Chapter 82 Chapter 7 Prisoners After Release

There was a chapter "Arrest" in this book, do we need to write another chapter "Release"? You know, among those who were arrested (I mean those who violated Article 58), I am afraid that not even one-fifth of them can taste this "release". If there is one-eighth, it is very All right. Who doesn't know what "Release!" is all about?How many scenes of release have been described in literary works and movies all over the world: the gloomy prison door is opened, the sun is shining outside, the crowd cheers, and relatives embrace. But the "release" under the gloomy skies of the Gulag Archipelago is hateful.Because the sky above your head will only get darker when you get out. "Release" is unhurried (why should the authorities be in a hurry now?), it drags on like a cursive script with a long tail, and that's the only difference between it and the lightning-fast "arrest" .Other than that, release is exactly the same as arrest.It just goes from one punishment to another, which equally stabs you in the chest, destroys your entire living arrangement, and messes up your conception of everything, while at the same time giving you no hope.

If the arrest is likened to the sudden attack of a severe cold on a liquid, then, so to speak, the release is a slight thaw between two severe colds. It is the state between arrests. This is because as long as there is a "release" in this country, there must be a new "arrest" somewhere in the future. In the middle of two arrests - this is the "release" of Khrushchev's previous forty years. It's also like a lifesaving week thrown between the two islets of the archipelago. _Before going from one camp to another, grab it and struggle in the water for a while! ...

The period between the first bell and the last bell is called "sentence period", and the middle section from one labor camp to another is called "release". Mayakovsky tried his best to call on others to envy the Soviet passport, but the cloudy olive-colored ID card in your hand was smeared with black ink from Article 39 of the ID Card Law.Take it, and no town will give you a hukou, and no good job will ask you to do it.In the labor camp there were still people who took care of the food, but here there were none. At the same time, you have obtained the very unreliable so-called "freedom to come and go"...

These unfortunates should not be called freed ones—no, they were deprived of their penal colony.Once these people lose the inescapable place of exile that was bestowed on him, they will no longer force him to live in the primeval forests of Krasnoyarsk or in the deserts of Kazakhstan with a large number of his own people - those who have been in prison. among people.No, these people wanted to be among the mistreated, densely populated free people.But the people there keep away from them, where they will be marked people, candidates for re-arrest. Natalia Ivanovna Stolyarova was released from the Karty labor camp on April 27, 1945.She couldn't leave right away because she hadn't received her ID yet.But she didn't have a card to buy food, and she didn't have a place to live. The only job she could find was logging and firewood.The few rubles donated to her by her friends in the camp were quickly eaten up, and she had to go back to the camp.She lied to the guards that she came back to pick up things (the old rules here are patriarchal, as long as the boss agrees), so she went back to the original work shed!She couldn't be happier!The female companions gathered around, asking for some rotten vegetable soup from the kitchen, (ah. It's delicious!) talking and laughing, everyone listened to her telling how she was helpless outside, without food and clothing: no, no, Life in the labor camp was better.It's time for the roll call.One more person! . ...the guard on duty humiliated her, and finally allowed her to stay overnight, but by the next morning (May 1) she had to "get out"!

Stolyarova worked tirelessly throughout her time in the labor camp. (She returned to the Soviet Union from Paris when she was young, and was quickly arrested and imprisoned. So now she wants to go out and see the sights of the motherland earlier!) Because "she is active in labor", the authorities released her on favorable conditions: There is no limit to where she must live.Those who had to live in designated places could always find a place to live, because the Civil Police had no power to deport them elsewhere.But Stolyarova, who holds the "full release" certificate, has become a bereaved dog that everyone chases after.The police stations everywhere refused to allow her to settle down.When she arrived in Moscow, she was only entertained with tea at the homes of some old acquaintances, and no one offered to ask her to stay.She had to go to the train station to spend the night. (The bad thing about the waiting room is not only that the police often come to chase people away at night, but also drive everyone out when cleaning up before dawn. In addition, probably every released prisoner remembers the time he spent in the waiting room of a large railway station. Fear I have experienced: When I saw the policeman approaching, my heart trembled: how stern the policeman’s eyes are 2 Of course the policeman will feel that this person was originally a prisoner, and he will immediately ask you: "Where is your ID?" If he If you confiscate your release certificate, it will be over, and you will become a prisoner again. We have no so-called rights, no laws, and "people" do not exist, only documents! So now he takes your As soon as the release certificate is taken away, you are finished. This is our personal experience.) Later, Stoljarova planned to work as a worker in a glove factory in Luga, which fortunately did not produce gloves for the working class. used, but for German prisoners of war.It's always okay, right?However, instead of hiring her, the director of the factory taunted her in public: "Oh, you want to get into our organization! We know what you are doing! We have read Sheinin's novels!" (Ah, You fat man sue Yining! You should choke to death!)

It's a vicious circle: if you don't have a registered permanent residence, you can't find a job, and if you don't have a job, you won't be given a registered permanent residence.If you don't have a job, you can't get a food card.According to regulations, the Ministry of Internal Affairs is responsible for the placement of released prisoners, but people who have been in prison do not know this rule, and even if they know it, they dare not trouble the Ministry of Internal Affairs according to this rule, because no one is afraid of being locked up again... It is true: the person is free, and tears are exchanged all day long.

When I was studying at Rostov University, there was a very strange professor named H. A. Trifonov. He always shrinks his neck, is often in a state of tension, and is very timid. People should never be in the corridors. greet him.We found out later: he had been in prison.A call to him in the corridor was like an operative's call to him. After the war, there was a doctor at the Rostov Medical Academy who was released from prison. He was convinced that he would inevitably be arrested again and did not want to wait any longer; he committed suicide.Those who have experienced life in a labor camp, who know it well, should not be surprised to choose this path.It is no more painful to go this way.

Those who are released prematurely are unfortunate!After Avenil Borisov was released in 1946, he did not go to any big cities, but returned to his hometown in the countryside.His old friends and classmates tried to avoid him in the city, unwilling to stop and say hello to him. When it doesn't open, I can barely cope with a few words, and leave in a hurry.Nobody ever asked him how he spent those years. (While everyone seems to know no more about the Gulag Islands than about Central Africa, no one asks. Will our children and grandchildren ever understand that our free society is so well-trained? ) However, an old friend from college finally invited him over to his house for a cup of food in the evening, after dark.What a rare friendship!Heart-warming!It is this kind of inconspicuous warmth that is needed to melt ice and snow, and it is what he needs for Borisov!he went.During the chat, Avenil Borisov asked his friend to take a look at the photo album and recall the past together.Friends took it out.The friend himself had completely forgotten that he had... He was surprised to see Avenir suddenly stand up and leave in a hurry before the tea in the samovar was ready.Yeah, Avenir saw it in the photo album: all the pictures of his face blacked out with ink.How should Borisov feel here and now? !

Avenir Borisov's status was later promoted, and he became the director of the kindergarten.Among the children accommodated in this kindergarten are some orphans of fallen soldiers.When these children heard that the children of other wealthy cadres nicknamed the director "prison manager", they cried very sadly. (No one here will explain to children: the parents of the children of rich families are probably "prisoners", and Avenir is "the prisoner". If it is the Russian people of the last century, There will never be such a lack of sense of the language of the motherland!)

Another example is that although A. Kartel also violated Article 58, he was expelled from the labor camp in 1943 because he was unable to work due to tuberculosis.Holding a "black nationality" citizenship certificate, he cannot be registered in any city, and he cannot find a job everywhere. The disease is dooming him to die slowly, and no one wants him.At this time, the conscription committee suddenly came.Soldiers are urgently needed. _ very urgent.Karthier suffered from open tuberculosis, but he declared that he was healthy, thinking: If you want to die, just die as an equal person!He enlisted.He served almost until the end of the war.He was only noticed later by the eyes of the "Third Unit" in the field hospital, who discovered this desperate soldier on the battlefield... an "enemy of the people".In 1949, the list had been decided, and he was to be re-arrested, thanks to a few good people in the Military Council who rescued him.

In the Stalin era, the best form of release was to remain in labor immediately after walking out of the camp gates.Most of the local production units know these people well, and it is easy to find jobs.The people from the Ministry of Internal Affairs also thought that they had already checked it when they met on the street, and they generally didn't bother. However, not always.In 1938, after being released from the Bam labor camp, Prokhorov and Pustovel voluntarily stayed there, working as a freelance engineer.Rosenblitt, Chief of the Operations Section, told him: "You're released. But remember, you're always walking on a tightrope. Make a mistake and you're a prisoner again. There's not even a trial for that. So be careful! Don't think you What is up to the citizens again!" These clever prisoners who remained near the camps chose prison voluntarily as another form of freedom.In some desolate and remote areas, such as Nairob and Narem, there are still hundreds of thousands of such people.Even if they go to jail again, they won't feel sad, anyway, they are right next to them! In the area of ​​Kolyma, there is no choice at all, because here the entire population is bound here - when the prisoners are released, they have to sign a voluntary pledge: they will continue to work where they are in the future. (It is more difficult for people in Kolyma to obtain permission to enter the "mainland of the suzerain" than to be released.) For example, Na Vy Surovtseva unfortunately completed her sentence.Yesterday she was still working in the child care center attached to the labor camp, where it is warm and full of food.Now that Jinda has been released, he has to go to work in the fields because there is no other work.Yesterday she was sure to have a bed to sleep in and a ration to receive, but today she is not: the ration is gone, and the accommodation is gone.She had to sleep on the rotting floor of a half-collapsed house. (This is Kolyma!) Thanks to the help of friends from the nursery: for a long time they smuggled the rations they had saved to her, a free man.Surovtseva described the "oppression of a free state" as she described her new feelings upon release.Later, she gradually became independent, and even became... the owner of the house"! In this photo, we see her standing proudly next to her small house. But this kind of "house" may not be the same for all dogs. Willing to get in. The reader should not think that this is the case only in remote Kolyma.Please take a look at the typical work sheds "temporary houses" in Vorkuta.The free people living here are still living a good life. Of course, they were all criminals in the past. It follows that the form of M. P. Yakubovich's release was not the worst: he was "released" to a home for the disabled ("Tikhonov's house"), where he continued to be tortured. Supervisors still have no right to go to other places. After his release, Rudkowski could not find work anywhere. (He said. "I suffered as much as I did in the labor camp.") So he had to go to Kostanay to clear the land ("I met everyone there!").Schweder had to marshal trains in Norilsk no matter how heavy the wind and snow was.The ears are deaf.Later, he went to work as a fireman and had to work twelve hours a day.He went to the social assistance agency to ask for relief, but he didn't have a work document, and people just shrugged and said. "You bring up witnesses!" Witnesses?Our witnesses are walruses... Karpnich has been in Kolyma for twenty years, tortured, sick.When he was about to be released at the age of sixty, he could not receive a pension because he did not have the working age requirement of "more than twenty-five years of employed labor".The longer a person stayed in a labor camp, the more sick he became, the shorter his "service" and the less hope he had of receiving a pension. You know, there is no organization in our country like the god "Relief Society for Ex-Prisoners" in the UK. This kind of heretical organization is frightening even thinking about it in our country. __People write to me and say: "One day in the camp was Ivan Denisovich's day, and his second day out" Forget it!Hasn't the sun of liberty risen since then?Not reaching out to the less fortunate and telling them. "All this will never happen again!" Yiming?Even on the rostrum of the Party Congress there seemed to be tears? ! , Zhukov wrote from the city of Kovrov: "I didn't stand up. I got up on my knees."But "we are always labeled as reform-through-labour prisoners, as long as there are things like downsizing. Of course we bear the brunt of it."Gukhonov wrote: "My reputation was restored, and now I work in the Institute, but it always seems to continue to live in a labor camp. The people who step on us and hold power are still the leaders of the labor camps. Those people." Popov said: "No matter what I said orally, or what I wrote on paper, as soon as my colleagues heard that I had been reformed through labor, they turned their faces away involuntarily." No, the devil is indeed still powerful!My country is still like this today.If you want to push this country a foot away in the direction of tyranny, you only need to frown and cough at most; but if you want to push her even an inch in the direction of freedom, you need to put on a hundred clothes. They had to beat each of them with a stick, shouting, "Look! Pull there! Look! Pull there!" So, what is the way to restore one's reputation?An old woman surnamed Qi suddenly received a notice in a rough tone: "Come to the police station before ten o'clock tomorrow morning!" Nothing else was said_!Her daughter ran to ask with this notice the night before. "What's going on here? I'm really worried about my mother's life. What should I make her mentally prepare for?" "Don't worry! It's a happy thing, and it's going to rehabilitate her dead husband!" (Maybe What a sad thing? This is something that those "blessers" would never think of.) If the way of showing kindness in our country is like this, it goes without saying that the way of showing cruelty in our country is self-evident! The avalanche of rehabilitation is coming fiercely!But it didn't crack the granite foreheads of the infallible people either!Because the direction of the avalanche is not toward the side where you only need to frown, but toward the side where you need to put a hundred scalpers on. "Rehabilitation work has been carried out too hastily!" Party officials said bluntly, "Too many people have been rehabilitated too far!" Voldemar Konglin (Rostov-on-Don) spent fifteen years in squatting, and for eighteen years after he came out, he was honest and utterly silent.It was only in 1960 that I dared to talk to my colleagues about the terrible situation in the labor camp.Therefore, a case was filed against him. A KGB major said to Zaarin: "Don't think that if you are rehabilitated, you are not guilty. It's just that the crime is not serious. But some things can never be erased!" In the city of Riga, also in 1960, Petropavlovsky was collectively "whole" for three consecutive months by some "colleagues" who cooperated very well.Because he concealed the fact that his father was shot to death in 1937! Because of this, Komogor did not understand: "Who is right and who is guilty today? When those ugly faces suddenly talk about equality and friendship, where should we hide?" After his recovery, Markelov became a moderate "official" in the labor cooperative organization - he was elected director of the insurance council of the craft cooperative labor union, which, in short, was equivalent to the chairman of the local committee of the labor union.But the chairman of this labor association never dared to let this elected cadre stay alone in his office, even for a minute. The official documents of the committee are all in their own hands. "Has a document been sent to you concerning the re-election of the local council of the trade union?" asked Marklov. "Oh, it looks like a copy of this was delivered a month or so ago," Bayev replied. "I need it now!" "Well, let me show you, but you have to hurry up and get off work soon!" Why is this official document sent to me!Well, I'll give it back to you tomorrow morning! ""How about that? !How can that work!Here are the files! "--Please put yourself in the shoes of this Urklov, if you are under the face of Bayev, and your salary income and household registration all depend on this Bayev. What will you do? How about breathing the air of this free century?! A female teacher named Jeyeva was fired because of her "moral depravity": she lost the dignity of a teacher and married a... this person)! All this happened not in Stalin's time, but in Khrushchev's time. The only physical thing left of the past is the document.A small piece of paper, about twelve centimeters wide and eighteen centimeters long.For those still alive, it is a document of restoration.For those who have died, it is a death notice.The time of death—can’t be verified; the column of the place of death—a big "Z" is drawn to indicate unknown; as for the death diagnosis, even if you turn over a hundred pages of such supporting documents, there are ready-made answers, and some have attached The (invented, of course) names of the witnesses. The real witnesses were silent. We were also silent. , so where will future generations go to learn about it?All concealed, crucified, whitewashed. Verbowski complained: "Even young people cast suspicious and contemptuous glances at the restored man." Of course, not all young people are like this.Most of the youth are not at all concerned about these matters.Have we restored our reputation?Are the 12 million people currently in prison still in prison?Most youth feel that these are completely irrelevant to them.As long as they themselves are free for now, with tape recorders and girls with tousled hair. Fish never fight against the fishing industry, they just try to get out of the mesh. The same disease can have different course in different people.The same goes for release.If you look at it up close, everyone feels release very differently. The same is true from a physical point of view.Some people put too much "stress" into trying to get through the labor camp.They concentrated all their energies and survived the labor reform period like iron men.For ten years they did not eat what their bodies needed, worked hard all day long, wore thin clothes and threw stones in the cold without catching a cold.However, once the prison sentence is over, the external inhuman pressure is somewhat relaxed, and the internal tension is also relaxed.The "pressure difference" that occurs at this time will destroy this kind of person.The strong man Churbenev worked in the lumberyard for seven years without ever catching a cold.After his release, he suffered from several diseases.Sorokin.After his reputation was restored, his spirit and psychology became more and more unsound.His companions in the labor camp had always envied his sound mentality.He later suffered from several diseases: neurosis.Mental illness..." Igor Kaminov said: "After I was released from prison, my body was much weaker and I had no strength at all. I always felt more tired than in the labor camp. " There have long been three sentences like this: "Perseverance in times of hardship, and eating wine and meat in turn." Some people lost all their teeth within a year after they were released.Some people quickly become old men.Others, upon reaching home, die like a burnt-out candle, But there are others, whose spirits are revived only after their release, and only then are they rejuvenated.Stand up straight (for example, I myself look younger now than in the first photo of my exile).You will suddenly find out: the outside world is really easy!There, gravity is completely different on the Gulag Islands.There, my legs are as heavy as an elephant's, but when I go outside, my legs are as light as a sparrow.All the hardships that a free man finds insoluble are within our reach.One is because we have a vigorous ruler: "It was much more difficult in the past!" It was much more difficult in the past, which means that it is easy to solve now.We never tire of repeating this sentence: it was much more difficult than this before!It used to be much more difficult than this! However, there are a few decisive strokes that draw a person's future destiny.It still lies in the turning point of his mental state at the time of his release.The manifestations of this turning point vary widely.Only when you walk out of the gate of the watchtower of the labor camp, will you feel that you are leaving the hometown of the labor camp.Spiritually you are reborn here, and the most private and precious part of you remains here forever, even though your legs are reporting you to that voiceless, unresponsive world outside the prison. The human character will show in the labor camp, but it will also show in the release!We mentioned Vera Alexeyevna Korneyeva earlier.Now let's see how she left the special labor camp in 1951.She said: "Two five-meter-high gates closed behind me. I cried. I couldn't believe how I could cry the moment I was walking by the outside world. Why am I crying?... There is a feeling , as if I had torn my heart from what was dearest to me, from my fellow sufferers. The door was closed. It was all over. I would never see these people again, never again Got any news from them. I seem to be in the afterlife..." Is to enter the afterlife! ... Release is another form of death.Are we free?We die and enter some kind of underworld, a completely different, somewhat illusory life.We will carefully touch various things in that world and try to understand it anew. However, the release to this world was not what I imagined.Its image in our minds is depicted in Pushkin's way: "Brothers will send swords into your hands." "However, very few generations of prisoners have enjoyed such happiness. Ours is a stolen release, not a real release.Everyone who feels this way hastens to flee to solitary life with this little stolen liberty.dimension.Posperov said: "When we were still in the labor camps, we, my good friends and I, almost all thought this way: Once God let us get out of here alive and free, we will never live in We don’t live in cities, nor in villages. We want to live deep in the woods, be a ranger or a forest ranger, or even a shepherd, far away from people, politics, and everything in this world.” Avigne R. Borisov, after his release, spent the first period of time avoiding people and trying to escape to nature.He said: "I really want to hug every little white leaf, hug every poplar tree and kiss. I heard the sound of falling leaves as if I was listening to music (I was released in autumn). In my eyes Full of tears. I can only earn five hundred grams of bread a day, but it doesn't matter, as long as I can listen to this silence for hours and hours, as long as I can read a book, I am satisfied. Any work in the world outside the prison seems easy and easy. Simple; the days and nights fly by like hours, and the thirst for life is never satisfied. If there is such a thing as happiness in the world, every prisoner must meet it in his first year after his release!" Such people often do not want to own anything for a long time: they understand that property can be lost as easily as it is burned.They avoid new things almost superstitiously, wear out old clothes until they are worn out, and use old furniture until they can no longer be used.A friend of mine doesn't have anything at home to sit and lean on.They themselves laughed and said, "Look, that's how we live, from one camp to this." (He just bought a new set of furniture, and he died.) When Leon Kopelev returned to Moscow in 1955, he found: "It is difficult to get along with people who are doing well! So I often meet old friends who are more or less frustrated." Indeed, as human beings, only those who give up the pursuit of fame and wealth are interesting in life, while those who continue to pursue these things are mostly boring. However, people are different.Some people feel completely different about being released into the outside world (especially during the period when the "Chickagbo" seemed to close their eyes).Many thought: Hooray!I am free!Now there is only one credo: never go in again!Now you can make up for what you lost in the past! Some people have to make up for their positions, and some people have to make up for their (academic, military rank, etc.) titles.Some people have to make up for earning money and saving passbooks. (In our country, people always use a dismissive tone when talking about money, but they are still counting money behind their backs...) There are also people who have to make up for their children.Others... (such as Valentin? M?) swore to everyone when he was in prison: After he gets out of prison, he will make up for the girls.And M did exactly that; for several years he worked during the day and spent his nights, including normal nights, hanging out with girls, always getting new ones; he slept only four or five hours a day.So he quickly lost weight and aged.Others make up in food, in furniture and clothing. (How his own buttons were ripped off, how his best things were confiscated in the bathroom dressing room, he forgot;) Buying things also became a most pleasurable activity for some people. But how can you blame these people?There are indeed too many things to lose!There are indeed too many things cut off from life! Since there are two completely different feelings about life outside prison, there must be two different attitudes towards the past. Yes, you lived through those terrible years.But you are not a cruel and terrible murderer, not a vicious liar!So why do you want power to forget about prison and labor camp life?It's nothing to be ashamed of.Wouldn't it be more appropriate to think that it enriches your life experience?Wouldn't it be more right to be proud of it? But how many people are trying to forget all this! (And they were neither weak-willed nor ignorant. Surprise!) They want to forget as soon as possible!Forget about it!Completely forget about it all, as if it never happened! Wendelstein said: "Generally speaking. I always don't want to recall it. It can also be said to be some kind of protective reaction." Pullman said; "To be honest. I don't want to see the former labor camp acquaintances of the past, so as not to bring up memories of the past." C.A. Lesovik said: "From the day I came back from the labor camp, I tried not to recall the past. You know, I almost managed to do this! (in Before "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" was published.) "C.A. Dudarin was a man I knew long ago, the cell where I lived in the Lubinka prison in 1945 preceded me That's where he lives.I mentioned to him other people in the same cell, and I also mentioned people who I didn't know before, who lived in the same cell as him.And he replied: "But I'm trying to forget all the people who have been in prison with me!" (In this case, of course, I don't have to answer his question anymore.) I can understand why the orthodox in the original camp would try to avoid their camp acquaintances.They were tired of one person barking at a hundred people, and the memories of that period were too heavy for him.Moreover, generally speaking, contact us impure,.What is the use of enlightened people to them?Besides, what kind of ideological loyalists are they if they don't forget the past, forgive the past, and return to the original state?It is for this reason that they submit petitions four times a year, begging hard. "Recover me! Bring me back! I did a good job in the past and I will continue to do a good job in the future!" What are they trying to recover?The first is to restore the party card.There are also seniority cards, party years, and achievements. acquitted, honor restored, The party card on his head exudes a warm breath. To these people, the Laogaidan experience is like some kind of poisonous dirty thing, which must be rid of as soon as possible.They thought: Even if the experience in the labor camps is shaken, washed and cleaned up, can a little precious metal be recovered? The old Bolshevik Vasiliev in Leningrad is an example.He spent two decades (deprived of political power for five years each time).Now he receives a personal specific pension at the republic level.So, he said: "I am completely secure now. I want to sing praises to our party and our people." (Wonderful! It seems that only Job in the Bible sings praises to God like this: God, thank you Kick us ulcers, pestilence, starvation, death, humiliation! Praise you! Glory be to you!) But this Vasiliev is not idle, he is not a mere consumer, he says; Member of the Parasite Fighting Committee." That is to say, they are still working hard on the old bones to do the current major acts of undermining the rule of law.Behold, this is what a "sound-thinking man" looks like. I can also understand why former whistleblowers-eyeliners don't want to remember and meet: they fear being blamed and exposed. But what about everyone else?Is this because the servility is too deep?Is it a voluntary pledge for fear of going in again?Nastenka Vie did not go to prison as usual.She went in with a gunshot wound from resisting arrest, but now she presses her fists to her temples and says to me, "Forget it, stick it like a dream, forget, forget the hallucinations you experienced in the labor camp. "The classical philologist A. De, according to the nature of his work, is to make a rational sweat on various ancient historical scenes.But why did he also command himself to "forget everything"?So what could he have learned in the whole of human history? Yevgenia was arrested and imprisoned in Lubinka prison in 1921, when she was not married.She told me about this experience in 1965, but then added. "I never told my dead husband about it before and after marriage. Forgot..." Forgot?Forgot to tell the closest person with whom she lived all her life?That said, it's not long enough to keep us in prison! ! Maybe I shouldn't judge so harshly?Perhaps this is the average of human nature?Some proverbs among the common people say the same thing: Have a sweet day.I don't know the pain of the past. It's easy to forget things, and forget the pain when the scar is healed. Well, the scars forget the pain! --It turns out that this is a human being! ... _ My friend Nikolai Witkiewicz was my accomplice, and we both got ourselves behind bars with our childlike outspokenness.In his view, all that we have been through is a curse, a ignominious failure of fools.So he dived headlong into science, into the surest of careers, to make something of it.In 1959, when Pasternak was still alive but surrounded by hounds, we talked about Pasternak.He waved his hands disapprovingly and said, "Don't look through these old imperial calendars anymore! You'd better listen to me tell me how I fought in the teaching and research section!" (He often fights with some people in order to get promotion in his position. ) Yes, the court-martial sentenced him to ten years of hard labor. In fact, maybe one caning is enough? ... Grigory M-Ze was also released.He was released, the original sentence was revoked, his reputation was restored, and his party card was returned to him.腰知道，人们根本没有问他在这期间是否信仰了耶和华或者穆罕默德？人们不管他从前的思想是否已经荡然无存。很简单："这是你的党证，拿去吧！"）于是姆-泽从哈萨克斯坦又回到原来的某地。他经过我们城市时，我特地赶到火车站去同他会面。他如今夜想些什么呢？嗯，他会不会现在又希望回到军队的"秘密科"、（特别科"，或者"专门科"去？我同他谈话时，他好像总是心不在焉。从那之后他一直没给我来过信，一行字也没有写来，""" 又例如，雷茨。他现在当了房管所的主任，又是民兵。他谈起自己今天的生活来津津有味。他虽然没有忘掉过去，（在科雷马度过的十八个年头怎么能轻易忘掉呢？）但是一提起科雷马，谈话就索然无味了，似乎他在怀疑：这一切果真发生过吗？How is this possible?他身上已经没有过去的痕迹，现在他一切顺利，他对一切都满意。 、就像盗贼"洗手不干"一样．那些政治犯的仿造品们也把过去忘掉。对于这些已经"洗手"的人们来说，这个世界又变得很舒适了，似乎没有荆棘。没有压迫。他们觉得从前似乎大家都在的审．初在他们却觉得似乎谁也不在坐牢。原先五一节和十月革命纪念日所具有的那种欢乐愉快的气氛又回到他们身上，这些节一日对他们来说已不再是让我们站在严寒中、对我们进行特别侮辱性的搜身、把我们严严地关进劳改营监狱的那些日子了。Originally!何必抱那么高的希望呢？ !既然一家之主今天白天在工作岗位上受到了上司夸奖，那么晚上一家人吃饭时不就应该有些节日气氛吗，不就可以庆贺一番吗！ 这些从前的受难者只是在家里还偶尔喃喃地埋怨几句，只在家里他有时还记得村去，这是为了使家里的人更抚爱他，更珍视他。一出家门，他就把过去忘得一干二净。 不过，我们也不该太不近人情。要知道，经历过许多使人厌恶的失意之后回到原来的"自我"中去，恢复自己从前的（虽然不是很好的）特点和习惯，这本是一般人的常情！我们的禀性，我们的遗传基因的稳定性，也就表现在这里。大概人不如此也就不成其为人了吧。我们前面引用过塔拉斯?谢甫琴柯的彷徨的诗句人就是这同一位谢甫琴柯十年之后万分高兴地写道："我的内心形象丝毫没有改变。我衷心感激万能的造物主，他没有让那可怖的试验铁爪触及我的信仰。" 但是，人们究竟怎样才能忘掉呢？到哪里去学会这忘却的本领呢？ ... 加里尼娜给我写信说。"不，我什么也忘不了。生活怎么也安排不好，虽然我自己也不愿意这样／在工作上我可能作出些成绩，日常生活也能处理，可是总觉得心里不舒畅、别扭，而且觉得疲劳。我希望您在描写那些被释放的人时，总不至于说他们完全忘了过去，生活得很幸福吧？" 拉伊莎?拉祖季娜来信说："不让我回忆不好的东西？那么要是没有什么好的可回忆呢？……" 塔玛拉?普雷特科娃写道；"我坐了十二年牢。"我出狱后已经生活了十一年（！）了，可我至今还是不明日到底为什么活着？哪儿才有正义？ " 欧洲谈论平等精神已经两个世纪了。可是在我们这里人们还是多么互不相同啊！生活的犁铧在我们彼此心灵上耕出的犁沟真是太不一样了！有的八十一年什么也忘不掉，另一些人一夜之间忘得干干净净。 伊万?多布里亚克说："一切都过去了，可又不是一切。给我恢复了名誉，可我总是不能平静。很少有一个星期能够安安静静地睡觉，总是梦见劳改营。我自己流着眼泪从梦中惊醒，坐起来，或者把别人吓得赶快叫醒我。" 安斯?伯恩施坦获释十一年之后还一直梦见劳改营。我也大约有五年的时间老是梦见自己是因犯，从来没有梦见自己是自由人。即使今天．有时候还梦见我是因犯（我在梦里一点也没感到奇怪，一切行动还是按照治经验）。列?科佩列夫获释十四年后得了病，马上就说开关于监狱的胡话了。乃?科佩列夫获释后第十四年得了病、病中的谵妄都是关于劳改营监狱的， 我们的舌头总像是说不出"船舱"和"病房"这些词，总想说成"牢房" 沙维林说；"我至今一看到狼狗还是心惊胆战的。 丘尔佩涅夫如今一走进树林就不能平静地呼吸，也不能欣赏自然风光，他说："我一看，这片松树林不错。枝杈很少，伐倒之后无须再烧掉砍下的枝杈，能够出一批很好的方材……" 米尔采沃村里几乎半居民是在劳改营呆过的（虽然大多是犯的盗窃罪）。 ＿如果你释放后住进了这个村。怎么能忘掉过去呢？你来到梁赞火车站。看见车站的围墙上有三根柱子是损坏的，可是从来也没有修过，好像就应该这样。这是因为囚犯列车通常正是停在这里的，运囚犯的。 "乌鸦车"也一直开到这儿，一车屁股对着缺口，囚犯们一下火车就被轰着往这个墙洞里钻． （这样方便，无须押着囚犯走过嘈杂的月台）。全苏无知普及协会"给你开出一张出差证（一九五七年），原来是叫你去第二劳改区，即附设在监狱的妇女劳改区去作报告的。你走过岗楼。一项熟悉的军帽从小窗口里盯着你、你同教育科的一位代表一起穿过监狱大院，衣裳破旧的女囚犯首先讨好地赶着向你们两人打招呼。你坐在政治处主任办公室稍事休息，陪同者为了不使你寂寞而同你聊天＿一你会想象到，就在这个时候正在从囚室往外赶女犯们，在小伙房里正在夺下囚犯伙夫手里的锅：喂，快去听报告！快点：快！囚犯们挤满礼堂。礼堂里发出一股潮湿味。走廊也潮湿，牢房里可能更潮。整个报告中不幸的妇女们一直咳嗽：那是老年人的、闷声闷气的。连续的咳嗽，是那裂人心肠的短促的干咳。她们的穿戴与其说像妇女，不如说是对妇女的讽刺，年轻人们也都像老太婆一样粗壮拙笨，个个疲惫不堪，盼望着报告尽快结束。你感到耻辱，恨不得化作一阵烟雾散掉。很不得不讲这些"科学技术的成就"，而对她们高喊："妇女们！这一切你们要忍到哪一天算完呀？ ! ……"你的眼睛立即发现几个穿得不错的、甚至穿着毛线衣的鲜明形象。显然她们是当杂役的。好了，你可以把目光停在她们身上，不去听那咳嗽声，可以顺利地宣读讲稿了。这几个人目不转睛地盯着你……是在听吗？不，她们明明不是在听你讲话，她们不需要关于宇宙的知识。因为她们很少看到男人，所以在那里仔细端详你呢……这时，你会设想：假如现在把你的身份证拿走，你就得留在这里了。这几堵墙，距离你熟悉的街道和熟悉的无轨电车站只有几米远的这几堵墙，就将把你同整个外界隔开，它们就不再是墙而变成许多难熬的岁月了……不，不，你马上要离开这里！花四十戈比就可以乘电车到家，吃一顿美味的晚饭。但你总忘不掉：这些妇女仍将留在这里，仍将这样咳嗽下去，成年地咳嗽下去。 每逢我被捕的纪念日，我都要过一个"囚犯日"--早晨切下六百五十克面包，放两小块糖，倒上一杯热水。午饭我要求给我煮一份烂菜汤加一小勺稀饭。于是，我很快便回到原来的境地：天快黑的时候我把面包渣拾进嘴里，把盘子舔干净。往目的景象历历在目，往日的感受刺得我的心隐隐作痛！ 我把自己身上那几块号码布也带出了劳改营，至今保存着。是啊，只我一个人这样吗？不，在这一家，在那一家，到处人们都把它像保存的圣物一样拿出来给我看。 one day.我走在新斯洛博德大街上。布蒂尔卡监狱！ "探监室"。我走进去。里面挤满了妇女，夹杂着个别男人。有人在递交东西，有人在谈话。噢，外界给我们送的东西原来就是通过这里送进去的。真有趣：我若无其事地走过去看"探视规则"。可是这时一个大嘴脸的中土盯了我一眼，走过来问道："公民"，你有什么事？ "他大概看出我不像来探监的，怕我搞什么名堂。这么说，我身上大概总是带着一种因犯气味吧？ 要是去凭吊死者呢？去凭吊那些自己人，也就是你也应该被刺刀扎死同他们躺在一起的那些人呢？奥列涅夫虽已衰老，但他还是在一九六五年去凭吊了一次。他背起背包，拿上手杖来到了从前卫生营的所在地，从那里进了山，当时死人就埋在这里（高凯尔基村不远）。山上到处是白骨和头颅骨。当地居民把这个小岗子叫做白骨山。 加利娅?B?住在遥远的北方城市，那里是半年黑夜，半年白天。整个世界上她没有一个亲人，她的所谓"家"只是一个嘈杂退出的角落。她想休息时便拿着书到饭馆去。要一杯酒，慢慢喝着，看看书，抽支烟，"悲痛地思念俄罗斯"。她最喜爱的朋友是乐队队员和看门的人。she says. "许多从那里回来的人都隐瞒着过去那段经历。可是我却以自己那段经历自豪。 虽然没有固定地点，但过去的囚犯们每年总要在某个地方举行一次难友集会．他们在一起饮酒、回忆。戈利岑谈到这类集会时说。"说来也怪，回忆过去时并不总是些阻暗的、痛苦的场面。许多东西回忆起来倒使人觉得心里暖洋洋的呢！ 这也是人的一种本质！而且并不是最坏的本质。 金兹伯格（金兹堡）高兴地回忆说："我在劳改营时号码前面的编号字母是N，而我获释之后身份证号码前面的编号字母是3k（泽克），有意思吧！" 看到这样的来信心里确实感到温暖．是的，果真的，在许多来信中，从前的囚犯的来信总使人读后感受不同！多么不寻常的生命力啊！如果目的明确。它将产生多大的推动力啊！在我们这个时代，要是你收到一封不是无病呻吟的，而是真正充满乐观主义的来信，那它肯定是从前的囚犯寄来的。一这些人对世界上的一切都已习惯，因而不论面对什么，都不会灰心丧气。 我为自己属于这一强有力的种族而感到自豪！我们原本不是一个种族，是别人使我们成为同一种族的！别人把我们焊到一起了。如果我们处在昏暗和涣散的、人人自危、互相警惕的狱外世界的话，我们永远不会如此坚固地焊接到一起。那些正统派分子和眼线们一到狱外就自动离去了。我们无须约定互相支持，我们也无须互相考验。＿我们一见面，看看眼神，说一两句话，就清楚了。难道还需要解释什么吗？我们是会互相援救的。我们到处都有朋友。我们的人有几百万！ 监狱给了我们一权衡量人和事的新标尺，它从我们眼前去掉了那层经常障住未经风霜的人们的眼睛的世俗油污。这时我们得出了多么出人意料的结论啊！ 娜?斯托利亚罗娃是一九三四年从巴黎自愿要求回国的。她落进了这个捕兽器．它夺去了她一生中最宝贵的时期。但是，斯托利亚罗娃不仅不悔恨自己回国，不痛苦，她反而说："当时我不顾周围一切人的劝告，不听自己理智的声音，而毅然回到了俄国。看来我是做对了！我当时根本不了解俄国，但我的内心已经猜到她是什么样子了。" 卡尔普尼奇-布拉文在国内战争时期曾任旅长。他过去是一帆风顺的，他脾气急躁、易怒。那时候，特别科科长把名单拿给他、他看都不看一眼就用钝铅笔签字批准枪决，而且他不是在名单上都签字，而是在名单末尾签，不用大写字母，而只用小写字母、不带缩写点地写上两个字母："BM"（这意味着：对名单上所有的人全部处死！）后来，他戴上了菱形章，再往后则是在科雷马的劳改营蹲了二十年零半年。如今，他住在大森林中的一个孤零零的村子里，浇菜，养鸡，有时做点儿木工活。他并不申请恢复名誉，一提到伏罗希洛夫他就骂娘。他每天听广播，看报，并且对于每一篇电台广播稿和报纸上的每一篇文章都在笔记本上写下自己愤怒的回答。但是，又过了若干年，这位山村的哲学家却意味深长地从某本书上抄下了这样一句格言： "对人类单有爱还不够，对人们首先应该善于容忍。"而在临死之前，他又写下了他自己的两句话： "我过去总是用自己的尺度评判一切。但现在我已是另外一个人了，我不再用苗已的尺度评判了。" 这使人感到震惊。这不是很神秘吗？是不是托尔斯泰老人还魂了？ 塔尔诺夫斯基是个出类拔萃的人，可是他在刑满之后自愿留在科雷马了。他在写诗，但并不把这些诗寄给任何人。he mused.写道： 注定我呆在这天涯地边， 是上帝判定我沉默无言， 因为我曾看到恶人该隐， 却未能把他的头颈斩断。 遗憾的是；我们全都渐渐地死去，不能完成任何值得敬仰的事业。 此外，回到自由的狱外之后囚犯们还要和许多人见面。父子相会，夫妻相会。而这些会面也常常并不称心如意。十年，十五年来同我们在一起的孩子们，长大之后不可能同我们感情融洽：有时彼此简直形同路人，甚至像是敌人。忠贞地等待丈夫的妇女中受到应得的报偿的只是极少数：因为这么长时间彼此过着完全不同的生活，人的一切全改变了，只剩下姓名没变、他和她的生活经历过于不同，他们已经不可能情投意合了。 这些事还是留给人们去写电影剧本或小说吧，本书无法全包括进来。 但是，这里也不妨援引一个事例。让我何1来听听玛丽娜?卡达茨卡妮的叙述吧。 "头十年期间我的丈夫总共给我写了六百封信。后十年期间只写了一封，而且这封信写得叫人看了不想再活下去。经过十九年之后，当他第一次得到休假时，他并没有到我和儿子这里来，而是到亲戚那里去了。只是过路途中决定在我和儿子这里呆四天。我和儿子去车站接他，不料车站宣布那列火车当天不能到达了。我彻夜未能成眠。天亮时刚刚躺下休息，听到了叩门声。一个陌生的声音说：我找玛丽娅?维涅季克托芙娜！我打开门。走进来一个上了年纪的胖男子，穿着外套，戴着呢帽。他什么也没说，径直走进屋里。我因为刚有些睡意，好像也忘记了自己正在等待丈夫。我们两人呆呆地站着。他问：你没有认出我来？没有。我心里还在想，这是怎么回事？大概是个什么亲戚吧。我亲戚很多，也都多年不见了。这时，我看到他那紧闭的嘴唇，想起自己正在等丈夫--一下子就昏过去了。这时儿子回来了，他正在生病。就这样，我们三个人，在这唯一的一间屋子里整整坐了四天，没有走出去一步。他和儿子两人很拘束，而我同丈夫也几乎没有谈什么，只是一般的谈几句。他讲了他个人的生活。根本没有问及我和儿子这些年没有他是怎么活过来的。他又回西伯利亚去了，临别时都没有看我一眼。我告诉他；我的丈夫早已死在阿尔卑斯山里了（战时他在意大利，是同盟国军队解放他的人" 也有另一种比较愉快的会面。＿可能你会遇见原先的看守或劳改营长官。突然，你会发现在切别尔津旅游基地担任体育指导的斯拉瓦是原先的诺里尔斯克劳改营的看守。或者米沙?巴克斯特突然在列宁格勒糕点商店里看到一个熟悉的面孔，那人也注意到他了。原来那是劳改营分部的长官古萨克大尉，现在换上了便服。"喂，你等等，你等等！你在我的什么地方蹲过把？……噢，我想起来了。因为不好好劳动，我们还没收过你的邮包！"（是啊，他全记得！．但是，他们觉得这一切都很自然。似乎他们就该永远骑在我们头上，月前只不过是短暂的间歇而已！） 还可能遇见（别尔斯基就遇见了）部队指挥员鲁迪科上校。是他当初为了避免麻烦，才匆匆忙忙下令逮捕你的。他现在穿着便服，戴着高贵的礼帽，伊然一个学者，一个受尊重的人！一也可能遇到你原来的侦查员，就是在侦讯中打过你，把你关进臭虫房的那个。他现在领取着优厚的养老金。例如赫瓦特，审讯并杀死伟大的瓦维洛夫的人，他现在就住在高尔基大部。上帝呀，再别让我们遇见这种人吧！因为这只会打击我们的心灵，而他们倒是无动于衷的。 还有可能遇到你的告密者。就是那个送你进监狱的人。他现在也飞黄腾达了。天火雷电并没有惩罚他！那些回到故乡的囚犯必然会遇到告密陷害自己的人。有些心直口快的人愤愤不平地出主意说："喂，你上法院去告他！单单为了让他在公众面前现现原形也好嘛！"（也确实如此而已，不可能有更大的指望。现在大家都懂得这一点了……）但是已经恢复名誉的人只好回答说："唉，算了吧……唉，行啦……" 因为对这种案件的审判是朝着那个需要套上一百头牛拉的方向的。 阿维尼尔?鲍里索夫不耐烦地摆摆手说："让生活去惩罚他们吧！" 也只能这样。 作曲家赫某对肖斯塔科维奇说："这位勒女士是我们协会的会员，当初就是她把我送进监狱的。"肖斯塔科维奇激动地说；"你写份控诉材料，我们把她从音乐家协会开除出去！"（想得可好！）赫某却连忙摆手说："噢，不！谢谢吧！当初揪着我这把胡子在地上拖来拖去。我可不想再来一次！"一 哪里还谈得上什么报复？格?波列夫诉苦说："原先把我关进监狱的那个坏蛋，在我被释放之后差一点儿又把我关进去！幸亏我及时地抛掉了家庭，离乡出走了，不然，说不定真就把我关进去了！" 拉就是我们国内的做法！这就是苏维埃式的做法2 什么叫做恶梦？什么叫做海市蜃接？这一切究竟是过去？or now? ... 一九五五年，埃夫罗伊姆逊来找苏联副总检察长萨林，把一大本控告李森科的刑事控诉状递交给这位副总检察长。但萨林对他说："我们无权受理这个案件，请你去找党中央。" 苏联的检察长们从什么时候起变得无权受理案件了呢？或者说，他们为什么不早三十年变得无权受理呢？ 洛佐夫斯基和谢廖金两人现在都很阔绰，就是他二人作伪证把丘尔佩涅夫送进蒙古地牢的。丘尔佩涅夫获释后，约了一位共同在军队服役过的熟人一起到莫斯科市苏维埃大楼中的生活服务部办公室去找谢廖金。那位共同的朋友对谢廖金说。"让我来介绍一下吧，这位是和咱们在哈勒欣河一起战斗过的，记得他吧？""不，不记得。""他是丘尔佩涅夫。你不记得这个人？""不。不记得。战争把大家都冲散了。""你难道不知道这个人后来的遭遇？""我不懂你这话是什么意思、""啊！你真是个坏蛋，下流坯！" 也只能说这些！他们告到谢廖金所属的党的区委员会，两人听到的回答则是："这不可能！谢廖金的工作一直是很认真负责的。 他会认真负责地工作！ ... 一切事情照旧，一切人也都照旧。雷声轰隆过一阵子，并没有落下几个雨点。 一切都照旧。以至于研究北方民族语言的专家克雷诺维奇吸释放后又回到同一个研究所的同一个研究室，还同那些当年把他关进去的、仇恨他的人在一起工作。他还是要每天来上班。脱下外衣，同这些人坐在一起讨论。 这就好比把奥斯威辛死亡营的牺牲者和过去的警卫队长们放在一起开个杂货铺一样． 文学界也有大告密者。埃尔斯贝格和列秀切夫斯基之流害死了多少人啊？ !谁都了解这两个人，可谁也不敢碰他们，曾经策划过把他们赶出作家协会。白费力！更不必说撤销他们的职务了。根本谈不到开除出党。 一九二六年制定我国刑法典时，就认为用诽谤杀人要比用刀杀人的罪责轻得多，应该宽恕，所以对这种罪的量刑只相当于用刀杀人的五分之一。（是的，哪能没想在无产阶级专政条件下还会有人利用"诽谤"这种资产阶级手段呢！）其中第九十五条规定：对于有意诬告，提供伪证，并有：①对严重罪行的指控；②抱有私利目的；③伪造罪证行为的人，处以……两年以下的徒刑。也许就只判六个月。 起草这一条文的人要么是白痴，要么就是非常有远见的。 我认为他们是很有远见的。 从那时起，每次大赦（一九四五年的斯大林大赦，一九五三年的"伏罗希洛夫"大赦）都没有忘记把这一条包括进去。他们当然关心自己那些积极分子们嘛！ 另外，不是还有个"时效"问题吗！如果说别人（根据第五十八条）诬告了你，那就不论"时效"了。而如果你诬告了别人，那么可以应用"时效"这一条，我们要保护自己人呀。 安娜?切博塔尔一特卡奇一家的案件是由彻头彻尾的假证词制造的。一九四四年，安娜本人，她的父亲和她的两个哥哥同时被捕，罪状是什么"杀害未婚妻"，而且是"政治性"杀害。三个男人全在狱中被折磨死了（都没有招供），安娜在狱中被关了十年。而那个被"杀害"的未婚妻竟是安然无恙。安娜出狱后要求复审并恢复名誉，又花了整整十年。甚至到了一九六四年，检察长对她的答复仍是："你被判罪是正确的。复审没有根据。"后来终于给安娜恢复了名誉。这时，不知疲倦的斯克里普尼科娃替安娜写了一份控诉状，要求追究伪证者的法律责任。苏联检察长格?捷列霍夫对此诉状的答复是：鉴于时效，此案无法追诉…… 二十年代曾经把一些在四十年前根据沙皇法庭的判决处决过民意党人的无知庄稼汉搜索出来，揪到法院，判处枪决。那些庄稼人不是自己人，对他们不必讲"时效"。今天的告密者是与自己血肉相连的嘛！ 囚犯们获释后来到的自由社会，就是这个样子。多少众所周知的、令人发指的罪行没有受到审判，没有受到惩罚呀！历史上难道能找到这种先例吗？ 既然如此，还有什么好东西可期待呢？从这种恶臭中能生长出什么东西来呢？ 古拉格群岛这个恶毒的主意结出了多么丰硕的果实啊！