Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Games on the Playground

Chapter 5 Games on the Playground I especially miss that feeling, the wind blowing on my face. 37 I was already waiting at the school gate, waiting for Arthur to catch up. There is a marble ball on the left and right of the gate pillar of the school. It is very beautiful, and it is an ornament. I am sitting on the ball on the left.I sat waiting for Arthur not because I was tired--because when you're dead you don't really feel tired.Not only tiredness, but also thirst, hunger, etc., anyway, I just don't feel them.But it’s not like you’ve lost all your feelings, you still have psychological feelings.You can also feel happy, sad, lonely, guilty, whatever.You can still laugh!

Anyway, I sat on the marble ball, not because I wanted to take a break, but mainly because it was in a good position and it looked "cool" to sit on.Just think about it, sitting proudly on top of the school gate, looking down at the school, as if you have been away for centuries. I sat on the school gate, waiting for Arthur to rush over. I began to wonder how Arthur played with those "slot machines" in the casino. He said he controlled them with his mind.I thought, if he can do it, so can I. Just by the school gate, there was an old maple tree--that was a strange looking tree, it looked like it had been growing for years.It has many branches, all reaching out to the sidewalk.People from the community board have long asked for it to be pruned.They did the same, but it wasn't a pretty cut at all.It looks like a tree that has just had its head shaved.

When I saw this tree, I realized it was already autumn because the tree had lost all its leaves.Which means I've been hit by a truck for a few weeks, because I remember it was still summer—or it was early fall, but it was still super hot, like summer. It's kind of weird how time goes by so fast.I think the car accident just happened, not more than a few hours, or even a few minutes ago.What happened at school during the weeks I was away?I must be missing something.The interschool ball game must be on again, but I'm out of it.That must be bad, I can guarantee it, because I'm the best center on the team.They may not find the right person to replace me.Maybe they really can't find it, or maybe they have abstained.

Just then, I heard the shouts of people on the school football field, and I saw that our team was playing against a team from another school.Looks like the game didn't stop, I didn't play, and the game didn't stop -- even without me. I'm feeling weird right now, really weird, I can't explain it—sadness, anticipation, the feeling that it's better to be alive, I think that's probably it.But those feelings pass quickly, and I'm one of those people who have the worst job and think the best. "He who is content is always happy", "be content with what happens", if you can't "do what you love", you must "love what you do", I think this is the truth.

38 I turned my attention again to the old maple tree, and I saw that there was still a leaf hanging from the tallest branch.Well, I thought, if Arthur can make a row of four strawberries on the slot machine, why can't I get this last leaf off? I start to focus my attention. I stared at that leaf, stared hard, and focused all my attention on it, like you use a magnifying glass to focus the sunlight all on one point.I don’t know if you have tried it, but if you use a magnifying glass to focus the sunlight on one point, it will burn a hole in the paper after a while, and you can even ignite a piece of wood.

"I am the magnifying glass lens," I said to myself, "my thoughts are the sunlight. And you, the leaf is the paper." I stared at the leaf tightly, motionless. "Come down," I thought to myself, "come down, come down, come down!" But nothing happens. Undaunted, I continued to stare at it.If Arthur can do it, why can't I?I died too, just like him.The only difference might be that he died more thoroughly than me?Or was he dead longer?But if you spend a long time doing something, it doesn't mean that you can do it better.You can do worse because you're bored.If you just died, maybe you still have a fresh energy!

Moreover, how can it be said that one "person" died more thoroughly than another "person"?What standard do you have to say that a "person" is more thorough, more thorough, and most thorough in death? You either die or you don't, you have "no choice".Since this is the case, I must have the same power of thought as Arthur. If Arthur can do it, I must be able to do it too. "Come down," I was still staring at the leaf, "come down, come down! I warn you, come down!" But the leaf remained motionless on the branch. "Come down!" I continued to focus my thoughts on a small dot, and let this small dot be aligned with that leaf, which can be nailed and riveted to that leaf.

"Come down," I ordered it, "Come down!" Just then, it started to move.The leaves really started to move, like the wind blows, and the whole branch started to shake, and the leaves were just struggling on the branches.In fact, it was really windy that day, and you could see the clouds in the sky moving.But I can't feel the wind on my face because I'm dead. I especially miss that feeling, the wind blowing on my face.Maybe you're still alive and don't take it seriously.But I really want that feeling.If I were alive again, I would write an essay titled "Things I Missed After I Died".I don't feel like the breeze is blowing my face anymore, I lost my father, my mother, my sister and so many friends, and I lost all the things you know, football, TV, computer, everything!

The wind was blowing in my face, but I didn't feel it. The leaf was still moving, trembling in the wind, and the sound was like a piece of paper rolled into a bicycle wheel. "Come down!" I was still ordering it, "Come down!" It trembled more violently.I don't quite know if it's me, or the wind, maybe both.Suddenly, the leaf fell, unhurriedly, onto the sidewalk. I was a little bit taken aback, I imagine that's how you react when you do something that you feel sure you can't do.I did it?Is it really me? "Won't it be the wind?" "I should try something else—"

Just then, someone called my name. "Harry, what are you doing? Staring at the sky stupidly, I've been watching you for a long time!" It was Arthur, sitting across from me, on the marble orb on the right. I was a little embarrassed and blushed.I think my face should be red, if I can still blush. "Oh, nothing," I said, "I didn't do anything but sit here and think about something." Arthur floated over from his post and sat down beside me. "Listen, Harry," he said, "I've got to tell you something, and you gotta be careful." "Tell me what?" I asked him absently, my eyes fixed on a leaf I had just discovered.

"This is your old school, isn't it?" Arthur asked me, pointing to the school building in front. "Yeah, come in with me, Arthur," I said, "and I can show you around, and I'll show you my old class, and all my good friends, and—" "No, thank you," said Arthur, "I won't go in, and neither will you." "But, Arthur," I said, a little annoyed, not understanding why he kept objecting. "It's really fun here. The school is completely different now than it was when you were there." "I don't think so," he said. "It doesn't make much difference. Besides, I didn't go to school much." "It's really changed, everything has changed!" "Still the same, reading, writing, and arithmetic. That's how it was 150 years ago. I can't think of anything else that could change in school." Arthur insisted. "But Arthur," I retorted, "I can show you the computer room. I bet you don't have any computers there." Arthur admitted that they didn't have computers at that time, but he said: "Although we don't have computers like yours, we have good tools there, and mechanical ones are better than electric ones. Thank you for your kindness. I have seen it." A computer. It's useless to me, and I can't find my mother with it anyway." I'm a little disappointed, Arthur does look like a redneck.Ordinary country bumpkins, who don't know anything except milking cows, come to a big city, look around with wide-eyed eyes, and say everything they see: "Oh! This is really eye-opening, this is really unprecedented. I've seen it!" But Arthur isn't one of those country bumpkins, I guess he's seen everything, he's been around too long - I think, you know what I mean. 39 "Honestly, Harry," continued Arthur, "I don't like school at all. When I was there, they used to punish the students. I know it was different when you were at school, but you have to be thankful for it. We get punished all the time. Know that when you're punished, you don't like school, all you think about is when it's over. If it's finally over, you have to worry about when the next one will start. So I don't like school at all, not at all!" I stood up from the post. "Very well, then, Arthur," I said, "as you like. I'll go in by myself. If you like, you can go back by yourself." "I'll be waiting for you," said Arthur, "I'm afraid you won't find your way back to the 'other world.'" "No, I'll find it, thanks, Arthur," I said politely, actually mad at Arthur already.Since I can make a leaf fall with my mind, I can go back to "another world" as effortlessly as you. "That's good," said Arthur. "We ghosts come out to wander, just to see what's around. And don't you stay here all the time, or you'll have to stay here forever." "Do not worry." "That's all right!" he said, "but I'll wait for you, and if you don't come out too late, we'll meet again." I jumped off the gatepost and landed on the campus.I remember Arthur seemed to tell me something, but he forgot.But that's okay, I don't worry about it at all. I jumped into the school playground. Arthur was still looking at me.He was wearing clothes more than 100 years ago, sitting at the gate of our school, looking very funny. "Harry," he called to me, "don't think too hard, you know?" "What did you say?" I stopped to look at him. "Don't think too hard! Harry, I mean, that's how other people live, and they live now. I went back once when I just died, to see how things would be without me. Yes, how everyone will miss me..." His voice became smaller and smaller, as if caught in the memory of a very distant event. "What happened then," I asked him, "what happened?" He looked down at me and smiled. "Just don't think too much about it, Harry. Otherwise you'll be disappointed." I don't understand what Arthur means by that.But I can't wait, I have to go to the school right away to see what has changed in my absence. I just can't imagine how things work without me.In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole world ground to a halt because of me.I am not only the best center, but also the "big name" in the class.No matter what questions the teacher asks, I am the first to answer by raising my hand.I'm not saying, of course, that I always get it perfectly right - but at least I'm first!What are they going to do now without me?I really want to go and have a look. L I think, maybe I was gradually forgotten by people, just like I transferred to another school. Day after day, no one thinks of me.It makes me sad, really sad. 40 As soon as I walked into the playground, the get out of class bell rang, the doors of the classrooms were opened, and everyone in the school rushed into the playground.This is the big break in the morning. They all ran past me, all my friends, all my classmates.Some of them went straight through me.I'm kind of excited, I think I should call their names: "Terry! Dan! Dana! Simon! It's me, look, it's me, Harry, it's me! I'm back, I'm back to see you, it's me!" Jeffy Donkins is here too, he's the bad boy I told you about that broke my back.He is tall, fat and fierce.He is holding a plastic football and is looking for someone to play with him.snort!Who will play with him.Nobody would play with him, not even while I was alive, because everybody knew he had a grudge against me.No one will play with him again, no one will ever play with him again! I told you, I hope bad boy Jeffy Donkins will feel sorry for my death and live with a lifelong resentment for not having the chance to apologize to me again, and maybe make it better for him to show his guilt sincerity.Even if the stinky Jeffy turned into a fat and bald old man, he still has to regret it. I stick my tongue out at him. "Bad Jeffy, smelly Jeffy!" But bad boy Jeffy Donkins walked right past me and into the playground. On the playground today is Mr. Diamond, who is still the same height and has a mustache. "Hey, Mr. Diamond. It's me, Harry! How are you?" Of course, he didn't respond, he couldn't see me, he couldn't hear me.I know no one can see me or hear me.But I still want to call them and wave in front of them, and I admit, I'm kind of crazy to do it. Peter came out, he was my best friend, the best.We've all known each other for many, many years.We went to the same kindergarten, the same elementary school, and we were in the same class from the beginning.I can clearly remember that when my mother was angry, she left me behind and ignored me, and I ran after her crying and shouting, and grabbed her hand.But Peter was never like that. As far as I can remember, he always had a smile on my face. We both sit next to each other in the class, right at the front of the classroom.We often eat lunch together and go home after school together. "Hi, Peter!" Although I knew he couldn't hear me, I couldn't help calling him.And, I hope, maybe, we'll have a little telepathy or something, and since I can move a leaf with my mind, maybe I can make living people feel me too.It's entirely possible. "Turn around," I thought, staring at him, "Turn around, Peter. I'm right behind you." With all my strength, I thought. But to no avail, he still didn't turn around. I simply stood next to him, but he put his hands in his pockets and walked into the playground, wanting to find someone else to play with.I know Peter must miss me terribly.Even if no one misses me, Peter will miss me.I'd bet anyone on this one. "I'm here, Peter, next to you." But he was still looking around. "It's me, Harry, I'm Harry." Peter stomped his feet and took his hands out of his pockets. It seemed that it was very cold, he breathed into his hands, and then put his hands under his armpits. In the past, Peter and I often played football between classes, especially in the big recess in the morning, we always played for a while, and sometimes we also played handball.Even if it rains, we have to play on the playground.In the classroom, we also like to play "Pirate Captain", "Find the Bandit" or other games.We always have something to play anyway. Peter is alone now, and no one plays with him.It's kind of pitiful to see him, he doesn't have me for company anymore.Every kid had a great time with everyone else except Peter, who of course was a "person" on the playground just like him.But Peter is still alive, and that's the biggest difference between me and me.Peter just stood there by himself in the playground, waiting to see if someone would call him to play. "Hi Peter!" Peter looked around to see who was calling him. "Peter, Peter!" It was bad boy Jeffy Donkins calling him. Peter ignored him, and I ignored him.But Jeffy barked again. "Peter! Hey, are your ears plugged? You're deaf!" That's all Jeffrey said, never nice words. "What are you doing, Jeffy?" Peter began. Jeffy was about 20 meters away from Peter, and he was still holding the football in his hand. It was obvious that no one wanted to play with Jeffy. "Play football, Peter," said Jeffy, "you're over there, I'm here, and we're kicking back and forth." Peter said nothing. I know what Peter is thinking.He must have thought the same as me.A little scared, I will too.Scared of bad boy Jeffy.Jeffy is my lifelong enemy and wants to stand there and play football with my best friend. Even if it was for me, Peter wouldn't go there, but I'm really worried that bad boy Jeffy will beat Peter for not listening to him.Jeffy would have dared to do that, and I'm really worried for Peter.I really don't want Peter to be beaten up by bad boy Jeffy for me. Peter moved his lips.It must be to suppress the anger in my heart and not let it explode.Peter moved his lips again, and I think Peter will start talking soon, and he will tell bad boy Jeffy that you are not worthy of playing football with me Peter, don't even think about it! I just can't wait for Peter to talk. "Okay, Jeffy, kick it over here." What?I couldn't believe my ears! Jeffy kicked the ball and Peter ran up to catch it.After a while they ran to the other side of the playground. Jeffy tried to snatch the ball from Peter. He snatched it, and Peter chased him again. Kick in the temporary goal. Jeffy ran to the gate to keep it. Peter kicked it wrong the first time, and he kicked it three times in a row to get in.Peter was jumping and jumping for joy as usual when he scored a goal.Jeffy sat down on the football, too. "Haha! Haha!" Peter laughed louder. He ran over and kicked the ball from under Jeffy's ass, and Jeffy simply lay down on the playground.Peter flung himself on top of Jeffy too, looking like they were best friends in the world.After a while, five more people came to play with them. I can only stand by and watch.I can't believe that my best "best buddy" and biggest "mortal enemy" are playing football together, and they are so happy like that.I'm so sad, what happened?How did it happen?Why is everything so messed up? I looked back towards the school gate to see if Arthur was still watching me, I wished he had gone.But he is still there, still in his original position.And Arthur looked at me with pitiful and sympathetic eyes. Although he didn't quite know my relationship with Peter, he probably guessed everything. I turned around quickly, pretended not to look at him, and went to watch other people playing games again. Seeing your best "best buddy" play with your worst "nemesis" and have such a good time, it's a tough feeling.They act like no one else!To be honest, I kind of hate Peter!I turned my head away from them. 41 I walked across the playground to check out the worms I was raising in a big box on the side of the dirt road.But I found that there was no soil in the box. Someone must have cleaned it up. Maybe those earthworms were dead, just like me. I look everywhere for the traces I left, for things that remind me of me.I stood on top of the climbing pole and looked down.Just this spring, I was the first to climb to the top of the pole, and I was still "swinging" on the top of the pole.But now no one can think of it anymore, and my famous "playing on the swing" is gone forever like me. I went back to the playground and went to each pair that was talking, to see if they could mention me, Vanessa and Mike, Tom and Clive—did no one remember me?I even went straight to them and yelled in their faces and in their ears. "It's me! It's me! Old Harry, I'm back to see you. Don't you remember me? Don't you remember me? Don't you know who I am?" Finally I asked them, "Don't you want to me?" The only one who could hear me was the old kid, Arthur, over 150 years old, sitting quietly on the marble orb on the gate post.He pulled his hat down and looked at me with that sympathetic look that I hated. I want old friends, old schoolmates to recognize me, whether it's the people who used to be nice to me, got into fights with me, attended my birthday party, or got into trouble with me all the time.Is there no one who misses me?Did they all forget about me in just a few short weeks?Is there no one who still thinks of me? It seems that none of them can think of me. Look at how happy they are on the playground.The games on the school playground seem to never stop, as if as long as the game can continue, it doesn't matter who is playing, as long as the game can continue forever. Thinking of this, I feel a little sad. Erie, Fran, Chase, Trevor—I think of a lot of my friends from the past. They all moved to other schools to study.I remember I missed them for a while.I even wrote to Chase!He wrote back telling me about his new home, his new school, and how he was getting along with his new classmates. But when I feel that writing letters is a nuisance, I don't write anymore, and I think he feels the same as me, so he doesn't write to me anymore.Gradually, I stopped thinking about him so much, and eventually I hardly mentioned him at all.The situation with Fran and Trevor is similar.I hadn't thought of them for years and only happened to think of them today. Possibly the same is true of Peter.At first he missed me so much, and day by day, he missed me less and less.That may be the case, and I will gradually forget about Peter.Besides, it's kind of selfish to make Peter think about me every day and never make new friends. I thought of Iri again. He turned out to be very nice to me, and Peter got angry.It's the same way I get angry watching Peter and Jeffy play.Actually, I never asked Peter before if he thought Jeffy was a big bad too.I used to think that there was no need to ask at all, and Peter must have thought the same thing as I did. I think, maybe I was gradually forgotten by people, just like I transferred to another school.Day after day, no one thinks of me.It makes me sad, really sad. But I still want to give it a try-try one last time to see if any teacher can think of me, the best student.I'm sure some teachers will think of me, I've told you that I'm always the first student to raise their hand and answer a question.Sometimes I even called out the answer before the teacher finished talking about the question.Of course, not every teacher likes me like this.In fact, many times my answer was not right at all, maybe it was the right answer, but it was not the right answer to the question the teacher asked, it was the right answer to something else. "You're always like a machine gun, Harry!" they always say to me, "Don't be too edgy, be careful!" Maybe I was like that, and I still am to this day. I crossed the playground - nearly flying over the head of Mr. Diamond, the teacher on duty. "Mr. Diamond," I said through the air, "this is Harry, just take a look at me—" But he didn't hear me calling him at all, and he certainly didn't think of me.For he only looked at his watch, and then he took out his whistle from his pocket, and blew it so hard that his face turned red. Looking at his appearance, I wondered if he had a heart attack. If he is really ill, I can help him.I even kind of hope he's actually having a heart attack.If he does go down and die on the playground, he can see me and hear me.I would tell him a lot about death.I think he would definitely like to listen.You know, how good it is to see familiar faces in an unfamiliar environment!I'd introduce Arthur to him, I'd tell him about the "clerk's desk," take him to register, show him "the other world," be his guide, and show him where the "Cerulean the other side of the Mr. Diamond puffed out his cheeks and whistled again, louder this time.There's nothing wrong with his heart, I thought, just as strong as a bull. Of course, I don't really want Mr. Diamond dead, I never mean that.I just want him to know that I'm right in front of him, talking to him, and have so much more to tell him, and I can't wait. He blew the whistle for the third time. "Lesson time, class time," cried Mr. Diamond. "Go back to classes." But no one on the playground listened to him, and everyone kept playing.Running, jumping, kicking the ball, throwing the bag, it seems that blowing the whistle again will not work. ——Of course, in the end, no one has to go back to class.