Chapter 16 four, five, six

Four Autumn is here.Elliott decided to go to Paris to live for a while, partly to see how Isabel, Gray and the two children were doing, and partly, as he said, to acte de presence in the capital.After that, he was going to London to order some new clothes and visit some old friends along the way.I myself planned to go directly to London, but he invited me to travel with him to Paris by car.It was a comfortable way to go, so I agreed to come down, thinking that I might as well spend at least a few days in Paris.I walked very leisurely along the way, and whenever the food was cooked well, I would stop and rest.Elliott has a kidney problem and only drinks Vichy mineral water, but he always insists on choosing half a bottle of wine for me; Well, feel happy from the bottom of my heart.He was so generous that it took me many words to persuade him to let me pay my share of the room and board.He talked about the big people he knew in the past, which was a bit boring to hear, but the trip was still fun.Most of what we passed was the countryside, and the scenery in early autumn was very gratifying.After lunch at Fontainebleau, we did not arrive in Paris until the afternoon.Elliott dropped me off at my modest old hotel and went around the corner to the Ritz.

We had given Isabel advance notice of our coming, so I was not surprised to see the note she had left me at the hotel, but the content of the note surprised me. Come as soon as you arrive.Something big has happened.Don't bring Uncle Elliot.For God's sake, come at once. I was as eager to find out as anyone else, but I had to wash my face and put on a clean shirt; then I hailed a car and drove to my apartment in Rue Saint-Guillaume.The servant led me into the living room.Isabel stood up immediately. "Where have you been all day? I've been waiting for you for hours." It was five o'clock, and before I could answer, the butler had already brought in the tea.Isabel clenched her hands tightly, watching the butler set the tea set impatiently.I can't imagine what's going on.

"I've just arrived. We've been taking too long to lunch at Fontainebleau." "My God, how slow he is. It's driving mad!" said Isabelle. The butler put the tray with the teapot on the table, the sugar bowl and teacups on the table, and then, with a truly annoying serenity, placed around the table pots of bread, butter, cake, and biscuits.When he went out, he closed the door behind him. "Larry is marrying Sophie McDonald." "Who is she?" "Don't be so stupid," cried Isabel, with a gleam in her eyes. "That drunk whore we ran into in that sleazy café you took us to. God knows why you took us there. Gray's got it all."

"Oh, you mean that Chicago friend of yours?" I said, ignoring her unjust rebuke. "How did you know?" "Why should I know? He came and told me himself yesterday afternoon. I've been annoyed ever since." "Why don't you sit down, pour me a cup of tea, and tell me everything." "You pour it yourself." She sat across the tea table, watching me impatiently as I poured tea for myself.I settled down comfortably on a small couch near the fireplace. "We haven't seen him much lately, I mean, since we came back from Dinard; he went to Dinard for a few days, but refused to stay with us, in a hotel. He often Come down to the beach and play with the two kids. The kids loved him like hell. We went to play golf in St. Briac. Gray asked him one day if he'd seen Sophie afterward.

"'See you, see you several times,' he said. "'Why,' I asked. "'She's an old friend,' he said. "'I'd never waste time with her if I were you,' I said. "He smiled a little. You know the way he laughs, as if he thinks what you're saying is funny, but, really, it's not funny at all. "'But you're not me,' he said. "I shrugged my shoulders and moved on to something else. I never thought about it again. You can imagine my shock when he came up here and told me they were getting married. "'You can't, Larry,' I said. 'You can't.'" 'I'm going to marry her,' he said nonchalantly, as if he wanted some more potatoes.

'And I want you to treat her well, Isabel. '"'That's too much to ask,' I said. Called crazy. She's bad, bad, bad.'" "Why do you think that?" I interrupted her. Isabelle looked at me with fire in her eyes. "She gets drunk from morning to night. She sleeps with any rascal who wants to sleep with her." "That doesn't mean she's a bad person. Quite a few respectable people drink too much, and do nasty things. Those are bad habits, like nail-biting, and you can only go so far. I think, Those who lie, cheat, and are cruel are the real bad guys."

"If you side with her, I will kill you." "How did Larry meet her again?" "He found her address in the phone book. He went to see her. She was sick, which was no surprise, that's the kind of life she lived. He got a doctor for her and someone to attend to her. That's how the relationship started. Yes. Larry says she's quit drinking; the fool thinks she's cured." "You remember Larry taking Gray's headache? Didn't he cure him?" "That's different. Gray wants to be cured. She doesn't." "how do you know?"

"Because I understand women. When a woman falls like her, it's over; there's never going back. The reason Sophie has fallen like this is because she has always been that kind of person.Do you think she'll be with Larry forever?of course not.Sooner or later, he will still fall apart.She was born with a bad nature.What she likes are hooligans, this kind of person can stimulate her, and this is the kind of person she is looking for.She'd mess up Larry's life. " "It seems very likely, but I don't see how you can think of it. He didn't do it in a daze."

"I can't help it, but you can." "I?" "Larry likes you, he'll listen to you. You're the only one who can influence him. You've seen a lot. You go to him and tell him not to do such a stupid thing.Tell him it will destroy him. " "He would just flat out tell me it's none of my business, and he's absolutely right to say that." "But, you like him, at least you are interested in him, you can't just stand by and watch him mess up your life." "Gray was his best friend and first known. I'm not saying that's going to help, though.

I think Gray is best for talking to Larry. " "Grey, huh," she said, impatiently. "You know, things are not as bad as you think. I have two or three friends, one in Spain and two in the East, and they all married prostitutes as wives, and the family got on well. They all thanked their husbands , I mean they have been given security in life, and of course they all know how to please men." "You're so wordy. Do you think I'm sacrificing myself just to have Larry in the hands of some crazy slut?" "How did you sacrifice yourself?" "The only reason I gave up on Larry was because I didn't want to affect his future."

"Fuck you, Isabel. You gave up Larry for baguette diamonds and mink coats." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, a plate of buttered bread flew towards my head.Fortunately, I caught the plate, but the bread and butter fell to the floor.I stood up and put the plate back on the table. "Uncle Elliot won't thank you for breaking one of his crown derby discs. These were fired for the third Duke of Dorset, and they are almost priceless." "Pick up the bread and butter," she said angrily. "Pick it up yourself," I said, leaning back on the couch. She stood up, angry, and picked up the bread and butter that had been scattered on the floor. "You call yourself an English gentleman," she said viciously. "No, I've never done this in my life." "Get out. I don't want to see you again. I'm disgusted by the way you look." "I am sorry, because your appearance has always pleased me. But you have been told that your nose is exactly the same as that of the Psyche statue in the Naples museum. This statue is the best surviving representation of girlish beauty. Your legs are beautiful, long and lined, and I am always amazed when I see them, because when you were a girl your legs were thick and uneven. I can't imagine how you did it." "By strength of will and the grace of God," she said furiously. "But your hands are, of course, your most alluring feature. They are so slender." "I get the impression that my hands seem too big to you." "For your body, it's not too big. You use your hands very beautifully, and I am very impressed. Whether it is made by nature or man-made, in short, every movement of your hands always gives people a sense of beauty. They are sometimes like flowers, sometimes like birds. They are more expressive than any language. They are like those hands in the portrait of El Greco; When I picked it up, I thought of Elliott's nonsense that one of your ancestors was a Spanish nobleman, maybe it made sense." She raised her head, looking resentful. "What are you talking about? This is the first time I've heard it." I told her about de Lauria's marriage to Queen Marie's concubine, which Elliott traced back from the maternal line.As Isabel listened, she looked at her long fingers and trimmed and painted nails with peace of mind. "People are always descendants of someone," she said, and then she laughed lightly, and looked at me playfully, her resentment was gone. "You son of a bitch," she said again. A woman, you can easily make her reason by telling her the truth. "Sometimes, I don't really hate you that much," said Isabel. She came up to me, sat down on the couch, wrapped her arms around mine, and leaned out to kiss me. I avoid my cheeks. "I don't want lipstick on my face," I said. "If you want to kiss me, kiss me on the mouth, which is the place appointed by the merciful God." She giggled, and turned my head to hers with her hands, her lips imprinting a thin line of red color on mine. That taste is very good. "Now that you've said so, perhaps you can tell me what you intend." "I want your idea." "I'm willing to give it to you, but I dare say you can't accept it for a while. You can only do one thing, which is to do what you can." Angry again, she stretched her arms, stood up, and sank down on a sofa beyond the fireplace. "I don't want to see Larry ruin himself. I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep Larry from marrying that bitch." "You won't succeed. You know, he was captivated by one of the strongest and most moving emotions." "Do you think he is really in love with her?" "No. Love is insignificant compared with this emotion." "what?" "Have you read the New Testament?" "Finally read it." "Do you remember how Christ was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness and fasted for forty days? At that time, he was hungry, and the devil came to him and said to him: If you are the Son of God, command these stones to be turned into bread. But , Christ rejected his temptation. Later, the devil taught Christ to stand on the top of the temple, and said to Christ: If you are the Son of God, jump off. Because the angels are commanded to take care of you and will carry you up. However, Christ refused again .Later the devil took him up a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world, saying that if you fall down and worship me, I will give you all these. But Christ said: Go away, Satan. According to the good heart Simple Matthew’s record, this is the end of the story. However, the story is not over. The devil is very cunning, he came to Christ again, and said to him: If you are willing to accept shame, whipping, and wear a crown of thorns, let They crucified you, and you will save mankind, for the greatest love a man can show is to lay down his life for his friends. Christ is caught. The devil laughs until his stomach hurts, because he knows The Huanren will do bad things in the name of atonement for mankind." Isabel looked at me angrily. "Where did you hear that?" "Nowhere. I made it up on the spur of the moment." "I find the story silly and sacrilegious." "I just want to point out to you that self-sacrifice is the overriding emotion, compared with which lust and hunger are insignificant. It gives man the highest opinion of his own personality and drives him to his ruin. No matter who he is. relationship; worthy or unworthy. There is no wine so intoxicating, no love so destructive, no crime so irresistible. When he sacrifices himself, man becomes instantly more God is greater, because God is infinite and omnipotent, how can he sacrifice himself? At most he can only sacrifice his only son." "My God, you're such a nag," said Isabel. I ignore her. "Would it have any effect on Larry if you tried to tell him the usual reasoning, or advise him to be careful, when he was gripped by this emotion? You don't know what he's been chasing all these years. Neither do I. Know, I'm just guessing. But all these years of hard work, all these years of accumulated experience, are now no match for his desire—ah, more than desire, an urgent, hungry oppression: to save an innocent woman he used to know The soul of a child who is now a slut.I think you're right, I think he's doing a hopeless thing; with his sensitivity, he's going to suffer like a damned man; his life's work, whatever it is, will never Can't finish.Poor Paris shot Achilles in the heel with an arrow and killed him. [Note] Larry just lacks this bit of viciousness, and this bit of viciousness is indispensable for the saints to achieve positive results. " "I love him," said Isabel. "God knows, I don't ask for anything from him. I don't expect anything from him. No one loves him as unselfishly as I love him. It's a hard time for him down here." She started to cry.I thought it would be good for her to cry, so I didn't discourage it.I pass the time with an idea that pops into my head by accident.One is thinking about playing.I dare to assert that the devil must be satisfied with this account after witnessing the cruel wars provoked by Christianity, the persecution and punishment, cruelty, hypocrisy, and intolerance that believers inflicted on believers.And when he thought that Christianity had burdened mankind with a painful burden of primordial sin, darkened the beautiful starry sky, and cast an evil shadow over the world's pleasures, he would chuckle, Muttering: deserve this retribution, this ghost. After a while, Isabel took out a handkerchief and a mirror from her handbag, looked at herself, and carefully pointed to the corners of her eyes. "You're fucking sympathetic, aren't you?" she said bitterly. I looked at her thoughtfully, but didn't answer.She powdered her face and put on lipstick. "You said you guessed what he's been after all these years. What do you mean?" "I can only guess, I tell you, and I might be quite wrong. I think he was looking for a philosophy, maybe a religion, a code of life that would give him peace of mind and body." Isabelle took my words into consideration and sighed. "Don't you think it's odd that a country kid from Mafen, Illinois should think like that?" "Rud Burbank was born on a farm in Massachusetts and would grow a seedless orange. Henry Ford was born on a farm in Michigan and would invent a car. Larry was no more strangeness." "But those are practical things. It's within the American tradition." I laughed. "Is there anything more practical in the world than learning to live your best life?" Isabel made a listless gesture. "What do you want me to do?" "You don't want to lose Larry completely, do you?" She nods. [Note] "You know Larry is very faithful: if you ignore his wife, he will ignore you. If you have sense, you have to make friends with Sophie. You have to forget the past, when you can Try to be as nice as possible to her. She's getting married, and I think she's going to buy some clothes. Why don't you offer to go shopping with her. I think she'll be overjoyed." Isabel narrowed her eyes and listened to me.She seemed to be paying attention to what I said.For a moment she was thinking, but I couldn't guess what was going on in her head.Then she surprised me. "Will you invite her to lunch? It's rather embarrassing for me to ask after the episode I gave Larry yesterday." "If I invite you, will you follow the rules?" "Like an angel of light," she replied with her most charming smile. "I'll make it right away." There is a telephone in the house.I quickly looked up Sophie's number; after the usual delay - patience, anyone with a French phone - I connected her.Signed up by myself. "I just arrived in Paris," I said, "and I heard that you and Larry are getting married. I congratulate you. I hope you have a very happy life." Twist it so hard I almost screamed out. "I'm only in Paris for a short time. I wonder if you and Larry can join me for lunch at the Ritz the day after tomorrow. I'm also going to ask Gray, Isabelle, and Elliott to talk about Borden." "Let me ask Larry. He's right here." There was a pause. "Okay, we're happy to come." I set a time, said a polite word, and put down the earphones.Then I caught a glimpse of an expression in Isabel's eyes that made me uneasy. "What are you thinking?" I asked her. "I don't like the look on your face much." "I'm sorry; I thought that was where you really liked me." "Have you got some bad idea in your stomach, Isabel?" How wide her eyes are. "No, I assure you. In fact, I'm anxious to see what Larry looks like after he's converted Sophie. I just hope she doesn't get rouge and pollen all over her face when she comes to the Ritz." Fives My little party is not going well.Gray and Isabel first; Larry and Sophie MacDonald five minutes later.Isabel and Sophie kiss each other affectionately, and Isabel and Gray congratulate her again on her engagement.I catch Isabel's eyes taking a quick look at Sophie's appearance.Sophie's appearance surprised me.When I saw her before in that sleazy café on the Rue Labai, she was powdered, her hair dyed a reddish-brown, she wore a bright green dress, and though she looked dissolute and drunk, she had something However, now, she looks very shabby, although she must be a year or two younger than Isabel, but she looks much older than her.His head was still raised proudly like last time, but for some reason, he looked pitiful.She had gotten her hair back to its original color, and the dyed hair and the new growth looked scruffy.Except for the red lips, there is no makeup on the face.The skin is rough and has an unhealthy pallor.I remember her eyes were bright green, but now they are dull and dull.I'm wearing a red dress, obviously new, with a matching hat, shoes and handbag; I don't pretend to know how a woman should dress, but I always find it a bit harsh, and a bit too much for today's occasion Pay attention.On his chest was a striking piece of artificial gemstone jewelry, the kind people buy in Rue Leoli.Compared with Isabel, who wore a black silk dress, a necklace of cultured beads, and a fine hat, Sophie looked humble, let alone pompous. I ordered a cocktail, but both Larry and Sophie refused.Then Elliott came.However, when he walked through the vast hall, he was stopped by acquaintances one after another, holding hands with one and kissing that of another.He acted as if the Ritz was in his house and he was thanking his guests for their presence. We kept everything from him except that Sophie had lost her husband and child in a car accident and was marrying Larry.When he finally came up to us, he did what he does best and congratulated the betrothed couple with style.We all went into the dining room together; since we were four men and two women, I asked Isabel and Sophie to sit opposite each other at a round table, with Gray and me sitting beside Sophie.The table is small so everyone can hear the conversation.I've pre-ordered lunch, and the bartender is here to bring the wine list. Elliott said, "Dude, you're no good at wine. Albert, give me the wine list," he said, turning over the list. "I only drink mineral water myself, but I can't tolerate other people drinking inferior wine." He was old friends with Albert the waiter.After a lively discussion, the two decided what wine I should order for the guests.Then he turned to Sophie. "Where are you going to spend your honeymoon, dear?" He glanced at her dress and raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly, which made me see that he didn't like it. "We're going to Greece." "I've wanted to go to Greece for ten years," said Larry, "but, for some reason, I just can't." "This season is supposed to be the most beautiful," said Isabel, with enthusiasm. She remembered, and I remember, that when Larry was going to marry her, it was Greece that he proposed to take her with.For Larry, a honeymoon in Greece seemed to have become a fixture. The conversation did not go so easily, and if it were not for Isabel's fault, my host would have found it difficult.She is doing very well.Whenever the speech threatened to break off, and I was trying to find a new topic to talk about, she would interject light words.This makes me very grateful.Sophie hardly spoke much, and only managed a few words when she was being talked to.She was unimpressed.You'd say the man's half dead; I'm wondering if Larry's restraining her too much for her to bear.I figured she was not only drinking but also doing drugs; if that was true, getting rid of them all at once would break her down.Sometimes, I caught a glimpse of them looking at each other.Larry's expression contained tenderness and encouragement, and Sophie's expression contained pleading, which made people feel compassionate. Grey, being of good nature, probably sensed instinctively what I was guessing, so he told Sophie how Larry had cured the headache that had made him a cripple, and then told her how he couldn't live without Larry and was grateful to him. . "Now I'm not sick at all," he continued. "As long as I find a job one day, I will start working again. Now I have a few things in discussion, and I hope to finalize them soon. Shhh, it's really fun to go back to China." Gray meant it all with the best of intentions, but perhaps his words were not very strategic; for as far as I'm concerned, Larry may have used the same suggestion that he had cured Gray (in my case) to cure Sophie of her alcoholism. See, that's how it works). "Aren't you having any headaches now, Gray?" Elliott asked. "None in three months; if I feel it coming, I grab my talisman right away and I'm all right," he said, pulling from his pocket the old coin Larry had given him. . "This is my priceless treasure." Lunch is over, coffee is served.The wine waiter came over and asked if he would like some sweet wine[Note].We all said no, only Gray said he wanted a brandy.When the bottle was brought, Elliot insisted on seeing what brand it was. "Okay, I think it's drinkable. It won't do you any harm." "Would you like a small glass?" asked the waiter. "Oh, I'm abstaining from alcohol now." Elliott told the waiter in detail that he had something wrong with his waist and the doctor did not allow him to drink. "You'll be fine with a little Subro Voga. It's famous for lower back pain. We've just had a shipment from Poland." "Really? It's a rare wine these days. Show me the bottle." The wine waiter, a large, pompous fellow with a long silver necklace around his neck, ran to fetch the bottle.Eliot explained to us that it was a vodka made in Poland, but in many ways superior to vodka. "I drank it a lot when I lived at Radziwells' house and went hunting. You should have seen the princes of Poland drink it like that; drink it in mugs, and don't make a fuss, I say. There is no exaggeration in the slightest. Of course they are all golden branches and jade leaves; every action is completely aristocratic. You must taste this wine, Sophie; The wine waiter brought the bottle.Larry, Sophie and I all said no, but Isabel said she would try.I was surprised because she usually drank very little, but today she had already had two cocktails and two or three glasses of wine.The waiter poured a small glass of pale green liqueur, and Isabel picked it up to smell it. "Oh, how fragrant it is!" "Isn't it?" Elliott said. "The smell is from a herb soaked in it; that's why the wine tastes good. I'll drink a little with you, too. It won't do me any harm once in a while." "It's delicious," said Isabel. "Like nectar. I never drank such fine wine." Elliot raised the glass to his lips. "Well, this drink reminds me of the old days. You people who never lived at the Radziwells' don't know what life is. It was a big scene. A feudal scene, you know? You just feel like You feel like you are in the middle ages. You are picked up at the station by a coach of six horses, with a charioteer on horseback. At dinner, there is a liveried manservant standing behind everyone." He went on to describe the splendor of the house, and the splendor of the banquets; and I was suddenly suspicious—insignificant, of course—as if the whole matter had been arranged between Elliott and the waiter. , let Elliott take this opportunity to talk a lot about the pomp and pomp of the three clans, and the whole bunch of Polish aristocrats he met when he was a guest at their castle.It was impossible to stop him from talking. "Another drink, Isabel?" "Oh, I dare not come. But the wine is so pretty. I'm glad to know it's available; Gray, we'll have to try and get some bottles." "I asked them to send a few bottles to the apartment." "Well, Uncle Elliot, will you?" said Isabel eagerly. "You've been so kind to us, Gray, you must taste it; it tastes like fresh-cut straw and spring flowers, like thyme and lavender, and tastes mild and pleasant, as in moonlight listen to music." This kind of nonsense is not like Isabel's behavior. I wonder if she is a little drunk.The feast was over, and I shook hands with Sophie to say good-bye. "When are you getting married?" I asked her. "Next week. I want you to come to the wedding." "I'm afraid I wasn't in Paris then. I'm going to London to-morrow." Isabel took Sophie aside as I was saying good-bye to the other customers, and after a few words with her, she turned to Gray and said, "Oh, Gray. I'll wait till I get back. There's a fashion show, and I'm going to take Sophie to see it. She ought to see the latest fashions." "I'd love to," Sophie said. we broke up.I took Suzanne Rouvier to dinner that night and left for England the next morning. six Elliott arrived at the Claridge's a fortnight later; I stopped by to see him shortly thereafter.He has ordered a few suits for himself, and has taken some trouble to tell me in detail what materials he chose and why.When I was finally able to chime in, I asked him how Larry's wedding was going. "It didn't take place," he said coldly. "What do you mean by that?" "Three days before the wedding, Sophie disappeared. Larry looked for her everywhere." "What a strange thing! Did they quarrel?" "No. Not at all. Everything's ready. I'm also in the role of handing over the bride to the groom. They're going to take the Orient Express right after the wedding. You ask me now, and I don't think Larry is doing it right. .” I suppose Isabel has told him everything. "What happened?" I asked. "Well, you remember Isabel took Sophie up to Molino the day after you invited us to lunch at the Ritz. Do you remember that dress she was wearing?It's not like that.Did you notice the two shoulders?Whether a piece of clothing is well cut or not, you only need to see whether the shoulders fit or not.Of course, poor child, Morinor's price is beyond her reach, but, Isabel, you know she is very generous, and Isabel intends to give her a dress, so that she will at least be married when she is married. A decent dress to wear for a day.Anyway, to make a long story short, one day Isabel asked Sophie to come up to her apartment at three o'clock to go to a dress shop for final samples.Sophie came, but unfortunately Isabel had to take the two children to the dentist and didn't get home until four o'clock, and Sophie had gone by then. Isabel thought she was getting impatient, and went to Morinor herself.She went at once to Morino, but Sophie did not come.Finally, she had to give up and rush home by herself.They were going to dine together in the evening; when Larry came for dinner, the first thing Isabel asked him was where Sophie was. "He didn't know why, so he called her apartment, but there was no answer, so Larry said he was going to find her himself. They put off dinner as long as possible, but neither of them came, so they had to eat it themselves. . Of course you know what Sophie's life was like before you met her at Rue de Labais; it was a very unfortunate event that you took them there.Anyway, Larry scoured all the places she went all night, but couldn't find her anywhere.He went back to her apartment again and again, but the doorman said she never came back.It took him three days to find her whereabouts.She just disappeared.On the fourth day, he went to her apartment again.The porter told him Sophie had returned, packed a bag, called a taxi and went away. " "Is Larry sad?" "I didn't see him. Isabelle told me he was quite upset." "Did she not write or leave any note?" "Nothing at all." I thought about it. "What do you think of the matter?" I said. "Exactly what you think, man. She can't take it; so she's off again." This is clearly the case, but nonetheless, it is very odd.I don't understand why she chose to slip away at this exact moment. "What does Isabel think?" "Of course she is very sad, but she is a sensible woman, so she told me that she thinks Larry will not have good results if he marries this kind of woman." "Where's Larry?" "Isabel was very considerate of him. She said the difficulty was that he wouldn't talk to her about it. He'd recover, you know; Isabel said he was never in love with Sophie, he Marrying her is just out of a kind of abnormal pity." I can imagine Isabelle being very strong when things turned out the way she wanted. I'm sure the next time I see her she'll point out to me that she already knew how it would end. However, I did not see Isabel again until almost a year later; at that time, I could tell Isabel what happened to Sophie, and let her think it over, but, in view of the situation at the time, I didn't want to talk to her. I stayed in London until Christmas and then went straight back to my own house on the Riviera, without stopping in Paris. I started working on a novel, and for the next few months shut the door. Elliott saw each other from time to time. His health was obviously in bad shape, but he persisted in his social life in spite of this, and it was hard to see him. He was very unhappy with me because I refused to come from thirty miles away. Drove in for the regular dinners he continues to throw, thought it was too pretentious for me to like to sit at home and work. "Dude, this season is busier than usual," he told me. "It's a crime to shut yourself up in the house like you do, and not participate in any activities outside. And why you choose to live in that completely outdated part of the Riviera, I can't understand if I live a hundred years .” Poor, sweet, ridiculous Elliott; he obviously won't live to be that old. 到了六月，我的小说初稿已经完成，觉得自己应当休息一下，所以打了一只包，乘上那只夏天常把我们开到福斯湾洗海水浴的单桅帆船，并且沿着海岸向马赛驶去。 由于风时起时歇，所以大部分时间我们都把附装的马达一路上轧轧开着。我们在戛纳港过了一夜，在圣马克昔姆又过了一夜，在萨纳里过了第三夜。后来就到达土伦。 这个海港我对它一直有好感。法国的舰队赋予它一种既浪漫而又亲近的气息，而且在那些老式街道上闲逛，从不使人厌倦。我能够在码头上留连几个钟点不走，看那些上岸休假的水兵一对一对地或者带着女友闲逛，平民来回溜达着，就好象除掉享受欢乐的阳光外，世界上没有其它的事可做似的。由于所有这些船舶和渡船都是把扰攘的人群带往这个大海港的各个据点去，所以，土伦给你的印象是大千世界各种活动的一个终点站。当你坐在一家咖啡馆里，眼睛被天光和海水照耀得有点眼花缭乱时，你的幻想就会将你带往金光灿烂的海角天涯。你坐一条狭长的船在太平洋上一座珊瑚岛上登陆，周围长着椰子树；你走下舷梯，到了仰光的码头上，坐上一部黄包车；你的船向太子港疾驶着，你从上甲板察看那些嘈杂的、做着手势的一群黑人。 帆船在上午较晚时到达。我于下午三点左右上岸，沿着码头走去，看看店铺，看看身边经过的行人，看看坐在咖啡店天篷下面的客人。忽然间，我看见索菲；在同一时候，她也看见了我。她笑着向我招呼。我停下来和她拉手。她一个人靠一张小台子坐着，面前放一只空玻璃杯。 “坐下来喝杯酒，”她说。 “你跟我一同喝一杯，”我说，同时在一张椅子上坐下。 她穿了一件法国水手穿的蓝白条子紧身衣，一条大红裤子，脚上穿的凉鞋，露出涂了趾甲的大足趾。她没有戴帽子，头发剪得短短的而且烫过，淡金色简直近于白银。和我们在拉白路碰见她时一样浓装艳抹。从桌上的盘子可以看出她已经饮过一两杯，不过人还清醒。她对我的态度还算亲热。 “巴黎的那些人好吗？”她问。 “想来都还好。自从那天我们一起在里茨饭店吃午饭之后，我还没有碰见过谁。” 她从鼻孔里喷出一大股烟，大笑起来。 “我总算没有跟拉里结婚。” “我知道。为什么？” “亲爱的，事到临头一想，我觉得我不能让拉里做耶稣基督，我来做抹大拉的马利亚[注]。不行。先生。” “你为什么到最后关头改变了主意？” 她嬉皮笑脸地望着我。头傲然抬起一点，小奶子，狭窄的腰身，加上这身打扮，她看上去简直象个顽童。可是和我上次看见的她一比，穿着那件红衣服，那种又漂亮又多气的使人看了不起劲的派头，不能不说她现在要吸引人得多。脸和脖子都被太阳晒黑了，虽则皮肤的棕色把两颊搽的胭脂，眉毛涂的黑色衬得更加刺眼，但是，这种俗气所产生的效果也有其妩媚的地方。 “要不要我告诉你？” I nod.侍役把我叫的啤酒和她叫的白兰地苏打送过来。她用手里刚吸完的粗丝卷烟燃起另外一支。 “我那时有三个月没有喝过一杯酒。没有抽过一次烟。”她看见我微微吃惊的神情，不禁大笑。“我不是说香烟。是鸦片。我觉得难受之极。你知道，有时候，我一个人时，我简直要把房子叫塌了；我常说，'我支持不下去了，我支持不下去了。'我跟拉里在一起时，还不怎样难受，可是他一不在，那简直是地狱。” 我正在看着她；当她提到鸦片时，我就更加仔细地打量她起来，看出她的瞳孔缩成针眼一样大，这证明她现在还在抽。她的眼珠绿得骇人。 “我的结婚礼服是伊莎贝儿送的。这衣服不知道现在怎样了。真美。我们讲好我来找她，然后一同去摩林诺。这一点我是服帖伊莎贝儿的，她对衣服实在内行。 我到了她的公寓，那个佣人告诉我，他的女主人急急忙忙把琼带去看牙医生了，留下了话，说她即刻就回来。我走进客厅。桌上还放着咖啡壶和杯子，我问那人能不能给我来一杯咖啡。那时我靠着打气的只有咖啡了。他说替我烧点来，同时把吃剩的咖啡壶和杯子拿走，在盘子里留下一瓶酒。我看了一下，原来就是你们大家在里茨饭店谈论的那个波兰玩意儿。 " “苏布罗伏加，我记得艾略特说他要送几瓶给伊莎贝儿的。” “你们全盛夸酒非常之香，引起了我的好奇心。我打开塞子，闻上一闻。你们讲的一点不错；酒闻上去的确他妈的非常之香。我点起一支香烟。过了几分钟，那人把咖啡送进来。咖啡也很好。人们都大夸特夺法国咖啡好，让他们去夺吧；我还是喜欢喝美国咖啡。这是我在法国唯一想念的东西。可是，伊莎贝儿的咖啡烧得不坏，我正感觉无聊，吃了一杯咖啡，人觉得好些。我望望桌上放的那瓶酒。真是馋人呀，可是，我说，滚他妈的蛋，我决不想它，于是又点起一支烟。我想伊莎贝儿就会来了，可是，她并不来；我变得神经非常不宁起来；我最恨等人，而且屋子里没有什么可以翻阅的东西。我在屋子里开始走动起来，看看墙上的画，但是，眼睛始终离不开那个混蛋的酒瓶。后来我想，我只倒一杯出来，看看它。它的颜色确实好看。” “淡绿色。” “对了。怪吧，它的颜色就跟它的味道一样。那种绿色就象你有时候在一朵白玫瑰心子里看见的那样。我非得看看它的味道是不是也是这样不可，我想尝一下对我不会有什么影响；我只打算呷一口，接着，我听见一声响，我当伊莎贝儿来了，就一口把酒喝掉，因为我不愿意被她撞见。但是，伊莎贝儿并没有来。天哪，我自从戒酒以后从来没有觉得这样好受过。我的确开始觉得人又活络起来。那时候，如果伊莎贝儿进来，我想我现在和拉里已经结过婚了。我不懂得那将会是怎样的结果。” “她没有进来吗？” “没有，她没有来。我很生她的气。她是什么了不起的人，叫我这样等她。接着，我看见杯子里酒又满了；我想我一定是无意中把酒斟上，不过，信不信由你，我并不记得我曾经倒过。可是，再把酒倒回去太没有意思了，所以我就把酒喝掉。 没有话说，酒实在太美了。我觉得自己变了个人；觉得自己在大笑，三个月来，我从来没有这样感觉过。你可记得那个老屈死说，他在波兰看见有人用大杯子灌这种酒，但是神色不动吗？哼，我想，一个波兰狗崽子喝得了，我也喝得了，管他妈的索性喝它个痛快，所以我把剩下的咖啡倒在壁炉里，把杯子斟得满满的。什么母亲的奶是天下最美的，完全胡扯。这底下我就记不清楚是怎么一回事，不过，敢说等到我喝得尽兴之后，瓶子里已经所剩无几了。接着，我想到我要在伊莎贝儿进来之前溜掉。她几几乎撞上我。我才走出前门，就听见琼妮[注]的声音。我奔上公寓的楼梯，等她们全都进了自已公寓关上门之后，再奔下来，上了一辆出租汽车。我叫车夫死命地开，他问我上哪儿去，我向他哈哈大笑。人就象成佛成仙一样。 " “你回自己的公寓没有？”我问，明知道她没有回去。 “你把我当作什么样的大傻瓜？我知道拉里会来找我。那些我常去的地方一处也不敢去，所以我去了哈基姆那里。我知道拉里决不会在那里找到我。再者，我还要过一下烟瘾。” “哈基姆是什么地方？” “哈基姆。哈基姆是个阿尔及利亚人，而且只要你付得起钱，总能够替你弄到鸦片。他同我是很要好的朋友。你要什么他都能给你弄到，不管是男孩子，是男人，是女人，或者黑人。他手边总有半打阿尔及利亚人随叫随到。我在那里住了三天。 我不知道搞了多少男人。 ”她开始吃吃笑起来。“各式各样的，和各种肤色的。总算把损失掉的时间捞回来。可是，你知道，我害怕起来了。我觉得在巴黎住下去不安全。我怕拉里会找到我，而且我的钱已经花光，那些狗娘养的，你得付钱，才跟你睡觉，所以，我就出来了，回到公寓里，给看公寓的女人一百法郎，告诉她如果有人来找我，就说我已经离开了。我把行李打好，当晚就坐火车来到土伦。一直到抵达这里之后，我的心才算放了下来。 " “你从此就没有离开吗？” “一点不错，而且我要一直待下去。这儿的鸦片烟要多少有多少。那些水手从东方带来的，上等货色，不是他们在巴黎卖给你的那种烂狗屎。我在旅馆里有一间房间。你知道，商业与航海旅馆。晚上你走进旅馆，过道里全是鸦片烟味。”她放荡地唤一下鼻子。“又香又刺鼻子，你知道客人们就在自己房间里抽，使你有一种亲切之感。他们而且不管你带什么人进来睡觉。早上五点钟时，他们来敲敲你的门，喊那些水手上船去，所以，你只管放心大胆睡觉。”接着，并不改换话题，就说：“我在沿码头的一家铺子里看见一本你的书；早知道要碰见你，我就会买下来，叫你签个名。” 刚才经过书店时，我曾经停下来看看橱窗，注意到在别的新书里面有一本我的小说的法译本，是新近出版的。 “我想，你看了不会觉得好玩的，”我说。 “为什么不？你知道，我是能够看书的。” “而且你还能够写，我相信。” 她迅速地看我一眼，大笑起来。 “哎，我小时候常常写诗。想来一定不象样子，但是，我觉得很好。我想是拉里告诉你的。”她迟疑了一下。“人生反正是他妈的，可是，如果能找些乐儿，而你不去享受，那你就是天大的傻瓜。”她把头挑战性地向后一甩。“我如果买下那本书，你肯在上面写几个字吗？” “我明天就离开。你真要的话，我买一本送你，留在你旅馆里。” "That's great." 就在这时候，一条海军汽艇开到码头上，汽艇里跑出一群水手来。索菲狠狠看了那些水手一眼。 “那是我的男朋友。”她向其中一个挥一下胳臂。“你可以请他喝一杯酒，然后最好溜掉。他是个科西嘉人，而且和我们的老朋友耶和华[注]一样妒忌。” 一个年轻人向我们走来，看见我时迟疑了一下，但是，索菲作了一个打招呼的姿势，就走到我们桌子面前。他很高，黑黑的，胡子刮得很干净，很漂亮的深色眼睛，鹰钧鼻子，乌黑的鬈发。样子看上去不到二十岁。索菲介绍我是她童年时代的一个美国朋友。 “不会讲话可是漂亮，”她向我说。 “你喜欢他们粗暴，是不是？” “越粗暴越好。” “总有一天会割你的脖子。” “完全意想得到，”她咧开嘴笑。“早死早好。” “人要讲法文，是不是？”水手厉声说。 索菲转身向他一笑，笑里带有一点调侃味道。她说得一口流利的俚俗法语，美国音很重，但是，这样一来，却使她平日使用的下流猥亵语言带有一种滑稽腔调，使人忍俊不禁。 “我告诉他你很漂亮，但是怕你不好意思，我用英语讲了。”[注]她对我说。 “他很棒。肌肉就象个拳击手。你摸摸看。” 这些恭维话使水手的愠怒消失了，带着满意的微笑弯起胳臂，把二头肌鼓出来。 “你摸摸看，”他说。“来吗，你摸摸看。” 我摸了一下，表示相当钦佩。我们拉呱了几分钟。我付了酒帐，站起身来。 "I have to go." “见到你很高兴。别忘记那本书。” "Will not." 我和两个人都拉了手，漫步走开。途中经过书店时，买下那本小说，写上索菲和我的名字。接着，脑子里忽然来了一个念头，但是，想不出什么别的好写，我把龙沙[注]那首精美小诗的第一句写在上面（这首诗是所有选集里都有的）：美人儿，我们去看看那玫瑰花……我把书留在索菲的旅馆里。旅馆就靠近码头，我常住在那里，因为天一亮，人就被呼唤值勤人上班的喇叭吵醒；那时太阳朦胧照在港里平静的水上，犹如给那些幽灵似的舰只蒙上一层尸衣，十分娇美。第二天，我们开往卡锡，我要在这儿买点葡萄酒，然后开到马赛；在马赛换了一只我们预订的新船。一星期后，我回到家里。