Chapter 41 Emile (Volume Six) Section Six

I am going to set out in this book all that is possible, so that every man may choose, according to his understanding, among the good things I have said.From the very beginning, I had thought of cultivating Emile's partner from a long time ago, cultivating her for Emile, and cultivating Emile for her at the same time, and I also planned to train the two of them together. .However, after thinking about it, I found that such a premature arrangement is not good, and, without finding out whether their combination is in line with the natural order, and whether there are conditions suitable for the combination between them It was absurd to predetermine that these two children would marry in the future.We must not confuse what is natural in a state of barbarism with what is natural in a state of civilization.In the former case, any woman is suitable for any man, since both men and women have only an original and common individuality; Due to the influence of the social system, each person's thinking is not only due to the education he has received, but also due to the correct or wrong cooperation between nature and education, which makes people form a unique personality. Therefore, both men and women must To choose, it is only necessary to introduce them to each other and let them see for themselves whether they are compatible with each other in all aspects, or at least let them make the choice that is most suitable for each other.

Unfortunately, social life, on the one hand, develops the character of man, and on the other hand, divides him into classes; and since the development of character does not coincide with the division of classes, the finer the division of classes, the easier it is for people of different classes to confused.It is for this reason that many unworthy marriages and outrages of order have arisen; and it is evident that the more unequal men are, the more perverted are the natural affections; the greater the difference in rank, the looser is the bond of marriage; The greater the disparity between rich and poor, the more ungrateful are fathers and husbands.Whether master or slave, they no longer love their home, what they value is their rank.

If you want to prevent these ills and have a happy marriage, you must put aside your prejudices, you must forget about human social institutions, and do only what nature wills.If a man and a woman are only compatible under certain conditions, then they cannot marry, because they will no longer be compatible with each other if the conditions change in the future; No matter where they live, no matter what social status they occupy, if they are compatible with each other, then they can form a husband and wife.I don't mean to say that social relations can be ignored in the matter of marriage. I mean that natural relations have a much greater influence than social relations. So exacting is the match in affection and character, that a wise father (even if he be a king or prince) should have no hesitation in obtaining for his son a woman who is compatible in these respects, though that woman be Born to a bad family, though she was the daughter of an executioner.Yes, I think that such a well-suited couple can stand all possible disasters, and when they live together in poverty, they are better than a divorced couple who owns all the world's wealth. The couple is much happier.

Therefore, instead of choosing a wife for Emile in his infancy, I waited to find a match for him.In fact, it is not I who claim this at all, but nature; my task is only to discover the mate that nature has chosen for him.The reason why I say it is my task and not his father's is that when his father handed him over to me, he simultaneously surrendered his father's position to me and his father's rights to me. Give it to me, I was the real father of Emile, and I brought him up.If I had not been able to marry him according to natural choice, that is to say, according to my choice, I might have refused to undertake the work of raising him.I am happy that I have made him a happy man, and this happiness will compensate me for all the pains I have expended in making him such a man.

But don't think that I've been procrastinating in finding a spouse for Emile, that I've been so procrastinating as to tell him to find her himself.The reason I am telling him to do this is simply to acquaint him with women, so that he can understand the qualities of a woman who is suitable for him.Sophie had been found long ago, perhaps Emile had seen her; but he would only know her when the time was right. Although equality of social status is not required in marriage, if both parties are equal in social status, and if they are also matched in other respects, then equal social status can make other matching factors more important. The value of more; equal social status does not counteract any single factor of compatibility, but if both parties are equal in every respect, their fitness for marriage depends on their equality in social status.

Even if a man were a prince, he could not have all the classes of women he wanted, because, though he had no prejudices, others did, and so, though a woman was worthy of him, he would be in the way. People's prejudices did not marry her.Therefore a prudent father is to be cautious and restrained in choosing a woman for his son.He didn't want to seek a marriage for his son with a family status higher than theirs, because it couldn't be decided by him.He ought not, if possible, to seek high ground; for what good is a noble family to a young man, especially to this young man whom I have brought up?If this young man really proposes a marriage, he himself will suffer a thousand kinds of pain, and he will be victimized throughout his life.I say especially, that things of such a different nature as high position and money, could not have replaced his losses, because they had done him as little good as he had suffered from them; Moreover, even if you want to balance the advantages and disadvantages, it is impossible, not to mention that everyone plans for himself, and the result is bound to create an opportunity for discord between two families, or even two couples.

A man's marriage with a family that is nobler or lower than himself has a lot to do with whether the marriage is happy or not.It is completely unreasonable to marry a woman whose rank is higher than one's; it is more reasonable to marry a woman whose rank is lower than one's.Since a family can only be connected with society through its parents, the social status of the parents can determine the social status of the whole family.When he marries a woman of lower rank, on the one hand he does not lower his own status, but on the other hand he raises the status of his wife; His wife's status has been lowered, and his own status has not been improved at all.Therefore, marrying a woman whose rank is lower than oneself is beneficial but not harmful, and marrying a woman whose rank is higher than oneself is harmful but not beneficial.Besides, according to the natural order, women should also obey men.Therefore, if he marries a woman of a lower rank than himself, the order of nature and the order of society agree with each other, and everything goes well.If, however, he marries a woman of higher rank, the situation is just the opposite; he must choose between the latter two cases: to injure his kindness if he does not injure his rights, and to do no wrong. who is despised.In this case, women must covet the authority of men, and must treat men with dominance; in this way, parents become slaves instead, and become the most ridiculous and despicable people among human beings.Such is the pitiful look of a man who marries the daughter of an emperor of an Asian country: on the one hand, he is honored by his marriage to the royal family, and on the other hand, he is also tortured by it. It is said that when they go to sleep with their wives, You can only get on the bed from the foot of the bed.

I think many readers, recalling that I have said that women have an innate gift for dominance over men, will reproach me for repeating the inconsistency here; they have mistaken my meaning entirely.There is a completely different thing between having the right to command and restraining those who command.The way a woman controls a man is to control a man with tenderness, skillful means and courteous attitude; she orders him to do things by caring for him, and frightens him by crying.She should rule his house like a minister, so that she can order the man to do what she wants.From this point of view, I can guarantee that every house that is well-governed is the house where women have the most authority.But if she didn't understand her man's mind, if she tried to steal his rights and dictate to him, she would mess up a family and cause a lot of pain and shame.

Therefore, if you want to choose, you can only choose between people who are equal to your own level or people who are lower than your own level; I think that when choosing the latter, you need to be subject to certain restrictions, because the lower class It is hard to find a woman in a crowd who can make an honest man happy and happy.The reason for this is not that the women of the lower class are worse than those of the upper class, but because they have no concept of goodness and beauty, and because the people of the upper class have done many unrighteous things, so that they put their own All kinds of vices are also regarded as legitimate actions.

Man does not think with his head very much, as he learned the other arts, so he learned it later, and only with difficulty.As far as men and women are concerned, I think there are really but two classes of beings: the thinking and the unthinking; and this distinction is almost entirely due to education.A thinking man should not marry a woman without thinking, because, if he married such a woman, he would have to use his thinking alone, and would thereby lack the greatest joy of living together. .People who work hard for life all day long, they think only of their work and interests, and their spirit seems to be poured into their arms.This state of ignorance does not hinder, but often contributes to, their honesty and morality; we often think too much about our calling, but end up talking and not doing it. .Conscience is the wisest of philosophers, and it is not necessary to study Cicero's Discourses in order to be honest; the most honest woman in the world may be the most I don't understand what being honest is.It is true that there is no pleasure in the company of well-bred people; and even if a father loves his home, if he alone knows himself there, if no one knows what is in his heart. If you don't understand, this is really a big spoiler.

Besides, how can a woman bring up her children if she has no habit of exercising her mind?How can she judge what is right for her child to do?How can she teach her children to love virtue when she herself does not know what virtue is?She can only pamper or frighten children, make them cowards if they are not domineering, and reckless naughty children if they are not monkeys who imitate grown-ups. It is impossible for her to raise bright and lovely children. Therefore, it is not suitable for an educated man to marry an uneducated woman, and he should not choose his wife from a class that has no opportunity for education.I would, however, much prefer a simple and poorly educated woman to a learned and talented one, for she would make my home a forum for literature, presided over by her.Talented women are a disaster to husbands, children, friends, servants, and all others.As she thought she had a high degree of talent, she despised the vocation of women, and insisted on making herself a man like Miss Deroncloth.As soon as she enters the society, she will do many ridiculous things, so that she is justly criticized by others, because, on the one hand, as long as she does not keep her duty, she will definitely become a ridiculous and popular person. Criticism, on the other hand, if she wants to imitate a man, she will not be able to learn it.A woman of great talent can frighten only fools.We know that when they are painting or writing, there is actually another male painter or boyfriend writing for them, and a faceless writer who secretly guides them.No honest woman would have bothered to engage in such braggarty tricks.Even if she had some real talent, it would be detrimental to her talent if she had a high self-importance.Her dignity lies in being unknown, her glory lies in her husband's respect for her, her happiness lies in the happiness of her family.I leave to you, readers, to judge for yourselves, to tell me honestly what, when you enter a woman's room, makes you think more highly of her, what makes you doubt her. walk up to her with reverence; see her busy with her needlework, busy with housework, surrounded by children's clothes, or see her composing poems on the dressing table, surrounded by all kinds of little books and colorful The little piece of paper that makes you respect her even more?If all men on earth were sober-minded, such a learned woman might remain a virgin all her life: "Jara, are you asking me why I don't want to marry you? Because you speak too politely." After talking about the above points, it is time to talk about the appearance of women.Looks are the first thing that catches our attention, but it is also the last thing we should consider, but that does not mean that good looks are unimportant.In my opinion, not only should we not pursue but also avoid seeking a beautiful woman as a wife.As soon as you have a woman, you soon find her unattractive; six weeks later, although she seems to you no more than that, as long as she exists, she will give you You bring many dangers.Unless a beautiful woman is an angel, her husband will be the most miserable of men; and if she were an angel, how could she not keep him surrounded by enemies at all times?If very ugly looks were not so repulsive, I would rather choose very ugly women than very beautiful; Beautiful people bring trouble, but ugly people bring good.But it is the worst thing to be ugly if it is repulsive; and the feeling of repulsion not only does not go away, but increases constantly, until finally it becomes resentful.Such a marriage is tantamount to hell, marrying such a woman is better than dying. For everything, ask for it to be moderate; even beauty is no exception.A delicate and charming appearance, although it cannot attract your love, can make you like it, so we should choose this appearance; on the one hand, a woman with this appearance will do no harm to her husband, and on the other hand, it will harm both parties. Both are good.Gentle demeanor does not disappear as quickly as beauty, it is alive, it can be constantly renewed; after thirty years of marriage, a gentle woman can still make her husband feel as happy as on the wedding day. joy. It is precisely because of these aspects that I chose Sophie.She was also a student of nature like Emile, and she was more suitable for him than any other woman, and she was his future wife.She was equal to him in birth and every merit, and slightly inferior to him in wealth.She doesn't look pretty at first glance, but the more you look at her, the more you like her.Her great charm came gradually, and was seen only in close quarters with her, as no one in the world could more deeply understand it than her husband.Her education is neither deep nor shallow, she has some hobbies without definite purpose, some unskilled talents, and some judgments, but her knowledge is not enough.She has no knowledge in her heart, but she has been trained to study it, just like a well-cultivated field, as long as you sow the seeds, there will be a harvest.She had read nothing but the arithmetic book made by Barham, and The Adventures of Tiemachus, which happened to fall into her hands; Can a child have a heart that is unfeeling and a mind that lacks intelligence?O sweet innocent girl!Happy is the man who will be her teacher in the future!She is not her husband's teacher, but his student. Not only does she not force him to follow her interests, but she is also willing to follow his interests.If she had been a maester, she would be more useful to him than she was, and he would be glad to teach her.At last the time has come for them to meet, let us hasten to make them meet. We left Paris with somber and brooding hearts.This chaotic city is not the center of our activities.Emile glanced contemptuously at this great city, and said in a resentful tone: "We have been looking for so many days here! Ah! The wife I want will not be here. My friend, all this you are I know it very well, but you don't cherish my time at all, and you don't care about my pain at all." I fixed my eyes on him and said to him calmly: "Emile , Think about what you said, right?" He immediately jumped over and hugged my neck, showing a sad look, and hugged me tightly without saying a word.When he finds out that he has done something wrong, he always expresses his heart like this. We walked across the fields like two rangers, but we did not, as they did, for adventures and adventures; on the contrary, we took the method of leaving Paris to avoid those strange things; but we Still have to imitate them wandering here and there, erratic, sometimes moving fast, sometimes walking slowly.Since he was brought up in my way, he can appreciate the meaning of it, and I don't think any reader will be so dull as to think that the two of us will be dozing in a comfortable stage coach with the doors and windows closed, what? Don't look at anything, don't look at anything, the journey from the start point to the end point is worthless, and the time we originally wanted to save was wasted in the process of progress. People say life is short, and I think they make it so short.As they are not good at using life, they complain in turn that time passes too quickly; but I think that time passes too slowly for their kind of life.Because they dream of a goal all the time, they are often so sad to see the distance between them and the goal. How this person wants to live tomorrow, that person wants to live next month, and another person wants to live. How to live ten years from now, no one among them is thinking about how to live today, and no one is satisfied with the current situation of this hour, so everyone feels that this hour really passes too slowly.They complain that time passes too quickly, which is sheer nonsense; they are willing to spend their money to make time go faster, they are willing to use their property to consume their lives; To relieve him of his vexations, to relieve him at will of that which made him eagerly wait for the moment which he desired to come as soon as possible, would perhaps all be willing to shorten the lifespan to a few hours.Running from Paris to Versailles, from Versailles to Paris, from city to country, from country to city, from one district to another, half his life was spent in this way, if he hadn't A set of time-wasting secrets, deliberately putting down his own things, and then busy looking for things to do, maybe he still takes his time to worry about it.He thinks that this is to gain time, otherwise he would not know what to do; on the contrary, he is running for the sake of running, and the purpose of taking the stagecoach is only to run back.Do you mean, O people, that you insist on continually slandering nature?Since life cannot be shortened as much as you wish, why do you complain that it is too short?If there is a temperate man among you who does not wish time to pass quickly, he does not feel that life is too short at all; life and pleasure are to him the same thing; even if he is very young. He died, and he lived his five years before he died. Even if my method has only this little advantage, I am willing to adopt my method because of this advantage alone, and I will not adopt other methods.The reason why I brought up Emile was not to make him hope or wait for some future, but to make him enjoy the present; when his hope exceeds the present, he is not so anxious and never complains. Time passed too slowly.He not only wants to enjoy the pleasure of wishing, but also the pleasure of seeking the object of his hope; and his desire is so restrained that he can't finish enjoying the present, and there is no hope for the future. Therefore, we are not chasing the distance like a postman, but watching along the way like a traveler.We have in mind not only a beginning and an end, but also the distance between the beginning and the end.For us, traveling is a joy in itself.We were not sitting in a tight cage like two prisoners were sad and sad along the way.Nor do we walk and rest as comfortably as women do.We have to brave the strong wind, enjoy the scenery around us, and watch whatever we like.Emile never went to a post-post to sit down and rest, and he never took a post-coach unless he was traveling.However, how could Emile have a reason to hurry?There is only one reason, and that is to enjoy life.In addition to this, I can also add such a reason, as long as possible, is it not to do something meaningful?Yes, because doing meaningful things is in itself an enjoyment of life. So far as I know, there is only one way to travel more pleasantly than on horseback, and that way is on foot.I walk when I want to, stop when I want to, and walk as much as I like.I can observe the customs of various places. If I like to go to the left, I go to the left, and if I like to go to the right, I go to the right; .When I meet a creek, I walk along its banks; when I meet a dense forest, I go to the shade to enjoy the shade; when I meet a cave, I go in and take a look; What minerals does it contain.Wherever I think is good, I will rest there.Enough rest, I will move on.I depend neither on the horse nor on the groom.I don't have to take the high road, and I don't have to choose the smooth path; I can go there if a person can walk it; I can see anything that a person can see, and I can go as I like. Enjoy complete freedom.If the weather is bad and I cannot go forward, or if I am tired from walking, I ride.If I'm too tired... But Emile never gets tired, he's very strong, so how could he be tired?He is in no hurry.Even if he stopped, how could he say he was bored?Everywhere he finds something interesting.He could go into the house of a craftsman and work for him, and he could take the opportunity of exercising his arms and resting his feet. To travel on foot, one must travel like Celes, Plato, and Pythagoras.It is hard for me to imagine that a philosopher would take another way of traveling and not study the dazzling array of things that lie under his feet and in front of his eyes.Anyone who has a little interest in agriculture, who doesn't want to study the special products and farming methods in the places he passes by?People who like natural science, how can they not study a piece of land when they see it?When you see a rock, how can you not knock it a few times?Who wouldn't want to collect plants when they saw the mountains?How can anyone not look for fossils when they see chaotic rocks?The naturalists who stay in the cities study the natural sciences in their laboratories, and they also collect some specimens, and know the names of the things, but they do not understand their nature.The things in Emile's laboratory are much richer than those of the king. His laboratory is the whole earth, and everything is arranged there just right. The natural scientist in charge of this laboratory puts Everything was so well organized that even Dobunton couldn't have done it better. What a joy it is to travel in such a beautiful way!What's more, it can also improve health and make people happy.I have often found that those who travel in a comfortable carriage, dreaming, melancholy, full of complaints, and suffering many sins;How glad our hearts were as we approached our lodging for the night!What a delicious meal for an easy dinner!What joy the heart feels while eating!How sweet it is to sleep on a plank bed!If your purpose is only to go to a certain place, you can of course take a stagecoach, but if it is for traveling, you have to walk. If Emile has not forgotten Sophie's words after traveling fifty miles in the way I have described, it means that perhaps I have not done it cleverly, or that he has no curiosity at all; because, because of him He already has a lot of basic knowledge, so he will not fail to use his heart to pursue more knowledge.A man's curiosity is in proportion to his education; Emile's education has reached just the point where he wishes to learn more. We look at one place and want to see another, and we keep going.I set the end of our first trip far away.It is easy to find an excuse for setting the end very far away, because we came from Paris to find a wife far away. One day, we drove a little longer than usual, and lost our way in the middle of mountains and valleys where we couldn't tell the way.It doesn't matter, you can take any road, as long as you can reach the end; but we are hungry, we must find a place to eat.By luck we found a farmer, who took us into his hut; and we ate with relish the light supper he had prepared for us.When he found us so tired and so hungry, he said to us: "If God had led you beyond the mountain, you might have been better entertained.... You would have found a faithful home.... Will find the benevolent...the very good!... Not that they have a better heart than mine, but they are richer than I am, and they were, it is said, richer then than they are now Wealthy... thank God they're not poor now, and the townspeople are getting the benefit of what little they have left." Emile's heart rejoiced when he heard that there were good people.He looked at me and said, "Let's go there, my friend; the people around here are blessed to have this family, and I'd like to visit the owners of this family, and maybe they like to see us too." .I am sure they will treat us well, and if they treat us like family, we will treat them like family." After the farmer clearly explained to us in which direction the family's house was, we set off. We turned left and right in the woods, and we encountered a heavy rain on the way, which could delay our arrival. time, but it cannot stop us from moving forward.We finally came out of the woods and reached the home at dusk.It is surrounded by a small village. Although its architecture is simple, it looks quite unique.We went into the house and asked the master to stay with us.The servant led us to tell the master, who asked us some questions, but in a very polite manner.We did not tell him the purpose of our journey, but the reason for our detour.Since he was once rich in the past, it is easy to see what kind of people we are from the visitor's demeanor; people who have seen the big market will not be mistaken about this. He left us at his house. The host kept us in a very small room, but very clean and comfortable, with a fire in it, and provided us with a change of clothes, and every other thing we might need. "Ah!" Emile said in amazement: "They are so attentive to us, and what the farmer said is really good! How considerate! What a piece of sincerity! Such meticulous care for strangers! I almost feel that we are living in Homer." Like the times." "You realize that," I said to Emile; "but you needn't be surprised; strangers are welcome wherever they seldom go. The host is so hospitable because the guests are few. The host is not so hospitable when the guests are often there. In Homer's time, people seldom traveled abroad, so travelers were welcome wherever they went. Perhaps we are the only passers-by they have seen this year." "It doesn't matter," he continued, "although they rarely see guests, it is admirable in itself that they treat them so well when they come. .” After we had dried and changed, we went to meet our host; he introduced us to his wife, who was not only very polite but caring.Her eyes were on Emile.As a mother, and in the circumstances she was in, it was impossible not to be thrilled, or at least surprised, to see such a young man enter her home. They quickly got dinner ready for us.On entering the dining room, we saw five cutlery; we were all seated, but there was one vacant seat left.A young girl came in, bowed deeply to us, and then sat upright without saying a word.Emile was busy eating while answering the master's questions, so after paying her back a gift, she continued to talk about him and eat his food.Since he thought that he was now far from the end of his journey, he had not thought of the main purpose of his journey at that time.The conversation turned to the situation where we got lost. "Sir," said our host to him, "I think you are a bright and lovely young man, and it reminds me of you, you and your master, dragging your weary bodies here in the rain, and it's just as well. Just as Marcus and Mentor arrived at Calypso's island." "Yes," replied Emile, "we were entertained here by Calypso." His Mentor Then I added a sentence: "I also saw the wonderful grace of O'Share." However, Emile had only read "The Odyssey", but not "The Adventures of Tailei Marcus", so he didn't know what O'Share was. people.As for the girl, I saw that her face was red up to her ears, and she was looking down at her plate, not even daring to breathe.Her mother, seeing her embarrassment, gave her father a wink, and he changed the subject.在谈到他目前这种隐居生活的时候，他不知不觉地便谈到了使他过这种生活的缘由，谈到了他的生活中的痛苦和他的妻子的忠贞，谈到了他们共同生活中的安慰，谈到了他们隐居生活中的安闲的情景，但自始至终一句话也没有谈到那个年轻的姑娘；所有这一切构成了一个美丽的动人的故事，使人听了不能不感到兴趣。爱弥儿听入了迷，竟连东西都不吃了。最后，当这位最诚实的男人高高兴兴地谈到最端庄的女人的爱情时，我们这位年轻的旅行家竟不由自主地伸出一只手抓着男主人的手，伸出另一只手抓着女主人的手，一边激动地吻着，一边还流着眼泪。这种年轻人的天真的热情，使大家都深为感动；可是那个女孩子比任何人都更加敏锐地感到他有一颗善良的心，因此她觉得眼前这个人就是为菲洛克提提斯的痛苦而感到悲哀的太累马库斯。她偷偷地观察他面部的表情，发现所有一切都说明把他同太累马库斯相比是比得很恰当的。他的态度潇洒而不傲慢，他的举止灵活而不粗笨，他神采奕奕，眼光柔和，相貌很讨人喜欢。这个年轻的姑娘看见他流眼泪的时候，几几乎自己也同他一起流出眼泪了。尽管是可以找一个很好的借口流几滴眼泪，但毕竟害羞的心制止了她。她责备她的眼泪流到了眼皮边，因为为自己家里的事情哭泣是不对的。 她的母亲从晚餐一开始就不断地注意着她，发现她这种局促不安的样子，便借口叫她去办一件事情，使她摆脱这种难为情的境地。过了一会儿，这个女孩子又回到饭厅来了，但她还是没有恢复平静，慌乱的样子大家都看出来了。她的母亲很温柔地对她说：“苏菲，坐下来，为什么要为你的父母的菲洛克提提斯，希腊神话中参加特洛伊战争的希腊勇士之一。不幸的遭遇而哭个不停呢？你是安慰你父母的人，所以不应当比你的父母对那些痛苦更感到伤心。” 一听见“苏菲”这个名字，你可以想象爱弥儿是多么吃惊。这个多么亲切的名字使他愣了一下，但他立刻清醒过来，以急切的目光去看那个竟敢取这个名字的人。苏菲，啊，苏菲！我一心寻找的人就是你吗？我心中所爱的人就是你吗？他观察她，他以一种又害羞又不相信的目光仔细地端详她。他所看见的脸儿并不恰恰就是他所想象的那个样子，他也说不出他所看到的这个女孩子要比他所想象的那个女孩子好一点还是差一点。他详详细细地看她的每一个特征，他窥察她的每一个动作和每一个姿势，他觉得对她的一切可以作千百种不同的解释；只要她愿意开口说一句话，叫他付出半个生命的代价他也是情愿的。他慌乱不安地看着我，他的眼睛既好象是在问我，又好象是在责备我。他的每一道目光都好象是在说：“在这紧要关头你要指导我，万一我的心入了迷和走了错路，我这一生就无法挽回了。” 在这个世界上，爱弥儿这个人可说是最不善于弄虚作假的了。他旁边有四个人在详详细细地看他，而且其中有一个人在表面上满不在乎而实际上对他是十分注意的。在他这一生中最感到狼狈的时刻，他怎么能掩饰自己的情感呢？苏菲的锐利的眼睛把他这种慌乱的样子看得一清二楚；他的目光正好向她说明她就是他注视的对象。她认为这种不安的样子还不能表示他是爱她，不过，这有什么关系呢？只要他在注意地瞧她就够了；如果他在看她的时候显得无所谓似的，那她才感到难过咧。 做妈妈的人和她的女儿的眼力是差不多的，不过妈妈的经验要比女儿的经验多些。苏菲的母亲因为我们的计划成功而露出了微微的笑容。她看出了两个年轻人的心，她认为现在是到了应该使这位新太累马库斯下定决心的时候，因此，她设法使她的女儿开口说话了。她的女儿现出了一副天然的温柔神情，以一种使人不能不感动的羞怯的声音回答她。一听到这种声音，爱弥儿便投降了；这个女孩子就是苏菲，他现在对这一点已没有什么怀疑了。即使说她不是苏菲，现在也来不及说不是了。 这时候，那位迷人的女子的魅力象洪流似地冲进了他的心，而他也开始大口大口地吞下她用来迷醉他的毒汁。他现在一句话也不说了，别人问他的话他也不回答了；他的两眼只看着苏菲，他的两耳也只听着苏菲；她一开口说话，他也跟着说起来；她一埋着头，他也埋着头；他看见她叹息，他也叹息。看来，苏菲的灵魂已经在指挥他了。他的灵魂在这短短的一会儿工夫起了多么大的变化啊！现在，不是苏菲而是爱弥儿在那里战栗了。自由、天真和坦率，全都没有了。他慌慌张张，局促不安，不敢正眼看他周围的人，以免瞧见别人在看他。他生怕大家看穿了他的心，他希望大家都看不见他，以便让他仔仔细细地端详她，同时又不让他被她所看见。苏菲则相反，害怕爱弥儿的心已经消失，她发现她已经取得了胜利，她享受着胜利的滋味。 尽管她心里暗中欢喜，但她并不形之于言表。 她的脸色一点也没有改变；但是，尽管她看起来是那样羞羞答答、两眼低垂的样子，但她温柔的心是乐得蹦蹦直跳，并告诉她说太累马库斯已经找到了。 我在这里所描写的他们天真无邪的爱情产生的经过，当然是太简单和太朴素了，但如果因此就把我所描写的这些情节看作是茶余酒后说来开心的笑话，那就完全错误了。大家对一个男人和一个女人初次见面时候的情形给予他们两个人一生的影响，是认识不足的。大家不知道，双方初次见面的印象，同爱情的印象以及驱使他谈爱的心情的印象，是同样很深刻的；它将产生深远的影响，而且这种影响将随着年龄的增长而一直延续到人死了以后，它的作用才能停止。有些人在论述教育的著作中，板着一付学究面孔啰啰嗦嗦、空话连篇地大谈那些莫名其妙的所谓孩子们的本分，可是对教育工作中最重要和最困难的那一部分--从童年到成人这一阶段中的紧要关头却只字不提。我之所以能够使我的这一部教育论文有几分用处，其原因特别是在于我在这部著作中不害怕人家的挑剔和文字表达上的困难，决心对其他著述家所略而未提的这一重要的部分作很详细的阐述。如果我把应当采取的作法都讲清楚了，那我也就把我应该讲的话都说出来了，即使说我把这本书写成了小说，那也没有关系。描写人类天性的小说，是一本很有意义的小说。如果说只是在这本著作中才看到过这种小说的话，那能怪我吗？它可以说是我们人类的历史。只有你们这些使人类趋于堕落的人才把我这本书看成小说。 另外还有一个使这第一次感受特别强烈的原因，那就是我们在这里所讲的这个年轻人，并不是从小就是那么胆怯、贪婪、妒忌和骄傲的，并不是具有可以供一般的老师在施行教育时用来控制其学生的种种欲念的；这个年轻人不仅在这里是第一次产生爱情，而且还是在这里才开始产生种种欲念中的第一个欲念的；这个欲念也许将是他这一生当中唯一感觉得最强烈的欲念，因此，他最终会形成怎样一种性格，也将取决于这种欲念。他的思想方法，他的感情和他的爱好都将因一种持久的欲念而形成一定的形式，不再改变。 你可以想象得到，爱弥儿和我经过了那样一顿晚餐之后，是不会一觉就睡到天亮的。how!单单是因为一个人的名字同我们所设想的名字相符合，竟使一个聪明的人如此吃惊吗？难道说世界上就只有一个苏菲吗？难道说她们的灵魂也象她们的名字一样是完全相同的吗？难道说凡是名叫苏菲的女孩子都是他的吗？对一个从来没有交谈过的陌生人竟这样大动感情，是不是发了疯呢？ “等一等，年轻人，你要仔细地观察观察和研究研究。你甚至连我们的主人是怎样一个人都还不知道哩；一听你所说的这些话，人家还以为你是在你自己的家里咧。” 现在不是给他上课进行教育的时候，给他上课他是听不进去的。如果你对他讲应该这样或那样的话，反而会使这个年轻人更加对苏菲发生兴趣，因为他现在是急于想证明他的倾向是正确的。由于名字的符合，由于他认为他见到她是一种幸运的巧遇，由于我采取了一种慎重的态度，因此愈加使他心情激动，苏菲在他看来实在是太可爱了，所以他深深相信我也不会不喜欢她。 第二天早晨，我猜想爱弥儿尽管还是穿他那一身旧的旅行装，但总会细心地穿得整齐一点的。果然不出我的预料；不过，我觉得好笑的是，他赶忙把主人给我们预备的衣服都穿在身上了。我看出了他的心意，我高兴地发现，他是打算借换衣服和还衣服的机会建立一种联系，以便在正大光明地去还主人的衣服时，再一次见到他们的面。 我希望看到苏菲也打扮得更加漂亮一点，可我的想法完全错了。那种庸俗的搔首弄姿的做法，是只适合于那些想取得人家喜欢的女人的。真正的爱情的娇艳是更加微妙的，打扮的方法是完全不同的。苏菲穿得比昨天还要简单，甚至可以说是非常的随便，当然，她一身的衣服还是极其清洁的。我在她这种随随便便的穿扮上也看出了她在卖弄风情，因为我发现这当中有一些忸忸怩怩的样子。苏菲知道浓装艳抹是求爱的一种方式，但是她不知道过分随便也是一种求爱的表示，那就是说，她不愿意以穿扮而要以她的人品求得对方的欢心。well!只要一个情人知道她在想他，那她穿哪种衣服，有什么要紧呢？苏菲了解到她已经掌握了他的心，因此她不仅要以她的媚态去刺激爱弥儿的眼睛，而且还要刺激他的心去猜想她是多么动人；她不仅希望他看她的姿色，而且还希望他在心里想象她有哪些美。难道说他还没有看个仔细，还猜想不出她有其他的美么？ 可以肯定的是，在昨天晚上我同爱弥儿谈话的时候，苏菲和她的母亲也是在那里议论的。她的母亲探出了她的心事，而且还给了她一些指导。第二天，我们见面的时候，大家都是有准备的。这两个年轻人见面将近十二个小时，他们之间一句话也没有交谈过，但他们已经互相了解了。他们打招呼的时候态度很拘谨；他显得有点难为情，有点害羞；他们两人一句话也不说；他们埋着头，好象是为了避免你看着我、我看着你；这种做法的本身就向我们说明了情况；他们互相躲避，但步调是一致的。他们已经感觉到，在没有把事情说出来以前，是需要保持秘密的。当我们离开那里的时候，我们要求主人允许我们亲自来送还我们带走的东西。爱弥儿的话是向着她的父母说的，但他的焦急的眼光却望着苏菲，硬要她表示答应。苏菲一句话也没有说，也没有什么表情，好象是什么也没有看见，什么也没有听见似的；但是她的脸上却泛出了红晕，这红红的脸儿比她父母回答的话还能说明问题。他们虽然没有留我们住下去，但请我们以后再去看他们，这是做得很恰当的；你可以留宿找不到住处的旅客，但让一个情人住在情妇的家里，那就不对了。 我们刚刚走出那可爱的房屋，爱弥儿就打算在附近找一个住处，离得最近的那间茅屋，他也觉得是太远了，情愿睡在屋子外面的那条濠沟里。“你真是一个小傻瓜，”我用一种同情的语气向他说：“怎么！你已经被情欲弄迷糊了！你连规矩和理智全都忘记啦！你这可怜的人啊！你以为你是在爱你的情人，其实是在损伤她的名声！如果人家知道从她家里走出来的那个年轻人睡在附近，人家将怎样说呢？亏你还说爱她咧！你这样做岂不是败坏她的名誉么？这就是她的父母殷勤地款待了你之后得到的报酬么？难道说你想糟踏那个关系到你的幸福的女子的名声吗？”“啊！”他激动地回答道：“别人将说些什么废话和胡乱的猜疑，那打什么紧？你不是教导过我别把他人的议论看在眼里吗？哪一个人能够比我自己更清楚我是多么地尊敬苏菲，我是多么地想向她表示敬意？我对她的爱不仅不会使她遭到羞辱，而且还会使她感到光荣，我是配得上爱她的。既然我的心和我的行为处处都使她受到应得的尊敬，我怎么会损害她的名声呢？”“亲爱的爱弥儿，”我一边拥抱他，一边说道：“你为自己着想，同时也要为她着想。男性的荣誉同女性的荣誉是不能相比的，它们的依据是完全不同的。这些依据都是确确实实、合乎情理的，因为它们都同样是来之于自然的；你把别人说长道短的话视同等闲，但你不能不为了你的情人而重视别人的议论。你的荣誉只是在于你的自身，而她的荣誉则有赖于别人的评价。你如果采取毫不顾忌的做法，就连你自己的荣誉也会受到损害的；如果是因为你，别人就不对她表示她应得的尊敬，那么，你自己应得的尊敬也是得不到的。” 我一面向他解释这些道理，一面就使他意识到，如果把别人的议论不当成一回事，那是很不对的。她有哪些性情，他不知道；她的心是不是早有所属，他的父母是不是早已给她订了婚，他对她一点也不了解，也许他和她之间根本就不具有结成美满婚姻的条件，所以谁能向他担保他将来一定要娶苏菲为妻呢？难道说他不知道丢人的事情将给一个女孩子造成不可磨灭的污点？难道说他不知道即使她同那个使她丢人的男子结了婚，这个污点也是洗不清的？一个人如果竟想使他所喜爱的人丢失名誉，这哪里是聪明的人？如果他想使一个不幸的女孩子因讨得了他一时的欢心而永远为这件事情所招来的痛苦哭泣，这哪里是一个诚实的人？ 这个年轻人一听我向他指出的这些后果便大吃一惊；由于他爱走极端，所以他现在觉得离开苏菲的家越远越好，他加快脚步，赶快走开；他向四周打量，看是不是有人在偷听我们；他愿意为了他所喜爱的人的荣誉而牺牲他自己的幸福一千次。他情愿终生不见她，也不愿意给她造成一次不愉快的事情。我从他的童年时候起就培养他有一颗懂得爱情的心，现在，我花费的这番苦心得到了第一次收成了。 因此，现在的问题是要找到一个距离远而又能够听到她的消息的住所。我们到处寻找，到处打听；我们打听到离这里八公里远的地方有一座城，我们宁愿到那里去住而不愿住在附近的村子里，因为住在附近会引起人家的猜疑。这个初尝爱情滋味的人终于走到了那个城里，他心里充满着爱，充满着希望和欢乐，特别是充满着种种真挚的感情。我就是这样逐渐逐渐地把他日益增长的欲念引向善良和诚实的，我要在他不知不觉中使他的一切倾向都朝着这个方向发展。 我的事业即将完成，我早就看出完成的时间即将到来了。所有一切巨大的困难都克服了，所有一切巨大的障碍都越过了，现在要注意的是不要因急于求成而前功尽弃。在变化无常的人生中，我们要特别避免那种为了将来而牺牲现在的过于谨慎的畏首畏尾的做法；这种做法往往是为了将来根本就得不到的东西而牺牲现在能够得到的东西。我们应当使一个人在什么年龄就过什么年龄的快乐生活，以免花了许多心血之后，还没有过快乐的生活就死了。如果说我们每一个人都有一个享受生命的时候的话，那就是在少年时期结束的时候，因为在这个时候一个人的身心的各个部分的发育最为健全，同时，在这个时候正是达到他一生的过程的中途，离开他觉得很短促的两端最远。如果说糊涂的年轻人的做法是很错误的话，那不错在他们贪玩，而是错在他们所寻求的不是他们目前即能享受的乐趣，错在他们由于希求暗淡的未来，而不知道利用他们当前就能享用的时间。 请你看一看我的爱弥儿：他现在已经年过二十，长得体态匀称，身心两健，肌肉结实，手脚灵巧；他富于感情，富于理智，心地是十分的仁慈和善良；他有很好的品德，有很好的审美能力，既爱美又乐于为善；他摆脱了种种酷烈的欲念的支配和偏见的束缚，他一切都服从于理智的法则，他一切都倾听友谊的声音；他具有许多有用的本领，而且还通晓几种艺术；他把金钱不看在眼里，他谋生的手段就是他的一双胳臂，不管他到什么地方去，都不愁没有面包。可是现在，他被一种日益增长的情欲弄得迷迷糊糊的，他的心燃起了第一道情火；他甜蜜的幻想给他打开了一个欢乐的新天地；他正在爱着一个可爱的人，而且从这个人的性格上看，比从她的样子上看还要可爱；他满怀希望，等待着他应得的报酬。由于他们心心相印，由于他们纯洁的感情互相投合，才产生了他们最初的爱情，这种爱情是能够持续长久的。凭着他的信心，尤其是凭着他的理智，他无所畏惧、无所悔恨地如醉如痴地爱着；他无所忧虑，他所考虑的只是他和她的不可分离的幸福。在他的幸福中还缺少什么东西呢？让我们看一看，找一找，想一想他还需要些什么，除了他已经有了的以外，我们还可以给他些什么？一个人可能获得的一切好东西他全都有了，你如果再给添加什么东西的话，就不能不使他在另外一方面损失一种东西；一个人能够多么快乐，他就有多么快乐。在这种时候，我会不会剥夺他这样美好的命运呢？我会不会干涉他这样纯洁的欢乐呢？what!他所尝到的这种幸福，就是我辛勤一生的报酬。要是我使他有所损失的话，我拿什么东西去补偿他呢？即使我给他的幸福加上一顶王冠，我也会使它所包含的最令人神迷的乐趣遭到牺牲。在希望得到这种最大的幸福的时候，其乐趣比实际得到它的时候还甜蜜一百倍；在等待的时候，其滋味比尝到的时候还好得多。啊，可爱的爱弥儿，你爱她和为她所爱吧！在占有这种幸福以前，要把它好好地享受一个时期；既要享受爱情，也要享受天真；在你等待另外一个天堂的同时，要建筑你在地上的天堂。我决不剥夺你生命中这一段快乐的时光，我将为你选取其中令人销魂的东西，我将尽可能把它加以延长。well!可惜它终归是要结束的，而且是在很短的时间内就要结束的；不过，我至低限度要使它保持在你的记忆里，使你不因享受过它而感到悔恨。 爱弥儿没有忘记我们要去送还主人的东西。当我们把这些东西准备好了以后，我们就骑着马赶快跑，因为这一次他巴不得一出发就立刻到达那里。当一个人的心有了情欲以后，它就对平常的生活感到乏味了。不过，只要我的时间没有白白地浪费，他就不会在百般无聊的状态中度过的。