Chapter 28 Water Tiger-1

water tiger Akutagawa Ryunosuke (please read kappa) ①The original text is Kappa, an amphibian in Japanese folklore, with a face like a tiger and scales on its body, shaped like a four- or five-year-old child. sequence This is a story that a patient (No. 23) in a mental hospital told everyone he met.This lunatic may be in his thirties, but he looks quite young at first glance.Half his life's experience—no, let's leave it alone.He just held his knees motionless, looking out of the window occasionally (outside the window with the iron grille, a live oak tree that has lost all its dead leaves stretched its branches into the air where a snowstorm was brewing), and told Dean S The doctor and I babbled on the story.Of course, he wasn't standing still.For example, when he said "surprised", he suddenly tilted his face back...

I feel confident recording his words fairly accurately.If anyone is still dissatisfied after reading my notes, please visit the S Mental Hospital in the village of ×× outside Tokyo.The faceless No. 23 will inevitably nod respectfully first, and point to the chair without cushions for you to sit down.Then the story will be retold peacefully with a melancholy smile.At last—and I remember his look when he finished telling the story—he raised his fists as soon as he got up, and yelled at everyone, "Get out, you bastard! You're a stupid, suspicious, obscene, Brazen, arrogant, brutal, self-serving animal. Get out of here, bastard!"

one In the summer three years ago, I packed my backpack like everyone else and set off from the hot spring hotel in Kamikochi to climb Mt. Hotaka.You also know that to go up Mt. Hotaka, the only way is to go upstream along the Azusa River.I've climbed Mt. Gundake before, and Mt. Hotaka is no problem.So I didn't even bring a guide, so I climbed to the Azusagawa Gorge, which was filled with dawn mist.The Azusagawa Gorge filled with dawn mist—however, the fog did not dissipate, but thickened instead.I walked for about an hour, and at one point planned to turn back to the hot spring hotel in Kamikochi.However, we had to wait until the fog had cleared to return to Kamikochi.The fog kept getting thicker and thicker.Whatever, Yu Jian climbed up. ——I thought so.So, in order to travel along the Azusa River Gorge, we passed through the dwarf bamboo forest.

However, there is still a thick fog covering my eyes.Of course, thick beeches and fir branches with green leaves are sometimes faintly visible through the fog.The grazing cows and horses also suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.But as soon as these things appeared, they were hidden in the mist again.Before long, my legs were sore and my stomach was hungry—and my mountaineering clothes and blankets, which were soaked in the fog, were also very heavy.I finally gave in, and walked down the Azusa River Gorge following the sound of water gushing out of the rocks. I sat down on a rock by the water and was about to eat.Opening a can of beef, making a bonfire with dead branches, and doing such things took ten minutes.The fog that was always against people began to dissipate at some point.While eating bread, I looked at my watch, it was past one twenty.What surprised me even more was that there was a horrible face reflected on the round glass face of the watch.Startled, I looked back.So——for the first time in my life, I saw a water tiger.There was a water tiger on the rocks behind me, just like the one in the painting.It hugged the birch trunk, built a pergola with its hands, and looked down at me curiously.

I froze, unable to move for a moment.Shuihu also seemed taken aback, and didn't even move his hands covering his eyes.After a while, I jumped up and rushed to the water tiger standing on the rock.At this time, the water tiger ran away.No, it probably escaped, because it flashed its body and immediately disappeared without a trace.I became more and more surprised, and looked around the bamboo forest.It turned out that Shuihu made a posture of fleeing, and turned around to look at me from a distance of two or three meters.This is not surprising, what is surprising is the color of Shuihu's body.When I looked at me from the rock, the water tiger was gray, but now it was green.I yelled: "Beast!" I threw myself at the water tiger again.Of course the water tiger ran away.So, I went through the bamboo forest, over the rocks, and chased desperately for half an hour.

The water tiger outruns the monkey.I kept chasing it, and almost couldn't find it several times.I also slipped my feet repeatedly and fell down.Fortunately, when the water tiger ran under a big oak tree with strong branches, a cow grazing there blocked its way—and it was another bull with thick horns and bloodshot eyes.As soon as Shuihu caught a glimpse of the bull, he screamed in alarm and ran into the tall bamboo bushes like somersaulting.I thought to myself: It’s all right now, so I jumped in immediately.Didn't realize there was a cave there.As soon as my fingertips touched the slippery spine of the water tiger, I suddenly fell headlong into the dark abyss.Even in the nick of time, we human beings will turn some wild thoughts.While I was stunned, I remembered that there was a "Suitora Bridge" next to the hot spring hotel in Kamikochi.Then—after that I don't remember anything.I just felt staring at the stars, and I didn't know when I lost consciousness.

two After finally waking up, I opened my eyes and saw that I was lying on my back, surrounded by a large group of water tigers.There was a water tiger, wearing a pince-nez over its thick lips, kneeling beside me with a stethoscope on my chest.When the water tiger saw that I opened my eyes, it gestured to me to "quiet a moment", and greeted the water tiger behind me, "Quax, quax!" The two water tigers brought a stretcher out of nowhere.I was carried on a stretcher surrounded by a large pack of water tigers.We advanced silently for several hundred meters.The streets on both sides are no different from Ginza Street.Behind the row of beech villages, there are also various shops lined up with sunshade curtains on the windows, and several cars are speeding along the avenue.

The stretcher soon turned into a narrow alley, and I was carried into a house.I later learned that it was the home of a water tiger with a pince-nez, a doctor named Chaka.Chaka let me sleep on a clean and comfortable bed and gave me a glass of clear potion.I slept in bed, at the mercy of Chaka.To be honest, my joints were so sore that I could barely move. Chaka must come to see me two or three times a day.The water tiger I first saw, a fisherman named Bark, came about once every three days.Water tigers are far more familiar with humans than we are with them.This is probably due to the fact that water tigers capture much more humans than we humans do.It may not be appropriate to say that it is captured, but we humans have often visited the water tiger country before me, and there are many people who have lived in the water tiger country all their lives.why?Because here, we can eat for nothing simply by virtue of the privilege that we are not water tigers but human beings.According to Bark, a young road builder came here by chance, married a female water tiger, and died here.Speaking of which, this female water tiger is not only the most beautiful in the country, but she is also very good at coaxing her husband (road builder).

About a week later, according to the laws of this country, I lived next door to Chaka as a "specially protected citizen".Although my house is small, it is well built.Of course, in terms of civilization, this country is not much different from our human country—at least from Japan.In the corner of the living room facing the street was a small piano.There were framed etchings and things hanging on the walls.However, the size of the house and the size of the tables and chairs are in proportion to Shuihu's figure, as if he ran into a child's room.This is the only inconvenience.

Every evening I invite Chakha and Balak to come to my room and learn the language of water tigers from them.And not only them.Because everyone is curious about me as a special guardian, even Gal, the owner of the glass company who called Chaka to take his blood pressure every day, came to this room.But in the first half of the month, the fisherman Baluo was the closest to me. On a warm evening, I sat opposite the table in this room with the fisherman Bark.For some reason, Bark suddenly fell silent, staring at me with his big eyes wide open.Of course I was puzzled, so I asked: "Quax, Bag, quo quel quan?" Like a frog jumping, it means that it is about to jump.I became more and more frightened, and quietly stood up from the chair, intending to sprint to the door.Fortunately, Doctor Chaka just arrived.

"Hey, Baku, what are you doing?" Chaka said, wearing a pince-nez, staring at Baku ruthlessly. Barlo seemed panicked, touched his head several times, and apologized to Chaka: "I'm really sorry. It's funny to make this master afraid, so I worked hard and teased him. Master, please forgive me." Bar." three Before going on, I have to explain what a water tiger is.There are still doubts about whether the water tiger exists or not.But for me, since I have lived with them, there should be no doubt about it.So what kind of animal is it?Needless to say, there are short hairs on the head, and the fact that there are webs on the hands and feet is also roughly consistent with the records in "Water Tiger Kaolue".It is one meter high.According to Dr. Chaka, there are twenty or thirty pounds—there are occasional large water tigers in the fifty or so.There is an oval piece on the top of the head that goes back into it, and it seems to get harder with age.The hollow on the top of the old Balak's head was completely different to the touch from that of the young Chaka.The strangest thing is the color of the water tiger.Water tigers don't have a fixed skin color like us humans, but always change with the surrounding environment - for example, if they stay in the grass, they will turn grass green; when they come to rocks, they will turn gray like rocks up.Of course, not only water tigers, but also chameleons.Perhaps in terms of skin tissue, water tigers are similar to chameleons, and it is unknown.When I discovered this fact, I remembered the folklore record that the water tigers in the west are green, and the water tigers in the northeast are red.I also thought of the time when I was chasing Balgo and he suddenly disappeared from sight.Moreover, water tigers probably have thick fat under their skin. Although the temperature in this underground country is relatively low (average around 50 degrees Fahrenheit), they don't know how to wear clothes.Needless to say, every water tiger wears glasses and carries cigarette packs and purses.Just like a kangaroo, a water tiger has a pouch on its belly, so it is not inconvenient to carry these things.I find it ridiculous that they don't even cover their waists.Once when I asked Bark why he had such a habit, Bark turned his back to the sky, giggled non-stop, and replied, "I think it's ridiculous for you to cover up." Four I gradually learned to speak the daily language of the water tiger, and thus also understood the customs and habits of the water tiger.What puzzles me the most is this absurd habit: what we human beings regard as serious, water tigers find it ridiculous;For example, we human beings take justice and humanity as a matter of course; however, when Shuihu heard this, he burst out laughing.In other words, their concept of funny is completely different from ours.Once, I was talking to Dr. Chaka about birth control.So Chaggy grinned so hard that the pince-nez almost fell off.Of course I was angry, so I asked him what was so funny.I remember Chaka's answer like this-my account may be slightly different, because I didn't fully understand what Shuihu said at the time. "But it's ridiculous and selfish to only think about the interests of parents." On the other hand, from the perspective of us humans, there is indeed nothing more strange than the birth of water tigers, and soon.I once went to Bark's hut to watch his wife give birth.Water tigers give birth just like us human beings, they need help from doctors and midwives.But when he was about to give birth, the father asked loudly to the mother's lower body like a phone call: "You have to think about whether you want to be born into this world, and then answer me." Baku also knelt down as usual, repeating So to speak.Then rinse your mouth with the antiseptic solution on the table.The baby in his wife's stomach seemed to be suspicious, so she quietly replied: "I don't want to be born. First of all, it would be a disaster just to inherit my father's mental illness. Besides, I think the existence of water tigers is a sin." After hearing this, Bagua scratched his head embarrassingly.The midwife present immediately inserted a thick glass tube into the wife's lower body and injected a liquid.The wife let out a long sigh of relief.At the same time, my big stomach deflated like a hydrogen balloon. Shuihu doll has the ability to give such an answer.Therefore, as soon as it landed, of course it was able to walk and talk.According to Chaka, there was a baby who gave a lecture on whether there is a god or not when he was twenty-six days old.However, it is said that the child died in the second month.Speaking of childbirth, let me tell you about a large poster that I saw by chance on a certain street in the third month after I came to this country.The lower half of the poster shows twelve or thirteen water tigers—some with trumpets and some with swords.The upper half is densely written with the spiral characters used by the water tiger like clockwork.Translated, the meaning is roughly like this (maybe there are some small mistakes, anyway, I wrote down the words spoken aloud by the water tiger named Rapo who walked with me—a student—sentence by sentence): Recruiting the Genetic Volunteer Team—healthy male and female water tigers! In order to eliminate the vicious inheritance, marry the unhealthy male and female water tigers! Of course I also told Rapoor then that such a thing was impossible.So not only Lapu, but all the water tigers gathered near the poster giggled. "Impossible? But listening to what you said, I always feel that you are doing the same thing as us. What do you think the young master fell in love with the maid and the young lady fell in love with the driver? They are all unconsciously eradicating the malignant inheritance." First of all, compared to the human volunteers you talked about the other day—those who kill each other over a railroad—I think our volunteers are much nobler." Rapoor spoke solemnly, but his pot belly kept rising and falling; he seemed to think it was ridiculous.I didn't care about suddenness, and hurried to catch a water tiger.Because I found out that he stole my pen while I was not paying attention.However, the water tiger's skin is slippery, and we can't easily catch it.The water tiger slipped out of my hand and ran away.His thin mosquito-like body was almost lying on the ground. Fives This water tiger named Lapoor took no less care of me than Balok did, especially since he introduced me to the water tiger named Toka.Toka is the poet among the water tigers.Poets have long hair, just like us humans in this respect.In order to relieve my boredom, I often went to Toka's house to play.There was always a row of potted alpine plants in Toka's narrow room. He wrote poems and smoked cigarettes, and his life was quite comfortable.In the corner of the room, a female water tiger (Toka advocates free love, so he does not marry a wife) is knitting or something.As soon as Toka saw me, he smiled and said (of course, the water tiger doesn't look good when it smiles, at least I thought it was scary at first): "Oh, good time, please sit down." Toka loves to talk about the life and art of water tigers.In his opinion, there is nothing more absurd than the normal life of a water tiger.Parents and children, couples, brothers and sisters live together, all with the sole pleasure of torturing each other.Especially the family system is simply ridiculous to the extreme.Once, Toka pointed out the window and spat, "Look how stupid this is!" On the road outside the window, a young water tiger took seven or eight female and male water tigers—two of them resembled him. His parents—all hung on the front and back of his neck, making him walk dying of exhaustion.I admired the self-sacrifice of this young water tiger, and I praised it instead. "Well, you are qualified to be a citizen of this country... Speaking of which, are you a socialist?" Of course I replied: "Qua." (In the language of water tigers, this means: "Yes.") "Then you would sacrifice one genius to a hundred mediocrities." "What kind of doctrine do you advocate? Some people say that Mr. Toka believes in anarchism..." "Me? I'm Superman (literally translated as Super Water Tiger)." Toka said decisively. This Toka also has unique insights in art.According to him, art is free from any domination and is art for art's sake.Therefore, the artist must first be a superman above good and evil.Of course, this is not necessarily Toka's opinion alone, and the poets of Toka's group seem to have almost the same opinion.I often go to the Superman Club with Toka.Gathered there were poets, novelists, dramatists, critics, painters.Musicians, sculptors, and other amateurs of the arts are superhuman.They were always talking cheerfully in the brightly lit living room.Sometimes they triumphantly show superhuman abilities to each other.For example, a female novelist stood on a table and drank sixty bottles of axe for everyone to read.However, when she had drunk the sixtieth bottle, she rolled under the table and immediately died. On a moonlit night, the poet Toka and I walked back from the Superman Club arm in arm.Toka was uncharacteristically depressed and said nothing.After a while, we passed by a small window with lights. In the house, there were two water tigers, male and female, like a couple, sitting around a table with three small water tigers, having dinner. Toka sighed, and suddenly said to me: "I regard myself as a superman's love family, but I still can't help but feel envious when I see that kind of family scene." "However, don't you think that's a contradiction anyway?" But Toka crossed his arms under the moonlight, staring through the small window at the table where the five water tigers were having dinner peacefully.After a while, he replied: "Anyway, the scrambled eggs there are better for your health than being in love." six To be honest, the love of water tigers is very different from that of us humans.Once a female water tiger takes a fancy to a certain male water tiger, she will use all means to mention him.The most honest female water tigers pursue male water tigers desperately.I have seen a female water tiger frantically chasing a male water tiger.Not only that, needless to say the little female water tiger, even her parents and brothers came to chase them together.The male water tiger is the poor one. He tries his best to escape, and even if he is not caught, he will fall ill for two or three months.Once I read Toka's collection of poems at home.At this time, the student named Lapu ran in.Rapo came in somersaulting, fell down on the bed, and said out of breath, "Oops! I've been hugged at last!" I immediately put aside the poetry collection and locked the door behind me.Peering out of the keyhole, a small female water tiger with sulfur powder on her face was still lingering at the door.From that day on, Rapoor slept in my bed for weeks, and his mouth was completely rotted away. Sometimes the male water tiger also desperately chases the female water tiger.In fact, the female water tiger seduces the male to chase her.I've seen male water tigers chasing after females like crazy.The female water tiger deliberately runs away suddenly, stops suddenly, or lies on the ground.And when the emotion is at its highest, the female water tiger will pretend to be exhausted and let the other party catch her easily.The male water tiger I saw hugged the female and rolled on the spot for a while.When he managed to get up, he had a look of disappointment or regret on his face, in short, a pitiful look that was indescribable.That's not too bad.I also saw a small male water tiger chasing a female.As usual, the female water tiger fled seductively.At this moment, a big male water tiger came snorting from the opposite street.The female water tiger happened to catch a glimpse of the male water tiger, and screamed, "It's terrible! Help! That little water tiger is going to kill me!" Of course, the big water tiger immediately caught the little water tiger and put him in the Knocked down in the middle of the road.The little water tiger scratched the air two or three times with its webbed hands, and finally breathed.At this time, the female water tiger was already smiling and hugging the big water tiger's neck tightly. All male water tigers I know have been chased by female water tigers without exception.Even the married Bark was chased and caught two or three times.The philosopher called Marcus (he was a neighbor of the poet Toka) was never caught.One of the reasons is that Marco is extremely ugly.Another reason is that Ma Luo doesn't go out on the street very much, and always stays at home.I also often go to Marco's house to chat.Marco always lights up colorful glass lamps in the dark room, leans on a high table, and reads a thick book desperately.I talked to Marco about the water tiger's love once. "Why doesn't the government strictly ban female water tigers chasing male water tigers?" "One reason is that there are fewer female water tigers among officials. Female water tigers are more jealous than male water tigers. As long as the number of female water tigers increases, the number of male water tigers being chased will definitely decrease. But the effect is also limited. Because among the officials, it is also the female water tiger that chases the male water tiger." "So, the happiest thing is to live like you." Marco got off the chair, held my hands, and said with a sigh, "You are not our water tiger, of course you don't understand. But sometimes I also wish to let that terrible female water tiger chase me." seven I also often go to concerts with the poet Toka.What I can't forget so far is the scene of the third concert.The venue was no different from that in Japan, the seats were also arranged high up in rows, and three or four hundred water tigers were all holding the program list and listening attentively.When I went to the concert for the third time, besides Toka and his tigress, there was the philosopher Marco sitting with me.We sit in the first row.After the cello solo, a water tiger with a pair of squinted eyes walked onto the stage gracefully holding the sheet music.As the program introduced, this is the famous composer Kulabaka.It was printed on the program (you don't need to read the program: Kulabaka is a member of the Superman Club Toka belongs to, and I recognize him): "Lied-Craback" (almost all the programs in this country are written in German. of). ① German: "Song - Kulabaka". Amidst the warm applause, Kulabaka gave us a slight salute, walked to the piano peacefully, and then casually played the lyric poems he wrote and composed.According to Toka, Kulabaka is the most talented musician ever produced in this country.I am not only interested in Kulabaka's music, but also in his remaining skills - lyric poetry, so I listen to the melodious melody of the piano with all my ears.Toka and Marlo are probably more intoxicated than I am.Only Toka's beautiful (or at least they think so) female water tiger clutches the program list tightly, and often sticks out her long tongue anxiously.According to Marlo, she tried to catch Kulabaka more than ten years ago but failed, so she still regards this musician as a thorn in her side. Kulabaka played the piano with full concentration and force.Suddenly a "no playing" resounded like thunder throughout the venue.I was taken aback and couldn't help but turn around.Undoubtedly, it was the policeman sitting in the last row who was a head taller than the other water tigers.When I turned around, the policeman was still sitting still and shouted louder than before: "No playing!" And then... Then there is a big dogfight. "The police are unreasonable!" "Kulabakar, play it down! Play it down!" "Bastard!" Who knows, even threw empty soda bottles, rocks, and half-eaten cucumbers.I was stunned and wanted to ask what happened to Toka.Toka also seemed to be excited. He stood on the chair and kept yelling: "Kulabaka, play it! Play it!" The female water tiger of Toka seemed to have forgotten the old grudge against the musician at some point, and also Shouted: "The police are unreasonable!" He was as excited as Toka.I had no choice but to ask Marco, "What's the matter?" "Eh? In our country, this is a common thing. It's painting, literature and art..." Whenever something flies by, Marco shrinks his neck, and then continues calmly, "Painting , Literature and art, what exactly to express, everyone can see at a glance. Therefore, although this country has never banned the publication of books or painting exhibitions, it has banned music performances. Because only music is the only thing, no matter how scandalous it is. A water tiger without ears doesn't understand." "But do policemen have ears?" "Well, it's hard to say. Probably when listening to the tune just now, it reminded him of the beating of his heart when he slept with his wife." At this moment, the trouble grew bigger and bigger.Kulabaka was still sitting facing the piano, turning his head to look at us with dignity.No matter how imposing he is, he has to dodge those flying things.In other words, every two or three seconds he had to change his position.However, he still roughly maintained the majesty of a great musician, and his squinted eyes were shining brightly.I——in order to avoid risks, I hid behind Toka.But my curiosity prompted me to continue the conversation with Marco: "Isn't this kind of inspection too barbaric?" "Where to say, this is more civilized than any country's inspection. Take so-and-so, a month or so ago..." Just as I said this, an empty bottle happened to hit Marco on the head.He just yelled "Quack" (it was just an interjection) and passed out. Eight Oddly enough, I have a crush on Gal, the owner of the glass company.Gal is a capitalist second to none.Among the water tigers in this country, Gal has a big belly.He sits in an armchair surrounded by a wife who looks like a lychee and a child who looks like a cucumber; almost the embodiment of happiness.Inquisitor Pei Bo and Doctor Chaka often took me to Gale's house for dinner.I also took Garr's letter of introduction to visit various factories that had some relationship with him and his friends, among which I was most interested in the factories that printed books.I walked into the factory with a young Shuihu engineer and was amazed at the progress of Shuihu country's machine industry when I saw the big machines powered by hydroelectric power.I heard that seven million books are printed here a year.What surprised me was not the number of books, but the ease and labor-saving of the manufacturing process.For this country publishes books by pouring paper, ink, and gray powder into the funnel-shaped opening of the machine.Less than five minutes after these raw materials enter the machine, they become books in various formats such as 23, 32, and 46.I watched books of all kinds pouring out of the machine like a waterfall.I asked the puffy-chested water tiger engineer what this gray powder was.Standing in front of the shiny black machine, he replied absent-mindedly, "Is this? It's donkey brains. You just need to dry it and turn it into powder. The current price is two or three cents per ton." Of course, such industrial miracles occur not only in book-making companies, but also in painting-making companies and music-making companies.According to Garr, this country invents an average of seven to eight hundred new machines every month, and everything can be produced on a large scale without manual labor, and as a result, there are as many as forty to fifty thousand water tiger workers who have been fired.Yet in this country I read the newspapers every morning and never see the word "strike."I was puzzled, and when I was invited to Gal's house for dinner with Peep and Chaka, I asked what was going on. "It's all eaten!" Gal said nonchalantly, smoking a cigar after dinner. I don't understand what "it's all eaten" refers to.Chaka, who was wearing pince-nez, probably noticed that I was still in the stuffy gourd, so he explained from the side: "kill all these water tiger workers, and the meat will be used as food. Please read this newspaper. It's just this month With the layoff of 64,769, the price of meat has also dropped." "Are your workers just waiting silently to be killed?" "It's useless to make a fuss, because there's the 'employee slaughter law'," said the scowling Peifu standing in front of a potted red bayberry. Of course I was annoyed.But the host Gaer needless to say, even Peifu and Chaka seemed to take this as a matter of course. Chaka laughed and said to me in a mocking tone: "That is to say, the state will solve the problem of starvation and suicide. Just let them smell the poisonous gas, and it will not be very painful." "But the talking about eating their meat..." "Don't be joking. Marco will laugh when he hears that. In your country, don't working-class girls also work as prostitutes? Eating the meat of tiger employees makes you feel indignant. This is sentimentalism." Hearing our conversation, Gal persuaded me to eat the plate of sandwich bread on the nearby table. He said indifferently: "How about it? Try a piece? It's also made from the meat of the water tiger workers." Of course I was embarrassed.Not only that, amidst the laughter of Peifu and Chaka, I jumped out of the living room of Gal's house.It happened to be a cloudy night, and there was not even a star above the house.I returned to the residence in total darkness, vomiting non-stop all the way, looking through the darkness, the things I vomited were white. Nine However, Gal, the boss of the glass company, is undoubtedly an affable water tiger.I used to go with Gale to the clubs he belonged to and have a good evening.One of the reasons was that it was much more comfortable to stay in this club than the superman club in Toka.And although Gall's words were not as profound as those of the philosopher Marcus, they gave me a glimpse of a brand new world—a vast world.Gal was always stirring the coffee with a spoon of pure gold, and talking jovially. On a foggy night, I listened to Gal talking through a vase full of winter roses.I remember that it was a Secession style room. Needless to say, the entire room, even the tables and chairs were white with fine gold edging.Gal is more pompous than usual, talking about the ruling party - the Quorax Party cabinet with a smile on his face.Carax is nothing more than a meaningless interjection that can only be translated as "oops."In short, this is a political party that claims to be "for the welfare of all water tigers" first. ①Separation is an anti-academic school of art, founded in Vienna in 1897. "The leader of the Karax Party is the famous politician Lopei. Didn't Bismarck once say that 'honesty is the best foreign policy'? But Lopete also applies honesty to domestic affairs..." "But Rope's speech..." "Here, listen to me. It's a lie, of course. But everybody knows he's telling a lie. So it comes down to telling the truth. You call it all a lie, and that's nothing but a lie." Your personal prejudices. I'm going to talk about Rope. Rope leads the Carax Party, and Rope is controlled by the Pou-Fou Daily ("Por-Fou" is also a meaningless interjection. If you insist on translating it, you can only translate it as the president Kuai Kuai of "Ah"). But Kui Kuai is not his own master yet. The one who dominates him is Gal sitting in front of you." "But... blame me for being presumptuous, but isn't your "Pu-Fer Daily" a newspaper that is on the side of the workers? You say that the president of this newspaper, Kuai Kuai, is also under your control, which means..." "Of course the reporters of the "Pu-Fo Daily" are on the side of the workers. But there is no one else who dominates the reporters except Kui Kui. And Kui Kui can't help but invite me to be the backstage boss." Gal was still smiling and fiddling with the pure gold spoon.When I saw Garr like this, I felt less hatred for him than sympathy for the reporters of the Por-Fer Daily. Seeing that I was silent, Gal probably sensed my sympathy immediately, so he puffed up his belly and said, "Well, not all the reporters of the "Pow-Fer Daily" are targeting the workers. We, at least, are targeting us first. Myself, the others are behind.... What's more troublesome is that there is someone who is above me, Gaer. Guess who? That's my wife——the beautiful Mrs. Gaer." Gal Lang laughed up. "That's more like happiness." "Anyway, I'm quite comfortable. But I only open the skylight and speak openly in front of you - in front of you who are not water tigers." "Then, Mrs. Gal is in charge of the Kerax cabinet?" "It's okay to say that....The war seven years ago was indeed caused by a certain female water tiger." "War? Has this country ever been at war?" "Isn't it! There may be a fight at any time in the future. As long as there are neighboring countries..." To be honest, I just realized that the Water Tiger Country is not an isolated country.According to Gal, the water tiger has always taken the otter as its imaginary enemy.And the armament of the otter is no less than that of the water tiger.I'm interested in the war between water tigers and otters. (Because the fact that the water tiger's rival is the otter is a new discovery, even Kunio Yanagida, the author of "Mountain Island People's Tan Ji", does not know, let alone the author of "Shuihu Kalue". ① Yanagida Kunio (1875-1962), Japanese folklorist. “那次战争爆发之前，两国自然都提高警惕，虎视眈眈地窥伺着对方，因为它们彼此都怕对方。后来，住在这个国家的一只水獭去访问某一对水虎夫妇。那只雌水虎的丈夫不务正业，她原打算把他杀死。她丈夫还保了寿险，说不定在一定程度上这也是诱使她谋杀他的原因。” “你认识这对夫妇吗？” “嗯——不，只认得雄的。我老婆说那个雄的是坏蛋，可依我看来，与其说他是坏蛋，倒不如说他是患了被害妄想症的疯子，成天害怕被雌水虎捉住。……于是雌水虎在老公的那杯可可里放了氰化钾。不晓得怎么搞错了，又把它拿给客人水獭喝了。水獭这下当然丧了命。接着……” “接着就打起仗来了吗？” “可不。恰好那只水獭又曾荣获过勋章。” “哪边打赢了？” “自然是我们国家。三十六万九千五百只水虎因而英勇地阵亡了。可是跟敌国比较起来，这点损失算不了什么。我国的皮毛差不多都是水獭皮。那次战争期间，除了制造玻璃之外，我还把煤渣运到战场上。” “运煤渣干什么？” “当然是吃喽。我们水虎只要肚皮饿了，是什么都肯吃的。” “这——请你不要生气。对于在战场上的水虎们来说，这……在我们国家，这可是丑闻呢。” “在这个国家无疑也是个丑闻。可只要本人直言不讳，谁也就不会把它当成丑闻了。哲学家马咯不是也说过吗：”过不讳言，何过之有。 '……何况我除了谋利之外，还有满腔爱国的热情呢！ " 这时俱乐部的侍者刚巧走了进来。他向嘎尔鞠了一躬，像朗诵似的说：“贵府的隔壁着火了。” “着——着火！” 嘎尔惊慌地站起来，我当然也站了起来。 接着侍者镇静地又补了一句：“可是已经扑灭了。” 嘎尔目送着侍者的背影，露出半哭不笑的表情。我望着他的脸，意识到不知从什么时候起，我已恨上这个玻璃公司老板了。然而如今嘎尔并不是作为什么大资本家，而只是以一个普通水虎的身分站在这里。我把花瓶里的冬蔷薇拔出来递给嘎尔。 “火灾虽然熄灭了，尊夫人不免受了场虚惊，你把这带回去吧。” “谢谢。”嘎尔跟我握握手，然后突然咧嘴一笑，小声对我说，“隔壁的房子是我出租给人家的，至少还可以拿到火灾保险金。” 我至今还清清楚楚地记得此刻嘎尔的微笑，是既不能蔑视也不能憎恶的微笑。 ten “你怎么啦？今天情绪怪低沉的……” 火灾的第二天，我叼着烟卷，对坐在我家客厅的椅子上的学生拉卟说。拉卟将右腿跷在左腿上，呆呆地对着地板发怔，连他那烂嘴都几乎看不到了。 “拉卟君，我在问你哪：怎么啦？” “没什么，是一点无聊的小事……”拉卟这才抬起头来，用凄楚的鼻音说，“我今天看着窗外，无意中说了句：”哎呀，捕虫堇开花啦。'我妹妹听了脸色一变，发脾气说：“反正我是捕虫堇呗。'我妈又一向偏袒妹妹，也骂起我来了。” “你说了句'捕虫堇开花啦'，怎么就会把令妹惹恼了呢？” “唔，说不定她是把我的话领会为'捉雄水虎'。这时，跟我妈不和的婶婶也来帮腔，越闹越大发了。而且成年喝得醉醺醺的爹，听到我们在吵架，就不分青红皂白地见人就揍。正闹得不可开交的时候，我弟弟乘机偷了妈妈的钱包，看电影什么的去了。我……我真是……” 拉卟双手捂住脸，一声不响地哭起来。我当然同情他，并且想起了诗人托喀对家族制度的鄙夷。我拍拍拉卟的肩膀，竭力安慰他：“这种事儿很平常，鼓起勇气来吧。” “可是……要是我的嘴没有烂就好了……” “你只有想开一点。咱们到托喀家去吧。” “托喀君看不起我，因为我不能像他那样大胆地抛弃家族。” “那么就到库拉巴喀家去吧。” 那次音乐会以来，我跟库拉巴喀也交上了朋友，就好歹把拉卟带到这位大音乐家的家里去。跟托喀比起来，库拉巴喀过得阔气多了。这并不是说，过得像资本家嘎尔那样。他的房间里摆满了形形色色的古董——塔那格拉①偶人和波斯陶器什么的，放着土耳其式躺椅，库拉巴喀总是在自己的肖像下面跟孩子们一道玩耍。可今天不知怎的，他交抱着双臂，怒容满面地坐在那儿。而且他脚底下到处撒满了碎纸片。拉卟本来是经常和诗人托喀一起跟库拉巴喀见面的，但这副情景大概使他吃了一惊，今天他只是毕恭毕敬地向库拉巴喀鞠个躬，就默默地坐到房间的角落里了。 ①塔那格拉是古希腊的城市，以产泥人著称。 我连招呼也没正经打，就问这位大音乐家：“你怎么啦，库拉巴喀君？” “没怎么着！评论家这种蠢才！说什么我的抒情诗比托喀的差远啦！” “可你是位音乐家呀……” “光这么说还可以容忍。他还说，跟啰喀比起来，我就称不上是音乐家啦！” 啰喀是个常常被拿来跟库拉巴喀相提并论的音乐家。可惜因为他不是超人俱乐部的会员，我连一次也没跟他说过话。不过我多次看到过他的照片：嘴巴是翘起来的，相貌很不寻常。 “啰喀毫无疑问也是个天才。可是他的音乐缺乏洋溢在你的音乐中的那种近代的热情。” “你真这么想吗？” "of course!" 于是，库拉巴喀突然站起来，抓起塔那格拉偶人就狠狠地往地板上一掼。拉卟大概吓得够戗，不知喊了句什么，抬起腿就想溜掉。库拉巴喀向拉卟和我打了个手势，要我们“别害怕”，冷静地说道：“这是因为你也跟俗人一样没有耳力的缘故。我怕啰喀……” “你？不要假装谦虚吧。” “谁假装谦虚？首先，与其在你们面前装样子，还不如我到评论家面前去装呢。我——库拉巴喀是天才。我并不怕啰喀。” “那你怕的是什么？” “怕那个不明真相的东西——也就是说，怕支配啰喀的星星。” “我可不明白是怎么回事。” “这么说就明白了吧：啰喀没有受我的影响。可我不知不觉地却受了他的影响。” “那是因为你的敏感性……” “你听我说，才不是敏感性的问题呢。啰喀一向安于做唯独他能胜任的工作。然而我老是焦躁。从啰喀看来也许只是一步之差。然而依我看来却是十英里之差。” “可您的《英雄曲》……” 库拉巴喀那对眯缝眼儿眯得更细了，他恶狠狠地瞪着拉卟道：“别说啦。你懂什么？我比那些对啰喀低声下气的狗才们要了解他。” “你别那么激动。” “谁愿意激动呢……我总是这么想：冥冥之中仿佛有谁为了嘲弄我库拉巴喀，在把啰喀摆在我前面。哲学家马咯尽管成天在彩色玻璃灯笼下读古书，对这种事却了如指掌。” "why?" “你看看马咯最近写的《傻子的话》这本书吧……” 库拉巴喀递给我——或者毋宁说是丢给我一本书。然后抱着胳膊粗声粗气地说了句：“那么今天就告辞啦。” 我决定跟垂头丧气的拉卟一道再度去逛马路。熙熙攘攘的大街两侧，成行的山毛榉树的树阴下依然是鳞次栉比的形形色色的商店。我们默默地漫步着。这时蓄着长发的诗人托喀踱过来了。 托喀一看见我们，就从肚袋里掏出手绢，一遍又一遍地揩额头，说道：“啊，好久不见了。我今天打算去找库拉巴喀，我已经多日没见到他啦……” 我怕这两位艺术家会吵架，就委婉地向托喀说明库拉巴喀的情绪多么坏。 “是吗？那就算了。库拉巴喀有神经衰弱的毛病。……这两三个星期，我也失眠，苦恼得很。” “你跟我们一道散散步怎么样？” “不，今天失陪啦。哎呀！” 托喀喊罢，紧紧地抓住我的胳膊，而且他浑身冒着冷汗。 "What happened to you?" "What's the matter?" “我觉得有一只绿色的猴子从那辆汽车的窗口伸出脑袋似的。” 我有些替他担心，就劝他去请医生查喀瞧瞧。可是不管怎么劝，托喀也不同意，而且还满腹狐疑地打量我们俩，竟然说出这样的话来：“我决不是无政府主义者。这一点请千万不要忘记。——那么，再见。我绝不去找查喀！” 我们呆呆地伫立在那里，目送着托喀的后影。我们——不，学生拉卟已经不在我身边了，不知什么工夫，他已叉开腿站在马路当中，弯身从胯下观看川流不息的汽车和水虎。 我只当这个水虎也发疯了，就急忙把他拽起来：“这可不是闹着玩的，你干什么？” 拉卟揉揉眼睛，镇静得出奇地回答说：“晤，我太苦闷了，所以倒转过来看看这个世界究竟是什么样子。可还是一样啊。” eleven 以下是哲学家马咯所写的《傻子的话》里的几段：傻子总认为除了自己以外谁都是傻子。 我们之所以爱大自然，说不定是因为大自然既不憎恨也不嫉妒我们。 最明智的生活方式是既蔑视一个时代的风尚，在生活中又丝毫不违背它。 我们最想引为自豪的偏偏是我们所没有的东西。 任何人也不反对打破偶像。同时任何人也不反对成为偶像。然而能够安然坐在偶像的台座上的乃是最受神的恩宠者——傻子、坏蛋或英雄。（这一段有库拉巴喀用爪子抓过的道道。） 我们的生活不可缺少的思想，说不定在三千年以前已经枯竭。我们也许只是在旧的柴火上添加新的火焰而已。 我们的一个特点是常常超然于意识到的一切。 如果说幸福中伴有痛苦，和平中伴有倦怠，那么…… 为自己辩护比为别人辩护要困难。谁不相信，就请看律师。 矜夸、爱欲、疑惑——三千年来，一切罪过都由此而生。同时，一切德行恐怕也发源于此。 减少物质上的欲望并不一定能带来和平。为了获得和平，我们也得减少精神上的欲望。（这一段也有库拉巴喀用爪子抓过的痕迹。） 我们比人类不幸。人类没有水虎开化。（我读到这一段的时候不禁失笑。） 做什么就能完成什么，能完成什么就做什么。我们的生活归根结蒂是不能脱离这样的循环论法的——也就是说，自始至终是不合理的。 波特莱尔变成白痴后，他只用一个词来表达人生观，那就是“女阴”。但这个词并不足以说明他自己。能说明他自己的毋宁是“诗才”，因为他凭借诗才足以维持生活，使他忘了“肚皮”一词。 （这一段上也留有库拉巴喀的爪印。） 如果将理性贯彻始终，我们当然就得否定自己的存在。 将理性奉为神明的伏尔泰之所以能幸福地度过一生，正说明人类没有水虎那样开化。 twelve 一个微寒的下午，我读厌了《傻子的话》，就去造访哲学家马咯。在一个僻静的街角上，一只瘦得像蚊子似的水虎靠着墙发怔呢。这分明是以前偷过我的钢笔的那只水虎。我心想：这下子可好了，就叫住了刚好从那里走过的一个身材魁梧的警察。 “请你审问一下那只水虎。一个来月以前，他偷了我的钢笔。” 警察举起右手拿着的棍子（这个国家的警察不佩剑，却手持水松木制的棍子），向那只水虎招呼了声：“喂！”我以为那只水虎或许会逃跑。想不到他却沉着地走到警察跟前，交抱着胳膊，傲慢地死盯着我和警察的脸。 警察也不生气，从肚袋里掏出记事簿，开始盘问起来：“你叫什么名字？” “咯噜喀。” “职业呢？” “两三天以前还当邮递员来着。” “好的。这个人说你偷了他的钢笔，有这么回事吗？” “有的，一个来月以前偷的。” “偷去做什么？” “想给小孩当玩具。” “小孩呢？”警察这才目光锐利地瞥了那只水虎一眼。 “一个星期以前死掉了。” “带着死亡证明书吗？” 瘦骨嶙嶙的水虎从肚袋里掏出一张纸。警察过了一下目，忽然笑眯眯地拍了拍对方的肩膀说：“好的，辛苦啦。” 我呆若木鸡地凝视着警察。这当儿，瘦水虎嘴里念念有词地撇下我们就走掉了。 我好容易醒悟过来，问警察道：“你为什么不把那只水虎抓起来？” “他没有罪。” “可他偷了我的钢笔……” “不是为了给孩子当玩具吗？可那孩子已经死了。你要是有什么疑问，请查刑法第一千二百八十五条好了。” 话音没落，警察就扬长而去。我只得反复念叨“刑法第一千二百八十五条”，急忙到马咯家去。哲学家马咯一向好客。幽暗的房间里，审判官培卟、医生查喀、玻璃公司经理嘎尔正聚集一堂，抽烟抽得七彩玻璃灯笼下烟雾腾腾。审判官培卟在场，对我来说是再方便不过了。 我一屁股坐在椅子上，不去查刑法第一千二百八十五条，却马上问培卟：“培卟君，恕我唐突，这个国家不处分罪犯吗？” 叼着高级香烟的培卟先从容不迫地喷出一口烟雾，然后无精打采地回答说：“当然要处分，连死刑都有哩！” “可我一个来月以前……” 我把事情的来龙去脉述说了一遍，接着问他刑法第一千二百八十五条是怎么回事。 “嗯，是这样的：”不论犯有何等罪行，促使其犯罪之因素一经消灭后，即不得处分犯罪者。 '拿你这件事来说，那只水虎曾经有过儿子，如今儿子已经死了，所以他所犯的罪自然而然地就勾销了。 " “这太不合理啦。” “别开玩笑啦。对已经不再是父亲的水虎和现在仍然是父亲的水虎等量齐观，那才叫不合理呢。对，对，按照日本的法律，是要等同对待的。在我们看来，觉得挺滑稽的。呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵。”培卟扔掉烟蒂，有气无力地微笑着。 这时，很少跟法律打交道的查喀插了嘴。他把夹鼻眼镜扶扶正，间我道：“日本也有死刑吗？” “那还用说！日本实行绞刑哩。”我对态度冷漠的培卟多少有些反感，就乘机挖苦了一句，“贵国的死刑比日本要来得文明吧？” “当然要文明喽，”培卟依然挺冷静，“敝国不用绞刑。偶尔用一次电刑，但在大多数场合，连电刑也不用，只是把罪名通知犯人罢了。”