Chapter 13 Chapter Eleven

During the first few hours of the drive to Chicago, Jinko taught Queenie to walk on her hind legs with small pieces of beef jerky.Queenie apparently recovered from her diarrhea. "Get up! Get up, Queenie! Good job, great job!" I lay on the bed, curled up facing the wall, every muscle in my body was as miserable as my heart, this must be a lesson.All the past events swirled in my mind, tangled up like a ball of thread.My parents sent me to Cornell while they were alive.The green and white ground beneath the dead bodies of my parents.Marina and I waltz in the animal tent.Malena swallowed her tears by the window this morning.Rosie is the proboscis who wants to touch and try everything.The three-meter-tall Rosie, motionless as a mountain, wailed under August's beating.August tap dances on top of a moving train.August seemed to have become one with the elephant, and became mad with anger.Barbara swings two papaya tits on stage.Barbara and Nell performed professional charms on me.

The events of last night hit me hard like a sledgehammer.I closed my eyelids tightly and tried to clear my head, but my head just couldn't.The more painful the memory, the more lingering it is. Queenie's excited screams finally died down.A few seconds later, the springs of Jinke's bed creaked a few times, and then fell silent again.I could tell he was looking at me.I rolled over to face him. He sat on the edge of the bed, barefoot, legs crossed, red hair disheveled.Queenie climbed up his lap, her hind legs flattened behind her like a frog. "What the hell did you do?" Jinko said.

The sun shone in through the gaps in the wooden slats behind him, flashing like a blade.I covered my eyes and put on a bitter face. "I really want to know. Where did you come from?" "Bouncing out of a rock." I rolled back to face the wall and pulled the pillow over my head. "What are you upset about, what happened last night?" Just hearing him mention last night, bile welled up in his throat. "Do you feel ashamed or what?" "Hey, for God's sake, can you spare me?" I was annoyed. He was silent.A few seconds later, I rolled over to face him again.He was still staring at me, stroking Queenie's ear.The puppy licked his other hand and wagged its short tail.

"I didn't mean to be rude to you, it's just that I've never done that in my life," I said. "Well, yes——Actually, it's obvious at a glance." I clutched my aching head with both hands.I'd give anything for four liters of water to freshen up— He went on: "Listen, that's no big deal. Next time you'll know how to drink responsibly, and as for the other thing—well, you bumped into me before, I gotta take you out. As far as I'm concerned Well, let's make it even. In fact, I even owe you a favor. Queenie won't have diarrhea after eating honey, which is like a cork. Hey, can you read?"

I blinked. "what?" "I mean, maybe you want to read instead of lying there sulking?" "I'd better just keep lying here and sulking." I closed my eyes tightly and covered my eyelids with my hands.My brain is too big, my skull is too small, my eyes hurt, I might throw up, and I have itchy balls. "Up to you," he said. "Maybe next time," I said. "Of course, whatever." silence. "Jin Ke!" "Ok?" "Thank you for lending me the book." "You're welcome." Longer silence. "Jacob!"

"Ok?" "You can call me Walter." My eyes widened under my hands. His bed creaked.He changed positions.I opened my fingers to peek.He folded the pillow in half, lay on it, and took a book out of the wooden box.Queenie settled down at his feet and looked at me, frowning worriedly. At dusk, the train arrived in Chicago.Although my head hurts and my muscles and bones ache, I still stand in front of the open door of the carriage and crane my neck to take a good look.After all, Chicago is where the world of music happens, and it's the capital of jazz, gangsters, and underground nightclubs.

There are many tall buildings in the distance.As I was trying to figure out which one was the rumored Allerton Hotel, the train passed through the area where the slaughterhouses converge.The zone stretches for kilometers and the train slows to a crawl.The buildings are flat and ugly, the corrals are full of animals, cows lowing in terror, filthy pigs sucking their asses against the pens.But that was nothing, the noise and smell coming from the building was appalling.Within a few minutes, the smell of blood and the piercing screams sent me flying back to my room in the sheep house, burying my nose in the moldy saddle mattress, trying not to smell the death smell.

My stomach is fragile enough that even though our camp was far from the slaughterhouse, I slumped in the car until the camp was fully set up.After that, I wanted to be with the animals, so I entered the animal tent and patrolled along the wall of the tent. Seeing hyenas, camels, and even polar bears sitting on the ground with their backs against the walls of their cages, gnawing ten centimeter-long teeth on the soles of their feet, made me love and pity.It's hard to describe the tenderness that suddenly grew in me.This emotion suddenly filled my heart, turbulent like a flood, solid like a square pillar, and dense like running water.

My father still felt obligated to continue treating animals long after he had not been billed for his visits.Although not taking money would be tantamount to killing himself, he just couldn't let a horse suffer from hernia, nor could he watch a cow give birth in an improper position.According to August and Uncle Allan's business methods, I am the only one in the regiment who can do my best for the animals.If it was my father, or if my father were here, he would definitely ask me to take care of them, for sure, I am 100% sure of this.No matter what happened last night, I can't leave the animals alone.I am their shepherd, their protector.Caring for animals is not just about duty.For my father, the job was a covenant with the animals.

There was one chimpanzee who needed a cuddle, so I hung him on my lower back and just went around the tent.I walked to a large clearing and realized that was where the elephants were.August must have been unable to get Rosie out of the car.If I have the slightest liking for him, I'll go see if I can help.But I don't have that heart. "Hey, doctor. Ortiz thinks the giraffe has a cold. Do you want to go see it?" Pete said. "Of course." I said. "Come on, Bobo," said Pete, reaching for the chimpanzee. The chimpanzee's furry arms and legs hugged me.

"Okay, I'll do it again." I tried to break his arms away. Popo stood still. "Okay." I said. It is indifferent. "Okay, I'll come down after one more hug." I said, putting my face on its black hair. The chimpanzee grinned and showed his teeth, kissed me on the cheek, then climbed to the ground, put one hand into Peter's palm, and walked away slowly. A small amount of mucus comes out of the giraffe's long nasal cavity.If it was a horse, I wouldn't worry about it.But I don't understand the physiology of giraffes, I'm not afraid of 10,000, just in case, so I decided to put a plaster on its neck.I climbed up the ladder and Ortiz was below handing me things. Gentle and beautiful, giraffes are quite possibly the strangest creatures I've ever seen.Its legs and neck are slender, and its body is slanted and covered with puzzle-like textures.The triangular-shaped head protrudes with odd furry warts just above the large ears.Its eyes were large and black, and its lips were as soft as velvet like a horse's.He is on the bridle and I hold the bridle for the medicine, but most of the time he stays still while I clean his nostrils and wrap a cloth around his neck.When I'm done, I climb down the ladder. "I have to take a short errand, can you cover me?" I asked Ortiz, wiping my hands with a rag. "Okay, what are you going to do?" "I have to go somewhere," I said. Ortiz squinted. "You don't want to get out of the way, do you?" "Huh? No, of course not." "You'd better do it honestly. If you're going to run away, I won't cover you when you do." "I didn't want to slip, why should I slip?" "Because of you...well, you know, because of certain things." "No way! I'm not going to slip away. Just stop talking about that, okay?" Who else hasn't heard about my embarrassment? I went out on foot and walked three kilometers to the residential area.The house was in disrepair and many of the windows were boarded up.I passed long lines of people waiting to receive relief supplies, listless people in rags, waiting to enter the relief centre.A black boy asked me if I wanted my shoes shined, and I said yes, but I didn't have a penny to pay. Finally, I saw the Catholic Church.I sat for a long time near the pews at the back, looking at the stained glass behind the altar.Although I longed for forgiveness, I could not confess to the priest.Finally, I left the chair and went to light candles for my parents. Just as I turned to leave, I caught a glimpse of Marlena.She must have come while I was lighting the candles.I could only see her back, but it was definitely her.She was sitting on the front bench, wearing a canary yellow dress and hat of the same color.She had a fair neck and straight shoulders, and locks of tawny hair slipped from under the brim of her hat. She knelt on the cushion and prayed, and my heart clenched tightly. I left the church to not allow myself to further destroy the soul. When I got back to camp, Rosie was already in the tent.I don't know how it got there, and I didn't ask. As I approached, it smiled at me, rolling the tip of its proboscis into a meaty ball to rub its eyes.I watched it for two minutes, then stepped into the rope that bounded it.Its ears were pressed against its body, and its eyes squinted.It seemed that it was wary of me, and my heart sank.Then, I heard his voice. "Jacob!" I looked at Rosie for a few more seconds before turning to face him. "Listen, I've been a little rude to you these two days," August said, scratching the toe of his boot on the ground. I should say a few words to make him feel more at ease, but I didn't open my mouth, and I had no intention of explaining the past to him. "I just wanted to tell you that I was a little too much for you. You know, because of the pressure of work. Stress can change people." He held out his hand. "Are we still friends?" I hesitated for a few seconds before shaking his hand.He is my immediate boss, since I decided to stay, I can't do something that would make him fire me, otherwise it would be too unwise. "Good job," he said, squeezing my hand tightly and putting his other arm around my shoulder. "I'll take you and Marina out tonight to make it up to you. I know a great little shop." "What about the night scene?" "There's no need to start tonight, and no one knows we're here. If we don't follow the schedule and go on a rampage, that's the problem." He sighed, "But Uncle Ailan knows how to do the best. Obviously so." "Really? Last night was a little... unpleasant." "That's trifle, Jacob! Trifle. You come at nine." He smiled brightly and strode away. I watched him go, wondering how much I hated being with him, and how much I wanted to be with Marina. The door of their wing opened, and it was Marlena who answered the door.She was beautiful in red satin. "What's wrong?" She looked down at herself. "Did you get something on your clothes?" She turned around, examining her torso and legs. "No. You look beautiful." She raised her eyes to meet mine. August came out from behind the green curtain, wearing a white tie.He glanced at me and said, "You can't dress like this." "I have no other clothes." "Then you have to borrow it, go ahead, but you have to hurry up, the taxi is waiting." We traversed the parking lot, through the back streets and alleys, as if navigating a maze.Suddenly, the taxi stopped at the corner of the industrial area.August got out of the car and handed the driver a rolled-up bill. "Come on," he said, leading Marina out of the back seat, and I followed. We were in an alley lined with huge red brick warehouses.Street lamps illuminate the rough tarmac.The wind blew the trash against the wall on one side of the alley, and on the other side there were parked cars, roadsters, coupes, sedans, even limousines, all shiny and new car. August walked to a recessed wooden door, knocked briskly, and waited, tapping his foot to time.A rectangular door hole was opened, and a pair of man's eyes and thick unibrows appeared in the hole.Behind him came the rhythm of the party. "What's up?" "Let's listen to the music," August said. "What song is it?" "Why, Frankie's song, or who else," said August, smiling. When the door was closed, there was a click first, and then a bang. You could tell it was the sound of the anti-theft lock being opened.The door opened. The man glanced us up and down, then beckoned us in, slamming the door.We pass through a tiled hallway, have our clothes checked by uniformed clerks, and descend a few steps to a marble ballroom.Luxurious crystal chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, an orchestra plays on the platform, and the dance floor is full of couples of dancers.Tables and U-shaped boxes surround the dance floor.A few steps beyond the dance floor, there is a wooden bar against the wall, bartenders in tuxedos, and countless bottles lined up on shelves in front of foggy mirrors. Marina and I sat in a leather box while August went to order wine.Malena looked at the orchestra, crossed her legs, shook her feet and turned her ankles to the beat of the music. A glass of wine is slammed in front of me, and a second later August sits down next to Marina.I look into the contents of the glass.It's Scotch whiskey on the rocks. "Are you all right?" Marina said. "It's okay." I said. "You're a little blue," she went on. "We Jacob is just a little hungover. Let's give him a drink and see if it clears up," August said. "Well, if I'm going to disturb the two of you if I sit here, tell me again." Malena looked suspiciously back at the band. August raised his glass. "Respect friendship!" Marlena turned her eyes back, and once she saw the position of the wine glass, she looked away.She picked up the wine glass, clinked the glasses with us, sipped lightly through the straw, and fiddled with the straw with her Danko-painted nails.August fell flat.The moment the liquid touched my lips, my tongue instinctively blocked the liquid from entering my throat.August was looking at me, so I put down my glass by faking a swallow. "That's it, my good man. A few more drinks and you'll be all right." How about me personally I don't know, but Malena downed her second glass of bubbly brandy Alexander and she came alive and dragged August onto the dance floor.August led her in a circle while I leaned forward and poured my wine into the palm pot. Marina and August returned to the box, dancing until their cheeks were rosy.Malena sighed, picked up a track and fanned herself.August lit a cigarette. His eyes fell on my empty wine glass. "Oh, look at me for being negligent." He stood up, "Another round?" "Oh, what the hell," I said, unmotivated.Malena just nodded, and was attracted by the dance floor again. Thirty seconds after August left, she jumped up and grabbed my hand. "What are you doing?" I laughed.She is pulling my arm. "Come on! Let's go dancing!" "what?" "People love this song!" "I can't—I—" But it was useless, I had already stood up.She dragged me onto the dance floor, shaking my head and hitting the torreya.When we were surrounded by dancers, she turned to face me.I took a deep breath, pulled her into my arms, waited two beats, and started to dance, floating and sinking in the sea of ​​people on the dance floor. She was as light as the air, and she didn't miss a single beat. It's really not her fault, but my dance steps were clumsy enough.It's not that I can't dance, I can.It's just that I don't know which muscle is wrong, and I'm sure I'm really not drunk. She spun away from me, then back, slipped under my arms, with her back against me.My forearm rests against her collarbone, skin to skin.Her breasts heaved under my arms, her head was under my chin, her hair was fragrant, and her dancing body was hot.Then she left my arms again and stretched her body like a ribbon. When the music stopped and the dancers whistled and clapped their hands on their heads, no one responded more enthusiastically than Malena.I glance at our box seats.August stares, arms folded.I was taken aback and distanced myself from Marlena. "Police raid!" Everyone froze for a moment, and then there was a second yell. "Assault! Run!" The crowd pushed me forward.People were screaming, jostling, and trying to get out of the way.Malena was in front of me, a few people away from me.She looked back, looking across the shaking head and terrified face. "Jacob! Jacob!" she cried. I struggled to move towards her, pushing past the others. I grabbed a hand in a sea of ​​people, and seeing Marlena's expression, I knew it was her hand.I clung to her and scanned the crowd for August, but I saw only strangers. Marina and I were pushed apart at the door.A few seconds later, I was pushed out of an alleyway.People were screaming, climbing into cars, starting engines, honking horns, tires whine. "Come on! Come on! Come on!" "The car is going away!" Malena appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my hand.We fled side by side, sirens blared, whistles blew.When the gunshots came, I grabbed Marlena and dodged into a narrow alley. "Wait." She whispered, stopped, and hopped off a shoe.Then grabbed my arm and took off the other shoe. "Okay." She held two shoes in one hand. We ran and ran until we could no longer hear sirens, human voices, or squealing tires.We ran around the back streets and alleys, and finally stopped under an iron fire escape ladder to catch our breath. "My God. My God, it was just a little bit. I don't know if August escaped." Marina said. "I hope so," I said, also out of breath.I bent over and put my hands on my thighs. After a moment, I looked up at Marina.She looked directly at me, breathed through her mouth, and started laughing wildly. "What's wrong?" I said. "Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing." She couldn't stop laughing, but she was about to cry. "What's the matter?" I said. "Oh, just laughing at how crazy life is, nothing. Do you have a handkerchief?" she said, sniffling and putting a finger up the corner of her eye. I patted my pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.She took it, wiped her forehead first, and then patted her entire face again. "Oh, I'm such a mess. Oh, look at my socks!" she screamed, pointing to her bare feet.Toes are coming out from where the sock is torn. "Oh, these are silk stockings!" Her voice was unnaturally high. "Marlena, are you okay?" I said softly. She clenched her hands into fists and held them to her lips, moaning.I reached for her arm, but she turned away.I expected her to be facing the wall, but she continued to spin, round and round like an Islamic dervish.On the third turn, I grabbed her by the shoulders and put my mouth on hers.She was stunned, and gasped, which was like sucking air from between my lips.After a moment, she softened and reached for my face with her fingertips.Then she left my arms abruptly, backed up a few steps, and looked at me with horrified eyes. "Jacob, my God—Jacob," her voice broke. "Marlena, I'm sorry, I shouldn't belittle you." I took a step forward and stopped. She stared at me, one hand over her mouth, a dark void in her eyes.Then she leaned against the wall, put on her shoes, and looked at the asphalt. "Marlena, don't do this." I stretched out my hands, feeling so helpless. She adjusted the second shoe and ran, stumbling forward. "Marlena!" I said, following a few steps. She rushed faster and faster, covering her face with one hand so that I would not see her. I stop. She continued walking, knocking out of the alley. "Marlena! Don't do this!" I watched her turn, hands still covering her face, obviously not wanting me to see. I groped for hours until I got back to camp. On the way, I saw people's legs sticking out of the door, and I saw notices for distributing relief supplies.I saw "Closed" marked in the window and it was immediately obvious that they were closed.I saw notices saying "No Shortage of Manpower" and a notice in a second-floor window saying "Training for Class Struggle".I saw a sign in a grocery store that read: No money? what do you have We charge everything! I pass a newspaper box.The headline reads "Handsome Floyd Robbed Again: Lost $4,000 in Bank, People Cheer." More than a kilometer from the circus, I passed a group of homeless people.There was a fire in the middle of the clearing, and everyone gathered around it.Some never fell asleep, sitting and staring at the flames.Someone was resting flat on folded clothes.I was close enough to see their faces, and I could see that they were probably young, younger than I was.There are some girls there too.There are two people making out, not even hiding behind the grass, just staying away from the fire.One or two boys looked at them indifferently.Those who have fallen asleep take off their shoes, but the laces are tied around their ankles. An older man sat by the fire.His chin was covered with stubble, or ringworm, or both.His cheeks were sunken like those of a toothless man.Our eyes met and looked at each other for a long time.I wondered why there was so much hostility in his eyes until I remembered I was in evening gown.There's no way he'd know that I've borrowed all my outfits, and we're not exactly the same.I resisted the irrational urge to explain everything to him and continued on my way. Finally back at the circus camp.I stood and stared at the mantle.The gigantic silhouette of the mantle against the night sky.After a few minutes, I found myself standing in front of the elephant.All I could see was a dark shadow, and only after my eyes had adjusted to the light.It is sleeping, its huge body is still, only the sound of slow breathing.I wanted to touch it, to put my hands on that rough, warm skin, but I couldn't bear to wake it up. Bobo lay in the corner of his cage with one hand on his head and the other on his chest.It sighed deeply, smacked its lips, and rolled over on its side.It's really human. Finally, I went back to the show carriage and curled up on the bedding.Neither Queenie nor Walter was woken by my entry. I lay awake till dawn, listening to Queenie snoring, feeling miserable.Less than a month ago, I was just days away from earning an Ivy League degree and running a business alongside my father.And now?I was in the same position as a bum, stuck in a circus, and humiliated myself not once, but twice in two days. Yesterday, I didn't believe there could be anything more embarrassing than vomiting on Nell, but last night I did.What the hell am I thinking? I don't know if she will tell August.From time to time brief images of being hit on the head with an elephant hook flashed through my mind, and in a later, even briefer image, I saw myself getting up and walking back to the homeless at this very moment.But I didn't get up.I can't part with Roxie, Bobo, and the other animals. I will cheer up.I will quit drinking.I will never be alone with Marina again.I will confess to the priest. I wiped away my tears with the corner of the pillow, then closed my eyes tightly, imagining my mother's face.I tried to keep my mother's face in my mind, but it wasn't long before Marlene took its place.First she watched the band shake her feet indifferently, then she turned around with me on the dance floor in high spirits, and then in the alleyway, she changed from hysterical to terrified. But my last thought was about touch.The underside of my forearm was against her protruding breasts.Her lips were soft and full under mine.There is another detail that I can't figure out and can't shake off to haunt me to sleep, that is, the feeling of her fingertips touching my face. A few hours later, Jinco -- Walter -- woke me up. "Hey Sleeping Beauty, raise the flag." He shook me. "Okay, thanks." I didn't move. "You won't get up." "What a genius, how do you know?" His voice was almost an octave higher. "Hey, Queenie—come over here, sister! Over here, sister! Come on, Queenie, lick him, sweetie!" Queenie jumped on top of me. "Hey, stop it!" I said, throwing an arm up in defense.Queenie stuck her tongue in my ear and moved her feet over my face. "Stop making trouble! Be good!" But it just wouldn't stop, so I sat up and Queenie flew to the ground.Walter looked at me and laughed.Queenie squirmed up my thigh and stood on her hind legs, licking my chin and neck. "Good girl, Queenie, sweet baby. Jacob—looks like you've had another—uh—fun night," said Walter. "Not really." I replied.Anyway, Queenie was on my lap, so I started stroking it.This is the first time it let me touch it.Its body is warm and its hair is like wire. "You're going to be top-heavy again very quickly, go get something to eat, food can make your tummy feel better." "I didn't drink anything last night." He looked at me for a moment. "Ah." He nodded with a look of understanding. "What do you mean?" I said. "I got into trouble with a woman," he said. "no." "It's strange." "That's not it!" "I'm surprised Barbara forgave you so quickly, or did she not forgive you at all?" He stared at my face for a few seconds, then started nodding again. "Well, I dare say I see something. You didn't send her flowers, did you? You'll have to take my advice later on." "Stop meddling in other people's affairs." I said angrily, put Queenie on the ground, and stood up. "Wow, your temper is really not ordinary. How about it, let's go and eat something, let's go." When our plates were full, I followed Walt to his table. "What are you doing?" He stopped. "I thought we were going to eat together." "No way. Everyone has their own table. Besides, if you sit with me, your status will be pulled down." I hesitated. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he said, glancing at my usual table.August and Marina ate breakfast in silence, each staring at their plates.Walt's eyes flickered. "What -- no way." "I didn't tell you shit," I said. "Do you still need to say it? You can see through it at a glance. Listen, boy, some things must never be overstepped, do you hear me? This is just an analogy. And literally, it is the day you have to get over table, pretending to be okay." I look again at August and Marina.They are clearly blind to each other. "Listen, Jacob, he's the most vicious bastard I've ever seen, so whatever you're up to—" Walter said. "No tricks, absolutely nothing—" "—you can't do it anyway, or you'll lose your life. If you're lucky, you'll go to the red light, and it'll probably be when the train crosses the bridge. I mean it. Now Go over to their table." I glared down at him. "Come on!" he said, with a quick wave of his hand towards the table. August looked up at me as I approached the table. "Jacob! You're all right, that's great. I don't know if you found your way back last night. If I get bailed out of the prison, I'm afraid it's not very good. You know, it might give the regiment Get in trouble," August yelled. "I'm also worried about you two." I sat down. "Really?" He pretended to be extremely surprised. I look up at him.His eyes were piercing, his mouth was crooked and he smiled, with a weird look on his face. "Oh, we made our way back just fine, didn't we, dear?" he said, casting a glance at Marina. "Jacob, please tell me, why did you two get separated? You were on the dance floor... so close." Marlena raised her head quickly, her cheeks flushed and said: "I told you last night, we were separated by the crowd." "I'm asking Jacob, dear, but thank you for answering." August picked up the toast with exaggerated movements, pursing his lips and grinning. "It was really crowded at the time." I said, picked up the fork, and stuck the fork under the egg, "I wanted to follow her, but I couldn't. I ran to the back to find you two, and I found it once. I still think it’s the best way to go.” "Smart, good brother." "Did you two meet later?" I asked, putting the fork in my mouth, pretending to be indifferent. "No, we each took a taxi back, so it cost an extra fare. However, as long as it can ensure that my beloved wife is safe and sound, I am willing to spend a hundred times more, right, dear? " Marina stared at her plate. "I said, didn't I, dear?" "Yes, of course." She said flatly. "God knows what I'd do if I thought she was in any danger." I looked up quickly, and August was staring at me.

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