Chapter 12 Bouquet for Algernon - Haunting

Bouquet for Algernon - Haunting "April 18th" I learned what is called Rorschach's test, which is the ink dot test I had done before the operation.As soon as I knew I was going to take this quiz today, I started to get scared because I knew Burt would tell me to find the pictures in it, and I couldn't find them.I wonder if this quiz is asking me to find the pictures in it, or if there are no pictures in it, just a ploy to see if I'm stupid enough to find pictures that don't exist.Thinking of this, I couldn't help showing Bert a dirty face. "Come on, Charlie, you've seen these pictures before!" Burt said.

"Yeah! I remember." Burt knew that I was very angry by the way I spoke, and his face was surprised. "What's the matter, Charlie." "It's nothing, it's just uncomfortable looking at these ink pictures." He shook his head with a smile and said, "It's nothing, it's just a standard personality test, don't worry. Now look at these cards and think about what might be in there? Tell me what you see? What everyone sees may All different. Tell me what these cards make you think of?" I stared at the card in horror, and then at him, not expecting him to say that at all. "You mean there's no picture in the dots?"

Burt frowned and took off his glasses, "What did you say?" "Pictures! The pictures inside the ink dots! Last time you said that everyone can see that there are pictures in them, and you want me to find them like them." "Charlie, I never said anything like that." "What did you say?" I snarled at him.I got angry because I was afraid to see the cards, and I also lost my temper with Bert. "That's what you said last time. You can't tease me like this just because you're a college student and smart enough. I hate when everyone laughs at me!"

I don't remember being angry like this before, and it wasn't because of Burt, but I felt like everything was going to explode.I dropped the quiz card on the table and walked out.When passing through the corridor, I hurriedly passed by Professor Nima without saying a word to him. He knew there must be a problem, so he chased after Bert and stopped me when I was about to take the elevator. "Charlie," Nima grabbed my arm, "wait, what's going on?" I broke away from his hand, shook my head at Burt and said, "I hate that everyone is playing tricks on me, that's all. It was better not knowing, but now I know, it feels uncomfortable."

"Nobody here is playing tricks on you, Charlie," Nima said. "What's the matter with the ink dot card? Last time Burt said there was a picture in it, everyone could see it, I..." "Charlie, would you like to hear exactly what Bert asked last time, and how you answered it yourself? We have the tapes of the test, which can be played to you, and you can listen to the complete record at that time." I followed them back to the psychology laboratory with mixed emotions, fearing that they would cheat me again when I was not paying attention.At that time, I was very excited and angry, I couldn't control my emotions for a while, and I really wanted to find someone to have a big fight.

As Nirmur looked for the tapes in the files, Bert explained to me, "Last time I said almost exactly the same thing as today. We have the same procedure for taking these tests." "I don't believe it until I hear it." The two of them exchanged glances.I felt my face turn red again.Both of them were laughing at me.Then I suddenly understood what I had just said, and why they were looking at each other like that.They're not laughing at me, they're doing that because they know the reason for my mood swings, I've progressed to another level, and doubt and anger at everything around them are the initial reactions of this stage.

At this time, Bert's voice floated out of the tape: "Charlie, now look at these cards and think about what might be inside? Tell me what you see? Everyone sees things differently. Tell me what these cards make you think of..." The words on the tape were the same as what I had just heard in the lab, and the tone was the same, but the innocence of my answers was beyond belief.I slumped on the chair beside Nima's table. "Is that really me?" Later, Burt and I went back to the lab to continue testing.We proceeded slowly, and this time my answer was different from the last time.I can "see" something in the dot, a pair of bats fighting each other, two people dancing with swords.I imagined all kinds of things, but even so, I still didn't dare to trust Bert completely, so I kept flipping through the cards beside me, trying to find out if there was anything I didn't see in the back.

As Bert looked down to take notes, I took a peek, but only saw symbols like this: WF+A DdFAd oring. WF-A SF+obj I still don't think this quiz makes much sense, as if anyone can make something out of nothing and lie about something that doesn't exist.Also, how do they know that I'm not imagining at all, I'm just making up something to scare them. About all this, I think I may understand when Dr. Strauss starts to make me read psychology books. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to write my thoughts and feelings smoothly into a progress report because I know someone else is reading it.

Maybe I will keep it for a while after writing and not let others see it, so I will feel more exposed.I'm going to ask Dr. Strauss what's going on, I'm already starting to be bothered by these questions.