Chapter 10 Chapter Three One, Two, Three

After that, I never saw Isabel and Larry again for ten years.Elliott still saw him often, and for some reason--I'll tell you later--indeed more frequently than before.From time to time, I learned about Isabel's recent situation from him.But about Larry, he couldn't say anything. "As far as I know, he still lives in Paris, but I'm unlikely to meet him. Our circle of acquaintances is different." He continued, a little reassured. "It is a great pity that he should have fallen to such a state. He was of a good family, and I dare say I could have made him a little better if he had left it to me. Anyway, Isabel She said she survived."

My acquaintances were not limited to those whom Elliott knew; I knew some in Paris whom Elliott might have thought very disreputable.Although I pass by Paris often, I don’t stay for too long; I also asked some people there if they had met Larry or heard about him; some of them met him by chance, but they couldn’t talk about it. I know him very well, so no one can tell me about Larry.I went to the restaurant where he used to dine, but seeing that he hadn't been there for a long time, I thought he must be gone.I never saw him in those coffee shops on the Rue Montparnasse, where people who live in the neighborhood always go.

Larry had planned to go to Greece after Isabelle left Paris, but he gave up.His actual whereabouts were not told to me by himself until many years later, but in order to arrange things in chronological order as much as possible and make it easier to read, it is better for me to describe them now.He lived in Paris all summer and worked until late autumn. "That's when I felt I needed to put my books away," he said. "I've been reading eight to ten hours a day for two years. So I went to work in a coal mine." "Where are you going?" I called out. Seeing me so surprised, he laughed.

"I think a few months of manual labor will do me good; it will give me time to sort out my thoughts and calm myself down." I didn't speak; I wondered if that was the only reason Larry had taken this unexpected step, or if it had something to do with Isabel's refusal to marry him.The truth is, I had no idea how much he loved Isabel.When most people are in love, they will come up with all kinds of reasons to convince themselves that doing what they want is the only reasonable action.I think that's why there are so many unhappy marriages.They are like those who entrust their affairs to a man who knows he is a villain; since the villain is very good to them, they are unwilling to believe that a villain is a villain first and a friend second, and they firmly believe that this person is a villain. As dishonest as it is to people, never to yourself.Larry was pretty strong in his refusal to sacrifice the life he had chosen for Isabel, but losing Isabel might be more unbearable than he himself expected.Maybe he is like most of us, who want to eat pancakes and keep them.

"Hmph, tell me," I said. "I put my books and clothes in two trunks and gave them to the American Travel Agency for safekeeping. Then I packed a change of clothes and some underwear and I started. My Greek teacher had a sister who married Manager of a coal mine near Lens, so wrote me a letter introducing him. Do you know Lens?" "have no idea." "In the north of France, not far from the Belgian border. I stayed there only one night, at the station hotel, and the next day I took the local train to the coal mines. Have you ever been to a coal mine village?"

"in England." "Well, I think it's about the same. There's a coal mine, and a manager's house, and a row of small three-story buildings, all the same, exactly the same, so monotonous that it makes you very depressed. There's a newly built a strange looking church, and a couple of bars. It was cloudy, cold, and drizzling when I arrived. I went to the manager's office and handed him the letter. The manager was a dumpy man with red cheeks, Looks like a poor fellow. There is a shortage of workers in the mines. Many miners died in the war. There are quite a few Poles working here, I dare say two or three hundred. He asked me a question or two, and he I don't like that I'm an American, I think there's something wrong with it, but his uncle's letter says I'm fine, and he's willing to use me anyway. He's going to give me a job on the ground, but I tell him I wanted to work in the mine. He said that if I was not used to it, I would find it difficult to bear, but I told him that I was prepared, so he said that I could be a miner's assistant.

This is actually done by boys, but boys are not enough turnover.This person is very nice. He asked me if I had looked for a house. When I told him that I hadn’t, he took a piece of paper and wrote the name of the place, saying that if I took this note, the house’s The woman will give me a place to sleep.She was a widow, her husband, a miner, had been killed in the Great War, and her two sons worked in the mines. "I took my bag, left the manager's office, found the house, and a tall woman opened the door, with graying hair, and big black eyes; good features, as they must have looked once in the past; if it weren't for the front teeth With two less, she would not be as haggard as she is now. She told me that there is no room, but there are two beds in the room she rented to a Pole, and I can sleep in the empty bed. Her two sons Sleeps in one room upstairs, and the other she sleeps to herself. The one she showed me was downstairs, and I think it was probably used as a sitting room; But don't be too wordy; the drizzle outside is starting to pick up, and my clothes are wet. I don't want to go anywhere else and get my clothes soaked. So I said it's ok, and I stayed. They used the kitchen as a sitting room with two rickety armchairs. There was a coal shed in the yard that was also used as a bathroom. The boys and the Pole had lunched with them, but She said, I can have dinner with her at noon. After that, I sat in the kitchen and smoked, while she was doing housework, while talking to me about her life experience and family situation. After the morning shift, other people came back one after another. First the Pole, and then the two boys. The Pole walked through the kitchen, and when the landlady told him I was going to share a room with him, she just nodded at me without saying a word, and took it from the mantelpiece. A big kettle went to wash his face in the coal shed. Both boys were tall, and looked handsome despite the coal stains on their faces, and seemed to want to befriend me. They thought I was a monster, Because I'm American. One boy was nineteen years old, just a few months after discharge from the military, and the other was eighteen.

"The Pole came back, and the two boys went to wash up. The Pole's surname is one of those hard-to-pronounce Polish names, but they call him Kosty. A big fellow, two or three inches taller than me, Long and strong; a pale, fat face, with a short, broad nose, and a large mouth; blue eyes, which looked as if they had been put on because they had not been able to wash the soot off their eyebrows and eyelashes. Black eyelashes The blue color of the eyeballs is just horrific; an ugly and dirty fellow. The two boys changed and went out. The Pole continued to sit in the kitchen smoking his pipe and reading the paper.

I had a book in my pocket, so I took it out and started reading too.I noticed that he glanced at me once or twice, and soon put down the paper. "'What are you looking at?' he asked. "I handed him the book to read for himself. It was a copy of The Princess Cliffs [note], which I bought at the Gare de Paris, because it was small enough to fit in my pocket. He read, and Look at me, a little strange, and return the book. I see a sarcastic smile on his lips. "'Does it look good to you?'" 'I find it interesting—even fascinating. '"'I read it at school in Warsaw. It bored me to death.' He spoke French very well, without a Polish accent. 'Now I read nothing but newspapers and detective novels.'" Mrs. Ducklock—that was our landlady's name—kept one eye on the supper soup which was burning on the fire, and leaned against the table to mend a stocking.She told Costi that I had been referred by the mine manager, and repeated what I thought I could tell her.As he listened, he patted his pipe, and looked at me with sharp blue eyes, stern but delicate.He asked me a few questions about me.When I told him I'd never worked in a coal mine, he had a sardonic smile on his lips.

"'You don't know what you're here for. A man wouldn't work in a coal mine if he had something else to do. But it's your business, and you must have your reasons. Where do you live in Paris?'" I told him where he lived. "'At one time I used to go to Paris once a year, but in those avenues. Have you ever been to La Rue's? That's my favorite restaurant.' "This surprised me a little, Because you know, it's not cheap. " "Not cheap at all." "I think he saw that I was a little surprised, because he had that ironic smile on his lips again. But he obviously didn't think he needed any further explanation. We chatted and chatted, and then the two boys came back. We had dinner together. After dinner Costy asked me if I would like to go up to the tavern with him for a beer. The tavern was just a fairly large room with a bar at one end and some marble-topped tables. There are wooden chairs around the table. There is a player piano, a coin is put in, and dance music is playing on the piano. There are only three other tables occupied except the one we are sitting on. Kosty asked if I would Dabilu. I learned how to play from my school friends, so he suggested that we bet on who would win the beer bill. I agreed, and he asked someone to bring the cards.

I lost a beer, and then another beer.Then he suggested we play cash.He had good cards and I had bad luck.But the bet was not much, and I lost only a few francs.Enthused by the win and the beer, he began to talk, and I soon saw from his speech and manner that he was an educated man.When he got back to Paris, he asked me if I knew so-and-so, such-and-such, the American women I met when Aunt Louisa and Isabel were staying at the Elliot's house.He seems to be much more familiar with these people than I am, and I don't understand how he got to this point.It's not late, but we have to get up at dawn. "'Let's have another beer before we go,' said Costie. "He was looking at me with his fine little eyes as he sipped his beer. I knew what he reminded me of, a curmudgeonly pig. "'Why did you work in the bastard's coal mine?' he asked me. "'Try it.'" 'You're a fool, lad,' he said. "Then why do you work here?" ’” He shrugged his thick, bloated shoulders. "'I went to a noble military school as a boy, my father was a general under the tsar, and I was a cavalry officer in the last war. I can't stand Pirsudski. We planned to kill him, but someone Betrayed us. Whoever caught our men was shot. At last I had time to cross the border. At this time I had only two ways to join the French Legion, or to work in the coal mines. The two bad things, I chose The latter one is less bad.' "I had told Costey what I was going to do in the coal mines, and he said nothing then, but now, resting his elbow on the marble table, he said to me : "'You try spreading my hands out.'" I know it's an old-fashioned wrestling, so spread my palms against his.he laughed. 'After a few weeks, your hands won't be so soft. ' I pushed as hard as I could, but he was so strong I couldn't move him; he slowly pushed my hand back all the way under the table. "'You've got a lot of strength,' he managed not to laugh at me.' Not many people can last that long. Listen, my assistant is no good, he's a little Frenchman, and he doesn't even have the strength for a louse.Come with me tomorrow, and I will tell the foreman to ask you to be my assistant. '"'I'd love to,' I said. 'Do you think he would?'"'Be kind.Can you afford fifty francs? ' "He held out his hand and I took a bill out of my wallet and gave it to him. The two of us went home to sleep. I had worked all day and slept like a pig." "Don't you think it's hard work in the coal mines?" I asked Larry. "It hurts at the beginning," he said with a broad grin. "Costy worked with the foreman, and I was Costy's assistant. At that time, the place where Costy worked was only the size of a hotel bathroom, and he had to go through a very low tunnel to get in, so he could only use his hands and feet Climb in. It was as hot as a furnace inside, and we only wore a pair of trousers when we worked. The fat and white upper body of Costie was extremely disgusting to look at, like a gnat of any size. In such a narrow space At one point, the sound of the air knife was deafening. My job was to fill a basket with the coal he chopped, and then drag the basket to the tunnel entrance. , put it on, and drive the coal truck to the elevator. This is the only coal mine I have encountered in my life, so I don’t know if the general practice is like this. This seems to be a very basic method of operation, but It was a damn hard job. When half a job was done, we sat down to rest, eat lunch, and smoke a cigarette.After a day of work, I don't feel bad, and it's a joy to take a shower.I acted as if my feet would never be clean, black as ink.Of course my hand was cut and sore terribly, but it grew back.I'm slowly getting used to the job. " "How long did you last?" "I've only been doing this job for a few weeks. The coal wagons that get the coal up to the elevator are pulled by a tractor, and the driver doesn't know much about machines, and the engine keeps breaking down. Once he couldn't start the car, and I can't seem to think of anything. I'm pretty good at repairing machines, so I checked the machine and within half an hour, the car was fixed. The foreman told the manager, who called me and asked me if I knew how to drive. He ended up asking me to be the driver; monotonous work, of course, but easy, and as the engine didn't give me any more trouble, they liked me very much. "Costy hated me leaving him. He got along well with me and got used to me. I worked with him all day, went to the tavern after dinner, and slept in a room. Of course we knew him well. He It's a weird guy. You will definitely like this kind of person.He doesn't hang out with Poles, and we don't go to cafés where Poles go.He can't forget that he is a nobleman and has been a cavalry officer, so he regards those Poles as shit.Of course the Poles hated him, but there was nothing they could do about it; he was as strong as a bull, and in a fight five or six men couldn't beat him, with or without a knife.Nevertheless, I got to know some Poles; they told me that it was true that he had been an officer in a fine cavalry corps, but that it was a lie that he had left Poland for political reasons.He had been caught cheating at cards, kicked out of the Warsaw officers' club, and dismissed.They told me not to play cards with him; said he was a little timid to meet them, because they knew his background too well.No one would play cards with him. "I've been losing to him at cards, you know, but not much, just a few francs, and when he wins he's always fighting over the bill, so it's nothing. I think I'm just unlucky." , or maybe he didn't play as well as he did. But after those guys told me, my eyes turned and I was 100% sure he was cheating, but, you know, I couldn't see how he was cheating .Well, he's so smart. I know he ain't gonna get good cards all the time. I'm staring at him like a lynx. He's as cunning as a fox, and I guess he's seen I'm wary of him. One night, after we had played cards a little, he looked at me with a rather cruel, sarcastic smile--the only way he knew how to laugh--and said: "'Shall I show you two tricks? ? '" He brought the cards over, told me to name a card, then shuffled the cards, told me to take one at random; and when I took one and looked at it, it was the one I said. He did two more tricks , and then asked me if I could play poker. I said yes, and he gave me a few cards. I saw that the cards in my hand were four aces and one king. "'You're going to bet a lot of money on that deck, aren't you?' he asked me. "'I'll put all my money on it,' I answered. "'Fool.' He showed me his hand. It was a straight flush. How he did it, I don't know. He laughed when he saw me. 'If I wasn't a decent man , I'll make you lose even your wife so far.' "'You're not at a disadvantage now,' I said with a smile. "'Small thing. Not enough for a dinner at La Rue.' "We continued to play cards every night, and had a good time.I've come to the conclusion that he cheated more for the fun than the money.He took an odd satisfaction in being able to fool me, and I thought he was amused to find that I knew he was cheating but couldn't see how he was doing it. "But that was only one side of him, and it was the other that interested me. I could hardly reconcile the two. Though he boasted that he read nothing but newspapers and detective novels, But he is really a cultured man. He is very talkative. He talks harshly, sternly, and ironically, but listening to him often makes people laugh. He is a devout Catholic. There is a cross hanging above his bed. Goes to mass a lot. Always gets drunk on Saturday nights. The small hotel we went to was always crowded and smoky on Saturdays. Some were quiet middle-aged miners with their families, some were crowds The rowdy young men of the team, some sweaty and smudged around the table playing biloos and shouting loudly, while their wives sat a little later watching. These people and these voices had a kind of effect on Costi. Odd influence; he'd get serious and talk about mysticism--this, of all the things you can't imagine. I didn't know anything about mysticism at the time, except that I read a Mette in Paris. Link's article on Rusbroek. Costi, however, speaks of Prudino, Athenian Supreme Court Justice Denis, shoemaker Jokobai Boim, and Meister Eckhart [Note]. It is unthinkable to hear such a big man and vagabond expelled from his own world speak with sarcasm, resentment, and despair about the nature of all things, about the blissful state of union with God. I have never heard of these things before, which makes me feel baffled and excited. I am like a person lying in a dark room but waking up on the bed. It would open up like a field of bright morning light. But when I tried to tease him about it when he was awake, he would lose his temper with me and look at me viciously. "'How do I know what I'm talking about when I don't even know what I'm talking about?' he interrupted. "But I know he's lying. He knows exactly what he's talking about. He knows a lot. He was drunk, of course, but the look in his eyes, the rapture on his ugly face, was more than just Because of the wine. There is a lot of truth in it. When he talked to me like this for the first time, I can never forget some words, because I was horrified when I heard them. He said that the world was not created by God, because nothing can be changed Because there is; the world is an expression of eternity; that's all, but, he went on, evil, like good, is a direct expression of divinity. Sitting in that dirty and noisy cafe, with player piano accompaniment It's kind of weird to hear him say that to dance music." two In order to give the reader a break, I have added another section here, but only for the reader's convenience; Larry's conversation was not interrupted.I might as well take this opportunity to say that Larry talks very slowly, always choosing his words carefully.Although I do not claim to be an exact record of these conversations, I have endeavored not only to repeat his conversations but to copy his manner as well.His voice was clear and musical, and he listened well; when he talked, he made no gestures, only smoking his pipe, pausing sometimes to relight it, and staring at you, with a kindness in his dark eyes. Endearing, often quirky expressions. "Then spring came. In that flat and desolate country, spring came very late, and it was still rainy and cold; The elevator plunged a hundred feet into the belly of the earth, filled with miners in coal-stained work pants. Spring was spring, but in that filthy field spring came shyly, as if uncertain. Will it be popular with people. It's like a daffodil, or a lily, in a pot on the window sill of a slum house, so you don't know what it's doing there. On Sunday morning, we lay in bed —Because we always get up late on Sunday mornings—I was reading, and Costi looked out at the blue sky and said to me: "'I'm getting out of here.Would you like to come with me? '" I know that many Poles go back to Poland to harvest wheat in the summer, but the season is still early, and Kostipoland cannot go back. "'Where are you going?' I asked. "'Wandering. Across Belgium to Germany and down the Rhine. We can get work on a farm and get away with a summer.'" I decided without hesitation. "'That sounds good,' I said. "The next day we went and told the foreman we were quitting. I found a man who would give me a knapsack in exchange for a purse. I gave the clothes I didn't need and couldn't carry to Mrs. Dukelock's youngest son. , because he was about the same size as me. Costi left a pocket, packed some things he needed into a knapsack, and set off the next day after the old woman gave us coffee. "We were in no hurry, as we couldn't find a farm to work on at least until the crops were ready to harvest, so the two lazily walked from Namur and Liege through France and Belgium, and entered via Aachen. Germany. Walk ten or twelve miles a day at most; come across a village that looks nice and stay there. There's always an inn or something to spend the night in, and there's always a hotel where you can eat and drink. Beer. On the whole, the weather was fine. After months of working in the coal mines, it was a pleasure to be out in the field. I daresay I never knew a piece of greenery looked so good, a tree The tree hadn't got its leaves yet, but how nice it was to have a light green mist over its branches. Costey began to teach me German, which I believe he spoke as well as French. We went on our way, He would tell me the German names of the various things that passed us, a cow, a horse, a man, and so on, and then make me repeat simple German sentences; thus killing the time. When I entered Germany, I was at least able to ask for what I wanted. "Cologne wasn't exactly on the way, but Costey was determined to go there, he said, for the eleven thousand martyred nuns[Note]. When we got to Cologne, he went to drink and mess around. I didn't see him for three days. when he came back to the room that looked like a workers' dormitory, his face was very gloomy. It turned out that he had fought with someone, his eyes were blackened, and his lips were cut. That is not very handsome, I can tell you, he After twenty-four hours' sleep we set off for Darmstadt along the Rhine; he said the country was fine and we had a good chance of finding work. "I've never had such a good time. The weather was still fine, and we wandered through towns and villages; Sleep on straw, eat in roadside inns, and when we get to the wine country, drink wine instead of beer; Costey had a rough joviality which endowed them with confidence; he would play scat with them, which is a German game of cards. He would steal cards, but he was good-natured, and Tell dirty jokes that they appreciate, so those guys don't mind losing a few bucks to him. I practiced my German with them; I bought a little English-German conversational grammar when I was in Cologne, and it improved pretty quickly. Arrived In the evening, after drinking two large glasses of white wine, Costey would talk in a strange and morbid way of finding solitude from escaping it, of the dark night of the soul, of the blissful state of being one with the Creator and the Lord. But in the early morning , as we were walking through the bright country with the dew on the grass, I wanted him to tell me more, but he became so angry that he nearly beat me. "'Shut up, you're good,' he said. 'What do you want to know about all this nonsense? Come on, let's learn German.' "A man whose fists are like steam hammers and who strikes at will, you What's the point of arguing with him.I've seen him lose his temper once.I knew he could knock me out and drop me in the gutter, and he'd empty my pockets while I was passed out without me having to mention it.I can't fathom him as a person.When wine opens his mouth, and he speaks of the Supreme Being, he shuns his usual vulgarity, like taking off the coal-stained workman's trousers he wore in the coal mine; eloquence.I'm sure he wasn't cheating.I don't know how I remembered it, but I somehow had the idea that he was engaged in the hard and inhuman labor in the coal mines to torture his own flesh and blood.As if he hated his own great bloated body to suffer; his deceit, his hatred, his cruelty, were all against his will—well, I didn't know you'd say What it did—his will rebelled against a deeply rooted divine instinct, against his own desire for a God who frightened and confused him at the same time. "We're not in a hurry, spring is almost over and the trees are all green. The grapes are starting to fill in the vineyards. We always try to follow the dirt road, which is getting dusty now. We're in Damme Near Stadt, Costi said we'd better get a job. We're running out of money. I still have half a dozen travelers' checks in my pocket, but I'm determined not to use them if I can. When we When we saw a nice looking cottage, we stopped and asked if they wanted two helpers. I would say we didn't look very pleasant; we were dusty, sweaty, and dirty Costey looked like a big rogue, and I didn't look much better. We were turned down several times. A farmer in one place said he would hire Costy, but not me; Costy said we We are good friends and cannot be separated. I told him to go, but he refused. I was surprised. I know Costy liked me, though I couldn't think why, because I was no use to him now, but, I definitely didn't think he liked me so much that he would refuse to work for me. When we walked away, I felt a bit guilty because I didn't really like him, in fact, I found him rather annoying, but , when I was about to say a few words to show how pleased I was with him, he yelled at me. "However, our luck finally turned. We had just passed through a village in a low valley when we saw a single cottage, which looked good. We knocked, and a woman came to the door. We asked questions as usual. She wants a helper, saying that we don’t need wages, as long as we have food and a place to live, but she didn’t invite us to shut the door, but told us to wait a while. She called someone inside the house, and a man came out soon. The man looked us over and asked where we were from. He asked us to show him our papers, and when he saw that I was American, he gave me another look. He didn't seem very happy about it, but he still asked We went in and had a glass of wine; he took us into the kitchen, and the three of us sat down together. The woman brought a mug of wine and some glasses. He told us that his helper had been gored by a bull and was in the hospital until the crops were harvested.So many people died in the war, and the rest went to work in the factories that popped up along the Rhine, and it's hard as hell to find helpers now.We know this and have already figured it out.All in all, he said he could hire us.There was a lot of room in the house, but I think he didn't want us to live in it; anyway, he told us there were two beds above the straw shed, and we slept there. "It's not heavy work on the farm. The cows have to be fed, and the pigs to be fed; the machinery is not working, and we've got to put it in order; but, I've got a little leisure. I like the fragrant lawns, and I used to wander about in the evenings, Thinking about it, life was going well. "The family name is Becker. There are old Becker, his wife, his widow and grandchildren. Becker is nearly fifty years old, with a fat body and gray hair; he served in the army during the Great War and suffered injuries on his legs He was wounded, and now he walks with a limp. The wound in his leg is so painful that he can only drink to relieve the pain; he is always drunk before going to bed. After supper, they used to go to the tavern together, play skat, and drink a lot. Mrs. Becker was a maid. They took her out of the orphanage, and Becker married her shortly after his wife died. She was quite a bit younger than Becker, and she was still pretty, plump, with red, light-colored hair, and coquettish.Costi soon saw that there was a tricky conclusion in this.I told him not to be a fool. We have a good job and don't want to lose it.He just laughed at me; said Becker couldn't satisfy her, and she wanted it.I know it's useless to tell him to behave, but I still tell him to be careful; Becker may not see his intentions, but there is also his daughter-in-law.You can't escape her eyes. "Ellie—that was the daughter-in-law's name—was a tall, strong young woman of about twenty, with dark eyes, black hair, and a long, dour face. Her husband wears a filial piety. She is a devout believer. Every Sunday morning, she walks to the village to attend early mass, and in the afternoon she goes to attend evening prayer. She has three children, one of whom is a posthumous child; Besides, never speak. She only does a small amount of work on the farm, and spends most of her time taking care of the children. At night, she always sits alone in the sitting room and opens the door to read novels, so that she can hear any children crying.The two women have a bad relationship.Ellie despised Mrs. Becker because she was an outcast, had been a servant, and hated her for being the housewife who could give orders. "Ai Li is the daughter of a wealthy farmer, and she brought a large dowry when she married. She did not go to school in the village, but went to a girls' sports school in the nearest town of Swingenberg, where she received a very good education. Poor Mrs. Baker came to the farm at the age of fourteen, and reading and writing is quite good for her. The two women do not get along, which is another reason. Allie shows off her knowledge at every opportunity, and Mrs. Baker is angry. blushing, asked what knowledge would do to a farmer's wife, and Allie would look at her dead husband's ID badge, which was chained around her wrist by a steel chain, and snark at Mrs. Baker's sullen face. Said: "'Not a farmer's wife.Just a farmer's widow, the widow of a hero who gave his life for his country. ' "Poor old Becker had to put the farm work on hold to keep them from quarreling." "But what do they think of you?" I interrupted Larry. “哦，他们当作我是从美国军队里逃出来的，弄得回不了美国，回去就得坐牢。 我不愿意跟贝克尔和考斯第上酒店去喝酒，他们认为就是这个缘故。他们觉得我不愿引起人们注意，弄得村警来盘问我。当爱丽得知我打算学德文时，她就把自己的旧课本拿出来，说要教我。因此，晚饭后，她就和我走进起坐间，把贝克尔太太丢在厨房里；我读给她听，她改正我的读音，并设法使我懂得那些我不认识的单词。 我猜想她这样做与其说是帮助我，还不如说是摆点颜色给贝克尔太太看。 “考斯第这一向一直都在设法勾引贝克尔太太，但是没有进展。她是一个快活的、嘻嘻哈哈的女人，很随便地和他一起揶揄说笑，考斯第对女人很有他的一套。 我猜她知道考斯第的用心，而且敢说自己感到得意，但是，当考斯第开始拧她时，她却教他放规矩些，并且掴了他耳光。我敢打赌，那一记打得很重。 " 拉里有点迟疑，有点不好意思地笑了一下。 “我从来不是那种认为女人在追我的人，可是，我感到——嗯，贝克尔太太看中了我。这使我很不舒服。单拿一点说，她比我大得多，而且老贝克尔一直对我们很尊重。吃饭时，贝克尔太太管分菜，我没法不感到她给我的菜总比给别人的多一点。我总觉得，她在找机会同我单独在一起。她会以一种我想你会称做的挑战姿态向我微笑，曾经问我可有女朋友，并且说一个年轻人在这种乡下，一定因为找不到女朋友而感到苦闷。这类事情你是懂得的。我只有三件衬衫，而且都穿得很破了。 有一次，她说我穿得这样破烂真丢脸，要我把衬衫拿来让她给我缝缝补补。爱丽听到了，因此，下一次她和我单独在一起时，就说我如果有什么东西要补的，让她来补。我说没有关系。可是，一两天后，我发觉我的袜子洞全补好了，衬衫也打上补钉，放在阁楼上我放东西的长凳上，但是，不知道是她们哪一个做的。当然，我并不把贝克尔太太放在心上；她是个忠厚女人，我觉得这可能只是她的母性表现；但是，有一天，考斯第跟我说：“'你听着，她要的不是我而是你。我一点指望也没有。'“'别胡说八道，'我跟他说。 '她大可以做我的母亲。 '“'这有什么关系？你只管追她，老弟，我不会碍你的事。她可能不那么年轻，但是身体长得很不错。'“'不要胡说。 '“'你迟疑做什么？不要因为我的缘故，我希望。我是个哲学家，我懂得此处不着那处着。我不怪她。你年轻，我也年轻过来。青春是稍纵即逝的。'“考斯第这样把稳，我并不高兴，我不愿意相信有这种事情。我不知道怎样对付这种局面是好，后来，我追溯了当时曾经触动我的许多事情，爱丽讲的那些我没有怎样留意的话。可是，现在我懂了，我有把握说爱丽也知道是怎么回事。贝克尔太太和我单独在厨房里时，爱丽会突然跑进来。我有个印象好象她在监视我们。我很不喜欢，觉得她想要当场提着我们。我知道她恨贝克尔太太，只要有点风吹草动，她就闹出来。当然我知道她没法子抓到我们的把柄，但是，这个女人的心眼儿很坏，说不定会编出一套谎话来灌输给老贝克尔。我不懂得怎样对付，只好假装我是个大傻瓜，一点领会不了这个女人的用心所在。我在农场上过得很快活，干活也干得很开心，不想在收割之前就离开。 " 我不由得笑起来。我可以想象得出拉里当时的模样，穿着补过的衬衫和短裤，脸和脖子被莱茵河的太阳晒得黝黑，灵活而瘦削的身体，一双深色眼睛嵌在田进的眼窝里。我可以有把握说，他这副相貌会使贝克尔太太这样白皙、这样胸部丰满的主妇欲火中烧起来。 “那么，后来怎样呢？”我问。 “是啊，夏天一天天过去。我们象牛马一样干着活。割掉麦子，堆起麦子。后来樱桃熟了。考斯第和我爬梯子摘樱桃，两个女人把樱桃装进大箩筐，由老贝克尔送到斯温根堡镇上卖掉。后来我们又割裸麦。当然始终还要照顾牲口。我们总是天没亮就起来，一直干到天黑才歇手。我想贝克尔太太已经看出我这人没有指望，把我放弃了；我总是保持和她若即若离，但是，尽量不得罪她。晚上，我已经非常瞌睡，谈不上读什么德文；吃完晚饭就回到阁楼上去，往床上一倒。贝克尔和考斯第大都上村里的酒店，可是考斯第回来时，我已经酣呼大睡了。阁楼上很热，我睡觉时总脱得赤条条的。 “有一天夜里，我被弄醒了。开头我弄不清是怎么回事；我半睡半醒，我感到一只热呼呼的手捂着我的嘴，这才发觉有人和我睡在一起。我把手挪开，接着就有一张嘴抚着我的嘴，两只胳臂抱着我，我感到贝克尔太太的两只大奶于抵着我的身体。 “'不要响，'她低声说。 “她身体紧紧抵着我，用又热又丰满的嘴唇吻我，两只手不住摸我的身体，两条大腿夹在我大腿中间。” 拉里停下来，我吃吃笑了。 “你怎么办呢？” 他不属地笑一下，甚至脸有点红起来。 “我有什么办法？我能够听见考斯第在我旁边的床上鼾声很大。这是约瑟的处境[注]，而且我过去一直觉得有点可笑。我只有二十三岁。我不能闹出来，把她赶走。我也不想使她伤心；只好依她。 “后来她溜下我的床，轻手轻脚下了阁楼。我可以告诉你，我深深叹了口气，心放了下来。你知道，我吓坏了。'天哪，'我说，'真险！'我想贝克尔很可能吃得大醉回来，昏昏沉沉睡了，可是，他们睡一个床，说不定他会醒来，看见自己老婆不在床上。还有爱丽。她总是说睡得不好。如果她醒着，她就会听见贝克尔太太下楼走出屋子。接着我忽然想起一件事情来。贝克尔太太和我睡在一起时，我觉得有块铜片碰到我的身体。当时我没有注意到，你知道在这种情况下，人们一般都不注意这些事情的，我而且一直没有盘算到他妈的这是什么。现在我想起来了。当时我坐在床沿上，正在盘算这一切事情的后果而且发愁时，忽然吓了一大跳，人站了起来。那个铜片是爱丽丈夫的身份牌，被爱丽一直缠在手腕上的，所以和我睡在一起的并不是贝克尔太太，而是爱丽。” 我哈哈大笑，笑得不可开交。 “你可能觉得好笑，”拉里说。 "I don't think so." “现在你回想一下当时的情景，是不是认为这件事情有点滑稽味道吗？” 拉里嘴边勉强露出微笑。 “也许。可是这事情弄得非常尴尬。我不知道这会引起什么后果。我不喜欢爱丽。我觉得她是个顶讨厌的女人。” “可是，你怎么会把她当作另外一个呢？” “那时屋子里漆黑。她除了叫我不要作声外，一句话也没说。她们两个身材都高大。我认为贝克尔太太看上了我。从没有想到爱丽会把我放在心上。她总是想念自己的丈夫。我点起一支香烟盘算当时的情形，越想越不高兴。看来最好的办法是离开这儿。 ”我时常恨考斯第不容易叫醒。在煤矿上时，我总要死扯活拉把他叫起来，使他不至于迟到。可是，现在我倒很感谢他睡得这样沉了。我点灯穿上衣服，把衣物打在背包里——我的东西不多，所以一会儿就打好了——把胳臂套在背带里。只穿袜子穿过阁楼，一直到楼梯下面才穿鞋，把手里的灯吹熄。夜很黑，没有月亮，可是，我识得大路，到了大路上就向村子的方向走去。我走得很快，因为我打算在有人走动之前穿过村子。这儿离斯温根堡只有十二英里，我到达时，刚开始有人走动。 这次夜路我永远不会忘记。路上除了我的脚步声外，一点声音没有，只偶尔从农场那边传来一声鸡叫。后来天上露出一点既不是亮又不是黑的鱼肚白，接着，是晨曦微露，太阳出来，鸟儿全开始歌唱起来。还有那绿油油的田野、草地和树林，田里的小麦，被清晨的宁静光线照得金里泛银。我在斯温根堡喝了一杯咖啡，吃了一只小面包，然后上邮局打了一个电报给美国旅行社，叫他们把我的衣服和书寄到波恩去。 " “为什么到波恩？”我打断他。 “我们沿莱茵河步行时在那里耽搁过，我很中意那个城市。我喜欢阳光照在屋顶上和河上面的那种情调，那些小街，那些别墅、花园、栗子树的大道和大学的洛可可式[注]建筑。当时，我就想到在那儿待一个时候倒不坏。可是，我觉得在到达那里之前，该把外表收拾得象样一点。我的样子就象个流浪汉，敢说我如果找到一处供应膳宿的人家，要租赁一间房，人家不会信得过我，所以我坐了火车上法兰克福，去买了一只皮包和一些衣服。我在波恩断断续续住了有一年光景。” “你这番经历使你有什么收获呢？我的意思是说在煤矿上和在农场上。” “有，”拉里点头微笑着。 可是，他没有告诉我是哪些收获，而且那时候我已经很熟悉他的为人，他愿意告诉你时，就告诉你，他不愿意告诉你时，就会半开玩笑地把你的问题支开，再问他也是白费。我得提醒读者，这一切都是在十年之后他才告诉我的。在这以前，也就是我和他重又碰面之前，我一直就不知道他的行踪，或者他在干什么。拿我来说，他等于死了一样。如果不是由于我和艾略特的交往，经常使我得悉伊莎贝儿的生活经过、从而想起拉里，我肯定早已忘掉有这个人了。 three 伊莎贝儿和拉里解约后的第二年六月初，就和格雷?马图林结婚了。这时候，巴黎的游宴季节正处在高潮，艾略特有很多的盛大宴会要参加，当然不愿意离开，可是他的家族感情非常之强，对这种在他认为是履行社会责任的事，他决不能不管。 伊莎贝儿两个哥哥，供职的地点都太远，没法离开，所以只好由艾略特作一次不愉快的旅行，上芝加哥做伊莎贝儿的主婚人。他想起那些法国贵族都是穿着盛装上断头台的，所以特地上伦敦订做一套新晨礼服，一件青灰色双排钮扣的大衣和一顶丝绒大礼帽。回到巴黎来时，他请我来看他穿上这套衣装的派头。他选定他认为婚礼应当打的淡灰色领带，弄得他平日别在领带上的珍珠别针一点不显眼，正感到恼火。 我建议他改用他那支翡翠和钻石的别针。 ”我如果是客人——那可以，”他说。“但是，处在我要担任的主婚人地位，我的确觉得珠子是一种象征。” 他对这门亲事很高兴，认为从各方面看，都符合他的标准；谈起来时，就象个居孀的公爵夫人对于拉罗什富科家的幼子和蒙莫朗西家的女儿门当户对的结婚，谈得津津有味。为了明白表示自己的满意，他不惜重金买了一张纳蒂埃的法国王室公主的一幅精美画像，预备带去作为婚礼。 亨利?马图林好象给这对年轻夫妇在阿斯特街买下一幢房子，使他们靠近布太太家，同时离开自己在湖滨道的宫殿式府第也不太远。说也凑巧，而且我疑心这里面有艾略特做了手脚，在买下这幢房子时格雷戈里?布拉巴宗恰好在芝加哥，因此，房子的内部装饰就交给了他。当艾略特返回欧洲，放弃了巴黎的游宴季不参加而直接到了伦敦时，他带来了一些屋内装饰的照片。格雷戈里?布拉巴宗放手大干了一场。客厅和餐厅完全是乔治二世风格，非常华贵。书房是格雷将来的窝；格雷戈里是靠慕尼黑的阿马连堡宫一间屋子给他的启发来装饰的；除掉没有地方放书籍外，可以说无懈可击。至于卧室，把双人床除外，格雷戈里给这对年轻美国夫妇装饰得太舒适了，违法王路易十五在这里会见他的蓬帕杜夫人也会同样满意，但是，伊莎贝儿的浴室连路易十五见到也会大开眼界；全是玻璃——墙壁、天花板、浴缸——墙上有许多银色的鱼在金色的水草中游来游去。 “当然，房子不大，”艾略特说，“但是，亨利告诉我，屋内的装修花了他十万块。对某些人说来，简直是一笔财产。” 婚礼是在圣公会教会所能做到的范围内极尽铺张的能事中举行的。 “不象巴黎圣母院的那种婚礼，”他心安理得地告诉我，“但是，就新教的婚礼来说，总算有气派。” 报纸的报道很象样，艾略特随便把些剪报扔给我看。他给我看伊莎贝儿和格雷的结婚照片，伊莎贝儿穿着新娘服装，个子很高但是漂亮，格雷虽然块头大，但是，身材长得不坏，穿着礼服稍微有点不太自如。还有一张新婚夫妇和伴娘们的照片，一张和布太太、艾略特一起拍的照片，布太太穿一件华贵的衣服，艾略特拿着新丝绒大礼帽的派头可以算一绝。我问他布太太身体怎样。 “体重减少了许多，而且我觉得她的脸色不大好看，但是人倒精神。当然整个婚事使她很累，不过，现在事情办完，她总可以休息一下了。” 一年后，伊莎贝儿生了一个女儿，根据当时的风气，她给她取名叫琼；隔了两年，又生了一个女儿，又根据当时风气，取名普丽西拉。 亨利?马图林一个合伙的人死了，另外两个在压力下不久也退休了，所以，这个一直由他独断独行的企业，现在完全归他所有。他长期以来抱的野心既然实现，就叫格雷跟他合伙。生意从来没有这样兴旺过。 “他们赚钱就象随手捞似的，老兄，”艾略特告诉我。“怎么，格雷才。十五岁，已经赚五万块一年了，而且这只是开头。美国的富源真是没有个完。这不是暂时的繁荣，而是一个伟大国家的正常发展。” 他的胸臆装满了一种少见的爱国热情。 “亨利?马图林不会永远活下去，高血压，你懂吗？格雷到了四十岁时，总会有二千万元。了不起，老兄，了不起。” 艾略特和姐姐经常保持通信，年去年来，不时把他姐姐告诉他的一些事情告诉我。格雷和伊莎贝儿过得很快乐，而且两个孩子都可爱。他们的生活方式使艾略特深感满意，认为完全适合他们的地位；请客的场面阔透，人家请他们也是如此；艾略特非常满意地告诉我，说他们三个月里没有一次两个人单独在一起吃过晚饭。这种纸醉金迷生活国马图林太太的逝世打断了一下——就是那个脸色苍白、高颧骨的女人，当初亨利?马图林娶她是为了自己在芝加哥能有点地位，因为他父亲当初来到芝加哥时不过是个乡下佬。为了纪念马图林太太，小两口儿有一年工夫请客顶多只请六个人。 ”我一直说八个人是最合适的，”艾略特说，拿定主意从乐观的角度来看待这件事。“这样比较亲切，谈话全照应得到，人数又够得上象个宴会。” 格雷在妻子身上很肯花钱。生头一个孩子时，他给了伊莎贝儿一只方钻石戒指；生第二个孩子时，送了她一件黑貂皮大衣。由于太忙，他很少离开芝加哥，但是，只要能够放几天假，他们都要到亨利?马图林在麻汾的那幢大房子去度假日。亨利对儿子非常钟爱，有求必应，有一次圣诞节，在南卡罗来纳州买了一处农场，使他能在射猎季节时去打两个星期的野鸭子。 “当然，我们的商业巨头跟意大利文艺复兴时期靠商业发财的那些伟大的艺术倡导人很相似。例如，美第奇家族。两个法国国王并不认为娶这家望族的女儿有失身份，我预见到有一天欧洲的贵族也会向我们的金元公主求婚的。雪莱是怎样说的？ '世界的伟大时代将重新开始，黄金的年头要回转来。 '" 多年来，布太太和艾略特的投资都交给亨利?马图林管，姐弟对他的眼光很信任，而且有十足的理由这样做。亨利从来不考虑做投机，把他们的钱都放在可靠的股票上，但是，由于股票的价值大大增长，他们发现自己有限的那点财产却增加得很可观，使他们又惊又喜。艾略特告诉我，他不用动一只指头，眼下一九二六年已经有他在一九一八年的财产的两倍。他现在六十五岁，头花发白，脸上有皱纹，眼睛下面有眼包，但是仍不服老；身材依然瘦削，而且和过去一样腰杆笔挺；在烟酒上向来有节制，而且很注意外表。只要他能够有伦敦最好的栽缝给他做衣服，有自己的特约理发师为他理发修面，有推拿的人天天早上来使他的优美身形保持常态，他决不听任自己的身体受到时光的摧残。他早已忘记自己曾经沦为商贾之流，总倾向于暗示自己早年曾经在外交界做过事，但是从不明白说出，因为他人并不笨，决不会讲一句难免会被人戳穿的谎言。我得承认，如果我有机会描写一位大使的话，我毫不迟疑会选上艾略特做我的蓝本。 但是，世道在变。当初把艾略特提拔进社交界的那些仍然活着的伟大妇女，年事已经很高。那些英国的贵族夫人，在她们的爵爷去世后，只得把府邸让给媳妇，自己住进切尔登南的小别墅或者摄政公园一带的普通房屋。斯达福德府改为博物馆[注]，古松府成了一个机构的办事处，德文郡府在出卖。艾略特在考斯常坐的帆船转了手。眼下当道的那些时髦人物觉得艾略特这样大年纪的人没有用。他们嫌他烦不过，而且可笑。他们仍旧愿意参加他在克拉里奇饭店招待的盛大午宴，可是，艾略特相当机伶，知道他们来是为了相互之间碰头，而不是来看他。过去请帖散在写字台上随便他挑选的情形，现在已经没有了；他常常弄得只好在自己旅馆的套间里一个人吃晚饭，这种丢脸事情他很不愿意有人知道。英国有地位的女子，由于一件风流事件遭到交际界抵制之后，就对艺术感觉兴趣起来，在自己身边罗致一些画家、作家和音乐家。艾略特太心高气傲了，可不愿意丢这样的脸。 “遗产税和战争暴发户把英国交际界毁了，”他告诉我。“人们好象对于和什么人来往全不在乎。伦敦的裁缝和鞋帽匠还是不错的，敢说我活在世上时还会如此，但是，除掉这些，伦敦已经完了。老兄，你可知道圣艾尔斯家用女人伺候饭桌吗？” 这话是他和我吃完午宴一同从卡登府胡同走出来时讲的。那天的午宴上发生了一桩不幸事件。我们的尊贵主人藏画很有名，一个叫保罗?巴顿的年轻美国人第一次上这儿来，表示想看看这些藏画。 “你是不是有张提香[注]？” “我们从前有过。现在在美国了。一个犹太佬出了一大笔钱买它，而我们那时候手头他妈的正非常之紧，所以老爵爷就卖掉了。” 我注意到艾略特耳朵竖了起来，对这位谈笑自若的侯爷恶狠狠看了一眼，就猜到当初原是他买下这张画的。他听到自己这个出身在弗吉尼亚而且祖先在独立宣言上签过名的后裔被人家这样奚落，简直气炸了。他有生以来从没有受过这样的羞辱。 更使人受不了的是，他对保罗?巴顿一向就深恶痛绝。这人年纪虽轻，在大战后不久就到了伦敦。二十三岁，白白的皮肤，长得很漂亮，人有风趣，舞跳得非常之好，并且很有钱。他带了一封信来见艾略特，艾略特天生是个好心肠，就介绍他认识自己的那些形形色色的朋友。这样还不满足，还给了他一些宝贵的忠告，教他怎样做人。他根据自己已往的经验指给他看，只要对老太婆献些小殷勤，对名流的谈话，不管怎样腻味，你都洗耳恭听，便是一个举目无亲的人也能钻进社交界。 可是，保罗?巴顿进的社交界和二十年前艾略特?谈波登辛辛苦苦钻进的社交界，完全是两个世界。这个世界一心只顾自己享乐。保罗?巴顿的豪兴、漂亮仪表和翩翩风度在几个星期之内就达到艾略特花了多年刻苦和决心所达到的程度。不久他就不需要艾略特的帮助，而且并不想法子遮盖这一事实，两人碰面时，巴顿还是很讨喜，可是，那种随随便便的派头，使这个年纪大的人非常生气。艾略特请的客人并不是根据自己喜欢不喜欢，而是看他们能不能使宴会开得好。由于巴顿的人缘不错，所以艾略特每星期请午宴时，仍旧邀他；但是，这个成功的年轻人一般都有约会，而且有一两次在最后五分钟时诉他的台。这样的事情艾略特自己过去做得太多了，明知道这是因为另外的一家请客，比艾略特的宴会更有吸引力。 “我也不要求你相信我的话，”艾略特气嘘嘘地跟我说，“可是，这是千真万确的事，我看见他时，他总要强过我。我。提香，提香，”他连话都说不连贯。 “就是有张提香，他也对面不识。” 我从来没有看见艾略特气成这个样子过。我猜想他所以发火是因为他认为保罗?巴顿问起这张画是出于恶意；他不知道怎样打听出艾略特买了这张画，就想利用这位高贵主人的回答拿艾略特开一次玩笑。 “他是一个卑鄙无耻的势利小人，世界上我最深恶痛绝的就是势利。要不是我，他什么都谈不上。你可想得到，他父亲是打办公室家具的。办公室家具。”这几个字他讲得特别不屑。“我告诉人家，他在美国是个提不上嘴的人，出身非常寒微，但是，他们好象并不在乎。你记着我的话，老兄。英国交际界整个儿完了，就象渡渡鸟[注]。” 艾略特认为，法国的情形也不大炒。他年轻时候的那些伟大妇女，如果还活着的话，都把时间花在打桥牌（他最讨厌的一种牌戏）、做祈祷和带领孙子孙女上面。 开厂的人，阿根廷人，智利人，和丈夫分居或者离了婚的美国妇女，住在贵族派头的华丽大厦，请起客来，竭尽豪华之能事，可是，艾略特在他们的宴会上碰到的都是法语发音鄙俗的政客，吃相难看的新闻记者，甚至演员，气得他直骂。名门望族的小儿子娶开店人家的女儿并不认为是丢脸。诚然，巴黎是热闹的，但是，这种热闹多么寒伧啊！那些年轻人一味疯狂地追求享乐，都认为再没有比在一家乌烟瘴气的小夜总会，喝一百法郎一瓶的香槟酒，挤在城里不三不四的人里面跳舞跳到天亮五点钟，更有意思的了。烟气、热气、嘈杂声，闹得艾略特头都痛了。这不是他三十年前所认为的精神家园的巴黎。这不是善良的美国人死后进入的巴黎[注]。