Chapter 39 Chapter Thirty-Five Frustrated

Under the shocking news of my aunt, I lost my composure at first.When I had calmed down, I suggested to Mr. Dick that he might go to the grocer and sleep in the bed Mr. Peggotty had left a while ago.The grocery store is in the Hangerford market, and that market was a little different in those days than it is now, with a low fence in front of it, like a house with little men and women in an old barometer The front was the same, so Mr. Dick was delighted.I guess the honor of living in such a building more than compensated for his inconveniences.However, apart from the mixed smell I mentioned and the slightly cramped place, there were actually not many inconveniences in the place, so he was immediately fascinated by his place.Mrs. Crupp had remarked to Mr. Dick indignantly that it was too narrow for teasing a cat, but Mr. Dick sat at the foot of the bed and rubbed his legs and said to me fairly: "You know, Trotwood, I don't Don't tease cats. I don't want cats. So what does it matter to me?"

I would like to try to find out from Mr. Dick whether he knows how the aunt's finances have changed so drastically.As I expected, he also knew nothing.The only thing he could report to me was that his aunt said to him the day before yesterday, "Well, Dick, I take you for a philosopher, do you really?" and he said he was, and he hoped he was.My aunt said, "Dick, I'm broke." He said, "Oh, really!" and my aunt praised him, and he was very happy.That's where they came to find me, bottled stout and sandwiches along the way. Mr. Dick, sitting at the foot of the bed, with wide-eyed smile, told me all this.He was so contented that I couldn't help explaining to him--I regret it even now--that bankruptcy meant misery, privation, starvation; When I had two cheeks, I immediately regretted my hard heart—people who are harder than me will soften their hearts when they look at him.It took me a lot more effort to cheer him up than to put him down.It was not long before I saw—and I should have known—that he was so at ease only because of his infinite faith in the wisest and most wonderful woman, and because of his infinite trust in my wisdom.I believe he thinks I am wise enough to overcome all non-fatal disasters.

"What can we do, Trotwood," said Mr. Dick, "that petition—" "The petition must not be forgotten, of course," said I; "but all we can do now, Mr. Dick, is to keep a cheerful face, and keep my aunt from seeing that we are discussing the subject." He said yes, and he couldn't have been more sincere.He also begged me to warn him in the best way I am good at, should I see any inappropriate behavior in him.But I'm sorry to say that I frightened him so badly that he couldn't hide it no matter how hard he tried.All night, he looked at his aunt sadly, as if he was watching her lose weight a little bit.He realized this too, and tried to control his own head.But although he kept his head still, he sat there and rolled his eyes like a machine, which did not help the matter at all.I saw him stare straight at the bread (it happened to be a small one) at dinner, as if we were on the brink of famine; and when my aunt told him to eat as usual, I saw him put the crumbs and grated cheese in his pocket and I believe he did so with the idea that he might use these savings to supplement our provisions in times of greater need.

On the other hand, my aunt remained composed, and it taught us all—I believe; it taught me—a good lesson.She was very gentle with Peggotty, except when I casually called the latter by that name.I knew she was new to London, but she seemed quite at home.She sleeps in my bed, and I sleep in the living room to guard her.She thought highly of the fact that the place was close to the river because it was fireproof.I feel that, in this case, I am somewhat relieved. "Tello, my dear," said my aunt, when she saw that I was making her customary evening drink, "no need!" "Nothing, auntie?"

"Not wine, my dear. Ale." "But here's wine, Auntie. You always make wine out of it." "Save it for when you're sick," said my aunt. "We shouldn't waste it, Troo. Give me the bar. Half a pint." I think Mr. Dick will fall and pass out.But my aunt was firm, and I had to fetch the ale alone.As it was getting late, Peggotty and Mr. Dick took the opportunity to go to the grocery store together.Mr. Dick took up his big kite, which was like a monument to human disaster.I bid farewell to the poor man on the corner of the street. When I came back, my aunt was still walking up and down the room, curling the brim of her nightcap with her fingers.I heated the ale and baked the bread in the same way.When things were ready, she was ready—the nightcap was on, the skirt was rolled up to her knees.

"My dear," said my aunt, after she drank a spoonful, "it's much better than wine. It's not half as bitter." I think I looked suspicious, for she went on, "All right, all right, boy. We're doing pretty well if we don't get worse than ale." "I ought to think so, Auntie, I believe," said I. "Well, then, why don't you think so?" said my aunt. "Because you and I are such different people," I replied. "Nonsense, Trol," said my aunt. My aunt drank her ale with a teaspoon and dipped the toast in it.At this moment, she continued with a feeling of great satisfaction (though there are some artificial, but not too much).

"Trow," she said, "I don't usually take much interest in the faces of strangers, but I like your Baggis, you know?" "Better to hear you say that than to get a hundred pounds!" said I. "It's a strange world," said my aunt, rubbing her nose. "I can't imagine how that woman could have such a last name. Wouldn't it be easier to be named Jackson, or something like that?" "Perhaps she thinks so; but it's not her fault," I said. "I don't think so," admitted my aunt with great reluctance; "it's annoying, though. Well, she's called Barkis now. It's a consolation. Barkis loves you very much, Trol .”

"She'll do anything to prove it," I said. "Yes, I believe," continued my aunt, "here the poor fool begged to be let out of her, for she has plenty of it! Fool!" My aunt's tears of joy trickled down into the hot ale. "She's the funniest thing ever," said my aunt, "I knew she was the funniest thing I've ever seen from the first time I saw her with your poor little doll-like mother. But, Bagis is good." Pretending to laugh, she was able to put her hands over her eyes.Having done so, she resumed eating her toast as she continued.

"Oh! forgive us!" sighed my aunt. "I know it all, Trol! Bagis and I talked a lot when you and Dick were out. I don't know where these poor girls are going. I wonder if they don't--knock their brains out on the mantelpiece," said my aunt.Maybe it came from her looking at my mantelpiece. "Poor Emily!" I said. "Oh, don't tell me she's pitiful," said my aunt quickly. "She should have thought of it before all these disasters! Kiss me, Trol. I'm so sorry for your early life." I leaned over and she stopped me with the glass on my lap and said:

"Oh, Tro, Tro! You think you're in love too! Do you?" "Think, auntie!" I cried, turning red in the face. "I adore her with all my heart!" "Dora, really?" went on my aunt. "You mean the little one is charming, I suppose?" "My dear aunt," I replied, "no one can imagine what she is like!" "Ah! You're not stupid, are you?" said my aunt. "Stupid? Auntie!" I seriously believe that it never occurred to me, not for a moment, whether she was stupid or not.Of course I hated the idea, but because it was such a new concept, I was blown away by it.

"Not frivolous?" said my aunt. "Flirty? Auntie!" I could only repeat this bold conjecture with the same emotion as I had repeated the question before. "All right, all right!" said my aunt, "I'm just asking. I don't mean to belittle her. Poor little lovers! You think you're a perfect couple for each other, and want to live like dolls, like two A nice piece of candy, isn't it, Trollo?" When she asked me, she was so gentle, half joking and half worried, so kind, I was deeply moved. "We're young and inexperienced, Auntie, I know," I answered; "I'm afraid we say and think silly things, but we really love each other, I'm sure. If I think Dora will Fall in love with someone else, or stop loving me; or think I'll fall in love with someone else, or stop loving her; I don't know what I'll be; going crazy, I believe!" "Oh, Troy!" said my aunt, shaking her head, and smiling solemnly, "blind, blind, blind!" "I know a man, Trol," went on my aunt, after a pause, "who, though weak, had an earnest love which reminded me of that poor nurse. Sincerity was the man Must be found and used to support him and make him better, Tello. Deep, frank, faithful sincerity." "If only you knew Dora's sincerity, Auntie!" I cried. "Oh, Troy!" she said again, "blindness! blindness!" Somehow, I felt a vague sense of unfortunate loss or loss of something hanging over me like a cloud. "That being said," said my aunt, "I don't want to discourage or displease two young people; Love is usually—note! I didn't say always!—no result, we still have to take it seriously, and hope for a happy ending in the future. There's always plenty of time for an ending!" On the whole, it is not very comfortable for a hopeful lover; but I am glad to have my aunt to share my secret; I fear she is a little tired.I then sincerely thanked her for her kindness, and thanked her for all the other favors she had bestowed on me.After saying good night kindly, she took her nightcap into my bedroom. How sad when I lie down!I thought again and again of my humbleness in Mr. Spenlow's eyes; thought that I would no longer have the confidence to propose to Dora; thought I should tell Dora the truth about my financial situation, and break the engagement if she thought fit. ; thinking how I would live my days during my long probationary period, with nothing to earn; wanting to do something to help my aunt, but not being able to think of what to do; A little gift, no gray horse, no decency or ostentation!It was base and selfish, I knew, to think only of my own troubles; and I was sorry to do it, but I was so faithful to Dora that I could not be otherwise.I know that it is my contempt to think so much of myself and so little of my aunt; but so far selfishness has been inseparable from Dora, and I cannot put Dora aside for anyone, and that night I How sad! Speaking of sleep, I had all kinds of nightmares that night, as if I had dreams without the prelude to falling asleep.Now I was in rags and rags, and tried to sell Dora matches at halfpenny for six bundles; now I went to the office in my dressing-gown and boots, and Mr. Spenlow advised me not to wear such thin clothes in the presence of clients. and now St. Paul's bell struck, and old Tiffy ate his burnt bread as usual, and I hungrily picked up the crumbs he dropped; And the only thing I could exchange for this certificate was Uriah Heep's glove, which the entire doctoral college refused to accept; although I always vaguely felt that I was in my own room, I still seemed to be in my own room. Like a ship in distress bobbing up and down in a sea of ​​bedding. My aunt was also disturbed because I heard her pacing up and down from time to time.Two or three times that night she came to my room like a disturbed ghost in her flannel nightgown (which made her look like 7 feet tall) to the couch where I slept .The first time I jumped up in a hurry, I realized that she had only guessed that Westminster Abbey might be on fire because of a strange light in the sky, so she had come to discuss with me whether a change in the wind direction might cause the fire to spread to Buckingham Street.Afterwards, as I lay still, I found her come and sit down beside me, saying "poor child" to herself!Only then did I understand how selflessly she cared about me, and how I could be selfish and only think about myself, which made me twenty times sadder. I think it's unbelievable that someone would feel that such a long night was short.This thought kept me imagining a ball where people danced for hours on end until the ball became a dream; I heard the music repeating a tune and saw Dora kept on doing a dance without paying attention to me.When I awoke, or should I say I stopped to sleep and finally saw the sunlight streaming in through the window, the man who had played the harp all night was trying in vain to cover it with an ordinary-sized nightcap. In those days there was a Roman bath at the end of a street off the Strand--perhaps still there--where I took many cold baths.I dressed as calmly as I could, leaving my aunt with Peggotty's care, and I plunged into the bath, and walked to Hampstead.I hoped this easy method would clear my head; and I found it very effective, for I soon decided that the first thing I should do was to find a way to rescind my contract of study and get the money back. .I had a little breakfast in Heath, and walked along the watered streets, amidst the delightful fragrance of summer flowers--grown in gardens and carried into town by peddlers--with a heart full of joy. Determination to take the first step in coping with our changed circumstances, head to the doctorate. However, I came to the office a little too early.After I wandered around the doctoral college for half an hour, the old Tiffy, who was always the first to arrive at the office, came with the key.So I sat down in my dark corner, and looked into the daylight on the chimney-up opposite, thinking of Dora, till Mr. Spenlow came in, well dressed. "How are you, Copperfield?" said he. "It's a fine day!" "It's a fine day, sir," said I. "May I speak to you before you go to court?" "Certainly," he said, "come to my room." I followed him into his room, and he began changing, adorning himself in the little mirror that hung in the dressing room. "I am sorry to say," said I, "that I have heard a very discouraging news from my aunt." "No way!" said he. "By God! It's not paralysis, I hope?" "The news has nothing to do with her health, sir," I replied. "She has suffered a great loss. In fact, she has very little left." "You frighten me, Copperfield!" said Mr. Spenlow.I shake my head. "Really, sir," I said, "she's in such a bad situation that I want to ask you if it's okay—of course, we'll have to sacrifice some of our tuition fees," and seeing his disappointment, I added This sentence - "Rescission of my contract?" How much this advice cost me is unknown.To me, it would be like asking to be sentenced to exile from Dora, and to ask for grace. "Repeal that contract, Copperfield? Repeal?" I explained, with not-too-embarrassing firmness, that I had no way of making a living unless I made a living by myself.I'm not afraid of the future, I said (I said this with a strong tone, as if to imply that I would definitely be qualified to be a son-in-law in the future), but this is the only way to do it at the moment. "I am very sorry to have heard what you have said," said Mr. Spenlow, "very sorry. It is unprecedented for any reason, and it is not in accordance with the procedure in our profession. It is by no means the proper kind. The precedent is too inappropriate. And—” "It's very kind of you," I whispered, hoping that he might back down. "Not at all. You're welcome," said Mr. Spenlow, "and, I say, if I'm not restrained—if I don't have a partner, Mr. Jorkins—" Immediately I despaired, but I made another effort. "You think, sir," said I, "that if I put the question to Mr. Jorkins—" Mr. Spenlow shook his head disapprovingly. "Copperfield," he replied, "I have no wish to disparage anyone, least of all Mr. Jorkins. But I know my partner, Copperfield. Mr. Jorkins would not accept such Special offer man. It's hard to get Mr. Jorkins to go out of the way. You know what he's like, don't you?" I believe all I know is that he used to run the firm by himself, and now lives alone in a long-unrepaired house near Montag Square; He consulted about something; upstairs he had a little black hole that belonged to him, where no business was ever done; and on his desk was a piece of old yellowed construction cardboard, without any ink on it, that was said to have been there Let it go for 20 years.Besides, I don't know anything about him. "You don't agree with me asking him that question, sir?" I asked. "No disagreement, of course," said Mr. Spenlow. "But I have experience with Mr. Jorkins, Copperfield. I hope to please you in every way, and I can't wait for it to be so. If you think Worth it, Copperfield, and I have nothing against you raising the question with Mr Jorkins." Along with this allowed was a warm handshake.I took the time to sit thinking of Dora, before Mr. Jorkins came;When Mr. Jorkins arrived, I went into his room.I obviously surprised him by showing up there. "Come in, Mr. Copperfield," said Mr. Jorkins, "come in!" I went in and sat down, and said to Mr. Jorkins what I had said to Mr. Spenlow.Contrary to imagination, Mr. Jorkins is not scary at all.He was just a tall, gentle, beardless man, sixty years old.He smoked so much snuff that there was a legend in the Doctor's College that he lived chiefly on that stimulant, and that he had no room in his body for any other food. "You put that question to Mr. Spenlow, I suppose?" said Mr. Jorkins.He said after listening to me very disturbedly. I answered in the affirmative, and told him that Mr. Spenlow had mentioned his name. "He said I must disagree?" said Mr. Jorkins. I have to admit that Mr. Spenlow thought it quite possible. "I am sorry to say, Mr. Copperfield, that I cannot grant your wish," said Mr. Jorkins nervously, "but the truth is—but if you will forgive me, I have a Dating." As he spoke, he got up in a hurry.As he was about to leave the room, I mustered up my courage and said, "Then there's no room for accommodation, I'm afraid?" "No!" said Mr. Jorkins, stopping at the door, shaking his head. "Oh! No! I disagree, you know." He said the words quickly, and walked out of the room. "You should know, Mr. Copperfield," he said, looking nervously into the room, "that if Mr. Spenlow disagrees—" "He didn't personally disagree, sir," I said. "Oh! him personally!" repeated Mr. Jorkins, with the air of the most impatient. "I'll tell you the truth, there's a block, there's no hope! You can't do what you want! I—I do have an appointment at the bank." He almost ran away with that.As far as I know, it was three days later that he reappeared at the doctor's college. "Copperfield," said Mr. Spenlow, with a good-natured smile, "you don't know Mr. Jorkins as long as I did. I'm by no means thinking that Mr. Jorkins is a man of artifice. But, Yorkins Mr. Stein has a way of expressing disapproval and yet being duped. There's no way, Copperfield!" said he, shaking his head. "Mr. Jorkins can't be persuaded, believe me." I was utterly bewildered as to who was the real collaborator in the obstruction, Mr. Spenlow or Mr. Jorkins.However, I know one thing very well in my heart, that is, there must be something ruthless in this firm, and it is impossible to recover the thousand pounds from my aunt.When I left the office and walked home, I was disappointed in my heart, but I can't recall the disappointment without blaming myself, because I knew that my disappointment was still more for my own sake, and that with Dora always related. I was trying to think the worst, to imagine what we would do in the most dire of circumstances, when a cab followed me and pulled up beside me, and I couldn't help looking up.From the car window, a white hand reached out to me; the face smiled at me—from the first time she turned around on the old oak staircase with the wide railing, from when I put her Since the gentle beauty is associated with the stained glass windows in the church, every time I see this face, I feel peaceful and happy. "Agnes!" I exclaimed joyfully, "oh, my dear Agnes, what a pleasure it is to see you among all the people in the world!" "Really?" she said, her voice so sincere. "I'd love to talk to you!" I said. "When I saw you, it took my breath away! If I had a magician's hat, I'd want you and nobody else." "Really?" Agnes said hastily. "Ah! I want Dora first too," I admitted, blushing too. "Of course, Dora first, I hope." Agnes said with a smile. "But I want you second!" I said, "Where are you going?" She was going to visit my aunt at my residence.The weather was fine, so she preferred to get out of the carriage (I had been poking my head into it all this time, and smelled it like a stable under a cucumber rack).I dismissed the coachman, she took my arm, and we went on together.I think she's like hope personified.Agnes was by my side, and what a change I felt in an instant! My aunt once wrote her a very simple text message, not much longer than a banknote-she never stopped her letter writing skills until this point.In her letter she said that her misfortune had caused her to leave Dover forever, but that she was at peace and needed no one to disturb her.Agnes is in London to see my aunt.Over the years, both of them have developed a love for each other.In fact, it was when I was lodging at Mr. Wakefield's that the feeling of fondness arose.She said she was not alone.Her father came with her, and Uriah Heep, too. "They're collaborators now," I said. "To hell with him!" "Yes," said Agnes, "they came here on business, and I took advantage of the occasion to come too. Don't think I'm here for friendship, and for nothing personal, Trowood, because— —I'm afraid I've been cruelly biased by people—I'm not sure papa is out alone with him." "Has he any power over Mr. Wickfield, Agnes?" Agnes shook her head. "The family has changed so much," she said, "you can hardly recognize it as the lovely old home. They live with us now." "They?" I said. "Mr. Heep and his mother. He's sleeping in your old bedroom," said Agnes, looking up into my face. "I wish I could make him dream," I said, "he can't sleep there long." "I kept the little room where I used to do my lessons," said Agnes. "How time flies! Remember? Remember the little paneled room that led to the drawing-room?" "Remember, Agnes? That's the room you came out of when I first saw you, with that queer little basket with the key in it at your waist, wasn't it?" "Nothing has changed in there," said Agnes, smiling. "I'm so glad you're so happy when you think of it. We were so happy." "Of course we used to be so happy." "I still kept the room, but I couldn't get away from Mrs. Heep, you know, so," said Agnes quietly, "I had to stay with her when I wanted to be alone. But I There's nothing against her. If it's an excuse she sometimes praises her son so much that it annoys me, but that's natural in a mother. She thinks he's a very good son." When Agnes said these words, I looked at her with wide eyes, and I could not see that she had any awareness of Uriah's plan.Her calm, gentle and sincere eyes met mine, and her face was still so calm and peaceful. "The main disadvantage of their living at home," said Agnes, "is that I can't get close to Papa at will--because Uriah Heep is in our way--and I can't guard him well, if Not to be too abrupt, but if tricks and gimmicks can be wrought on him, I hope that the loyalty of pure love will prevail in the end, and I hope that true love and loyalty will prevail over all evil or disaster in the world." The smile on her face was very pleasant, and I have never seen such a pleasant smile on any other face; just as I was thinking how good it was, how familiar it was to me in the old days, it disappeared.She asked me with a sudden change of expression—by this time we were very close to my street—if I knew what caused my aunt’s misfortune.When I replied that my aunt hadn't told me, Agnes became so preoccupied that I could almost imagine her arms trembling in mine. We found my aunt alone, looking a little uncomfortable.She and Mrs. Crupp had a dispute over a very abstract theory: whether it was appropriate for a woman to live in a lawyer's apartment, and my aunt, who didn't care about Mrs. Crupp's spasms, told her frankly that she had me. the smell of brandy, and asked her out, thus bringing the argument to an end.Mrs. Crupp believed that either of these two claims could be sued, and expressed her intention to sue the "British Judy". -------- ① Judy (Judy) is the heroine in a funny puppet show.Mrs. Crupp mispronounced the word judge as Judy. However, when Peggotty took Mr. Dick to see the soldiers of the horse guards, the aunt had time to calm down; and she was so happy to see Agnes that she boasted a little about it, so she didn't worry about it. Received us without any disappointment.Agnes put her hat on the table, and came and sat down beside her; while I looked at her soft eyes and shining forehead, I couldn't help thinking that it was only natural for her to sit there; she was so young and unworldly, Yet deeply trusted by my great aunt; how capable she was of pure love and fidelity. We started talking about my aunt's loss.I told them what I tried that morning. "That's stupid, Trol," said my aunt, "but it means well. You're a good boy—I think I should say a lad now—and I'm proud of you, my dear. Yes. That's all right. Now, Troll, Agnes, let's look at Bessie Trowood's problem and see what it's all about." I could see that Agnes turned pale all of a sudden, and looked intently at her aunt.My aunt patted her cat and looked at Agnes attentively. "Bessie Trotwood," said my aunt, who never spoke of her fortune, "—I'm not talking about your sister, Trotwood, I'm talking about myself—had a fortune. It didn't matter how much it was, It was enough to live on. It had a little surplus, for she had saved a little, and added a little more. At one time, Bessie used her money to buy domestic bonds, and was later persuaded by her agent to use it as a mortgage on real estate. It was a good business, and a good one, till Bessie got back what she had borrowed. I talk about Bessie as if she were a warship. All right! So, Bessie It's time for a new investment. And now, her agent isn't as smart as he used to be—Agnes, I mean your father—and Bessie thinks she's smarter than the agent. In this way, she put her money into a foreign market," said the aunt, "and later found out that the market is not good. At first, she failed in the mining industry, and then in the diving industry— —Treasure hunting became one of those Tom Tytler-style hoaxes,' said my aunt, rubbing her nose; At first, I didn't know the value of the bank's shares," said my aunt; "I believe that the par value was the lowest; but the bank was on the other side of the world, as far as I know, empty; somehow, It fell apart. It wouldn't, couldn't pay any more; and Bessie's money was all there, and that's where it ended. Let's say less." -------- ① Spain and the Strait of Gibraltar are bounded by a place called Tom Tytler, which later became British. After making these philosophical conclusions, my aunt looked at Agnes proudly, and Agnes' complexion gradually recovered. "My dear Miss Trotwood, is that all the story?" said Agnes. "I hope that's enough, boy," said my aunt. "If there's more money to lose, I think it must be more than that. I'm sure Bessie will try to throw it out again and be another chapter." .But, no more money, no more stories." Agnes listened breathlessly at first.Her complexion was still changing, but her breathing was easier.I thought I knew what was going on; I thought she was worried that her unfortunate father might be responsible for what had happened.My aunt took her hand and laughed. "Is that all?" repeated my aunt. "Hey, yes, that's all, and then, 'She lived happily ever after.' Maybe I can tell Bessie's story again later. Here, love You have a clever head, Niss. You have one sometimes, Trot, but I can't flatter you that you always have one;" Here my aunt shook her head at me with her characteristic air. "What to do? The cottage, on the average, is supposed to fetch seventy pounds a year. I think we can count on that. All right!—that's all we have," said my aunt.Some horses stop suddenly when they are about to go a long way, and my aunt also has this characteristic. "Besides," continued my aunt, after a pause, "and Dick. He gets a hundred pounds a year, but of course it goes to himself. Though I know I'm the only one who understands him, I still Better to send him away than to keep him without spending the money on himself. Trol and I, what shall we do with our own property? Agnes, what do you say?" "I say, Auntie," I interrupted, "I should do something!" "You mean, to be a soldier?" said my aunt in surprise, "or a sailor? I don't want to listen to that. You're going to be an advocate. We don't want any serious blows to our family, sorry, gentlemen." I was about to argue that I didn't want to bring those regimens into my home when Agnes asked me if the apartment was on a long lease. “你说到点子上了，我亲爱的。”姨奶奶说道，“除非转租——但我不相信能这样——在这里至少还可以住六个月。先前住的那人死在这儿了。就算六个人住在这里，必有五个——当然——是被那个穿紫花布胸褡的和法兰绒袍子的女人害死的。我有点现款；我同意你的说法，最好的办法是在这里住到到期，为狄克在附近找一个安身处。” 我认为我必须说明，由于不断和克鲁普太太兜着圈子交锋，姨奶奶在这儿一定住得不舒服；可她坚持说这不算什么了不得的事；她的大意是：等到第一次火迸时，她会让克鲁普太太吓得后半辈子都回不过神来。 “我想过，特洛伍德，”爱妮丝犹疑着说道，“如果你时间富裕——” “我时间很富裕，爱妮丝。我下午4或5点钟后，就总是没事了，我在一大早也有时间。总是可以有办法。”我说道，这时我想到我花那么些小时在城里转悠、在诺伍德大道上来往，不禁有点脸红了，“我时间很富裕呢。” “我知道，你不会反对，”爱妮丝走到我跟前，低声说道，我现在还能听到她那饱含着令人愉快的体贴的声音，“做一个文书。” “反对，我亲爱的爱妮丝？” “因为，”爱妮丝继续说道，“斯特朗博士已按他的愿望退休了，他也已来到伦敦住下。据我所知，他问过爸爸，能否给他介绍个文书。你不认为他与其用别人，不如让他心爱的老学生呆在身边吗？” “亲爱的爱妮丝！”我说道，“没有你，我又怎么办！你永远是我的幸运天使。我对你说过的。我一直这么认为你是的。” 爱妮丝愉快地笑着答道，一个幸运天使（指朵拉）就够了；然后她又提醒我，博士习惯在清早和晚上在书房里工作（所以我的时间大体上很适合他的要求）。在老师手下赚生活的希望比去独立谋生的前景更让我快乐；一句话，听从爱妮丝的劝告，我坐下给博士写了封信，说明我的目的，并约定次日上午10点钟去拜访他。我把这封信的投送地址写成海盖特，因为他就住在那个我觉得难忘的地方，为了赶上时间，我亲自去投邮。 无论爱妮丝在什么地方，她都能让人觉得那地方和她那不多言多语的举止特征密切相连。我回来时，发现姨奶奶的鸟笼已挂起来了，恰如以前挂在旧日住宅客厅窗前一样；我的安乐椅也按我姨奶奶安乐得多的安乐椅在旧日住宅的位子摆好，就放在打开的窗前；连姨奶奶随身带来的绿色扇屏也钉在窗棂上了。看到这些似乎无声无息就自己做好的事情，我就知道是谁干的；就算我以为爱妮丝在几里以外的地方，就算我没看见她一面对我那些零乱的书微笑一面把它们按我在学校时的习惯清好，我也会马上知道这些都是谁干的。 姨奶奶对泰晤士河的风景很满意，虽然比不上那幢小屋前的大海，太阳照耀下时，这条河还是很壮观的。可她对伦敦烟雾的十分憎恶未减半分。她说这烟“像胡椒一样撒在一切东西上”。我的住所中每一个角落都进行着有关这胡椒的一场革命。而皮果提就在这场革命中充当一个了不起的人物。我一面旁观，一面想，皮果提虽然手忙脚乱，却也并没真正做好什么；而爱妮丝虽不慌不忙，做好的却好多好多。这时，传来了一下敲门的声音。 “我猜，”爱妮丝说着脸也刷一下白了，“这是爸爸。他答应过我要来这儿的。” 我去开门，进来的不仅仅有威克费尔德先生，还有尤来亚·希普。我已有相当时间未见到威克费尔德先生了。听了爱妮丝的话后，我已料想他会变化很大；可见到他，我仍为他外表的变化吃了一惊。 使我吃惊的并不只是他那苍老了好多的模样——虽然他依旧衣冠整洁——不只是他那不健康的通红脸色，不只是他那外突而充血的双眼，不只是他那双手神经质的颤抖（我知道它们为什么这样抖，也有几年看到这起因发生作用）。最让我惊诧的不是他那英俊外貌已荡然无存，或他依然拥有的那旧日雅人的风度，而是仍然具有天生的上流品质的他竟甘心受尤来亚·希普——那只配爬行的卑贱化身——的支配。他们的相应地位变化了，尤来亚处于擅权地位，威克费尔德先生就处于服从地位，而这一来，我就更痛切地感到这两种性格使我难于言表地难过。如果我看到一个猴子指挥一个人，我也不会觉得那情形比这更加可耻了。 他自己对此似乎也完全觉察了。他进来后就站着不动；头低垂，仿佛已明白了一般。不过这只是片刻即过了，因为爱妮丝小声对他说：“爸爸！特洛伍德小姐在这呢，还有特洛伍德呢，你都好久没见过他了！”于是他走过来，很不自然地把手伸给我姨奶奶，然后又和我握手（但要亲切得多）。在我听的那片刻之时，我看到尤来亚的脸做出了最令人生厌的笑。我猜爱妮丝也看到了，所以她才也避开他。 姨奶奶看到了什么，没看到什么，只要她不想让人知道，怎么观察她脸也不会看出什么的。我相信，她要做出镇定的样子来时，是没人比得上她的。在成为僵局的那时，她的脸就像一面没有窗子的墙，一切光线都不能穿透她的思想；然后，她才用她一贯的生硬方式打破了沉默。 “嘿，威克费尔德，”姨奶奶说道；于是他抬头看她，这还是他进来后的第一次看她。“刚才，我告诉你女儿我过去怎样自己处理我的钱，因为你在业务方面日益生疏，我不能信赖你了。刚才我们一起商量；商量得很好，考虑到了方方面面的问题。依我看来，爱妮丝真抵得上一个事务所呢。” “如果我可以卑贱地说一句，”尤来亚·希普痉挛了一下说道，“我完完全全赞同贝西·特洛伍德小姐的话，如果爱妮丝小姐是一个合伙人，我一定非常快活了。” “你已经是一个合伙人了，你知道，”姨奶奶马上说道，“我想，你大概总能满意了。你觉得怎么样呀，先生？” 听到这样冷淡的问候，希普先生很侷促地抓着他的蓝提包答道他很好，他向姨奶奶道谢，还希望她也很好。 “还有你，科波菲尔少爷——我应当说，科波菲尔先生，”尤来亚继续说道，“我希望你也很好！虽然眼下这种情形，我见了你仍很高兴，科波菲尔先生。”我相信他说的，因为他似乎对这情形觉得很有趣。“眼下这情形不是朋友们希望你会遇上的，科波菲尔先生，不过人的成就不是靠着钱，而是靠着——以我这卑贱的能力，我实在说不出是靠什么，”尤来亚摇尾乞怜地痉挛着说道，“不过不是靠了钱！” 说到这儿，他就握住我手。他不是通常那样和我握手，而是离我远远地站着，像摇唧筒手柄那样把我的手一掀一掀，他有点怕我的手了。 “你觉得我们的气色怎么样，科波菲尔少爷——我应当说先生的？”尤来亚可怜兮兮地说道，“你觉得威克费尔德先生的精神健旺吗，先生？这些年来，我们的事务所并没很大变化，不过提高了卑贱的人，那就是我母亲和我；发展了美丽的人，”他又像事后又记起了什么一样地说道，“那就是爱妮丝小姐。” 说罢这句恭维话，他就用那么一种令人难以忍受的方式跳来跳去，连我那坐在那里一直瞪着他的姨奶奶也再也忍不住了。 “鬼把他抓住了吧！”姨奶奶严厉地说，“他在干什么呀？” 别像触了电那样抽吧，先生！ " “请你原谅我，特洛伍德小姐，”尤来亚答道；“我知道你心里不痛快。” “滚你的吧，先生！”姨奶奶一点也不软下去地说道，“不要胡说！我才不是那样呢。如果你是条泥鳅，先生，你就像泥鳅那样动吧。如果你是一个人，你就管住你的手脚吧，先生！天哪！”姨奶奶很生气地说道，“我可不要被这种蛇一样的扭动、陀螺一样的旋转弄疯呢！” 说出这番轰炸似的话后，姨奶奶坐在那里恨恨地动了动身子又摇了摇头，好像在抓住他打一样，这一下可增加了那话的力量，使得希普先生不好意思了，这在大多数人都是免不了会的。可他转过身用一种很低三下四的声音对我说道： “我很清楚，科波菲尔少爷，特洛伍德小姐虽然是卓越的女人，却性子很急。实际上，科波菲尔少爷，我相信我比你还先有幸认识她呢，那时我还是个卑贱的文书。目前的情形使她性子更急了，我认为也是情理中事。她性格没有变得更坏，这反而是个奇迹了！我来拜访，不过要说，在目前情形下，如果有我们——我母亲和我，或者是威克费尔德——希普事务所——可以效力之处，我们真是会很高兴效力的。我能这么说吧？”尤来亚对他的合伙人说道，并令人生厌地笑着。 “尤来亚·希普，”威克费尔德的声音单调，表情勉强，“在事务方面很得力，特洛伍德。我完全同意他所说的。我知道，我一直很关心你们。把这放到一边不说，我完全同意尤来亚所说的。” “哦，被这样信任，”冒着再吃我姨奶奶一顿骂的危险，尤来亚晃着一条腿说道，“是多么大的一种奖赏啊！不过，我希望我能努力减轻事务带给他的疲劳，科波菲尔少爷！” “于我，尤来亚·希普是一种很大的安慰，”威克费尔德先生还是那样沉闷地说道，“这样的一个合伙人，特洛伍德，减轻了我的精神负担。” 我知道，是那个红头发狐狸逼威克费尔德先生说这些的，目的就是要证实在他破坏我睡眠的那个夜晚说过的话。我又看到他脸上露出令人生厌的笑容，也看到他在怎样注视我。 “你不走吧，爸爸？”爱妮丝关切地说道，“你不跟特洛伍德和我一起走回去吗？” 如果尤来亚没抢在前面说了下面的话，我相信，威克费尔德先生一定会看那大人物后再回答的。 “我事先已有了约，”尤来亚说道，“否则我一定极愿和朋友们在一起。不过，我让我的合伙人代表事务所吧。爱妮丝小姐，再见！再见，科波菲尔少爷。我向贝西·特洛伍德小姐献上我卑贱的敬礼。” 他边说着，边吻他的大手，像一个假面具那样斜睇着我们走了出去。 我们坐在那儿，谈到我们在坎特布雷的旧日好时光，我们谈了一两个小时。在爱妮丝照拂下，威克费尔德先生很快就恢复了自如；不过，总有那么一种根深蒂固的压抑压着他，他无法摆脱。话虽如此，他脸上总算露出了喜色。当听我们回忆到旧日生活中那些小事时，他显然也很开心，有许多事他记得很清楚。他说，又像和爱妮丝及我在一起过的那自由自在的日子了；他巴不得那种日子一直未变。我相信，无论是在爱妮丝安祥的脸上，还是当她的手每一次触到他胳膊的那一刻里，都蕴含着一种能在他身上展现出奇特效果的力量。 几乎一直和皮果提在里屋里忙着干活的姨奶奶不肯跟我们去他们的住处，但她坚持要我去，我就去了。我们一起吃饭，饭后，爱妮丝像先前那样坐在他身边给他斟酒。她给他斟多少，他就只喝多少，不再多喝了，就像一个乖孩子一样。天色暗下来时，我们三个一起坐在窗前。天色几乎完全转黑时，他躺到一张沙发上，爱妮丝用枕头垫起他的头，俯在他身上一会儿。她回到窗前时，虽然光线很暗，我仍可以看出她眼中晶莹的泪光。 但愿我永远不会忘记这位可爱的女孩在那时的爱心和忠诚。如果我会忘记，那肯定是我快死了。就是那时，我也希望我还记得她！她使我心中如此充满了极好的决断力，她那样用她的榜样来使我由软弱变坚强，她那么指导——我说不出她是怎样做的，她太谦虚太温和，不肯用很多话来劝说我——我心里的热情和常变的理想。我所做的每一点好事，我所能对一切伤害的忍耐，都归功于她，我郑重地这么认为。 在黑暗中，她坐在窗前，她又怎样对我谈到朵拉并听我赞美朵拉，然后她自己又夸这小仙女，把她自己那闪烁的纯洁光辉撒在这小仙女身边变成了一圈光环。于是我觉得这小仙女更加可爱天真！哦，爱妮丝，我少年时代的姊妹。如果那时我就能知道许久以后我才知道的事，那该多好啊！ —— 我走下时，街上有个乞丐；我正想着她那宁静纯洁的眼睛并向窗子转过身来时，被那乞丐吓了一跳——他仿佛是应着早上一句话的回声那么说道： “盲目呀！盲目呀！盲目呀！”