "I just want to say I like your two girls, Boss, I like them a lot. You're gonna win. Have fun, they're making a snowman in the backyard. Happy New Year, Boss!" The taxi left quickly. He turned to the house, wanting to look into the living room, but thought he'd have plenty of time to do that anyway. There was one more unfinished business, the last one, in the backyard. He walked slowly along the side of the room, wiping the snowflakes off his cheeks with his hands. He knew he had finally found the answer to Petronas' age-old question.This question has haunted him throughout the summer and beyond. Petronas' question is: what is truth? He thought it was an unanswered question.Now he knows he was wrong.It has answers. Feeling the beauty of snow melting on his face, he said to himself: Truth is love. To love, one must believe in oneself, in others, in the underlying purpose of existence, in a plan after existence. This is the truth, he told himself. He came to the snow in the large empty field behind the house, and for the first time felt the tranquility and fearlessness that his father had made him feel, and he no longer felt lonely. In front, looming that funny big snowman.The daughter is putting a snowball on the snowman's face as a nose. "Hi, Judy," he called. She turned a little sideways, waved her hand happily, replied, "Hi, Daddy," and continued playing. Then he saw another girl, smug in her black hair with a ski cap on her head.She flashed out from behind the big snowman and was busy making the snowman into a man. "Hey, Angela," he called to her, "I love you, do I know that?" She rushed over through the snow. "My dear," she called to him, "my dear!" and at last she threw herself into his arms.He knew, he knew he would never let her go again.