Chapter 15 Chapter Thirteen

I blinked, trying to make out where I was.The horse-faced nurse accidentally knocked over a tray of food at the other end of the hall, waking me up.So I dozed off.Traveling back and forth through time and space is common these days.Either I'm finally old and insane, or this is my subconscious's way of dispatching a mundane life. The nurse squatted down to pick up the food scattered on the floor.I do not like her.She was the caregiver who did everything possible to keep me from walking.I guess she can't bear to see my shaky steps, but even Dr. Rashid admits that walking is good for me, just not too much and not alone.

The nurse put my wheelchair in the hallway outside my room, but my family won't be here for several hours, so I wanted to look out the window first. I could have asked the nurse to push me over, but what's the point? I moved my hips to the edge of the wheelchair and reached for the walker. one two three-- Her pale face popped out of my face. "Mr. Jankowski, can I help you?" Hey, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. "Why, I just want to look out the window." I pretended to be surprised. "Why don't you do it in the wheelchair and I'll push you there?" she said, firmly holding the handle of the wheelchair with both hands.

"Oh, well, that's kind of you." I leaned back in the chair and pulled my feet back onto the footrests, hands resting on my lap. The nurse looked puzzled.God, her misalignment is really bad.She got up, and waited, probably ten to see if I would give it a go and try to walk on my own.I made an appointment with a smile, and my eyes swam to the window at the other end of the hall.Finally, she walked behind me and grabbed the handle of the wheelchair. "Well, Mr. Jankowski, frankly, I'm a little surprised. You usually... um... insist on going." "Oh, I can go by myself. I asked you to push it because there was no chair at the window. What's the matter?"

"Because there's nothing to see out of the window, Mr. Jankowski." "There's a circus." "That's only this weekend, usually there is only one parking lot." "What if I just want to see the parking lot" "Just watch it, Mr. Jankowski," she said, pushing me straight to the window. I frown.She should have bickered with me, why didn't she?Ah, I see.She thought I was just a bad old man with a broken head.Don't mess with the inmates to deliver, no, especially that old Jankowski guy, or he'll shoot you shitty jelly and claim it was an accident.

She walked away. "Hey! I haven't got my walker yet!" I yelled at her. "Call me when you don't want to look outside. I'll come and push you away." "No, I want a walker! The walker is always next to me, bring the walker!" "Mr. Jankowski—" She crossed her arms and sighed deeply. Rosemary came out from the side hall like an angel descending from the earth. "Is there a problem?" she said, looking at me, at the horse-faced girl, and then back to me. "I want a walker and she won't take it," I said. "I didn't say I wouldn't take it, I just said—"

Rosemary held up a hand to stop her from speaking. "Mr. Jankowski likes to keep his walker with him, always has. If he says he wants a walker, please do so." "But--" "Come on, go get it." Anger burned across the horse-faced girl's face, but was replaced by hostile resignation almost instantly.She cast a murderous look at me first, and then went to get the walker.She slammed the walker in front of her face, stomped across the hall to me, and slammed it down in front of me.If it weren't for the rubber-covered feet of the walker, the noise would have been a little more startling, with a harsh clang instead of a bang.

I smirk.I just can't help it. She stood there staring at me with her hands on her hips, no doubt waiting for me to thank her.I slowly turned my head away, raised my chin like an Egyptian pharaoh, and looked at the red and white striped canopy. Those stripes are so eye-catching.In our day, only food stalls had stripes, and the canopy was plain white, at least at first.By the end of the season, the white canopy may be stained with mud and grass juice, but it will never be streaked.This is not the only difference between this circus troupe and previous circuses.This group didn't even have a venue for juggling, only a big tent, there was a ticket booth at the entrance, and there was a stall selling snacks and souvenirs beside the ticket booth.Apparently they still sell the old stuff, popcorn, candy, balloons, but the kids have flashy swords and other shiny toys that can't be seen from the nursing home.I bet their parents must have offered a lot of money.Some things never change.A bumpkin is just a bumpkin, you can still tell who is an artist and who is a worker at a glance.

"Mr. Jankowski!" Rosemary leaned over me, searching my eyes. "what!" "Is lunch ready, Mr. Jankowski?" she said. "It's not even noon, I just got here." She looked at her watch, it was an authentic watch, the one with hands.The electronic watch broke in two or three strokes, thank God.What you have the ability to make may not necessarily be what you really should make.When will the world learn to behave? "Twelve in three minutes," she said. "Ah, well, what day is it today?" "Why, it's Sunday, Mr. Jankowski, today is the Lord's Day, and it's the day of betrothals."

"I know this, what I mean is what to eat today?" "I can assure you that today's menu is not to your liking," she said. I looked up, intending to get angry. "Hey, all right, Mr. Jankowski. Just kidding," she laughed. "I know. Hey, can't I show a sense of humor?" But I was really whispering in my heart.I may have really lost my sense of humor.I'm not sure about anything.I'm so used to people scolding me, pushing me around in a wheelchair, taking care of me, and doing everything for me. Now suddenly someone really treats me like a human being, and I don't know how to deal with it.

Rosemary tried to push me to my usual table, but I couldn't resist.As long as that old bastard McQuendy is here, it doesn't matter.He's wearing a paper hat again.Definitely got up early in the morning and ordered the nurse to put a paper hat on for him, what an idiot, maybe he didn't even take it off when he went to bed.The hydrogen balloon is still attached to the back of his wheelchair.At this moment, the balloon began to deflate, and it didn't move much in flight, and it floated weakly at the end of the thread. As Rosemary pushed my wheelchair toward him, I yelled, "Hmm, don't even think about it, over there! Go over there!" I pointed to an empty table in the corner, the one closest to my old seat. far table.I hope you don't hear the conversations at the old tables over there.

"Hey, come on, Mr. Jankowski," said Rosemary, stopping her wheelchair and coming up to me. "You can't be awkward with him for the rest of your life." "Who said, my whole life might only last until next week." She put her hands on her hips. "Do you remember what made you so angry?" "Of course I remember, because he lied." "And that elephant thing?" I pouted as an answer. "You know he doesn't think he's talking nonsense." "Absurd, to lie is to lie." "He's old," she said. "He is ten years younger than me." I straightened my back arrogantly. "Mr. Jankowski," said Rosemary, looking up with a sigh, as if asking for help.Then squatted down in front of my wheelchair and held my hand. "I thought you had a tacit understanding with me." I frowned, this is not how the dramas of Nuya are usually performed. "He may have misremembered the details, but he had no intention of lying. He genuinely believed that he had brought water to the elephants, and he genuinely believed it." I don't answer. "Sometimes, when a person is old—I'm not talking about you, I'm referring to the general situation, because the symptoms of aging are different for everyone—sometimes, when a person is old, the longing Things and desires become as if they are real, and then you start to believe that they are real, and before you know it, the fantasies become your past. If someone contradicts you at this time, saying that those are fake If you say, hey, you get offended because you don’t remember that it was just a fantasy in the first place, you just know you’ve been called a liar. So, even if you’re right, can you understand why Mr. McQuendy got angry?” I bowed my head sullenly. She continued to say softly, "Mr. Jankowski, let me push you to a friend's table, well, just do me a favor." Hey, so handsome.For the first time in so many years, a woman asked me to help, but it happened to be something I couldn't swallow. "Mr. Jankowski!" I look up at her.Her smooth face was half a meter away from me.She looked me straight in the eye, waiting for a response. "Hey, all right. But don't expect me to talk to people." I waved my hand in disgust. I kept silent during the dinner, listening to the old crook McQuendy talking about the wonderful performances of the circus and childhood memories, watching the silver-haired old ladies approaching him, listening to his mouth spitting, and his eyes radiating admiration Dreamy eyes.I was pissed off. Just as I was about to speak, I caught sight of Rosemary.She leaned over to help an elderly woman at the other end of the cafeteria, tucking a napkin into her neckline.But she stared at me. I shut up again, hoping she'd understand how hard I've been trying to hold my temper. She does understand.A tea-colored pudding drenched in cooking oil products sat in front of me, and after standing still for a while and taking it off, she bent down and whispered to me: "I knew you could do it, Mr. Jankowski, I knew it." "Hey, well, that's not easy." "It's better than sitting at a table alone, right?" "I guess so." She rolled her eyes again. "Okay, okay, sitting with someone is probably better than sitting alone." I said reluctantly.