Chapter 10 chapter Ten

The room in which she had taken refuge was lit only by a single candle, which lay on the table.She was reclining on a big sofa with her skirt open, one hand resting on her heart, the other hanging out of the sofa, and on the table was a silver washbasin half filled with clean water; Marble streaks of blood floated in the water. Margaret's face was pale, her mouth was half-opened, and she tried her best to catch her breath. She took a deep breath from time to time, and then let out a long hiss, as if it would be easier and comfortable for a few seconds. I went up to her, she didn't move, I sat down and took her hand that was resting on the sofa.

"Ah! Is that you?" she said to me, smiling. I probably had a nervous look on my face, because she then asked me, "Are you sick too?" "I'm not sick, but what about you, do you still feel sick?" "A little more," she said, wiping away the tears she coughed up with her handkerchief, "I'm used to it now." "You are committing suicide, ma'am," I said to her in an excited voice, "I want to be your friend and kinsman, and I want to persuade you not to spoil yourself like this." "Ah! You needn't make such a fuss," she argued, in somewhat poignant tones, "and you'll see if other people care about me, because they know very well that there's no cure for this disease."

After she finished speaking, she stood up, took the candle, put it on the fireplace, and looked in the mirror. "How pale I am!" she said, fastening her dress, and running her fingers through her straggly hair. "Ah, all right! Let's go back to the table, come." But I still sit still. She knew that my emotion was aroused by this scene, so she approached me, held out her hand to me and said: "Look at you, come on." I took her hand, put it on my lips and kissed it, and two drops of tears that I had endured for a long time flowed out involuntarily, moistening her hand.

"Oh, how childish!" she said, sitting down beside me again. "Oh, you're crying! What's the matter with you?" "You must think me a little crazy, but what I have just seen makes me very sad." "You are so kind! What do you want me to do? I can't sleep at night, so I'll have to have a little fun; besides, with a girl like me, what does it matter if there is one more or less? The doctor told me it was a bronchi. Bleeding, I pretended to believe what they said, what else could I do to them?" "Listen, Marguerite," I said, unable to contain my emotion any longer, "I don't know what effect you will have on my life, but all I know is that at the moment It's you I care about most, more than anyone else, even my sister. I've had it since I met you. Well, for heaven's sake, Take good care of your body, don't live like you are now!"

"If I take care of my body, I will die instead. What sustains me now is this crazy life I live now. When it comes to taking care of my body, it only refers to those upper-class people who have families and friends. As the ladies say, and us, if we fail to gratify the vanity of our lovers, to provide them with pleasure and amusement, they will put us aside, and we will have to live the days and years of suffering, I know all these things, huh! I was in bed for two months, and after the third week no one came to see me." "I am really nothing to you," I continued, "but if you don't dislike me, I will take care of you like a brother and never leave you. I will cure your illness. Wait for your health After recovery, you may resume your present life if you like; but I am sure you will enjoy the quiet life, which will make you happier and make you beautiful forever."

"It's because you're drunk and sad that you think so this evening, but you won't have the patience you boast of." "Please listen to me tell you, Marguerite, you were ill for two months, and during these two months, I came to inquire about your condition every day." "That's true, but why don't you come upstairs?" "Because I didn't know you then." "What is there to be ashamed of a girl like me?" "It's always kind of awkward to be with a woman, at least I think so." "So, are you really going to take care of me?"

"yes." "Do you stay with me every day?" "yes." "Even the same every night?" "Anytime is the same, as long as you don't hate me." "What do you call it?" "loyalty." "Where does this loyalty come from?" "From a pity I cannot restrain for you." "So you are in love with me? Wouldn't it be easier just to say so?" "It is possible, but, if I were to tell you one day, it would not be today." "You'd better never speak ill of me." "why?"

"Because there can only be two outcomes for such a confession." "Which two kinds?" "Either I reject you and you resent me; or I accept you and you have a sentimental mistress; a nervous woman, a sick woman, a melancholy woman, a happy hour A woman who is more sad than pain, a woman who vomits blood and costs a hundred thousand francs a year, is fine for a rich old man like the duke, but troublesome for a young man like you .All my former young lovers left me quickly, and that's the proof." I didn't answer anything, listening to this almost confessional confession, I vaguely saw her life of luxury and luxury concealed a painful life.The poor girl escapes the realities of life in debauchery, alcoholism, and sleeplessness.I was so overwhelmed by all this that I could not utter a word.

"Come on," Marguerite went on, "we're talking childishly. Give me your hand, and let's go back to the dining room together, and don't let them know what we're doing." "Go as you please, but I beg you to allow me to stay here." "why?" "Because your pleasure pains me so much." "Well, then, I'll just grimace." "Ah, Marguerite, let me tell you something that people may often tell you, and you don't take it seriously because you're used to it. But it's really in my heart I will never tell you a second time again."

"What's the matter?..." she said to me with the smile that young mothers often wear when they hear their children say silly things. "Since I saw you, I don't know how, let alone why, you have taken a place in my life, I tried to forget you, but I couldn't, your image Always on my mind. I haven't seen you for two years, but today, when I meet you, your place in my heart is even more important. Finally, you received today Me, I know you, I know all your strange encounters, you have become an indispensable person in my life, don't say you don't love me, even if you don't let me love you, I will go crazy."

"But how poor you are, I'm going to tell you what Madame D said, 'Then you're rich!' Don't you know that I spend six or seven thousand francs a month. This expense has become a necessity of my life, and don't you know, poor friend, that in a very short time I will bankrupt you. Your family will stop providing you with all expenses, so as to teach you not to follow me. Such a woman to live with. Love me like a good friend, but not more than that. You come and see me often, we talk and laugh, but don't think too much of me, because I'm worthless You have a good heart, you need love. But you are too young and too sentimental to live in our circle, you'd better find a married woman to be your mistress. You see, what a good man I am Girl, how frankly I speak to you." ①Referring to Mrs. Duvernoy. "Hey! What the hell are you doing here?" cried Prudence suddenly at the door, and when she came, we didn't hear a bit.Her hair was shaggy and her clothes were disheveled, which I could see as Gaston's handiwork. "We're talking business," said Margaret. "Let's talk a little more, and we'll be back in a minute." "Well, well, talk, boys," said Prudence, and went away.While closing the door, as if to accentuate the tone of the few words she just said. "It is settled," continued Marguerite, when we were alone, "that you will not love me any more." "I'll be leaving right away." "Has it come to this?" I'm really stuck, and besides, this girl has driven me out of my wits.This mixture of joy and sorrow, of innocence and sensuality, and the disease that made her nervous and impulsive, taught me that if I could not control this frivolity and Forgetful woman, I will lose her. "So, are you telling the truth?" she said. "Totally true." "Then why didn't you tell me earlier?" "When will I have the opportunity to say these things to you?" "You could tell me the day after you were introduced to me at the Opera Comique." "I thought you would not welcome me if I came to see you." "why?" "Because I was a little silly the night before." "That's true, but didn't you fall in love with me then?" "yes." "In that case, you can go home and sleep in peace after the play. That's what these great loves are, and we know that." "Then you are mistaken. Do you know what I did that night after I left the Comique Opera?" "I have no idea." "I waited for you at the door of the British cafe first, and then followed the car you and your three friends took to your door. When I saw you got out of the car alone and went home alone, I felt very sad. Happy." Margaret smiled. "What are you laughing at?" "there is nothing." "Tell me, I beg you, or I thought you were still making fun of me." "Won't you be angry?" "What right do I have to be angry?" "Well, I have a wonderful reason for going home alone." "what reason?" "Someone is waiting for me here." Even if she gave me a knife, it would not hurt me more than this. I stood up and held out my hand to her. "Goodbye," I said to her. "I knew you'd be offended," she said. "Men are always eager to know what hurts them." "But, I assure you," I went on icily, as if to prove that I had completely controlled my passion, "I assure you that I am not angry. It is quite natural for someone to wait for you, as I It is as natural as saying goodbye at three o'clock in the morning." "Is there someone waiting for you at home?" "No, but I must go." "Good-bye, then." "Are you sending me away?" "Nothing." "Why do you make me suffer?" "What have I tormented you with?" "You told me someone was waiting for you then." "I can't help laughing when I think of how glad you were to see me come home alone, and then for such a wonderful reason." “We often have a childlike joy, and it would be vicious to destroy it if only its preservation would make the person happier.” "But what do you think of me? I'm neither a maiden nor a duchess. I've only met you today, so what should I do if I should be your mistress some day? You should also know that besides you, I have other lovers. If you are jealous of me before you become my lover, then in the future, even if there is a "future", what should I do? I Never have I seen a man like you." "Because no one ever loved you like I did." "Well, tell your heart, do you really love me?" "I think, I can love as much as I can." "And all this from...?" "It's been three years since the day I saw you get out of the carriage and go into Seuse's shop." "You speak so beautifully, do you know? But how can I repay this great love?" "Such a little love should be given to me," I said, my heart beating so hard that I could hardly speak, for in spite of Marguerite's ironic smile as she spoke, it seemed to me that she too A little distraught as I am, the moment I've been waiting for is approaching. "Then what is the duke to do?" "Which duke?" "My old vinegar jar." "He won't know anything." "What if he knows?" "He will forgive you." "Oh, no! He won't want me, so what should I do?" "Aren't you taking such risks for others?" "How do you know?" "Didn't you just tell people not to come in tonight? I know that." "It's true, but this is a polite friend." "Since you keep him out of the door so late, it means you don't value him very much." "There is no need for you to lecture me, for this is for the reception of you, you and your friends." I have slowly approached Margaret, I gently put my arms around her waist, and her lithe and soft body is already in my arms. "You know how much I love you!" I said softly to her. "Really?" "I swear to you." "Then I may love you if you promise to do everything as I want, without saying anything, without spying on me, without questioning me." "I listen to you all!" "Before I say something, I can do as I like, and I won't tell you the details of my life. I have been looking for a long time for a young obedient lover, who will be affectionate to me, and he accepts I love but don't claim rights. I have never found such a person. Men are always like this. Once they get what they used to be hard to get, after a long time, they feel dissatisfied again. They then demand to know their lover's present, past, and even future situation. After they gradually get acquainted with their lover, they want to control her. The more accommodating the lover is, the more they will push her further. If I make up my mind to find another lover now , I want him to have three rare qualities: trust me, listen to me, and don't talk too much." "I can do all of these things." "Let's see it later!" "When?" "In a little while." "why?" "Because," said Marguerite, wrenching herself from my arms, and plucking one of the large bouquet of red camellias that came in the morning, and sticking it in my buttonhole, "because the treaty is never signed It was carried out that day." This is not difficult to understand. "Then when shall I see you again?" I said, holding her tightly in my arms. "When this camellia changes color." "So when will it change color?" "Tomorrow night, between eleven o'clock and twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, are you satisfied?" "Do you still need to ask?" "You don't tell anyone about it, whether it's your friend, Prudence, or anyone else." "I promise you." "Now, give me a kiss, and let's go back to the dining room." Her lips came to me, and then she rearranged her hair again, and she sang as we walked out of this room; and I, almost lost my mind. On entering the drawing-room she stopped and said to me in a low voice: "You should feel a little surprised that I seem to be ready to accept your love immediately. Do you know the reason for this?" "Because," she went on, pressing my hand on her chest, and I felt her heart beating violently, "this is because, obviously, my life span is shorter than other people's, and I To live a happier life.” "Don't talk to me like that again, I beg you." "Oh! don't worry," she went on, laughing, "even if I don't live long, I'll live longer than you love me." Then she went into the dining room. "Where is Nanine?" she asked, seeing Gaston and Prudence alone. "She is dozing in your room, waiting to put you to bed," replied Prudence. "Poor her! I've worn her out! Now, gentlemen, come on, it's time." Ten minutes later Gaston and I left, Marguerite shook hands with me, and Prudence remained. "Well," Gaston asked me, when we had left the house, "how do you like Marguerite?" "She's a celestial being, and I'm really fascinated by her." "I expected it a long time ago. Have you told her this?" "said." "Did she say, then, that she believed you?" "did not say." "Prudence is different." "Has Prudence promised you?" "Not only yes, my dear! You won't believe it, but she's so funny, fat Duvernoir!"