Chapter 32 31

31 I am cleaning the apartment.It took me two days to pull myself together to face this, but finally got to work.I have to clean layer by layer.First, the layer of garbage on the face.I started with Ainsley's room, stuffing everything she left behind into a few cardboard boxes: half-empty cosmetic bottles, used lipstick, stacks of newspapers and magazines on the floor, and I was still in her room. A few shriveled banana peels were found under the bed, as well as clothes she didn't want.Things that I myself want to throw away are also stuffed into these cardboard boxes. With the clutter cleared from the floors and furniture, I proceeded to dust everything that was visible, including the moldings and tops on the doors and window sills.Then I sweep the floor, sweep it and then scrub it hard before finally waxing it.The layer of dirt removed was astonishing: it was as if a shell had been peeled off.After that I washed the dishes and the curtains in the kitchen.After doing this, I stopped for lunch.I'll tackle the fridge after lunch.It's appalling to see what's accumulating in the freezer, and I haven't had a look.Just hold those bottles and jars up to the light in your hand, and you'll know it's better not to open them.You can see all kinds of fluff growing densely on all kinds of different things in it, and I can totally imagine what it would smell like.I carefully put these things into the garbage bag one by one.I used an ice pick to remove the frost that had formed in the freezer. I found that although the thick layer of ice looked soft on the surface, it was as hard as a rock underneath. I had no choice but to let it melt. to pry it off.

I was just cleaning the windows when the phone rang.It was Duncan calling.I couldn't help being a little surprised, I almost forgot about him. "Hello?" he asked. "What's the matter?" "It's over," I said, "and I realize that Peter is trying to destroy me. So now I'm looking for another job." "Oh," said Duncan. "Actually, I didn't ask that. I wanted to know about Fish." "Oh," I said.In fact, I should have thought of this earlier. "I mean, I guess I knew about that, but how it could have happened, I really don't understand.

You know, he shirked all his responsibilities. " "His responsibility? You mean the graduate program?" "No," Duncan said. "I mean his responsibility to me. What shall I do?" "Then I don't know," I said.He doesn't care about my affairs at all, which makes me very angry.Since I now have to think of myself again in the first-person singular, I am far more interested in my own affairs than in his troubles. "Ah, ah," said Duncan, "we can't both talk like that. When one is lost and upset, the other should listen patiently to his problems in a sympathetic manner. Last time you weren't in a daze Are you in a trance?"

Don't hold back, I thought, you can't win. "Oh well, come over for a cup of tea later, okay? I've made a mess here," I added apologetically. I was still cleaning the windows when he came, standing on a chair to wipe the spray off the glass.We haven't cleaned the windows for a long time, and they are covered with dust. I feel a little curious when I think that I can see the scenery outside after cleaning.The trouble is that there is still some dirt outside the window, which I can't reach, it's the traces left by oily smoke and raindrops.I didn't hear Duncan come in. He may have been standing in the room watching me clean the windows for several minutes before he said, "Here I am."

I was taken aback. "Oh, here you come," I said, "and I'll come down when I clean this window, and it'll be right away." He goes to the kitchen. I tore off a sleeve from a shirt that Ainsley had thrown away, gave the window one last wipe with it, and jumped out of the chair.I was a little bit reluctant--I didn't want to quit anything once I started, and there were a few windows left to wipe, and Fish Smythe's love life wasn't a big deal. Walking into the kitchen, I found Duncan sitting in a chair, looking out at the open refrigerator door, with a look of disgust and unease on his face.

"What smells so bad in the room?" he asked, sniffing his nose. "Smell, all sorts of things," I replied casually. "Floor wax, window cleaner, something else." I went over and opened the window. "Would you like tea or coffee?" "Whatever," he said. "Well, what's going on?" "You must have heard that they are married." Making tea was relatively simple, but after rummaging around in the cupboard for a while, I couldn't find the tea leaves, so I had to scoop some coffee into the coffee pot. "Well, yes, you know a little bit. Fish left us a note, and it's vague and confusing. What's the matter?"

"Aren't these things all the same? They met at the party," I said.I pressed the button for the coffee pot and sat down.I originally wanted to not talk too much with him, but he has already put on a look of being deeply wronged. "Of course there are still some troublesome things, but I think they can all be solved." Ainsley came back last night after disappearing for a long time. She packed all her things into several suitcases, and Fei What, he sat on the couch in the living room and waited. He leaned his head on the sofa cushion, closed his eyes, and raised his beard high, showing a manly appearance.Ainsley spoke to me in a hurry. She told me that they were going to Niagara Falls for their honeymoon, and that she thought Fish would be a "very good father." the original words.

I told Duncan as much as I could.He didn't seem sad or happy or even surprised by these things. "Well," he said, "I think it's a good thing for Fish. You can't live in a fantasy forever. But Trevor was sad enough. He had a nervous headache, went to bed, and even I wouldn't get up and cook. Which means I'll have to move out sooner or later. You've heard how devastating a broken home can be, and I don't want my personality to be twisted." "I hope Ainsley will be happy." I mean it.To my delight, she finally proved that I had been right in my almost superstitious belief in her ability to take care of herself: a confidence that had been shaken recently. "At least she got everything she wanted," I said, "and I guess that's pretty good."

"Thrown into the world again," said Duncan thoughtfully.He bit his thumb. "I don't know what's going to happen to me." He didn't seem very enthusiastic about the question. Speaking of Ainsley reminds me of Leonard.I called Clara shortly after hearing the news of Ainsley's marriage and asked her to tell Len not to hide anymore, but to come out.Clara called me back later. "I'm worried about him," she said. "He shouldn't have worried any more, but he didn't feel relieved. I thought he was going back right away, but he said he didn't want to go.He just didn't dare to go out, and he was very happy to stay in Arthur's room all day long.The kids adore him most of the time and honestly I would love to have someone around to babysit the kids for me, but the problem is he wants to play with all of Arthur's toys and they sometimes To quarrel.He never went to work, nor did he call to inform the company that he is now living with me.If he keeps going on like this, I really don't know what to do. "Nevertheless, it was clear from her tone that she was much more capable than usual.

There was a bang in the refrigerator, like a metal impact.Startled, Duncan pulled his thumb out of his mouth. "what sound?" "Oh, I think it's an ice cube that fell," I said. "I'm defrosting the fridge." The coffee is brewing and the aroma is coming out.I put two cups on the table and filled them with coffee. "Hey, are you able to eat again?" Duncan asked me after a moment of silence. "Indeed I can eat again," I said. "I had steak for lunch." I said that last sentence with some pride.It still astonishes me that I should have dared to attempt such a thing, and succeeded.

"Oh, that's all right," Duncan said.He was looking at me for the first time since he came in. "You look much better, too. Look at you beaming and happy. How did you come to be like this?" "I told you on the phone," I said. "You mean the things Peter was going to destroy you for?" I nod. "That's ridiculous," he said gravely. "Peter didn't intend to destroy you. It was just your own imagination. It was you who wanted to destroy him." My heart sank. "Really?" I asked. "You reflect on it," he said, looking at me hypnotically from his hair-shaded eyes.He took two sips of his coffee, paused to let me think for a moment, and then continued, "But, really, it's not about Peter at all. It's about me. I'm trying to destroy you." I smile nervously. "Stop saying that." "Well," he said, "happy to obey. Maybe Peter wants to ruin you, maybe I want to ruin you, or we both want to ruin each other, so what? What does it matter?" What? You've returned to the so-called real life, you're a destroyer." "By the way," I remembered, "would you like some cake?" There was half a body and head left on the plate. He nodded.I fetched him a fork and removed the leftover cake from the plate on the rack. I peeled off the plastic wrap covering the outside. "It's mainly the head," I said. "I didn't know you could make a cake," he said after forking a piece and eating it. "It's almost as good as Trevor's." "Thank you," I said modestly. "I'd love to cook when I have the time." I sat and watched the cake disappear into his mouth, first the smiling pink lips, then the nose and one eye.In a moment there was only one last green eye in that face; in a blink of an eye it was gone.He started eating his hair. Watching him eat the cake gave me special satisfaction, as if my hard work had paid off, even though he didn't yell or even show any obvious expression as he ate the cake.I smiled happily at him. He wasn't smiling at me; he was preoccupied with eating. He scraped off the last of the chocolate curls with a fork and pushed the plate away. "Thanks," he said, licking his lips. "Really tasty." Postscript Margaret Atwood (Margaret Atwood), born in Tittawa in 1939, is a Canadian writer of international acclaim.She spent her childhood in Ontario and northern Quebec. She graduated from the University of Toronto in 1961 and received a Master of Arts degree from Harvard University.She later taught at several Canadian universities and worked as an editor.Since the mid-1960s, she has created a large number of poems and novels, and has published 25 collections of poems, novels, short stories and literary criticism, and has made outstanding achievements. Her works have won the Governor General’s Literary Award of Canada, "Sunday Times") 1993 Best Writer Award, Arthur Clarke Science Fiction Award, British Booker Prize nomination and Canadian Giller Literary Award, etc., she received twelve honorary degrees and was awarded the French Order of Letters and Arts. As a female writer, most of Atwood's novels are based on women's life.She cares about the fate of women in modern society. Most of the main characters in the novel are professional women. When these women's inherent concepts are impacted, they have to re-evaluate themselves and adjust their views. (The Edible Woman) is Atwood's first novel.The novel is light-hearted, humorous and in many ways comic, but its subject matter is very serious. The book explores the status of women in modern society. In 1969, after the novel was published, it immediately attracted the attention of literary critics.At that time, the Women's Liberation Movement happened to sweep across the Western world, and many critics pointed out that it was a work of feminist protest literature.Although the author pointed out in the preface she wrote for this book in 1979 that the feminist movement had not yet risen when she wrote the book, the content shown in this novel does reflect the reality of Western society. The heroine of the novel, Marianne, is a college-educated young woman. On the surface, her work and love life seem to be relatively smooth, but there is always a feeling of confusion deep in her heart. Feeling that you have no control over your own destiny, whether in your professional life or your married life.The author cleverly expresses this invisible pressure in her spirit through her appetite.As the marriage approached, Marianne gradually became unable to eat normally and became increasingly mentally broken.At the end of the story, she is determined to get rid of everything that society has imposed on her. Just before the wedding, she bakes a cake in the shape of a woman and dedicates this "eatable woman" to her fiancé as her substitute, thereby A clean break with everything from the past. Atwood has a strong interest in eating and once edited a cookbook herself.In interpreting the pressure that traditional society puts on women, the author uses the basic activity of human existence "eating" as a symbol.From the point of view of modern medicine, certain diseases of the human body are indeed related to psychological problems.In Atwood's pen, eating is cleverly used as a metaphor for the subtle status differences and power relations between men and women.Marianne used to eat normally, but after she got engaged to her boyfriend Peter, she had eating problems.As her wedding drew closer, she subconsciously felt the danger of assimilation, and her body rejected more and more food, almost to the point of being unable to eat.Marianne's loss of the ability to eat normally is an outward manifestation of her loss of self. It can be said that her physical resistance to food is just a subconscious resistance to the status of women in reality.As Duncan, another character in the book, said: "Maybe you represent a kind of rebellious psychology of modern youth against the existing system..." Thus, after Marianne breaks off with Peter at the end of the book, her appetite returns to normal.Thus, Marianne's dilemma as a woman is nothing more than a reflection of the problems faced by everyone in that commercial society. The book ends with the cake "the woman who can eat", which undoubtedly has an allegorical color.In fact, Atwood also used plots related to eating in her later works as a metaphor for women's social status. Except for Marianne, although the descriptions of several secondary characters in the novel are not much, they are quite wonderful. The two men closest to Marianne are her fiancé Peter and graduate student Duncan. The former is a "successful" male image in the traditional sense, but Marian subconsciously feels that he cannot bear his control; the latter is thin and eccentric, but Marian feels more comfortable getting along with him.In addition, among several other female characters, there are self-centered "modern" women everywhere, and young mothers struggling with family chores.There are also several working women whose main interest is finding a suitable husband, and in this respect they do not seem to be very different from some of the female figures commonly found in nineteenth-century British novels. Atwood's writing is relaxed and humorous, and the description of the characters is extremely vivid.The structure of the book is also quite distinctive. The first part of the book is narrated in the first person, and the story is told through the mouth of Marianne herself.But in the second part, which takes up most of the book, the third person is used instead, and the author makes the description.In the short few pages of the third part, it returns to the first-person perspective. This change of perspective adds interest to the whole book.Because of this, it has been widely praised after its publication and has become one of Atwood's most representative works.