Chapter 39 Emile (Volume Six) Section Four
Even if all our teachings are equally true, it does not follow that they are equally important.Whether or not the glory of God is to be seen in everything is of little importance; what is important to human society and to every member of society is that all men realize that God's law requires that he must Neighbors and himself perform various duties.This is what we should teach each other at all times, and especially what parents should teach their children.Was it a virgin who was the mother of the Creator, and was she begotten of God, or was she begotten of a man alone, and God entered into the man's body and became one with him; the nature of the Father and the Son is The same or the similar; whether the Holy Spirit is from the Father or from the Son, or from both; These questions are no more important than whether they knew which day to mark Easter, whether they should say prayers, observe Lent and Lent, whether they spoke Latin or French in church, whether they knew what to say on the walls. Whether to hang pictures of saints, whether to go to Mass or hear Mass, whether to marry a wife.No one else has the slightest influence on how one may view these matters as one pleases; as for me, they do not interest me at all.It is important for me and others like me that everyone should know that there is a master of human destiny, that we are all sons of this master, and that he requires us to be just, to love one another, and to be kind to others and mercy, to keep our covenants with all men, even with our enemies; our apparent happiness in this life is false, and after this life we have a life to come, in which the supreme There are rewards for the good and punishments for the wicked.These and similar teachings should be used to educate the youth and persuade the citizens.There is no doubt that whoever violates these teachings should be punished; such a person will disturb the whole order and become the enemy of society.Whoever despises these doctrines, and compels us to take his own opinion for ours, has the same result; in order to establish order in his own way, he disturbs the peace; God's name imposes obedience and respect on men, and thus puts himself in the place of God.Such a man, if we do not punish him as an intolerant, we should punish him as a blasphemer.
Put away, therefore, those mystical dogmas, which to us are mere empty phrases; a vain effort to study those absurd dogmas, will make the man who studies them ignore the cultivation of morality, As a result, instead of making them good people, it made them all crazy.Your children must always be taught only those few doctrines which concern moral cultivation, and must be convinced that only those doctrines which teach us good conduct are good for us and worth learning.Raise your daughters not to be theologians and sophists; tell them of heavenly things only that which may increase human wisdom; To make God a witness of their deeds, thoughts, virtues, and joys; that they should do good in their hearts because God loves good, that they should suffer without complaint because God will compensate them for their sufferings; in short, let Let them maintain throughout their lives the joyful frame of mind with which they will appear before God.This is the real religion, and with such a belief, there will be no ills of evil and arrogance.Let others preach whatever lofty beliefs they wish; as for me, my beliefs consist only of the points set forth above.
Moreover, it needs to be mentioned that so long as girls have not been able to use their reason, so long as their growing emotions have not enlightened their moral conscience, so long as they have not grown to such an age, for them, Whether it is good or bad depends on whether the people around them do this.Whatever they are commanded to do is good, and whatever is forbidden they are bad, about which they ought not to know too much.From this we can see that it is much more important to choose the people around them and those who discipline them than to choose the people around them and those who discipline them.The time has finally come for them to start judging things for themselves, so now is the time to change their educational plans.
Perhaps I have said too much in this regard so far.How can we degrade women if we do not make the prejudices of the common people the law to which they are bound?Women are our rulers, and if we do not corrupt them, they would add to our glory, so we should not degrade them so much.As far as all mankind is concerned, there is a law before human prejudices arise, and all other laws should follow the unalterable direction of this law, because it judges human prejudices, And human opinion can only be respected when it agrees with it.
This law is the inner conscience.I shall not repeat what I have said before; but now I will only point out that, unless women are educated in both respects, their education will always be defective.Just having a conscience but not respecting other people's comments, it is impossible to make them have a kind heart and win the world's praise with their good behavior; only respecting other people's comments but not listening to their own conscience will result in some hypocrisy and An unseemly woman, a woman who loves appearance more than virtue.
They should, therefore, cultivate that faculty which balances the two influences, and which equilibrates their conscience and corrects the errors of prejudice, this faculty is reason.But what questions arise at the very mention of reason!Do women have sound reasoning?Do they need to cultivate rationality?Can they cultivate rationality well?Would not the cultivation of reason help them to take up the tasks entrusted to them?Does the cultivation of rationality correspond to the innocence they should have?
Because of the different ways in which these problems are studied and solved, two opposite extremes have been formed, with some arguing that women can only supervise maidservants spinning and sewing, thus making them man's first servants; To make them usurp our rights, as they are not enough, to have the superiority over us in all that befits a woman, and to make them equal to us in other respects, would it not Is the advantage that nature bestows on the husband handed over to the woman?
Although a man realizes his vocation because of his reason, his reason is not very sound; a woman also realizes her vocation because of her reason, and her reason is relatively simple.Her obedience and fidelity to her husband, her love and concern for her children, spring so naturally and so obviously from her position, that, so long as she has no evil intentions, she cannot but obey her conscience, as long as she An incorrect understanding of her calling is impossible if her nature is not corrupted.
In no way do I reproach a woman indiscriminately for merely doing her woman's work, nor for being ignorant of anything but her woman's work; Simple and healthy customs, or a way of life with little contact with other people.In a large city, a woman is easily seduced by the presence of many corrupt men; and whether she maintains her virtue often depends upon her circumstances.In this philosophical century she must have a proven virtue, she must know in advance what people are likely to say to her, and what she should think of what they say.
Moreover, since her conduct is to be judged by him, she must command his respect, and, above all, her husband's; behavior; she should prove in public that she is worthy of his choice, and she should honor her husband by the honor that is bestowed upon women.If she doesn't know anything about our society, if she doesn't understand our customs and etiquette, if she doesn't understand the basis on which people judge, if they don't understand the emotions that drive them to make this or that judgment, how can she do it? What about the points mentioned above?Since she is to act according to her own conscience as well as public opinion, she should know how to compare and reconcile the two, and that she should act according to her own conscience only when they conflict with each other. .For the judgment of others, she should have a trade-off, she must know when to accept and when to object.Before rejecting or accepting the prejudices of others, she should weigh them, discover their origin, foresee their consequences, and make them favorable to herself; Therefore, she should be careful not to give anyone an excuse to blame.She cannot do well in the above points without cultivating her heart and reason.
I often think of my first principle, which can help me solve all difficulties.I research the present conditions, I seek their causes, and I find at last that the present conditions are good.I have visited houses where the host and hostess are equally hospitable.They both had the same education, were the same courteous manners, were both jovial and cheerful, both had the same desire to treat their guests well, and to make every one return home happy with them.The host is very attentive to everything: he entertains his guests coming and going without trouble; he pays close attention to every detail.The hostess sat in her place, and although some people formed a circle around her, as if to keep her from seeing the rest, there was not a single thing in the house that she was ignorant of; There was not one whom she did not talk to; she never neglected anything that could please her guests; she never said a word of displeasure to anyone; On the one hand, it has also been done so that the smallest among the guests should be treated as much as the biggest.The host invites the guests to eat, and everyone sits at the table.Because the host knows who is best to sit with whom, he arranges the seats for the guests according to what he knows; the hostess does not know this, but she can't make mistakes; she has seen from the faces and actions of everyone. How should it be arranged, so everyone feels that his seat is very suitable for him.When delivering food, no one is missed.The male host will deliver food to everyone in turn, of course there will be no missing; while the hostess can see what the guests like to eat, so she will deliver that dish to the guests; when she talks to the people around her, her At the same time, her eyes were fixed on the guests sitting at the other end of the table; she could tell which one was not eating because she was not hungry, and which one was too clumsy or shy to take it herself. Dishes or ask the host for something.When leaving the table, everyone felt that she was taking special care of him, and everyone felt that she was so busy that she didn't even eat a bite of food, but in fact, she ate more than anyone else.
After the guests had gone, the two hosts talked about what had happened that day.The host spoke of what his guests had said to him, of what had been said and done by his chatterers.Although the hostess is not very careful in this regard, she can guess what the guests are whispering at the other end of the hall, can see what a certain person is thinking, can see a certain sentence or What is the meaning of a certain gesture; as soon as a guest shows a certain expression, she can immediately understand his mind, and almost always understands the actual situation.
With such spiritual wisdom, a society woman can be good at housekeeping and hospitality; with such spiritual wisdom, a charming woman can make everyone who proposes to her happy.Coquettishness requires more propriety than politeness, for a polite woman who is so courteous to everyone can never go wrong; but a coquettish woman to anyone With all the coquettishness, she would soon lose her manly charm; if she tried to please all her lovers, she would end up disgusting them all.The way she communicates with men in social situations does not allow her to please every man; as long as she treats everyone well, others will not care so carefully whether she is partial to whom; but in In terms of love, the love for people is exclusive. If you show more affection to another person once, it will hurt your feelings.A sensitive man would rather be treated badly by a woman alone than be loved by her with other people.The bad thing, from his point of view, was that he was no different from anyone else, in the eyes of the beholder.Therefore, if a woman wants to keep several lovers at once, she must convince each of them that she is especially good to him, and must convince him of this in front of everyone, while everyone is in front of him. In the same way, she believed that she was the one she loved.
If you want to see what a man in a dilemma looks like, you put him between two women with whom he has a secret relationship, and then you can see what a fool he will be .In the same way, it is much better to place a woman between two men, and you will be amazed at how skilfully she deceives them both, and makes each laugh at the other triumphantly.How could the woman be able to deceive them for a moment if she believed them all equally, and made the same gestures of affection?If they were treated the same way, wouldn't that show that they had the same rights over her?what!She doesn't do that!Instead of treating them in the same way, she would pretend that there was a difference between them; On the other hand, it makes the person whom she has neglected think that she is making fun of him with the kind words she said.So, both parties were complacent, always thinking that she loved him, but in fact, she didn't love anyone, but she loved herself.
Since it is intended to make everyone happy, similar means should be used for coquettishness; frivolity and capriciousness will arouse everyone's resentment if it is not done properly; Bind her slave.
She used all sorts of ingenious tricks
To seduce new lovers one by one;
She's not that face to everyone;
She has to change her face according to people and times.
What is the secret of this ingenious device?How could she read his inner thoughts moment by moment, how could she exercise a power to check or stimulate the hidden motives she discovered, if she were not a constant and careful observer of him?Is this ingenious technique accessible to everyone?No, it is unique to women, all of them know it, and even if men try to learn it, they will not be able to reach their level.This is one of the distinguishing features of women.Witty, penetrating and meticulous observation is a science of women, and whether they have talent is reflected in whether they are good at using this knowledge.
That's the way it is, and we've explained why it is the way it is.Some people say women are hypocritical.It was only later that they became so hypocritical.What God gave them was skill, not hypocrisy.As far as women's true tendencies are concerned, even when they lie, they don't mean to be hypocritical.Since it is not their mouths that express their inner thoughts, why should you take their words so seriously?You have to look into their eyes, look at their faces, look at their breathing, and their shy, half-pushed manner, which is the language that nature tells them to express to you.They always say "no" verbally, and can only say "no", but when they say "no", the tone of voice is not always the same, and there is no slight falsehood in this tone.Women's needs are the same as men's, but where do they have the right to say that they have the same needs?Even if their wishes are legitimate, if they have no other means of expressing what they dare not say, their fate will be very dire.Could it be that to be well behaved one must look pitiful?Shouldn't they have an ingenious way of expressing their wishes without revealing them openly?What cunning they need to be able to make a man see the passion they are eager to pour out!How hard they have to learn to be able to win the hearts of men while at the same time appearing to be indifferent to them!The apple of Galatia, and how she fled so clumsily, had spoken for her!What else does she have to add?The shepherd was chasing her in the willows, would she tell him that she was running away on purpose, so as to lure him after her?We can say she was duplicity because she didn't tell him she was seducing him.The more subtle a woman's ways, the better her tactics, even with her husband.Yes, I think that coquettishness, if it does not go too far, is a sign of decency and truth, and is in accordance with the law of proper behaviour.
One of my opponents said very well that morality is a whole; we cannot divide it in two, admit the one and reject the other.If you love it, you must love it completely; those feelings which you should not have, you must, if possible, keep them out of your mind, and never mention them at all times.Moral truths are not things that exist, but good things; bad things should not exist, and should not be recognized by us, especially if we recognize them, they will have undeserved effects We should not acknowledge them even more.If I am tempted by something to steal, and if, by uttering this intention, I seduce another man to be my accomplice, then, when I seduce him, does it not mean that I have first Yield to the temptation of things?Why do you say that the shy look of a woman is a sign of hypocrisy?Could it be said that a woman who has lost her sense of shame is more sincere than a shy woman?No, such a woman is a thousand times more hypocritical than other women.The reason why they are so depraved is that they have been infected with various vices, and they have not changed them, and they have done some sneaky things to make the vices more and more harmful.On the contrary, those women who know shame, who are not proud of their faults, who hide their desires even from those who love her, and whose favor a man has to go through with great difficulty, The person who is the most sincere and faithful to his covenant is the person we generally trust the most.
The exception, so far as I know, is that of Mademoiselle de Lanclo, who is regarded by all as a remarkable figure.It is said that she despises women's morality, and everything must be done in accordance with our male morality.She was praised for her frankness, a sure companion, and a faithful friend; and finally, in order to make her a very honorable person, she was said to have turned into a man.wonderful.But, notwithstanding her popularity, I would no more have such a man as my friend than I would have her as my lover.
What has been said above may appear to be irrelevant to us on the surface, but in fact it has a lot to do with us.I saw what the results of present-day philosophy will be when it makes ridicule of female shame and so-called hypocrisy; Even a bit of honor is completely lost.
Based on the above explanations, I think we can generally determine what kind of education women are suitable for, and what issues they should think about from their youth.
I have already said that the duties which a woman undertakes appear to be easy, but in reality the fulfillment of them is very difficult.It is the only way of making it easy for them to perform them, that they should first realize that those duties are good for them, so that they can take pleasure in assuming them.Every woman of every rank and every age has her duties.As long as she is willing to take on, she can quickly realize what her obligations are.You have to respect the status of your woman, and no matter what status God has made you into, you must always be a good woman.The important thing is to live according to nature's arrangement; women can very easily be what men like.
The abstract and purely theoretical search for truth, for principles and scientific theorems, requires the seeker to be able to synthesize his concepts, which women cannot do; they should study practical things, and they should treat men When the principles discovered are put into practice, they should observe carefully, so that the men can demonstrate the principles.In all matters not directly related to the vocation of women, they should look at the problem with the psychology of men in mind, and should look at things that are interesting for the sole purpose of people's inclinations; for in things that require the use of thought They are incapable of comprehension, and they have not enough finer minds and concentrated attention to study the rigorous sciences; as for tangible things, it is better to be more active than them, more informed than them, and more knowledgeable than them. Males who are stronger and use their strength more often than they do judge the relation of perceived things to the laws of nature.Women's physical weakness, and little knowledge of the external world, can only estimate and judge the motive force at their disposal to supplement their lack of physical strength, and this motive force is the desire of men.Their ways are superior to ours, and their every move moves the hearts of men.All the things she is unable to do herself, but which she must do or like to do, she needs to ingeniously make us want to do those things; therefore, she should have a thorough understanding of the psychology of men. To understand; not abstractly understand the psychology of men in general, but the psychology of the men around her, the psychology of men whom she or by law or public opinion must be bound by.She should learn how to read their emotions clearly by their words, actions, looks, and gestures.She should, by her own words, deeds, looks, and gestures, arouse in them the affections which she pleases, without showing that she intends to arouse them.They have studied the human heart more thoroughly than they, but they can see the inner workings of the human heart better than they.Women can be said to bear the responsibility of discovering "experimental morality", while men should systematically summarize the experimental morality they have discovered.A woman's mind is finer than a man's, and a man's genius is greater than that of a woman; the observation by the woman, and the reasoning by the man, together, give a deeper understanding and a complete understanding than the man's mind alone can obtain. knowledge.In a word, knowledge that we can acquire is really useful to ourselves and to others.This is why art is constantly perfecting the tools that nature has given us.
The people around women are the books they should read; and if they do not read well, it is because they are defective, or some lust has blinded their eyes.However, to truly fulfill their responsibilities as mothers, not only should they not go out to socialize in public, but they should also live a reclusive life like monks in a nunnery.We should therefore treat unmarried girls as we do those who are sent to convents.Let them see the spectacle of those entertainments, before they quit their minds and turn away from those they should not enjoy, lest their semblance should someday disturb their souls and disturb their quiet lives.In France, girls lived in monasteries, and married women often went out to social occasions.In ancient times, the opposite was true.Girls, as I have already said, spend much time in public games, while women often remain at home.This habit is more reasonable and more conducive to maintaining good customs.Unmarried girls can act a little arrogantly, and playing is their main thing.Married women, with their household affairs, need not go out and look for a husband; but they do not see the advantage to them, and, unfortunately, they love to be fashionable.Mothers, make your daughters your companions no matter what.Equip them with a clear mind and an honest heart, and then show them all that the pure eye can see.Dances, meetings, sports, even the theatre, should be shown to them; all that fascinates the frivolous youth to the wrong eye, is not dangerous to the healthy eye.The more you let them get a good look at those noisy things, the sooner they will be disgusted with them.
Of course I know some people will rise up against me.What girl sees such pernicious examples and is not affected by it?They were so distracted by the mere sight of society that none of them wanted to leave it.That's probably how it happened.But, before you let them see this bewitching scene, have you not done enough preparation so that they will not be moved by it?Did you do a good job of explaining to them what it showed?Have you faithfully described to them what those things look like?Have you not adequately armed them against the phantasms of vanity?Have you endeared to their childish hearts that true pleasure which they cannot find in the tumult of occasions?What precautions and measures have you taken to prevent them from developing an illicit taste which will lead them astray?Instead of taking any steps to free their minds from the prejudices of the common man, you have spread them in them; and you have long ago instilled in them a liking for all the frivolous things they see. up.You let them do those things, of course they like it.There are girls who go into society and have no one but their mothers, who are often much more crazy than they are, and can only teach their daughters to see things as they do. .Mother's example can influence children more than reason, so they think it is right to follow their mother. Mothers have prestige in their daughters' minds, and their words are indisputable.So if I say that a mother should take her daughter into society to see it, it is based on the assumption that she wants her daughter to see A real situation in a social situation.
In fact, the girls have already started to go bad.Convents are a real school for girls to be coquettish, but not the kind I'm talking about, but the kind that makes women obscene, the kind that makes girls rascals.When they came out of the nunnery and suddenly entered the smoky social scene, they felt that this place was very suitable for them.They have been educated to hang out in social situations, so why should they be interested in that?I am afraid that what I shall state hereafter is based on prejudice rather than research; I feel that, generally speaking, more lovely families and names are to be found in Protestant countries than in Catholic countries. If this is the case, we may conclude without doubt that this difference is partly due to nunnery education.
To be able to love the quiet home life one must know something about it, one must have tasted its sweetness from childhood.It is only in the mother's home that they learn how to love their own home; and if mothers have not educated them in this respect, they will not like to bring up their children in the future.It's a pity that in the big cities, no one homeschools girls anymore.The social occasions in the big cities are so numerous and chaotic that there is no longer a quiet place to live a quiet life, even in one's own home as in public.Since she hangs out so often with other people, she has no home, and even her parents hardly know each other, she sees them as outsiders. Disappeared.Therefore, girls suck the so-called enjoyment of this era and the code of conduct pursued by people from breast milk when they are breastfeeding.
There are some who insist upon girls appearing prim and proper, that they may be married to fools who judge by appearances.But if you study such girls, you can see that beneath the coyness, they already reveal the burning desire that is devouring them. You can see them by the expression of their eyes. Desire to imitate their mother.Their intention is not to get a husband, but to get a marriage certificate.Why would they need such a husband when there are so many ways for them to live that life without a husband?Still, they need a husband to serve as a cover for them while they take those steps.They appear to be serious on the surface, but they are very lewd in their bones, and the prudence itself is a sign of sensuality; the reason why they pretend to be like this is precisely to enable them to abandon this serious appearance earlier.Ladies of Paris and London, I beg your pardon.Miracles can happen anywhere, but, for my part, I have not seen one; and if I could find a pure heart among you, I confess that I am nothing to our society. known.The result of all present methods of education is the same to interest the young girl in the pleasures of the luxurious world, and, with that interest, there will soon be a desire to enjoy it.In a big city, a girl begins to corrupt as soon as she begins to live; in a small town, she begins to corrupt when she is able to use her reason.Girls from the provinces, imitating others, and despising their lovely simple customs, are eager to come to Paris to share the corruption of ours; they visit Paris only to learn those vices that are called talents. , and when they found themselves inferior to the ladies of Paris in debauchery, they were ashamed, and they wished that they had quickly become a native of the capital.In your opinion, when did the worst start?Is it when they have that kind of intention, or when they have achieved their goal?
我不希望一个贤明的母亲把她的女儿从外省带到巴黎来看这些对外省人极其有害的情景；我认为，即使要来，那就在她的女儿已经受到不良的教育之后才来，或者在这些情景对她的女儿已经没有什么危害性的时候才来。一个女孩子如果有很好的鉴赏能力和清醒的头脑，并且喜欢做正当的事情，则她纵然看到巴黎的有害的情景，那也不会象其他的人那样受它们的迷惑。在巴黎，你可以看到一些轻浮的女孩子急急忙忙地要在六个月内学会那一套时髦的作风，好让人家骂她们一辈子；不过，是不是也有一些女孩子因为不喜欢那些闹闹嚷嚷的场合，把她们在外省的生活和其他的人所艳羡的巴黎生活做一番比较之后，又回到她们在外省的家，这样的女孩子是不是有人看见过呢？我就看见过许多的青年妇女，被她们好心的丈夫和老师带到首都之后，又自动地回到外省去，而且她们要回去的心情远比要来巴黎的心情还切；她们在离开巴黎的前夕，很温存地对她们的丈夫说：“唉！还是让我们回到我们的茅屋去住吧，住在茅屋里比住在这里的皇宫还舒服得多！”我不知道还有多少好人没有跪拜过偶像，而且还蔑视人们对它的无意义的崇拜。只有愚蠢的人才是到处闹闹嚷嚷的，聪明的妇女是决不会做什么耸人听闻的事的。
尽管一般人都日趋堕落，尽管大家都普遍地抱有偏见，尽管对女子实施的教育不好，但总有一些妇女还仍旧保持着一种不为外力所左右的判断能力的，既然是这样，那么，当这种判断的能力受到了适当的教育的培养，或者说得更确切一点，当这种判断的能力没有受到不良教育的败坏的时候，如果我们要着眼于保持或培养自然的情感的话，我们该怎样做呢？为了要做到这一点，是用不着那样罗罗嗦嗦地说一长串话来使年轻的女子听了感到厌烦的，也用不着那样一五一十地向她们讲一篇干巴巴的道德经的。向男孩子和女孩子讲解道德，那等于是在消灭他们所受的一切良好教育的效果。象那样冷冰冰地教训一阵，其结果必然会使他们对说教的人和他们所讲的话产生反感。同年轻的女孩子们讲话的时候，千万不能拿她们所负的天职去吓唬她们，也不能把大自然加在她们身上的束缚说得那样严重。你向她们阐述她们的天职时，话要说得简明，说得中肯，不要使她们以为履行那些天职是一件不愉快的事情，你切不可有一点儿不高兴或盛气凌人的样子。所有一切要她们动脑筋思考的问题，我们也应该动脑筋思考一番之后才说；如果用问答的方式对她们讲解道德，则其内容也要象教义问答那样的简单和明了，但是说话的语气不要那样严肃。必须向她们指出，这些义务就是她们的欢乐的源泉和权利的根据。你要爱别人，才能得到别人的爱；你要幸福快乐地生活，就必须使自己成为一个为人家所喜欢的人；你要人家听从你的话，就必须使自己值得人家的尊敬；你要爱惜自己的体面，才能得到人家的称誉。要做到这几点，是不是很困难呢？妇女的权利是多么光荣！是多么值得尊重！当一个妇女善于行使她的权利的时候，男人的心将对那些权利表示多么的关切啊！一个女子是不一定非要等到有了相当的年龄或已经衰老的时候才能享受那些权利的。只要她有美德，她就可以开始行使她的权利；一到她长得婷婷玉立的时候，她凭她的温柔的性格就能够树立威信，使男子看到她那种淑静的样子感到敬畏。如果一个十六岁的女孩子长得又聪明又可爱，平时寡言鲜笑，善于理解别人，同时，态度又是那样的温柔，语言又是那样的诚恳，美丽的容貌又显示了她的女性的青春，羞怯的样子又使人感到喜悦，她尊重别人，从而也赢得了人家的尊重；见到这样一个少女，哪一个粗野无礼的人还敢不收藏他那傲慢的气焰，还敢不检点他的行为呢？
所有这些，虽说是一个女孩子形之于外的表现，但我们决不能把它们看作是无关紧要的表现；它们之所以有魅力，不仅要以感官的美做它们的基础，而且还要我们从心眼里认为妇女是我们男子的良好行为的天然评判者。谁愿意受到女人的轻视呢？在世界上是没有哪一个人愿意受女人的轻视的，即使是不喜欢妇女的人，也是不愿意受到她们的轻视的。你们以为我这个向她们阐述如此严酷的事实的人就不重视她们的评判吗？不，在我看来，她们的话比你们的话更值得重视，读者啊，你们往往比她们还显得一副娘儿气哩。我虽然是看不起她们的脾气，但我仍然要称颂她们的公正；只要我能够使她们不得不尊重我，即使她们恨我，那也没有什么关系。
如果我们善于运用她们的积极性，我们将完成多么多的伟大的事业啊！可惜在现今这个时代，妇女们有力的影响已经丧失，她们的话男人已不再听从，这是多么可悲的时代！这真是堕落到了极点。所有一切风俗敦厚的民族对妇女都是很尊重的。你看一看斯巴达，看一看日耳曼，看一看罗马，如果在这个世界上曾经有过光荣和美德汇粹之处的话，那就是罗马。在罗马，妇女们所歌颂的是伟大的将军的战功，妇女们所哭泣的是丧失了国家的元老；她们的夸赞和诉愿是神圣的，是对共和国事业的最庄严的裁判。所有一切巨大的变革都是由妇女发端的：是一个妇女使罗马获得自由的，是一个妇女使平民成为执政的，是一个妇女结束了十人团的暴政的，是妇女们把被围困的罗马从流放的反叛者手中解救出来的。风流的法国人啊，当你们以嘲笑的眼光瞧着一群妇女走过去的时候，你们抱怎样的看法呢？你们也许还会跟在她们后面奚落她们哩。同样的事物，由于你们跟我的眼光不同，所以我们的感觉也完全两样！也许我们各人有各人的理由。如果以漂亮的法国太太们排成这样一个队伍的话，我认为简直就不成体统；但是，如果以罗马的妇女排成这样一个队伍的话，你们就需要拿伏尔斯人的眼光去看她们了，就需要象科里奥兰努斯那样在心里想一想怎样办了。
我还要补充一下，我认为美德之能够巩固爱情，犹如它之能够巩固自然的权利，如果一个情人具有美好的道德，她就可以象做妻子和做母亲的人那样行使同样的权能。凡是真实的爱，都是充满着热情的，其所以那样地充满热情，是因为在想象中始终存在着一个真正的或虚幻的完美的对象。如果在情人的眼中看来那个完美的对象是没有什么价值的，是一个只供官能享乐的工具，在他的心目中哪里还能燃起一股激烈的热情呢？如果是抱有这种看法的话，他的心是热不起来的，是不会去追求那使情人心醉神迷、情意缠绵的高尚的乐趣的。我承认爱情是空幻的，只有情感才是真实的，是情感在促使我们去追求使我们产生爱情的真正的美。有人说，这种美在我们所爱的对象的身上是不存在的，它是因我们的错觉而产生的。what!这有什么关系呢？我们是不是因此就可以不那么热烈地把我们所有的世俗的情感奉献给这个想象的模特儿呢？是不是因此就可以不拿淳厚的心对待我们所钟爱的人呢？是不是因此就可以不抛弃我们卑劣的欲念呢？一个男人不愿意为他的情人牺牲生命，这哪里是一个真心的情郎？而一个愿意为爱情而死的人，他心里还有什么粗俗的肉欲？我们嘲笑旧时的骑士，其实只有他们才是真正地懂得爱情的人咧，至于我们，我们只知道贪图色情罢了。传奇式的爱情观之所以在我们看来觉得可笑，并不是因为我们有了理性，而是因为我们有了不良的风俗。
不论在哪一个时代，自然的关系都未曾改变过，由自然的关系中产生的或好或坏的影响也始终是一样的，尽管人们用“理性”这个词来掩饰他们的偏见，那也只是在表面上改了个名称罢了。对自己进行克制，始终是一个很高尚的行为，即使是因为听从荒唐的说法而克制自己，那也是很高尚的；只要有真正的爱好荣誉的心，有见识的妇女就会按她的地位去寻求她一生的幸福。对一个心灵高尚的美丽的女人来说，保持贞操是一个极为可贵的道德。她看见整个的世界都在她的脚下，她战胜了一切，也战胜了她自己。她自己的心就是一个宝座，所有的人都来向它表示敬拜；为两性所尊重的温柔和专一的情感，以及世人的敬重和她的自尊心，不断地使她感到她在某些时候进行的斗争是光荣的。她所遭遇的艰苦是转瞬即逝的，然而她在艰难困苦中获得的荣誉是永不磨灭的。一个高尚的妇女，当她以自己优良的品德和俊秀的容貌而引为骄傲的时候，她心里是多么愉快啊！一个钟情的女人是比莱斯和克利奥帕特拉更能领略肉体快乐的美的；即使将来她的容颜消失了，她的光荣和快乐的心情仍然是存在的；只有她才能够在回忆往事的时候感到快乐。
所负的天职愈艰巨，则我们之所以要担负这些天职的理由便愈加鲜明。道貌岸然地用一本正经的话来谈这些极其重大的事情，年轻的女子是听不进去的，是不能够把她们说得口服心服的。由于这种语言同她们的思想状况太不相称，她们背地里就会把那些话当成耳边风，一点也不重视，所以，结果是反而容易使她们听任她们的倾向的发展，而不能够从事情的本身中找出她们必须抵抗她们的倾向发展的理由。毫无疑问，如果我们采用良好的教育方法去培养一个女孩子，则她就可以获得抵抗各种引诱的武装，如果我们只拿一些一本正经的话去灌注在她的心里，或者说得更确切一点，灌注在她的耳朵里，则她一碰到一个狡猾的引诱者，她就肯定会变成他的牺牲品的。人们说，一个年轻而漂亮的女孩子绝不应当轻贱她自己的身子，她应当认真地悔恨她的美色使男人犯了巨大的罪恶，她必须诚心诚意地向上帝忏悔她成了男人贪婪的对象，她必须相信她自己心中的那一片柔情蜜意是魔鬼虚构的。我们应当针对她们本身举出一些切实的理由，因为以上所说的理由是不能够打动她们的心的。更坏的做法，而且也是人们常常采用的做法是：使她在思想上产生矛盾，先是说她的身体和美丽的容貌已经沾染了罪恶的污点，从而使她感到羞辱，然后又要她把这样可轻可贱的身子当做耶稣的圣殿似的加以尊重。过高和过低的观念都同样是不足以说服人的，是不能够自圆其说的；因此，必须举出一些能够为女性，并且能够为她那样年纪的女孩子所能懂得的理由。只有在你说明了她之所以要尽那些天职的理由之后，你才能够使她重视她的天职：
“只因不准许，她才未犯错误，而最终她是非犯错误不可的。”
毫无疑问，只有奥维德才能作出这样一句一针见血的论断。
如果你想使年轻的女子喜欢良好的品行，那你就不要再三再四地向她们说，你们要规规矩矩，而应该使她们意识到规规矩矩的行为将给她们带来巨大的利益，应该使她们认识到规规矩矩的行为的全部价值，而且使她们喜欢这种行为。仅仅给她们指出在遥远的将来要获得这种利益，那是不够的，必须马上从她们那样年岁的人所有的种种关系中，从她们的情人的性情中使她们看到这种利益。必须向她们描述有品德的男子是什么样子，教她们怎样识别这样的人，怎样爱他，怎样为了自己的利益而爱他；要向她们证明，只有这样的男人才能把她们看作朋友、妻子和情人，使她们得到幸福。要通过理性去培养她们的美德；要使她们认识到，女性能否树立威信和获得优越的地位，不仅取决于她良好的行为和性情，而且还取决于男人的良好行为和性情；此外，还要使她们认识到，她们对卑鄙恶劣的人是没有办法的，不尊重道德的人是不会尊重他的情人的。可以肯定的是，当你向她们讲述我们这个世代的风俗的时候，你将使她们对这种风俗产生一种内心的厌恶；如果你把时髦的人物指给她们看，她们便会对那些人表示轻视的；她们将鄙弃他们的种种说法，厌恶他们所表现的种种情感，看不起他们的虚伪的殷勤；她们将产生一种高贵的雄心--要赢得伟大的和坚强的男人的尊重，要成为斯巴达式的妇女，要指挥男子。一个脸皮很厚和诡计多端的女人，只知道用撒娇撒赖的办法去勾引情人，只知道用笼络的办法去保有情人，因此，只能够在一些普通的小事情上把她的情人当奴隶使用，至于在重大的事情上，她就不能驾驭他了。至于一个长得又聪慧又可爱的诚实的妇女，能够使她周围的男人不得不尊重她的女性，平时寡言鲜笑十分端庄的妇女，一句话能够取得男人的尊敬和爱的妇女，只要她做一个手势，就可以把他们差遣到天涯海角，就可以叫他们到她所指定的地方去作战，去争取荣誉，去牺牲生命。在我看来，这种威信是崇高的，是值得花一番心血去获得的。
我们便是按照这种精神培养苏菲的，我们培养她的时候，做法是十分的仔细，但又没有花太多的力气，我们是顺着而不是逆着她的爱好去做的。现在，让我们按照我向爱弥儿所讲的形象，按照爱弥儿自己所想象的能够给他带来幸福的妻子的形象，简单地描述一下苏菲的人品。
我将不厌其烦地一再说明，我不是在培养什么神童。爱弥儿不是神童，苏菲也不是神童。爱弥儿现在已经长成为成年的男子，而苏菲也长成为成年的女人；他们可以骄傲的，就是这一点。在我们目前这种男性和女性混杂不清的情况下，能够象样地做一个男子或一个妇女，那差不多就是一个奇迹了。
苏菲出生在一个良好的人家，她的天性很善良，她的心很敏感，这颗极其敏感的心有时候会使她产生很难平静的想象。她对事物的观察是非常正确的，但不怎么深刻；她的心情很悠闲，然而是不平衡的；她的样子长得很普通，但是是讨人喜欢的，从她的相貌就可以看出她为人是十分的忠厚；你刚接近她的时候也许觉得她没有什么特殊的地方，但在离开她的时候你心里就不能不有所感触。别人有一些良好的品质是她没有的，而她自己的好品质，也许在程度上还不如别人；但是，要一个人把一些良好的品质配合起来形成一付很好的性格，那就谁也不如她了。甚至连她的缺点，她也知道怎样去利用；如果她长得十全十美的话，也许她反而不如现在这样令人喜欢了。
苏菲并不美丽，但男子们一到她身边就会忘掉比她更美的女人，而美丽的女人一到她身边就会觉得自己并不怎么美。乍眼一看，她虽不漂亮，但你愈看就愈觉得她长得好；有些东西，她那样长法就好看，而别人那样长法就不好看，至于她长得好看的地方，那就确实好看，谁也赶不上她了。也许别人的眼睛比她的漂亮，嘴巴比她的乖巧，样儿比她的吸引人，但是，别人的身材不如她的匀称，肤色不如她那样好看，手没有她那样白嫩，脚没有她那样小巧，目光没有她那样柔和，相貌没有她那样动人。她使你看到她的时候感到喜欢，但是不会使你心里入迷；她使你一看到她便感到动心，但是又说不出你动心的道理。
苏菲很爱打扮，而且也懂得怎样打扮；她的母亲除她以外，就再没有用收拾房间的仆人；她有很高的审美力，所以总穿扮得很好看；不过，她是很讨厌华丽的衣服的，她的衣服又简朴又淡雅；她所喜欢的不是那种花花绿绿的衣服，而是合身的衣服。她不懂得什么颜色的衣服合乎时髦，但是她很清楚什么颜色的衣服才合乎她的身子。没有哪一个年轻女子象她那样在表面上对装饰品很不讲究，而实际上是花了一番功夫的。她没有一件装饰品是随随便便穿戴在身上的，但是在每一件装饰品上你都看不出她精心配搭的痕迹。她的穿扮在表面上显得很平常，但实际上是十分好看，引人注目的。她不仅不炫耀她迷人的美，她反而把它掩饰起来，但她愈掩饰，便愈是使人在心里回味。当你看到她的时候，你会说她是“一个朴实的聪明的女孩子”，但是，如果你在她身边一呆久了，你的眼睛和心就会一刻不停地老是去看她和想她，这时候，你会感觉到，她身上的服饰之所以那样朴实，正是为了使你逐件逐件地通过它们去想象穿戴那些服饰的人。
苏菲有一些天生的才能，这一点她自己是知道的，而且是充分地加以利用了的；不过，由于她还不知道怎样培养那些才能，所以她只知道用她清脆的声音节拍准确而谐和地唱歌，用两只灵巧的脚轻松活泼地练习走路；在任何场合都能毫无拘束和大大方方地向人家行礼。她唯一的唱歌教师是她的父亲，她唯一的舞蹈教师是她的母亲；住在邻近的一位风琴师教她弹过几次风琴，以后她就自己单独去练习了。起初，她只想多弹黑键子，后来，她发现风琴的清脆的声音可以使声调听起来更加美妙，才逐渐逐渐地学习和声；最后，在她长大的时候，她便开始领略到音乐的美，对音乐感到喜欢了。不过，喜欢音乐只能说是一种爱好，而不能说是才能，她现在还不能看着谱子就会唱歌。
苏菲最喜欢的而且也是大家花了一番很大的功夫教她学习的，是女性专长的工作，甚至连大家原来不打算要她做的剪裁和缝制衣服之类的工作，她也是非常喜欢的。没有哪一门针线活她不会做或不乐于做，但她最喜欢的是做花边，因为，只有做花边的时候姿势最好看，最能使手指头越练越灵巧。她对所有一切家务事情都是很专心细致地做的。她也会做菜和做一切杂事，她很熟悉各种食物的价值和质量的优劣，她很会计数算帐，她简直就是她母亲的管家。由于她自己将来一定是要做一个家庭主妇的，所以她在经管她父母的家庭的时候，就可以学会怎样经管她自己的家；她能够帮助家中的女仆们做事，而且经常是自动地去帮助她们做的。任何事情，只有在你自己会做的时候，你才能够有效地指挥别人去做。她的妈妈之所以要她这样做家中的事情，其原因就在于此。就苏菲来说，她心里是考虑不到这些的；她的第一个天职是做一个好女儿，她在目前唯一要履行的就是这个天职。她心中所考虑的是怎样侍奉她的母亲，怎样尽心竭力地替她分担一部分劳苦。因此，她在做家务工作的时候，并不是那么平均地样样都喜欢的。举例来说，尽管她喜欢吃精美的饮食，但她并不喜欢到厨房去做菜；在烹调饮食的过程中，有几样事情是她很感厌烦的，在她看来是不清洁的。她在这方面是极其考究的，这样一种过度的考究已经变成了她的缺点之一：她宁可让一餐的饭菜都烧焦煮烂，也不愿意弄脏自己的衣袖。由于同样的理由，她也不愿意去整治菜园。她认为泥土是很不清洁的，她一见到肥料就觉得闻到了一种不好的气味。
这个缺点，是由她的母亲对她的教育造成的。照她的母亲看来，在妇女们应当做到的许多事情中，最重要的事情之一就是保持清洁，保持清洁是大自然一定要妇女们非做到不可的特别重要的事情。在世界上，最令人感到恶心不过的是一个肮脏的妇女，如果她的丈夫讨厌她的话，那是讨厌得很有道理的。她从苏菲的童年时候起，就一再地向她讲解这一点；她十分严格地要求她的女儿要保持个人的清洁，她的衣服、寝室、所做的一切东西和梳装用具都要那样干干净净的；注意清洁已经是她的一种习惯，每天要占去她的一大部分时间，而且首先是搞完了清洁工作然后才搞其他的事情。在她看来，东西做得好不好是次要的，而最重要的是做得干净。
然而，所有这一切并没有使苏菲因此就养成一种装模作样的神气，也没有使她养成一股娇气；她在这方面的考究是不花一文钱的，她房间里用的水全都是普通的水，她所知道的唯一无二的香气是花香，将来，她的丈夫要想闻到什么甜蜜的气味的话，那就只能去闻她的呼吸了。总之，她在注意个人的仪表上尽管花费了一些心思，但她并没有因此就忘掉她应当把她的生命和时间用之于更高尚的事情。她不会、或者说她不愿意因为过分地讲究身体清洁而沾污了灵魂；与其说苏菲很清洁，不如说她很善良、很纯洁。
我在前面说过苏菲是很贪吃的，她天生的食量就是很大的；不过，由于她已经养成了良好的习惯，所以她对饮食是很有节制的，而且在目前，由于她有了很好的道德修养，所以在饮食上是更有节制了。我们对女孩子是不能象对男孩子那样利用她们贪吃的习惯对她们进行一定程度的控制的。贪吃的习惯对女性是有很大的影响的，如果让她们贪吃的话，那是极其危险的。在童年时候，小小的苏菲如果是单独一个人走进她妈妈的房间的话，没有哪一次是空着两只手走出来的，她一看到糖果和糕点就经不住考验，总要口里发馋，拿几个来吃的。她的妈妈一再地当场捉住她、惩罚她，让她挨饿。最后，她的妈妈终于使她明白糖果对牙齿是有害的，而且吃得太多会使身体发胖的。这样，苏菲就改正了这个缺点，到她一天天长大的时候，她就有了其他的爱好，因而使她改掉了这种贪口腹的习惯。妇女和男子一样，只要她们的思想一旦活跃起来，贪图口腹就不再成为一个支配她们行动的恶习了。苏菲保持了女性特有的爱好，她喜欢吃奶制品和甜食，喜欢吃发面食品和一碟一碟的小菜，但是肉是吃得很少的，她从来没有喝过酒或其他的烈性的饮料；此外，她吃任何东西都是很有节制的，女人的劳动量没有男人的劳动量大，所以用不着吃那么多东西去补偿她们身体的消耗。不论什么东西，只要味道好她就喜欢吃，而且她也善于品尝饮食的味道；食物的味道即使不好，她也能够吃，而且吃起来也没有什么感到不舒服的地方。
苏菲的头脑很聪明，但还说不上是十分的敏慧；她的思想很健全，但还说不上是十分的深刻；大家之所以没有议论过她的才情是不是优异，是因为大家都觉得她既不比人家聪明，也不比人家愚蠢。她具有的才情足以使同她谈话的人感到很有乐趣，虽然按照我们所理解的妇女的文化程度来看，她的措辞并不是特别优美；她所说的事情不是从书上学来的，而完全是从同她的父母的谈话中领会到的，是从她自己的思考和对她所接触的为数不多的人的观察中归纳出来的。苏菲天生就是很活泼的，而且在童年的时候还有点儿调皮；不过，她的妈妈后来就有意识地一点一点地制止她那种轻浮的样子，以免到了非改掉这种样子不可的时候才突然叫她改，那就不好改了。因此，在她还没有到非改不可的时候，她已经就变得相当的稳重了；现在，她已成长为大姑娘了，她觉得保持这种稳重的样子，比在不知其所以然的情况下去学习这种样子，还容易得多。有时候，看见她由于原来的习惯没有完全改掉而仍然表现出童年时候的活泼样子，但跟着又规规矩矩地，闭着嘴，低着头，脸儿羞得通红。看到她这种样子，真是令人感到十分的喜悦。她处在这成年和童年之间的时期，所以这两种人的样子都有一点。
苏菲的心太敏感了，所以她的脾气很难保持平衡；不过，由于她为人是十分的温柔，所以即使在脾气发作的时候也不会使别人感到难堪；她只是让她自己难过一阵罢了。如果你说了一句伤害她的话，她也不会生气，不过她心里是很激动的，她将跑到另外一个地方去哭泣。在她哭得很伤心的时候，只要一听到她的父亲或母亲叫她，她便马上擦干眼泪，憋着啜泣的声音，笑着玩着地跑到他们的跟前。
她并不是一点任性的心情都没有的；由于她的脾气有些过于急躁，所以她对人家所说的话欢喜表示反抗，因而每每使她自己不能约束自己。但是，只要你在一段时间内不去管她，让她的心情恢复平静，则她为了弥补她的过失而采取的办法，那简直就是一种美德的表现了。如果你惩罚她，她也乖乖地忍受。你将看到，她感到羞愧的不是受到惩罚，而是做错了事情。即使你一句话也没有说，她也会自动去弥补她的过失，而且在这样做的时候，态度是那样的坦率和开朗，以至使你不可能对她怀抱恶意。即使你当着仆人的面责备她，她也坦然接受而没有任何狼狈不堪的样子；一到你对她表示宽恕的时候，你从她喜悦的面孔上就可以看出她心中解除了多么大的负担。总之，对于别人的过失，她可以耐心地忍受；而对于自己的过失，则乐于改正。女性的天性，如果没有受到我们的败坏，就是如此可爱的。女人对男人是能够表示忍让的，甚至对他们的不公正的行为也是能够容忍的。可是，如果你要象约束女孩子那样地约束男孩子，那就办不到了；他们将对不公正的行为表示反抗，因为大自然并没有要求他们一定要容忍这种行为：