Chapter 4 Chapter two

In the waiting room of the hospital, Ruth discovered that except for a bald white man, everyone else was Asian.The doctor's surnames are written on the blackboard: Fang, Wang, Wang, Tang, Qin, Pan, Guo, Gu.The receptionist and nurses also looked Chinese. Ruth thought of how, in the sixties, everyone opposed the establishment of various services for different races, thinking it was a kind of racial segregation.But now everyone is demanding the establishment of such service facilities, thinking that this is an expression of respect for different ethnic cultures.And since roughly one-third of San Francisco's population is Asian, a medical facility specifically targeting Chinese clients could be a marketing strategy.The bald man was looking around, as if he wanted to run away and leave this strange environment.Could it be that because his surname was Yang, he was mistaken for a Chinese by a computer system that couldn't distinguish between races, and he was arranged to go to this hospital for medical treatment?Has he ever received a call from a Chinese-speaking salesperson, offering to sell him a dedicated long-distance call service to Hong Kong and Taiwan?Ruth knew all too well the awkwardness of being treated like an outsider, and she was often sidelined as a child.The experience of moving eight times when she was a child made her feel very clearly the feeling of being out of place.

"Fiya should be in the sixth grade, right?" Ru Ling asked her suddenly. "You mean Dolly," Ruth replied.Dolly, who was given a grade for ADHD and difficulty concentrating, is now receiving individual counseling. "How could it be Dolly?" "Fja is the older one. She's going to be in tenth grade. Dolly is thirteen. She's going to be in seventh grade." "I can tell the two of them apart!" Ru Ling was a little annoyed.She counted down her fingers one by one: "Dolly, Fei Ya, the eldest is Fufu, seventeen years old." Ruth once joked that Fufu was her daughter, Ru Ling always wanted a grandson, and Ruth Take Fufu, a little wild cat I raised who was born with a bad temper, to make up for my mother. "How is Fufu?" Ru Ling asked again.

Didn't she tell her mother that Fufu was dead?She must have said so.Otherwise Art said.Ruth was known to be depressed and restless for several weeks after the unfortunate incident. "Fufu is dead," she reminded her mother. "Oh!" Ru Ling's expression changed drastically. "How? What happened?" "I told you--" "You never said that!" "Oh... that was a few months ago, and she jumped over the fence. A dog chased her. She tried to crawl back, but she couldn't move fast enough." "Why do you have a dog in your house?"

"It's the neighbor's dog." "Then why did you let the neighbor's dog run into your yard? Look! Oh, well, it's dead!" Ru Ling spoke too loudly, and those who read books, knitters, and even the bald man in the waiting room all looked up at her.Ruth was brought up by her mother again.Kitten Fufu is like her child.Ruth had brought her back from Wendy's garage as soon as she was born, and she was so small, like a little furball.It was Ruth who held her in his arms when the vet finally euthanized her.Ruth's heart aches uncontrollably at the thought of all this, and she doesn't want to cry in front of a waiting room full of strangers.

Fortunately, the receptionist called "Yang Ruling" at this time.Ruth hurriedly helped her mother pack her purse, coat, etc., and saw the bald man get up quickly, and quickly walked towards an old Chinese lady. "Hi, Mom," Ruth heard him say. "How's the test result? Let's go home?" The old lady handed him a prescription slip with a straight face.This must be her son-in-law, Ruth thought.Would Art be willing to take her mother to the doctor?She suspected not.What if it's an emergency, like a heart attack, or a stroke? The nurse came forward and spoke Cantonese to Ru Ling, but Ru Ling answered in Mandarin. In the end, the two decided to communicate in English with an accent.Ru Ling followed the nurse's order and silently accepted the routine examination.First measure the weight, eighty-five pounds, then measure the blood pressure, the high pressure is 100, and the low pressure is 70.Then draw blood, roll up your sleeves, and make a fist.Ru Ling did so without flinching. She was the one who taught Ruth to be brave when she was giving the injection. She looked directly at the needle and insisted not to cry.After entering the examination room, Ru Ling took off her close-fitting cotton jacket, wore only a pair of printed underwear, and stood upright. Ruth looked away.

Ru Ling put on a disposable paper gown and climbed onto the examination table, dangling with her feet dangling underneath.She looks like a fragile child.Ruth sat down in a nearby chair.As soon as the doctor came in, both mother and daughter sat up straight.Ru Ling has always respected doctors very much. "Mrs. Yang!" The doctor greeted her happily. "I'm Doctor Xu." He glanced at Ruth. "I'm her daughter. I called your office earlier." He nodded knowingly.Dr. Xu is younger than Ruth, and looks very pleasing to the eye.He first asked Ru Ling questions in Cantonese, but Ru Ling just pretended to understand. Finally, Ruth couldn't bear it anymore and explained, "She speaks Mandarin, not Cantonese."

The doctor looked at Ru Ling and said. "Mandarin?" Ru Ling nodded, and Dr. Xu shrugged apologetically. "My Chinese is terrible. How is your English?" "Fine. I'm fine." At the end of the examination, Dr. Xu announced with a smile, "Madam, you are in very good health. Your heart and lung function are good. Your blood pressure is just right. Especially for your age. I almost forgot, you What year was it born?" He glanced at the form in his hand, then looked up at Ru Ling. "Can you tell me?" "What year?" Ru Ling rolled his eyes upwards, as if the answer was written on the ceiling. "It's hard to say."

"I want to know the real year now," joked the doctor. "It's not the year you told your friends about." "The real year is 1916," Ruling said. Ruth couldn't help but interject. "She meant—" She was about to say it should be 1921, but the doctor raised his hand to signal her not to say it.He glanced at the medical form again, then said to Ruling, "So how old are you—so?" "It will be eighty-two this month!" she replied. Ruth bit her lip and stared at the doctor. "Eighty-two." The doctor transcribed this down. "So tell me, where were you born? China, right? Which city?"

"Hey, it's hard to say," Ru Ling said a little embarrassedly. "It's not really a city, but rather a small place with many aliases. My hometown is 46 kilometers away from the bridge leading to Beijing." "Ah, Beijing," said the doctor. "I went there when I was traveling a few years ago. I went to the Forbidden City with my wife." Ru Ling became a little interested. "In the past, this prohibition, that prohibition, you can't watch it. Now everyone pays to see these prohibited things. You say this prohibition, that prohibition, just ask for more money."

Ruth could barely resist the fit.Dr. Xu will definitely feel that mother is talking nonsense.She did feel worried about her mother's condition, but she didn't want her worries to become reality.Her worries should have been unfounded, much ado about nothing, it's always been like this. "Did you also go to school in Beijing?" Dr. Xu continued to ask. Ru Ling nodded. "And my nanny taught me a lot. Drawing, reading, writing—" "Very good. Can you help me with the math problem? Count backwards from one hundred, subtracting seven each time." Ru Ling was stunned.

"Start counting from one hundred." "One hundred!" Ru Ling said confidently.But there is nothing below. Dr. Xu waited patiently, and finally said, "Now subtract seven." Ru Ling hesitated. "Ninety-two, no, ninety-three. Ninety-three!" It wasn't fair, Ruth wanted to say out loud.She had to convert the numbers into Chinese to calculate, memorize the answers, and then translate the answers into English.Ruth began to calculate rapidly in her mind.She wished she could telepathically communicate the answer to her mother.Eighty-six!seventy-nine! "Eighty...eighty..." Ru Ling got stuck again. "Don't worry, Mrs. Yang." "Eighty," she said at last. "And then eighty-seven." "Okay." Dr. Xu said without changing his expression. "Now I want you to count down the names of the past five presidents." Ruth couldn't help protesting: I can't even say that! Ru Ling frowned and began to think. "Clinton," she said after a pause. "It's been Clinton for the past five years." Mom didn't even understand the question!Of course she couldn't understand.It was always Ruth who came to tell her what was said, and to repeat it to her from a different angle.She would tell her mother that "reciprocal" means "first tell me who the president is this time, then talk about the previous one, and then who the next one is."If Dr. Xu asked this question in fluent Mandarin, the answer would definitely not be difficult for Ru Ling. "This president, that president," my mother would definitely answer without hesitation, "there is no difference. They are all big liars. Before the election, they said that there would be no tax increases. After the election, they will still raise taxes. Before the election, they said not to commit crimes. The crime rate is higher. The old man won't cut the dole. I came to this country and I don't have dole. How is this fair? It's not fair at all. !" Then the doctor asked many ridiculous questions. "Do you know what day it is today?" "Monday." Ru Ling could never tell the difference between the date and the day of the week. "What date was today five months ago?" "It's still Monday." But if you really think about it, her answer is not bad at all. "How many grandchildren do you have?" "I don't have any grandchildren yet. She's not married yet." The doctor couldn't see that she was joking! Ru Ling is like the big loser on a TV quiz show.Yang Ruling's score: minus 500 points.Next is the final round of the quiz show... "How old is your daughter?" Ru Ling hesitated. "Forty years old, maybe forty-one." In the eyes of the mother, the daughter is always younger than her real age. "What year was she born?" "Like me, it's a dragon." She looked at Ruth, expecting her approval.But my mother is obviously a chicken. "What month?" Dr. Xu asked again. "Which month?" Lu Ling asked Ruth.Ruth shrugged helplessly. "she does not know." "What year is it?" "1998!" She looked up at the doctor, as if the doctor was an idiot who didn't even know such a simple thing.Ruth was relieved that Mom had finally answered one question correctly. "Mrs. Yang, can you wait here for a while, and I will go outside with Ling Ai to arrange the time for your next inspection?" "Of course, of course. I'm not going anywhere." Dr. Xu walked to the door and stopped again. "Thank you for answering so many of my questions. I guess you must feel like you're testifying in court." "Like OJ Simpson." Doctor Xu smiled. "I guess everyone watched the tape of the trial on TV." Ru Ling shook her head. "Oh no, not just watching TV. I was there when it happened. He killed his wife and that friend, the one who gave her the glasses. I saw it all." Ruth's heart began to pound hard. "You watched a documentary about the simulated case on TV," she said before Dr. Xu. "Re-representing what happened on TV is like watching what happened in real life. Is that what you mean?" Ru Ling waved his hands in denial. "Maybe you watched a documentary. I saw the real thing." She said and demonstrated. "He grabbed her like this and cut her neck from here - it was deep and there was blood everywhere. It was horrible." "That means you were in Los Angeles that day?" Dr. Xu asked. Ru Ling nodded. Ruth tried to reason with her mother. "I don't think you've been to Los Angeles at all." "How I got there, I don't know. But I was there. It's true! I followed him, man, he's cunning, that Simpson, hiding in the bushes. And then I went to his house. Seeing him take off Take off your gloves, hide in the garden, and go back to the house to change—" Ru Ling was a little embarrassed when she said this. "Of course I didn't look at him while he was changing, turned away. Then he ran to the airport, was almost late, jumped on the plane. I saw it all." "You saw all this and didn't tell anyone?" "I'm terrified!" “It must be scary enough to witness a murder,” Dr. Hsu said. Ru Ling nodded bravely. "Thank you for telling us about this experience. Now please wait here for a while, my daughter and I will go to another room and make an appointment for your next inspection." "Go at ease." Ruth followed the doctor to another room.Immediately the doctor asked her, "How long have you observed her thinking like this?" Ruth sighed: "It has been more obvious in the past six months, maybe a little earlier. But today is worse than usual. Except for the last mention of the Simpson case, she is generally pretty good, not as weird as this, or can't remember. It's more because she doesn't speak English very well and doesn't understand the situation, which you may have noticed. Then again, she talked about the Simpson case-this may be because of the language again. Problem. She's never been good at expressing herself—" "I think she made it very clear that she thought she was really there," said Dr. Xu gently. Ruth turned her head and dared not look at the doctor. "You mentioned to the nurse that she had been in a car accident. Was there a head injury?" "She hit her head on the steering wheel." Ruth suddenly hoped that this was the turn of the problem, maybe that was the problem. "Has there been a noticeable change in her personality? Has she become depressed and more argumentative?" Ruth tried to guess the doctor's intentions, wondering what would happen if she answered affirmatively. "Mom has always been very argumentative, always has been. She has a bad temper. She has always been very depressed as far as I know. Her husband, my father, died in a car accident forty-four years ago. The perpetrator escaped. This It has haunted her for years. Maybe her depression has gotten worse, but I'm so used to it that I don't notice it. As for her confusion, I'm wondering if it was the concussion from the car accident, or if it was her. A little bit of a stroke." Ruth tried to come up with accurate medical terms to describe her mother's condition. "You know, TIA (temporary cerebral ischemia)." "I don't think that's the case so far. Her movement and reflexes are good. Her blood pressure is also normal. We also want to do a few more tests on her, also to clarify and rule out other possibilities such as diabetes or anemia. sex. "Do these diseases also cause this?" "Yes, the same can happen with Alzheimer's or other causes of dementia." Ruth felt as if someone had punched her in the heart.Mom's situation couldn't be that bad.These are very terrible incurable diseases that the doctor said.Thank God she hasn't told the doctor the things she was prepared to tell: Mom's repeated begging for rent with Francine, the magazine subscription lottery for the $10 million check, and her forgetting that Fufu had dead thing. "That means it's probably depression," Ruth said. "We cannot rule out other possibilities at this time." "Then, if it's really depression, you have to tell her that the antidepressants are ginseng or other traditional Chinese medicine." Doctor Xu smiled. "Our elderly patients here are often very resistant to western medicine. Once they feel better, they stop the medicine immediately to save money." He handed Ruth a form. "Take this to the computer room around the corner and give it to Roland. Let's make an appointment for your mother to meet with experts in psychology and neurology, and come back here to see me in a month." "It's around the Mid-Autumn Festival." Doctor Xu raised his head. "Really? I can never figure out when the Mid-Autumn Festival is." "I only know because I'm hosting the family dinner this year." That night, while steaming the sea bass, Ruth said casually to Art, "I took my mother to the doctor. She's probably depressed." Art replied, "What's new about this? We already knew that." Ruling sat next to Ruth at dinner.Pointing to the sea bass in front of her, she said in Chinese, "It's too salty." Then she added. "Tell the kids to eat all the fish. Don't waste food." "Fear, Dolly, why don't you eat?" Ruth asked. "I'm full," replied Dolly. "We ate a lot of fries at Burger King in Presidio Park before going home." "You should forbid them to eat these things!" Ru Ling continued to scold Ruth in Chinese. "Tell them it's not an example." "Kids, I hope you don't let junk food spoil your appetite." "I also hope you don't speak Chinese like spies," Fiya said. "That's rude." Ru Ling stared at Ruth, Ruth stared at Art, but Art looked down at his plate. "Grandma speaks Chinese," Ruth said, "because she's used to it." Ruth taught them to call Ruling "Grandma" in Chinese, which at least the two of them did, but they didn't think it was an honorific, but thought it was It's just a nickname. "She can speak English too," Dolly said. "Bah!" Ru Ling complained to Ruth. "Why didn't their father criticize them? He should teach the child to listen to you. Why can't he care about you more? No wonder he never wants to marry you. No respect for you at all. Tell him. Why don't you tell him to Treat you better...?" Ruth wished she could go back to the time when she couldn't speak.She wanted to yell at her mother to stop complaining about situations she couldn't change.But she also wishes she could defend her mother to her two stepdaughters, especially now that her mother's health is in dire straits.Ru Ling has always looked strong on the outside, but she is also very fragile.Why can't Fia and Dori understand this and be more friendly? Ruth remembered that when she was their age, she also hated Ru Ling who knew that others could not understand her private language, and deliberately spoke Chinese in front of others.Ruling would say "Look how fat that woman is," or "Ruyi, go and ask him if he can sell it to us cheaper." Ruth would be very ashamed if she did, but if she disobeyed her mother's orders, Ruth recalled, then the result was even more disastrous. Ru Ling used Chinese to instill all kinds of life wisdom into Ruth's mind, warning her to stay away from accidents, diseases and the danger of death. "Don't play with her. Lots of germs," ​​Ruth told her one day when she was six, pointing to a girl across the street.The girl's name was Trisha, and she was missing two front teeth, a scar on one knee, and dirty handprints on her skirt. "I saw her eating candy off the sidewalk. You look at her nose, it sprays germs all over the place." But Ruth liked Theresa.She loves to laugh, and always has all kinds of treasures she found in her clothes pockets: tinfoil balls, gravel, plucked flowers and so on.Ruth had just transferred to a new school, and Tereza was the only kid who would play with her.Neither of them was very popular with everyone. "Did you hear what I said?" Lu Ling said. "Yes." Ruth replied. The next day, Ruth was playing on campus.Mom was on the other side of the campus, looking after the other kids.Ruth climbed onto the slide, eager to slide down the silver slide into the cool black sand below.She and Tereza had already skated together many times before mom didn't see it. But my mother's familiar voice suddenly resounded across the playground, high and sharp: "No! Ruyi, no! What are you going to do? Do you want to break in two?" Ruth stood on top of the slide, so ashamed she almost forgot to act.Ruling is responsible for taking care of the safety of the preschool children, but Ruth is already in the first grade!The other first-grade children were laughing below. "Is that your mother?" they shouted. "What did she mutter about?" "She's not my mother!" Ruth yelled at them too. "I don't know her!" Mom's eyes were fixed on her.Although she was far away on the other side of the playground, she could see and hear everything clearly.There seemed to be a pair of magic eyes in the back of her head. You can't stop me, Ruth thought furiously.She went straight down the slide, her arms outstretched, her head down—a position only the bravest, naughtiest boys would dare to ride down a slide—faster and faster, until In the sand.As a result, she first hit her face hard on the ground, and the impact was so strong that she bit her lip, hit her nose, broke her glasses, and bruised her arm.She fell to the ground quietly, feeling that the whole world was burning, and her eyes were full of red lightning. "Ruth is dead!" cried a boy.The girls started screaming. Ruth wanted to say I wasn't dead, but it felt like she was talking in sleep, her lips seemed to give up.Maybe she really died?Is this what death is like?There was blood coming out of the nose, pain in the head and arms, and the body seemed to be very heavy and unable to move, a bit like a clumsy elephant in the water. Is this death?Soon, she felt her mother's familiar hands stroking her head and neck.While picking her up, her mother murmured softly, "Oh, why are you so stupid? Look at you." Blood ran from Ruth's nose and dripped onto the front of her white blouse, staining the lace collar red.She fell limp on her mother's lap and looked at Tereza's and the faces of the other children.She saw their terrified expressions, but she was not lacking in awe.If she could move, she must smile.They finally noticed me, the new little girl transferred in.Then she saw her mother's face again, and her mother's tears rolled down her cheeks and fell on her face like wet kisses.Mom wasn't angry, she was worried and loving.Ruth was so surprised that she forgot about the pain in her body. Later, Ruth was taken to the infirmary and lay on a cot.The nosebleed was stopped with gauze, the bitten lip was cleaned, and the arm was raised with an ice pack under it. "Her arm may be broken," the nurse told Ruling. "Nerves may be damaged too. You see how swollen she is, but she doesn't say a word, and she doesn't complain of pain." "She is a good girl and never complains." "You have to take her to the hospital. Understand? To the doctor." "Okay, okay, go see the doctor." When Luling took her out, a teacher said, "Look at how brave she is! She didn't even cry." Two popular girls smiled at Ruth admiringly and waved to her, and Tereza did the same. In the crowd, Ruth quietly gave her a knowing smile. On the drive to the hospital, Ruth noticed that her mother was eerily quiet.She kept looking at Ruth, Ruth was waiting to be scolded, waiting for her mother to say: I told you that the big slide is dangerous, why didn't you obey me?You almost smashed your head into a rotten watermelon!This is great, I have to work overtime again to pay your medical bills.Ruth waited, but Mom only asked after a while if it hurt.Ruth shook her head each time. In the hospital, when the doctor examined Ruth's arm, Ru Ling gasped in pain and cried, "Oh! Be gentle, be light, be light. She's hurt very badly." Finally, a cast was put on. Afterwards, Ru Ling proudly said, "Teacher, children, everyone admires you very much. Luti never cries or screams, and doesn't make a sound." By the time they got home, the excitement had worn off, and Ruth began to feel a sharp pain in her arms and head.She tried her best not to cry, and Ru Ling placed her on the sofa, trying to make her lie comfortably. "May I cook some porridge for you? Eat something and you'll heal quickly. Do you want spicy radish? I'll make dinner, can you eat some spicy radish first?" The more Ruth remained silent, the harder Mom tried to guess what she wanted.Ruth lay on the sofa and heard Ru Ling calling Aunt Gao Ling. "She almost died! It scared me to death! I'm not exaggerating at all. She almost lost her life and went to Huangquan Road... I really want to knock out some of my own teeth and hurt for this child... No, no, Ruth didn't shed a single tear. She probably got her grandma's tenacity. Now she eats a little. She can't speak. I thought she bit off her tongue at first Well, now it seems she was probably frightened. You want to see her? Well, no problem, but tell your children to be careful. I don't want her arm to be knocked off again." Aunt Gao Ling's family came to see Ruth with gifts. Gao Ling gave Ruth a bottle of eau de toilette, and Uncle Edmund gave her a new toothbrush and matching plastic cups.Two cousins ​​gave her coloring books, chalk, and a toy dog.Ruling pushed the TV as close as possible to the sofa because Ruth had trouble watching TV without her glasses. "Does it hurt?" little cousin Sally asked Ruth. Despite the pain in her arm, Ruth shrugged and said it was nothing. "Wow, man, wish I could have a cast," Billy said.He is the same age as Ruth. "Dad, can you put me in a cast too?" "Don't say such unlucky words!" Aunt Gao Ling taught him. Billy fiddled with the TV channels, and Uncle Edmund ordered him to switch back to the program Ruth was watching with a straight face.Billy had always been favored, and Ruth had never seen Uncle Edmund be so strict with his children. "Why don't you talk?" Sally asked Ruth. "Did you break your mouth too?" "Yeah," Billy said. "Did you fall stupid or something?" "Billy, don't talk nonsense," said Aunt Gao Ling. "She's resting. She's in so much pain that she can't speak." Ruth didn't know whether her aunt's words made sense.She wanted to speak, and spoke in such a low voice that no one could hear her.But if she opened her mouth, all these good things in front of her might disappear immediately.Everyone will think that she is fine and everything is back to normal.Mom will start to scold her for being careless and disobedient again. In the two days since the fall, Ruth has been unable to move freely, and her mother has to help her eat, drink, dress, and take a bath.Lu Ling kept ordering Ruth to "open your mouth. Eat more. Put your arms here. Keep your head still as much as possible. I'll brush your hair." Ruth felt as if she had become her mother's baby again, Much loved, never scolded.This feeling is really good. On the first day Ruth went back to school, she saw a large banner hanging in front of the classroom, which said "Welcome back, Ruth!" Their teacher, Miss Sandiga, announced that every student in the class I did my best to make this banner.She also led the class to applaud Ruth's bravery.Ruth smiled shyly.Her heart was about to jump out.She had never been so proud, so happy.She wished she had broken her arm a long time ago. During lunch, the girls rushed to pretend to give Ruth all kinds of jewelry, and took turns playing her maid.They also invited Ruth to a place surrounded by rocks under a tree next to the sandbox, which they called their "secret castle."Only the most popular girl can play the princess of the castle.Now the princesses took turns painting on Ruth's cast.One of them asked cautiously, "Have you not connected your arms yet?" Ruth nodded, and another girl said loudly, "Shall we get her the magic potion?" The princesses immediately ran away, looking for various bottles. Lids, broken glass, clover, as a magic potion for Ruth. When school was over, Ruth's mother went to the classroom to pick her up.Miss Sandiga called Ruling aside, and Ruth pretended she couldn't hear what they were saying. "Today is Ruth's first day back to school. She may be a little tired. This is normal, but she is very quiet. She didn't say a word or hum all day. This made me feel a little worried." "She never complained of pain." Ru Ling said. "It's probably not a big deal. But if this continues, we'll have to pay attention." "No problem," Ruling assured. "She's fine." "You have to encourage her to speak up, Mrs. Yang. I don't want the situation to get worse." "No problem!" Mom said again and again. "Make her say 'hamburger' and then give her a hamburger. She has to say 'biscuit' before giving her a biscuit." That night, Ru Ling obeyed the teacher's suggestion word by word, and made hamburgers for Ruth for the first time.Ru Ling herself never eats beef.Beef reminded her of flesh covered with scars, and she found beef disgusting.But now, for the sake of her daughter, she made a simple hamburger and served it to Ruth. Ruth was secretly excited when she saw that her mother had cooked an American dinner for the first time. "Hamburger? You say 'hamburger' and eat it." Ruth longed to speak, but was afraid that the magic spell would fail if she spoke.As long as you utter a word, all these good things in front of you will disappear.She shook her head.Ru Ling kept encouraging her to open her mouth until the hamburger was cold, and the fat on it solidified into an ugly white circle.Finally, Lu Ling put the hamburger in the refrigerator and gave Ruth a bowl of warm rice porridge, saying that rice porridge was better for the body than hamburgers anyway. After eating, Ru Ling cleaned up the dining table and started working.She spread out the pen, ink, paper and inkstone.With a swipe of the pen, the strokes are smooth and free, and the big advertisement in Chinese is written: "Closed! Clearance sale! Last low price!" Then she put the written advertisement paper aside to dry, and then cut a new page. Ruth was watching TV when she suddenly realized that her mother was watching her. "Why don't you study?" Ru Ling asked.In order to make Ruth "one step faster than others", Ru Ling has been teaching Ruth to read and write since she was in kindergarten. Ruth held up her severed right arm, which was in a cast. "Come and sit down," Mom said in Chinese. Ruth stood up slowly.Hey, mom is back to normal after all. "Hold the pen," Ru Ling stuffed a brush into Ruth's left hand. "Come write your name." At first Ruth was clumsy with the pen, the letter R was barely recognizable, and the curve in the middle of the h, like a runaway bicycle, had escaped the track and almost disappeared from the paper.Ruth couldn't help giggling. "Keep the pen straight," her mother taught her. "Don't lean. Write lightly, like this." After that, I made some progress in writing, but a few letters filled a large sheet of paper. "Try and write smaller." But Ruth's letters were like ink-soaked flies rolling on the paper, messy and messy.By the time it was time to go to bed, Ruth had used nearly twenty sheets of paper, both front and back.Obviously, Ruth practiced calligraphy very effectively, but this time the practice was also extravagant.Ru Ling has always been frugal. She collected the papers written by Ruth and put them in the corner of her home.Ruth knew that her mother would use these writing papers to practice calligraphy, clean the floor, or support pots in the future. In the evening of the next day, after dinner, Ru Ling placed a large tea tray in front of Ruth. The bottom of the tea tray was evenly covered with a layer of wet sand brought home from the school playground. "Here, here you are," Ru Ling said, "You use this to practice calligraphy." As she spoke, she held a chopstick in her left hand and wrote the word "learning" on the small sand table.After finishing writing, she turned the chopsticks to level and smoothed the sand.Ruth did as she did, and found it easy and fun to write in this way.Using chopsticks to write on the sand does not require as much skill as holding a brush, and the brush can also be heavier so that the strokes are stable.She writes her name.Clearly!Cousin Billy got a small write-and-erase blackboard for Christmas, which is as fun to write as it is to write on the blackboard. Lu Ling took out the cold beef patties from the previous day from the refrigerator. "What would you like to eat tomorrow?" Still using her chopsticks, Ruth wrote, "Hamburger." Ru Ling smiled. "Ha! Then you can answer!" The next day, Lu Ling brought the tea tray to school and filled it with sand from the sandpit where Ruth broke her hand.Miss Sandiga agreed with Ruth's way of answering questions.When doing math problems, Ruth raised her hand and drew a "7" on the sand table, and all the children jumped out of their seats to watch.During recess, Ruth also became the center of everyone's attention.She listened to the other children chirping around her. "Let me try!" "I'll! I'll! She said let me!" "You have to use your left hand, or you won't count!" "Ruth, teach Tommy. He's too stupid to I don’t know how to use it.” They returned the chopsticks to Ruth, and Ruth answered all kinds of questions they raised on the sand table easily and quickly: Does your arm hurt?A little.Can I touch your plaster cast?Can.Does Richie love Bessie?Yes.Can I get a new bike for my birthday?can. They treated Ruth like Helen Keller, as if she too were an indomitable genius, breaking through the barriers of illness and displaying extraordinary intelligence.跟海伦?凯勒一样，她所要做的，无非就是得更加努力，也许正是勤奋才使她显得才智过人，这种努力也为她赢得了别人的钦佩。甚至在家里，妈妈也会征求她的意见。 “你以为如何？”好像就因为露丝把答案写在沙子上，她的回答就一定准，她就无所不知了。 “你觉得今天晚上我做的豆腐好不好吃？”一天晚上，茹灵问道。 露丝写道：“太咸。”她以前从来没有批评过妈妈做的饭菜，不过妈妈自己也常常批评自己做的菜太咸。 “我也觉得太咸。”妈妈回答。 这太神气了！不用多久，妈妈就开始就各种问题请教女儿的意见了。 “我们现在去买菜还是等一会再去？”等一会。 “股票行情怎么样？我买股票的话，你觉得我运气能好吗？”好。 “你喜欢我这件衣服吗？”不，难看。露丝从没发觉，文字竟有这么巨大的力量。 妈妈皱了皱眉头，然后用中文低声说，“你爸爸非常喜欢这件旧裙子，所以我怎么也不能把它扔掉。”她眼睛都湿润了，叹了口气，又用英文说：“你觉得爸爸他会想我吗？” 露丝马上写道“会的”。Mom laughed.然后露丝突然想出了个主意。她一直想要一只小狗。现在不要，更待何时啊。于是她在沙子上写道：“小狗”。 妈妈突然倒吸一口气。她盯着这两个字，不可思议地摇着头。这下糟了，露丝心想，这个愿望恐怕是满足不了了。不料妈妈竟呜咽起来，用中文呼唤着，“小狗儿，小狗儿”。她又突然跳起来，胸膛剧烈地起伏着。“宝姨，”茹灵叫道。“您回来了。我是您的小狗儿呀。您肯原谅我了？” 露丝放下了手中的筷子。 茹灵抽泣不已。“宝姨啊，宝姨！真希望你没死啊！一切都是我的错，要是我能回到过去，改变定数，我就是死也不愿意离开你，一个人活在这世上受苦啊……” 哎，糟糕，露丝明白怎么回事了。妈妈有时会说起这个宝姨，她的鬼魂就飘荡在空中，她生前不守规矩，死后被打到阴间。 所有的坏人死后都要落进这个无底深渊，谁也找不到他们，他们注定要在阴间游荡，长头发湿淋淋的垂到脚下，浑身都是血。 “求求你了，说你不生我的气了，”妈妈接着说。“快显灵吧。我一直想跟您说说，我后悔啊，悔死了，就是不知道您听到了没有。您听得见吗？您几时到美国来的？” 露丝坐在那里，一动不动。她还是想回去接着谈谈吃的穿的那些个话题。 母亲把筷子塞到露丝手里。“拿着，闭上眼睛，把脸朝着天，对宝姨说话。等着她答话，然后把她的话写下来。快点，闭上眼睛。” 露丝使劲闭上眼睛。眼前浮现出一个女人，长头发一直垂到脚跟。 然后露丝听到妈妈很恭敬地用中文说：“宝姨啊，您临终前我说的那些话都是些胡言乱语，您千万别往心里去呀。您死了以后，我想去找回您的遗体。” 露丝不由睁开了眼睛。她想像中那个长头发的女鬼一直在转圈子。 “我下到山谷里，到处得找啊找。唉，我难过得要疯掉了。要是我当初能找回您的遗体，一定把您的尸骨带回到山洞里去，好好地安葬。” 露丝感到有东西碰到自己肩膀，不由吓了一跳。“问问她我说的话她都明白不明白，”茹灵下令。“问她我是不是该转运了？她的诅咒结束了吗？我们是不是平安了？把她的答案写下来。” What curse?露丝瞪着面前的沙盘，将信将疑地以为那死去女人的脸会浮现在一滩血泊之中。妈妈到底想要什么样的答案呢？回答“是”是说诅咒结束了呢？还是说还在继续呢？她把筷子指在沙上，却不知该写什么。她划了一横，下面又划一道，然后再划两条线组成一个方型。 “口！”妈妈对着那个方型图案叫道。“那是个'口'字！”她眼睛盯着露丝。“你根本不认识汉字，却能写出'口'字来！你觉得宝姨在牵引着你的手没有？是什么感觉？快告诉我！” 露丝摇摇头。What exactly happened here?她想叫却又不敢叫。她不应该出声的啊。 “宝姨啊，谢谢您教我女儿。我很惭愧她只会说英语。让您这么跟她交流想必叫您很为难。可现在我知道了，我的话您都听得到。我是真心诚意地想要把您的尸骨带回周口店的猴嘴洞去。我一刻也不曾忘记自己的承诺。一旦我能回到中国，我马上就去履行诺言。谢谢您提醒我。” 露丝不知道自己到底写了什么。一个方型就能代表这么多意思？难道屋子里真的有鬼不成？到底有什么在操纵着筷子和自己的手？不然为什么她的手一直在颤抖？ “可能很长时间里我还是回不去中国，”茹灵接着说，“还是求您原谅我。求您知道，自打您离开我以后，我是天天受罪，日子过得苦不堪言。我求您了，若是诅咒还不算完，求您要了我的命去吧，只要您放过我女儿就行。我知道她最近的事故就是个警告。” 露丝放下了手中的筷子。这么说来那个满头血的女人是想要她的命！原来那天在操场上，她真是差点没命。她当时觉得自己就要一命呜呼了，敢情全是真的。 茹灵捡起筷子，还想往露丝手里塞。但露丝握紧了拳头，又把沙盘推到一边。妈妈把沙盘推回到她眼前，嘴里还不停地嘟囔：“您能找到我真是教我太高兴了。我等了这么多年，终于可以跟您对话了。您每天都能引导我。每天都能教导我日子该怎么过。” 妈妈转身对露丝说。“让她每天都来。”露丝摇摇头。她想从椅子上溜下去。“快说呀！”茹灵敲着桌子，催促道。这时露丝终于开口了。 “不！”她大声说。 "I do not want." “哇！你又能说话了！”妈妈换回英文说道。“是宝姨帮你治好的吗？” 露丝点点头。 “那就是说诅咒结束了？” “是的，可她说她得回去了。她还说我需要休息。” “她原谅我了？她——” “她说一切都会好起来的。一切。明白了吗？我们不应该老担惊受怕的。” 妈妈总算松弛下来，开始低声啜泣。