Chapter 34 Bouquet for Algernon - Anti-Intellectual State

Bouquet for Algernon - Anti-Intellectual State "June 24th" Today I seem to be in an anti-intellectual state.If I had the guts, I'd get drunk to paralyze myself, but I didn't, because the last time I was with Fay, I was alerted that I might make a dangerous move, so I gave up and walked to Times Square instead. .I was the same as before, wandering in different movie theaters, putting myself in different time and space backgrounds, returning to the era of western reclamation for a while, and melting into horror movies for a while.Every time I switch to a different movie theater and sit in a different scene, I will be whipped halfway by the nameless guilt, and I will go from one movie theater to another throughout the day.I think, in fact, I want to find the missing things in my new life from the virtual scenes on the screen.However, walking outside the 'Kino Entertainment Center', it dawned on me that I didn't really want to see the movie, just the company of the audience -- in total darkness.

There, the distance between people is very narrow, separated only by a thin and low wall, and I can clearly feel what is going on around me, as long as I hold my breath and listen.The same is true of Greenwich Village, which Fee mentioned.However, this situation is not caused by people being very close to each other-because I don't feel that way in a crowded elevator or on the subway during rush hour-but it is like people going out to cool off on a hot summer night, or The feeling of going to the theater to pass the time.Crowds passing each other or sitting next to each other will cause the friction sound of clothes and temples, which makes people feel a breath of life.Or, it might be said that I was so hungry that I had to go to the corner store in the dark to find something to eat.

Usually, when I return to the apartment after walking outside, I will just fall into the bed and have a deep sleep.However, I didn't do that tonight, I went out to dinner before going home.There was a new dishwasher in the restaurant, about sixteen years old.I seem to see something very familiar from him.His demeanor and eyes made me feel familiar. Today, when he was clearing the table behind me, he accidentally dropped some dishes, scattered some debris on the floor, and some china shavings flew under the table.When he saw something dropped, he stood there at a loss, staring blankly at the empty tray in a daze.All kinds of noises among customers (like hi! Those are valuable things! ... He's only just been here-these are the inevitable words that will appear after something like this happens in the restaurant.) It made him feel more at a loss, not knowing what to do. know what to do.

When the owner of the restaurant heard the sound and came to see what happened, the boy quickly raised his arm to cover his head, as if he was afraid of being beaten, and looked very cowering. "Okay, okay, you idiot, don't stand there like a fool, motionless!" The restaurant owner roared loudly, ignoring everyone's gaze. "Go get the broom and clean it up. Broom! Go get the broom! Do you understand? You idiot, the broom is in the kitchen, go get it!" After the boy realized that he would not be punished, the expression of panic and fear on his face also disappeared.When he came back with the broom, he had turned to smile and hummed a song, looking relaxed and happy.At this time, some customers refused to stop talking about it, and made fun of the boy at the same time.

"Little brother, there are some fragments here, and there are some behind you." "Hey! How about one more time?" "Hey! Isn't he stupid! He's good at breaking dishes, and he's not so good at washing dishes!" The boy looked around timidly at the customer who made fun of him, his eyes were empty and blank, revealing that he did not understand the real meaning behind the customer's laughter, but even so, he returned the customer's laughter with a smile on the corner of his mouth. Seeing this scene in the restaurant—the boy's blank eyes, blank expression, uncertain smile, and eagerness to please the customer—made me sick and sick.Now, I know why I thought he looked so familiar just now. It turned out that he was mentally handicapped, and customers made fun of him because of this.

At first I didn't know, and I laughed along with other customers, but then I suddenly found out the truth, I couldn't help being angry with myself and other customers, and at the same time, I wanted to help the boy pick up the dropped plate and throw it at everyone to make fun of His people smashed their mocking faces one by one.I finally couldn't help but jumped up and yelled at them: "Shut up! Stop laughing at him! He doesn't understand you at all, and he doesn't know himself... Forget it, for God's sake , Respect and respect him, he is also a real person."

The whole restaurant suddenly fell into silence.I didn't expect that I would lose control and cause this kind of scene, so I couldn't help but cursed myself a few times, paid the order without touching it, and didn't dare to look back at the boy again, feeling deeply sorry and for myself Regretted his reckless impulse. Humans are a strange animal, sensitive and frank, who don't take advantage of the handicapped, yet think it's okay to make fun of the mentally handicapped.I thought that I was like that boy not long ago, but now I have almost forgotten about it, and unknowingly followed other people to laugh at that boy. This hurts me the most, because it is tantamount to laughing at myself.

I often read the progress reports written in the early days. Those reports are full of mistakes and full of immature words.Looking at it now, I was like a mentally handicapped person hiding in a dark room, peeping through the keyhole to the colorful world outside, and my eyes were barely opened by the flickering light.In dreams and memories, I saw that although Charlie had an uncertain smile on his face and listened happily to the people around him, he could still judge from his slow thinking that he was inferior and lacked a quality to be accepted by others.At that time, my mind was immature, and I always thought that this kind of trait was reading and writing. As long as I can learn it, my wisdom will also increase.

Therefore, mentally retarded people also want to keep pace with others, just like young children who don't know how to feed themselves, but still know what it means to be hungry. Anyway, today's experience was invaluable to me and I learned a lot from it, so I no longer worry about my past and future.I want to give more to others. I must make good use of my knowledge and skills to contribute to human wisdom. After all, who is more suitable than me?Who like me once lived in two completely different worlds? Tomorrow, I intend to contact the trustees of the Weinberg Foundation to ask them to let me do some independent work in this research project.If they agree, perhaps I can be of some use to them.Now, I have this idea in my mind.

If the technology studied is perfected, the effect should be very good, and all aspects will be improved.If I can be turned into a genius, can the other five million or so mentally handicapped people in the United States be too?There are also countless mentally handicapped people all over the world and newborns who are destined to be mentally handicapped before birth, is it also possible?What would be the result if this method were applied to normal people or geniuses?Thinking of this, I feel that I must find a way to let the people of the Foundation understand how important this matter is.I believe that after they understand it, they will definitely agree to my plan.

However, if this project is going to take place, I can no longer be alone, and I am going to talk to Alice about it.