Chapter 22 Chapter Twenty

I couldn't see Marlena when I woke up, so I went to find her immediately, only to see her and Earl coming out of Uncle Alan's carriage. I'm glad to see August as miserable as I am, looking like a battered tomato.As Marina climbs onto the carriage, August curses at her and tries to follow her, but is blocked by Earl.In a fit of exasperation, August moved from window to window, holding on to the edge, weeping and remorseful. He will never do it again.He loves her more than life, and she must know it too.He didn't know what was wrong with him.You can ask him to make amends, anything!She's a goddess, she's a queen, and he's just a wretched wretch full of remorse.Can't she see how sorry he is?Did she want to torture him?Could it be that she has no conscience?

When Marina came out with her suitcase, she walked straight past him without even looking at him.She wore a straw hat with the brim pulled down over one bruised eye. "Marlena," he called, reaching out and grabbing her by the shoulders. "Let her go," Earl said. "Please, I beg you." August knelt down on the dust, slid his hand from Marlena's left arm all the way down to her hand, and then pulled her hand in front of him, crying like rain down, and kiss her hand.Her face was frosty, staring straight ahead. "Marlena, darling, look at me, I'm kneeling down for you, I beg you, what do you want from me? My heart, my dear, please come in with me, let's have a good time Let's talk, and there will be a solution." He rummaged in his pocket, took out a ring, and desperately tried to put it on Marlena's hand.Marina broke free from him and walked away.

"Marlena! Marlene!" he screamed, his face flushed even where the bruise was not, and his hair fell to his forehead. "You can't go! It's not over between us! Do you hear me? You are my wife, Marlena! Remember? We will never change in life or death." He got up, clenched his fists, and shouted loudly: "Life and death will never change!" Malena stuffed the suitcase to me and never stopped.I turned around, stared at her water snake waist, and followed her across the yellow grass.She didn't slow down until she reached the edge of the camp, so I could walk side by side with her.

We pushed open the hotel door, the bell above the door rang, and the counter raised his eyes in response, "Do you need help?" The expression on his face changed from joy to guard and then to contempt.On our way to the hotel, the expression changes of every passerby we met were exactly the same as his.A couple sitting on a bench by the gate glared at us. We also really stand out.The area around Malena's eyes turned dark blue, but at least the shape of her face remained the same.My face was swollen, the skin was broken, and there were layers of bruises and bleeding wounds. "I want a room," Marina said.

The teller looked at her with distaste and said, "We're full." He pushed his glasses with a finger, and looked back at the ledger. I put down my suitcase and stood beside her: "Your sign says there are vacancies." His lips were tightly pursed into a line: "That's a typo on the sign." Marina touched my elbow: "Forget it, Jacob." "I don't want to forget it." I turned to the teller and said, "This lady needs a room, and you obviously have a vacant room." He glanced suspiciously at Marina's left hand and raised an eyebrow. "We don't rent rooms to unmarried co-eds."

"It's not that we're sharing a room, it's just her." "Yeah," he said. "Be respectful, my friend. I don't like the overtones in your words." "Forget it, Jacob," Malena said again, turning even paler, staring at the floor. "I don't have any overtones," said the teller. "Jacob, come on, let's go to another hotel." Malena said. "Oh, I know who you are." The wife in the bench couple said, "You are the girl on the poster! Yes! I dare say it must be." She turned to the man beside her and said, "Nobo, this It's the girl on the poster! Isn't it? Miss, you are the pillar of the circus, right?"

"Wait a minute, I think we have—" the teller called. I slam the door. There is no moral scruples in another hotel separated from this hotel by retail investors, but I also dislike the teller.All he wanted to know was what was going on, and he looked us up and down, eyes sparkling, curious and cunning.If Malena's dark circles were the only scars on the two of us, I know what he'd infer about us.But since my injury was much worse than hers, he couldn't see why. "The room number is 2B." He hung the key on his finger and dangled it in front of him, staring at us greedily. "Go up the stairs and turn right, and go to the end of the corridor."

I follow Marina, staring at her beautiful buttocks, up the stairs. She inserted the key and tried to unlock the door, and after a minute she stood aside with the key in the lock. "I can't open it, can you try it?" I shook the key, and a few seconds later, the lock opened.I pushed open the door and stood aside to let Marina into the room.She threw the straw hat on the bed and went to the window.The window was open, and a gust of wind rolled up the curtain, first blowing the curtain into the room, then sucking it outside, sticking to the screen window. The room was modest but passable, with printed wallpaper and curtains and a chenille coverlet on the bed.The bathroom door is not closed, it is quite large, and the bathtub is the one with four legs.

I put down the suitcase and stood there in embarrassment.Marina's back was to me, and she had a bruise on her neck where August had pulled the necklace. "Is there anything else you need?" I flipped the hat in my hand. "No, thank you," she said. I looked at her again for a while.I really wanted to go over and take her into my arms, but instead I went out and closed the door gently. I couldn't figure out what to do, so I went to the animal tent to do routine work.Chop food, stir, and adjust portions.I inspected a yak for a dental abscess, shook hands with Bobo, and took Bobo along to examine other animals.

Diamond Joe came up behind me as I cleared the poo. "Uncle Ailan wants to see you." I stared at him for a moment before putting the shovel on the hay. Uncle Allan was in the social car, with a plate of steak and fries in front of him.He held a cigar and exhaled smoke rings, and his followers stood behind him with alert faces. I take off my hat. "You looking for me?" "Ah, Jacob." He leaned forward. "It's good to see you. Have you helped Marina?" "If you mean lodging, she's at the hotel now." "Accommodation, yes, but what about other things?"

"I don't understand you." He was silent for a moment, then put down his cigar and clasped his hands together. "In short, I can't lose any of them." "As far as I know, Marina has no plans to leave the circus." "August doesn't have that plan either. Think about it, what would happen if the two of them stayed in the regiment but didn't get back together. August's experience is beyond words." "You wouldn't suggest Marlena go back to him, would you?" He smiled and tilted his head. "August beat Marlena. Alan, he beat his wife." Uncle Ailan rubbed his chin, thinking. "True, but to be honest, I don't care about that kind of thing." He waved his hand and motioned for me to sit across from him. "sit down." I went forward and sat down with my butt against the edge of the chair. Uncle Allan tilted his head and looked at me. "Are the rumors true?" "What is true or false?" He tapped his fingers on the table and pouted angrily. "Aren't you and Marianna—well, how to put it—" "No." "Well, good. I think so, good, then you can come in handy." "What are you doing?" I said. "I'm going to persuade August, and you are going to persuade Marlena." "I won't do it." "You are a friend of their husband and wife, and your position is very difficult." "I'm no friend of August's." He sighed, putting on a patient expression. "You know August can be a different person sometimes, and it's not his fault." He leaned forward, staring into my face. "Oh my god, I'd better get a doctor to look at your injury." "I don't need to see a doctor. It's all August's fault, of course." He watched me and leaned back in his chair. "He's sick, Jacob." I am silent. "He's a hallucinatory psychopath." "what?" "Phantasy-type psychosis." Uncle Ailan recounted. "You mean delusional schizophrenia?" "What the hell is that. In a word, he's like a madman when it comes to his temper, and he's really talented, so we'll see what happens. Of course, Malena will be tougher than anyone else, and we Gotta support her." I shook my head, stunned. "Do you know what you're talking about?" "I can't do without either of them. If they don't get back together, I can't cure August." "He beat his wife," I said again. "Yes, I know, that's really sad, but after all, he's always her husband, isn't he?" I put my hat back on and got up. "Where do you want to go?" "Go back to work. I don't want to sit here and listen to you say that Marlena is August's wife, and it's okay to be beaten. I don't want to hear you say that August's beating was not his fault, who called He is crazy. If he is really crazy, Marina should stay away from him even more." "Sit down if you want to keep your job." "You know what? I don't give a damn." I headed for the door. "Farewell. I wish I could say it's been an honor to have worked for you." "And what about your little friend?" I froze, my hand still on the doorknob. "The little bastard who owns a dog," he mused. "And there's another—well, what's his name?" he thought, whacking the torreya. I turned around slowly, knowing what he was going to do. "Anyway, you know who I'm talking about. That useless cripple who's been eating and drinking for weeks and taking up my seat on the train without even doing a single job. What's he going to do? " My eyes widened, my teeth itched with hatred, and my cheeks were hot. "Do you really think you can hide someone under my nose without anyone noticing it? Do you think you can hide it from him?" He had a stern face and his eyes were like torches. His expression softened suddenly, he smiled warmly, and spread his hands in pleading. "You know you have completely misunderstood me. The members of the regiment are my family, and I care deeply about every member of the regiment. Sometimes people have to be sacrificed for the good of everyone. I know that, but you obviously don't. Now , this big family needs August and Marlena to get back together. Okay, do you understand my position?" I looked into his shining eyes and thought how I wish I could split his head with an axe. "Got it, sir. I totally get it," I said at last. Rosie put her foot on the tub and let me do my toenails.It has five toenails on one foot, just like a human.When I was working on its front legs, I suddenly noticed that all the people in the animal tent stopped their work.The workers all froze, staring at the entrance of the animal tent with wide eyes. I looked up, and it turned out to be August.He stopped in front of me.Her hair fell to the front and he brushed it back with one swollen hand.His upper lip was purple and split like a grilled sausage.His nose was flat and tilted to one side, with blood cakes clotted on it.He holds a lighted cigarette. "My God." He tried to smile, but his lips were too parted to make it.He took a deep breath. "It's hard to say who's hurt the most, isn't it, little brother?" "What are you doing?" I leaned over and wiped off the sharp corner of a big toenail. "Aren't you still holding grudges?" I said nothing. He looked at me for a moment. "Look, I know I've gone too far. Sometimes fantasy drives me crazy." "Yeah, is that the thing?" "Listen," he puffed out the smoke, "the past is the past, what do you think? We're still friends, buddy, right?" He held out his hand. I stood up straight with my arms hanging by my sides. "You hit her, August." Others looked at us silently.August looked stunned, his lips moved.He withdrew his hand and used that hand to hold the cigarette instead.His hands were bruised and his nails were cracked. "Yes, I know." I stepped back and looked at Rosie's toenails. "Poloznoge, Poloznoge. (Put your foot down.)" It lifted its huge feet and lowered them back to the ground.I kicked the upside-down tub towards its other front leg. "Noge! Noge!" Rosie shifted her weight and put her feet in the center of the pelvis. "Terazdoprzodu. (Come on, keep going.)" I poked the back of its legs with my nails until the feet moved forward, exposing the toenails over the edge of the basin.I said "good sister" and patted it on the shoulder.It raised its proboscis and smiled.I put my hand into its mouth and touched its tongue. "Do you know where she is?" August said. I leaned over to examine Rosie's toenails, and stroked the soles of her feet. "I have to see her," he went on. I started doing my toenails.The fine toenails splattered. "Okay, it's fine if you don't tell me." His tone was sour, "But she is my wife, and I will find her. Even if I have to search from hotel to hotel, I will definitely find her." I looked up just in time to see him flick off his cigarette.The cigarette flew up and landed in Rosie's open mouth with a sizzle.It growled, shook its head in panic, and used its proboscis to dig its mouth. August strode away.I turned to look at Rosie.It was looking at me with an unspeakable sadness on its face and teary amber pupils. Should have known he would go from hotel to hotel looking for someone.But I'm out of my head, and she's at the second hotel down the street at the moment, which couldn't be easier to find. Knowing that someone was watching me, I didn't dare to leave, and whenever I had a chance, I slipped out of the camp and rushed to the hotel.I waited on the corner for a minute, looking around to make sure no one was following me.When I was out of breath, I took off my hat, wiped my forehead, and went into the hotel. "What do you want?" He said, as if he had seen me before, as if he saw people with bruised noses and swollen faces every day. "I'm here to see Miss Larch." I remember Malena was registered under her maiden name. "Marlena Lachey." "There is no such person." "Why not? I just sent her to live here this morning." "I'm sorry, but your memory is wrong." I stared at him for a moment, then sprinted for the stairs. "Hey! My friend, come back to me!" I climbed the ladder, two steps at a time. "If you go up again, I will call the police!" "Please!" "I'm calling the police! I'm on the phone!" "very good!" I banged on the door with my less bruised hand. "Marlena!" A second later, the teller grabbed me, turned me around, and pushed me against the wall.He grabbed my collar and said against my face, "I told you, she's not here." "It's okay with him, Albert, this is my friend." Malena came to the corridor. He froze, blasting hot air into my face.His eyes widened, looking confused. "what?" "Albert?" I was also confused, "Albert?" "Then what about the previous one?" Albert said angrily. "That person is not him, but another person." "Has August been here?" I finally figured out the situation, "Are you okay?" Albert turned sharply to look at her, then back at me. "He is my friend, and he is the one who stood up against August." Marina explained. Albert let go of me, tried embarrassingly to straighten my coat, then held out his hand for a handshake. "Sorry, brother, you and that guy were printed out exactly the same mold." "Oh, never mind," I said, shaking his hand.He made a strong hand, and I couldn't help retracting my hand. "He's looking for you. We need to move you," I said to Marina. "Don't be stupid," Marina said. Albert interjected: "He's already been here. I told him she wasn't here, and he seemed to believe it. That's why I was surprised to see you—er—he came again." The downstairs doorbell rang, and Albert and I looked at each other. I hurriedly hugged Marlena into the room, and Albert hurried downstairs. "Need my help?" I heard him say as I closed the door, and judging by the tone of his voice, it wasn't August. I leaned against the door, gasping for breath of relief. "If you are willing to let me help you find a hotel farther away from the regiment, I will really feel relieved." "No, I want to stay here." "why?" "He's been here already. He thought I was in another hotel. Besides, I can't hide from him forever, and I have to go back to the train tomorrow." I didn't even think about it. She walked to the other end of the room, and when she passed the small table, she put her hand on the table and stroked it.Then he sat down on the chair, resting his head on the back of the chair. "He apologized to me like hell," I said. "Did you accept his apology?" "How is that possible," I said, offended. She shrugged. "If you accept, you'll have a better life. If you don't, you'll probably be fired." "He hit you, Marina!" She closes her eyes. "My God, has he always been like this?" "Yeah, um, he's never hit me before. But it's a cloudy temper. That's right. I never know how he'll feel when he wakes up." "Uncle Ailan said he is a fantasizing schizophrenic." She hangs her head. "Can you bear it?" "What choice do I have? I only found out after I married him. You've seen him, too, when he's happy, he can be the most charming person in the world. But if something makes him angry..." She Sighed, there was silence for a long time, so long that I wondered if she would finish the conversation.When he spoke again, his voice was trembling. "The first time I saw him in a fit, we'd only been married three weeks, it scared the hell out of me. He beat a man who was a tent worker so badly that he blinded him in one eye. I saw him do it. I called back to my parents and asked if I could come home, but they wouldn't even talk to me. Is it bad enough that I marry a Jew and want a divorce? My father forced my mother to tell me that in his eyes Here, on the day I eloped, I died." I cross the room, kneel beside her, and put my hand up to stroke her hair, but a few seconds later put my hand on the arm of the chair. "Three weeks later, a tent worker went to help August feed the big cat, and he bit off an arm and bled to death. We didn't have time to ask what happened. The season passed again. After a while, I found out that August was able to give me a team of show horses only because the previous trainer died. That person was also a woman. She went to August's box at night, and then Jumped off a moving train. There were other things. But it was the first time he pointed the finger at me." She slumped to the ground, and a moment later her shoulders began to twitch. "Oh, hey." I was at a loss. "Hey, okay, it's okay, Marlena, please look at me." She sat up straight, wiped her face, and looked into my eyes. "Will you stay with me, Jacob?" "Marlena—" "Hush." ​​She moved to the edge of the chair cushion, pressed a finger on my lips, slipped to the ground, and knelt in front of me, only a few centimeters away from me.I felt her fingertips quivering on my lips. "Please, I need you." After a hesitation that couldn't be shorter, she stroked my facial features, fingers tentatively, with gentle movements, barely touching my skin.I gasp and close my eyes. "Marlena—" "Don't say anything." She said softly, stroking my ears with trembling fingers and reaching the back of my neck.I was shivering, and the hairs all over my body stood on end. Her hands moved to my shirt and I opened my eyes.She unbuttoned it slowly, methodically.I looked at her, knowing I should stop her.But I can't.I am hopeless. When the shirt buttons were all unbuttoned, she pulled the hem out of my trousers and looked at me deeply.She leaned forward, and her red lips brushed against mine, so softly that it wasn't even a kiss, it was just touching the flesh.She paused for only a second, her lips so close to mine that I could feel her breath on my face.Then she leaned forward and kissed me, a light kiss, tentative but lingering.The next kiss was a little stronger, and the next one was even stronger.After a while, I kissed her back, cupping her face in my hands.Her hand moved to my chest, reaching down.I gasped when she touched my pants.She hesitated, running her fingers around the perimeter of my erection. She stops.I staggered, my knees were shaking.Still staring at me, she pulled my hands to her lips, kissed the palms of my left and right hands, and then took my hands to her chest. "Touch me, Jacob." I'm done, I'm dead. Her breasts were small and round, like lemons.I held her breasts and ran my thumbs over her breasts, feeling her nipples stand up against her cotton dress.I pressed my bruised lips to hers, and swam my hands over her chest, her waist, her thighs— She took off my trousers, held my words in her hands, and I pulled away. "Please, please, let me in." I gasped, my voice hoarse. Somehow we stumbled onto the bed.When I finally got into her tender body, I cried out. Afterwards, I curled up beside her like a spoon.We cuddled quietly until nightfall, and then she murmured and started talking.She moved her foot between my ankles, fiddled with my fingertips, and within a moment, the words poured out.She talked and said, I didn't need to respond, and I wasn't allowed to answer. I just hugged her and stroked her hair.She recounts the agony and fear of the past four years and how she has learned to accept a violent and volatile husband.He also said that it was not long ago that she finally learned to think.Finally, I came and forced her to realize that she had never learned to accept everything. When she finally fell silent, I continued to touch her, my hands gently stroking her hair, her arms, her buttocks.Then I start talking.I told her about my childhood and my mother's apricot roll cake.I told her about my father's veterinary clinics as a teenager, and how proud he was when Cornell accepted me.I told her about my life at Cornell and about Kathleen and about what I thought was love.I told her about my parents trying to dodge old Mr. McPherson's car, the car went under the bridge, and the bank took over our home, and how I broke down in the exam room, couldn't see the features on the faces of my classmates, and just left test field. In the morning we make love again.This time she took my hand and guided my fingers over her body.At first, I didn't know what she was doing, but when she trembled under my touch and met my hand, I realized that she was teaching me how to treat women.I could cry with joy. When she was done, she snuggled into my arms, scratching my face with her hair.I stroked her lightly, memorizing the curves of her body.I want her to be one with me like butter on toast.I want her to be a part of me. From now on, wherever I go, she will be in my flesh and blood. I need to. I lay still, savoring the sensation of her against my body.I dare not breathe, lest everything come to naught.