Chapter 26 Bouquet for Algernon - Chill

Bouquet for Algernon - Chill "June 8th" What is the impetus that drives me out of the apartment and into the city?I have walked through countless streets alone, but I still can't find the reason. Although I want to walk comfortably in the cool summer night breeze, I don't know why I am in a hurry, as if I want to go somewhere as soon as possible-a place I don't know the goal at all .Walking out along the alleyway and looking into the half-opened windows of other people's houses, I suddenly had the urge to talk to someone, but at the same time I was afraid of contact with people.Walking through one street after another, passing through one neon light after another, I seem to be wandering in a maze, I don't know where the way out is, what am I looking for in this city?

Coming to Central Park, I met a woman.She was sitting on a bench by the lake, wrapped in a coat despite the heat.Seeing me, she smiled and beckoned me to sit next to her.Together we looked up at the bright skyline above Central Park.The lights revealed by the high-rise buildings are like closely connected honeycombs, making the sky darker.I want to swallow them all. I told the woman that I lived in New York too, but had never been to Newport, Virginia, where she lived.There she started a family, married a sailor, and had not seen her husband for two and a half years. As she told the story, she twisted her hand hat and wiped the sweat from her forehead from time to time.Although the light reflected from the lake is very faint, it can still be seen that her makeup is very heavy.However, her appearance is indeed very attractive, with long hair flowing down her shoulders, but her face looks a little puffy, as if she just woke up.She wanted to talk to someone about herself, and I wanted to hear it.

She was the only daughter of a wealthy builder, and her father gave her everything he could, including a comfortable home and a good education, but he would not forgive her for running away with the sailor. As she spoke, she held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. "The night Gary and I got married, I was still a virgin, and I was so overwhelmed by his violent behavior that he had to beat me to calm me down. Later, we didn't have sex, but he still Hold me to sleep. However, from now on, I will not allow him to touch me again, that is the only time we are together." She whispered in my ear.

I had never been shaken so intimately by anyone before, so I was shaking a lot.She probably knew from my trembling hands that I was scared, but she held them tighter, as if she was afraid that I would walk away and not listen to her finish.I seemed important to her.I sat and listened to her as if I were squatting in front of a bird to feed it. "It's not that I don't like men." Her eyes were wide open, as if she wanted me to believe what she said. "I've been with other men, but not him, a lot of them. Most men are gentle with women, they make love softly, they caress and kiss girls first." She looked at me seriously, her hands kept going back and forth touch my hands.

These are the things I've heard, read and dreamed about.She was a stranger, but she talked to me about these things. I didn't know her last name or name, and she didn't ask me.She just wants me to take her to a place where she can be alone.I thought to myself, what would Alice think if she found out. I stroked and kissed her in a very strange way, very hesitant.She felt it, raised her head and asked me softly: "What's wrong with you? What are you thinking?" "Miss you." "Do you know where I can go?" Things have progressed to the point of walking on thin ice, and I don't know when I will lose my mind and fall into the river of anxiety.There seemed to be a force behind me pushing me forward, testing my steps.

"If you don't know where to go, the Manor Hotel on Fifty-third Street is not expensive. Maybe you can consider that if you pay the hotel fee first, you can store your luggage for free." "I have my own room..." "That's better." Her eyes were different from before, and now she was full of admiration. So far, I've had no anxiety, just curiosity.I don't know when I will fall into the vortex of anxiety.Maybe it will start when we are alone in the room; it may be when she undresses; or after I see her naked body; of course, it may be in bed with her.

I was suddenly anxious to know if I would propose to a girl, would it end up like any other man?This matter is very important, it is not enough to have wisdom and knowledge, I also have needs.Right now, I have a strong urge to unwind and unwind, so I should be fine in that regard. I kissed her again, wanting to communicate with her more physically, and a strong sense of excitement hit me, which made me more convinced that I should be normal with her.Unlike Alice, she was the kind of woman who was always surrounded by men. However, her tone later became a little hesitant. "Before we start, there is one thing I want to state first," she said, stepping forward to the light and pulling off her coat.I was slightly taken aback by her protruding figure, which was completely different from what I saw when we sat side by side in the dark just now. "It's only five months. It won't affect us. I don't think you mind, do you?"

She stood there with her coat open, oppressing me as if overlapping with the previous image of the middle-aged woman who had just emerged from the shower and exposed her body to Charlie.I felt as if the gods were waiting to curse me there, I couldn't look her in the face, so I quickly looked away.I had no idea it would turn out like this.However, I should have judged that something was wrong from the fact that she was still wrapped in a coat in the heat. "It's not my husband's," she wanted me to believe, "and I haven't told you half a lie. My husband is a sailor and I haven't seen him for years. This kid is the one I met eight months ago. We lived together, but now I don't want to see him anymore, I really want to keep this child. Just be careful, don't move too violently or too rudely and you will be fine. Don't worry."

I replied, "This is dirty, you should be ashamed of what you did!" Seeing how angry I was, she pulled away and buttoned up her coat to hide the contents of her stomach. I seem to see another double scene from her self-protection actions: when my mother was pregnant with my sister, she no longer tried to protect me as before, driving away those who laughed at me as abnormal; Warm me with soft voices, touches and hugs as often as before. Then, suddenly, she screamed.I don't know what happened.I think, probably I grabbed her shoulder unconsciously, scaring her.I came back to reality, aware of the seriousness of the situation, and wanted to tell her that I had no intention of hurting anyone, and I never hurt anyone.

"Please don't scream, okay?" But she still kept on screaming.Then I heard footsteps escaping into the darkness.I think she seriously misunderstood me.I also ran away quickly, and plunged into the dark to find the exit of the park, but after going back and forth, I couldn't find it as I wished.I am not familiar with the park at all.Then, suddenly, I hit something and bounced me back.Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a barbed wire fence blocking the way.There was something dangling and hanging in the wall, which turned out to be a children's playground, which was closed at night.I continued along the fence at a near trot pace, stumbling a few times in the tangle of roots.The playground is surrounded by a small lake, and I walked back and forth several times in it but still couldn't find the exit.Later, I discovered that there was a trail across the bridge.After walking over, I still didn't see the exit, but I heard someone talking nearby.

"What happened? The lady." "Have you met a madman?" "Are you OK?" "Which way is he running?" After a while of slamming, I returned to the previous position.I quickly hid behind a big rock, and I couldn't help but feel a rather uncomfortable spasm in my stomach. "Go get the police on patrol! Whenever you need them, they're always gone!" "What happened?" "A madman wanted to rape her." "Someone is already chasing that way. He ran over there." "Quick, catch him before he escapes the park!" "Be careful! He has something like a knife or a gun on him." Obviously, the woman's scream must have been carried elsewhere through the night sky, because I clearly heard the echo of the "he ran over there" in the conversation echoing behind me.Moreover, I also saw a lonely night traveler under a street lamp being chased into the dark from behind the rock.Soon, another person disappeared into the shadows before the rock where I was invisible.At that time, I seemed to see myself being chased and beaten by restless gangsters, but I was not angry at all. Instead, I felt that I deserved it and someone should teach me a lesson. I stood up, brushed the leaves and dust off my clothes, and walked slowly in the direction I came from.With every step I take, I hope someone will pounce on me from behind, drag me into the shadows, and give me a good beating.But after a while, I saw the lights coming from the intersection of Fifty-ninth Street and Fifth Avenue.I followed the lights out of the park. Now, even though I have returned to my residence, in a secluded and safe corner, I still have lingering fears, and I am a little out of my wits from the wild imagination just now.When I think about what my mother was like before pregnancy, I actually get scared.Why did I expect to be chased and beaten just now?Thinking of this, I am even more afraid.How can I feel guilty?Memories of the past are like a deep force, grabbing my legs, trying to pull me down hard.I opened my lips to shout, but no sound came out, my hands just kept shaking.I only felt a chill all over my body, and the buzzing sound from far and near began to ring in my ears again.