Chapter 10 9

9 I ran along the sidewalk.A minute later, I realized that my feet were moving, and I was very surprised. I didn't understand how I started running, but I still didn't stop. The other three were taken aback, and were at a loss at first.Then Peter yelled, "Marian! What the hell are you going?" I could hear the rage in his voice, the mistake was unforgivable because it was in front of other people. I didn't answer, just turned around and looked back as I ran.Peter and Len ran after me.Then they stopped chasing, and I heard Peter say: "I'm going to drive the car ahead to intercept her, you follow her, don't let her go to the main road." I was a little disappointed when I heard this, and my heart I must have hoped that Peter would run after me, but now it is Len who is struggling to run after me.I turned around and just happened to be an old man coming out of a restaurant slowly, and I almost bumped into him.I looked back again.Ainsley hesitated just now, not knowing which one to go with, but now she hurried towards Peter's direction, and the red and white figure swayed around the corner.

I'm out of breath already, but I'm already a long way ahead, so it's okay to slow down a bit.I regard every lamp post I pass along the way as a signpost, and seeing one lamp post after another being left behind by me seems to give me a sense of accomplishment.Since it was the closing time of the bar and there were still many people on the road, I grinned at them and sometimes waved my hand when I passed them. Seeing their surprised faces, I couldn't help laughing out loud.I was so excited to run so fast, it was like a child playing tag.From behind, Len yelled from time to time, "Hey, Marianne, don't run away?"

Then Peter's car turned the corner in front of me and onto the street, and he must have turned around the block.I thought, okay, he can't stop me, he has to get into the driveway across the road. The car was coming towards me along the other side of the road, but there was a gap in the traffic, and Peter's car slammed forward and made a sharp 180-degree turn.As a result, the car drove to my side and slowed down.I saw Ainsley looking at me from the back window of the car, her expressionless, round face like a moon. Suddenly it wasn't a chase game anymore.The silhouette of the car is menacing like a tank.The fact that Peter didn't run after me, but drove up with his car as if in battle, chilled me too, although it was perfectly logical for him to do so.The car will stop immediately, the door will open... Where am I going?

At this time, I had already passed through the area of ​​shopping malls and restaurants, and came to the houses some distance away from the street. I knew that most of the old and big houses in this area were not used as residences, but were converted into dental clinics and garment workshops. A wrought-iron gate stood wide open, and I slipped through it, onto the gravel path. It must have been some sort of closed club, with an awning over the front door and bright lights in the windows.I hesitated for a moment, hearing Len's footsteps patter on the pavement, and at that moment the door opened.

I can't get caught, I know it's a private residence.I turned and leaped over the low hedge at the edge of the path, across the lawn, and ran quickly into the shadows.I seem to see Lun rushing up the lane and come face-to-face with a group of angry members emerging from the house, who I imagine to be middle-aged women in evening gowns, and feel a momentary pang of guilt.Lun is my friend, but he stood on the opposite side of me, and he has to pay for it. In the shadows by the house I paused to consider.Len was chasing after me, with the house on one side of me and something dark on the other two sides.It was a brick wall connected to the wrought-iron gate ahead.It seemed that the house was enclosed on all sides by this wall, and I had no way out but to climb the wall.

I pushed aside the thorny bushes and walked over.The wall was only as high as my shoulders, and I took off my shoes, threw them over the top of the wall, and climbed over the branches and uneven brick cracks.Something was torn, and all I could feel was blood thumping in my ears. I closed my eyes and knelt on the wall, only feeling dizzy for a while, and then I fell back. I felt like someone down there caught me and then put me on the ground and shook me.This is Peter, he must have followed me quietly, came to this alley to intercept me, he guessed that I would climb over the wall. "Damn it, what's the matter with you?" he snapped.In the light of the street lamp, his face was angry and panicked. "Are you OK?"

I leaned on him and put my hands up to touch his neck.I was finally stopped by Peter and hugged by him, and I heard his normal voice again, knowing that it was really him, I felt extremely relieved, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "I'm fine," I said, "of course I'm fine. I don't know what's wrong with me." "Put on your shoes," said Peter, handing them to me.Although he was annoyed, he didn't want to make things big. Len also climbed over the wall and jumped down with a thud.He gasped for breath with exhaustion. "Stopped her? Okay.

Let's go, or those guys are going to call the police. " The car is just around the corner.Peter opened the front door and let me in, and Len asked Ainsley to sit in the back.All he said was, "I can't believe you're so neurotic." Ainsley said nothing.We pulled back from the curb and rounded the corner, Len leading the way.I'd love to go home, but I don't want to get Peter into trouble tonight.I sat up straight with my hands crossed in front of me. We parked next to the house where Len lived, and in the night I just thought it was a dilapidated red brick building on the verge of collapse, with a fire escape outside.There is no elevator, and the stairs with black wooden railings creak as soon as you step on them.We went upstairs two in a row as if we were attending some kind of banquet.

The suite is a small single room with a kitchen on one side and a bathroom on the other.It was a mess, with a few suitcases strewn about the floor, books and clothes strewn about, which Len obviously hadn't had time to clean up when he moved in.The bed, just to the left of the door, doubles as a couch, and I kick off my shoes and curl up on the bed.I ran too hard just now, and now I have to rest, and then I feel that the muscles all over my body are so tired. Len poured three big glasses of brandy for Peter, me, and himself, rummaged around in the kitchen, managed to get Ainsley some Coke, and turned on the record player.Then he and Peter fiddled with a few cameras, and they screwed on various lenses, looked at them closely, and discussed exposure times.I felt very discouraged, and there was a lot of regret in my heart, but I didn't have a chance to express it.I thought if only I could be alone with Peter, he would forgive me.

Ernes didn't help me at all.I could see that she was determined to play the part of the quiet little girl who didn't talk much, because that was the safest way.She was sitting in a wicker chair, just like the one in Clara's backyard, except it had an egg-yellow corduroy cushion on it.I've used this chair pad and it's a rubber band that goes over the chair and if you move too much it slides out of the chair and wraps around you.But Ainsley sat motionless, with a Coca-Cola in her hand, quietly staring at the brown drink in the cup.There was neither joy nor boredom on her face, she just waited calmly, that patience was like a fly-plant in the swamp, the hollow bottle-shaped leaves are half filled with liquid, designed to lure insects to fly. Come in and wait for them to fall into the bottle and drown before being digested.

I leaned against the wall, sipping brandy little by little, as the voices of men and music came to me like waves.I thought it must be because my body was against the wall, and the bed was pushed out a little. The situation is this: I just looked around at first, and then I unconsciously lowered my head and found a dark gap between the bed and the wall. It was cool and comfortable there. I thought, it must be very quiet down there, and it wouldn't be so stuffy.I put the wine glass on the coffee table next to the bed where the phone was placed, and glanced around the room. Everyone was busy with their own business, and no one would pay attention to me. A minute later I was slipping sideways through the gap between the bed and the wall, no one could see me, but it wasn't uncomfortable being stuck in there.I thought, this is not okay.It's better to simply get under the bed, it will be like a tent.I didn't think of retracting, I just used my whole body as a lever, pushed the bed up a little as lightly as possible, and then lifted the hanging sheet up to get in, just like stuffing a letter into a mailbox Same.The space underneath is very small, and the bed is very low from the ground, only allowing me to lie flat on the floor, and then, little by little, I moved the bed back to the position close to the wall. It was crowded under the bed.Also, there were huge clumps of dust on the floor, like moldy bread (Lun is so lazy as a pig, I thought puffed up! The bed was never swept. But on second thought, he Not long after moving in, some dust must have been left by the previous occupants).However, I was surrounded by sheets, and the light came in through the sheets, and the half-light of yellow and orange was not dark, and it was cool and undisturbed under the bed, all of which made people feel very comfortable.Under the mattress, the blaring music, staccato laughter and humming of voices all seemed much softer.Even though the space under the bed was cramped and dusty, I still felt happy, which was better than sitting in the room under the hot light and listening to the deafening noise.Even though I was only two or three feet shorter than the other people in the room, I began to see them as being "above," and myself underground, where I dug myself a little nest, and I felt at ease. A man's voice came up, and I thought it was Peter, and he asked loudly, "Hey, where's Marianne?" The other man replied, "Maybe she went to the bathroom." I laughed to myself.It was a joy that nobody knew where I was hiding. It's just that after a long time, it becomes uncomfortable for the cricket to curl up under the bed.I just felt a raw pain in my neck, and I wanted to straighten up, and then I wanted to sneeze.I just hope they quickly find out that I'm missing and rush to find me.I myself can't quite remember why I got under Len's bed.This is ridiculous, and by the time I climb out, I must be covered in dust. But now that I've taken this step, I don't want to go back.It would be too embarrassing to crawl out obediently from under the sheets, like a elephant crawling out of a flour bowl, trailing a trail of ashes behind him.Wouldn't that be tantamount to admitting that you made a mistake.I'm going to stay here. If they don't pull me, I won't go out. The thought of Peter asking me to stay silent under the bed while he was hanging out on top, talking about exposure time happily, made me feel more and more angry, which made me recount the past four months from beginning to end. I thought about it at the end. Our relationship was going in a certain direction over the summer, and while we didn't have an overt sense of it, we deluded ourselves into thinking we were at a standstill.Ainsley once warned me that Peter was going to have me completely in his hands, and she suggested that I should "widen my range of motion a little bit," which was her word.It's fine with her, but I always thought in my mind that it would be a little immoral to be in two boats on this kind of issue.But it also left me in a state of nowhere.Both Peter and I avoided talking about the future because we knew it wasn't necessary because there was no real relationship between us.However, at this moment, I suddenly felt that there was a special relationship between me and him, otherwise I would not be able to explain why I burst into tears in the locker room of the bar just now, and then why I ran desperately outside.I was escaping reality.Now, at this moment, I have to face it, and I have to make a decision about my next step. Someone sat down hard on the bed and pressed me down. I yelped and my mouth was full of dust. "Damn it," the man yelled, rising to his feet, "there's someone under the bed." Then there was a murmur, and then Peter called out, "Marian, are you under the bed?" He didn't have to. "That's right," I replied calmly, determined to take a detached approach to the whole thing. "Well, you'd better come out," he said cautiously. "It's time for us to go home." They treated me like a kid who threw a tantrum and locked himself in a closet, trying to coax me out patiently. I was both amused and somewhat resentful.I was going to answer, "I don't want to come out", but then thought that Peter probably couldn't take it anymore, and that Len would probably say, "Oh, let her go, it's okay to leave her under the bed overnight. God, I don't care. That's the way to do things like this. No matter why she is annoyed, this is the way to calm her down." Thinking of this, I quickly replied, "I can't get out, I'm stuck. " I want to move, but I can't, I'm really stuck. Above they are discussing countermeasures again. "Let's lift the bed," Peter said loudly, "so you can come out, do you hear?" I heard them commanding each other one by one, and it seemed that this became their technical display Great opportunity.I heard the shoes go back and forth as they took their positions and grabbed the mattress.Then Peter called "Get up?" and the bed was raised.I crawled backwards and out, like a lobster that hides under a rock when it is lifted. Peter helped me to stand up. My head and face were covered in ashes.They both laughed and dusted me off. "God knows, why did you get under the bed?" Peter asked.They tried to concentrate and slowly brushed off the large cloud of dust on my body, which showed that they had a lot of brandy during the time I was hiding under the bed. "Be quiet under the bed," I said angrily. "Should you have told me you were stuck?" he said with an air of forgetfulness. "I'd have gotten you out of there long ago, look at you." He smiled, The tone is very proud. "Oh, one I said, 'I don't want to bother you.That's when I became aware of the emotion churning inside of me, which was anger. My fiery tone must have stung the contented Peter, who took a step back, his eyes seeming coldly to gauge what was going on with me.He grabbed my upper arm like I'd been caught jaywalking, and turned toward Len. "We really should go," he said. "It was a very pleasant day. I hope to see you again in a few days. I would like to show you my tripod." Ainsley also got up from the corduroy upholstered chair across the room. I broke free from Peter's hand and said coldly, "I won't take your car, I'll walk back by myself." I opened the door. "Damn it, do what you want," Peter said.But then he came out after me, leaving Ainsley behind.As I rushed down the narrow stairs, I heard Lun say, "Ainsley, have another drink, please? I'll take you home later; let the matter between the two lovers be settled by themselves. Ainsley, on the other hand, rebuffed in a flustered voice, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't..." As soon as I was out on the street, I felt much better, and I escaped, but I didn't know what I escaped, or where I was going.Even though I have no idea why I'm doing this, at least I'm doing it.I've made a decision of some kind, and let's call it a day.It was impossible to reconcile after the crazy behavior that happened just now, the sudden and embarrassing performance in front of others that even I found myself suddenly.But when I came out, I wasn't mad at Peter at all.It's absurd to say, when it occurred to me that my relationship with him was so peaceful, that we had never quarreled before today, because there was nothing to quarrel about. I turned my head and looked back, but Peter was not behind.I walked down the deserted street, past rows of old apartment houses, toward the nearest high street, where I could catch a bus.It's late (what time is it?) and it must be a long time.Thinking of this, I feel a little uneasy. The wind is getting stronger, the sky is getting cooler, and the lightning seems to be getting closer.There was a rumbling thunder in the distance.I only have a thin summer coat on me.I didn't know if I had enough money to call a taxi, so I stopped and counted the money, only to find that it wasn't enough. I walked north for about ten minutes, and after passing through the business district with the indifferent lights still on in the closed shops, I suddenly noticed Peter's car driving about a hundred yards in front of me, leaning against the curb stopped.Peter got out of the car and stood on the empty sidewalk waiting for me.I walked steadily forward, neither slowing down nor changing direction.There was no need to run now, I had nothing to do with him anymore. When I got to him, he took a step forward and stood in front of me. "Can you please allow me to take you home?" "I don't want to see you drenched," he said with implacable politeness, and at that moment a few pea-sized drops of rain had fallen. I hesitated.Why did he do this?It's possible that it was as much a matter of decency as he opened the car door—almost a reflex, and if that was the case, I could accept his help out of decency without any danger.But what would happen if I got into his car?I took a good look at him. He obviously drank too much, but he was completely lucid.Indeed, his eyes were a little dull, but his body still stood straight. "Well," I said vaguely, "I don't really want to take the car, but thank you anyway." "Well, come on, Marianne, don't be childish," he said impatiently, and took my arm. I was pulled by him to the front of the car, and he forced me into the front seat.I guess I don't really want to, but I don't want to get drenched either. He got in, slammed his side of the car door, and started the engine. "Now tell me, what's the matter with your willful mischief today?" He asked angrily. The car turned the corner, and it started to rain, and the wind and rain hit the windshield of the car.Pouring rain and wind (that's what one of my great-aunts called it) could come down at any moment. "I didn't ask you to send me," I said, not wanting to answer him directly.I am convinced that I am not fooling around, but I am also painfully aware that, to an outsider, my every move looks like capricious foolishness.I don't want to talk about this matter, and there will be no results if we talk about it.I sat stiffly in my seat, staring straight ahead, even though I could barely see anything through the window. "I've never had such a good time as I did tonight. What the hell are you doing to spoil my fun?" He said to himself, ignoring me.There was a sudden thunder outside. "I guess I didn't spoil your fun," I said, "you had a good time yourself, didn't you?" "Oh, that's it. We've given you the cold shoulder. You're not interested in what we're talking about, we're just talking to ourselves, and we've left you alone. Well, we get it, and we won't dare ask you to be with us next time." out." I think it's unfair of him to say that.After all, Lunben was my friend. "It's not like you don't know that Len is my friend," I said, my voice trembling. "He's just come back from England, shouldn't I have a word or two with him?" I said as I realized that Len wasn't really the problem. "Ainsley's performance is very decent, why can't you? Your trouble is," he said viciously, "you want to deliberately deny your femininity." His approval of Ainsley stung me deeply. "Oh, fuck femininity," I yelled, "femininity has nothing to do with this thing. It's not surprising that you're going to stab people with such rude remarks." I know Peter can't bear to be accused of being uneducated and not polite.That would be comparing him to a character in a deodorant ad. He glanced over my head quickly, then narrowed his eyes again as if aiming.Then he gritted his teeth and hit the accelerator hard.At this time, the heavy rain was pouring down.The road in front of the car could no longer be seen clearly, only a vast ocean.When I counterattacked him, the car was on the way downhill, accelerated suddenly, the wheels slipped, the car turned 15 degrees, staggered back and hit the grass of someone else on the slope, and stopped with bumps.There was the sound of something breaking. I hit the glove box and bounced back before realizing I didn't die. "Are you crazy?" I yelled. "You're going to kill us all." I used the word "we" but I meant only myself. Peter unscrewed the window and poked his head out.He immediately laughed. "I trimmed their hedges," he said, stomping on the gas pedal again.The wheels spun a bit, turned up the mud on the grass, left two deep holes (this is what I saw later), and with the creaking sound of the transmission, we crossed the edge of the grass and returned to the road. on the road. I was afraid and angry, coupled with the cold, I shivered all over. "You dragged me into your car first," I said tremblingly, "because you had a guilty conscience, you pressed me hard, and then you wanted to kill me?" Peter was still laughing.He poked his head out for just a short while, and was already drenched, his hair stuck to his forehead, and water dripped down his face. "When the family gets up tomorrow morning, they will see a little change in the garden." He giggled, as if he found it extremely amusing to deliberately destroy other people's property. "You seem to have fun vandalizing other people's property," I said sarcastically. "Sang, don't kill the scenery like this," he said enthusiastically.He evidently felt that he had just brilliantly demonstrated his strength, and he was very proud of it.It's outrageous that he should take credit for what the rear wheels of the car did. "Peter, why can't you be serious? You're as ignorant as a child." He deliberately ignored it. The car screeched to a stop. "Here we go," he said. I grabbed the doorknob, thinking, I was going to say something to keep him from answering, and rushed into the house.But he reached out and grabbed my arm and said, "Let's go down when the rain is a little lighter." He turned the ignition key, and the tick-tock wipers on the windshield stopped.We sat in silence while outside there was thunder and lightning and the rain was pouring down.The thunder and lightning must have been right above us, blinding flashes of lightning, and every branch of lightning was followed by a thunderclap, as if the trees of the whole forest had been split and felled.In the gap between thunder and lightning, we heard raindrops pattering on the car, and thin drops of water continued to seep in through the gaps in the closed car windows. "I was right not to let you walk home," said Peter, in the tone of a man who has made a wise and correct decision.I can't dispute that. In the bright light of a longer lightning bolt, I turned my head and saw him watching me, his face strange in the shadows, his eyes gleaming like the headlights of a car on the eyes of a beast same as above.He was watching me nervously, vaguely uneasy.Then he leaned towards me and said, "Don't move, you've got a cloud of dust on your head." He stroked my head with his hand, although his movements were clumsy, he carefully picked out a cloud of ash stuck in my hair. I was suddenly paralyzed and lost all strength.I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes.His skin was cold and clammy, and his breath smelled of brandy. "Open your eyes," he said.I opened my eyes, our foreheads still touching, and in the next flash of lightning I found our eyes meeting eye to eye. "You have eight eyes," I said softly.We both laughed and he pulled me over to kiss me and I put my arms around his back.So we stayed in silence for some time in the great thunderstorm.I just feel that I am tired as hell and my body is shaking all the time. "I don't know what's going on tonight," I whispered.He strokes my hair in a nonchalant, understanding way, a little condescending. "Marian." I could feel his Adam's apple twitch.Now that I couldn't tell whether it was his body or mine that was shaking, he held me tighter. "I think... I think... let's get married, shall we?" I shrink back from him. A blinding blue lightning flashed very close, illuminating the interior of the car. At this moment, we looked at each other, and I saw a small oval image of myself in his eyes.