Chapter 10 The Sadness of a Super Soul, Series Six

Series 6 Sadness of a Super Soul (4) the next day Why does Otto seem to be avoiding me?Did he have some grievance that I couldn't share?Today he moved his stool to the other side of the grass.He sat in the long grass behind a cluster of elderberries.I didn't see him at first.I thought he had hanged himself.But he said it wouldn't work.He forgot to bring the rope.He said he had tried to shoot himself.But he missed himself. five days later Otto and I were not prepared to die.We're going to live, we're going to live forever and love each other!Let's go out and go into the world together!How happy I am!

Otto and I are going to run away together. By the time Alexis comes we'll be gone; we'll never come back. I have told Otto that I am going away with him, and he has promised. I told him we were going out into the world together, walking empty-handed and fighting the world openly.I said he should be my servant, my knight! Otto said he would be my knight. He has agreed.But he said we shouldn't go on the road with empty hands.I do not know why he thought of this, but as he was determined, I obeyed my lord.He took care of all our preparations. Every morning I took a little bag of my things to the meadow, and gave them to my knight, who took them to his inn.

I took my casket with me last week, and yesterday, at his request, I withdrew my deposit from the bank and gave it to my knight.There is nothing wrong with keeping it with him. Today he said I needed something small to help me miss my mom and dad when we were gone.So I took my father's gold watch while he was asleep.my hero!How thoughtful he is of my happiness! the next day Everything is ready.Tomorrow I'm going to meet Otto on the meadow with that watch and the rest. We're going to run away together tomorrow night.I'm going down to the little gate in the garden, where Otto will be waiting for me.

Today I went around the house and garden and said goodbye to them.I have said goodbye to my Chupvskaya flowers, and the birds and the bees. Tomorrow it will all be over. the next day. How can I write about what has happened!My soul is broken in its entirety. All my worst fears finally happened.How can I survive! Alexis is back.He and Otto had a duel. oh god!That's horrible. I was standing on the grass with Otto.I brought him that watch and I gave it to him with all my love and my life. We stood there, and then I turned around and saw Alexis striding across the grass toward us. How tall he is, what a warrior!A thought flashed through my mind: if Otto had killed him, he'd be lying there stiff, lifeless.

"Go, Otto," I cried, "go, or you'll kill him if you don't." Otto looked and saw Alexis coming.He gave me a fat look: his face was full of infinite meaning. Then, for my sake, he ran.How regal he looked.What a brave heart!He dared not stay and risk letting his rage explode. But Alexis caught up to him. Then they fought on the bank of the river.what!It was scary to watch them fight.Isn't it scary for men to wrestle together? I could only stand aside and wring my fingers, watching them anxiously. First, Alexis grabbed Otto by the belt on his trousers and held him in the air, spinning him round and round.I could see Otto's face as he spun: it had the same silent courage as he turned and ran.Alexis kept spinning Otto until the strap snapped and Otto fell hard in the grass.

This is the first round of the fight. Then Alexis stood beside Otto and kicked Otto from behind as he lay in the grass, and they fought like this for a while.This is the second round.Then came the third and final round.Alexis picked up the frame and knocked the picture right on Otto's head.The frame and the picture were put on Otto's neck like a collar.Then Alexis lifted Otto, man and frame, and threw him into the creek. He floats away! my knight! He floats away! I could see him floating down the stream, across the grass, with his face up!It is full of deep expressions of resignation to fate.

Then Alexis came to me and he took me in his arms and carried me across the grass - he was so tall and strong - and whispered to me that he loved me and that from tomorrow on he would To protect me from the world.In this way, he carried me through the grass and flowers and came to our house.There was my father, Ivan Ivanovich, and my mother, Katusha Katusavitch.And I'm going to marry him tomorrow.He got my jewelry and my money back from the hotel, and he gave me back the diamond buckle that Otto had taken from my belt. How can I bear this?Alexis is going to take me to Petersburg, he bought a beautiful house there, I will live there with him, we will be rich, I will be taken to Nikolai Romanov and His wife's palace is in the limelight.oh!Isn't it scary?

The only thing I had time to think about was Otto, floating down the current with a frame around his neck.From that little river he will float into the Dnieper, from the Dnieper he will float into the Bagh, from the Bagh he will float into the Volga, and from the Volga he will float into the Caspian Sea.At the Caspian Sea there is no way out, and Otto will be there forever and ever in circles. Isn't that scary? The sixth series of strangers I was sitting there by myself when he walked into the smoking room of the sleeping car. He wore a fur-lined overcoat and carried a small suitcase worth fifty dollars.He put the suitcase on the seat as soon as he came in.

Then he saw me. "Ah! Aah!" he said blissfully, as if he knew me. "Ah! Aah!" I accosted. "My God! Who would have expected to meet you here?" he said, shaking my hand vigorously. "No one can think of it." I thought to myself. He studied me more closely. "You haven't changed at all," he said. "Neither have you," I said enthusiastically. "You may have gained a little weight," he went on to comment. "It's a little fatter, but you're also a little bit blessed." I said. That would help even out the two sides, and my weight gain would be nothing.

"No," I then ventured to say with certainty, "you look exactly the same as ever." Meanwhile, I've been wondering who this person is.I don't know him at all; I can't remember who he is at all.It's not that my memory is bad, on the contrary, it's pretty good.Indeed, I find it difficult to remember people's names.I often can't remember other people's faces, I can't remember what they look like, and of course I don't pay attention to the clothes they wear.But beyond those details I never forgot anyone, and I'm proud of it.But I'm never at a loss if there's someone whose name or face I can't immediately recall.I know how to deal with this embarrassing situation.All it takes is calm and resourcefulness, and with those two things you can handle anything.

My friend sat down. "We haven't seen each other for a long time," he said. "It's been a long time," I replied, with a hint of sentimentality in my tone.I wanted him to feel that I was sad about it too. "Time flies so fast." "It's gone in the blink of an eye." I readily agreed. "It's unbelievable," he said, "how the years go by and friends lose touch, it's like a lifetime away! I'm always saddened by it. Sometimes I wonder: where are all the old guys?" "Me too," I said.I'm actually thinking the same question right now.I've found that sooner or later on such occasions people say "those old boys," "those lads," or "those guys," and that's the chance to figure out exactly who the other person is. "Have you ever been to our old place?" he asked. "Never." I said unequivocally.Absolutely not sloppy.I feel that this issue must never be touched again until I figure out where the "old place" is. "Really?" he went on, "I guess you don't really want to go there?" "Not now." I said carefully. "I understand how you feel, I'm sorry," he said, and was silent for a while. So far I have finally passed the first level.Some old place I don't really want to go to apparently exists.This can be used as a basis for conversation. Soon he spoke again. "Yeah," said he, "sometimes I run into an old chap or two, and they all talk about you, and wonder what you've been up to." "Poor fellow," I thought to myself, but I didn't say it. I knew it was time for a quick blow, so I resorted to the old trick I used to use in the past.I launched the offensive with great interest. "Hi!" I said. "Where's Billy now? Have you heard anything about him?" This trick is foolproof.In any gang of old folks there's going to be a guy named Billy. "He," said my friend, "of course I hear he's running a farm in Montana. I saw him in Chicago last spring--weighed like two hundred pounds--you couldn't recognize him." he came." "Of course I don't recognize it." I murmured to myself. "So where's Pete?" I asked again.This is also very safe.There's always someone named Pat. "You mean Billy's brother," he said. "Yes, yes, Billy's brother Pat, I think of him often." "Oh," said the stranger, "old Pater's quite a different man now--all honest." Here he began to laugh. "Why, Pater's married!" I also started laughing.In such circumstances it is always ridiculous to say that a person is married.Whoever old Pate was, the fact that he was married was ridiculous.Just thinking about it makes me laugh and laugh silently.I wish I could keep laughing until the train stopped.I only have fifty miles to go.It's not too difficult to laugh for fifty miles if you know how to laugh. But my friend was not willing to stop there. "I have often thought of writing to you," he said, in a tone of confidence, "especially when I hear of your loss." I didn't say anything.What have I lost?Is it money?If yes, how much money did I lose?Why did I lose money?I don't know whether this so-called loss made me completely bankrupt or only partially bankrupt. "A loss like that is never forgotten," he went on gravely. Apparently I was completely broke.But I didn't say anything, just waiting for him to show his cards. "Yes," continued the man, "it's always a sad thing to die." Dead people!Oh, so that's what happened, isn't it?I almost hiccupped with joy.That's easy.In such a conversation it is easiest to deal with the subject of the dead.You just sit there without saying a word, waiting for the other person to say who died. "Yeah," I muttered, "it's kind of sad. But there's a reassuring side to it, too." "Of course, especially at such an age." "Live to that age and live that life, as you say." "I think it's all pretty tough and sober in the end," he went on sympathetically. "Yes," I replied, confident now, "to sit up in bed and smoke in the last few days before I died." "What?" He was confused, if your grandma—" my grandma!It turned out to be like this, alas! "I'm sorry," I said, a little mad at myself for being so stupid, "when I said smoking, I meant she could sit up and have people smoke at her, and she had this habit of having people read to her, Asking someone to blow smoke at her - as if that's the only way to calm her down -" As I said this, I heard the train passing the signal lights and the creak of the switch gates, and the train came to a slow stop. My friend took a quick look out the car window. His face was a little manic. "Oh my God!" he said. "It's the junction. I'm overboard. I should have gotten off at the previous stop. Hey, steward," he called into the aisle, "here we are. How long did you stop?" "Only two minutes, sir," answered a voice, "the train is late, and is in a hurry." My friend jumped to his feet, produced a large handful of keys, and fumbled in the lock of the valise. "I've got to call home," he said breathlessly, "that damned lock, all my money is locked in there." My only concern at this moment is that he won't get out of the car in time to make a phone call. "I have it here," I said, taking out a stack of banknotes from my pocket, "don't bother with the lock. Use it first." "Thank you." He grabbed the stack of banknotes in my hand - in the rush, he didn't leave me a single one. "I barely made it in time." He jumped off the train.I saw him through the car window walking towards the waiting room.He doesn't seem to be walking fast. I wait for his return. The steward was calling: "Come on! Come on!" Then there was a bell and a hiss of steam, and in an instant the train was moving. "Idiot," I thought, "he missed the train." His fifty-dollar suitcase was still lying on the seat. I waited and looked out the window, wondering who the hell this person was. Not long after, I heard the flight attendant's voice again.He was evidently leading a person across the carriage. "Sir, I've searched all over the carriage," he said. "I put it on the seat behind my wife in that car." A stranger's voice came over.A well-dressed man poked his head into the private room where I was. He immediately beamed, as if he recognized something.But what he recognized was not me, but the small suitcase worth fifty yuan. "Oh, here it is," he cried, and he snatched the suitcase and lifted it out. I slumped on the seat. "Old boy"!Pete's marriage!My grandmother's death!OMG!my money!I now fully understand that the guy was "talking for the sake of talking" and had ulterior motives! Fooled it! The next time I strike up a conversation with someone I just passed by on a train, I'll never be so smart again.