Chapter 13 stupid french

stupid french Henry Pulkua, a buffoon from the Hunts Brothers Circus, went to breakfast at the Destov's in Moscow. "Give me a bouillon!" he ordered the waiter. "Excuse me, do you want to add half-boiled eggs?" "No, I'm too full with eggs. . . . Well, just two or three slices of toast. . . . " Purkua waited for the consommé to be served, and began to observe the others.The first thing that caught his eye was a fat, well-looking gentleman sitting at the next table, who was about to eat pancakes. "Hey, there's a lot of food in Russian restaurants!" thought the Frenchman, watching his neighbor pour hot oil over the crepes. "Five pancakes! Could it be that one person can eat so much pasta?"

Meanwhile the neighbor spread caviar on pancakes, cut them in half, and swallowed them all in five minutes. ... "The waiter!" He turned his face to greet the waiter and said. "One more order! Why is the portion of one order so small! You bring me ten or fifteen in one go! Then bring salted sturgeon,...salted salmon or something!" "Strange..." Pulkua thought to himself, looking at his neighbor. "He has already eaten five crepes, and unexpectedly he will eat more! But this phenomenon is not uncommon. . . . I drank two dishes of vegetable soup and ate five mutton cakes.... I heard that there is another disease, which is eating too much...." The waiter put a large pile of pancakes in front of his neighbors, and also brought salty bread. Two dishes of sturgeon and salted salmon.The good-looking gentleman drank a glass of white wine, ate the salt salmon, and then began to eat pancakes.What surprised Pulkua was that he ate with such haste that he barely chewed, like a hungry man. ... "He is clearly ill ..." thought the Frenchman. "Could it be that he, a weirdo, thinks he can finish this big pile of things? His stomach will be full before he eats three cakes, but he has to pay for this big pile!"

"More roe!" cried his neighbor, wiping his oily lips with a napkin. "Don't forget to bring the raw onions!" "But... hey, half of this big pile has been eaten!" The Harlequin was taken aback. "My God, he ate all the salmon? That's just freaking out. ... Does the human stomach have so much room for expansion and contraction?impossible!No matter how much room there is for the stomach to expand and contract, it can never exceed the limit of the stomach... If this gentleman were in our France, someone would put him in an exhibition and charge for the entrance fee.

. . . God, this whole lot is gone! " "Bring a bottle of New York..." said his neighbor, taking the roe and green onions from the waiter. "But you boil the wine. . . . What else do you want? Well, let's bring another pancake. ...just be quick. ……""yes. ...So, what do you want after pancakes? " "Then I'll order something light....You go and order a Russian-style sturgeon soup, and...and...let me think about it, you go!" "Maybe I'm dreaming?" thought the Harlequin in amazement, leaning back in his chair. "This man is looking for death. Eating such a large amount of food is impossible without accidents.

Yes, yes, he is courting death!This can be seen from his melancholy face.Don't these waiters feel suspicious when they see him eating so much?impossible! " Pulkua called the waiter who was serving the guests next door and asked in a low voice, "Listen to me, why do you give him so much food?" "That's, uh...uh...he asked for it himself! How could he not bring it to him?" the waiter said in surprise. "It's strange, but you know, he may sit like this until evening, and keep calling for food! If you don't have the courage to refuse him yourself, you should report to the head waiter and call the police!"

The waiter smiled, shrugged, and walked away. "Barbarians!" said the Frenchman to himself indignantly. "Even if a lunatic or a suicidal person comes to sit down at the table, they will be happy if they can eat an extra ruble of food! It doesn't matter if a person dies, as long as there is money to be made!" "Needless to say, this arrangement is terrible!" said the neighbor, turning to the Frenchman. "This long wait makes me mad! Between two courses, I'm sorry, half an hour's wait! It's a waste of appetite and a waste of time. . . . It's three o'clock, But I'm going to a commemorative luncheon at five o'clock."

"Pardon, monsieur," said Pulkua, turning pale, "you're having lunch!" "No, no. . . . How can this be lunch? It's breakfast, . . . crepes. . . . "At this time, the mixed soup requested by the neighbor came.He scooped up a plateful for himself, sprinkled Kern paprika on it, and drank it. ... "Poor thing ..." the Frenchman went on thinking in horror. "Either he was ill and ignored his dangerous symptoms, or he did it on purpose, . . . with suicidal intent. . . . Never come here! My nerves can't bear the sight!" The Frenchman began to look at his neighbor's face with pity, always apprehensive of the convulsions which his uncle Francois always suffered after that dangerous bet. ... "It seems that this is a young and intelligent man, ... full of energy, ..." he thought to himself, looking at his neighbor. "Perhaps he will be of service to his country in the future, . Determined to take this step? . . . Couldn't he have chosen another way of dying? God knows how cheap he thinks life is! But it's so good that I sit here and don't go to him and help him Despicable, unreasonable! Maybe, he can be saved! Maybe this person can be saved!"

Purkua got up resolutely from the table and walked towards his neighbor. "Listen to me, monsieur," he said to him in a low, gentle voice. "It's a pity that I don't know you, but please believe me, I am your friend. . . . How can I help you? Remember that you are still young, . . . you have a wife and children. . . . " "I don't know what you mean!" said the neighbor, looking at the Frenchman with wide-eyed eyes, and shaking his head. "Well, why don't you keep it secret, monsieur? You know I can see very clearly! You eat so much that... it's hard not to be suspicious. . . . " "I eat a lot?!" Neighbor said in surprise. "Me?! Come on. . . . I haven't eaten since I got up early in the morning. How can I not eat?"

"But you eat too much!" "But you don't need to pay for it! Why should you worry? And I don't eat much at all! Look, I eat like everyone else!" Purkua looked around and was startled.Many waiters crowded and bumped into each other, all carrying huge piles of pancakes. . . . there were people sitting at those tables, all eating great piles of crepes, salmon, roe, . "O country of wonders!" thought Purkua, coming out of the restaurant. "With them, not only the climate, but even the human stomach can perform miracles! Oh, this country, the wonderful country!"

"Notes" ①That is the above-mentioned Purkua (this is the surname of the French). ② French place names. ③French: Excuse me, sir. ④ An extremely spicy chili powder.