Chapter 9 Chapter nine

There was the sound of a car in the driveway, and I jumped up. It must be the Beatrices.I looked at the clock, it was twelve o'clock, I didn't expect them to come so early.Maxim hasn't come home yet.I don't know if I can jump out of the window and hide in the garden.Thus, if Frith took them into the morning room and saw that I was not there, he would say: "The madam is probably out." I ran to the window, and the two dogs looked at me questioningly, and Jesper followed, wagging his tail.Outside the window is a platform, and beyond that is a small grass field.Just as I was about to jump out of the window past the heather, I heard voices approaching, so I hurried back into the room again.Sure, Frith told them I was in the showroom, and they came in by the garden road.

I walked quickly into the large living room and went straight to a door near the left.Outside the door is a long stone corridor.I bolted down the aisle, fully aware that I was making a stupid mistake again.This sudden nervousness made me despise myself, but I knew that I couldn't see the guests at this moment anyway. The corridor probably leads to the back of the house.Turning a corner, I came to another flight of stairs.Here I ran into a maid I had never seen before. She was carrying a mop and a wooden bucket, probably a handyman.She looked at me in amazement, as if she had seen a ghost, obviously not expecting to meet me here.I said "good morning" flusteredly, and ran to the stairs.

She replied, "Good morning, ma'am," with her mouth wide open and her eyes wide open, watching me curiously as I climbed the stairs. I thought going up the stairs must be the bedroom, and I could find my own apartment in the East Wing, and hide in it until lunchtime, when worldly etiquette forced me to go downstairs. I probably got the orientation wrong.For going through a door at the head of the stairs, I found myself in a long corridor.I have never seen this corridor before. It is more or less similar to the one in the East Wing, only wider, and also darker than the East Wing because of the wainscoting on the walls.

I hesitated, then turned left and came to another spacious landing.It was dead silent, dimly lit, and there was no one around.If there had been a maid cleaning here in the morning, it would have been finished and downstairs by now, without leaving any traces, without the dusty smell that comes from sweeping carpets.I stood there alone, not knowing which direction to go.Surprisingly quiet all around, it's almost like someone going to an empty mansion, and being in it makes people feel quite depressing. I opened a door casually and came to a dark room.The shutters were all closed so that no light could come in, but I could vaguely see the outline of the furniture wrapped in white sheets in the center of the room.The room was very stuffy, with a musty smell, like the kind of room that was rarely used. When there were no occupants, all kinds of furnishings were piled in the middle of the bed, and a quilt was covered.Maybe the drapery hasn't been drawn since last summer, and now if you go and draw it, open the creaky shutters, maybe a dead moth that's been shut in for months falls on the carpet , side by side with a long-forgotten pin, and a dead leaf which had been blown into the room before the window was last closed.

I closed the door softly and walked along the corridor in a daze.There are closed rooms on both sides.At last I came to a small corner recessed from the outer wall.Here's a big window that finally gives me light.Looking out from here, there is a flat grassland below, and the grassland extends out to the sea.A gust of westerly wind was blowing on the sea, stirring up white waves on the bright green water, rippling away from the shore quickly. The sea is close at hand, much closer than I originally imagined.The sea runs just below the foot of a grove of trees, just five minutes away from here.If I put my ear close to the window, I can still hear the waves breaking against a little bay somewhere nearby.

Only then did I realize that I had come full circle and was standing in the corridor of the West Wing.Mrs. Danvers was right; yes, the sea can be heard here.One could even imagine the sea creeping up onto the land in winter, flooding the lawn and endangering the house itself.Even at this moment, because of the strong wind, the window panes were already covered with steam, as if someone had breathed on them, it was a light, salty mist from the sea. A dark cloud is in the sky which has lost the sun.The sea suddenly became dark, and the white waves rushed violently, no longer the cheerful and shining appearance I saw just now.

I don't know why, but I'm glad that I live in the East Wing. I'd rather watch the rose garden than listen to the roar of the sea! I walked back to the platform at the top of the stairs, holding on to the railing with one hand and preparing to go downstairs.Then I heard the door behind me open, and Mrs. Danvers appeared.Neither of us spoke, and stared at each other for a while.As soon as she saw me, she immediately put on a mask, so that I could not tell whether her eyes were angry or curious.Although she didn't say anything, I felt guilty again, ashamed as if I had been caught for trespassing on someone's house.My face flushed red, tantamount to telling her that I had a ghost in my heart.

"I'm going the wrong way," I said. "I would have liked to go to my room." "You've come across the room," she said. "This is the West Wing." "Yes, I know", I said. "Did you go into any of the rooms?" she asked. "No," I answered quickly. "No. I just opened a door and looked, but I didn't go in. It's very dark in there, and everything is covered with sheets. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mess things up. You probably want to leave this place Everything is locked in the house and stored away."

"If you want to open it, I'll do it right away," she said. "You only have to order them. The rooms are furnished and ready to use." "Oh no," I said. "I didn't mean that, please don't think so." "Maybe you want me to show you all the rooms in the West Wing?" I quickly shook my head and said, "No, I didn't think so, oh, I have to go downstairs." I walked down the stairs, and she followed me like a guard escorting a prisoner. "Anytime, as long as you are free, just tell me, and I will show you these rooms in the West Wing." She repeatedly wanted to show me the rooms, which made me vaguely uneasy.The reason, I do not understand.Her firm tone reminded me of a time when I was a child, when I went to a friend's house to play, there was an older daughter in that house, she took my arm and whispered in my ear: "I know that when Mama There is a book hidden in the closet in the bedroom, how about it? Go and read it?" I remember that when she spoke, her face turned pale with excitement, her shining eyes widened, and she kept pinching my arm.

"I can take the covers off so you can see these rooms as they are," Mrs. Danvers said. "I could have shown you this morning, but I thought you were writing in the morning room. Please ring up and come to my room whenever you have an order. It won't take much time to clean and furnish these rooms .” By this time we had descended the short flight of stairs.She pushed open a door and sideways let me walk through.Her dark eyes searched my face. "Mrs. Danvers, it's very kind of you," I said. "I'll trouble you later." We walked to the stairs outside the door together, and only then did I realize that I was standing at the top of the grand staircase, just behind the bard gallery.

"How did you go the wrong way?" she asked me. "The door to the west wing is very different from this one." "I didn't go in this direction," I said. "Then you must have come from the back, from the stone corridor to the west?" she said. "Yes." I dare not meet her eyes. "I walked in the direction of Shizhu Road." She continued to stare at me as if to explain why she had suddenly left the morning room in a panic and ran to the back of the house.I suddenly realized that she must be watching my every move in the dark, maybe since I broke into the west wing, she has been peeping at me from the crack of the door. "Mrs. Lacey and Major Lacey have been here for a while," she told me. "Just after twelve o'clock, I heard their car approaching." "Ouch," I said. "I don't know!" "Fris must have led them into the morning room. It's almost half past twelve. Do you know which direction to go now?" "I see, Mrs. Danvers," I said, going down the grand staircase and into the hall.I knew she must still be standing there, staring at me. Now he had to go back to the exhibition room to see Maxim's sister and brother-in-law, and he could no longer hide in the bedroom.As I entered the living room, I looked back over my shoulder.Sure enough, Mrs. Danvers was still standing on the stairs, watching me like a sentinel in black. Putting my hand on the door, I stood outside the morning room for a while, listening to the voices in the room.There seemed to be a lot of people in the room. So while I was upstairs, Maxim had returned, probably with his steward.I suddenly felt nervous, and my heart seemed to be suspended in mid-air. I often felt this way when I was called to salute guests in my childhood. I twisted the doorknob and rushed in rashly.Everyone stopped talking, and all faces turned towards me. "Oh, here she is at last," said Maxim. "Where have you been hiding? We're going to send out to find you. This is Beatrice, this is Giles, this is Frank? Crowley. Hey, watch out, you almost stepped on a dog." Beatrice was tall, broad-shouldered, and good-looking, with eyes and jaws like Maxim's. But she wasn't as pretty as I had imagined, and Beatrice was rough as a man, quite the dog-crazed, riding-and-shooting sort.She didn't kiss me, she just squeezed my hand tightly and looked me straight in the eyes. She turned to Maxim and said, "It's not what I imagined. It's not at all what you describe." Everyone laughed.I had no choice but to grin in agreement, wondering if everyone was laughing at me; also, what did she imagine me to be like?And how did Maxim describe my face to her? Maxim touched my shoulder and introduced me to Giles.Giles extended a fat hand and shook my hand so tightly that my fingers were numb.His gentle eyes smiled at me behind horn-rimmed glasses. "This is Frank Crowley," said Maxim, introducing the Steward to me.The man's face was pale and bony, with a prominent Adam's apple.When he looked at me, I detected a look of relief in his eyes.Why is that?But before I could think about it, Frith came in and served me sherry.Beatrice also came to talk to me: "Maxim said you just arrived last night. I don't know, otherwise, we wouldn't bother you today. Well, what do you think of the place near Manderley?" Sample?" "I haven't had time to take a good look at it yet," I replied. "Of course, it's a beautiful place." As I expected, she looked me over from head to toe, but in a direct and frank manner, not full of malice and hostility like Mrs. Danvers's.She has a right to judge me, because she is Maxim's sister after all. Maxim came over, took my arm, and cheered me up. Beatrice looked at Maxim with her head on one side, and said to him, "You're looking better, boy, thank God the old ecstasy is gone." Then she nodded to me. Say, "I guess we have to thank you for that." Maxim replied impatiently, "I have always been healthy and never sick. In your opinion, anyone who is not as fat as Giles must be sick." "Hu Zhi," Beatrice said. "You know very well yourself that you were almost completely broken six months ago. The last time I came to see you, I was so frightened that I thought you were going to fall ill and never recover. Tell me, Giles, Didn't Maxim look scary enough the last time we came here? And, did I say he was going to fall ill this time?" Giles said: "Well, boy, let me say, you look like a different man. Good thing you got out for a run. Crowley, he looks healthy, doesn't he? " Maxim's muscles tensed under my arm, and I knew he was suppressing his anger.For some reason, talking about his health offended him, even made him angry.And that Beatrice really can't read her face, but she is always talking like this, and she has to prove herself right. "Maxim's got a tan," I put in sheepishly. "So he looks all right. You haven't seen him in Venice yet, eating breakfast on the verandah, trying to get a tan because he thought it made him look better." Everyone laughed.Mr. Crawley went on to say: "Mrs. de Winter, Venice must be very beautiful in this season, isn't it?" Sim?" In this way, the subject was deftly diverted from his health to Italy and the fine weather, and it was safe to talk about these subjects.At this time, the atmosphere becomes natural and smooth again without any effort.Maxim and Beatrice were talking about how well my car was being maintained, while Mr. Crawley asked me if the legend that the canals were now steamboat-only and no more tondolas true.I knew in my heart that even if there are big ships moored in the Grand Canal of Venice today, it has nothing to do with him.He asked only to give me a helping hand, to divert the conversation away from Maxim's health. Mr. Steward is not good looking, but he is a good helper, I am very grateful to him. Beatrice kicked the dog and said, "Jesper needs exercise. He's not two years old yet, and he's so fat. What are you feeding him, Maxim?" Maxim said, "Dear Beatrice, isn't it just like your dog? Well, stop showing off here, as if you know more about animals than I do." "My dear boy, how do you know what they feed Jasper when you've been away for months? I can't believe that Frith took him to the gate twice a day. From the color of his coat, the dog Haven't walked my legs in weeks." "I'd rather see him fat than your dumb, hungry dog," said Maxim. "My family's 'big army' won two first prizes in the Clough dog race in February, and you are saying such nonsense!" The atmosphere was tense again, I could see it from the tense muscles at the corners of Maxim's mouth.I'm really surprised, do sisters and brothers have to quarrel like this when they meet together, making the people next to them suffer along with them.How I wish Frith came to announce dinner at this moment.Maybe, the sound of the gong is used to call people into the restaurant for dinner?Manderley has a set of rules that I don't know yet. I sat down beside Beatrice and asked her, "Do you live far away? Do you have to start early in the morning to get here?" "We're fifty miles from here, my dear, and we live in the next county a little past Trochester. We've got much better hunting there than here. When will Maxime let you out and live with us?" Let Giles teach you how to ride a horse for a few days." "I can't hunt," I had to tell the truth. "When I was a child, I learned to ride a horse, but it was very bad, and now I have almost forgotten it." "Then learn again! How can you live in the country if you don't know how to ride a horse? Then you will have nothing to do all day long. Maxim said you can draw, which is not bad, but it's not good for your health. That thing can only be used on rainy days." It relieves you when you have nothing else to do." Maxim said, "I'm like Beatrice, we're not like you, we can't live without fresh air." "Didn't talk to you, boy! Everyone knows you like to walk and think about your thoughts in Manderley's garden, and you don't even want to walk faster." I quickly went on to say: "I also like walking. It seems that I will never get bored of walking in Mandali. When the weather is warmer, I can also take a bath in the sea." Beatrice said: "My dear, you take things too lightly! I don't think I've ever taken a sea-bath around here. The water is too cold, and the beach is full of pebbles." "What does that matter?" I said. "I love sea bathing, as long as the tide isn't too high. Are the bays here safe?" No one answered my question.Suddenly, I realized that I had said something I shouldn't have said.My heart was pounding violently, and my face was as red as fire.Confused, I had to bend down and stroke Jasper's long ears. Beatrice broke the silence: "Jesper should go swimming and lose a little fat. But swimming in the bay, the beast may not be able to handle it. Isn't it? Dear Jesper, my good fellow?" The two of us together They caressed the spaniel without looking at each other. Maxim yelled, "I'm really hungry. What's the matter, lunch can't be served?" Mr. Crawley said: "Look at the clock on the mantel. It's not one o'clock." "That clock is always fast," said Beatrice. "The clock has been going pretty well for months," said Maxim. Just then the door opened and Frith came in to announce that lunch was ready. Giles looked at his hands and said, "Looks like I need to wash my hands." Everyone stood up, and I strolled across the living room to the hall with a sigh of relief.Beatrice took my arm and walked a little ahead of me. "Dear old Frith," she said. "He always looked the same. When I saw him, I was a girl again. You know—but don't mind my words—you're younger than I thought. Maxim told me Your age, but you are still a child! Tell me, do you love him very much?" I didn't expect her to ask such a question.She must have seen the surprised expression on my face, so she smiled softly, squeezed my arm and said, "Don't answer my weird questions. I understand you. I'm always nosy, so annoying, yes Don't be mad at me. You know I love Maxim dearly, though we always talk back when we meet. Again, he's looking better, and I should congratulate you for that.At this time last year, everyone was sweating for him.Of course you know what happened, Luo. " Having said this, we had come to the dining-room, and she stopped, because there were servants around, and those who walked behind had also entered the room.But, as I sat down and spread my napkin, I was still thinking, if Beatrice knew that I knew nothing about the tragedy that happened here in the bay last year, that Maxim would never tell me about it, I never asked him, what would she say? That lunch went more smoothly than I had imagined, there was no further quarrel, and perhaps Beatrice finally became more tactful.The siblings talked about Manderley's housework, her horses, the garden and the friends they both knew, while Frank Crawley, who sat on my left, chatted with me in a natural and easy way, It took me no trouble at all, which made me grateful to him.Giles was busy eating and drinking, and didn't talk much. He just said something to me casually when he remembered the presence of the hostess. "Still the same cook, Maxim?" Giles asked, letting Robert serve himself a second serving of iced soufflés. "I often compare ① that Manderley is the only fruit left in the whole of England, and you can finally eat decent food here. I ate this kind of soufflé a long time ago, and I still remember it vividly." ①Beat Nickname for Liz. "The cook probably changes every once in a while," said Maxim. "The level of cooking remains the same though. The recipes were kept by Mrs. Danvers, who directed the work of the cooks. " "That Mrs. Danvers is not an easy woman," said Giles, turning to me. "What do you think?" "Ah, yes," I said. "It seems that Mrs. Danvers is indeed a great deal." "But that face is really not suitable for oil painting, is it?" Giles said, laughing.Frank Crawley said nothing.I looked up just in time to see Beatrice staring at me.Immediately, she turned away from talking to Maxim again. Crawley asked me, "Do you play golf, Mrs. de Winter?" "No, I don't play with that," I replied, relieved that Mrs. Danvers was forgotten as soon as the subject changed.Although I have never played golf and know nothing about it, I am ready to listen to him talk about the game as long as he likes, and I will listen as long as he likes. Golf is a practical and dull subject that does not embarrass people. Difficult. We ate cheese and drank coffee.I don't know if I should get up and leave the table at this point.I kept looking at Maxim, but he didn't say anything, and Giles started talking again, telling a story about a car being pulled out of a snowdrift.I don't understand how his thoughts suddenly turned to this, the story is difficult to understand, but I still have to listen to him politely, nodding and smiling, while feeling that Maxim is sitting in his place. Impatient. Giles finally stopped talking.I saw Maxim's wink, he frowned slightly, and tilted his head towards the door. I stood up immediately and dragged the chair away.However, Giles' glass of red wine was knocked over by hitting the table with his body. "Oh, my God!" I exclaimed, standing aside, not knowing what to do, reaching for the napkin and catching it again, Maxim said, "Forget it, let Frith take it, You will only help more and more. Beatrice, take her for a walk in the garden before she has time to look around." He looked tired and impatient.I think it would be nice if the guests didn't come.They ruined the day. It takes a lot of work to entertain them, as it did when we got home yesterday.I also feel tired and irritable.When Maxim proposed to go for a walk in the garden just now, he seemed a little furious.How stupid I am to knock over a wine glass!We stepped out of the house, onto the terrace, and then onto the level green lawn. Beatrice said: "It seems to me that you have made a mistake in coming back to Manderley in such haste. It would be much better to spend three or four months in Italy and not come back until Midsummer. This way, not only from your It's easier to get used to it, and that's good for Maxim. I can't help but think everything's going to be a little tricky for you at first." I said, "No, I don't think so. I think I'm going to love Manderley." She fell silent.We chatted on the lawn. After a while, she spoke again: "Tell me about yourself. What were you doing in the south of France? Maxime said you were with a nasty American woman." I told Mrs. Van Hopper and what happened afterward.She seemed to show sympathy, but her attitude was ambiguous and somewhat absent-minded. When I had finished, she said: "Yes, as you say, it all happened quite suddenly. But, dear, we're all happy about it, and I hope you two are happy." "Thank you, Beatrice," I said. "Thank you very much," I said, wondering why she said "hope" we were happy instead of "sure."This man is kind and straightforward, and I like him.But there was a hint of doubt in her voice, which disturbed me again. She took my arm and continued: "When Maxime wrote to tell me the news, I was quite surprised, to be honest. He said he met you in the south of France and that you were young and good looking Of course, everyone thought you must be a fashionable courtesan or something, with red and green paint on your face. It's not unusual to meet such people in such places. When you entered the morning room before lunch, it was really messed up. I'm dumbfounded." She laughed, and I laughed too.But she didn't say whether seeing my appearance disappointed her or relieved her. "Poor Maxim," she said. "He's had a terrible time, and I hope you've made him forget about it. Of course, he loves Manderley dearly." I kind of hoped that she would just go on in such a natural and easy way, telling me more about the past; but in the bottom of my heart, I secretly felt that I didn't want to know all this, and I didn't want to hear any more. "You know, Maxim and I are a completely different person," she said. "Our personalities are completely opposite. I show all my emotions on my face, and I can't hide my likes and dislikes for others. Maxim is completely different. He is very silent and never shows his emotions. You can't guess See what kind of thoughts are in his strange head. If anyone provokes me even a little, I can't help but lose my temper, but then forget it all. Maxim rarely loses his temper once or twice a year, but It's terrible when it happens. I don't think he's like that for you, you're a quiet little darling." She smiled and squeezed my shoulder.I think how peaceful and comfortable the word "quiet" sounds.With her needlework spread out on her knees, her face is peaceful, unhurried, unhurried, and carefree.I'm not this kind of person at all; sometimes I'm greedy, sometimes I'm afraid, tearing my badly bitten nails, I don't know where to go! She went on to say: "I have something to say to you, please don't take offense, please? I think your hair needs to be done well. Why don't you burn it?Don't you think your long hair is too straight?It must be ugly enough to be scattered under the hat.Why don't you put it behind your ears? " I obediently ran my hands through my hair.Waiting for her to express her approval, she turned her head and looked critically for a while and said, "No, no, it's worse. This hairstyle is too old-fashioned. It doesn't suit you. It seems that you have to perm it. Just tie it up. I've never been a fan of Joan of Arc or any other fashionable hairstyle. What's Maxim saying? Maybe he thinks it's good?" Dark.In history, the French heroine who fought against the British army at the end of the Hundred Years' War was burned at the stake. "I don't know," I said. "He never mentioned it." "Well, then, he might like you with your hair like that, so don't listen to me. Did you get any clothes in London and Paris?" "No," I said. "There's not enough time. Maxim is in a hurry to go home. Besides, it's not too late to write a letter anytime after we get back to make new clothes." "From the way you dress, you don't give a damn about your attire." I looked at my flannel skirt apologetically and said, "Who said that? I really like pretty clothes. It's just that so far, I haven't had the money to buy them." She said: "I don't see why Maxim doesn't stay in London for a week or so and buy you some decent clothes. I say he's being selfish about it, not like he usually is. Usually he Always fussy about what to wear." "Really?" I said. "He's never been critical of me, I don't think he even pays attention to what I'm wearing. I don't think he cares at all." "Well, then he must have changed his character." She took her eyes off my face, put her hands in her pockets, and whistled at Jasper, then she looked up at the upper part of the house. She asked me: "So, you don't need those rooms in the west wing now." I replied, "No need. Our room is in the east wing, and it's all temporarily decorated." "Really?" she said. "I don't know that. Why?" I said, "Maxim's idea. He probably likes it." She said nothing, still looking out of the window, whistling. Suddenly, she asked me: "How are you getting on with Mrs. Danvers?" I leaned down, patted Jesper on the head, stroked his ears, and replied, "I don't see this person very often. I'm a little scared of her. I've never seen anyone like her before." "I see you are right," said Beatrice. Jesper looked up at me, his large eyes full of humility and shyness.I kiss the top of its soft-furred head and put my hand on its black nose. Beatrice said: "You needn't be afraid of her. Besides, at any rate, don't let her see it. Of course, I've never talked too much with this person, and I never will. But she's always been to me. Courteous." I still stroked Jasper's head. Beatrice asked again: "Is she still friendly?" "No," I said. "Not very friendly." Beatrice whistled again.She wiped Jasper's head with her foot and said, "If I had to, I'd have nothing to do with her." "No, I don't need to intervene at all, she is quite capable in housekeeping." Beatrice said, "Well, I don't think she cares at all about that." Just the night before, Maxim had said the same thing.It's so strange, how could the views of the two coincide with each other?I would have thought that there could have been no other factor than the interference of others in Mrs. Danvers' displeasure. Beatrice told me: "I daresay she gets better after a while, but at the beginning she's going to make you uncomfortable. This guy is terribly jealous. I expected that. " I looked up at her and asked, "Why? What is she to be jealous of? Maxim doesn't seem to be particularly fond of her." "My dear child, it is not Maxim who is in her heart," said Beatrice. "Mrs Danvers has nothing but respect, or something like it, for him." She paused here, frowned slightly, and looked at me uncertainly.Then she said, "No. You know, what it is, she hates you coming here, and that's the trouble. " "Why?" I asked. "Why does she hate me?" "I thought you knew," said Beatrice. "I think Maxim must have told you. She adores Rebecca." "Oh, I see." We both kept petting Jesper.It was rare for a puppy to be so pampered. He turned over with his stomach upturned, overjoyed. "The men are coming," Beatrice said. "Pull out some chairs and sit under the chestnut tree. Why is Giles so fat? It's disgusting to stand next to Maxim. I think Frank has to go back to the office now. People are very boring and never say a word of interest. Hey, what are you guys talking about? Are you talking about bad morals and sinister people?" She was talking and laughing, and the men came towards us, and finally everyone stood up. deal. Giles threw a twig for Jasper to retrieve, and everyone watched the dog. Mr. Crawley looked at his watch and said: "I must go. Mrs. de Winter, thank you very much for hosting me for lunch." I shook hands with him and said, "I must come here often from now on!" I don't know if the others are getting ready to go too.Are they just here for lunch or for a full day of fun. I hoped they would leave quickly too, so that I could be alone with Maxim, just like in Italy. They all sat down under the chestnut tree. Robert had sent chairs and blankets.Giles lay on his back with his hat tilted over his eyes, and soon began to snore. "Shut up, Giles!" cried Beatrice.Giles opened his eyes, murmured "I'm not asleep again," and then got his eyes full again.I find him unattractive.Why did Beatrice marry him?It's impossible to fall in love with such a person.Perhaps Beatrice was feeling the same way about me at this very moment.From time to time, I saw her bewildered and thoughtful eyes on me, as if she was asking herself: "What does Maxim see in her?" But at the same time, her eyes were sympathetic, without any hint of unfriendliness. .At the moment, the siblings are talking about the old grandmother. "We have to go and see her old man." This was Maxim speaking.Beatrice went on: "Poor old grandma, she's so confused that she slipped a bit when she ate." I snuggle into Maxim's arm.Rest your chin on his sleeve and listen to them.He stroked my hand absently, talking to Beatrice as usual. I thought to myself: "Isn't that the same with Jasper? Now I'm next to him and he's his Jasper. When he remembers that I'm on the side, he pats me, and I'm happy too. Get closer to him. He likes me exactly as I like Jasper." The wind had died down, and the quiet of the afternoon was drowsy.Freshly mowed grass smells rich of new grass, as if summer had arrived.一只蜜蜂在贾尔斯头上嗡嗡打转，他挥着帽子驱赶它。杰斯珀跑下草坡，来到我们脚边，因为太热，伸着舌头。它扑通一声在我身边躺下，舔着自己的肚子，那对大眼睛露出抱愧的神情。太阳照耀着带竖框的窗子，把绿色的草坪和庭院都映进我的眼里。近处的烟囱，有淡淡的青烟袅袅飘起，我想他们大概已按惯例把藏书室的炉火点着了。 一只画眉在草地上飞过，落在餐厅窗外的木兰树上。我坐在草坪上能闻到淡淡的木兰花清香。一切都是那么安详，那么静谧。远远地，从下面的海湾外传来阵阵涛声。这会儿大概是退潮。 蜜蜂又飞来了，在我们头上嗡嗡打转，还不时停下品尝栗子花蜜。我想：“这就是我想象中并一直向往的曼陀丽的生活。” 我希望一直坐在这儿，不说话，也不必听人说话，把这一刻变成永恒的宝贵的记忆。 此刻，大家都悠闲自得，像头顶嗡嗡作声的蜜蜂一样倦慵怠情。可是片刻之后，一切都不再是原样。接着就是明天的到来，后来的到来，如此日复一日，积累成整整一个年头。 我们这些人也会随着光阴的流逝发生变化，不可能再同此刻完全一样，坐在这儿休息。 我们中可能有人离此他去，有人可能命途多舛，有人可能与世长逝。未来，那未知的、不能预见的未来，就在我们面前，也许与我们所希望所规划的完全不同。不过，这一刻的幸福是稳当无虞的，不会受到损害。迈克西姆和我二人此刻手执着手坐在这儿，无论过去或未来与我们毫不相干。这一刻是可靠的。可就是这么微不足道的一小段时间，日后他再也不会回忆起，甚至连想也不去想。他丝毫不会觉得这一刻有什么神圣之处。你看他不是正在大谈要把车道上的树丛砍掉一些吗。比阿特丽斯表示赞同，还提出自己的想法。她打断他的话头，并把草块向贾尔斯扔去。对他们说来，这一刻与其他日子的任何时刻没什么两样，只不过是一个普通的午后，三点一刻。他们同我不一样，并不想把这一刻的记忆牢牢保存在心间，这是因为他们不受恐惧的折磨。 “看来我们得走啦，”比阿特丽斯掸去裙上的草说。“我们请了卡特赖特夫妇来吃饭，迟回去可不好。” “老维拉好吗？”迈克西姆问。 “还是老样子，总是说身体不好。她丈夫也老多了。两人肯定都会问起你们二位。” “那就代我问个好，”迈克西姆说。 大家站起身来，贾尔斯抖掉帽子上的尘土。迈克西姆打了个哈欠，伸伸懒腰。太阳钻进了云层。我抬头望望天空，这才发现天色已经变得十分灰暗，空中鱼鳞状的云块，一层一层飞也似地集拢来。 迈克西姆说：“又起风了。” 贾尔斯接着说：“但愿别碰上雨才好。” 比阿特丽斯也说：“看来天要变坏。” 我们漫步朝着车道和停在那里的汽车走去。 迈克西姆说：“你们还没看看经过装修的东厢房间。”我接着提议：“上楼看看吧，反正不花多少时间。” 我们一道走进厅堂，登上大楼梯，男人跟在我们后面。 比阿特丽斯曾在这儿住过多年，姑娘时代曾沿着这些楼梯跑上跑下，想到这些，很有意思。她出生在这里，又在这儿长大成人，她了解这儿的一切，比起我来，不论什么时候，她总是更有资格做这儿的主人。在她的心底一定珍藏着许多对往事的回忆。我不知道她是否曾想起逝去的岁月，想起自己幼时的形象：一个扎着长辫子的女孩，与今天的她——一位四十五岁、精力充沛、性格定型的太太——完全不一样。 我们来到东厢的那些房间，贾尔斯在低矮的进门处不得不弯下腰来。他说：“啊，真有趣！这样一改装好多了。是吗，比？”比阿特丽斯对迈克西姆说：“依我说，老弟，你倒真会花钱。新窗帷、新床，样样都是新的！贾尔斯，记得吗？上一回你腿坏了，起不来，我们就住在这个房间里。那时候这房间简直一塌糊涂。不错，妈根本不懂怎样享福。另外，迈克西姆，过去从不在这儿安顿客人的，对吗？除非客人太多，房间不够用，才把一些单身汉安顿到这儿来。啊，房间布置得挺美。窗外是玫瑰园，这始终是这个房间的一大优点。让我搽点粉好吗？” 男人们下楼去了。比阿特丽斯望着镜子对我说：“这一切都是丹弗斯那老婆子替你们料理的？” “是的，”我说。“我觉得她干得很出色。” “受过她那种训练的人，这点事情肯定能办好，”比阿特丽斯说。“就不知道得花多少钱。我看总得花上一大笔。你问过吗？” “没有。我不问的，”我说。 “钱花得再多，丹弗斯太太也决不心痛，让我用用你的梳子好吗？多漂亮的发刷！结婚礼物吗？” “迈克西姆给我买的。” “嗯，我挺喜欢。对啦，我们总得送你点什么。你喜欢什么东西？” “啊，我说不上来，请不必费心，”我说。 “亲爱的，别说傻话。尽管你们没邀请我们参加婚礼，我也决不会吝啬到不肯送礼的程度！” “你可千万别见怪，在国外结婚是迈克西姆的主意。” “我当然不见怪。你俩这样做很有见识。毕竟这不像……”她说到一半，突然打住，把手提包掉在地上。“见鬼，没把搭扣跌碎吧？啊，还好，没碎。我刚才说什么来着？我记不起来了。噢，对了，在说结婚礼物。得想出个好主意。你不太喜欢珠宝首饰吧？”我没有回答。 她接着说：“这同一般的年轻夫妻多不一样！前几天一个朋友的女儿结婚，还不是那老一套，送衬衣、咖啡用具、餐厅座椅之类的东西。我送了盏很漂亮的烛台式电灯，是在哈罗德百货公司买的，花了五英镑。你要是到伦敦去添置衣服，务必去找我的女裁缝卡罗克斯太太。此人很有审美力，而且不会乱敲竹杠。” 她从梳妆台旁站起身，拉拉裙子问我：“你看会有很多客人来吗？” “不知道。迈克西姆还没有谈起过。” “真是个怪人，谁也猜不透他。一度，曼陀丽老是挤得水泄不通，甭想找张空床位。 我怎么也不能想象你……“她突兀地打住，拍拍我的手臂，接着又说：”啊，以后再看吧。真遗憾，你既不骑马，又不打猎，这样就会损失好多玩乐的机会。你总不会爱驾艇出海吧？ " “不，”我说。 “感谢上帝。” 她朝门口走去，我跟着她穿过走廊。 她说：“什么时候愿意，就来看看我们。我总是希望别人不邀自来，生命是短促的，哪有那么多时间成天向人发请帖。” “谢谢你的好意，”我说。 我们来到俯瞰着大厅的楼梯口。迈克西姆他们正站在门外的台阶上。贾尔斯喊道：“快来，比，我身上已滴着一点雨水，我们把车子的遮雨蓬打开了。迈克西姆说，晴雨表标志着有雨。” 比阿特丽斯执着我的手，弯下身，匆匆在我脸上吻一下。她说：“再见，要是我向你提了一些无礼的问题，说了一些不该说的话，那末请原谅吧。我这个人实在不懂什么叫圆滑，这一点迈克西姆会告诉你的。再说一遍，你完全不是我想象中的模样。”她直视着我，嘟起嘴吹了一声口哨，接着从手提包里取出一支香烟，点着了打火机。 “你知道。”她啪地一声关上打火机，边走下楼梯边说，“你跟吕蓓卡多么不一样！” 我们一起走到台阶上，这时太阳已经钻进云层，开始下起蒙蒙细雨。罗伯特正匆匆走过草坪，去把椅子搬回来。