Chapter 2 Chapter two

When I was young, I was a very taciturn teenager.My parents were very worried and took me to the home of a psychiatrist I knew. The doctor's house is located on a high slope with a view of the sea.As soon as I sat down on the sofa in the sunny living room, a well-behaved middle-aged woman brought me frozen orange juice and two fried cakes.I was careful—that the sugar granules did not fall on my lap—and ate half the fritters and drank the orange juice. "Drink more?" the doctor asked.I shake my head.It was only the two of us left in the room looking at each other.A portrait of Mozart stared at me like a timid cat from the front wall, as if resenting me for something.

"A long time ago, there was a very cute sheep in one place." Great start.So I closed my eyes and imagined that cute goat. "The goat always had a heavy gold watch around his neck, and he went around wheezing and wheezing. But the gold watch was so heavy and so broken that it couldn't go. Then the rabbit friend came up and said, 'Hey! Lamb, why do you always wear that watch that doesn't move? It's heavy and useless, isn't it?' "It's heavy," said the goat. It’s good if it’s not heavy.’” At this point, the doctor took a sip of his own orange juice and looked at me with a smile.I silently wait for the next one.

"One day the goat celebrated his birthday, and the rabbit brought a beautiful box with a gift belt. Inside was a new shiny, light and accurate watch. The goat was so happy that he hung it around his neck and walked around for everyone to see. .” The conversation stopped suddenly. "You are the goat, I am the rabbit, and the watch is your heart." Feeling fooled, I nodded resignedly. Every Sunday afternoon, I took the tram and then the bus to the doctor's house, and ate coffee rolls, apple crisps, pancakes, and honey-dipped croissants for my treatment.It took about a year, and I ended up going back to the dentist.

"Civilization is communication," he said. "If you can't express something, it doesn't exist, understand? It's zero. For example, if you are hungry, just say 'hungry' and you will solve the problem. I will give You cookie, you eat it (I grabbed a cookie). But if you don't say anything, there's no cookie (the doctor and man hide the cookie under the table), it's zero, see ? You are unwilling to speak, but your stomach is empty, so you must want to express it without words, that is, with the help of facial expressions. Try it!" So I clutched my stomach and made a painful expression.The doctor laughed and said it was indigestion.

indigestion…… What follows is a free discussion. "Just say something to the cat, anything." I pretended to think, shaking my head in circles. "Say what comes to mind." "A cat is a four-legged animal." "Elephants too! "Cats are much smaller." "anything else?" "Cats are kept at home and catch mice when they are happy." "What to eat?" "fish." "Where's the sausage?" "Eat too." That's how it sang. The doctor said it well, civilization is communication.Civilization dies when that which needs to be expressed and communicated is lost: click...OFF.

Unbelievably, in the spring of 14, I suddenly burst into words like a river bank.I don’t remember what I said, but I talked for three months straight as if I wanted to fill up the 14-year gap.By the time I finished speaking in mid-July, I developed a high fever of 40 degrees and did not go to school for three days.After the fever subsided, I became an ordinary boy who was neither tongue-tied nor garrulous. It was not yet 6 o'clock in the morning when I opened my eyes, probably because my throat was thirsty.Waking up in someone else's home always gives me the feeling that I've just stuffed another soul into another body.I reluctantly got up from the narrow bed, walked to the simple sink by the door, drank several glasses of water in one breath like a horse, and then got back on the bed.

From the wide-open windows, you can vaguely see the sea: the sparkling fine waves refract the newly rising sun brightly.Looking closely, I saw the dirty cargo ship listlessly floating on the water.Looks like it's going to be a hot day.The surrounding residents are still soundly asleep.All that can be heard are the occasional roar of tram tracks and the faint melody of radio gymnastics. I leaned against the back of the bed naked, lit a cigarette, and looked at the girl sleeping next to me.The sun's rays coming in directly from the south window sprinkled her whole body from top to bottom.She kicked the towel all the way to the soles of her feet, and slept soundly and dead.The well-shaped breasts trembled up and down with the heavy breathing from time to time.The body was originally well tanned, but the color had started to fade a bit due to the passage of time.The unexposed part in the shape of a swimsuit is so unnaturally white that it looks rotting.

After smoking, I tried to remember her name, but I couldn't remember it for 10 minutes, and I couldn't even remember whether I knew her name.I had no choice but to give up, yawned, and looked at her body again.His age seems to be a few years away from twenty years old, and he is a little on the thin side in general.I stretched my fingers as far as possible and measured their lengths sequentially from the head.I moved my fingers 8 times, and when I finally measured the heel, there was still a thumb-width distance—about 158 ​​cm. There is a shallow mole on the lower part of the right breast, the size of a 10 yuan coin, like soy sauce sprinkled on it.

The fluffy pubic hair on the lower abdomen is neatly grown like water plants in a small river after a flood, which is also pleasing to the eye.Also, she only has 4 fingers on her left hand. After about 3 hours, she opened her eyes and woke up.After waking up, it took another 5 minutes to sort out things more or less.During this time, I folded my arms and stared intently at the thick clouds floating on the horizon, watching them change their postures and flow eastward. After a while, when I turned my head back, she had pulled the towel up to the neck, wrapped her body, and was looking up at me numbly while suppressing the lingering smell of whiskey in her stomach.

"Who... are you?" "Can not remember?" She just shook her head once. I lit the cigarette and took out one to persuade her, but she ignored it. "explain!" "Where do you start?" "From scratch!" I couldn't figure out where the head was, and I didn't know how to say it so she could understand it.It may go well, or it may fail halfway.I thought about it for 10 minutes, and said: "It was hot, but I had a good day. I swam in the pool all afternoon, went home, took a nap, and ate dinner. It was just after 8 o'clock. Then I went for a walk in the car. I took the car Parked on the seaside road, listening to the radio while looking at the sea. This is a common occurrence.

"After 30 minutes, I suddenly wanted to meet someone. I wanted to see people after watching the sea for a long time, and I wanted to see the sea after seeing people too much. It was so strange. So I decided to go to the jazz bar. Firstly, I wanted to drink beer, and secondly, I wanted to go to the jazz bar. You can usually see friends there. But those guys weren't there. So I poured myself three beers in an hour." Having said that, I stopped talking and knocked the ashes into the ashtray. "By the way, have you ever read The Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?" She didn't answer, and looked at the ceiling, wrapping the towel tightly like a mermaid being fished ashore. I just go on and on: "That is to say, whenever I drink alone, I think of that story, and I think that there will be a click in my head and it will suddenly become clear. Of course, this is not possible, and there has never been a sound. So I waited for a while. Distraught, I called that kid’s home, intending to pull him out to have a drink together. But it was a woman who answered the phone....I wondered, that kid wasn’t of this kind. Even if he was brought into the room This woman, no matter how drunk she is, she will answer her phone by herself. Do you understand? "I pretended to make a wrong call, apologized and put it down. After letting go, I felt a little unhappy, and I don't know why. I drank another bottle of beer, but I still didn't feel happy. Of course, I felt that I was a little stupid, but there was nothing I could do. After the beer, I called to Jay, paid the bill, and was ready to go home and listen to the sports news, and then go to bed after listening to the baseball game results. Jay told me to wash my face. He believed that even if I drank a case of beer, I just washed my face. Driving. I had no choice, so I went to the bathroom to wash my face. To be honest, I didn’t intend to wash my face. I just pretended. Because most of the bathrooms can’t drain water, there is a puddle of water, and I don’t bother to go in. Surprisingly, there was no water accumulation last night , and you fell on the floor." She sighed and closed her eyes. "Where's the next step?" "I lifted you up, helped you out of the bathroom, and asked all the customers in the room if they recognized you. But no one recognized you. Afterwards, Jie and I treated your wound." "Wound?" "When I fell, my head was hit by some corner. Fortunately, the injury is not serious." She nodded, took her hand out of the towel, and gently pressed the wound with her fingertips. "I'll discuss what to do with Jay. The conclusion is that I will take you home in the car. Put your handbag down, and there will be a wallet, keys and a postcard for you. I will use your wallet. The bill is paid, you are brought here according to the address on the postcard, the door is opened and you are put to bed. That is the case. The invoice is in the wallet." She took a deep breath. "Why stay?" "Why didn't you disappear immediately after sending me back?" "A friend of mine died of acute alcohol poisoning. After drinking whiskey violently, he said goodbye and walked home energetically. After brushing his teeth, he put on his pajamas and went to sleep. But in the morning, it was cold and dead. Dropped. The funeral was full and grand." "...Then you guarded me all night?" "I wanted to go back around 4 o'clock, but fell asleep. I wanted to go back in the morning, but I gave up again." "why?" "I thought I should at least explain to you what happened." "It's full of concern!" Her words were full of stings.I shrank my neck, ignored it, and then looked into the sky. "What did I... say?" "bits and pieces." "What is it?" "This and that, but I forgot. No big deal." She closed her eyes, and there was a muffled sound in her throat. "Where are the postcards?" "In the handbag." "See?" "Why?" "why?" "There's no need to watch it!" I replied uninterestedly. There was something in her tone that made me anxious.But apart from this point, she brought me some lingering mood and a ray of nostalgic warmth.I feel that if we had met under normal circumstances, we might have had a somewhat pleasant time. In reality, though, I can't remember what it's like to meet a girl under normal circumstances. "What time?" she asked. I breathed a sigh of relief, got up and glanced at the electronic alarm clock on the table, poured a glass of water and turned back. "9:00." She nodded weakly, straightened up, leaned against the wall and drank the water in one gulp. "Drink a lot?" "Enough. If I'm sure I'm dead." "It's not far from death." She picked up the cigarette next to her pillow, lit it, sighed and exhaled, and suddenly threw the matchstick through the open window towards the port. "Hand me to wear it." "how is it like?" She smoked a cigarette and closed her eyes again. "Anything, please, don't ask." I opened the suit cabinet opposite the bed, hesitated a bit, and picked out a blue sleeveless dress and handed it over.She didn't wear underwear either, she put the whole thing in over her head, zipped up the back by herself, and sighed again. "time to go." "where to?" "Go to work!" She said it impatiently, and stood up from the bed unsteadily.I was still sitting by the bed, watching her wash her face and comb her hair blankly. The room was neatly tidied up, but it was enough, and there was an atmosphere of helpless disappointment, which made me feel a little heavy. A room the size of six mats should be piled with cheap furniture, leaving only room for one person to lie down.She stood there combing her hair. "What job?" "Nothing to do with you." as it says. After a cigarette was burned out, I remained silent.With her back turned to me, she just kept squeezing the blue halo under her eye sockets with her fingertips facing the mirror. "What time?" she asked again. "It's past 10 o'clock." "There's no time, you should put on your clothes and go back to your own home!" He said, and began to spray mist of perfume on his underarms. "Of course you have a family?" I said "yes", put on my T-shirt, sat still on the edge of the bed, and looked out the window again. "To where?" "Near the port. What?" "I'll drive you so you won't be late." She held the hairbrush tightly in one hand, and looked at me with eyes that looked like she was about to cry. I think, if I can cry, my heart must be happy.But she didn't cry. "Hey, remember this: I did drink too much, I was drunk, so if anything unpleasant happens, it's my fault." After that, she slapped her palms with the handle of the hairbrush almost transactionally.I didn't make a sound, waiting for her to continue. "right?" "perhaps." "However, a guy who sleeps with an unconscious girl... is worth nothing!" "But I didn't do anything!" She paused, as if trying to calm her excitement. "Then why am I naked?" "You took it off yourself." "Do not believe." She casually threw the hairbrush on the bed and stuffed a few odds and ends into her handbag: wallet, lipstick, headache medicine, etc. "I said, can you prove that you really did nothing?" "Check it out yourself." "How to check?" She seemed genuinely angry. "I swear." "Do not believe." "Just believe it," I said, feeling very annoyed. Without further ado, she drove me out of the door and came out to lock the door herself. We walked silently along the path by the river until we reached the parking lot. While I was wiping the windshield with paper towels, she circled the car slowly and suspiciously, then peered closely at the bull's head outlined in large white paint strokes on the hood.The cow wears a large nose plug and laughs with a white rose in its mouth.Laugh very vulgarly. "Did you draw it?" "No, the original owner." "Why draw a cow?" "Oh--" She took two steps back, took another look at the cow head painting, and then stopped her mouth as if regretting that she was talking too much. It was very hot in the car.Before arriving at the port, she didn't say a word, she just wiped the rolling sweat with her hands, and just smoked -- lit it for two or three puffs, then inspected it like checking the lipstick on the filter tip, and then pressed it into the car body He took out the ashtray on his back and took out another one to light it. "Hey, what did I say last night?" She asked suddenly when she was about to get off the car. "A lot, a lot, um." "Just one sentence, just tell me." "Kennedy's words." "Kennedy?" "John F. Kennedy." She shook her head and sighed: "I can't remember anything." When she got out of the car, she silently stuffed a thousand-yuan bill into the back of the rearview mirror.