Chapter 3 third chapter

First of all, I feel that the place where I live is not suitable.One is because it is too close to the sea, the terrain is low and humid, and it is not hygienic; the other is that there is no fresh water nearby.I have to find a more hygienic and convenient place to build my own residence. According to my own situation, I have drawn up several conditions for choosing a residence: first, as I said above, it must be hygienic and have fresh water; second, it must be shaded; third, it must be able to avoid beasts or humans. Fourthly, to be able to see the sea, so that if God should let some ship pass by, I should not lose the chance of escape, because I always have a glimmer of hope that sooner or later I will get out of my present situation.

I searched for a suitable location according to the above conditions, and found that there was a flat land next to a small hillside.The flat side of the hill was steep and straight, like a wall, from which neither man nor beast could come down and attack me.On the rock, there is a recessed place, which looks like the entrance of a cave, but in fact there is no cave inside. In the recessed place of the rock, there is a flat grassland in front, and I decided to pitch a tent here.The level land was not more than a hundred yards wide and not two hundred yards long. If the residence is built well, this flat grassland is like a piece of turf, undulating and stretching outwards from the front of the door to form a gentle slope, until the low land by the sea.Here is the north-northwest of the hill, the hill just blocks the sun during the day, and when the sun turns to the southwest and shines here, it is about to set.

Before pitching my tent, I drew a semicircle in front of the rock wall, about ten yards in radius and twenty yards in diameter. Along this semicircle, I inserted two rows of strong wooden stakes; the wooden stakes were driven into the soil like wooden prongs, with their big ends facing down, about five and a half feet high, and the tops were all sharpened. The distance between the two rows of stakes is less than six inches. Then I took the cables I had cut off from the boat, and stacked them in a semicircle between the two rows of stakes, up to the top, and inserted some stakes two and a half feet high. Support the cable like a horizontal tea on a pillar.The fence was so strong that neither man nor beast could rush in or climb over it.This project took me a lot of time and labor, especially since I had to cut thick branches from the woods to make stakes, transport them to the meadow, and drive them into the soil one by one.

As for the entrance and exit of the residence, I did not make a gate on the fence, but used a short ladder to climb in from the top of the fence, and put the ladder away after entering the inside.In this way, I was protected on all sides, completely cut off from the outside world, and could sleep peacefully at night.However, I later discovered that the enemy I feared need not be so heavily guarded. With great pains I moved all my property, all my provisions, ammunition, arms, and stores, which I have already mentioned, into the hedge, or, as I might say, into the fort.I also built myself a big tent to keep out the rain, because there is a time of year when it rains very hard.I made the tent double; that is, a small one inside, and a large one over the outside, and a large tarpaulin over the top of the big tent.Of course, the oilcloth was also taken down when I collected the canvas on the ship.

I now sleep no longer in the bed that I brought ashore, but in a hammock, which belonged to the ship's mate, and is of good quality. I carried provisions and everything that might be damaged by moisture into the tent.When this work is done, block up the entrances and exits of the fence.Thereafter I climbed the fence with a short ladder, as above said. After this work was done, I began to drill holes in the rock wall again, and carried the excavated earth and stones from the tent to the outside, and piled them along the fence to make a platform, about a foot high.In this way, the tent is my house, and the cave behind the house is my cellar.

These tasks are time-consuming and laborious, but they are finally completed one by one.I will now go back and retrace a few other things that have bothered me.While I was planning to set up a tent and go to the cave, suddenly dark clouds covered, heavy rain poured in, and thunder and lightning struck.In the flash of lightning, the suddenness of the thunderbolt, a thought flitted through my mind like lightning, and surprised me more than the lightning itself: "Oh, my powder!" When it blew up, I was almost completely hopeless.For I not only depended on gunpowder for self-defense, but also hunted for food.At that time, I only thought of gunpowder, but did not think that once the gunpowder exploded, it would be finished by itself.If the gunpowder really exploded, I don't know whose hands I died in.

This storm has left me with lingering fears.Therefore, I put all other work, including pitching tents, building fences, etc., on the sidelines.As soon as the rain stopped, I set to work at once to make little bags and boxes, and to divide the powder into many little packets.In this way, if something happens, it will not be completely blown up.I store the sachets of gunpowder separately, lest one ignite and endanger the other.This work took me two full weeks.The powder was about two hundred and forty pounds, and I divided it into more than a hundred bales.As for the damp keg, I was not apprehensive of any danger, so I put it in the new cave I dug; which I jokingly called my kitchen, and the rest I hid in the crevices of the stones. , to avoid moisture, and carefully mark the storage place.

During the fortnight during which the powder was packed and stored, I took my gun out of the house at least once a day.Doing this can achieve three purposes: first, you can relax; second, you can hunt something to eat; third, you can also learn about the products on the island.When I went out for the first time, I found that there were many goats on the island, which made me very satisfied.But I also found that this is not a good thing for me.Because these goats are timid and cunning, and they run fast, it is really difficult to get close to them.But I am not discouraged, I believe there is always a way to get one.Before long I actually killed one.I first discovered the places where goats often haunted, so I used the method of laying an ambush to obtain my prey.I noticed that if I was in the valley, they would run away in terror even if they were on the rocks; but if they were grazing in the valley and I was standing on the rocks, they would not notice me.I think this is due to the part of the lamb's eyes, so that they can only look down, and it is not easy to see the things above.Therefore, I climbed to the mountain first and shot down from above, which was often easy to hit.The first time I shot, I killed a ewe while it was nursing its lamb, and it made me very sad.After the ewe fell down, the lamb stood beside it blankly; when I picked up the ewe and walked back, the lamb followed me all the way to the outside of the fence.So I put down the ewe, picked up the lamb, entered the wooden fence, and wanted to domesticate it.But the kid just refused to eat, so I had no choice but to kill it and eat it too.These two goats, one large and one small, fed me for a long time, for I had so much left over that I wanted to save as much food as I could, especially bread.

When the house was built, it occurred to me that there must be a place to light the fire, and some firewood to burn.As for how I did this, how to expand the cave, and how to create other living conditions, I think I will talk about it later in due course. Now I would like to talk a little bit about myself, and talk about my views on life.In these aspects, you can imagine that there are indeed many feelings that can be discussed. I feel my prospects are bleak.Because, I was blown to this desert island by a fierce storm, far away from the original route, hundreds of nautical miles away from the normal trade route of human beings.I think it's all due to God's will that I'm lonely and lonely for the rest of my life.Thinking of this, tears welled up in my eyes.Sometimes I can't help but wonder, why does the heaven abuse the creature it created, making it so unfortunate, so helpless, and so depressed and lonely!Under such circumstances, why should we think that life is a gift to us?

However, whenever I think this way, another thought immediately appears in my mind and blames me for not having the above-mentioned thoughts.One day in particular, when I was walking along the seashore with a gun, I thought about my current situation.At this time, my reason comforted me from another side: "Indeed, it is true that you are alone and alone now. But don't you think about it, what about your companions? Where have they gone? When you boarded the boat together, didn't you Are there eleven people? Then, where are the other ten people? Why are they dead and you are the only one left alive? Should you be strong on this isolated island, or go to them? "When I was talking about going to them, I pointed to the sea with my finger—"They have all died in the sea! Really, why don't I think about the truth that good and evil depend on each other and that misfortunes never come singly?" At this time, I thought again, what I have been doing so far Everything you have is rich and abundant, enough to maintain food and clothing.Where would I be now if the big boat hadn't floated up from where it hit the rocks and floated close to shore, giving me time to get everything useful out of it?You know, opportunities like mine now are really once in a lifetime.What would be my condition now, if I were as penniless as when I first came ashore; neither any necessaries of life, nor any implement by which to manufacture them? "Especially," I said aloud to myself, "if I have no gun, no ammunition, no tools to make things, no clothes to wear, no bed to sleep in, no tent to live in, or even anything to cover myself with, what shall I do?" What to do?" But now, I have all these things, and they are quite sufficient, and even if the ammunition runs out later, I can live without a gun.I believe that I will never suffer from cold or hunger in this life, because I have already thought about all kinds of accidents, thinking about the days to come; day.

I confess that, in considering these matters, the danger of the powder being blown up in a single stroke by lightning had not occurred to me; and therefore the sudden thought of this danger, in the midst of thunder and lightning, terrified me.I have described this matter before. Now I begin to lead a lonely and melancholy life; such a life as there is perhaps no such thing in the world as has ever been heard of.I have therefore decided to record the circumstances of my life, from beginning to end, in chronological order.I set foot on this dreadful island on the thirtieth of September, I reckon; it was just at the equinox, and the sun was almost directly above my head.So, as far as I can see, I am in latitude nine degrees twenty-two minutes north. About eleven or twelve days after I went to the island, it suddenly occurred to me that I had no books, pen, and ink, and I must forget to count the dates, and even the Sabbath and working days.To prevent this, I carved with a knife in capital letters the following sentence on a large pillar: "I landed here on September 30, 1659." I made the pillar a The big cross stands where I first landed. On the four sides of this square column, I carved a notch with a knife every day, a notch that doubled in length every seven days, and a notch that doubled in length every month.In this way, I have a calendar, can calculate the day and month. Also, I should mention that I had brought a great deal off the ship, some of which were of little value but of no use, but which I forgot to mention.I here especially mention the paper, pen, and ink; some belongings of the captain, mate, gunner, and carpenter, three or four compasses, some instruments of observation and calculation, sundials, telescopes, maps, and Nautical books and stuff.At that time, I didn't care whether it was useful or not, I packed it up and took it ashore.At the same time I found three more good Bibles, which came with my English shipment.I packed these books in my luggage when I got on the ship.In addition, there were several books in Portuguese, among them two or three Catholic prayer books, and a few other books.So I keep these books carefully.Nor should I forget to tell the reader that there was also a dog and two cats on board.Regarding their strange experience, I will talk about it later in due time.I took both cats ashore; and as for the dog, he swam ashore with me the first time I went aboard, and was my faithful servant for many years afterwards.I don't want anything, I don't need it to help me hunt any animals, and I can't do what my companions do for me, I just want to talk to it, but even this it can't do.As I mentioned before, I found pens, ink, and paper, but I used them sparingly. As you will see, as long as I have ink, I can write down everything as it is, but as soon as the ink is used up, I will use it sparingly. Can't remember because I can't think of any way to make ink. It made me think that, despite all the things I've collected, there are many, many things I'm missing, and ink is one of them.I don't have other things like shovels, pickaxes, shovels, needles and threads for digging or moving the soil.As for underwear and underwear, although they were lacking, I soon got used to them. All work was carried out with great difficulty due to the lack of proper tools.It took me almost a full year to get my little palisade or fence built.In the case of felling stakes, they are heavy, and I do my best to use what I can carry.I spent a long time in the woods felling and whittling the tree, and even more time in moving it back to the house.Sometimes it takes me two days to cut down a stake and bring it back, and drive it into the ground on the third day.As a tool for piling, I first found a piece of heavy wood; then I thought of an iron rod for lifting goods; however, even with an iron rod, the work of piling is still very hard and troublesome. In fact, I have plenty of time, so why bother if the work is a little troublesome?What's more, after the wall is built, what other work is there to do?At least for a while, I didn't think of doing anything else, just walking around the island and looking for food.This is something I do more or less every day. I began to seriously consider the situation and environment I was in, and recorded my daily experience in detail with a pen.I did this not to leave it for future generations to read, because I believe that after me, not many people will come to this desert island; I did this just to express what is in my heart, and I can browse it every day and talk about it for masturbation.Now that I have begun to cheer up, I am no longer discouraged, so I try to cheer myself up.I compare my present misfortunes one by one, in order to keep myself content.According to the format of business bookkeeping, I divided it into "debits" and "credits", and listed my luck and misfortune, advantages and disadvantages in a fair way: Misfortune and harm: I am stranded on a deserted island, and there is no hope of getting out of this predicament. I am the only one left alone, lonely and miserable. I was isolated from the world, like a hermit, an exile. I have no clothes to wear. I am no defense against man or beast. I have no one to talk to, no one to save me. Benefits and Benefits: I am the only child, and all the companions on the boat are buried in the bottom of the sea. Of all the crew, I am alone spared death; and God, having delivered me by his divine power, must deliver me from my present distress. Although the island is desolate, I still have food, so I won't starve to death. I'm in the tropics, and I'm not afraid to wear clothes, even if I have them. On the isolated island where I was stranded, there were no wild beasts like those I saw in Africa.What if I were capsized off the coast of Africa? But God miraculously brought the boat near the coast, and enabled me to take from it many useful things, which I shall use for the rest of my life.However, even in such a situation, good and bad come together, and there is something to be thankful for.I hope that people in the world can learn from my unfortunate experience and lessons.That is, in the midst of all misfortunes, it is possible to compare the misfortunes and the misfortunes one by one, find out the things that can be comforted, and then can be included in the "credit amount" of the account. Now, somewhat relieved by my position, I no longer cast my eyes over the sea, hoping that some ship might pass by.I said I had put these things aside and started planning to get by and improve my life as best I could. I have described my dwelling above.It was a tent set up under the rock, surrounded by a strong wooden fence made of stakes and cables.Now, I can call the fence a fence, because I built a wall of sod out of the fence about two feet thick, and for about a year and a half built some Rafters, covered with branches or whatever else you can get your hands on to keep out the rain.Because, I found that there is always a period of time in a year when it rains heavily. As I said before, I moved everything into this wall, into the cave I dug behind the tent.Now I must add, that at first they were there in such a disorganized pile that they filled the dwelling, and left me no room to turn around.So I started expanding and digging deeper into the cave.Fortunately, the rock texture is a kind of very loose sandstone, which is easy to dig. When I felt that the wall was reinforced enough to defend against the attack of wild animals, I dug to the right of the rock wall, and then turned to the right until the rock wall was dug out. Through it, it leads to the outside of the wall and makes a door for entry and exit. In this way, I not only had an entrance and exit, which became the back door of my tent and storeroom, but also had more places to store my treasures. I now set about making some of the furniture necessary for everyday use, such as chairs and tables, without which I could not enjoy the least pleasures in the world.Without a table, I could write, eat, and do many other things, so life would be no fun at all. So, I got to work.Speaking of this, I must first explain that reasoning is the essence and principle of mathematics. Therefore, if we can analyze and compare everything and think clearly, everyone can master any craft.I have never used any tools in my life, but over time, with my labor, industry, and genius for invention and design, I have finally discovered that I can do anything with the proper tools.Yet, though I had no tools, I made many things, some with only a hatchet and a hatchet.I don't think anyone else would make anything my way, nor would I spend as much labor on it as I did. For example, to make a plank of wood, I first fell down a tree, and laying it across before me, I smoothed both sides with the axe, so that it looked like a plank, and then scraped it smooth with the hand-axe.It is true that in this way a tree can only be made of one plank, but there is no other way, I can only do it with patience, and only with a great deal of time and labor; It's worthless, and it doesn't matter how you use it. As mentioned above, I first made myself a table and a chair, which were made of some short boards I brought back from the ship; Wooden planks, several layers of large wooden frames one and a half feet wide were built along the cave wall, and tools, nails, ironware and other things were placed on them in categories for easy access.I also hammered a number of small wooden pegs into the wall for hanging guns and other things that could be hung. If anyone saw my cave, he would think it was an arsenal, full of guns and ammunition.All the items should be placed in an orderly manner and easy to access.I was immensely relieved to see that everything was in order and well stocked. Now, I have started to keep a diary and write down everything I do every day.Before that, I was in a hurry every day, toiled, and restless.Even keeping a diary is bound to be boring.For example, I will definitely write in my diary: "On September 30th, I escaped from drowning, escaped to the shore, spit out a large amount of seawater poured into my stomach, and regained consciousness slightly. At this time, instead of Thank God for saving my life, instead I ran wildly on the bank, twisted my hands, hit myself on the head and face, yelled about my misfortune, and kept yelling that I am finished, I am finished! Until I am exhausted I had no choice but to fall to the ground to rest, but I didn't dare to sleep, lest I be eaten by wild animals." A few days later, even after I brought all the movable things on the boat ashore, I climbed to the top of the hill every day. , staring blankly at the sea, hoping to see ships passing by.Too much delusion, sometimes I seem to see a shadow of a sail in the far distance, so I am ecstatic, thinking that I have hope; at this time, I want to see it through, but the shadow of the sail disappears without a trace, so I sit on the ground like a child burst into tears. This stupid behavior, on the contrary, increased my troubles. This period of distraction was more or less over, and I got my house and all my belongings in order.Then the table and chairs were finished, and everything was in order, and I began to keep a diary.Now, I have copied the entire diary below (some things mentioned earlier have to be repeated).But then the ink ran out and I had to stop journaling. journal On the thirtieth day of September, 1659, I, poor and unfortunate Robinson Closso, was shipwrecked at sea in a terrible storm, and I was stranded on this deserted island.Let me call this island "Desperate Island".The companions on the same boat were all buried in the belly of the fish, but I myself narrowly escaped death. All day long I was devastated by the desolation of my situation.I had no food, no house, no clothes, no arms, nowhere to run, no hope of rescue, but death, either to be devoured by wild beasts, fed by savages, or starved to death for want of food.When night fell, I slept on a tree for fear of being eaten by wild animals.Although it rained all night, I slept soundly. When I woke up in the early morning of October 1st, I saw that the big boat had floated up with the high tide and rushed to a place very close to the shore.This was much beyond my expectation.To my relief, the ship stood upright and was not broken by the waves.I thought, after the wind dies down, I can go up and get some food and daily necessities for emergency.But thinking about those lost companions made me sad.I thought, if we had all stayed on the ship, we might have saved the ship, or at least not drowned.If our companions survive, we can build a boat out of the lumber that is left of the big ship, and we can take it and row somewhere else.Most of the day, I was troubled by these thoughts.Then, seeing that there was not much water in the boat, I went to the sand nearest to the boat, and swam aboard.It was still raining that day, but there was no wind at all. From October 1st to the 24th, I boarded the boat for several days, moved all the things I could move, and carried them ashore with wooden rafts when the tide was high.It has rained a lot these past few days, sometimes intermittently.It seems that it is the rainy season here. On October 20, the raft overturned, and all the goods on it were overturned into the water, but the water where the raft overturned was very shallow, and the things were very heavy, so they were not washed away.When the tide ebbed, I managed to get a lot of things back. On October 25, it rained all day and night, with strong winds.The wind blew more and more fiercely, and finally smashed the ship into pieces.Fragments of the ship can be seen at low tide, but the ship is no more.All day long I put and covered the things I had brought back from the boat so that they would not be damaged by the rain. On October 26th, I ran on the shore for almost a whole day, trying to find a suitable place to live. What I was most worried about was the safety issue. The place of residence must be able to prevent wild animals or savages from attacking me suddenly at night.In the evening, I finally found a suitable place under a rock.I drew a semicircle as the place to build my dwelling, and decided to place two layers of stakes along that semicircle, with cables in the middle, and turf on the outside, to form a strong fortification, like a wall or Buildings such as fortresses. From the 26th to the 30th, I worked hard and moved all the goods to the new residence, although it sometimes rained heavily. On the morning of the 31st, I took a gun and went deep into the hinterland of the isolated island, one to find something to eat, and the other to check the environment of the island.I killed a mother goat, and one of her lambs followed me home, which I later killed because it would not eat. On November 1st I set up a tent at the foot of the hill. I made the tent as big as possible and put a few stakes inside to hang the hammock. I slept in the tent the first night. On November 2, I piled up all the boxes, planks, and timbers for rafts along the inner side of the semicircle to form a temporary wall as my fortification. On November 3rd I went out with a gun and killed two wild duck-like birds. The meat was delicious and I began to make tables in the afternoon. On the morning of November 4th, start planning your schedule.Time to work, time to go out with a gun, time to sleep, and time to play.My plan is this: Every morning, if it doesn’t rain, I will go out with my gun and run for two or three hours, and then work until about eleven o’clock when I come back; after that, I will have whatever I want to eat; from twelve o’clock to two o’clock is a nap Time, because it is very hot here; start working again in the evening.Today and all of tomorrow's working hours, I'll be working on the desk.At present I am still a poor craftsman, and it takes a lot of time to make one thing.But before long I became a journeyman.If you do too much of something, practice makes perfect, and on the other hand, it is also out of necessity.I believe it can be done by anyone else. November 5th I went out today with my gun, and my dog ​​with me.Killed a wild cat whose fur was soft but whose meat was inedible.Whenever I killed any animal, I peeled off its fur and kept it.When I came back from the beach, I saw all kinds of water birds, and I couldn't even name them.I was also surprised to see two or three seals.When I first saw them, I didn't know what animals they were.Then they swam to the sea.This time, they escaped from my nose. After returning from going out on the morning of November 6th, I continued to make the table, and finally finished it, but it looked ugly, and I was not satisfied with it.Before long, I managed to improve the table a bit. On November 7, the weather began to clear up.I spent the seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, and part of the twelfth (the eleventh being Sunday) making a chair. , not even passable.In the process of doing it, I did it and then took it apart, and I tossed it several times. PS: I will stop going to church soon.Since I forgot to make a notch in the stake, I couldn't remember which day it was. It was raining today, November 13, which was refreshing.It was much cooler, too, but the rain was accompanied by lightning and thunder, which frightened me half to death, and terrified me, for I feared that the powder might be struck by the lightning and blow up.Therefore, as soon as the thunderstorm ceased, I set about dividing the powder into as many packets as possible to avoid accidents. November fourteenth, fifteenth, sixteenth.During these three days I had made many small square boxes, each of which might hold a pound or two of powder.I put the gunpowder in boxes, and stored them carefully and safely separately.One day, I caught a big bird with delicious meat, but I didn't know what it was. Starting today, November 17th, I began to dig holes in the rock wall behind my tent to expand the space of my residence and make life more convenient. PS: To dig a hole, I need three tools above all: a pickaxe, a shovel, and a wheelbarrow or basket.Instead of digging holes, I will consider making some necessary tools.I used a cargo hook instead of a pickaxe and it worked just fine, just a bit heavier.In addition, I need a shovel, which is an important tool for digging. Without a shovel, I can't do anything, but I don't know how to make a shovel. The next day, November 18th, I went to search the woods and found a tree like the Brazilian "iron tree", because the wood of this tree is very hard.It took me so much trouble to get a piece off that it nearly broke my axe.It took a lot of effort to bring the wood back to the house, because this kind of wood is too heavy. This wood is indeed very hard, but I had no other way, so I had a lot of trouble to make a shovel.I slowly whittled the block into the shape of a shovel, the handle of which was exactly like the English shovel, except that the head was not iron-wrapped, so that it was not as durable as a real shovel.However, it can be barely dealt with if necessary.I don't think there is a shovel in the world made like this, and it never took so long to make a shovel. In spite of pickaxes and shovels, there were not enough tools, and I lacked either a basket or a wheelbarrow.I can't make bamboo baskets, because I don't have the thin and soft branches for weaving rattan bark, at least I haven't found them yet.As for the trolley, I think everything can be made except the wheels.But making wheels is not so easy, I just don't know where to start.Also, I couldn't make an iron wheel hub to make the wheel turn.I therefore decided to give up the idea of ​​making a wheel, and to make something like a hopper--the kind of ash-hopper that a handyman uses to carry the plaster for the plasterer, so that the earth dug out of the cave can be carried out. It's not as hard a job as making a shovel.But making these implements—the bucket and shovel, and trying to make a wheelbarrow which I had to give up at last—had taken a total of four days, not counting, of course, the time to go out with the gun each morning.It can be said that there is hardly a day that I do not go out, and it is hardly a day that I do not bring back some game for food. On November 23rd, because of making tools, other work was put on hold. When these tools were finished, I continued to work on the delayed work.I worked every day, as long as I had energy and time, and spent eighteen days enlarging and deepening the cavern; the wider the chamber, the more convenient it was for storing things. P.S. These days, my job is mainly to expand the cavern.The cave thus became my pantry and arsenal, as well as my kitchen, dining room, and cellar. I usually still sleep in a tent, unless in the rainy season, when it rains heavily and the tent leaks, I sleep in the cave.So, I later built all the places in the fence with long wooden strips to look like rafters, set them on rocks, and then spread some grass and big leaves on them to make it look like a thatched hut. On December 10, I thought the digging project had been completed, but suddenly there was a landslide.Maybe I dug the hole too big, and the amount of dirt that fell out of the top and side walls terrified me.I am so frightened, of course, not without reason.If I'd been in the cave when the cave-in fell, I sure as hell wouldn't need a gravedigger.Once this disaster happened, I had a lot of work to do.Not only did I have to transport the fallen loose soil, but I also installed the ceiling and supported it with pillars to avoid another landslide disaster. December 11th Today I started working according to yesterday's plan, using two pillars as supports, and crossing each pillar with two planks to support the roof of the cave.The job was done the next day.I then put up more posts and planks and spent about a week reinforcing the roof.Rows of upright pillars in the cave divide the cave into several rooms. From today to the 20th, December 17th, I installed many wooden frames in the holes, and hammered many nails on the posts, and hung up everything that could be hung.Now, my place looks a little more orderly. On December 20th I moved everything into the cave and began to furnish my dwelling.I used wooden boards to build a shelf like a bowl rack, so I can put food on it.But the planks have become less and less.Also, I made another table. It rained heavily all night and all day on December 24, so I didn't go out. It rained all day on December 25. There was no rain on December 26, the weather was much cooler, and people felt much more refreshed. On December 27th a kid was killed and another kid was crippled in one leg.I caught the lame kid and led him home on a rope. When I got home I tied up the goat's broken leg and put it in a splint. PS: Under my careful care, the injured kid survived and the legs grew back and became very strong.Due to my long-term care, the kid gradually became tame and grazed on the grass in front of my house all day long, refusing to leave.This gave me an idea: I can raise some animals that are easy to tame, so that when the ammunition runs out in the future, I will not worry about having nothing to eat. December 28th, 29th, and 30th were extremely hot and windless.They stay at home all day and go out to look for food in the evening.Organize things at home all day. It was still hot on January 1st.I went out with my gun in the morning and evening, and took a nap at noon.傍晚我深入孤岛中心的山谷里，发现许多野山羊，但极易受惊，难以捕捉。我决定带狗来试试是否能猎取几只。 一月二日照着昨天的想法，我今天带狗外出，叫它去追捕那些山羊；可是，我想错了，山羊不仅不逃，反而一起面对我的狗奋起反抗。狗也知道危险，不敢接近群羊。 一月三日我动手修筑篱笆或围墙，因为我一直担心受到攻击。我要把围墙筑得又厚又坚固。 附记：关于围墙，我前面已交待过了，在日记中，就不再重复已经说过的话了。这里只提一下：从一月三日至四月十四日，我一直在修筑这座围墙。最后终于完成了，并尽可能做得完满。围墙呈半圆形，从岩壁的一边，围向另一边，两处相距约八码，围墙全长仅二十四码，岩洞的门正好处于围墙中部后面。 在这段时间里，我努力工作，尽管雨水耽搁了我许多天，甚至好几个星期。我觉得，围墙不做好，我住在里面就没有安全感。我做的每件工作所花的劳动，简直难以令人置信。尤其是那些木桩，要把木桩从树林里搬回来，又要打进土里，实在非常吃力，因为我把木桩做得太大了，而实际上并不需要那么大。 墙筑好后，又在墙外堆了一层草皮泥，堆得和墙一般高。 这样，我想，即使有人到岛上来，也不一定看得出里面有人，我的这一做法是非常明智的。后来事实证明了这一点。 在此期间，只要雨不大，我总要到树林里去寻找野味，并常有一些新的发现，可以改善我的生活。尤其是我发现了一种野鸽，它们不像斑尾林鸽那样在树上作窠，而像家鸽一样在石穴里作窝。我抓了几只小鸽子，想把它们驯养大。养倒是养大了，可一大就飞走了。想来也许我没有经常给它们喂食；事实上，我也没什么东西可喂它们。然而，我经常找到它们的窝，就捉些小鸽子回来，这种鸽子的肉非常好吃。 在料理家务的过程中，我发现还缺少许多许多东西；有些东西根本没办法制造，事实也确实如此。壁如，我无法制造木桶，因为根本无法把桶箍起来。前面我曾提到，我有一两只小桶；可是，我花了好几个星期的功夫还是做不出一只新桶来。我无法把桶底安上去，也无法把那些薄板拼合得不漏水。最后，我只好放弃了做桶的念头。 其次，我无法制造蜡烛，所以一到天黑就只得上床睡觉。 在这儿一般七点左右天就黑下来了。我记得我曾有过一大块蜜蜡，那是我从萨累的海盗船长手里逃到非洲沿岸的航程中做蜡烛用的，现在早已没有了。我唯一的补救办法是：每当我杀山羊时，把羊油留下来。我用泥土做成一个小盘子，经太阳暴晒成了一个小泥盘，然后把羊油放在泥盘里，再弄松麻绳后取下一些麻絮做灯心。这样总算做成了一盏灯，虽然光线没有蜡烛明亮和稳定，但也至少给了我一点光明。 在我做这些事的时候，我偶尔翻到了一个小布袋。我上面已提到过，这布袋里装了一些谷类，是用来喂家禽的，而不是为这次航行供船员食用的。这袋谷子可能是上次从里斯本出发时带上船的吧。袋里剩下的一点谷类早已被老鼠吃光了，只留下一些尘土和谷壳。因为我很需要这个布袋，就把袋里的尘土和谷壳抖在岩石下的围墙边。当时，想必是我要用这布袋来装火药吧，因为，我记得我给闪电雷鸣吓坏了，急于要把火药分开包装好。 我扔掉这些东西，正是上面提到的那场大雨之前不久的事。扔掉后也就完了，再也没有想起这件事情。大约一个月之后，我发现地上长出了绿色的茎干。起初我以为那只是自己以前没有注意到的某种植物罢了。但不久以后，我看到长出了十一二个穗头，与欧洲的大麦，甚至与英国的大麦一模一样，这使我十分惊讶。 我又惊愕，又困惑，心里的混乱难以用笔墨形容。我这个人不信教，从不以宗教诫律约束自己的行为，认为一切出于偶然，或简单地归之于天意，从不去追问造物主的意愿及其支配世间万物的原则。但当我看到，尽管这儿气候不宜种谷类，却长出了大麦；何况我对这些大麦是怎么长出来的一无所知，自然吃惊不校于是我想到，这只能是上帝显示的奇迹——没有人播种，居然能长出庄稼来。我还想到，这是上帝为了能让我在这荒无人烟的孤岛上活下去才这么做的。 想到这里，我颇为动情，禁不住流下了眼泪。我开始为自己的命运庆幸，这种世间少有的奇事，竟会在我身上发生。 尤其令我感到不可思议的是，在大麦茎干的旁边，沿着岩壁，稀稀落落长出了几枝其他绿色的茎干，显然是稻茎；我认得出那是稻子，因为我在非洲上岸时曾见过这种庄稼。 当时，我不仅认为这些谷类都是老天为了让我活命而赐给我的，并且还相信岛上其他地方一定还有。于是，我在岛上搜遍了我曾经到过的地方，每个角落，每块岩石边我都查看了一遍，想找到麦穗和稻秆，可是，再也找不到了。最后，我终于想起，我曾经有一只放鸡饲料的袋子，我把里面剩下的谷壳抖到了岩壁下。这一想，我惊异的心情一扫而光。老实说，我认为这一切都是极其平常的事，所以我对上帝的感恩之情也随之减退了。然而，对发生这样的奇迹，对意料之外的天意，我还是应该感恩戴德的。老鼠吃掉了绝大部分谷粒，而仅存的十几颗竟然没有坏掉，仿佛从天上掉下来似的，发生这样的奇迹难道不是天意又是什么呢？再说，我把这十几颗谷粒不扔在其他地方，恰恰扔在岩壁下，因而遮住了太阳，使其很快长了出来；如果丢在别处，肯定早就给太阳晒死了，这难道不是天意吗？ 到了大麦成熟的季节，大约是六月底，我小心地把麦穗收藏起来，一颗麦粒也舍不得丢失。我要用这些收获的麦粒作种子重新播种一次，希望将来收获多了，可以用来做面包吃。后来，一直到第四年，我才吃到一点点自己种的粮食，而且也只能吃得非常节剩这些都是后事，我以后自会交待。第一次播种，由于季节不对头，我把全部种子都损失了。因为我正好在旱季来临前播下去，结果种子根本发不了芽，即使长出来了，也长不好。这些都是后话。 除了大麦，另外还有二三十枝稻秆，我同样小心翼翼地把稻谷收藏起来，目的也是为了能再次播种，好自己做面包吃，或干脆煮来吃，因为后来我发现不必老是用烘烤的办法，放在水里煮一下也能吃，当然后来我也烤着吃。现在，再回到我的日记上来吧。 这三四个月，我工作非常努力，修筑好了围墙。到四月十四日，完成了封闭围墙的工作，因为我原来就计划不用门进出，而是用一架梯子越墙而过。这样外来的人就看不出里面是住人的地方。 四月十六日我做好了梯子。我用梯子爬上墙头，再收起来放到围墙的内侧爬下去。围墙是全封闭的；墙内我有足够的活动空间，墙外的人则无法进入墙内，除非也越墙而入。 完成围墙后的第二天，我几乎一下子前功尽弃，而且差点送命。事情是这样的：正当我在帐篷后面的山洞口忙着干活时，突然发生了一件可怕的事情，把我吓得魂不附体。山洞顶上突然倒塌下大量的泥土和石块，从岩壁上也有泥土和石头滚下来，把我竖在洞里的两根柱子一下子都压断了，发出了可怕的爆裂声，我惊慌失措，全不知道究竟发生了什么事，以为只不过像上回那样发生了塌方，洞顶有一部分塌了下来。我怕被土石埋在底下，立即跑向梯子。后来觉得在墙内还不安全，怕山上滚下来的石块打着我，我爬到了围墙外面。等到我下了梯子站到平地上，我才明白发生了可怕的地震。我所站的地方在八分钟内连续摇动了三次。这三次震动，其强烈程度，足以把地面上最坚固的建筑物震倒。离我大约半英里之外靠近海边的一座小山的岩顶，被震得崩裂下来，那山崩地裂的巨响，把我吓得半死，我平生从未听到过这么可怕的声响。这时，大海汹涌震荡，我想海底下一定比岛上震动得更激烈。 我以前从未碰到过地震，也没有听到经历过地震的人谈起过，所以我一时吓得目瞪口呆，魂飞魄散。当时，地动山摇，胃里直想吐，就像晕船一样；而那山石崩裂发出震耳欲聋的巨响，把我从呆若木鸡的状态中惊醒过来，我感到胆战心惊。小山若倒下来，压在帐篷上和全部家用物品上，一下子就会把一切都埋起来。一想到这里，我心里就凉了半截。 第三次震动过后，过了好久，大地不再晃动了，我胆子才渐渐大起来。但我还是不敢爬进墙去，生怕被活埋。我只是呆呆地坐在地上，垂头丧气，闷闷不乐，不知如何才好。在惊恐中，我从未认真地想到上帝，只是像一般人那样有口无心地叫着"上帝啊，发发慈悲吧！"地震一过，连这种叫唤声也没有了。 我正这么呆坐在地上时，忽见阴云四布，好像马上要下雨了。不久，风势渐平，不到半小时，就刮起了可怕的飓风。 顷刻之间，海面上波涛汹涌，惊涛拍岸，浪花四溅，陆地上大树连根拔起。真是一场可怕的大风暴。风暴刮了大约三小时，就开始减退了；又过了两小时，风静了，却下起了滂沱大雨。 在此期间，我一直呆坐在地上，心中既惊恐又苦闷。后来，我突然想到，这场暴风雨是地震之后发生的。看来地震已经过去，我可以冒险回到我的洞室里去了。这样一想，精神再次振作起来，加上大雨也逼得我走投无路，只好爬过围墙，坐到帐篷里去。但大雨倾盆而下，几乎要把帐篷都压塌，我就只好躲到山洞里去，心里却始终惶恐不安，唯恐山顶塌下来把我压死。 这场暴雨逼使我去做一件新的工作。这就是在围墙脚下开一个洞，像一条排水沟，这样就可把水放出去，以免把山洞淹没。在山洞里坐了一会儿，地震再也没有发生，我才稍稍镇静下来。这时我感到十分需要壮壮胆，就走到贮藏室里，倒了一小杯甘蔗酒喝。我喝甘蔗酒一向很节省，因为我知道，喝完后就没有了。 大雨下了整整一夜，第二天又下了大半天，因此我整天不能出门。现在，我心里平静多了，就考虑起今后的生活。我的结论是，既然岛上经常会发生地震，我就不能老住在山洞里。我得考虑在开阔的平地上造一间小茅屋，四面像这里一样围上一道墙，以防野兽或野人的袭击。如果我在这里住下去，迟早会被活埋的。 想到这里，我决定要把帐篷从原来的地方搬开。现在的帐篷正好搭在小山的悬崖下面。如果再发生地震，那悬崖塌下来必定砸倒帐篷。于是我花了两天的时间，即四月十九日和二十日，来计划新的住址以及搬家的方法。 我唯恐被活埋，整夜不得安睡。但想到睡在外面，四周毫无遮挡，心里又同样害怕。而当我环顾四周，看到一切应用物品都安置得井井有条，自己的住地又隐蔽又安全，又极不愿意搬家了。 同时，我也想到，建个新家耗费时日，目前还不得不冒险住在这里。以后，等我建造好一个新的营地，并也像这儿一样保护起来，才能再搬过去。这样决定之后，我心里安定多了，并决定以最快的速度，用木桩和缆索之类的材料照这儿的样子筑一道围墙，再把帐篷搭在围墙里。但在新的营地建造好之前，我还得冒险住在原地。这是四月二十一日的事。 四月二十二日，今天早上，我开始考虑实施我搬家的计划，但却无法解决工具问题。我有三把大斧和许多小斧（我们带了许多小斧，是准备与非洲土人做交易用的），但由于经常用来砍削多节的硬木头，弄得都是缺口，一点也不快了。磨刀砂轮倒是有一个，但我却无法转动磨轮来磨工具。为了设法使磨轮转动，我煞费苦心，犹如政治家思考国家大事，也像法官决定一个人的生死命运。最后，我想出办法，用一根绳子套在一个轮子上，用脚转动轮子，两手就可腾出来磨工具了。 附记：在英国，我从未见过磨刀的工具，即使见过，自己也没注意过这种东西的样子，尽管在英国这种磨刀工具是到处可见的。此外，我的磨轮又大又笨重。我花了整整一个星期，才把这个磨刀机器做好。 四月二十八日、二十九日整整两天，我忙着磨工具。转动磨轮的机器效果不错。 四月三十日我发现食物大大减少了，就仔细检查了一下，决定减为每天只吃一块饼干，这使我心里非常忧虑。 五月一日早晨，我向海面望去，只见潮水已经退了。一个看上去像桶一样的大东西搁浅在岸边。我走过去一看，原来是一只小木桶，另外还有几艘破船的残骸；这些都是被飓风刮到岸上来的。再看看那只破船，只见比先前更高出水面。 我察看了一下冲上岸边的木桶，发现原来是一桶火药，但火药已浸水，结得像石头一样硬。不过，我还是暂时把它滚到岸上。然后踏上沙滩，尽量走近那破船，希望能再弄到点什么东西。 我走近船边，发现船的位置已大大变动了。在此之前，船头是埋在沙里的；现在，至少抬高了六英尺。至于那船尾，在我最后一次上船搜括东西之后不久，就被海浪打得粉碎，脱离了船身；现在，看样子被海水冲到一边去了。在船尾旁，原来是一大片水洼子，约四分之一海里宽；要接近破船，非得游泳不可。而现在，水洼被沙泥壅塞，堆得高高的。所以，一退潮，就可以直接走到船跟前。我起初对这一变化感到有点意外，但不久就马上明白，这是地震的结果。由于地震的激烈震动，船破得更不像样了。每天，总有些东西被海浪从船上打下来，风力和潮水又把这些东西冲到岸上。 这使我把搬家的计划暂时搁置一边。当天，我便想方设法要到船上去。但我发现，船上已没有什么东西可拿了，因为船里都被沙泥堆塞。可是我现在对什么事都不轻易放弃，所以决定把船上能拆下来的东西通通拆下来。我相信，这些东西将来对我总会有些用处的。 五月三日我动手用锯子锯断了一根船梁。我猜想，这根船梁是支撑上面的甲板或后面的甲板的。船梁锯断后，我尽力清除旁边积得很高的泥沙。但不久潮水开始上涨，我不得不暂时放弃这一工作。 五月四日今天去钓鱼，但钓到的鱼没有一条我敢吃的。 我感到不耐烦了，正想离开时，却钓到了一只小海豚。我用绞绳的麻丝做了一根长长的钓鱼线，但我没有鱼钩。不过我还是常能钓到鱼吃。我把钓到的鱼都晒干了再吃。 五月五日在破船上干活。又锯断了一根船梁。从甲板上取下三块松木板，把板捆在一起，趁涨潮时把它们飘到岸上。 五月六日继续上破船干活。从船上取下几根铁条和一些铁器。工作得很辛苦，回来时累坏了，很想放弃这种工作。 五月七日又到破船上去，但不想再干活了。由于船梁已锯断，破船已承受不住自己的重量，因此自己碎裂了。有几块木板散落下来，船舱裂开，看进去里面尽是水和泥沙。 五月八日到破船上去。这次我带了一只起货用的铁钩，撬开了甲板，因为甲板上已没有多少水和沙泥了。我撬下了两块木板，像前次那样趁着潮水送上岸。我把起货铁钩留在船上，以便明天再用。 五月九日到破船上去，用铁钩撬入船身，探到了几只木桶。我用铁钩把这几只桶撬松了，却无法把桶打开。我也探到了那卷英国铅皮，并已拨动了，但实在太重了，根本搬不动。 五月十日、十一日、十二日、十三日、十四日每天上破船，弄到了不少木料和木板，以及二三百磅的铁。 五月十五日我带了两把小斧上船，想用一把小斧的斧口放在那卷铅皮上，再用另一把去敲，试试能不能截一块铅皮下来。但因为铅皮在水下有一英尺半深，根本无法敲到放在铅皮上的手斧。 五月十六日刮了一夜大风，风吹浪打后，那条失事的船显得更破烂不堪了。我在树林里找鸽子吃，耽误了不少时间；等我想上船时，潮水已涨了上来，就无法再到船上去了。 五月十七日我看见几块沉船的残骸飘到岸上，离我差不多有两英里远，决心走过去看个究竟。原来是船头上的一块木料，但太重了，根本搬不动。 五月二十四日几天来，我每天上破船干活。我费尽力气，用起货铁钩撬松了一些东西。潮水一来，竟有几只木桶和两只水手箱子浮了出来。由于风是从岸上吹来的，那天飘到岸上的东西只有几块木料和一桶巴西猪肉，但那肉早被咸水浸坏，且掺杂着泥沙，根本无法食用。 我这样每天除了觅食就上船干活，直到六月十五日。在此期间，我总是涨潮时外出觅食，退潮时就上船干活。这么多天来，我弄到了不少木料和铁器。如果我会造船，就可以造条小艇了。同时，我又先后搞到了好几块铅皮，大约有一百来磅重。 六月十六日走到海边，看到一只大鳖。这是我上岛后第一次看到这种动物。看来，也许我运气不佳，以前一直没有发现，其实这岛上大鳖不少。后来我发现，要是我在岛的另一边居住，我每天肯定可以捉到好几百只，但同时因鳖满为患，将受害不浅。 六月十七日我把那大鳖拿来煮了吃。在它的肚子里，我还挖出了六十只蛋。当时，我感到鳖肉鲜美无比，是我平生尝到的最佳菜肴。因为自从我踏上这可怕的荒岛，除了山羊和飞禽，还没有吃过别的动物的肉呢！ 六月十八日整天下雨，没有出门。我感到这回的雨有点寒意，身子感到有点发冷。我知道，在这个纬度上，这是不常有的事。 六月十九日病得很重，身子直发抖，好像天气太冷了。 六月二十日整夜不能入睡，头很痛，并发热。 六月二十一日全身不舒服。想到自己生病而无人照顾的惨状，不禁怕得要死。自从在赫尔市出发遭遇风暴以来，我第一次祈祷上帝。至于为什么祈祷，祈祷些什么，连自己也说不清楚，因为思绪混乱极了。 六月二十二日身子稍稍舒服一点，但因为生病，还是害怕极了。 六月二十三日病又重了，冷得直发抖，接着是头痛欲裂。 六月二十四日病好多了。 六月二十五日发疟疾，很厉害。发作一次持续七小时，时冷时热，最后终于出了点汗。 六月二十六日好了一点。因为没有东西吃，就带枪出门。身体十分虚弱，但还是打到了一只母山羊。好不容易把山羊拖回家，非常吃力。烤了一点山羊肉吃。很想煮些羊肉汤喝，可是没有锅子。 六月二十七日疟疾再次发作，且来势很凶。在床上躺了一整天，不吃不喝。口里干得要命，但身子太虚弱，连爬起来弄点水喝的力气都没有。再一次祈祷上帝，但头昏昏沉沉的；等头昏过去后，我又不知道该怎样祈祷，只是躺在床上，连声叫喊："上帝，保佑我吧！上帝，可怜我吧！上帝，救救我吧！"这样连续喊了两三小时，寒热渐退，我才昏昏睡去，直到半夜才醒来。醒来后，觉得身子爽快了不少，但仍软弱无力，且口里渴得要命。可是家里没有水，只得躺下等第二天早晨再说。于是，我又睡着了。这一次，我做了一个恶梦。 我梦见我坐在围墙外面的地上，就是地震后刮暴风雨时我坐的地方，看见一个人从一大片乌云中从天而降，四周一片火光。他降落到地上，全身像火一样闪闪发光，使我无法正眼看他。他面目狰狞可怖，非言语所能形容。当他两脚落到地面上时，我仿佛觉得大地都震动了，就像地震发生时一样。更使我惊恐的是，他全身似乎在燃烧，空中火光熠熠。 他一着地，就向我走来，手里拿着一根长矛样的武器，似乎要来杀我。当他走到离我不远的高坡上时，便对我讲话了，那声音真可怕得难以形容。他对我说的话，我只听懂了一句："既然所发生的一切事情都不能使你忏悔，现在就要你的命。"说着，他就举起手中的矛来杀我。 任何人读到我这段记述时，都会感到，这个可怕的梦境，一定把我吓得灵魂出窍，根本无法描绘当时的情景。虽然这仅仅是一个梦，但却十分恐怖。即使醒来后，明知是一场梦，在脑海里留下的印象，也还可怕得难以言传。 God!我不信上帝。虽然小时候父亲一直谆谆教诲我，但八年来，我一直过着水手的生活，染上了水手的种种恶习；我交往的人也都和我一样，邪恶缺德，不信上帝。所以，我从父亲那儿受到的一点点良好的教育，也早就消磨殆尽了。这么多年来，我不记得自己曾经敬仰过上帝，也没有反省过自己的行为。我生性愚蠢，善恶不分。即使在一般水手中，我也算得上是个邪恶之徒：冷酷无情，轻率鲁莽，危难中不知敬畏上帝，遇救时也不知道对上帝感恩。 从我前面的自述中，读者可以知道，至今我已遭遇了种种灾难，但我从未想到这一切都是上帝的意旨，也从未想到这一切都是对我罪孽的惩罚，是对我背逆父亲的行为，对我当前深重的罪行，以及对我邪恶生涯的惩罚。当我不顾一切，冒险去非洲蛮荒的海岸，我从未想到这种冒险生涯会给我带来什么后果，也没有祈祷上帝为我指引一条正路，保佑我脱离身边的危险，免遭野兽或野人的袭击。我完全没有想到上帝，想到天意；我的行为完全像一个畜生，只受自然规律的支配，或只听从常识的驱使，甚至连常识都谈不上。 当我在海上被葡萄牙船长救起来时，受到他优厚、公正和仁慈的待遇，但我心里没有对上帝产生一点感激之情。后来我再度遭受船难，并差一点在这荒岛边淹死，我也毫无忏悔之意，也没有把此当作对我的报应。我只是经常对自己说，我是个"晦气鬼"，生来要吃苦受罪。 确实，我一上岸，发现其他船员全都葬身大海，唯我一人死里逃生，着实惊喜了一番；在狂喜中，我若能想到上帝，就会产生真诚的感恩之情。但我仅仅欣喜一阵子而已，高兴过了也就算了。我对自己说，我庆幸自己能活下来，却没有好好想一下，别人都死了，单单我一人幸免于难，岂不是上帝对我的特殊恩宠；也没有深入思考一下，上天为什么对我如此慈悲。我像一般船员一样，沉船之后，侥幸平安上岸，当然欣喜万分；然后就喝上几杯甜酒，把船难忘得一干二净。我一生就过着这样的生活。 后来，经过了一番思考，对自己的状况有了清醒的认识，知道自己流落到这个可怕的荒岛上，远离人烟，毫无获救的希望。尽管自己知道身陷绝境，但一旦我发现还能活下去，不致饿死，我的一切苦恼也随之烟消云散了。我又开始过着无忧无虑的生活，一心一意干各种活儿以维持自己的生存。我一点也没有想到，我目前的不幸遭遇，是上天对我的惩罚，是上帝对我的报应。说实话，这种思想很少进入我的头脑里。 前面我在日记中已经提到过，在大麦刚刚长出来时，我曾一度想到上帝，并深受感动，因为我最初认为那是上帝显示的神迹。但后来发现这并非是上帝的神迹，我感受的印象也就随之消失了。关于这一点，我前面已记过了。 地震该是大自然最可怕的景象了吧，而且，这往往使人想到冥冥中的那种神力，这种神力往往又与上帝或天意联系在一起。可是，在最初的一阵恐惧过去之后，关于神力和上帝的印象也马上随之消失。我既不觉得有什么上帝，也不认为有所谓上帝的审判，也没有想到我目前可悲的处境是出于上帝的意旨，好像我一直生活得十分优裕舒适似的。 可是现在，我生病了，死亡的悲惨境遇渐渐在我面前呈现。由于病痛，我精神颓丧；由于发热，我体力衰竭。这时，我沉睡已久的良心开始苏醒，并开始责备自己过去的生活。在此之前，我罪大恶极，冒犯了上帝，所以现在上帝来惩罚我，给我以非同寻常的打击，用这种报应的手段来对待我。 我的反省，在我生病的第二天和第三天，把我压得透不过气来。由于发热，也由于良心的谴责，从嘴里逼出了几句类似祈祷的话。然而，这种祈祷，有口无心，既无良好的愿望，也不抱任何希望，只是恐惧和痛苦的呼喊而已。这时，我思想极度混乱，深感自己罪孽深重，而一想到自己将在如此悲惨的境况下死去，更是恐怖万分。我心灵惶恐不安，不知道自己嘴里说了些什么话，只是不断地呼喊着这样的话："上帝啊，我多可怜啊！我生病了，没有人照顾我，我是必死无疑了！我该怎么办啊？"于是，我眼泪夺眶而出，半天说不出话来。 这时，我想起了父亲的忠告，也想到了他老人家的预言。 这些我在故事一开始就提到了。父亲说，我如果执意采取这种愚蠢的行动，那么，上帝一定不会保佑我。When I have nowhere to turn in the future, I will regret that I did not heed his advice.这时，我大声说，现在，父亲的话果然应验了：上帝已经惩罚了我，谁也不能来救我，谁也不能来听我的呼救了。我拒绝了上天的好意，上天原本对我十分慈悲，把我安排在一个优裕的生活环境中，让我幸福舒适地过日子。可是，我自己却身在福中不知福，又不听父母的话来认识这种福份。我使父母为我的愚蠢行为而痛心，而现在，我自己也为我的愚蠢行为所带来的后果而痛心。本来，父母可以帮助我成家立业，过上舒适的生活；然而，我却拒绝了他们的帮助。现在，我不得不在艰难困苦中挣扎，困难之大，连大自然本身都难以忍受。而且，我孤独无援，没有人安慰我，也没有人照应我，也没有人忠告我。想到这里，我又大喊大叫：&qu