Chapter 14 "My Life - A Mainlander's Story" XIV

fourteen My sister, too, lived her own unique life, carefully keeping it from me.She often whispered to Masha.Whenever I went up to her, she always flinched, with a guilty and pleading look in her eyes.Evidently, something had changed in her, and she felt afraid and ashamed.In order not to meet me in the garden, or to be alone with me, she was always with Masha, so that I had very little opportunity to talk to her except at mealtimes. One day I came back from a construction site and walked gently through the garden.It was getting dark.My sister, neither seeing me nor hearing my steps, walked up and down by an old leafy apple tree without making a sound, as if by a ghost.She was dressed all in black, and was always walking rapidly up and down a line, with her eyes on the ground.An apple fell from the tree, she was startled by the noise, stood still, and pressed her hands to her temples.That's when I walked up to her.

A tender feeling suddenly came to my heart, somehow, with tears in my eyes, I thought of our mother, our childhood, I put my arms around her shoulders and kissed her. "What's the matter with you?" I asked. "You're sad, I've seen it. Tell me, what's the matter with you?" "I'm afraid..." she said, shaking. "What's the matter with you?" I asked. "For God's sake, say it frankly!" "I say, I'm speaking frankly, I'm telling you the truth. It's too heavy, too painful to keep from you! Michel, I'm in love..." she continued in a low voice. "I'm in love, I'm in love. . . . I'm happy, but for some reason I'm so scared!"

Footsteps were heard, and between the trees appeared the figure of the physician Bragovo in a silk shirt and high boots.Apparently, they had agreed in advance to meet here by the apple tree.When she saw him, she threw herself upon him, crying out in pain, as if someone were trying to take him from her. "Vladimir! Vladimir!" She leaned against him, looking greedily into his face.Only then did I realize how thin and pale she had grown of late.This was especially noticeable in her lace collar, which I had long known, but which now seemed fatter than ever to enclose her long, thin neck.The doctor was a little flustered, but he calmed down immediately, smoothed her hair and said, "Okay, come on, come on...Why are you so excited? Look, here I come."

We didn't speak, and looked at each other embarrassedly.Then the three of us were walking together, and I heard the doctor say to me: "Our cultural life has not yet begun. The old people console themselves that we have nothing now, but there was something in the forties and sixties, This is what old people think; and we are still young, and the marasmussenilis have not damaged our minds, and we cannot comfort ourselves with such fantasies. Ross was founded in 862, and educated Ross, in my opinion , but it hasn't started yet." But I ignored these arguments.It seemed a little strange, and I could hardly believe that my sister was in love, that she was walking on the arm of a stranger, looking tenderly at him.My sister was a nervous, timid, repressed, unfree being in love with a man who was married and had children!I feel a little regretful, but I don't know what I am sorry for.For some reason, the doctor's presence already displeased me, and I couldn't think of anything good about their love affair.

"Notes" ①Latin: Weakness of old age.