Chapter 27 Indonesian Stories (26)

"It's not surprising," said Felipe, "you were young and stupid. Only young, stupid people feel confident about sex and romance. Do you think any of us know what we're doing? You think humans have a way Loving each other simply and uncomplicated? You should see what happened in Bali sweetheart. These western men come here after making a mess of their lives at home and decide they've had enough of western women and marry a Petite, sweet, obedient Balinese girls. I understand their thinking. They think that this kind of beautiful girl can make them happy and let them live a comfortable and comfortable life. But every time I see this kind of thing, I always want to say The same words "good luck". Because, my friend, there is still a woman in front of you. And you are still a man. Two people still have to try to get along, so it will definitely get complicated. And love It's always complicated. But humans have to try to love each other, sweetheart. We have to have our hearts broken sometimes. A broken heart is a good sign. It means we're trying our best."

I said, "The last time I had a serious heartbreak, it still hurts. Isn't that ridiculous? It's been almost two years since the love story ended, and still feel heartbroken?" "Honey, I'm from southern Brazil. I can break my heart for ten years for a woman I've never kissed." We talked about our respective marriages, our respective divorce stories.Not whining, but sympathy, comparing each other to the bottomless abyss of post-divorce depression.We sip wine, eat food, and tell each other beautiful stories about our ex-husbands or ex-wives in our memories, so that the entire conversation about the loss process can be less lethal.

He said, "Do you want to do something with me this weekend?" I said yes, that would be great.Because that's really good. Twice now, when Felipe dropped me off the driveway in front of my house goodnight, he leaned over to give me a bedtime kiss, and I've done the same thing twice - letting myself be pulled by him , but at the last moment lowered his head, put his cheek against his chest, and let him hold me for a moment.Lasted longer than just a friendly gesture.I feel his face against my hair, my face against his breastbone.I smell his soft linen shirt.I really like his taste.His arms are strong and his chest is broad.He was a gymnastics champion in Brazil.Of course that was 1969, the year I was born, but his body still felt strong.

Whenever he reached out, I lowered my head like this. This is a kind of avoidance-I am avoiding a simple kiss before going to bed, but at the same time it is a kind of non-avoidance.Having him put his arm around me in the long silent moments at the end of the night is me letting myself be held. It's been a while since this happened. I asked my old pharmacist Lai Ye. "How much do you know about talking about love?" He said, "What is talking about love?" "Don't take it to heart." "Please tell me, what does it mean to talk about love?" "Falling is," I explained, "a man and a woman in love. Or sometimes a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. Kissing, sex and marriage—that stuff."

"I haven't had sex with too many people in my life, Lily. Just my wife." "You're right—there aren't many people. But do you mean Mrs. 1 or Mrs. 2?" "I have only one wife, Lily. She is dead." "Where's Miohm?" "Miohm is not my wife, Lily. She is my brother's wife." Seeing my confused face, he added, "This is very common in Bali," he said.Grandpa Lai's older brother is a rice farmer who lives next door to Grandpa Lai and married Mi Ohm.Together they had three children.But Lai Ye and his wife were unable to have children, so they adopted a son of Lai Ye's elder brother to continue the incense.After Lai Ye's wife passed away, Mi-ohm began to live in two houses, dividing her time between the two families, taking care of her husband and her husband's younger brother, and taking care of the children of the two families.As far as Balinese people are concerned, she is totally Lai Ye's wife (cooking, cleaning, tending to the religious ceremonies of the family), except that they don't have sex.

"Why not?" I asked. "Too old!" he said.Then he called Mi-ohm over and relayed the question to her, telling her that the American lady wanted to know why they weren't having sex.This thought almost made Miohm laugh out loud.She also came over and hit me hard on the arm. "I have only one wife," Lai continued, "and she has passed away." "Do you miss her?" He smiled sadly. "Her time has come. I'll tell you how I met my wife. I met a girl when I was twenty-seven and fell in love with her." "What year was that?" I asked, desperate to know his age as usual.