Chapter 10 ten

ten Ivan Dmitry was still lying on the bed with his head folded and legs tucked away as yesterday. "Good morning, my friend," said Andrey Yefimitch, "you are not asleep, are you?" "In the first place, I am not your friend," said Ivan Dmitry, addressing the pillow, "and in the second place, you are wasting your efforts: you will never get a word out of my mouth." "Strange..." muttered Andrey Yefimitch in embarrassment, "we had a pleasant conversation yesterday, but you suddenly got angry for some reason and stopped talking immediately... I'm afraid I didn't say it quite right, Or there are ideas that don't fit your beliefs..."

"Well, I am so sure of your work!" said Ivan Dmitry, raising himself up and looking mockingly and fearfully at the doctor, whose eyes were red. "You can spy and interrogate elsewhere, but you can't do that here. I knew what you were doing just yesterday." "Strange fantasy!" The doctor smiled faintly, "So, you regard me as a secret agent?" "Yes, that's right... I think it's the same thing whether it's a spy or a doctor. Anyway, they were sent to test me." "Alas, you, pardon me for saying so . . . what a queer man!"

The doctor sat down on the stool by the bed and shook his head reproachfully. "But suppose you're right," he said, "and if I perfidiously try to catch you and take you to the police, and you're arrested and later tried. But don't you have to be better in court than in prison?" Is it worse here? If you are sentenced to life in exile or even torture, must it be worse than being locked up in this ward? I thought it couldn't be worse... so what's so terrible?" Evidently these words had an effect on Ivan Dmitry.He sat down in relief. It was past four o'clock in the afternoon.At such times, when Andrey Yefimitch was walking up and down the rooms of the apartment, Daryushka asked him if it was time for a beer.It was a calm day with no wind outside.

"I went out for a walk after dinner, and here I am, you see," said the doctor. "It's quite spring." "What month is it? March?" asked Ivan Dmitry. "Yes, the end of March." "Is there mud all over the place?" "No, not exactly. There is already a way in the garden." "It would be nice if I could just go for a picnic in a four-wheeled carriage," said Ivan Dmitry, wiping his red eyes as if he had just woken up, "and then go back to the cozy study at home ... and find A decent doctor for headaches... I've lived this inhuman life for a long time. It's terrible here! It's unbearable!"

After experiencing yesterday's excitement, he looked tired and listless at this moment, too lazy to talk.His fingers were trembling constantly, and his face showed that he had a severe headache. "There is no difference between a warm and comfortable study and this sickroom," said Andrey Yefimitch. "A man's peace and contentment are not outside him, but inside him." "What do you mean by that?" "Ordinary people measure their destiny by things outside of them, such as carriages and studies, but thinking people measure it by themselves." "Go to Greece and spread this philosophy, where the climate is warm and the oranges are fragrant, but your philosophy is not suitable for the climate here. Who have I talked about Diogenes? With you?"

"Yes, you spoke of him to me yesterday." "Diogenes didn't need a study and a warm place to live in. It's hot over there and doesn't need these things. He lived in his barrel and ate oranges and olives. If he lived in Russia, then don't say December , in May, he will ask to move into the room, I am afraid he will have curled up in a ball from the cold." "No, one can be insensitive to cold, and to all pain in general. Marcus Aurelius said: "Pain is a living conception of sickness, and if you use the power of will Change this concept, let go of it, stop complaining, and the pain will disappear. 'this is correct.What distinguishes the wise man, or the thinking man in general, is that he despises pain, that he is always content and never wonders at anything. "

①Marcus Aurelius (121-180), Roman emperor, Stoic philosopher. "So I'm an idiot, because I'm miserable, dissatisfied, and amazed at the meanness of people." "You don't have to. If you think about it often enough, you'll see how little things are outside of us that agitate us. Try to find out the meaning of life—that's true happiness." "Find out the meaning of life..." Ivan Dmitry said, frowning. "What is outside the body, what is inside... I'm sorry, I don't understand this. All I know is," he stood up and looked at the doctor angrily. Say, "All I know is that God made me a man of flesh and blood, and that's it, sir! The human organism is so vital that it responds to every external stimulus. I have this reaction." When I am in pain, I cry and cry; when I see meanness, I get angry; Poor, the weaker its ability to respond to external stimuli; the more advanced the body, the more sensitive it is, and the stronger the response to reality. How can you not even understand this? As a doctor, I don’t know such a simple truth! In order to be able to despise suffering, to be content at all times, and to express no surprise at anything, see, you have to practice to such an extent," said Ivan Dmitry, pointing to the fat peasant with fat flesh, "or let the pain overwhelm you. You have been honed to insensitivity, you have lost all sense of pain, in other words, you have become a living dead. Sorry, I am not a wise man, nor a philosopher," Ivan Dmitry continued angrily, " I don't understand anything about what you're saying. I'm not good at disputing."

"On the contrary, your controversy is excellent." "The Stoics you just spoke of were fine men, but their teachings stagnated two thousand years ago, made no progress then, and will not develop later, because it is not relevant. Actually, divorced from life. It is only successful among a few people who have spent their lives studying and playing with various theories, but most people do not understand it. The kind that preaches disregard for wealth, disregard for the comfort of life, contempt for pain and death The doctrine is completely incomprehensible to most people, because most people do not know what wealth is, what are the comforts of life; and contempt for pain is to him contempt for life itself, because man All substance consists of feelings of cold, hunger, humiliation, loss, and the Hamletian fear of death. All life consists in these feelings. One may be troubled by life, one may hate it, but one cannot despise it. That's right. I repeat, the Stoics cannot possibly have a future, and from the beginning of the century until today, you know, the constant development is the struggle, the sensitivity to pain, the ability to respond to stimuli..."

①A school of ancient philosophy, which believed that wise men should conform to the indifference of nature and be ascetic, and advocated fatalism in the late period. Representatives include Zeno and Marco Aurelius. Ivan Dmitry's train of thought was suddenly interrupted, he stopped, and wiped his brow in distress. "I have an important thing to say, but my train of thought is lost," he said. "What did I just say? Oh, yes! What I meant to say is that a Stoic ransoms , selling himself into slavery. You see, even the Stoics respond to provocations, for such feats of self-sacrifice require a heart filled with indignation and compassion. In this cell, I have learned I forget all the things I have passed, otherwise I will remember something, how about Christ? Christ’s answer to reality is to cry, smile, sorrow, anger, and even distress. He does not meet pain with a smile on his face , nor did he despise death, but prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, that the Father would take this affliction from him."

① See the twenty-sixth verse thirty-six of the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible. Ivan Dmitry laughed and sat down. "Let it be assumed that man's peace and contentment are not outside him, but in him," he went on, "that man should despise pain, and be amazed at nothing. But on what grounds do you advocate this view? Are you a wise man? A philosopher?" "No, I'm not a philosopher, but everyone should preach it because it makes sense." "No, what I want to know is, why do you think you are qualified to preach the idea of ​​finding the meaning of life, despising pain, etc.? Have you suffered before? Do you know what pain is? Excuse me: Were you beaten when you were a child ?”

"No, my parents hated corporal punishment." "But I was often beaten by my father. My father was a violent, hemorrhoidal civil servant with a big nose and a sallow neck. But let me tell you about you. You have never been touched by anyone in your life. No one has ever frightened or tormented you. You are as strong as a cow. You grew up under the protection of your father. Living in free public housing, with heating, lighting, servants, and the right to work as much as you like, for as many hours as you like, even if you don’t do anything at all. You are born to be lazy , tired person, so you try to arrange your life so that nothing disturbs you, lest you move your seat. You leave the work to the doctor and other bastards, and you sit in the warm and quiet study and accumulate money , read books and newspapers. You enjoy yourself, thinking about all kinds of noble nonsense, and also," Ivan Dmitry glanced at the doctor's red nose, "drinking. In short, you have not seen Life, you don't understand life at all, you only know reality theoretically. And as for your contempt for suffering and your lack of wonder at anything, the reason is simple: the emptiness of the world, external things and inner world, contempt for life, suffering, death, finding out The meaning of life, true happiness—all these are the best philosophies for Russian idlers. For example, you see a peasant beating his wife. Why bother with injustice? Let him beat him, sooner or later both will die anyway , besides, he beats and insults not the person being beaten, but himself. Drunkenness is stupid and unseemly, but whoever drinks will die, and whoever does not drink will die. A village woman came to you with a toothache... ...Hey, what is that? Pain is a concept of pain, and besides, there is no one in this world who is not sick, and everyone is going to die, so you motherfucker, fuck you, don't hinder my thinking and drinking. Young People come to ask for advice on how to live and what to do. Others will definitely think carefully before answering, but your answer is ready-made: try to find out the meaning of life, or try to find true happiness. But this kind of myth What exactly is 'true happiness'? Of course, the answer is no. We people are kept in iron prisons, covered with abscesses, and tortured, but it is very good and reasonable, because in this ward and the warm and comfortable There is really no difference between the study rooms. Such a convenient philosophy: do nothing, have a good conscience, think you are a wise man... No, sir, this is not philosophy, it is not thinking, it is not broad-mindedness, it is laziness, witchcraft, dreaming... Yes!" Ivan Dmitry was furious again, "you despise pain, but if your fingers pinch the door, I'm afraid you'll scream at the top of your voice!" "Perhaps I won't shout," said Andrey Yefimitch, smiling mildly. "That's right! How could that be? Suppose you had a sudden stroke and fell down with a thud, or that a bastard and a villain took advantage of his position and power to insult you in public, knowing that he would not be affected by it." Punishment—hey, then you'll know what it's like to ask someone else to find out the meaning of life and the pursuit of true happiness." "Unique opinion," said Andrey Yefimitch, smiling contentedly, rubbing his hands together. "Your tendency to generalize amuses and astonishes me. You have just made an assessment of my character." , it is simply wonderful. To be honest, I have given me great pleasure talking to you. Well, I have heard you, now listen to me..."