Chapter 15 "Wife" Seven

seven It was already past seven o'clock in the evening.Besides Ivan Ivanitch, we were led from the hall to the door by some peasant women, the old woman with spectacles, some girls and a peasant, who shed tears and said all kinds of auspicious words.Beside the horses, in the dark, there were people standing with lamps, or walking up and down, telling our coachman how to go, and the best way to go, and wishing us a safe journey.The horses, the sleds, and the men are all white. "How can he have so many people in his family?" I asked, as my three-horse sleigh and the doctor's two-horse sleigh rolled slowly out of the yard.

"It's all his serfs," Sobol said. "The new regulations haven't come to him yet. Some old servants will stay in his house until they die; and all kinds of homeless and helpless people; and some people insist on living here, Can't be driven away. Queer old man!" Again the gallop of the horses, the unnatural cry of the drunken Nicanor, the strong wind, the entanglement of snow that flew into the eyes and mouth of the man and into the folds of the fur coat. "Ghosts make me run around!" I thought.The bells of my sleigh echoed the bells of the doctor, and the wind howled and the coachmen shouted, and in this frenzied uproar I recalled all the events of this strange day, for the only time in my life. up.I feel like I've really gone crazy, or turned into someone else, as if I was a stranger to me before today.

The doctor's sleigh ran behind, and he kept talking loudly to his coachman.Sometimes he caught up with me, and walked beside me, still naively believing that it must be very pleasant to me.He asked me to smoke cigarettes and asked me for matches.or.As soon as he caught up with me, he suddenly stood up on the sledge, straightened himself up, waved the sleeves of his fur coat which was almost twice as long as his arm, and shouted: "Quick, Vaska! Get past that rich man! Come on, kitten!" The doctor's "kittens" rushed forward amidst the loud and gleeful laughter of Sobol and his Vaska.My Nicanor got angry and reined in the three horses, but when the doctor's bell was no longer heard, he raised his arms and gave a loud shout, and my three horses chased after him like crazy.We ran into some kind of village.Sparse lights and outlines of farmhouses flashed before my eyes, and someone shouted: "Hey, these devils!" The sleigh seemed to have run for two versts, but the street continued to stretch without end.When we overtook the doctor, and both sledges slowed down, he asked me for matches, and said, "Come and support the peasants in this street! There are five such streets here, sir. Stop! Stop!" !” he cried. "Turn the corner to the tavern! We've got to get warm, and the horses have to rest."

We stopped next to a small restaurant. "There is more than one village like this in my parish," said the doctor, pushing open a door with a squeaky tackle, and letting me in first. "Even if you take a look in broad daylight, you still can't see the end of this street, and there are many other alleys, so you can only scratch your head. It's hard to hear." We walked into the "main room" where the guests were received, and there was a strong smell of tablecloths.A bleary-eyed farmer jumped from a bench as we entered.He was wearing a waistcoat and his shirt was not tucked into his trousers.Sobol wants beer, I want tea.

"It's hard to even think about contributing," Sobol said. "Your wife has confidence. I admire her and respect her, but I don't have much confidence myself. As long as our attitude towards the common people still has the character of ordinary charity work, like an orphanage or a home for the disabled, then we will Just playing tricks, deceiving people, deceiving ourselves. Our attitude should be solid, based on calculation, knowledge and justice. My Huaska has been a laborer in my family all his life, and now he has no harvest there, he starves and gets If I now give him fifteen kopecks a day, I am trying to restore him to his former status as a worker, that is to say, I want to protect my interests first; but I do not know why the fifteen kopecks It is called alms, subsidy, and good deeds. Now we will talk about this alms in this way. According to the minimum calculation, a family of five people, each person is seven kopecks, so it takes 1,000 families to feed a thousand families. Three hundred and fifty rubles had to be distributed. This figure was determined by our solid and obligatory attitude towards the thousand families. But instead of three hundred and five a day, we only gave ten, and said that this was Alms, grants, for which your wife and we have become marvelously good people, and everyone applauds our humanitarianism. That's the way it is, man! Well, if we talked less about humanitarianism, we'd say more Come on, think about it, and treat our responsibilities with conscience! How many of us are such sentimental humanitarians who run from house to house with pledges in good faith, but their tailors And the cook's wages, they withhold. There's no reason for our life, that's all! There's no reason!"

We were silent for a while.I calculated secretly and said, "I want to feed a thousand families for two hundred days. Come to me tomorrow and have a talk." My words are very simple, and I feel very satisfied.To my delight, Sobol replied more simply: "Yes." We paid our dues and walked out of the little restaurant. "I like driving like this," said Sobol, sitting down on the sled. "My lord, please lend me the matches. I forgot my box in the small restaurant." A quarter of an hour later his two-horse sleigh fell behind.In the whistling of the wind and snow, the sound of his bell could not be heard.I went home and walked up and down my rooms, thinking it over, trying to make sense of my situation.As for what I should say to my wife, I can't think of a word, not a word.I'm out of my mind.

I couldn't think of anything, but went downstairs to find my wife.She was standing in her room, still wearing that long pink gown, still maintaining that posture, as if trying to stop me from touching her documents.A look of confusion and sarcasm came to her face.It was evident that when she heard that I had returned, she was ready not to cry as she had yesterday, not to make demands, not to defend herself, but to laugh at me, answer my words with contempt, and take decisive action. The expression on her face seemed to say: If this is the case, then let's break up. "Natalie, I'm not gone," I said, "but it's not a lie. I've lost my mind, I've grown old, I've been sick, I've become someone else, whatever you want to think of it.  … I'm terrified , tremblingly got rid of the old me, I looked down on him and was ashamed of him. However, since yesterday, the new person that appeared in my heart will not allow me to go away. Please don't drive me away, Natalie!"

She looked into my face, believing my words, her eyes twinkling with anxiety.With her in front of me, my heart was intoxicated, and with the warmth in her room, my body also warmed up.I stretched out my hand to her, and murmured as if in a dream: "I want to tell you: I have no relatives besides you. I have never missed you for a minute, but my stubborn vanity won't allow it." I admit it. The days when we lived as husband and wife are irretrievable now, and there is no need to. You make me your servant, take all my property, and distribute it as you like Well. Now I'm safe, Natalie, I'm content. . . . I'm safe. . . . " My wife, staring at my face with a curious look, suddenly let out a soft cry, burst into tears, and ran into the The next room went.I went upstairs to my own room.

At the end of an hour I was sitting at my desk, writing "History of the Railways," and those starving people no longer prevented me from doing the work.Now I don't feel restless anymore.After that, whether it was the chaos that I saw one day when I was inspecting the farmhouses in the village of Pistrovo with my wife and Sobol, whether it was ominous rumours, the mistakes of those around me, my old age The nearness of my heart no longer disturbs my mind.Just as the flying shells and bullets of the battlefield do not prevent soldiers from talking about their business, eating, and mending boots, so the starving people do not come to prevent me from sleeping peacefully and doing my personal work.In my house, in my yard, in the distance, and in all directions, there is work that the physician Sobol called "a carnival of charity."My wife used to come to my room and look around my room restlessly, as if searching for something else to give to the starving, in order to "find a justification for living." .I see that, because of her, we shall soon have nothing left, and we shall be poor.But that didn't excite me either, and I smiled at her cheerfully.What will happen in the future, I don't know.

"Notes" ① Refers to the Serf Emancipation Order promulgated by the Russian Emperor in 1861.