Chapter 13 4-2

Yes.we know. In fact, we didn't do what Mom said, we just kept being careful not to let Mom find out. Chandler, the oldest of us, has always been like that.Royal, seven years younger than his brother.Juliet, born in 1961.She was born too late to know these things. Those old rusty coops!I still dream about it sometimes. The next door neighbor told us that those cages used to house rabbits.Those rabbits are docile, with long soft ears and glassy eyes.Then they grew too big to fit in the cage.Sometimes their fur pokes through the wire of these coops and flaps gently in the wind.Rabbits are solitary animals, and each rabbit has a litter.There are seven nests here.I still have some in the cellar at home, more rusty.Chandler once asked why the rabbits were kept in such small cages, but got no clear answer.

Underneath the cage is the hardened excrement, lost in the weeds like a not-so-valuable gem. This was all before I was born.The body was never found.Near the twisted guardrail, the Lincoln was pulled from the Niagara River, but the body was never found.Therefore, there are no funerals and no cemeteries. Probably no mourning either, no memory. Alia never mentioned him.Alia also didn't let us ask about him.It's not that our unknown father is dead (we know, under mysterious circumstances, that he is), but that we don't have a father.Long before he died, for us, he was dead by his own choice.

He betrayed us.He has left the family. 1 This cemetery! Royall felt that the warm sunshine here was not quite right.Can't tell what's wrong, but there's definitely something wrong. He doesn't intend to stay here for too long.His mind was like a hive, and it took a while for all his thoughts to act.But if he doesn't lose his patience by the end, Royall will likely act on those thoughts. It was a Friday morning in October 1977.Royall is 19 years old and will soon be married. Painful Royall, does anyone know why?Most of the time, he always keeps this secret. He had been driving back and forth to this cemetery on Portage Road for more than a year and had long wanted to visit.This old forgotten place is next to an abandoned church, which looks lonely and deserted.Royall has noticed this.It was out of pity, he thought, and even out of curiosity.Both mean the same thing, Aaliyah would say.

If Alia saw Royall here, she would be very annoyed.However, she won't know. Royall walked through the open front door and into the cemetery.The door was made of iron and was stained with rust.The letters above have rusted beyond recognition.The workers in the cemetery are not far from the door. They are old, exposed to the wind and sun every day, and their faces are full of vicissitudes. The time they worked here can be traced back to—when?The man Royall saw working here the longest was as thin as a playing card, with his back arched, as if he might fall at any moment.The letters were too faint for Royall to read, but the dates seemed to be 1741-1789.So long ago that Royall couldn't figure out how many generations there had been since then, which made him feel dizzy.

Of course, Niagara Falls and the Canyon are like the earth, millions of years old, but they are not alive.They were never alive, and they will never die.This is the most important difference. Royall likes it here because he doesn't know anyone who's dead.He had never been to a cemetery, nor had he seen a grave. Why so strange, Royall's fiancée asked him.Most of us know many people who have died. Royall laughed and told her that, like his mother said, our Burnabys were no ordinary family. The cemetery is overgrown with weeds, spiky thistles and heather, full of cemetery workers and crumbling stone walls that the caretaker (if there is one) probably can't clean it up.Royall had an urge to do the weeding himself. (Sometimes he likes to weed. Not all the time, but sometimes. His back, shoulders, and arms are very muscular. His hands are calloused and rough. They are big, powerful Palms. At home, Royall always pushes a hand mower to mow the lawn. If Royall procrastinates, Alia grabs the mower herself and pushes it forward, panting angrily. Angry, tumbling the blunt blade of the lawnmower in a pile of hay, embarrassing Royall in such a way.)

On a warm autumn day, in this forgotten place, Royall thought it was beautiful, but something was wrong.People who have died cannot feel the sunlight.Their mouths are full of dirt.Their eyes could no longer be opened.Radioactive bones, glowing white in the dark soil. Where do you get all these strange ideas of yours, Royall's fiancée keeps asking him.Then immediately kissed him on the mouth, so that he had no time to get angry. Royall didn't want to tell her it was all from my dreams.from the dirt. In fact, Royall was sure he'd seen radioactive bones somewhere, in a book or some magazine.Maybe what he saw were some X-rays.There is also a photo of a Japanese family whose home in Hiroshima is just a charred blurred outline on the wall, just a few minutes from Royo when President Harry S. Truman ordered the atomic bomb dropped on enemy Japan. It was a long time before Al and Kandersi were born.

Royall never told Candesi the things that upset her.In fact, when he was a child, he already knew what not to say and what not to ask.If you do something wrong, Mom will back off with a straight face, as if you were going to slap her.If you are obedient, your mother will hug and kiss you, dangling you in her thin but powerful arms. Royall found himself whistling all the time.A small bird slid lightly across the tall elms, chirping back to Royall.Royall's fiancée was tempted to say that he was the best whistling boy she had ever seen. fiancée!Tomorrow, just after 11 a.m., Candesi will be his bride.

It's a strange custom.Royall had never noticed before.A new entity was about to come into the world: Mrs. Royal Burnaby.But now, this new individual does not yet exist. In that brick and mortar house on the Baltic, now and then a letter would arrive for Mrs. Dirk Burnaby, or Mrs. D. Burnaby.These appear to be official letters, from Niagara Falls, NY.Alia quickly put them away.She was Aaliyah Burnaby, if anyone else wanted to know. Royall discovered that the cemetery was much larger than he had imagined when he passed by, about two acres.Some of the tall oaks and elms were dead, with dry leaves hanging from broken and withered branches.Heather, briar roses scattered here and there like barbed wire.Autumn here smells of leaves, with a faint smell of decay.The steep edges of the cemetery don't look right either.The graves on the hillside look as if they will slide down the hill in the next storm.The roots of the trees were exposed, and the wedge-like red soil had collapsed a lot due to corrosion.The roots seemed to be in pain or fear, like a dead man trapped in the soil, trying to escape.

For a split second Royall felt dizzy and his whistle slowed.Then Royall pulled himself together and whistled. Is someone watching him?He looked around, frowning.He remembered seeing a Ford sedan parked by the church with a very low hook just now, older than his.Royall's 1971 Chevrolet, bought for $300 from his owner at Devil's Hole Tours, has been repainted (sky blue with ivory trim) and sits at the cemetery doorway. His boss, Captain Stu, would be as pissed off as his mother Alia if he saw Royall hanging out in this pointless place.Royall whistled and his feet creaked in the wet earth.At this point, Royall should actually be driving to work. (Royal was an assistant to Captain Stu, the navigator of the excursion boat. Royall wore a crew-style waterproof uniform, and his title was "Royal, Captain's Assistant." Because Royall was 20 years younger than Captain Stu, and He is handsomer than him, so usually the ecstatic female tourists and children ask for a photo with Royall. In 1976, when he was still a student at Niagara Falls High School, Royall started working at the "Devil's Hole" and earned a lot of money. A lot of money.)

Royall doesn't ask himself why on earth am I here?He is not that kind of person. Royall will not be as careful as a chess player, making every step.He will not ask why, why now?I'm getting married tomorrow morning. Royall found some later graves.Most of these dead were born in the early 20th century, and some of them died in the war in the 1940s.On one of the tombstones is a winged guardian angel made of concrete with pale, hollow eyes and broken ears. This is the tombstone of a man named Bromeer, who was born in 1898. , died in 1962, not too far from now.Watch out for a voice alerting Royall.You have to be careful, boy.The voice, though sly, was kind, and he heard it sometimes when he was about to make a mistake.

Most of the time, Royall had no idea what the voice was saying.If he listened more carefully, the sound disappeared.But he still finds it comforting.It was as if someone was thinking of him, Royal Burnaby, though his good sense told him no one was thinking of him at all. Royall's sister, Juliet, said she sometimes heard voices like that telling her to do bad things. bad thing!Royall smiled. Juliet is the kind of person who can't bear to hurt even a small bug. Why does that voice want you to do bad things?asked Royall.Juliet answered very seriously, for we are cursed.our last name. curse?Like the zombie's curse?Royall couldn't help laughing, such a conversation was ridiculous.There is no such thing as a curse.Just ask Chandler.Ask mom. Juliet said stubbornly, Royall, I can only hear the voices talking.But I couldn't make out what it was saying. Ok.Royall didn't believe in curses at all.But Chandler, the backbone of the family, believed it. Still, Royall quickened his pace, as if he had a definite destination at the moment and was no longer wandering around.The sky above was very pale, as if bleached.The sun shone down, hot and pale.As if something was melting.The slanting sun hinted that it was now autumn.Around the Niagara Gorge, the air is always cold and damp; but here inland, the grass wafts an earthy, rotten smell.Royall stopped and closed his eyes.The smell reminded him of—smoke?Sweet Corona cigars.Royall didn't smoke (alias had taught his children that smoking was a nasty habit, no better than drugs, and she was proud of herself for doing it) Royall tasted the cigarettes offered by the longtime speculators as they wandered downtown.He was choking and coughing, and his eyes were swollen with tears, so he decided not to smoke cigars.Still, the heavy, earthy smell of tobacco drew him in. The thought of getting married tomorrow sent a sex drive up Royall's thighs.Tomorrow, for the first time, he would sleep with Candesi in a bed that was actually theirs, and spend the night with her. A narrow stone road leads to the gate into the center of the cemetery. The gate is not closed, but if you walk along this road, you will suddenly find that there is no road ahead.There are many rows of tombstones here, and the deceased were all born in the early 20th century and died between the 1940s and 1960s.It's already October, but it's surprisingly hot today.The sun was shining brightly without a breath of wind.It's hard to feel that Niagara Falls is less than two miles away. The cemetery, Royall realized, was like the city.The injustice of his lifetime continued here.Most of the tombstones are made of stone, which has been exposed to the wind and sun, and covered with birdlime, while some are made of granite or marble, which is magnificent and expensive, and the front of the tombstone is engraved with inscriptions, which is very bright. .This is undoubtedly a Christian cemetery.Everywhere are inscriptions proclaiming the joy of death, proclaiming heaven.The LORD is my Shepherd, I will not want. ① Also, today I will be with you in heaven. Do Christians really believe in the resurrection after death?This has always been a mystery to Royall, and Candesi always stutters to explain it to him. Alia always said contemptuously that there is no God, but she also said—"God is watching us." But this only made the human situation worse.Because God is very cunning and unpredictable.In the terms of gambling, God took all the good cards.God holds the game.This game is God.You don't have to expect to know God or His plans, but He's always here, so you have to be careful.If at any time a flu-like religious frenzy overwhelmed Alia, she might have the children accompany them to church, but most of the time she despised such superstitious—cowardly—behavior. Here at Niagara Falls, there's this joke: who needs hell?We have the canal of love. Royall craned his neck to look at the ten-foot-tall Jesus on the stone cross.There is also a bird's nest made of hemp rope and straw on the cross.Jesus has a beautifully sculpted head with a victorious expression, despite the thorns all over it.I will rise again.Royall shuddered, there was something chilling about it.He is thankful that he was not baptized a Christian.People expect too much from you!Nearby are some angels made of stone.One or two of them were so old that it was hard to tell whether they were male or female.Maybe angels have no gender?Royall's favorite was the boyish angel with eagle-like wings and a dour, aggressive look on his upper lip.Kind of like a royale.The bird's droppings glowed green on the angel's head and wings, but he still held his head up bravely and looked up at the sky.Swarms of angels are singing to lull you to sleep.Royall wondered what kind of fanatical desire inspired the idea of ​​an angel in the first place. "Could it be dreamed by someone?" When alone, Royall likes to speak out loud with confusion.This is the same as whistling, humming loudly, and even singing loudly. It is a habit he has developed since childhood.They laughed when they heard it, and thought Royal Burnaby was a happy and simple man. But not mature enough, not motivated enough.Royall barely made it through high school, though (as his teachers insisted) he was more than smart and not hardworking.He was known for his warm heart at school, and he often volunteered to take on various jobs, such as helping others push tables and chairs in the cafeteria, and climbing several flights of stairs to help others carry things.He has helped more than one teacher change a car tire, and has helped a teacher push a car out of a snow embankment.He failed a class because on final exam day a friend needed help, and Royall went.He narrowly missed graduating with his classmates last year.Royal Burnaby was considered by all to be the "most polite" student in his senior class.If it weren't for his distraction, he might well have been one of the dozen or so Niagara Falls high school seniors to make it to college.He graduated without even a New York State government diploma, only a local high school diploma. Royall's older brother, Chandler, was a different story. He was the top student at Niagara Falls High, but who wanted to be like him?He is too shrewd about his own interests.But when he encountered any problem, his brain might not be enough.As a scholarship student at Buffalo State University, he nearly dropped out as a freshman because of his "neuroticism."He now works as a junior high school teacher in the Niagara Falls area, earning less than Royall, and all Royall needs to do is take a group of screaming tourists on a boat to the swirling Niagara Gorge They came back safe and sound. Royall saw movement on the far side of the cemetery.At the nearest place to the church, a lonely figure was clearing a grave, with a pair of large scissors in his hand, dancing quickly. Royall felt another sudden and strong urge in the base of his thigh.The urge came out of nowhere. Royall came to the hill behind the cemetery. The tombstone here is not long ago, and it was built from August 1977.There are not many tombstones here, because the entire cemetery is almost full.In this cold, wet place without weeds, the small plots are more neatly divided than other places, and they look more ordinary. Here, all the tombstones, large and small, stand neatly.The front of the tombstone is as smooth as Liguang board.The grave-sweepers brought geraniums and hydrangeas, but most of the flowers were long dead.And plastic Easter lilies, plastic wreaths, little flags hanging low.Royall scanned the tombstones quickly and nervously, as if looking for a name he was familiar with, and if asked what name he was looking for, Royall himself could not answer. He would answer the question jokingly, just as Aaliyah did. "When I see it, I know what I'm looking for." At the foot of the mountain, a woman in black was waiting for him. Royall sprinted down the eroded slope, holding on to exposed tree roots for balance.He only had five minutes to get to work.That's typical Royale style!That's what he is!His sense of time has been completely lost.By the time he gets to the Devil's Hole Cruise, a reason will come out easily and fluently, so he needn't worry.He strode past the rows of graves, not paying attention to the road under his feet.Suddenly he saw a woman standing not 20 yards away from him, staring at him.She stared at him intently.Did Royall know her?Should I say hello politely?Or did she know Royall?The woman was wrapped in several layers of black clothing, covering her ankles.Her tousled black hair was interspersed with strands of gray that looked like cracks.She smiled vaguely, her lips twitching. Royall's steps slowed, like a deer shot by an arrow, not life-threatening, but enough to stop him.He didn't want to keep staring at the woman rudely, but he couldn't help it.From a distance, one would mistake it for a young woman, about Juliet's age, but a little closer, in the naked, whitish sunlight, reveals that she is much older than Juliet, probably in her early forties.But she still acted like a little girl, standing there panting.Her skin was as pale as paper, and her eyes were sunken.Her cheeks were thin, and her slightly protruding cheekbones were carefully daubed with rouge.She has a morbid beauty, with a hint of the vicissitudes of life, like a movie star in the 1940s, whose heyday is long gone.Her curly, tousled hair fell to her shoulders with a few white strands thrown in.Her clothes were the strangest among all the people who came to the cemetery: a shimmering black tights, wrapped around her thin body, hanging down to her ankles, like a nightgown, and a black tights over the tights. Satin jacket, unbuttoned, trimmed with black feathers.The buttons of this jacket are made of black crystal stones, shining brightly.Around the woman's neck was a scarf with black hooks, as thin as a spider's web.She was barefoot, and they were long, thin, and very fair.Looking at the feet in the tangled grass, Royall swallowed hard.Leaning on the weathered tombstone, she watched expectantly as Royall walked toward her. Royall realized the woman was waiting for him.She saw Royall go up the hill just now, and she was waiting here for him to come down.She had put the scissors next to the tombstone she had just cleared. "Hello." The woman's voice was small, hoarse, panting. Royall blushed and muttered "Hello." "Do we know each other?" "I think—we don't know each other, ma'am." "Oh, I think we know each other." The woman smiled, a warm, tea-colored gleam in her eyes.Royall wondered if she was drinking too much, or taking drugs, or if she was mildly deranged.She stretched out her nervous right hand, and pressed the end of the spider web-like scarf to her right chest, as if implying to some extent that there was a beating heart inside.Royall's knees shook. This feeling made Royall uneasy.Fire-like excitement began to make the roots of his thighs tremble, although he knew it was wrong.He also understood that this was ridiculous.She's old enough to be Royall's mother!For some reason, she does look familiar.Is it a friend that Alia met in which small church in the past few years?Or the neighbors in the Baltic Sea?Or the mom of a friend from high school?Or the mother of one of his ex-girlfriends?Maybe her next words were that she and her daughter miss Royall terribly.Royall was a careless boy who took little trouble to memorize the names of the people he met, judging by his childish logic: he would see them again anyway, and if he never did, then What is the use of remembering their names?And Royall is especially prone to forgetting the names of older people.He couldn't remember the name of his so-called aunt who lived on the Big Island, and during the summer at school he had forgotten the names of many teachers. The woman seemed to understand that Royall's wandering thoughts were akin to adolescent panic, and she walked briskly to Royall's side, squeezing his hand firmly.She smiled and tugged on Royall.She was a few feet shorter than Royall, and looked up at Royall with expectancy, as natural as a flower expects the sun.She whispered, "I must know you. That's right. You're his son. Oh, what a— what a miracle." The woman took Royall's face in her slender hands and leaned boldly against him. body, gently kissing his mouth like a mother.Royall was completely dumbfounded, not knowing what to do.He instinctively wanted to push her away: this must be a ruse, a trap, Royall had been brought up to be polite to elders, especially a woman who seemed to have plans for him.He stood there rooted, silent, like a hapless character in a cartoon.The woman was close at hand, gazing at him passionately.Her eyes were hazy and bloodshot, but to Royall they were beautiful and deep, with a hazel gleam.Her skin was translucent and stretched over her delicate cheekbones; a few faint blue veins appeared on her temples.Her face was lightly powdered, and her deep red lips were so full that Royall thought they were beautiful.Her tights were loose, and from her neckline, Royall could see her frighteningly pale skin and half-exposed breasts.Royall felt an impulse come over him, warm and tender.His eyes were a little moist, he was very happy, it was all so sudden. "My dear boy. I knew it was you. Come here, come here!" The woman smiled and took his hand.She was still stroking Royall's cheek, kissing him swiftly and lightly, like moths on his lips, mysteriously elusive.Royall dared not put his arms around her.She continued to caress him kindly and intimately, like a mother caressing a child, benevolent but reproachful. "Come on. Ah, come on." They were in a hidden place only a child could find between two tall tombstones, a grave-looking guardian angel with faded wings, the other A tattered national flag the size of a handkerchief hung on it.The woman grabbed Royall's arm, amused by the alert look on his face; her kiss was more intense than before; her eager lips kissed Royall's, and Royall opened his mouth and touched her The warm tongue, as nimble as a snake, teased her desire.An excitable young lad is already horny by the moment.The blood in his six-foot-two body seemed to freeze, and all the blood rushed to the base of his thigh, hitting him like a giant mallet.A chaotic sound reached his ears.Bees were buzzing overhead, and not far from them on the other side of the cemetery, a freight train passed: the same train that sped past Burnaby's house at 1703 Baltic, and every time it passed, it always The window panes trembled, and Alia rubbed her temples in distress. "Dear child. Your hair and eyes are just like his. Oh, I knew it before." The woman stood on tiptoe, her bare white feet trembling.Royall grabbed her, awkwardly at first, then harder.So excited!Excited.Even in his dreams, Royall did not imagine that he would have the courage to unbutton the loose blouse of a woman whose name he did not know, and the gesture pierced him like a knife blade.Confused, dizzy, Royall bent down to kiss her pale, soft breasts, the rose-colored beige nipples contracting and hardening under his suck.The woman started moaning and took Royall's head in her arms. "I know. I knew I'd run into you if I came this morning. Ah, it's a miracle. You." They lay in the damp tangled grass.Royall's mind was unconscious, like a light that was suddenly turned off.Royall's hands ran recklessly over her body, grabbing her shimmering dress, and she lifted her hips, lifted the skirt, and yanked off her panties.In fact, her actions like this fascinated Royall.He glanced at the woman's pale, slender thighs, and the black space between them. Suddenly Royall was so shy that he couldn't take off his pants by himself.His hands were too big, clumsy as hooks.The woman unzipped his trousers and whispered, smiling, "My dear. My dear." Royall felt the noise growing louder in his ears.He was being dragged step by step toward the deepest part of the violently turbulent Niagara Canyon.In the frenzied water under the "Devil's Hole", the cruise ship bumped up and down, women and children shouted in horror, Royall drove the boat, followed the prescribed direction, and finally landed.Now, he and this unknown woman lay together, lying in each other's arms, enjoying the sudden naked intimacy.Can't go back.There is no other direction than forward.The whole world seems to shrink into an area the size of a tombstone, and there is no other direction here except to move forward.Royall knelt awkwardly before the woman, careful not to let his hot, lanky but strong body press down on her slender body.But the woman pulled him provocatively and murmured, quick!hurry up!Her vocal cords sounded tense.Royall's knees were shaking.He might be 14 years old, and he's nervous about being sexually inexperienced.Then the woman pulled him towards him, caressing and kissing him, as if Royall's tense, quivering body belonged to her, as familiar as her own.She led Royall's cock into the rough spot between her legs, and in, deep into her incredibly soft place; so soft that Royall couldn't believe it; soft like a flame lit by alcohol; Royol Er was so intoxicated by the flames that he almost lost control.The woman was lying in the grass, her hair was a little messy, scattered behind her head like a silk net. "Ah. Ah. Ah." She immediately felt pleasure.It was weird: Royall was used to girls who didn't feel much during sex, or girls who pretended to be high; but this older woman, sexy and eager, was nothing like the girls he'd ever had sex with. Again, she kept speeding up the tempo, then slowing down, kissing him, stroking his back and forth, gently kneading Royall's cock as he entered; Joel, the woman's slender and powerful thighs clamped him tightly, and he injected his own vitality into the woman's body.The woman trembled and writhed, clutching him as if they were drowning at the same time. I love you.Royall clenched his teeth, resisting the urge to scream. When he woke up, Royall was lying on his back in the arms of this woman he had never known before. They hugged each other intimately, as if they had kept this position and fell together from a height.Where are they and what time is it?Royall's mind was in turmoil and he had no memory of what had happened.Since he was a child, his sleep was not relaxed enough, and he often woke up suddenly, confused and tired, thinking about what happened in the dream, but only vaguely remembering it.Now, next to the abandoned stone church on Portage Road, lies this cemetery.The woman whispered in Royall's ear, kissed him, touched him, and Royall lay still for a few minutes, his mind blank.When he finally wanted to get up to leave, the woman quickly clamped his thighs, her hands tightly wrapped around his back.She whispered, "No, don't go yet. I'm lonely. I can't take it. Stay with me. Don't leave now." Her voice was confused and hoarse.She began kissing Royall rhythmically, stroking him, kneading him; Royall seemed to be surrounded by great throbbing, feeling like a baby in his mother's womb. "Don't go. Don't go. Don't leave me now." Finally, Royall's penis hardened again. 2 A boy who likes to whistle.Just the kind of guy a girl can't trust. That day.That was a long day in Royall's life. The first Friday in October 1977.The day before her wedding to Candace McCann.He loves Candesi and would never wish to hurt her. But: how can Royal marry now? His heart pounded with shame.Just before Royall got married, he had already been unfaithful to his wife. As Juliet said, there is a curse upon us Burnabys.You can feel it from the way people say our name. Royall arrived an hour and 20 minutes late at the river pier.His crew had set off, as had the two ships.Captain Stu was furious with him.Royall mumbled an apology.At this time, he was dizzy and his mouth was dry because of the woman in black, so he didn't think of making excuses.It was like facing a quiz on a high school exam, and Royall's mind went blank, like a wiped blackboard, not quite clean, but blotted and blurred.He stood there with his head bowed, his eyes downcast, while Captain Stu berated him harshly like an exasperated father, and sent him off to change his uniform again in time for the eleven o'clock cruise. Throughout the day, Royall smiled, blinked, and courteously addressed his "captain's assistant, Royall," like a sleepwalker.He was the youngest of several navigators employed by Devil's Hole Cruises.The female tourists, no matter their age, liked him very much, and even the children clamored for a photo with him.Standing at the helm of a spray-wet boat, smiling openly and frankly, he has been photographed thousands of times.Tourists always ask how much water flows at Royal Falls, and he always answers, as if for the first time, saying, "Six million cubic feet a minute, filling a million tubs in a second." The job of navigating tourists with Devil's Hole Cruises required physical strength, skill, patience, a little "charisma" and a little bit of ambition, which was perfect for Royall, who barely made it out of high school.Chandler was a little disappointed in his younger brother, hoping he would at least apply to a regional college like Buffalo State.但罗约尔喜欢在魔鬼洞巡游公司的这份工作，工作使他忙碌，也不要求想太多。想太多痛苦，想太多也没有用。事实上，阿莉亚鼓励罗约尔住在家里，想住多久就住多久。 罗约尔，还有他的未婚妻坎德西。直到小夫妇自己能买得起“像样”的地方住为止。 罗约尔匆忙登上游船。在船上他目标明确，权力在握，他是“船长助理罗约尔”。在拥挤的船上，站在舵旁边，他有种前所未有的自由感。他需要工作，需要承担责任。也许对陌生人负责要比对自己所熟悉和在意的人负责要好的多。游客是一种只关心如何财尽其用，花钱买到最多收获的人。他们贪婪又焦急地想看看到底有什么如此特别。他们保持注意力的时间不长，这倒是好事。他们很容易满足高兴，大瀑布又的确雄伟震撼，从不让游客们失望。有些人，不只是老人孩子，为大瀑布的宏伟吓得几乎晕厥过去，这倒是令人兴奋、颇具戏剧性而值得记忆的事。当真有人惊惶失措得到别人安慰时，旁边的人会心满意足，觉得钱花得值了。 不止一次地有人问过他：“你肯定有时也会害怕吧？你有发生过什么事故吗？”罗约尔微笑着做出认真对待这个问题的样子，回答道： “是，也不是。说是，是因为有时确实害怕。说不是，是因为魔鬼洞巡游船在尼亚加拉峡谷的22年服务中从未丢失过一名乘客。” 这引来大家宽慰的笑声。无论如何，这是真的。 在有专业领航的游船上，没人会受到来自大瀑布的危险。游览的路线是精心设计过的，领航员从不自己变更线路。就像钟表般机械，但又值得信赖。在所有关于大瀑布的庄严与“噩梦”中，危险是众所周知的，也是适于航行的，也成为了一种娱乐形式。当然，它也是生意。 危险是在大瀑布的上面而不是下面。你要是掉进上游的水中，就会被水冲走。 人们多次问过罗约尔，是否有“很多很多”的人在大瀑布自杀。罗约尔会礼貌地笑着回答：“绝对没有，那都是媒体夸大其辞。”任何一位受过指导、从事尼亚加拉大瀑布旅游业的雇员都会这么说。 参加魔鬼洞巡游，你必须换上码头提供的防水衣和防水帽。游客被告知旅途中遇水较多，应确保其手表相机是防水的；一看见水花四溅，游客们就开始大声尖叫躲避，游船就开始倾斜摇晃，上下颠簸，好像在过狂欢节。他们从左边的美州瀑布过去就到了马蹄瀑布，水在秋日阳光照耀下呈现出一片凝神的厚重的绿色，犹如溶化的玻璃。河水倾泻而下，震耳欲聋。罗约尔总爱这样描述那水声：就像成千上万的罐头盒子被源源不断地倾倒下来，从不停息。你会认为到现在罗约尔应该已经对此习惯了。在一定程度上，的确如此。有时候，他则像个机械工熟练的驾驶着船，每个步骤都记得清清楚楚。可有时候，像今天，他就心不在焉。想着那不可能发生的，那不是我。黑衣女人亲吻着他松弛的空幻般的嘴唇。即使当船试图穿过水雾时，脑海中黑衣女人仿佛还在用手臂像蛇一般缠绕着他的脖子。他盯着顺瀑布而下的水流。这密集、威力无比的物质可以数秒击毁任何东西，折断人的脊椎就像折断一根小木棍一样容易。他的脊椎曾像弓箭一样弯曲，当箭射出时，他像一个受伤的动物大声地呻吟着，那箭从他的腹股沟射出，同时又射进他的身体。他无法相信自己早上的所作所为，只能认为是黑衣女人对他进行了催眠。他的眼睛，她喃喃道，哦我知道，我认识你。 令人奇怪的是，大瀑布下面的水同大瀑布本身一样深。所以无论大瀑布意味着什么，它总是犹抱琵琶半遮面。你所能看见的只是尼亚加拉大瀑布的一半而已。 罗约尔永远都不会告诉坎德西他做过的事。和一个年龄可以当他母亲的陌生女人做爱。你喜欢这样，不是吗？很想再来一次，对吧？永远，罗约尔都不会向新娘坦白，他已经背叛了她。 20分钟过去了，游船准时返回码头。就这样来来回回，整个下午像钟表一样在机械的重复中度过。 该死，这不可能发生的。这肯定是个梦。 一个游客过来拽拽罗约尔的胳膊，“先生，能为您张照相吗？就在围栏边？您不介意琳达和您一起照吧？谢谢！” 那天的最后一次航行结束后，斯图船长坚持带罗约尔一起去喝点啤酒，因为罗约尔第二天就要去度蜜月了，要去一周时间，到时魔鬼洞巡游也会因季节原因而暂时歇业，直到明年五月才重新开始。“我会想你的，孩子，你是个好孩子。”斯图船长诚恳地用力握了握罗约尔的手，表明他已经原谅他早上的迟到了。他坏坏地朝罗约尔眨眨眼，祝他“航行”好运。罗约尔抹掉嘴边的啤酒沫子，面无表情地问他的老板：“什么航行啊？”斯图船长大笑：“结婚啊，孩子。你可需要十足的马力呀。” 斯图?弗莱切是一个有着白头发的五十多岁的健壮男人，鼻子因毛细血管破裂，像镭一样发亮。他不否认自己酗酒，抽烟也很凶。但他“非常喜欢”罗约尔——“你真像我儿子。只是我的亲儿子不愿为我工作。认为他应该当斯图船长。”罗约尔不安地笑了笑。从以前和这个年长男人的谈话中，罗约尔知道，斯图船长了解他。甚至罗约尔自己都不十分清楚自己是什么样的人。因为阿莉亚不允许他有这样的认识。你有妈妈，就不需要其他人了。罗约尔知道，当他还很小的时候，父亲就死了，但死以前就离开了阿莉亚和孩子们。德克?波纳比背叛了家庭，这是不可饶恕的罪过。从钱德勒那儿，罗约尔得知他们的父亲死于车祸，他的车冲向布法罗至尼亚加拉大瀑布的高速路护栏，掉进了尼亚加拉河里。钱德勒提醒罗约尔，别让阿莉亚发现他知道很多事，否则她会很生气的。朱丽叶总说在他们身上有诅咒，波纳比这个名字本身就是个诅咒，但是罗约尔对此更为了解。他在学校交友众多，还被评为尼亚加拉大瀑布高中七六级“最帅的男生”，——这听起来像诅咒吗？ 罗约尔和斯图船长泡在老荷兰人酒吧里，这个冒着烟的酒吧在尼亚加拉地区的闹市区，显然不适合也不吸引游客。斯图船长谈兴甚高，这倒挺好，因为罗约尔寡言少语，尤其今晚，更是如此。罗约尔若有什么问题本可以询问这位老人的，但他没有作声。 从没有人比黑衣女人更温柔地抚过他了。我们互相认识，不是吗？黑衣女人比其他任何人都更柔情地亲吻他，你的眼睛，他的眼睛，他没问，她说的是谁的眼睛。不知何故，罗约尔能够明白。 他理应顺路去看坎德西的。路很熟，但开车时罗约尔不断地走神儿。一束强烈的白日光照耀在一个天使石像仰起的面孔上。罗约尔闻见黑衣女人头发散发出潮湿的轻微的臭味。一缕头发落在他嘴上。哦，天哪。黑衣女人拉着他躺在缠结的草坪上时血液涌进罗约尔的腹股沟。她指导着他。英俊男孩，我们认识，不是吗？好像做梦一般，突然她拉开他的裤子，然后她指导着他，她如此娴熟地抚摸着他的阴茎，好像他们以前经常做爱一样。这事做起来容易，快乐也简单。他们简直可以像这样重复很多次。罗约尔使劲咽了一口唾液，双眼湿润。琥珀色的交通灯变红时，罗约尔没看见，直接开过了十字路口。有人按响了喇叭，有一辆行驶中的五月花有篷货车中，一个男人从车窗中探出身子大声嚷嚷。罗约尔轻声说了句，“该死”。他发现自己来到了费瑞大街，开过第五大街好几个街区了。 他继续朝前开。来到了第三十三街，他绕过了那个街区，以避开那所高中。Why?他可不想念那个鬼地方。能离开那里，他真是谢天谢地。尽管如此，他那时还很年轻，还没碰到坎德西（是阿莉亚把他俩搓合在一起的：阿莉亚是在附近一个教堂里认识坎德西的，坎德西在那个教堂的合唱团唱歌，阿莉亚毛遂自荐去那儿当了几个月的指挥，直到后来她逐渐丧失了对教堂的兴趣也就不再去了。）罗约尔有过其他女朋友，他想自己肯定也让这些女孩儿伤过心。罗约尔?波纳比，那个男孩会让你伤心的。好像每次这样的事发生时，罗约尔都不知情，也并非有意。女孩儿们爱他甜蜜亲切的微笑，直率坦诚的蓝眼睛和他温柔的触摸。他说出她们最想信以为真的话，尽管她们不应该相信的。罗约尔，我爱你。我真的很爱你。罗约尔，你爱我吗？哪怕只有一点点？ 这怎么是罗约尔的错，他的话脱口而出，是的，我爱你。 Yeah?you love Me?哦，罗约尔！ 是坎德西让罗约尔?波纳比成长为一个男人的。一个春天的夜晚，就在罗约尔的车里，坎德西哭倒在他的怀里，告诉他，她没有“来例假”——她感到既“羞愧又恐惧”。同时她很爱他，如果他不爱她，她“宁愿去死”。罗约尔感到一阵寒意涌上全身，尽管如此，他安慰坎德西说，他会照顾她，别哭了，他肯定会照顾她的。不过他搞不明白坎德西怎么会怀孕的；怎么会呢，罗约尔一直非常小心地；他们做爱的次数也并不多，无论如何也不可能让姑娘怀孕的。但事已如此，罗约尔想着那就这样吧。在内心里，罗约尔像他妈一样是个宿命论者。 亲爱的，我爱你，会好起来的。 are you sure?哦，罗约尔，你确定爱我吗？因为如果—— 坎德西，当然我确定！一切都会好的，我保证。 我不敢告诉我妈。我不能告诉她，除非—— 先别告诉她，直到你完全确定——。 罗约尔，我确定，我完全确定。至少12天来我都很肯定。哦罗约尔，你要不爱我—— 亲爱的我爱你！我说了我爱的。 但是——你想要娶我吗？即便——我没有—— 坎德西已经心碎般地哭了起来，除了安慰她罗约尔还能怎么办呢？他感到一阵激动、自豪和害怕，但最主要的是感到十分惊奇，他可能在九个月内就当父亲了；而多数时间他只感觉自己像个12岁左右的男孩儿。但无论怎样他不能让坎德西失望，他确实爱她。她几乎是他见过的最漂亮的姑娘，至少在尼亚加拉大瀑布地区是这样的。 罗约尔在市区的珠宝店买了一个订婚戒指，一粒他买得起的小钻石镶在银底座上，通过熟人还打了折，减去了90美元。于是罗约尔正式向坎德西求了婚，坎德西?麦卡恩噙着激动的泪水接受了他的求婚。 最初婚礼准备6月举行。当坎德西发现自己没有怀孕时，日期就推后到了10月。那时罗约尔在魔鬼洞公司的工作就结束了。 但是你还爱我吗？罗约尔？即使—— 亲爱的，当然。我比以前更爱你。 你当真吗？因为如果—— I am sure.