Chapter 16 15

15 The next day at half past four in the afternoon.Marian walked the hospital corridors, looking for Clara's room.She didn't rest at noon, but just asked the hotel to send a cheese and lettuce sandwich for lunch. This thing was packed in a cardboard box, but it was just two slices of loose bread with a thin slice of cheese and a few green and white vegetables. Ye, so that she can leave work an hour earlier.It took her half an hour to hurry and buy roses.There were thirty minutes left in the visit, and she wondered if she and Clara would find anything to talk about during the half hour.

The doors of the wards were all open, and she stood in front of them, almost having to step into the room to see the room number.From every room came the shrill voices of women talking.She finally found Clara's room at the end of the corridor. Clara was lying on a high hospital bed covered with white sheets, which was propped up at one end, so that she was in a half-lying, half-sitting position.She was wearing a flannel hospital gown, and her light-colored hair fell loosely on her shoulders. Marianne only thought that her body under the sheets was strangely thin. "Hey, here you go," she said, "Finally to see the old mother, isn't it?"

Marianne hastily stuffed the flowers she had brought, so that she would not have to apologize to her for his recent behavior. With her delicate fingers, Clara unwrapped the green wrapping paper in the shape of a shofar. "It's beautiful," she said. "I'll have to get that goddamn nurse to get some clean water for it, and she'll probably stick these flowers in the bedpan for you if you don't pay attention." In choosing the flowers Marianne hesitated for a moment as to whether she should choose the crimson, the orange, or the white, and now she regretted the white a little.From one point of view, the white rose was almost too suitable for Clara, and from another point of view, white rose was not appropriate at all.

"Draw the curtains a little," Clara whispered.There were three other women living in the ward, and their conversations were obviously easily overheard. Marianne drew the heavy canvas curtain, attached by rings to a bent metal rod, and hung over the bed like a great oval halo, and seated herself in the visitor's chair, she asked: "Hey, how do you feel?" "Oh, that's brilliant, I saw it all the way through, the blood, the mess, it's sloppy enough, but I have to admit it's very interesting. Especially when the little guy sticks his head out and calls you Fascinated, you finally know what a little thing you've been carrying all these days. I waited to see it, I was so excited, it's like when you get a Christmas present when you are a child, you feel anxious and anxious It's like opening it. When I was pregnant I sometimes wished I could hatch my baby out of an egg like a bird, but there is something special about giving birth like this." She picked up a white rose and sniffed it . "You really should try it in the future."

Marianne wondered how she could speak so casually about something like this, as if she was being told how to make a pie crust more fluffy or a new brand of laundry detergent.Naturally, this matter was already in her plan, and it would come sooner or later. Peter had already vaguely mentioned the matter of having a child.But in this ward, where several women lay covered in white sheets, the possibility suddenly seemed so close that she was a little overwhelmed. And there was Ainsley's business. "Don't rush me," she said with a smile. "Of course it will hurt like hell," Clara said complacently. "For the sake of the fetus, the hospital won't give you painkillers until you can't bear it anymore. But it's funny to talk about pain, You don’t remember anything afterward. At the moment I just feel great and I keep wondering if I get postpartum depression like a lot of women do, but it never seems to happen, I guess I’ll have to wait until When I get up and go home, I'm not depressed anymore. It's nice to just lay here, I feel really good." She moved up on the pillow.

Marian just sat there smiling at her, and she could think of no words to answer.Clara's life seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, more and more isolated, like a glass window. "What are you going to name her?" she asked, and she managed not to shout out loud, because she was afraid that Clara might not be able to hear her clearly through the glass. "We haven't decided yet. I kind of want to call her Vivien Lindsay, a combination of my grandma and Jo's grandma, and Jo wants to name her Clara, but I'm not too fond of the name myself." I like it. It's very nice of a husband to not give a damn about having a boy or a girl, and there are a lot of men who don't, but then, after all, Jo's got a son, and he probably wouldn't be so happy about it."

Marianne looked at the wall above Clara's head and thought it was the same color as the office.She almost thought she was going to hear typing from outside the curtain, but no, you just heard the other three women talking under their breath with the people who came to see them.When she entered the ward, she saw one of the younger women, the one in the pink lace blouse, sitting on the bed coloring by number and drawing a picture.Perhaps besides the roses, she should bring something to keep Clara busy. It must be very boring to lie around like this all day. "Shall I bring you some books to show you?" she asked, wondering if she sounded a little like some sorority man.Among the activities of those fraternities is taking time out to visit patients in the hospital.

"Oh, thank you for being so thoughtful. But I'm afraid I really can't concentrate on reading, at least for a day or two. I'm either sleeping, or," she lowered her voice at this point, "listening to those people I don’t know if it’s because of the atmosphere in the hospital, but what they talk about is miscarriages, problems, etc. You will feel uncomfortable when you listen to it, such as breast cancer, ruptured fallopian tubes, four weeks pregnant One of the twins is miscarried in three or four days, and you wonder when these things will come to you. It's true, Mrs. Moss, that big guy in the hospital bed in the corner over there, just met Such things. Goodness, they don't take it seriously when they talk about it. It seems that these bad things are about the same as winning awards for meritorious service. Everyone is busy shaking these things out, comparing each other, and introducing them tirelessly. They are really proud of those bloody details. They are simply showing off their pain triumphantly. Even I can’t help but tell how many times I have suffered from problems, as if I want to compete with them. I really don’t understand how women There will be such a sick mentality.

"Well, I think some men are just as sick," Marianne said.Clara talked much more than usual, and spoke much faster, which Marianne found a little strange.Later in Clara's pregnancy, when she was like a plant, Marianne almost forgot that she was still a thinking person. At that time, she only thought of her friend as a sentient sponge, because most of the time she Everything was sucked in by that big root-like belly.Unexpected to hear her make such observations and comments.This is probably a conditioned reflex, but natural hysteria has nothing to do with it. She seems completely normal, maybe it's just a change in the hormones in her body.

"Well, of course Joe isn't one of them," Clara said cheerfully. "If he's a little bit out of the ordinary, then I'm really out of it. He takes care of the kids, cleans up, and at a time like this Well, I've got nothing to worry about leaving everything to him. I know he'll make the house look as good as I did when I was home. But our Arthur is in a little trouble.Now he can defecate and defecate completely fine, and he uses his plastic spittoon every time, the problem is that he keeps hiding poop all over the place.He crumpled his shit up into little balls and hid them in cupboards and under chests of drawers and stuff, and you had to keep an eye out for him all the time.Once I found some lumps of poop in the refrigerator, and Joe told me he found several hardened lumps on the bathroom windowsill behind the curtains.He wasn't happy to see us throwing those balls away.I don't know why he wants to do that, the little guy might be a banker when he grows up. "

"Do you think it will have something to do with the newborn?" Marianne asked. "Maybe I'm a little jealous." "That might not be the case," Clara smiled serenely.She squeezed a white rose in her hand and turned around. "Well, enough of my business," she said, turning on the bed and facing Marianne, "I haven't had a chance to talk to you about your engagement. Naturally, although we Don't know Peter very well, Joe and I are happy for you." Marianne said, "When you get out of the hospital and rest for a while, we must make an appointment to get together. You will like him." "He didn't really say anything about looks, but you don't really get to know a man until some time after you're married, and that's when you notice some nasty habits or something in him. I remember the first time I realized that Joe wasn't a saint after all. It was so sad. I can't remember exactly what it was, maybe it was something trivial, such as his admiration for Audrey Hepburn, or he secretly Collect stamps below." "What?" asked Marianne, who didn't understand what was going on, but thought the word was odd. "Stamp collecting. It's not really stamp collecting, of course, it's just tearing stamps off envelopes, and you have to get used to it anyway. Now," she said, "I think he's a little bit of a saint. " Marianne didn't know what to say.She found Clara's attitude toward Jo smug and embarrassing, as sentimental as a love story in an outdated women's magazine.She also felt that Clara was trying to advise her in some tactful way, which made her feel more embarrassed.Poor Clara, what good idea could she come up with?come?Look at her own chaotic married life, with three children at a young age.Peter and she will start a new life in a much more practical way.If Clara had slept with Jo before they were married, she would not have been so helpless later in life. "I think Jo's a wonderful husband," she said openly. Clara sneered and frowned. "Hey, fuck you. Didn't you just stab me in the sore spot on purpose. You don't think so, you must think in your heart that the two of us are muddling along, life is a mess, if you were in this messy environment, you would go crazy, you can't understand how we can live like this Go down, not complaining to each other at all. ’ Her tone was not annoyed at all. Marianne quickly denied it, feeling that it was unfair for Clara to insist on making such a statement, but a nurse poked her head in at the door, and she looked at it for a long time, indicating that it was time to visit the patients. "If you want to see the baby," said Clara when Marianne stood up, "you might as well ask someone where the nursery is. You can go there and watch the baby through the glass windows. Newborn babies look pretty much the same, and if you ask Nurse, they will tell you which one is mine. But if it were me, I would not go, there is nothing to see at this time, the red face is full of wrinkles, just like dried plums." "I'll see it later, then," said Marianne. As she walked out the door, it occurred to her that there was something in Clara's manner that showed she wasn't completely relieved, especially the slight frown she had once or twice made, and she didn't know what it was that she was worried about. , and can't stand still and think about it carefully.She felt as if she had escaped from a culvert or cave.She was glad she was different from Clara. Now you can start to sort out the rest.She wanted to find a restaurant nearby to have a quick bite to eat, and after the meal, the rush hour was almost over, so she could rush home to get some clothes.So what would you like to bring, or just two shirts, and if she wanted to take a pleated skirt, that would keep him busy for a while, and besides, she happened to have a dress that needed to be ironed, but she turned to it. Don't think about it, ironing that thing is too complicated. She felt that the next thing would be as bizarre as this afternoon.In the afternoon, Peter called to talk about going out for dinner. They discussed for a long time - she thought it was too long - before deciding which restaurant to go to. It took so much energy, but she had to call Peter back and say, "Honey, I'm sorry, I have some things that I have to do out of the blue, and it looks like we have to put it off until tomorrow, okay?" Naturally, it was very unpleasant, but he couldn't say much, because he had just come here the day before. Of course, the thing that came out of nowhere was completely different. She had received another call today. The caller said, "This is Duncan." "Who" "The guy in the laundry room." "Oh, yes." Now she recognized his voice, but his tone seemed more nervous than usual. "I'm sorry I freaked you out at the movie theater the other day, but I can tell you really want to know what I was eating." "Yes, I'm really curious," she said, looking back at the watch clock, and then at the open door in Mrs. Pogue's cubicle.She's been on the phone for too long this afternoon. "It's pumpkin seeds. You know, I'm quitting smoking and I find it helpful to chew on that stuff, it's a pleasure to pop the seeds into your mouth. I bought them at the pet store, and they're actually for the birds. .” "Oh," she replied while he caught his breath. "That movie sucks." Marianne wondered if the telephone operator downstairs was listening to them, she was known to eavesdrop.What would she think if she was really eavesdropping?At this time, she must have heard that this was not a business call. "Mr. Duncan..." she said in a serious tone, "I'm still at work, and the company can't spend too much time answering calls from outside. Of course, I mean calls from friends." "Oh," he said.The tone was a bit discouraged, but he didn't intend to explain. She imagined his appearance at the moment, he must be frowning, his eye sockets sunken deeply, holding the receiver in his hand, waiting to hear her talk.She didn't know why he was calling him.Maybe I need her, I need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her. "But I'd love to talk to you," she encouraged him. "Come to a more convenient time, please?" "Well," he said, "I have something to ask of you, right now. I mean I need--what I need is some clothes to iron. I must have something to iron. Here's I've ironed everything, even the dishcloths, and I wonder if I can come over to your place and iron some of your clothes." Mrs. Pogue's eyes must be on her now. "Oh, of course," she replied briskly. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she immediately felt that something was wrong. Although she hadn't had time to think about the reasons, she knew that if Peter or Spelly met this person, the consequences would be disastrous.Besides, who knows what kind of mess the house is in right now?In the morning she tiptoed out the door with Lun's tie still open, and Lun was still caught in that sinful tenderness.Ainsley hadn't called her all day either, which either indicated that things were going well or that things were terribly bad.Even if Len managed to slip out the door unharmed, the landlady would probably rage at the innocent boy who came to do the ironing and swear at him as a representative of men. "I'd better get you some clothes," she said. "Then I wish I could use my own iron. I'm used to my own, and it's always hard to use someone else's. But hurry up, please, I'm waiting, and I'm so anxious. " "Okay, I'll come as soon as I get off work," she said, both to reassure him and to tell colleagues in the office that she was going to the dentist. "Around seven." She had just hung up the phone when she remembered that she would not be able to go out to dinner with Peter again, but they could meet any time anyway, and here it was a matter of urgency. After she and Peter settled things, she just felt as if she was trying to get rid of all the tangles of telephone wires in the city.These telephone cords are grippy and tangle-like, and they have a way of wrapping you up like a snake so you can't get out. A nurse came toward her pushing a cart on rubber wheels loaded with trays of food.Though Marianne was preoccupied with other things, she noticed the nurse's white dress and suddenly realized she was in the wrong place.She stopped and looked around. She couldn't figure out where this place was, but she knew one thing, there was no gate.She was only thinking about it, she must have gotten off the elevator before reaching the bottom floor.This corridor is exactly the same as the one upstairs, except that all the doors are closed.She looked at the room number, it was 273.Well, it's very simple, she got out of the elevator on the M floor. She turned and walked back, trying to remember where the elevator was, and she remembered that she seemed to have turned a few corners. The nurse is gone.Another person came towards her from the other end of the corridor, a man in a green smock and a white mask.Only then did she become aware for the first time of the pungent disinfectant smell typical of hospitals. That man must be a doctor.She saw a thin black stethoscope hanging from his neck.When he came up to her, she looked at him intently.Although he was wearing a mask, she felt as if she had seen him somewhere, but the trouble was that she couldn't remember exactly what made her look familiar.But he walked past her with his face fixed on the floor, opened a door on the right and walked in.From his back she noticed that the back of his head was slightly bald. "Well, I don't know anyone who's bald anyway," she said to herself, relieved.