Chapter 20 Chapter 16 I am a student in many ways

The next morning, after breakfast, I resumed my school life.Accompanied by Mr. Wickfield, I went to the place where I was to study.It was a stately building in a quad, surrounded by an academic atmosphere that seemed befitting of the crows and burrowing birds that alighted from the cathedral roof and strolled in the meadows like a flock of priests.Mr. Wickfield introduced me to my new teacher, Dr. Strong. Dr. Strong looked (I thought) almost as rusty as the high iron railings and gates outside the schoolhouse, and almost as heavy as the great stone urns beside them (which were placed at some distance around the The red brick wall of the courtyard seems to be an idealized skittles for time to play).He - I mean Dr Strong - in his library, his clothes not properly brushed, his hair not properly combed, his knee shorts not hung up in suspenders, and his long black leggings not properly buttoned , two shoes were thrown on the hearth rug with their mouths open like two holes.His languid eyes reminded me of a long-forgotten blind old horse that used to graze in Brandstone's cemetery and stumble over the grave.He said he was glad to see me and offered me his hand, and I didn't know what to do with the hand because it didn't know what to do.

But not far from Dr. Strong sat a sewing woman, who was called Anne by the Doctor, and who was very good-looking and very young.I think this woman is the doctor's daughter.It was this woman who got me out of my embarrassment--she knelt down to put Dr. Strong's shoes on and put on his leggings, and she did it with a jovial and quick hand.After she finished these, we went to the classroom together.I could not help being startled when I heard Mr. Wickfield address her by calling her Mrs. Strong.I was still wondering whether she was Dr. Strong's daughter-in-law, or Dr. Strong's wife; and it was then that Dr. Strong accidentally touched me.

"By the way, Wickfield," said the Doctor, holding me by the shoulder, stopping in an aisle, "you haven't found a suitable place for my wife's cousin?" "No," said Mr. Wickfield, "no, not yet." "I hope the matter can be done as soon as possible, Wakefield," said Dr. Strong, "for Jack Melton is poor and lazy; and those two evils sometimes breed worse. What Dr. Z said," he said, looking at me and shaking his head at the syllables of the sentence he quoted, "'the devil can find some bad things for idlers to do, too.'"

"Well, Doctor," said Mr. Wickfield, "if Dr. Watts had known human beings, he might have written equally correctly: 'The devil can find some bad things for busy men to do,' you may believe. This point—busy people have done enough bad things in this world. In the past two centuries, what have those people who are busy grabbing money and power been doing? Isn’t it bad?” "Jack Melton wouldn't be too busy trying to get either of those things, I suppose," Dr. Strong mused, rubbing his chin. "Perhaps," said Mr. Wakefield, "you have brought me back to the point. Excuse me for interrupting. I have nothing to do with Mr. Jack Melton at present. I believe," he hesitated. Said softly, "I see your motives, and this is even more difficult."

"My motive," replied Dr. Strong, "was to find a way of earning a living for a brother-in-law, Anne's former playmate." "Yes, I know," said Mr. Wickfield, "at home or abroad." "Well!" replied the Doctor, evidently puzzled by Mr. Wickfield's emphasis on the words, "at home or abroad?" "On your own, you know," said Mr. Wickfield, "or abroad." "Yes!" replied the Doctor, "yes. Or this, or that." "Or this, or that? Haven't you a choice?" asked Mr. Wickfield. "No." The doctor replied.

"No?" Wakefield's tone was full of surprise. "Not at all." "No idea of ​​wanting to be abroad rather than at home?" said Mr. Wickfield. "No." The doctor replied again. "I cannot but trust you, and I certainly do," said Mr. Wickfield; "if I had known this, the business would have been easier for me. I confess, however, that I have another idea. " Dr. Strong looked at her, looking puzzled, but immediately relieved and smiled; this smile gave me great encouragement, because it was full of kindness and generosity, and in that smile- —indeed, in his demeanor—there was a kind of innocence that came out of his learned and thoughtful air.That day was so attractive to a young student like me, and it also inspired me a lot.Repeating "none" and "none at all," and similarly simple and resolute sentences, he went ahead with a strange, shaky gait, and we followed.I saw Mr. Wickfield's serious face, and, not noticing that I was observing him, shook my head to myself.

The classroom was a hall, on the quietest side of the school building, facing half a dozen or so large stone urns, and had a glimpse of the Doctor's garden; mature day by day.There are two large pots of agaves on the grass outside the window. Out of rich associations, I always think that their wide and hard leaves (it looks like they are made of tin) are a symbol of silence and seclusion.There were about twenty-five students absorbed in their studies when we entered the room; they rose to say good morning to the Doctor.They stood still at the sight of Mr. Wickfield and me. "Young gentlemen, here is a new student," said the doctor. "His name is Trotwood Copperfield."

A student named Adam stepped down from his seat to welcome me. He was the class monitor.He wore a white scarf and looked like a young missionary, but he was warm and kind.Adam took me to my seat and introduced me to the other faculty members.He was courteous; if anything reassured me it was his politeness. But having been away from such students for so long, and not having been in the company of any of my peers for so long--Mick Walker and Pinky Potatoes not counting--I felt very strange about it.They didn't know anything about me; I was so sensitive about my experiences and feelings that they didn't fit my age, my appearance, or who I was as one of them. It was an act of impersonation to be there as a schoolboy, and I had grown unaccustomed to schoolboy sports and games during my Murdstone-Grinber days, though however long those days were ; I know that I am also clumsy and inexperienced in what they think is the simplest thing.What I have learned has been eroded in the caress of degrading my livelihood from morning till night.Now, when I take the test, I don't know anything, so I'm placed in the lowest grade in the school.Not only was my lack of game skills and lack of book knowledge, but also because what I knew and what I didn't know, alienated me even more from my classmates.I've often wondered, what would they think if they knew I was familiar with the High Court?Is there anything about me that inadvertently reveals my dealings with Mr. Micawber's—pawning things, eating supper, etc.?What would I do if some of my classmates recognized me after seeing me weary and ragged through Canterbury?What would they say, if they, who are so extravagant, knew how I raised a halfpence with which I could buy my daily sausage and ale or slices of pudding?They know next to nothing about London life and its neighbourhoods, and how would they be shocked to find (and be ashamed to do so) that I have so much of a low knowledge of both?I thought so much about all this on my first day at Dr. Strong's that I distrusted even the most inconspicuous gestures of my being, and recoiled when any of my new classmates approached me.As soon as school was over, I walked away as quickly as possible, lest I should show my true colors in response to friendly overtures or advances.

But there was something about Mr. Wickfield's old house which made my terrors fade away when I knocked at the door with my new book in my arms.As I went upstairs to my airy old room, the shadow of the heavy staircase seemed to fall on my doubts and fears, and the old days grew still more obscure.I sat and studied until supper (we were always dismissed at three o'clock), and then I went downstairs in the hope that I might still be a passable student. Agnes was waiting in the living room for her father, who was being held up at the office by someone.She greeted me with her cheerful smile and asked if I liked that school.I told her I hoped I'd enjoy it, but I felt a little rusty at first.

"You never went to school, did you," I said, "did you?" "Oh, go to school! Every day." "Oh, you mean here, in your own house?" "Daddy won't let me go anywhere else," she said, shaking her head with a smile. "His housekeeper has to stay at his house, you know." "He's very fond of you, I'm sure," I said. She nodded "yes" and went to the door to hear if he came up so she could meet him on the stairs.He hasn't come yet, so she comes back again. "My mother died when I was born," she said with her calm air. "I only knew her from the picture of her downstairs. I saw you looking at that picture yesterday, and you wondered whose it was?" ?"

I said yes, because the portrait was just like her. "Papa said so," said Agnes cheerfully. "Listen! Papa is coming!" When she went to meet him, when she entered the house arm in arm with him, her young, calm face was brightened with joy.He greeted me kindly, and told me that I should be very happy under Dr. Strong, who is one of the most generous men. "Perhaps someone—I don't know if anyone—was abusing his kindness," asked Mr. Wickfield. "Never do that in any way, Trowood. He's the least suspicious." People; whether this is an advantage or a disadvantage, no matter how small or large, as long as you are dealing with a doctor, you should pay attention to this point." It seemed to me that he had said this from fatigue or from some discontent; but I did not give much thought to these questions which were in my mind, for at this time the announcement was that supper was ready, and we went downstairs, and Sit like before. We were hardly seated when Uriah Heep's redheaded head and thin hands were thrust through the door.He said: "Mr. Melton begs for a word, sir." "I've just sent him away," said his master. "Yes, sir," replied Uriah, "but Mr. Melton is back again, and he begs for a word." As he pushed the door open, I felt him looking at me, at Agnes, at the food, at the dishes, at everything in the house—but he didn’t seem to be looking at anything; he looked the same as always— — staring loyally and obediently at his master with those red eyes. "Please forgive me. I just want to say, after I thought about it," a voice came from behind Uriah, "please excuse my interruption—I don't seem to have a choice in this matter, and the sooner I go abroad, the better. I When talking about this with my cousin Anne, she did say that she wanted her friends to be close to her, and she didn't want them to be far away, so the old doctor—” "Dr. Strong, don't you?" Dr. Wickfield interrupted gravely. "It's Dr. Strong," replied the other party. "I call him the old doctor. It's the same anyway. You know that." "I don't know," replied Mr. Wickfield. "Well, Dr. Strong," said the other, "Dr. Strong is of the same opinion, I believe. However, it seems that because of the plan you have made for me, he has changed his mind again, so there is nothing to worry about." Having said that, the sooner I leave, the better. So, I have to come back and say, the sooner I leave, the better. When it’s time to dive, it’s useless to hesitate on the shore.” "Your question, I will try to minimize the delay, you can rest assured." Mr. Wickfield said. "Thank you," said the other, "thank you very much. I don't want to, and it would be wrong to find fault with my kindness; but I believe my cousin can do as she pleases. I am sure, Anne Just tell the old doctor—" "You mean that Mrs. Strong will only have to tell her husband—isn't she?" said Mr. Wickfield. "No," replied the other, "just say that she wants it done that way; there's no problem, that's the way it is." "Why is there no problem, Mr. Melton?" asked Mr. Wickfield, calmly eating. "Why? Because Anne is a lovely young woman, and the old doctor—I mean Dr. Strong—is not a lovely young handsome boy," laughed Mr. Melton. "I don't mean to offend anyone." , Mr. Wickfield. I only mean that, in such a marriage, I believe that there is a compensation which is just and reasonable." "Compensation for the lady, brother?" asked Mr. Wickfield gravely. "To the lady, sir," replied Jack Melton, laughing.But he seemed to notice that Mr. Wickfield was still eating so calmly, and it seemed impossible to let Mr. Wickfield's facial muscles relax at all, so he said again: "However, I have already said what I was going to say later, and I apologize again for the interruption, and I leave. Considering that this is entirely between you and me, and has nothing to do with the doctor's family, I will of course obey Your advice." "Have you eaten yet?" said Mr. Wickfield, waving his hand to the table. "Thank you, I'm going to dine with my cousin Anne. Good-bye!" said Mr. Melton. Mr. Wickfield did not rise as he left, but gazed thoughtfully after him.Mr. Melton seemed to me a shallow young man, with a pretty face, an eloquent tongue, and a haughty air.It was the first time I saw Mr. Melton; and when I had heard the Doctor speak of him that morning, I had not expected to see him so soon. After eating, I went upstairs again, and everything went on as the previous day.In the same corner Agnes set down the decanter and glass again, and Mr. Wickfield sat down to drink, and drank quite a bit.Agnes played to him, sat beside him, sewed and talked, played cards with me, and had tea ready at just time; She told me about the book - which, though she said it was nothing, was not - and told me the best way to study and understand them.As I write this now, she reappears before me, and I see her gentle, serene, quiet demeanor, and hear her calm, melodious voice.Since then, all the influences she gave me have penetrated into my heart.I love little Emily, I don't love Agnes--no, only not that kind of love at all--but I feel that wherever Agnes is there is goodness and peace and truth; The soft light of the stained-glass windows of the cathedral I had seen fell on her forever, and as I approached her the same light fell on me, and everything around her was clothed in that light. It was time for her to go to bed, and when she parted from us I held out my hand to Mr. Wickfield, and prepared to go too.But he stopped me and said, "Trowwood, would you like to live with us or would you like to live somewhere else?" "Live with you," I replied at once. "real?" "If you want, if I can!" "Hey, boy, I'm afraid it's pretty dull here," he said. "I'm no more dull than Agnes, sir. Not at all." "Just like Agnes," he said, walking slowly to the great fireplace, and leaning there, "just like Agnes!" That night, he drank until his eyes were bloodshot (or maybe I was hallucinating).Not that I saw it then—he kept looking down and covering it with his hands—but I noticed it a little while before that. "Now, I wonder," he murmured, "whether my Agnes is tired of me. When shall I be tired of her! But that's another matter— It's another matter entirely. " He was thinking, not talking to me, so I kept silent. "The dreary old house," said he, "and the monotony of life; but I must keep her with me. To think that I shall die and leave my darling, or that my darling shall die and leave me, if The thought haunts me like a phantom in this happiest hour, and I must let it sink in—" He didn't say anything more, just walked slowly to the place where he sat before, mechanically poured wine from the empty bottle, put down the bottle, and walked back. "If she suffers here," he said, "what happens when she's gone? No, no, no. I must never do such an experiment." He leaned against the fire for so long, brooding, that I couldn't decide whether I should run away, risking alarming him, or wait until he came to himself.He came to himself at last, and looked around the room until his eyes met mine. "Living with us, Trotwood, eh?" said he, in his usual manner again, as if answering what I had just said. "I like that very much. You're our company. It's good to have you here. Good for me, good for Agnes, and good for us all." "I'm sure it's good for me, sir," said I, "and I'm glad to stay here." "Good boy!" said Mr. Wickfield, "you can stay here as long as you like," and he shook my hand and patted me on the back for that, and said that when Agnes left in the evening, If I wanted to do something or read for entertainment, I could go to his room—if I wanted company and he was there—and sit with him.I thank him for his concern.Soon he went downstairs, but I didn't feel tired, so because of his promise, I also took a book and went downstairs to kill half an hour. However, when I saw the lights of the office in the Little Round Court, I was drawn to Uriah Heep by another force. I thought he had something fascinating.So, I went to him.I found Uriah looking so intently reading a large thick book, running his long, thin fingers across every line he read, leaving a sticky trail (or so I imagined) on every page. bar), like a snail. "You worked late today, Uriah," I said. "Yes, Master Copperfield," said Uriah. In order to make it easier for you to talk to him, you sat on the stool opposite him. Only then did I see that there was no real smile on his face. He could only widen his mouth, under his cheeks. Squeeze out a blunt wrinkle, respectively, in place of a smile. "I'm not working for the firm, Master Copperfield." Uriah said. "What kind of work is that?" I asked. "I'm learning to improve my legal knowledge, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, "and I'm almost finishing The Tedder Procedure. Oh, what a great writer Mr. Teed is, Copperfield." Master Phil!" My stool is a watchtower.After he said that admiration, he went back to reading and pointed with his index finger to each line he read. I watched him all the time, and saw that his nostrils were thin and pointed, and the middle was suddenly concave.They opened and retracted in a peculiar way that was uncomfortable to watch; as if they were blinking in place of his eyes, which almost never blinked. "You're a great legal scholar, I suppose?" I said after looking at him. "I, Master Copperfield?" said Uriah. "Oh, no! I am a very low fellow." "I saw that the sensation I had of his hands was not a hallucination, for from time to time he rubbed them together, palms facing each other, as if, besides constantly rubbing them furtively with a small handkerchief, he was also drying and warming them. "I know very well that I am the meanest man that ever lived," said Uriah Heep, very humbly, "whatever other people may be. My mother was a very mean man. We lived in a mean place, Master Copperfield, but there is much to be thankful for. My father had a very humble career as a church-bearer." "What's he doing now?" I asked. "He's gone to heaven now, Master Copperfield," said Uriah Heep, "but there are many things we should be grateful for. How grateful we are to be with Wickfield." !" I asked Uriah if he had been with Mr. Wickfield for a long time. "I have been with him for four years, Master Copperfield," Uriah said, marking the place he read in the book, and closing the book, "since the year after my father died That's it. This, how grateful I am! Mr. Wakefield accepts me as a trainee for free, how thankful, otherwise, how can I do it with the humble status of my mother and me?" "So when you finish your studies, you're going to be a full-fledged lawyer, I guess?" I said. "By God, Master Copperfield," replied Uriah. "Perhaps, one day you will work with Mr. Wickfield," I said, trying to please him, "and it will be Wakefield--Heap & Associates, or Heap-- The late Wakefield & Associates." "Oh, no, Master Copperfield," Uriah replied, shaking his head, "I'm too humble, how can I do this?" He squinted at me, his mouth parted, his cheeks were wrinkled like the face carved on the beam outside my window.He sat there humbly. "Mr. Wickfield is a very distinguished man, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, "and if you have known him long, I am sure, you will know that he is a better man than I say." Much more." I replied that I believed so too, but though he was my aunt's friend, I had not known him very long. "Oh, indeed, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, "your aunt is a lovely lady, Master Copperfield." When he was about to show enthusiasm, he wriggled in an ugly way, which diverted my attention from the compliments he paid my relatives to his throat and body—he Writhing like a snake. "A lovely lady, Master Copperfield!" said Uriah Heep. "I believe she admires Miss Agnes very much, too, Master Copperfield?" I boldly said "yes," God forgive me, but I didn't know anything about it. "I hope you are like that too, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, "but I am sure you are like that." "Everyone does," I replied. "Oh, thank you, Master Copperfield," said Uriah Heep, "thank you for saying that! Exactly true! Even a lowly man like me knows that it is...very true! Oh , thank you, Master Copperfield!" He twisted up from the stool excitedly.As soon as I got up, I started to prepare for going home. "Mother is waiting for me," said he, looking at a vague gray watch in his pocket, "and she will be disturbed; for we are humble, but we care for each other, Master Copperfield. If one afternoon you To come and see us, no matter what afternoon, for a cup of tea in our humble place, Mother must feel as honored to see you as I do." I said I would very much like to go. "Thank you, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, putting the book on a shelf, "I guess, Master Copperfield, you will stay here for a while?" I said I believed: as long as I study in school, I will live here. "Oh, really!" cried Uriah, "I think you'll join the line after all, Master Copperfield!" I tried to say that I didn't think that, and no one planned it for me; but to my statement Uriah kept saying, "Oh, yes, Master Copperfield, I think you will Yes, indeed!" or: "Oh, indeed, Master Copperfield, I think you will, you will!" he repeated over and over again.As he was leaving the office to go to bed, he asked me if it would be inconvenient for me to turn off the light. As soon as I said "No", he turned off the light.In the dark he shook my hand, which seemed to me like a fish; then he opened the street door a crack, slipped out, shut the door again, and left me groping about the house in the dark, trying to It was difficult, and he tripped over his stool and fell.I think that was why I dreamed of him half the night.In the dream, he drove Mr. Peggotty's house to rob, and a black flag was hoisted on the top of the mast, with "Ted Proceedings" written on it. Emily took to the Spanish Sea to drown us both. My uneasiness eased a little when I went to school the next day, and a little less the next day, and in this way I got rid of it little by little, and within a fortnight I was at home and happy with my new companions.I was very inflexible when participating in their games; I was also far behind in terms of learning compared to them.However, I hope that adaptation will improve my game and effort will improve my studies.So, I worked hard in games and studies, and received many compliments.Moreover, life at Murdstone-Grinber & Company has become so alienating to me in such a short time that I hardly believe it ever existed; I have lived this life for a long time. Dr. Strong's school is excellent, and as different from Mr. Creeker's as good is from evil.It is rigorous, orderly, with a sound system, and everything is for the reputation and interests of the students, so it is obvious that there is trust in the students, unless they themselves are not worthy of this trust; this trust has received wonderful results.We all feel that we have a share in the administration of the school and a responsibility to uphold its character and dignity.So it didn't take long for us to feel connected to the school - I can safely say I was one of those students; and in my entire time at the school I never knew a student who wasn't - —We study with good wishes and want to win honor for the school.We had a lot of time to play and a lot of freedom, but as I recall, the students had a good reputation in the town at the time, and it was rare for Dr. Strong and Dr. Strong's students to be sullied by our appearance or manner. reputation. Some senior students boarded at Dr. Strong's house. From them, I heard some trivial rumors about the doctor's experience-such as that he had not married the beautiful girl I saw in his study. One year, he married her because he loved her, but she was penniless and had a long string of poor relatives (so my classmates said) who just wanted to keep PhDs out of school and home.For example, the reason why he is always preoccupied is because he is always thinking about the roots of Greek words.Because of my ignorance, I always saw the doctor staring at the ground when he was walking, and I thought he was a biology lover. I didn't realize until later that he was meditating on the roots that should be included in the new dictionary he planned.It is said that Adam (our monitor), who loves mathematics, once calculated the time required to complete this dictionary according to the doctor's plan and the speed of the doctor's progress.He believes that the dictionary could be completed in the 1649th year after the doctor's last birthday (62nd birthday). The doctor himself is admired by the whole school. If it weren't for that, the school spirit would definitely not be good; because he is the kindest person, and he has a simple belief in his heart that can move the stone urn on the wall.As he walked up and down the yard next to the school, the crows and burrowing birds that wandered around looked sideways at him cunningly, as if even they thought he was inferior to them in sophistication.If any rogue could get close enough to his creaky hem to draw his attention to a word in an unfortunate story, that rogue would be blessed for the next two days.This was so well known in the school that the teachers and monitors took great pains to drive out the scoundrels who hid in corners or under windows, before they had time to attract the doctor's attention.Sometimes, as he wobbled, something like this was happening a few yards away from him, without him noticing it.When he goes out of his domain and has no one to protect him, he becomes a sheep to the shearers.He would untie his leggings and give them to others.In fact, there is a story among us, I don't know whether it is true, but I have been convinced of it for so many years, so I think it is true; During the days, he really gave his leg wrappings to a beggar woman, and the beggar woman used the leg wrappings to wrap a beautiful baby, and went from door to door to show it to others, which caused some rumors in the neighborhood.The doctor's leggings are as familiar in the neighborhood as the church.The story also says that there was only one man who did not know the leggings.Not long afterward, when the thing was put on display in front of a not-so-reputable little junk shop (where it was traded for wine), many people saw the doctor touch it and say it was good. ; he seemed to appreciate the novelty of the shape of the thing, and thought it better than his own. It was a joy to see the Doctor with his beautiful young wife.He showed his love for her with a fatherly kindness, and this attitude was enough to prove that he was a very good man.I have often seen them walking in the garden with peaches.Sometimes I get closer to watch them in my study or living room.I think she cared about the Doctor and liked him, though I never thought she had any interest in his dictionary.The Doctor seemed to keep the difficult parts of those books in his pockets, or in the lining of his hat, on his walks, and explain them to her. I saw Mrs. Strong often, partly because she liked me when I first met the Doctor, and has been kind and caring to me ever since, and partly because she was very fond of Agnes, and walked about our house.There was, it seemed to me, a curious tension between her and Mr. Wickfield (he seemed afraid of Mr. Wickfield).When she came here at night, she never let him take her back, but ran away with me.Sometimes, when we ran merrily together through the churchyard, without expecting to meet anyone, we often ran into Mr. Jack Melton, who was always surprised to see us. Mrs. Strong's mother was someone I liked very much.Her name is Mrs. Markland, but we students always call her Veteran, because she is very dignified, and because she is very skilled in leading a lot of relatives to fight against the doctor.She is small, with sharp eyes, and always wears a hat that never changes when she puts it on. The hat is decorated with some fake flowers and two fake butterflies that are imagined to be flying on the flowers.We were all blindly convinced that the hat was French, that it could only be made in the factories of that capable country; but I do know this: wherever Mrs. Markland was, there was the hat too. .When she went to a friend's party, she carried the hat with her in an Indian basket; and the two fake butterflies had a knack for quivering, like busy bees, not missing a chance to take advantage of the doctor. One evening I had a good opportunity to observe the veteran—I don't call her that disrespectfully.That evening was also marked by one incident, which I will describe shortly.That night, the Doctor's family held a small banquet to see Mr. Jack Melton off to India.Mr. Melton was there as a midshipman or something, and Mr. Wickfield finally settled the matter.It also happened to be the doctor's birthday that day.We were on vacation that day, and we gave him gifts in the morning, and the monitor representative spoke, and then we cheered to him, until our voice became hoarse and his tears flowed out, and it came to an end.晚上，威克费尔德先生，爱妮丝，还有我，去赴他以个人名义举办的宴会。 杰克·麦尔顿先生比我们到得早。斯特朗夫人在我进屋时正在弹琴，她穿着白衣，戴着大红的缎带蝴蝶结，麦尔顿先生则俯在她上面翻乐谱。她转过身时，我觉得她那红白分明的脸色不像往常那么艳丽如花，但她看上去非常非常美。 “我忘了，博士，”斯特朗夫人的妈妈说道，“忘了向你致生日贺词——虽说你知道我的贺词决不仅仅是贺词。祝你长命百岁。” “谢谢你，夫人。”博士答道。 “很长很长的命，”老兵说道，“不光是为了你，也为安妮，为杰克·麦尔顿，为许多其他的人。杰克，我觉得好像还是昨天，你还是个小家伙，比大卫少爷还矮一个头，在后花园的醋栗树丛后和安妮玩娃娃家恋爱的游戏。” “我亲爱的妈妈，”斯特朗夫人说道，“现在别提那些了。” “安妮，不要傻了，”她的母亲答道，“你现在是一个早就结过婚的老女人了，如果听到这样的话你还害羞，那你还要到什么时候才会听了不害羞呢？” “老？”杰克·麦尔顿先生叫了起来，“安妮？是吗？” “是的，杰克，”老兵答道；“的的确确，一个早就结了婚的老女人。虽说年纪并不算老；你什么时候或又有谁听到过我说一个二十岁的姑娘就算老了呢？你表妹做了博士太太，所以我才那么说她。你表妹做了博士太太，杰克，那可对你是有好处的呀。你知道了，他是一个有影响又心地好的朋友，如果你够格的话，我敢预言，他会心地更好呢。我不摆架子。我从不怕老老实实承认，说我们家有些人需要朋友帮忙。在你表妹用影响为你弄到个朋友之前，你就是那些人中的一个。” 出于好心，博士摇摇手，好像要把这事掩盖过去，不让杰克·麦尔顿先生的老底再被揭。可是，马克兰太太挪到博士旁边的一张椅子上坐下，把扇子放在他衣袖上，又说： “不，真的，我亲爱的博士，如果我把这事说得太多，你一定要原谅我，因为我太激动了。我把这叫做是我的偏执狂症，这话题是我最喜欢说到的。你是我们的福星，你是上天给我们的恩赐，你知道的。” “何足挂齿，何足挂齿。”博士说道。 “不，不，我请求你原谅，”老兵接着说道，“除了我们亲爱的忠实朋友威克费尔德先生，这里再没有别人，我不许人来拦我。我要开始维护我身为岳母的特权，如果你再这样，我可要骂你了。我是很诚实坦白的。我现在要说的是当初你向安妮求婚而使我吓了一跳时说的话——你还记得我那受吓的样子吗？——那求婚行为本身并没有什么怪异的地方——那么说太可笑了！——可是，因为你认识他那可怜的父亲，她才六个月大时你就认识了她，我也就从没往那方面想过，怎么也没想到你会是求婚的人——就是这样，你知道的。 “是呀，是呀，”博士和颜悦色地说，“别放在心上。” “可我偏要放在心上，”老兵把扇子放到博士的嘴上说道，“我把这非常放在心上。我来回忆这些，如果我错了就请纠正我。是啊！我就和安妮谈这事，告诉她发生了什么。我说，'亲爱的，斯特朗博士已正式向你求婚了。'我带了一点强迫的意思吗？没有。我说，'喏，安妮，你现在要对我说实话；你还没爱上什么人吧？''妈妈'，她哭着说，'我还很年轻呢。''那，我亲爱的，'，我说，'斯特朗博士情绪很激动，我们应该给他个答复，不能让他像现在这么心绪不宁啊。''妈妈'，安妮还是哭着说，'没有我，他就会不快活吗？如果是这样，我想我就答应他吧，因为我那么尊敬他，敬佩他。'于是这事就这么定了下来。这时，直到这时，我才对安妮说，'安妮，斯特朗博士不仅要成为你的夫君，还要代表你的亡父，他将成为我们一家之主的象征，代表我们家的精神和物质，我可以说是代表我们家的一切财产；一句话，他将成为我们家得到的恩赐。'那时我用了这个词，今天我又用过这个词。如果我还有一点长处，那就是始终如一。” 在这篇演说发表之际，那做女儿的眼盯着地面坐在那里，一声不响，一动不动；那位表兄也站在她身边盯着地面。做女儿的用发颤的声音很轻地问道： “妈妈，我希望你讲完了吧？” “没有，我亲爱的安妮，”老兵答道，“我还没说完呢。既然你问我，我亲爱的，我就回答说，我·还·没。我要说，你对你的家实在有点不近人情；对你说是没用的，我的意思是要对你的丈夫说，喏，我亲爱的博士，看看你那可爱的太太吧。” 博士天真仁慈地微笑着，和蔼地把脸转向她，这时她的头垂得更低了。我看到威克费尔德先生正目不转睛地看着她。 “有天，我无意间对那小淘气说，”她母亲开玩笑似地对她摇摇头和扇子说道，“她可以向你提出一个家庭的问题——我的确认为那问题应当提出——可她却说提出来就是求援、就因为你心地太好，每次她要求什么都能得到满足，她就不肯提出。” “安妮，我亲爱的，”博士说，“那就不对了。那等于夺去我的一种快乐呀。” “我对她几乎也这么说的！”她母亲大声说，“喏，真的，下一回，我知道她本可对你说却为了这个而不肯对你说时，我亲爱的博士，我真会亲口对你说呢。” “如果你肯，我就很高兴了。”博士说道。 “我能那样做吗？” "certainly." “哈，那我一定那样做！”老兵说，“一言为定了。”目的已达到（我猜想），她就用扇子把博士的手轻轻拍了几下（在这之前先吻了扇子），然后又得意洋洋地回到她先前的座位上去了。 又进来一些客人，其中有两位教员和亚当，话题变得广泛起来，自然也就转向了杰克·麦尔顿先生，他的旅行，他要去的国家，他的各种计划和希望。就在那天晚上，吃过晚饭后，他要坐马车去格雷夫森德，他要乘的船就泊在那里，他要去——除非他请假回来或因病而回——我也不知多少年呢。我记得，当时大家都一致认为印度是一个被人误传了的国家，它除了有一或两只老虎和天气暖和时有点点热之外，并没什么叫人不满意之处。至于我本人，则将杰克·麦尔顿先生看作现代的辛德巴德（他是《天方夜谭》那个了不起的探险家），把他想象一切东方君主国王的亲密朋友，这些君主国王都坐在华盖下吸着弯弯曲曲的金烟管——如果这些烟管拉直会足有一英里长呢。 据我所知，斯特朗夫人歌唱得非常出色，我常听到她独自一人唱。可是那天晚上不知是她怕在别人面前唱还是嗓子突然不对劲，反正她怎么也唱不了。有一次，她努力试着和她的表哥麦尔顿一起唱，可一开始就唱不出。后来，她又试着独唱，虽说开始还唱得很好，可突然又声音哑了，非常难堪地把头低垂在琴键上。博士说她神经衰弱；为了让她高兴起来，博士建议玩罗圈牌，而他对这种游戏的了解和他对于吹喇叭这事的了解一样深。我看到老兵立刻把他置于她的监管下，要他和她合伙；而合作的第一步是指示博士把口袋里所有的钱都交给她。 我们玩得很开心，博士虽然连连出错也没减少我们的快活。尽管那对蝴蝶密切监督，博士仍犯了无数错误，使得那对蝴蝶好不气愤。斯特朗夫人不肯玩，说是觉得不太舒服，她的表兄也以要收拾行李为借口告退了。可他收拾完行李后又回来了，他们就一起坐在沙发上谈话。她不时过来看看博士手里的牌，告诉他该怎么出。她俯在他肩头时，脸色苍白；她指点牌时，我觉得她手指发颤；可是博士因为被她关心而开心极了，就算她手指真的发颤，他也不会留心到的。 吃晚饭，我们都没先前那么高兴了。每个人似乎都觉得像那样离别是很令人难堪的。离别的时刻越近就令人难堪。杰克·麦尔顿先生想摆显摆显口才，却因为心绪不宁而反弄巧成拙。我觉得那老兵也没能改善现状，她一个劲回忆杰克·麦尔顿早年的事。 不过，我可以肯定地说那个自认为让大家都快活了的博士很开心，他确信我们都快活得不能再快活了。 “安妮，我亲爱的”，他一面看着表，一面把杯子添满，并说道，“你表兄杰克动身的时刻到了，我们不应再挽留他，因为时间和潮汐——和这次旅行都有关的两件事——不等任何人。杰克·麦尔顿先生，你前面是漫长的航程，还有一个陌生的国家；不过很多人都体验过这两种事，还有许多也将要体验它们。你将要遇到的风已把成千上万人吹送到幸运的地方，也把成千上万的平安吹送归家。” “亲眼看到一个还是他在孩子时就认识了他的好小伙子，”马克兰太太说道，“要去世界的那一头，把他的相识们都甩在身后，也不知前面有什么在等他，这实在太让人伤心动情了——不管怎么说都让人伤心动情。一个这样作出牺牲的小伙子，”她朝博士看着说，“真是值得对他不断支持和爱护呀。” “时间将和你一起飞快向前，杰克·麦尔顿先生，”博士接着说，“也和我们大家一起飞快向前。我们中或许有些人，按天道常理，不能指望能在你回来时欢迎你。希望能到时候欢迎你，那当然几乎是再好不过了，对我来说就如此。我不会用好意的告诫来烦你。你眼前就有一个好榜样，那就是你的表妹安妮。尽可能摹仿她那种德行吧。” 马克兰太太一面为自己搧扇，一面摇头。 “再见了，杰克先生，”博士站起来说道，我们也就都站了起来，“在旅途上一个顺利航行，在国外一番繁荣事业，在将来一次快乐还乡！” 我们都干了杯，都和杰克·麦尔顿先生握手；那之后，他匆匆和在场的女士告别，又匆匆走到门口。他上了马车后，我们这些学生又向他发出一阵惊天动地的欢呼声，就为了发出这欢呼，这些学生早就集合在草地上了。为了要赶过去加入这个队伍，我曾离开动的马车很近。在一片喧闹和一阵灰尘中，当车咕隆隆开过时，我看到杰克·麦尔顿先生表情激动，手拿一个红色的东西，这给我留下了一个很深的印象。 同学们又为博士发出欢呼，继而又为博士夫人发出欢呼，然后就散开了。于是，我回到屋里，发现客人们都围着博士站在那里，议论杰克·麦尔顿先生怎么离开，怎么忍受，有什么感觉，还有其它等等。在议论进行中，马克兰太太叫道： “安妮在哪儿呢？” 安妮不在那里，他们叫她，没听到她回答。人们一下涌出屋去找她，竟发现她就躺在走廊的地板上。大家先是恐慌，后来发现她处于昏厥状态中，便用常见的急救方法来使她逐渐清醒。博士把她的头托在膝盖上，用手分开她的卷发，向周围看看说道： “可怜的安妮！她很忠诚，很心软！和她昔日的伙伴和朋友，也就是她喜欢的表兄分开才使她成了这样。啊！可怜啊！ 我真难过！ " 她睁开眼，发现自己身处何地，发现我们站在她周围，就扶着人站了起来，把脸转过去，倚在博士肩上（也许是想把脸藏起来，我不能肯定究竟是为什么）。我们走进起居室，把她和她的母亲留下；可她说自早上起到现在她感到最好，她愿意和我们在一起。于是，他们把她扶进来，让她坐到一张沙发上。我觉得她看上去很苍白软弱。 “安妮，我亲爱的，”她母亲为她整理着衣服说道，“看到这里了吧！你丢了一条缎带。谁愿去找一条缎带，一条红色缎带打的结子？” 那是她戴在胸前的那只。我们都去找——我也到处认真找——但没人找到它。 “你记得你在哪里丢的吗，安妮？”她母亲说。 她回答说她认为刚才还在的，不过不值得去找。我很奇怪，她说这话时怎么脸那么白，一点红色也没有。 可是大家又去找，仍然没找着。她恳求大家不要再找了，可大家还是忙做一团地找，直到她完全清醒，客人才不找了而告辞。 我们很慢很慢地走回家，威克费尔德先生，爱妮丝，和我——爱妮丝和我赞赏月光，威克费尔德先生却几乎一直盯着地面。我们终于走到自己的门前时，爱妮丝发现她把小手袋忘在博士家了。总想为她做点事，我就连忙往回跑去找。 我走进放着那小手袋的餐厅，那里没人也没点灯。通向博士书房的门开着，书房里亮着灯，我便走去，想说明我来干什么并取支蜡烛。 博士坐在火炉边的安乐椅上，他那年轻的太太就坐在他脚前的凳子上。博士温和地微笑着，高声读那部没完没了的字典文稿中对某一学说加以阐述或解释的一部分，她则抬头看着他。不过，我从没看过那样的脸，它的样子那么美丽，它的颜色那么灰白，它的神情那么专一，它带着那么一种如梦如幻的巨大恐惧，好像惧怕一种我不知道的什么东西。她眼睛睁得大大的，她的褐色头发分成两大束披在肩上，还落在那因为失去了缎带而散乱的白衣裙上。虽说我对她那神情记得很清楚，但我不能说明它表现出的是什么意义。就是现在再次出现在更老练于判断的我之前，我还是不能说明它表现的是什么意义。忏悔，愧恨，羞惭，骄傲，热爱，忠诚，我在那上面都看到了；在这种种中，我仍看到对于我不知究竟的某种东西的深深恐惧。 我走进去的响动，还有我说我要做什么的说话声，把她惊动了，也惊动了博士。当我把桌上拿走的蜡烛送回时，他正像慈父那样拍着她的头，说他自己是只残忍的蜂王竟这么任她怂恿着一个劲读，他实在早该让她去睡了。 可她急切地恳请他让她留下——让她在那天晚上能的确感受到（我听到的低声的只言片语大意如此）他对她的信任。我离开那儿走到门口时，她看了我一眼就又转向他。这时，我看到她把双手交叉放在他膝盖上，还是那样仰脸看着他，还是那样的表情，他又开始读手稿时，她的表情才平静了点。 这一幕给我留下了深刻的印象，很久很久以后我都还记得；有机会时我还会再予以叙述。