Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen

In the first three letters, my father was concerned that I hadn't written, and he asked me why.In the last letter he hinted that he had been informed of the change in my life, and informed me that he would soon be in Paris. I have always respected my father and have a very sincere affection for him. I therefore wrote back to him, saying that my non-response was due to an excursion, and asking him to give me the date of his arrival in advance, so that I could fetch him. I gave my servant my address in the country, and ordered him to deliver it to me as soon as he received a postmarked letter from C, and I returned to Bougival at once.

Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate. Her eyes looked sad.She hugged me and couldn't help asking me: "Have you met Prudence?" "No." "How did you stay in Paris so long?" "I had several letters from my father and I had to write back to him." In a moment Nanine came in, panting.Margaret stood up, went over and whispered something to her. As soon as Nanine had gone out, Marguerite sat down beside me again, took my hand and said: "Why did you lie to me? You went to Prudence's." "Who told you that?" "Nanina."

"How did she know?" "She followed you just now." "Did you tell her to follow me?" "Yes. You haven't left me for four months. I think you must have some important reason for going to Paris. I'm afraid that something bad will happen to you, or you will see other women." "childish!" "Now I'm relieved, I know what you did just now, but I don't know what others said to you yet." I showed Marguerite my father's letter. "That's not what I'm asking you. What I want to know is why you went to Prudence's."

"Go see her." "You lie, my friend." "Then I'm going to ask her if your horse is ready, and your shawl, and your jewellery, if she still needs them." Margaret blushed, but she didn't answer. "So," I went on, "I also know what you have done with your horses, your shawls, and your diamonds." "So you blame me?" "I blame you for not thinking of asking me for what you need." "In a relationship like ours, if a woman has any self-respect, she should endure all possible sacrifices and never ask her lover for money, otherwise her love is no different from prostitution. You love me , I totally believe it. But you don't know how fragile that kind of love is for a woman like me. Who would have guessed? Maybe on some difficult or troubled day, you will imagine our love as a well-planned Prudence likes to talk. What use are I for these horses? I can save some money by selling them. I can live without horses and save some maintenance fees. My only request is that you always Unfailing love. If I had no horses, no shawls, no diamonds, you would love me just as much."

These words were spoken so calmly that tears almost flowed from my eyes. "But, my good Marguerite," I replied, pressing my mistress's hand affectionately, "you know very well that I shall one day learn of your sacrifice, and then I cannot stand it. " "Why can't you bear it?" "Because, my dear child, I would not have you sacrifice even one of your jewels to love me. I also would not have thought, when you were embarrassed or bored, that if you lived with someone else, It wouldn't have happened. I don't want you to regret for a minute that you followed me. In a few days, your horses, your diamonds, and your shawls will be returned to you. As necessary as air is to life. It may be ridiculous, but I love you more in luxury than in simplicity."

"Then you don't love me anymore." "You're crazy!" "If you love me, let me love you the way I love you, otherwise you'll just continue to see me as an extravagant girl who always feels compelled to give me money. You're ashamed Accept my confession of your love. You cannot help thinking that one day you will leave me, and therefore you are careful not to be suspected. You are right, my friend, but my original hope is more than that." Marguerite made a movement to get up, but I took her and said to her: "I hope you are happy and that you have nothing to blame me for, that's all."

"Then we're breaking up!" "Why, Margaret? Who can separate us?" I said aloud. "You, you don't want me to know your situation, you want me to keep my vanity to gratify yours, you want to keep my old luxury, you want to keep the distance between us; you, in short, You don't believe my selfless love for you, you don't believe that I am willing to share weal and woe with you, we could have lived happily together with your wealth, but you would rather ruin yourself, your prejudice is too deep-rooted Yes. Do you think I will compare your love with cars and jewelry? Do you think I will regard vanity as happiness? A person can be satisfied with vanity when there is no love in his heart, but once there is love, vanity becomes It's so vulgar. You have to pay off my debts on my behalf, spend all your own money, and finally you will support me! Even if this is the case, how long can it last? Two or three months? Then live according to my way It's too late, because then you'll have to obey me in everything, and a gentleman doesn't disdain to do that. Now you have an annual pension of eight or ten thousand francs, and with that we can live on. I sell my extra things, and I get two thousand livres a year. Let's rent a nice little apartment, two people live in it. In summer we go to the country, don't live like this a small room big enough for two. You have nothing to worry about, I am at ease, we are young, and for God's sake, Armand, don't let me go back to the kind of place I used to be. Live as you must."

I could not answer, tears of gratitude and affection blurred my eyes, and I threw myself into Marguerite's arms. "I thought," she went on, "to arrange everything without telling you, to pay off my debts, and to have my new house furnished. By the time we returned to Paris in October, everything would be over." Ready; but since Prudence has told you all, you must agree instead of admitting afterwards... Can you love me so much?" It was impossible to refuse such a sincere love, and I passionately kissed Marguerite's hand and said to her: "I listen to you in everything."

Thus was the plan she had decided upon. So she was wildly happy, dancing and singing, celebrating her modest new home, which she had already negotiated with me about which neighborhood to look for and how it would be furnished. I could see that she was both happy and proud of the idea, as if we would be inseparable forever. I don't want to accept her kindness in vain. In a moment I decided my future life, I arranged my property, and gave Marguerite the annuity I had received from my mother, which seemed to me to be in return for the sacrifices I had received. Coming is not enough. I have left to myself an allowance of five thousand francs a year from my father, which, whatever happens, will be sufficient to live on.

I made this arrangement without telling Marguerite.Because I am convinced that she will refuse this gift. The annuity came from the mortgage on a house worth sixty thousand francs.I have never seen this house before.All I know is that every quarter my father's notary--a family friend--pays me seven hundred and fifty francs on a receipt. On the day Marguerite and I returned to Paris to look for a house, I went to the notary and asked him what I should do in order to transfer the annuity to another person. Thinking I was broke, this well-meaning man asked me why I had made this decision.As sooner or later I had to tell him who the beneficiary of my transfer was, I thought it best to tell him the truth at once.

As a notary or as a friend, he had every right to object; but he had no objection, and he assured me that he would try to get the matter done. Of course I told him to keep it a secret from my father.Then I went back to Marguerite, who was waiting for me at Julie Dupra's house.She would rather go to Julie's than to hear Prudence preach. We started looking for a house.Margaret thought all the houses we had seen were too expensive, but I thought they were too simple.At last, however, we came to an agreement and decided to rent a small house in one of the quietest neighborhoods of Paris, which was an annex to a larger house, but independent. There is also a beautiful little garden attached to the back of this small house. The walls around the garden are high and low, which can separate us from our neighbors without obstructing the view. This is better than we had hoped. Marguerite went to a broker while I went home to sell my old house.According to her, this man had done something for a friend of hers that she was now asking him to do. She was very happy to come back to me in the Rue de Provence again.The broker agreed to settle all her debts, to deliver to her the settled bill, and to give her another twenty thousand francs in exchange for giving up all her furniture. You have seen that, judging by the sale price, the honest man probably earned his client more than thirty thousand francs. We happily returned to Bougival to continue discussing future plans.Because we are carefree, and especially because our love is as deep as the sea, we always feel that the future is infinitely bright. A week later, while we were having lunch, Nanine came in suddenly and said that my servant wanted to see me. I call him in. "Monsieur," he said to me, "your father has come to Paris, and he begs you to come home at once; he is waiting for you there." This news was a very common thing, but when Margaret and I heard it, we looked at each other in blank dismay. We guessed that disaster was imminent. So, though she did not tell me the thoughts we shared, I held out my hand to her, and answered her: "Don't be afraid of anything." "You try to come back as soon as possible," Marguerite murmured, kissing me, "I'll wait for you at the window." I sent Joseph to tell my father I'd be right there. Sure enough, two hours later, I was in the Rue de Provence.