Chapter 11 "Duel" Ten

ten About three days after the picnic, Marya Konstantinovna unexpectedly came to Nadezhda Fyodorovna's.Without saying hello and without taking off her hat, she seized Nadezhda Fyodorovna's hands, pressed them to her breast, and said very excitedly: "My dear, I am excited and excited again. Shock. Yesterday our dear physician told my Nikodim Alexandritch that your husband is dead. Tell me, my dear . . . is it true?" "Yes, it is true, he is dead," replied Nadezhda Fyodorovna. "It's dreadful, dreadful, dear! But, as the saying goes, it's a blessing in disguise. Your husband is likely to be a good, fine, holy man, and such men are more needed in heaven than on earth."

Every line and pore of Marya Konstantinovna's face trembled, as if tiny needles were throbbing under the skin.With an almond-oil smile, she gasped and said enthusiastically, "You are free now, my dear. You can now hold your head high and look people in the eye with confidence. From now on, God and man will bless your union with Ivan Andreitch. It is wonderful. I tremble with joy, and I don't know what to say. My dears, I have come to make you happy.  … Nikodim Alexandritch and I are very fond of you, please allow us to bless your legal and pure union. When, when are you planning to marry?"

"I haven't thought about it," said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, withdrawing her hand. "That's impossible, my dear. You've thought, you've thought!" "Really, I haven't thought about it," said Nadezhda Fyodorovna, laughing. "Why should we have a wedding? I don't see why it's necessary. Let's live as we live." "What are you talking about!" said Marya Konstantinovna, startled. "God, what are you talking about!" "If we have a wedding, things won't get any better. On the contrary, things will even get worse. We'll lose our freedom."

"My dear! dear, what are you talking about!" cried Marya Konstantinovna, stepping back and clapping her hands together. "You are so queer! You should be sober! You should be quiet!" "What is security? I haven't lived a good life yet, but you want me to be secure!" Nadezhda Fyodorovna remembered that she had not really lived a good life. After graduating from the Noble Girls' High School, she married a man she did not love, then lived with Laevsky, and lived with him on this bleak coast, hoping that life would be better.Is this life? "But the wedding must be done..." she thought to herself, but she blushed when she thought of Kirilin and Atchmianov, and said: "No, that's not right. Even if Ivan Andreitch Kneel in front of me and ask me to hold a wedding, and I will refuse."

Marya Konstantinovna sat for a minute on the couch, looking sad and serious, gazing at a place, then got up and said coldly: "Good-bye, my dear! I am sorry to disturb you." Yes. But there is one thing I cannot say, but I have to say it to you again: from this day on, the relationship between us is completely broken, and despite my deep respect for Ivan Andreitch, the door of my house is closed to you. It's closed." She said this with a solemnity which subdued herself, and her face trembled again, with a soft, almond oil expression, and she addressed the terrified and bewildered Nadezhda. Fedorovna stretched out her hands and said in a beseeching voice: "My dear, please allow me to be your mother or sister, if only for a minute! I want to talk to you openly and frankly like a mother." Let's talk."

Nadezhda Fyodorovna felt warmth, joy, pity for herself surge in her breast, as if her mother had really come alive and stood before her. She threw her arms round Marya Konstantinovna, and leaned her face on her shoulder. Both of them burst into tears.They sat down on the couch and sobbed for a few minutes without looking at each other, unable to utter a word. "My dear, my child," began Marya Konstantinovna, "I am not afraid of your distress, but I want to tell you some harsh truths." "For God's sake, for God's sake, say it!" "Trust me, my dear. Remember, I am the only one among the ladies in this country who has been with you. You have frightened me from the first day, but I can't bear to despise you as others do. I do good My dear Ivan Andreitch is as sorry for my son as I am for my son. A young man, a guest in a foreign country, inexperienced, weak, without a mother, I am so sorry, so sorry.  … My husband does not Willing to see him, but I persuaded him, ... persuaded him. ... We began to receive Ivan Andreitch, and since we received him, we also received you, otherwise he would feel ashamed I have a daughter and a son... You know, a child's mind is young and his heart is pure...'Whoever stumbles one of these little ones who believe in me...' I welcome you, but Frightened for my children. Ah, when you become a mother you will understand my apprehension. Everyone is secretly amazed that I receive you like a lady (forgive me for saying this) and they suggest to me that... Well, of course, backstabbing and wild speculations are inevitable. . . . I blame you in the depths of my soul, but you are so unfortunate, pitiful, and perverted that I pity you and feel sorry for you."

"But why? Why?" asked Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, trembling all over. "What have I done to offend people?" "You are a great sinner. You have broken the oath you swore to your husband at the altar. You seduce a nice young man who, if he hadn't met you, would probably marry a legal life partner from a respectable family in his own circle, he's now like everybody else.You ruined his youth.You don't have to argue, you don't have to talk, my dear!I do not believe that men are at fault in our sins.This sort of thing is always the woman's fault.Men are always free in domestic life, they live by reason rather than emotion, and there are many things they don't understand, but women do.Everything is up to her.Since God has given her many things, he also has many demands on her.Ah, my dear, God would not have entrusted the upbringing of children to women if women were stupid or weaker than men in this respect.

Next, my dear, you have no shame in performing this debauchery; if someone else were in your place, you would hide from everyone, stay at home, and be seen only in the temple of God. She, she should be pale, and clad in black, and weeping, and every one would say with genuine grief: "God, the angel of sin has come back to you. . . . ' But you, my dear." Yes, you throw away all scruples and live openly and unnaturally, as if proud of your crimes. You play and laugh, I always tremble when I see you, and whenever you are in our house Sitting there, I am afraid that there will be a thunder from the sky, and our house will be smashed into pieces. Don't tell me, my dear, don't tell me!" Marya Konstantinovna noticed that Nadezhda Fyodorovna was going to speak , cried out. "Believe me, I will not deceive you, nor will I hide the truth from your soul. Listen to me, my dear. . . . Noticed. Think about it, your attire is terrible!"

Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, who had always thought herself very well dressed, stopped crying and looked at her in surprise. "Yes, it's terrible!" continued Marya Konstantinovna. "One can judge your character by the strangeness and fancy of your attire alone. People can't help laughing and shrugging their shoulders when they see you. I feel so sorry, so sorry. . . . And please forgive me, my dear." Yes, you don't like cleanliness! You make me tremble when we meet in the shower shed. That dress of yours is all right, but that petticoat, that blouse, . Poor Ivan Andreitch, he has no one to tie his cravat properly either, as you can see from his underwear, his boots, there is no one at home to take care of him. He is with you, my dear! My friend, you are always hungry. Really, if there is no one in the family to worry about samovars and coffee, one has to spend half his salary in taverns. And your family is really scary, scary! There is no one in the whole town. Flies, but there are so many flies in your house that all the plates and saucers are black. The windowsills and the tables, you see, are full of dust, dead flies, glasses. . . . What about here? Dear, until now, your table here has not been cleared. As for your bedroom, people are ashamed to walk in. There are shirts and shorts scattered everywhere, and your various clothes are hung on the wall. Rubber utensils, plates and bowls are placed randomly....My dear! You can’t let your husband see anything. A wife should be clean in front of her husband, like an angel! Every morning, I wake up at dawn and use Wash my face with cold water, lest my Nikodim Alexandritch see that I am sleepy."

"It's all trifles," cried Nadezhda Fyodorovna. "If only I were happy, but I am so distressed!" "Yes, yes, you are very distressed!" sighed Marya Konstantinovna, and could hardly help crying too. "There are still terrible disasters waiting for you in the future! Lonely old age, sickness, and finally waiting to be dealt with at the Last Judgment. ... Terrible, terrible!In front of you, fate stretched out a helping hand to you, but you didn't know good from bad, so you avoided it instead.Let's have a wedding, let's have a wedding! "

"Yes, it must be so, it must be so," said Nadezhda Fyodorovna, "but it won't work!" "why?" "No! Oh, if only you knew!" Nadezhda Fyodorovna wanted to tell about Kirilin, how she had met the young and pretty Achmianov on the pier the night before, and how a wild and ridiculous idea had suddenly come to her mind. , in an attempt to get rid of the three hundred ruble debt.She thought the idea was amusing, and when she came home late at night, she felt that she had become irredeemably corrupt and had sold her soul. She herself did not know how she had come up with such an idea.Now she was tempted to swear before Marya Konstantinovna that she would pay the debt, but tears and shame would not allow her to speak. "I'm leaving," she said. "Let Ivan Andreitch stay here, but I must go." "Where are you going?" "To Russia." "But how do you live there? You don't have any money, you know." "I could work as a translator, or...or start a library. ..." "Don't think about it, my dear. You can only open a library if you have money. Well, now I'm going to part with you. You can settle down and think about it, and come to see me happily tomorrow. That's good! Good! , goodbye, my little angel. Let me kiss you." Marya Konstantinovna kissed Nadezhda Fyodorovna on the forehead, crossed herself on her breast, and went away in silence.It was getting dark, and Olga lit a lamp in the kitchen.Still crying, Nadezhda Fyodorovna went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed.She developed a high fever.She lay there undressed, rolled up her dress, threw it at her feet, and huddled under the covers.She wanted to drink water, but no one came to pour her water. "I'll pay that debt!" she said to herself, and in the stupor she felt as if she were sitting next to a sick man whom she recognized as herself. "I want to pay off that debt. It's foolish to think I'm doing this for money. . . . I'm going to get out of here and send him money in Petersburg. . Hundreds, ... and then another hundred..." Laevsky returned late at night. "First send a hundred ..." Nadezhda Fyodorovna said to him. "Another hundred. . . . " "You ought to have some quinine," he said, and then he thought to himself, "Tomorrow is Wednesday, and the steamer leaves, and I can't make it. So I'll have to stay here until Saturday." Nadezhda Fyodorovna sat up and knelt on the bed. "Did I say anything?" she asked, smiling slightly, her eyes narrowed in the light. "Nothing. The doctor must be sent for tomorrow morning. Go to sleep." He took the pillow and walked towards the door.Ever since he had made up his mind to leave the place and leave Nadyezhda Fyodorovna alone, she had begun to arouse in him feelings of pity and guilt.He felt a little ashamed in her presence, as if he were standing in front of a sick or old horse that was ready to be slaughtered.He stopped at the door and turned to look at her. "At the picnic, I lost my temper and said rude things to you. For God's sake, please forgive me." After saying this, he went to the study, lay down, and did not fall asleep for a long time. The next morning Samoylenko came, in full military uniform, with epaulettes and medals, since it was a holiday. He felt Nadezhda Fyodorovna's pulse and tongue, and then out of her bedroom.Laevsky stood at the door and asked anxiously: "Oh, how? How?" Fear, utter uneasiness, and hope came across his face. "Don't worry, there is no danger," Samoylenko said. "A common fever." "That's not what I asked," said Laevsky, frowning impatiently. "Did you get the money?" "My dear fellow, please forgive me," said Samoylenko in a low voice, looking back at the door with embarrassment. "For God's sake, forgive me! No one has any money left. I'm going to borrow five rubles here and ten rubles here, so I've got a hundred and ten rubles together. I want to talk to someone today." .Be patient." "But the deadline is Saturday!" whispered Laevsky, trembling with anxiety. "For the sake of all saints, get it all together by Saturday! If I can't go on Saturday, I don't need a penny, . . . not a penny! I don't understand how a doctor can have no money! " "God have mercy," Samoylenko said quickly and nervously, even in a shrill voice, "someone else took all my money, and they owed me seven thousand dollars, and I owed them everywhere. I'm in debt. Can it be my fault?" "Then can we get it all together by Saturday? Will it?" "I'll do my best to make it up." "I beg you, dear friend! Be sure to get the money into my hands on Friday morning." Samoylenko sat down to prescribe the medicine, wrote down quinine, kalii bromati④, rhubarb infusion, tincturae gentianae⑤, aquae foeniculi⑥—all these medicines were mixed into a mixture, and pink syrup was added to make the medicine less bitter, and then He left. "Notes" ①See the 18th verse 6 of the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible: "Whosoever causes this little one who believes in Me to stumble, it would be better for a millstone to be hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."— —Editor's note for the Russian version ② refers to the church. ③ Refers to church and royal festivals. ④ Latin: potassium bromide. ⑤ Latin: gentian stomachic agent. ⑥ Latin: fennel water.