letter to a learned neighbor Chekhov dear neighbor. ① Maxine... (I forgot your father's name, please forgive me magnanimously). ② Please forgive and forgive me, an old fellow and absurd human being, because I should not have the audacity to bother you with the vulgar babble in this letter.It's been a full year since you moved to our humble place and lived next to me, a little man, but I still don't know you, and you don't know me, poor dragonfly ears.For this reason, dear neighbor, please allow me to at least establish diplomatic relations with you through these ancient hieroglyphs, to shake your learned hand intellectually, and to celebrate your coming from St. Petersburg to our continent, which is not worth it here. Gu, the people who live there are peasants and ordinary people working in agriculture, that is, untouchable elements.I have been looking for opportunities to make friends with you for a long time, and I am eager to make friends with you, because learning is our mother to a certain extent, it is like civilization, and because I have always admired scholars of letters, they are well-known far and wide, Busy, with laurel crowns on their heads, golden drums beating, medals and ribbons on their chests, and graduation certificates in their hands, their reputation is illustrious, like thunder and lightning, spreading everywhere, in this visible and invisible universe. In the world, that is, in the earthly world and the lower world, no one knows it.I have always loved astrologers, poets, metaphysicians, associate professors, chemists and other academic leaders, and there are profound academic affairs and scientific departments, that is, finished products and results, including the inner ear.It is said that his intellectual activities over the years have been based on test tubes, thermometers, and a large number of foreign books with exquisite illustrations, so he has published many books.Not long ago my neighbor Gerasimov came to my humble precinct, that is to say, to my dormitories and huts. He was naturally oblivious, scolding and denying the thoughts and ideas under his feet, such as on the question of the origin of human beings, With regard to the other phenomena of this corporeal world, etc., he rebelled violently against the field of intellect under his feet, the horizon of thought strewn with planets and meteorites, and so on.I disagree with Gerasimov about the concept of rationality under my feet, because science is my life and my food, and God gave it to mankind for the purpose of this physical and Dig into the depths of the invisible world for metals, non-metals and diamonds too.But having said that, if I venture to refute some of the notions I have made about the principles of nature in my old man's opinion, then, man, please forgive me for being too small to see.Gerasimov told me that he had written a book on man and his primitive state and life before the Flood, and that his argument was not very wise.The first step writes that humans come from apes, macaques, orangutans, etc.Forgive me, little old man, but I disagree with you on this important point, and I can put you in the army.Because human beings are the masters of the world, the forest of all things, if it comes from stupid monkeys who are ignorant and ignorant, they will have tails and their voices will be weird.If we were all born of monkeys, now the gypsies would take us to monkey shows in various big cities, and we would have to pay for tickets to watch each other play monkeys, dance at the orders of the gypsy, or be locked up in the zoo. Inside the iron fence.Are we covered with hair?Aren't we wearing clothes and the monkeys have nothing?Would we love them, and not despise them, if they smelled even a little of that monkey we see every Tuesday at the house of the chief lord?If our ancestors were born of monkeys, they would not be buried in Christian cemeteries.For example, my great-great-grandfather Amuvrossi, who lived in ancient times and lived in the Kingdom of Poland, was not buried like a monkey, but with the Catholic abbot Io Akim Shostaki, who wrote about The manuscripts of temperate climate and excessive drinking are still guarded by brother Ivan (Major).The master of the monastery is a Catholic priest, not a hozen.Forgive me, an ignorant person, for disturbing my academic work. I make a lot of comments with my old-fashioned views, and use my vulgar and somewhat rough concepts to blasphemy. It does not appear in the mind, but only in the stomach.Whenever a scholar thinks wrong in his mind, I cannot remain silent, cannot bear it, and have to refute my step.Gerasimov told me that your idea about the moon, that is, the bright moon, is quite wrong, because the moon is dark, and after everyone goes to sleep, you give us something to replace the sun, and you move the electricity back and forth with your feet. , Literally this yellow.Don't laugh at my old man's idiotic language.It is impossible for people and tribes to live and live on the moon, that is, the bright moon, because if people live on the moon, their houses and rich pastures will block the magnetic magic light of the moon , making us unable to see the moonlight.Furthermore, human beings cannot survive without rainwater, and rainwater always falls to the ground, not to the moon.People who live on the moon would fall to the ground with a somersault, but such things have never happened before.If the moon is inhabited by people, garbage and swill will fall on our continent one after another.How can there be people in the moon: Could it be that the people there only live at night and die in the daytime?It is also impossible for our government to approve people to live on the moon, because the road is far away and difficult to climb, and it is very easy for people to escape military service once they reach the moon.It can be seen that I made a small mistake with one step.According to Gerasimov, I have written and published in your erudite works that on the largest celestial body, on the sun, there are black spots and so on.There can be no such thing, because there can never be such a thing.If ordinary people cannot look directly at the sun with their naked eyes, how can they see the spots on the sun clearly?Since it doesn't matter if the sun has no spots, why bother to add spots?If the spots haven't burned away by now, what kind of wet stuff are they made of?Maybe fish can survive on the sun, right?Forgive me this poisonous mandala⑤ for telling jokes so stupidly!I have always been loyal to science!The ruble is the sail of the nineteenth century, but in my eyes, it has no value at all. Science has already spread its extremely wide wings to cover him in my eyes.Any invention shakes me physically and mentally, no less than driving a nail into my back.Though I am an ignorant and old-fashioned landowner, yet I am an old wretch who speaks of science, invents with my own hands, and fills my absurd brain and savage head with ideas and the whole of the greatest knowledge.Covering Mother Nature is a big book that we should read and appreciate.My own ingenuity has produced many inventions, such as have not hitherto been surpassed by any reformer.I want to say without boasting that my education level is not too bad, but it comes from penance, not from the money of my parents, that is, my parents or guardians. There is a six-story building with slaves and maids, and electric bells, which actually harms the children.The things invented by my little intellect are listed below.Once a year, I discovered, our sun must be wearing a huge glowing coat in the early morning, colorful, fascinating, and beautiful, and his wondrous expression with frequent blinks leaves a playful impression on people.Yet another invention.Why are the days short and nights long in winter and the opposite in summer?The reason why the days are short in winter is that they shrink when they are cold, similar to other things that are tangible and intangible, and because the sun sets earlier.The night is long and swelled by lighting candles, because the air is too hot.Next, I also found out that dogs eat grass like goats in the spring, and that coffee is bad for a bloody man, because it causes dizziness in his head, blurred vision in his eyes, and so on.I have a lot of inventions, and I don't have diplomas and certificates other than that.Come to my house, dear neighbor, by all means.Let's invent and read books together, and we can teach this boring guy all kinds of calculation methods in one step.

Not long ago I read in a book by a French scholar that the face of a lion is not at all like a human face, and I wonder what the scholars think.On this point, we should discuss it.It is a pleasure to invite you to visit us.For example, it is not impossible to come tomorrow.We are currently fasting, but we should cook meat dishes for our own sake.My daughter Natashenka asks you to bring some profound books.She is the liberal woman in my family, she thinks everyone is stupid and she is the only one who is smart.Today's young people, let me tell you, are too pushy. May God bless them!My brother Ivan (Major) will come to my house in a week. He is a good man, but we will say behind our backs that he is a worldly person and doesn't like science.This letter is to be delivered to the house by Trophim, my servant, at eight o'clock sharp in the evening.If he is late in delivering the letter, you can just slap him in a professorial manner, and you don't need to be polite to this kind of person.If the delivery of the letter was delayed, the ghost must have gone to the hotel.It has long been a custom for husbands to visit neighbors, neither from our beginning nor from our end, so please be sure to come, and it is a good luck to bring your machine books with you.Originally, I wanted to go to the house to pay a visit, but I was embarrassed and lacked courage.Please forgive my trash for disturbing your honor.

I respect you a veteran of the Don Army, of noble birth, Your Neighbor Vasily Semy-Bulatov⑥ Yubrinne-Xiejiannei ⑦ Village ①A period is not used here, but a colon is used.Also, in addition to punctuation errors, there are also typos, sentences that were written inappropriately, and places that are full of mistakes due to indiscriminate use of classical Chinese, so I will not note them one by one. ②According to the customs of the upper class in Russia, it is disrespectful to call a person by his real name alone, and he must call his real name and his father's name together to show respect, such as Maxine Ivanovich.

③Primeval times: According to legends in Christian scriptures, there was a great flood in the ancient times. ④ Also known as the Gypsies, a wandering people who often make a living as entertainers in Russia. ⑤ A Solanaceae plant that can be used as an anesthetic. ⑥ This surname can be translated as "seven swords". ⑦The name of this village can be translated as "eat up all the pancakes".In Chekhov's early works, grotesque or humorous names of people and places are often used, and the following articles will not note them one by one.