Chapter 4 Chapter Four

I spent three days in a row looking up her phone number - the one I lent to Bizzi.Girls from Boyz Records. I went to the high school office to check the roster and found it.But when I called that number, the voice on the tape said the number was no longer in use.I called the directory and gave her name.The operator searched for 5 minutes, and finally said that the name was confiscated in the phone book - and almost didn't say how that name was taken.I thank you and put down the receiver. The next day, I called some of my high school classmates to ask if they knew her situation.But none of them knew anything, and most of them didn't even remember that she ever existed.For some reason, the last person actually said "I don't want to talk to you", and hung up immediately.

On the third day, I went to my alma mater again and inquired about the name of the university she attended in the office.It was a second-rate women's university near the foot of the mountain, and she majored in English.I called the university office and said I was a macomic salad dressing reviewer and wanted to get in touch with her about the comment, wanted her exact address and phone number, and politely said it was a big deal please Take care of me.The clerk said to look it up immediately, and asked me to call again in 15 minutes.I drank a bottle of beer and called again.This time the other party told me that she had applied to drop out of school in March this year because of illness.

As for the illness, whether he has recovered to the point where he can eat salad now, and why he quit school instead of applying for a suspension of study, etc., the other party does not know. I asked her if she knew the old address—the old address is also fine. After checking, she replied that she was boarding near the school.So I called there again, and a person who was probably the hostess answered, saying that she had moved out of the room in spring and didn't know where she was going, so she hung up the phone all of a sudden, as if she didn't want to know. This is the last thread connecting me and her.

I went home and drank a beer and listened to "California Girls" by myself. The phone rang. I was leaning on the wicker chair, half awake and half asleep, staring blankly at the book that had already been opened. In the evening, a heavy torrential rain hit, wet the leaves of the trees in the yard, and then left suddenly.After the rain, the humid south wind with the smell of the sea began to blow, gently shaking the potted foliage plants lined up on the balcony and shaking the curtains. "Hey, hello," the woman said, her tone as if she was carefully placing a thin glass on an unstable table. "still remember me?"

I pretended to think about it for a while, and said: "How are the records selling?" "Not so good. . . . Bad, sure. Who's gonna listen to a record!" "Uh." She tapped the side of the receiver lightly with her fingernail. "It's hard for me to find your phone number!" "yes?" "Inquired about it in the jazz bar. They asked your friend, that big queer guy who read Molière." "No wonder." silent. "Everyone is quite lonely, saying that you haven't come for a week, is it because you are not feeling well?"

"I really didn't know I would be so popular." "...are you mad at me?" "How did you see that?" "Did I speak too much, I want to apologize to you." "Ah, you don't have to mind that. If you're still worried, just scatter beans in the park and feed the pigeons!" She sighed and lit a cigarette over the receiver.Bobo came from behind.Dylan's "Nashville Skyline."Probably called the store. "It's not how you feel, at least I shouldn't talk like that, I think," she said repeatedly. "It's pretty strict with yourself!"

"Ah, I've always wanted to do that." She was silent for a while, "Can we meet tonight?" "no problem." "At the jazz bar at 8 o'clock, okay?" "As ordered" "...Hey, I have encountered a lot of bad luck." "clear." "thanks." She puts down the phone. It's a long story, I'm 21 now. Young is certainly very young, but after all, today is not what it used to be.If you are dissatisfied with this, you will have to jump off the roof of a New York skyscraper on Sunday morning. I heard such a joke from a thrilling movie before:

"Hey, I always hold an umbrella when I pass under the skyscrapers in New York because people are always falling from them." I'm 21, at least right now I don't have any thoughts of suicide.I've slept with three girls before this. The first girl is a high school classmate.We were both 17 years old and we both believed in loving each other.In the twilight of the grass, she took off her strapless shoes, white cotton socks, light green seersucker dress, and oddly styled briefs that were obviously not the right size. After a moment of hesitation, she took off her watch too .Immediately we hugged each other on the daily edition of the Asahi Shimbun.

We went our separate ways within a few months of graduating high school.The reason has been forgotten--the reason for forgetting and not taking it seriously.Haven't seen it since then.At night when I can't sleep, I think of her from time to time, that's all. The second is a married girl whom I met at a subway station.At the age of 16, he has no money, no shelter, and almost no breasts, but he has beautiful eyes and seems to have a bright mind.It was the night of the most massive demonstration in Shinjuku, and both trains and cars were completely paralyzed. "Walk around in this kind of place, be careful not to be dragged away!" I said to her.She squatted in the closed ticket gate, flipping through the newspapers she picked up from the trash can.

"But the police will give me food." "It's going to be cleaned up!" "got used to." I lit a cigarette and gave her one too.Because of tear gas.Eyes throbbing and hurting. "Didn't you eat?" "From morning." Hey, here's something to eat.Get out anyway! " "Why give me something to eat?" "This—" I didn't know why, but I still dragged her out of the ticket gate and walked along the deserted street to Mejiro. This absolutely reticent teenage girl lived in my dorm for about a week.She sleeps until noon every day, smokes after eating, reads books, watches TV, and sometimes has uninteresting sexual intercourse with me.Her only possession was the white canvas bag, which contained a thicker trench coat, two T-shirts, a pair of jeans, three dirty underwear, and a pack of sanitary belts.

"Where did you come from?" I asked her once. "A place you don't know." After saying that, he refused to speak again. One day when I came back from the self-selected shopping mall with the grocery bag in my arms, she was gone, and neither was the white canvas bag.A few other things were missing: a small change lying on the table, a pack of cigarettes, and my freshly laundered T-shirt.On the table was a scrap of paper torn from a notebook in the form of a message, with only one sentence written on it: "Nasty guy".Must be referring to me. The third is a girl majoring in French who I met in the university library.The following spring she hanged herself in a bleak weed next to the tennis court.The body was not found until school started, and it swayed in the wind for two weeks.Now at dusk, no one approached the woods again. She seemed uncomfortable sitting at a table in a jazz bar, swirling ginger ale with a straw that had melted away from the ice. "I thought you weren't coming." When I sat beside her, she said with relief. "It's by no means to say that it doesn't count. It's a little late for something." "What's up?" "Shoes, shoe shine." "These basketball shoes?" She pointed to my sneakers and asked in great confusion. "Where. Father's shoes. Family motto: Children must shine their father's leather shoes." "why?" "I can't tell. I think the shoes must be some kind of symbol. Anyway, my father comes back at exactly eight o'clock every night, and I come to polish the shoes, and then go out to drink beer, every day." "Good habits." "You think so?" "Well. You should thank your father." "I'm always thankful that he only has two feet." She sneered. "Your house must be very grand, right?" "Ah, if you are grand and have no money, I'm afraid you will be so happy that you shed tears." She continued to stir the ginger ale with the end of the straw. "But my family is much poorer." "how do you know?" "Smell! Just as a rich man can smell a rich man, a poor man can smell a poor man." I poured the beer Jay had brought into the mug. "Where are the parents?" "Prefer not to say." "why?" "A decent man wouldn't go on telling people about his home, would he?" "Are you a decent person?" She thought for 15 seconds. "I think so, and quite earnestly. Everyone does?" I decided not to answer this. "But it's better to say it," I said. "why?" "First of all, sooner or later it must be told; and secondly, I will never tell it to anyone." She smiled and lit a cigarette.During the time of taking three puffs of cigarettes, she just silently stared at the seams of the splicing table tops. "Father died of brain swelling 5 years ago. It was very miserable. It took two years. We spent all our money because of this, and there was nothing left. And the whole family also blossomed in the sky. It's a common thing. , isn't it?" I nod. "Where's mother?" "Alive somewhere. There's a New Year's card." "Like you don't like it?" "That's right." "brothers and sisters?" "There is a twin sister, and nothing else." "Where do you live?" "30,000 light-years away." After that, she smiled nervously and changed the soda cup to her side. "It's really not very authentic to speak ill of family members, and it doesn't feel good in my heart." "Never mind. Anyone must have his own mind." "You also?" "Yeah. I often squeeze the empty box of shaving cream and cry." She seemed to be smiling happily—a smile she hadn't seen for many years. "Hey, why are you drinking ginger ale?" I asked. "Uh... I have this plan, forget it." "What to drink?" "A thoroughly chilled white wine." My name is Lai Jie, and I ordered new beer and white wine. "Let me ask you, how does it feel to have a twin sister?" "Oh, it's kind of unbelievable. Same face, same IQ, same size bra... It's annoying to think about it." "Often mistaken?" "Well, before the age of 8. At the age of 8, I only had 9 fingers left, and no one got it wrong anymore." As she spoke, she neatly put her hands together on the table like a pianist at a concert when she is concentrating, and watched intently under the low light.That small hand is as cold as a cocktail glass; the four fingers are happily arranged in a row as if they were born with it.Its naturalness is almost miraculous, at least far more decent than the arrangement of six fingers. "When I was 8 years old, my little finger got stuck in the motor of the electric sweeper and flew off." "Where are you now?" "what?" "Little Thumb!" "Forgot." She smiled, "You are the first one to ask such a question." "Will realize there's no pinky finger?" "Yes, when wearing gloves." "also?" She shook her head. "It wouldn't be a lie to say it at all. But it's about the level that other girls realize that they have thicker necks or darker hair on their calves." I nod. "what are you doing?" "University, Tokyo." "Come back to visit now?" "yes." "Learn what?" "Biology. Likes animals." "I would also like." I drank my beer in a gulp and grabbed some crisps. "Let me tell you...the famous leopard in Pagorpur, India, ate 350 Indians in 3 years." "real?" "Colonel Kim Corbett, a British man known as the Leopard Killer, killed 125 tigers and leopards in 8 years. Still like animals?" She put out her cigarette, took a sip of wine, and looked into my face with a sincere heart: "There's something special about you!" Fortnight after the death of the third girlfriend, I read Michelet's.Well written, with this section: "Lemmy, the excellent judge of the Lorraine district court, burned eight hundred witches. And he is still proud of this 'politic of terror.' He said: 'Because of my justice, the ten people arrested recently Without waiting for others to do it, I voluntarily hanged myself." (translated by Koichiro Hashita)" "Because I do justice everywhere", these words are really wonderful. The phone rang. I'm putting a crimson lotion on my face -- it's flushed from the pool all day.After the bell rang several times, I had no choice but to give up, removed the pieces of cotton gauze that were neatly assembled into a square pattern on my face, and got up from the sofa to take the receiver. "Hello, it's me." "Oh," I said. "what to do?" "Did not do anything." I wiped my aching face with the towel wrapped around my neck. "I was so happy yesterday, I haven't been this happy in a long time." "That's good." "Hmm... do you like steak stew?" "what." "It's ready. I'll eat alone for a week, won't you come?" "Not bad." "Okay, an hour later! If it's late, I'll just dump it in the trash. Understand?" "I say……" "I'm not willing to wait for someone, it's over." Speaking of this, before I could speak, I hung up the phone. I slumped back on the couch, listening to the first 40 minutes of the radio, staring dreamily at the ceiling. Ten minutes later, I took a hot shower, gave myself a good shave, and put on the shirt and shorts I had just picked up from the laundry.A refreshing evening.I drove along the seaside boulevard, watching the sunset.Before entering the national highway, I bought two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes. She cleared the table and set out the white dishes. I used a fruit knife to uncork the wine and put it in the middle.The steam from the steak stew made the room very stuffy. "I didn't expect it to be so hot, it's like hell." "Hell is hotter." "Like you've seen." "I heard from people. Because it was too hot, when the heat was going crazy, I was sent to a cooler place, and returned to the original place after a while." "It's like a sauna." "Almost. There are also some guys in there who go crazy and never return to the original place." "Then what to do?" "Being taken to the kingdom of heaven, where the walls are painted. That is to say, the walls of the kingdom of heaven must be kept white at all times, even if there is a little stain, because it will affect the appearance. In this way, those who paint the walls from morning till night Almost all of them have bronchitis." She didn't ask any more questions.I carefully took out the cork shavings that had fallen into the bottle, and filled two cups. "Cold wine warms the heart," she said as they toasted. "What is this?" "Television commercial. Cold wine warms the heart. Haven't seen it?" "No." "Don't watch TV?" "Occasionally. I used to watch it often. My favorite is the famous dog Laxi, of course it is the first generation." "Do you like animals?" "Ok." "I watch it when I have time. I watch everything for a day. I watched the discussion meeting of biologists and chemists yesterday. Did you watch it too?" "No." She took a sip of wine, shook her head lightly as if suddenly remembering, and said: "Paszl has scientific intuition." "Scientific intuition?" "...that is, the average scientist thinks like this: A equals B, and B equals C, so A equals C, Q, E, D, right?" I nodded yes. "But Pascal is different. The only thing in his head is that A is equal to C, and he doesn't need any proof. However, the correctness of the theory has been proved by history, and he has made countless valuable discoveries in his life." "Vaccination." She put the wine glass on the table, looked at me in surprise and said: "Look at you, isn't it Jenna who vaccinated? You actually went to college at your level." "...Rabies antibody, and sterilization, right?" "Yes." She smiled smugly but without showing her teeth, drank the wine in the glass and refilled it herself. "It's called scientific intuition in the TV seminars. Do you have it?" "hardly." "Yes, what do you think?" "Maybe useful. Probably useful when sleeping with girls." She smiled and went to the kitchen to bring a saucepan, a salad plate, and rolls.There is a little cool breeze blowing through the wide open windows. We listened to music on her record player and ate at a leisurely pace.During this time, she mostly asked about my university and life in Tokyo.There is no anecdote, nothing more than experimenting with cats (I lied: Of course I don’t kill them, mainly for psychological experiments. In fact, I killed 36 cats, large and small, in two months), demonstrations and the like . I also showed her the remains of the front teeth broken by the mobile team. "Want revenge?" "Not at all." I said. "Then why? If I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't find the policeman and knock out several of his front teeth with a hammer." "I am me, and everything is in the past. Besides, the mobile team members all have the same appearance, and they cannot be recognized at all." "Then, isn't it pointless?" "significance?" "It means that the teeth have been knocked out!" "No." I said. She snorted in disappointment and took a bite of the stewed steak. We drank our after-dinner coffee, stood side by side in the narrow kitchen, finished washing the dishes, turned back to the table, lit our cigarettes, and began to listen to M. J． Q's record. She was wearing a thin shirt where the shape of her breasts could be clearly seen, and a pair of loose cloth shorts around her waist, and their feet touched under the table countless times—I felt a little blush every time. "tasty?" "very good." She bit her lower lip slightly: "Why do I ask you a question?" "This——, my bad habit. I can't always remember the key words." "Can I give you a word of advice?" "Please." "If you don't change it, you will suffer!" "Probably. It's the same as a broken car. It's just repaired here, and there's a problem there." She smiled and changed the record to Ma Bin.base.The hour hand is almost 8 o'clock. "Don't you need to shine your shoes today?" "Wipe in the middle of the night, with your teeth." She propped her two slender arms on the table, resting her chin on her hands, staring into my eyes and talking comfortably.This made me very flustered.Sometimes I lit a cigarette, and sometimes I pretended to look out the window and averted my eyes.But every time she stared at it even more amusedly. "Hey, it's okay to believe." "What do you believe?" "You didn't do anything to me last time." "Why do you think so?" "Want to hear?" "No." I said. "I know you say that." She chuckled.Pour wine into the glass for me, and then look out the window, as if thinking about something. "I often think: How nice it would be to live without causing trouble to anyone! Do you think it can be done?" she asked. "how to say……" "Hey, am I causing you trouble?" "It doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter now?" "Now." She quietly stretched out her hand across the table, joined mine, and took a long time to take it back. "The trip starts tomorrow." "Where are you going?" "Not yet. I'm going to find a quiet and cool place. About a week." I nod. "I'll call you when I get back." In the car on the way home, I vividly thought of the girl I had a tryst with at the beginning.It was seven years ago. Throughout the tryst, she kept asking me if I was bored. We saw a movie starring Presley.The theme song is this: I had a fight with her, So write to her: I was wrong, forgive me. But the letter returns as-is: 'The name is unknown and the address is poor'. Time flies really fast.