Chapter 6 immortal(6)

5 Bettina was the daughter of Maximilian Lajoche, whom Goethe fell in love with when he was twenty-three.If the few holy kisses between them are neglected, then this is only a non-physical, purely emotional love, leaving no results and effects.The reason is also very simple, because Maximiliana's mother married her daughter to a wealthy Italian businessman Brian Tano without saying a word.Discovering that the young poet was still trying to hook up with his wife, Briantano kicked him out of the gate and warned him never to show his face again.Maximiliana later bore twelve children, (the Italian stallion had twenty in his lifetime!) One of them was named Elisabeth, and this was Bettina.

Bettina had taken a liking to Goethe from the very beginning when she was a grown girl.Firstly, because the whole of Germany thought he was on his way to the Hall of Fame; secondly, she had heard about the relationship he had with his mother.Full of excitement, she let herself be absorbed in that remote love affair, all the more fascinated by its remoteness, (God, it happened thirteen years before her birth!) and she gradually developed a feeling that she should have some secret love. Power gets the great poet because she can symbolically (who takes metaphors seriously if not a poet?) to see herself as his daughter.

Unfortunately, it is a well-known fact that men have a bad habit of avoiding fatherhood, defaulting on alimony, and neglecting their children.They don't understand that children are the crystallization of love.Yes, every time the fruit of love is a child, there is no fundamental difference as to whether it is actually conceived or born.In the mathematics of love, the child symbolizes the incredible sum of two lives.A man who loves a woman, even if he has never touched her, must consider this tactility, and his love will bear a seed, which will come to this world thirteen years after the last meeting of the two lovers .These are the thoughts Bettina pondered over and over again, and finally, she mustered up the courage to go to Weimar to find Goethe.It was the spring of 1807, she was twenty-two (the same age Goethe had been when he courted her mother), but she still felt like a child.This feeling acts as a kind of mystical protection, childhood is her shield.

Keeping her childhood shield on her chest is a strategy she has used all her life.She has been accustomed to relying on small clothes since she was a child. This is not only a strategy, but also a natural expression.She had always been somewhat infatuated with her brother, the poet Clemens Bryantano, and she found nothing more comfortable in his lap.Even then (she was fourteen), she knew how to let herself play three roles at once: child, sister, lovely woman, and derive pleasure from this blurred triplet.Who can push a child off his lap?Not even Goethe could do such a thing. In 1807, when they met for the first time, she sat on his lap, of course, this is her own description, believe it or not: at first, she sat on the sofa, facing Goethe; In mournful tones he spoke of the Duchess of Amelia, who had just passed away a few days before.Bettina said she knew nothing about the matter. "How is this possible?" Goethe asked in amazement. "Are you not interested in life in Weimar?" Bettina said: "I am only interested in you." Goethe smiled slightly and said the following to the young woman The fate-determining word: "You are such a lovely child." As soon as she heard the word "child", her shyness disappeared immediately.She claimed the sofa was uncomfortable and jumped up.Goethe said, "Then sit where you feel comfortable." Before he finished speaking, Bettina had already sat on his lap and hugged him.Just being so close to him made her feel extremely comfortable.Soon fell asleep.

Whether this was really the case, or whether Bettina invented it all, is hard to say.Still, it would be better if she made it up: she revealed how she should be seen, she described her approach to men: being small so she could say whatever she wanted (claiming indifference to the Duchess' death , said it was uncomfortable to sit on the sofa, and countless visitors have already been grateful to be able to sit here); pretending to be a child, she can jump on his lap and hug him; what's more, pretending to be Like a child, she can sleep on him! There is nothing more effective than pretending to be a child.A child can do whatever he likes, because he is innocent and inexperienced; he does not have to follow the rules, because he has not yet entered a world where rules are everywhere; he can express his feelings as he pleases, whether they are appropriate or not, those who Naïve people who do not want to learn about Bettina often say that she is crazy (on one occasion she danced with joy and sorrow, slipped and fell, and knocked her head on the corner of the table), uneducated (at social gatherings, she did not have a chair to sit in, and she was partial). to sit on the ground), perverse and incorrigible.However, those willing to keep her as a child forever are mesmerized by her spontaneous nature.

Goethe was deeply moved by the child.She reminded him of his own youth, and he gave Bettina a very beautiful ring as a present.In his diary that night he made only a brief entry: Miss Brientano. 6 How many times did Goethe and Bettina, these famous lovers, actually meet?She visited him again later that year, in the autumn of 1806, and stayed in Weimar for ten days.She did not see him again until three years later: she went to the Teplitz spa in Bohemia for three days, and unexpectedly Goethe also happened to be recuperating there.A year later, at the end of that crucial two-week trip to Weimar, Christiana knocked down her glasses.

How many times had they been alone face to face?Three times, or four times, no more.The less they met, the more letters they wrote. To be exact, she wrote him more letters.She wrote him fifty-two long letters, in which she used du to express intimacy, and the whole letter was about love.But in all fairness, nothing really happened except the overwhelming rhetoric, and we have to ask, why did their relationship become so famous? The answer is simple: because from the beginning this matter has been concerned only with love and nothing else. Goethe soon realized this.And he first felt this omen when Bettina revealed to him that long before her first visit to Weimar she had made the acquaintance of his old mother, who also lived in Frankfurt.She kept asking the old lady about her son's situation. The old man was flattered and overjoyed, and told her dozens of old stories all day long.Bettina thought her friendship with his mother would open Goethe's door, and his heart.This estimate is not entirely correct.Goethe found his mother's doting a bit funny (he didn't even bother to visit her from Weimar), and he already smelled a danger in the alliance of a girl who went her own way with a simple-minded mother.

I can imagine that when Bettina recounted the story she heard from the old lady, Goethe's inner feelings must be very complicated.At first he was, of course, flattered to see a young woman so attracted to him.Her story would awaken many dormant memories in him, and would entertain him.But he soon discovers that some anecdotes are impossible, that things that now seem so absurd should never have happened.What was even more embarrassing was that these stories came from Bettina's mouth, and his teenage years took on a tone and meaning that made him uncomfortable.Not that Bettina wanted to use these childhood memories against him, but because a person (anyone, not only Goethe) has an unspeakable feeling when he hears that his life is interpreted differently from his own version. disgust.Goethe felt threatened: the girl had an affair with a gang of young intellectuals of the Romantic movement (whom Goethe had absolutely no liking for), she was ambitious, disturbing, and rightly assumed (a kind of shameless Confidence) She will be a writer.One day she told him bluntly that she wanted to write a book based on his mother's memories, a book about him, Goethe!He realized that behind her sweet words of love, there were murderous pens and inks hidden, and he immediately became alert.

Precisely because he was always on his guard against her, he tried to avoid any unpleasantness.He was careful not to fall out with her, she was too dangerous; he preferred to adopt a soft strategy and hold her down.But he also knows that it must not be overdone, because once a small gesture is understood by her as an expression of affection (she has reached the point where he regards every sneeze as loving her), it will make her more daring. Once she wrote to him and said: "Don't burn my letters, don't tear them up; it will hurt you, because the love I expressed for you in the letter has been connected with you by flesh and blood, and cannot be separated. But don't show them to anyone, and hide them like a beauty." At first, seeing Bettina smugly comparing her letter to a beauty, he just smiled slightly, but then read "Don't show it to anyone." ", he couldn't help being startled.What does she mean?Does he mean to show the letter to others?The imperative sentence "don't be seen by others" used by Bettina just reveals her desire to "be seen by others".He can already predict that the letters he wrote to her every now and then will have other readers sooner or later. Thinking of this, he realizes that he is already in the position of the defendant, and the court is warning him: From now on, every word you say Every word will be used against you.

Therefore, he tried to find a middle way between kindness and restraint: to her hot letters, his reply was always friendly and restrained, and for a long time, although she used the tweed address du But he always responded with a businesslike sie.If they happened to meet in the same city, he would invite her to visit him like a father, but he always arranged for someone else to be present. So what is at stake for them? In 1809, Bettina wrote to him: "I have a strong desire to love you forever." Please read this seemingly ordinary sentence carefully.Even more important than the word "love" are the words "forever" and "wish".

I don't want to whet your appetite any more.What is at stake between them is not love, but immortality behind them. 7 In 1810 they met by chance in Teplitz, spent three days together, and she announced that she would soon marry the poet Achim von Arnim.She was probably a little embarrassed when she announced it, because she didn't know whether Goethe regarded her marriage as a betrayal of her so-called love that she had sworn to.After all, she did not know enough about men to guess that the news would please Goethe secretly. As soon as Bettina left, he wrote to Christiana in Weimar, in which there was such a gleeful sentence: "Mit Arnim ists wohl gewiss." It was basically a foregone conclusion with Arnim.In this letter, he rejoices that Bettina is now "prettier and more tender than ever", and we can guess why he feels this way: he knows that once she has a husband, it will be like a shield. Get rid of her promiscuousness, so that he can maintain a more calm and content state of mind to appreciate her moving parts. In order to understand this, we must not forget an important fact: Goethe was obsessed with women since his youth, and he had been chasing women for forty years when he met Bettina; Set up a mechanism to seduce women, and the mechanism will work with a little impulsiveness.So far, with Bettina, he has always maintained restraint, of course with great difficulty.However, when he found that "the deal with Arnim is basically a foregone conclusion", he finally breathed a sigh of relief, because he would not have to be so cautious in the future. That evening, she came to his room again and made a childish appearance again.She told him some anecdote in a lively escapade; Goethe sat in the armchair and she sat on the floor.Because he was in a good mood (“It’s almost a foregone conclusion with Arnim”!) He leaned over and patted her on the cheek, the way we usually pat a child.But at this moment, the child suddenly fell silent, and raised a pair of eyes full of woman's longing and request towards him.He took her hands and lifted her from the floor.Please don't forget this scene: he is sitting, she is standing facing him, the evening sun is outside the window.She gazed into his fierce eyes, and he gazed into hers; the seduction mechanism was activated, but he did not restrain himself.While staring at her intently, he asked her to show her breasts in a softer tone than usual.She said nothing, remained motionless, and blushed.He got up from his seat and unbuttoned her chest.She was still staring into his eyes, and the afterglow of the setting sun merged with the flush on her cheeks, spreading to her heart.He put his hand on her chest. "Has anyone ever touched your breasts?" he asked. "No." she replied. "I feel a little strange when you touch me." She still looked into his eyes as she spoke.He put his hand on her chest, staring at each other, sucking and savoring the shame from the depths of the eyes of the girl whose breasts had never been touched greedily for a long time. The above is roughly Bettina's own description of the scene at the time, and it is likely to be nothing. In the story of the two of them, which is probably rhetorical rather than lustful, this may be the only colorful chapter involving sexual excitement. 8 The magic of that moment lingered on both of them long after they parted.In letters after this meeting, Goethe called her Allerliebste, dearest.But he did not forget the danger he was facing, that is, in this letter, he said that he was preparing to write his memoir "Poetry and Truth" and needed her help: his mother was dead, and no one could recall his youth .Bettina had lived with her for a long time, and asked her to write and send him the old lady's memories of her past! Didn't he know that Bettina herself wished to publish a book of anecdotes about Goethe's childhood?Wasn't it known that she had contacted the publisher?Of course he knows!I'm pretty sure he asked her for help not out of necessity, but to keep her from publishing a word about him herself.Because the magic of the previous meeting made her let down her guard, and because she was worried that marrying Arnim would create a gap between Goethe and Goethe, she agreed to Goethe's request.He managed to subdue her, like defusing a time bomb. Soon, in September 1811, she came to Weimar; this time with her young husband, and, moreover, she was pregnant.There is no greater joy than to see a woman we once feared disarmed and no longer a threat.But as far as Bettina was concerned, despite her pregnancy, despite her marriage, despite the impossibility of writing a book about him, she did not feel disarmed in the slightest, she had no intention of giving up the fight.Don't get me wrong: it's not about love, it's about immortality. Faced with his status in the world, it is only natural for Goethe to consider immortality after death.And an unknown young woman like Bettina, would she have thought of this question so early?Yes, without a doubt.One begins to think about immortality from childhood.Moreover, Bettina belonged to the generation of Romantics, who were obsessed with death from the first sight of the light.Novaris did not live to be thirty, young enough, but it was death that gave him the greatest inspiration; death, like a witch who casts magic; death, transformed into the essence of poetry.The Romantics had transcendent beings, they transcended themselves, they stretched their arms into the distant future, the end of life, and then beyond, all the way to the inanimate beyond life.As I have already pointed out, where there is death there is immortality, its companion; and the Romantics spoke of death as familiarly as Bettina spoke of Goethe. The years from 1807 to 1811 were the best of her life.In 1810 she visited Beethoven in Vienna, but did not announce it.Suddenly she was the confidant of two of the most immortal Germans, a beautiful poet and an ugly composer, with whom she flirted.This double immortality intoxicated her.At that time, Goethe was old (in those days, a person of sixty was considered an old man), and should have died long ago; and Beethoven, though only forty, actually died five years earlier than Goethe.So Bettina stood between them, like a gentle angel between two sooty tombstones.Goethe has almost no teeth left, and she doesn't care, how wonderful it is.On the contrary, the older he gets, the more attractive he becomes.For the nearer he is to death, the nearer is he to immortality.Only the dead Goethe could hold her hand tightly and lead her into the Hall of Fame.The closer he was to death, the less willing she was to abandon him. That is why, in that fateful September of 1811, even though she was married and pregnant, she went all the way to pretend to be a child.She talks and laughs loudly, sits on the floor, on the table, on the mirror stage, even on the chandelier; she climbs trees and jumps when she walks; when others are talking seriously, she wants to sing, and when others sing, she is serious Get up; in short, she did her best to be alone with Goethe.However, for two whole weeks, she only succeeded once.According to her, the situation this time is roughly like this: That night, they sat by the window in his room.She talked about the soul, and then about the stars.Now Goethe looked out of the window and pointed to a large star for Bettina to see.But Bettina is nearsighted and can't see anything.So Goethe handed her a pair of binoculars: "We are so lucky! That's Jupiter! It looks especially beautiful this autumn!" Bettina wanted to discuss the lovers' stars, not the astronomer's constellations, so although she glanced through the binoculars, But deliberately said that the multiple of the telescope is not enough.Goethe patiently went to get another pair of binoculars with a higher magnification, and insisted on letting her look at it again, but she still insisted that she couldn't see anything.So Goethe had to discuss Jupiter, Mars, other planets, the sun, and the Milky Way with her.He talked for a long time, and when he finished, she got up and said goodbye, and although she didn't feel sleepy at this time, it was entirely her own intention, and she went to bed.A few days later, she was at an art exhibition and gave her opinion that everything on display was terrible, and Christiana knocked her glasses to the ground. ① Novaris (1772-1810), German Romantic poet and novelist.