Chapter 36 Indonesian Stories (35)

(Indonesia's fertility rate has indeed been declining recently, due to a recently implemented contraceptive incentive program: the government promised to provide a new motorcycle to every man who voluntarily undergoes a sterilization operation... although I can't imagine that these men have to be in " The same day as the surgery "ride home on a new bike.) "Sex is fun." The eldest sister said thoughtfully, watching me grinning in pain and drinking her homemade decoction. "Yes, sister, thank you, it is very pleasant." "No, sex is really fun," she continued, "to make people do fun things. That's how everyone falls in love at first. Want more pleasure, too much fun until you make yourself sick .Even Big Sister, it happened at the very beginning of the love story, lost balance."

"I'm ashamed," I said. "No," she said, and then she added, in perfect English (and perfect Balinese logic), "sometimes being out of balance for love is what leads a balanced life." I decided to call Felipe.I have some antibiotics at home in case I need them while traveling.I've had this infection in the past and know how serious it is, it could even lead to the kidneys.I don't want to go through this in Indonesia.So I called him, told him what had happened (he was deeply guilty) and asked him to bring me the medicine.It's not that I don't trust my elder sister's medical skills, it's just that this pain is not a joke...

"You don't need western medicine," she said. "But maybe it's better, just in case..." "Wait another two hours," she said, "and if it doesn't improve, take your own medicine." I reluctantly agree.My experience with this infection is that it can take a few days to go away, even with strong antibiotics.But I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Tutti was playing in the shop, and she kept coming over to amuse me with little pictures of houses she had drawn, patting my hand with the sympathy of an eight-year-old. "Mama Elizabeth sick?" At least she didn't know what I did to get sick.

"Sister, did you buy the house?" I asked. "Not yet, honey. No rush." "What about that place you like? I thought you wanted to buy it?" "It's not on sale there. It's too expensive." "Do you have other places in mind?" "Don't worry about it now, Lily. For now, let me get you well soon." Felipe brought my medicine, with a look of remorse, apologizing to me and my eldest sister for making me suffer (at least that was his opinion). "It's not serious," said the eldest sister, "don't worry. I'll be right soon, and she'll be fine soon."

Then she went to the kitchen and brought out a huge glass bowl filled with leaves, roots, berries, turmeric, a clump of what looked like a witch's hair, and what I thought was a newt's eye...all floating In the original brown juice.There's about a gallon of this stuff in the bowl, and it stinks like a corpse. "Drink it, dear," said the eldest sister, "drink it all." I swallowed it down.In less than two hours... well, we all know how it ends.Within two hours, I was fine and completely healed.All the infections that had to be treated with western antibiotics for a few days disappeared.I wanted to pay her for my medical treatment, but she just laughed and said, "My sister doesn't need to pay." Then she turned to Felipe and said with mock sternness, "You have to be careful now. She. I can only sleep tonight, and you are not allowed to touch her."

"Healing people with these sexual problems without embarrassing you?" I asked my sister. "Lily, I'm a therapist. I treat everything, women's vaginas, men's bananas. Sometimes I even make dildos for women so they can have sex alone." "Disease?" I asked in surprise. "Lily, not everyone has a Brazilian boyfriend," she reminded.Then she looked at Felipe and said cheerfully, "If you need help hardening your bananas, I can give you medicine." I hastened to assure my sister that Felipe's bananas didn't need any help, but he, always business-minded, interrupted me to ask if the banana-hardening treatment could be bottled. "It will make us a lot of money," he said.But she said that was not the case.All of her medicines need to be freshly made daily to work, and must be done in conjunction with her prayers.In any case, she says, pills aren't the only way she gets her man bananas hard, and massage can do the trick, too.We then listened in amazement as she described the various massages she had done for the banana that men don't lift, how she grabbed the bottom end of the thing and shook it for an hour to stimulate blood flow while saying special prayers.

I asked: "But sister--in case a man comes back to the store every day and says: "It's not cured, doctor!Need another banana massage! "So what?" The silly idea made her laugh, and she admitted that she had to be careful not to spend too much time curing men's bananas, because it created a certain level of... strong feeling in her... She thought It's not good for medical energy and it does throw men out of control sometimes. (If you haven't lifted for years, and suddenly this dark-haired brunette starts your engine running again, you'll be out of control, too.) She says a man jumped up during a session and started Chase her around the room and say, "I need a big sister! I need a big sister!"