Chapter 13 "Duel" XII

twelve The next day, Thursday, Marya Konstantinovna celebrated her Kostya's birthday.She invited everyone to have pies at noon and chocolate tea in the evening.In the evening Laevsky and Nadezhda Fyodorovna went, while the zoologist was already sitting in the drawing-room drinking chocolate tea.He asked Samoylenko: "Have you told him?" "not yet." "Be careful, you don't have to be polite. I don't understand how old these gentlemen are! They clearly knew what the family thought of their concubine, but they wanted to come here. " "If all kinds of prejudices have to be taken care of," said Samoylenko, "people will have nowhere to go."

"Is everyone's hatred of extramarital love and moral corruption a prejudice?" "Of course. It's prejudice, it's jealousy. The soldiers laugh and whistle when they see a girl behaving frivolously. But ask them: what kind of people are they themselves?" "They don't whistle for nothing. Girls suffocate their bastards and are sent out to do hard labor. Anna Karenina jumps under a train and kills herself. In the villages people tar gates. You and I I like Katya's purity for some reason, everyone knows that there is no such thing as pure love, and yet feels a vague need for such a love,—is all this prejudice? This, old man, is natural selection The only thing left in the world, if there were no such mysterious power to regulate the relationship between the sexes, then Mr. Laevsky and his ilk would play their own way, and the human race would degenerate within two years."

Laevsky came into the drawing room.He greeted everyone, shook von Koren's hand, and smiled ingratiatingly.He waited, seized a convenient opportunity, and said to Samoylenko: "Excuse me, Alexandr Daviditch, but I want to speak to you a few words." Samoylenko stood up and put his arms around his waist.They both went to Nikodim Alexandritch's study. "Tomorrow is Friday . . . " said Laevsky, biting his fingernails. "Have you got the money you promised?" "Only got two hundred and ten rubles. The rest can be collected today or tomorrow. Don't worry."

"Thank God! . . . " said Laevsky, sighing.His hands trembled with joy. "You saved me, Alexandr Daviditch. I will swear by God, on my happiness, on anything you approve: I will send you the money as soon as I get there. I will send The old debts will also be remitted to you." "Listen, Vanya . . . " said Samoylenko, touching his buttons and blushing. "I beg your pardon for meddling in your family affairs, but... why don't you go with Nadezhda Fyodorovna?" "Is that possible, monstrosity? One of us must stay, or the creditors will yell. You know, I owe seven hundred rubles to the shop, or more. Look, I will Send them money, gag them, and then she can get out of here."

"Oh. . . but why didn't you send her off first?" "Oh, my God, is it possible?" said Laevsky, looking terrified. "You know, she is a woman. What can she do there alone? What does she know? It will only delay time and cost more money." "There is some truth in that..." Samoylenko thought to himself, but remembering what he had said to von Koren, he lowered his head and said gloomily: "I cannot agree with you. Either you go with her." Go away, or you send her to go first, otherwise... Otherwise, I will not lend you the money. This is my final decision..." He staggered back, hitting his back against the door , flushed, and walked into the living room in a panic.

"Friday, . . . Friday," thought Laevsky, returning to the living room. "Friday……" A servant brought him a cup of chocolate tea.His lips and tongue were sore from the hot chocolate tea, and he thought to himself: "Friday, . He couldn't think of anything but Friday.Only one thing was clear to him, not in his head but in his heart, and that was that he couldn't go on Saturday.Before him stood Nikodim Alexandritch, neatly dressed, with his hair combed at the temples, begging: "Please have something to eat. . . . " Maria Konstantin Novna showed Katya's record book to the guests, and said in a long voice, "It's very rare to study now, very rare! The school has so many requirements.

..." "Mother!" Katya wailed, not knowing where to hide herself from her shyness and praise. Laevsky also looked at the record book and said a few words of praise.Theology class, Russian language, conduct, five points, four points, danced before his eyes, and Friday, which was obsessed with him, Nikodim Alexandritch carefully combed. His long hair, Katya's rosy cheeks—all this formed in him such a boundless and uncontrollable uneasiness that he cried out almost in despair, and asked himself: "Could it be, should I? Can't we go?" People put together two baize tables and sat down to play Post.Laevsky also sat down.

"Friday, . "Friday..." He tried to think about his situation, but was afraid to think about it.He was afraid to admit it: a deception he had set for a long time, but carefully kept from himself, had now been uncovered by the physician.Whenever he thought about his future, he never allowed his thoughts to run wild.He got on the train and left, and his life problems were solved. As for what happened next, he didn't allow himself to think about it any longer.Now and then a thought flashed through his mind, like a distant and dim light in a field, that some distant future, in an alley in Petersburg, he would part with Nadezhda Fyodorovna, for To repay the debt, he had to use small fraudulent means.He only needs to take a fake once, and then a whole new life will come.

And that's all very well: a small falsehood can be exchanged for a great truth. Now, the doctor refuses to borrow money, which blatantly implies that he is cheating.Only then did he understand that not only would he need to fake in the distant future, but he would still have to fake it today, tomorrow, a month later, maybe until the day when his life ended.Indeed, in order to leave the place he would have had to lie to Nadezhda Fyodorovna, to his creditors, and to his superiors.Next, in order to get money in Petersburg, he had to lie to his mother that he had divorced Nadezhda Fyodorovna.

At most his mother would give him money.Besides, when Nadezhda Fyodorovna came to Petersburg, he would have to use a whole series of tricks, big and small, to part with her, which would bring tears, misery, and a horrible life. Lah, remorse, it can be seen that there will be no new life at all.There will only be deception and nothing else.A mountain of hypocrisy rose in Laevsky's imagination. In order to take a leap, to jump over this mountain, and to stop falsifying every detail, one must decide to take a firm action, such as saying nothing, standing up, putting on a hat, no money, no money. Without a word, walk away immediately.But Laevsky felt that this was impossible for him.

"Friday, Friday..." he thought. "Friday..." Little notes were written, folded, and put in an old hat of Nikodim Alexandritch's, and when enough notes had accumulated, Kostya would serve as The postman, walks around the table, handing out notes.The deacon, Katya, and Kostya got funny notes, so they tried to write more funny notes, and they were very happy. "We must talk," Nadezhda Fyodorovna read a little note.She and Marya Konstantinovna exchanged glances, and the lady smiled at her like almond oil and nodded to her frequently. "What are we talking about?" thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. "It's no use talking if all the words can't be said." The simple act of tying Laevsky's cravat before she came out to visit filled her with tenderness and melancholy.That restless look on his face, that dreamy look in his eyes, that pale complexion, that incomprehensible change in him of late, that terrible and hateful secret she was keeping from him, the way her hands tied her bow-tie. Trembling, for some reason, was telling her that their life together would not be long.She looked at him as if she were a god, filled with fear and regret, and thought to herself: "Forgive me, forgive me. . . . " Across the table sat Achmianov, his bewitched black pair. The eyes never let go of her for a moment.She was tormented by lust, and she could not help being ashamed of herself, lest not even melancholy and sorrow could prevent her from succumbing to that impure desire, not today, but tomorrow.She is like an alcoholic who is addicted to alcohol and has no strength to restrain herself. In order not to continue this life which disgraced her and caused Laevsky the humiliation, she decided to leave.She would cry and beg him to let her go, and if he disapproved, she would quietly leave him.She wouldn't tell him what had happened.Let him keep a pure memory of her. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she read. "It was written by Atchmianov," she thought. She would live and work in a remote place, and "anonymously" send money to Laevsky, send him embroidered shirts and tobacco, until she was old, or if he fell seriously ill, You need a nurse to go back to him.When he is old and knows why she left him because she refused to be his wife, he will cherish her sacrifice and forgive her. "Your nose is very long." This was probably written by the deacon or Katya. Nadezhda Fyodorovna imagined that when she parted from Laevsky, she would embrace him tightly, kiss his hand, and swear to love him forever, and then she would go to a remote place, Dwelt among strangers, thinking every day that somewhere she had a friend, someone she loved, someone pure, noble, sublime, who kept a pure memory of her. "If you don't agree to meet with me today, I will take measures, and I guarantee you on my integrity. This is not the way to treat decent people. You have to understand." This is what Kirilin wrote.