Chapter 17 Chapter 17 Test

Normally, the coming-of-age ceremony should be held in the month of the boy's 14th birthday.Not everyone gets the adult honor, the ceremony requires one "adult" to sponsor and nominate the boy, and 12 other "adults" to be found to acknowledge that the boy is eligible and ready.Having grown up among soldiers, I knew what the ceremony was, and I knew it was very grand and very special, so I never expected to get a chance to participate.First, no one knows my birthday, and second, I don't know who is an "adult", let alone where to find 12 "adults" to admit that I qualify.

However, some months after I survived Galen's trial, I woke up one night to find that the bed was surrounded by people in robes and hoods, and in the darkness under those hoods I caught a glimpse of the mask of "Dongliang". No one is allowed to speak or write the details of the ceremony.I think I can say that much.Whenever a life—including fish, birds, and beasts—is handed over to me, I choose to release it, not by death, but by releasing it back to its original free existence; therefore, in my No animals die at the mitzvah, so no one gets to feast.But even in my condition, I could feel the bleeding and death around me was enough to last to the end of my life, so I refused to kill with my hands or my teeth.My "adult" still chose to give me a name, so he shouldn't be very upset.That name is archaic, archaic has no letters, cannot be written, and I have never found anyone with whom I would share my adult name.But I think here I can reveal the ancient meaning of that name: Catalyst. "Changer".Immediately afterwards I went to the stables, first to the blacksmith and then to the soot, and the discomfort of thinking I would be leaving the next day stretched from the psychological to the physical.I stood in the soot stall with my head on the bump between his shoulder blades feeling dizzy and sick.Burrich saw me there.I recognized his presence, heard his approaching, louder boots along the stable walk, and then stopped suddenly outside Soot's stable.I felt him look into the stable and look at me.

"Well, what's the matter now?" he asked harshly, and I could hear in his voice how tired he was with me and my questions.If I hadn't been so depressed, my ego would have made me stand up straight and declare that nothing happened. But I just muttered to Soot's pelt, "Galen's going to test us tomorrow." "I know. He asked me out of the blue to prepare horses for his idiotic plan, if he hadn't got the king's wax seal Give him that authority, and I'd have turned him down long ago. And I don't know what he wants those horses for, so don't ask me." He added that last line rudely, as I suddenly looked up at him.

"I won't ask," I told him sullenly.Even if I have to prove my ability in front of Galen, I will compete fairly, or I will not do it at all. "He's designed you to have no chance of passing this test, have you?" Burrich's tone was casual, and I could hear the disappointment that came with him trying to accept my answer. "Not at all." I said flatly, and both of us were silent for a moment, listening to my words that had no room for change. "Hmm." He cleared his throat and pulled up the belt around his waist. "Then you finish it quickly and come back here. It's not like you haven't done well in other lessons. One can't try and succeed at everything." He tried to make my failure in the Skill seem insignificant.

"I suppose so! Will you take care of the blacksmith for me while I'm away?" "I will." He turned halfway around and back again, almost hesitantly. "How much will that dog miss you?" I could hear what he was really asking, but tried to avoid it. "I don't know. I've often left it during Skills, I'm afraid it won't miss me at all." "I doubt it," Burrich said thoughtfully, turning away. "I'm very skeptical." He said as he walked to the left and right rows of small rooms.I know he does, and he's disgusted, not just because the blacksmith and I have a strong connection, but because I refuse to admit it.

"As if I were free to admit it in front of him," I murmured to Soot.I said good-bye to my animals and tried to tell the blacksmith that it would be several meals and several nights before he would see me again.He wriggled and wagged his tail furiously, protesting that I must take him, that I must need him.It had grown too big to hold, so I sat down and it crawled into my lap and I hugged it.It was so warm and solid, so close and real, and for a moment I thought it was true, that I would need it to live through this failure.I remind myself that it will be here waiting for me to come back, and I promise it that I will spend several days playing with it when I come back, and I will take it to hunt far away, we have never done it before. Time to do it.Now, it's proposed, soon, I promise.Then I went back to the fort and packed some change of clothes and food for the trip.

In my opinion, the next morning's scene was full of exaggerated drama, but it didn't make much sense.The others who were about to take the test looked excited, and of the eight of us preparing to set off, I was the only one who seemed unimpressed by the disturbing horses and hooded sedan chairs.Galen lined us up in a row, blindfolded, with 60 to 70 people watching, most of them relatives and friends of the students or nosy people in the fort.Galen made a short speech, ostensibly to us, but of what we already knew: we will be taken and left in different places: we must cooperate with the Skill to find Return to the castle; if we succeed, we shall be a party that will serve the king with supreme utility, and will be an integral part of the defeat of the Red Ship raiders.The last paragraph left a deep impression on the onlookers. When I was taken to the sedan chair and helped in, I heard the voices of others in amazement.

Then I had a miserable day and a half.The sedan chair was swaying back and forth, and I couldn't breathe fresh air or watch the scenery distracted, and soon began to feel dizzy and nauseous.The man who led the horses swore to be silent, and he did.We paused briefly that night, and he gave me a meager supper, consisting of bread, cheese, and water, and then I was loaded into the sedan chair again, and continued to sway and sway. At about noon the next day, the sedan chair stopped, and I got off the sedan chair again with assistance.No one said a word, and I stood there, stiff, with a headache, blindfolded, in the wind.When I heard the sound of the horses leaving, I judged that I had reached my destination, so I reached out to remove the blindfold.Galen tied the cloth so tight it took me a while to untie it.

I was standing on a hillside meadow, and the man who had brought me had gone far, fast along a road that skirted the base of the hill.The grass was up to my knees, dry from the winter, but green near the roots.I saw other hills all around me, with rocks rising from the slopes, and patches of woodland at the foot.It's hilly here, but I can smell the sea and feel the tide is low somewhere to the east.I have a lingering feeling that this rural scenery is very familiar, not to say that I have been to the place where I am now, but the terrain in this area has an inexplicable sense of familiarity.I turned around and saw Sentinel Mountain to the west of me. It was impossible to recognize the two jagged protrusions on its peak. I copied a map for Federen less than a year ago. The person who drew the original map was The distinctive peak shape of Sentinel Mountain was chosen as the decorative theme for the edges.So, with the ocean over there and Sentinel Mountain over here, my stomach suddenly sank and I knew where I was.Not far from Smelting Town.

I found myself turning quickly in a circle, scanning the hillsides, woodlands, and roads around me.No sign of anyone.I searched out almost frantically, but found only birds and small animals and a buck, which looked up and sniffed, wondering what I was.I was relieved for a moment, but then remembered that the Forged beings I'd encountered before couldn't be detected with this sense. I walked down the hill to a place where several large rocks jutted out, and sat down in the shelter formed by the rocks.It's not to keep out the cold wind, because the weather feels like spring is coming: the point is that I need to lean against something stable, and not feel like such an obvious target like I was at the top of the slope.I try to calmly think about what to do next.Galen had previously advised us to remain quietly where we were lowered, to meditate, and to keep our senses open.Sometime in the next two days, he should try to contact me.

There is nothing more frustrating than anticipating your own failure.I don't believe that he will actually try to contact me, let alone that even if he tried, I would not be able to receive clear feelings.I also don't believe that the place he chose to drop me off was a safe place.Thinking of this, I stood up, looked around again to see if anyone was looking at me, and then walked towards the smell of the sea.If I was where I thought I should be, I should see Kagakushima, and if the weather was clear, possibly Rimon Island.Even seeing just one island is enough to tell me how far I am from Forge at the moment. I just wanted to see how far I got back to Buckkeep, I told myself as I walked.Only a fool would think that forged people could be dangerous, they must have all froze to death in the winter, or were too hungry and too weak to be a threat to anyone.I don't believe the stories about them looting and killing in groups, I'm not scared, I just want to see where I am.If Galen really wants to contact me, the location shouldn't be a problem, he has assured us countless times that what matters is the person he wants to contact, not the location.He can find me whether I am on the beach or on the hillside. In the late afternoon, I stood on the top of the rock face facing the sea.There is Kagaku Island, and the haze in the distance should be Lianbu Island.I was north of Forge, and it was unsettling to think that my way home along the coast would pass directly through the ruins of the town. what about now? In the evening, I had returned to the original slope, squeezed between two large rocks.I decided that waiting here was the same as waiting anywhere else.Despite my doubts, I'm going to stay where I've been dropped until the end of contact time.I ate bread and salted fish, and drank a little of the water I brought.In my change of clothes I had another cloak, which I wrapped around my body, determined to ward off any thought of starting a fire.No matter how small the fire is, if someone walks on the dirt road past this hill, the fire will be as clear as a beacon. Now I think there is nothing more tediously tedious than a constant tension.I tried to meditate, to open myself to receive Galen's Skill, while shivering and refusing to admit that I was afraid.The childish part of me kept imagining dark, ragged figures silently climbing up the hillsides around me, Forged Ones who would beat and kill me for the cloak I wore and the food in my bag.I clutched a branch I'd cut myself earlier on the way back down the hill, but the weapon didn't seem to be doing much good.Sometimes I still doze off in fear, but the dream is always that Garen gloated at my failure, and the Forged people approached and surrounded me, so I always woke up suddenly, looking around desperately, See if my nightmares come true. I watched the sun rise over the trees and dozed off and on throughout the morning.The afternoon was a weary and peaceful time to pass the time by exploring the wildlife on the slopes.Mice and songbirds were only bright sparks of hunger in my mind, and rabbits didn't think much, but there was a fox full of desire to find a mate, and farther away a buck was rubbing the new softness of its horns In part, purpose is as specific as a blacksmith at the anvil.The evening was very long.As night fell, I felt nothing, not even the slightest pressure from the Skill, which was surprisingly unacceptable to me.Either he didn't call me, or I didn't hear.I ate bread and salted fish in the dark, telling myself it didn't matter.For a while I tried to muster up my anger, but my despair was too dank and dark for the anger to get over it and burn.I think Galen must have lied to me, but I'll never be able to prove it, not even to myself, and I'll always just wonder if his contempt for me is really justified.Leaning against a rock in total darkness, with a twig and stick across my knees, I resolved to sleep. My dreams are chaotic and uncomfortable.Regal stood looking down at me, and I was the little boy sleeping in the straw again.He laughed and held up a knife, and Verity shrugged and smiled apologetically at me.Chade turned away from me in disappointment.Molly smiled at Tama over me, completely forgetting that I was there.Burrich grabbed the front of my shirt and shook me, telling me to behave like a human being, not a beast.But I lay down on straw and an old shirt, and gnawed on a bone, and the meat was delicious, and I couldn't think of anything else. I was sleeping comfortably until someone opened the stable door and left it ajar.A deadly cold wind blew across the stable floor towards me, and I grinned and looked up, smelling Burrich and ale.Burrich came slowly through the darkness, muttering "It's all right, blacksmith" as he passed me. I hung my head and he started up the stairs. Suddenly there was a cry, and someone struggled and fell down the stairs.I jumped up, growling and barking. Those two almost landed on me.A boot kicked at me and I bit the leg above the boot hard enough to bite more than flesh of the boot and trousers, but he hissed in anger and pain and attacked me.A knife went into my side. I clenched my teeth even tighter, growling and holding on.The other dogs were awake and barking, and the horses were stomping in the barn.Boy, boy, I call for help.I sensed that he was with me, but he didn't come.The intruder kicked me, but I refused to let go.Burrich lay on the straw, I smelled his blood, he didn't move.I growled and continued to bite the opponent, and heard the tigress banging on the door of the room upstairs, trying to run to the owner but in vain.The knife went into me again, three times, and I called out to my boy one last time, and I couldn't take it anymore.I was kicked off by that leg and hit the stall partition, blood pouring into my mouth and nostrils, I was drowning.Running footsteps.Pain in the dark.I staggered closer to Burrich and put my nose under his hand, and he didn't move.There are voices and lights gradually approaching, approaching, approaching... I woke up on a dark hillside, my hands gripping the stick so tight I lost consciousness.I didn't think it was a dream at all, I kept feeling the knife between my ribs and tasted the blood in my mouth.Like the refrain of a terrible song, this memory repeats itself over and over again, the cold wind, the knife, the boot, the taste of the enemy's blood in my mouth, and then my own blood smell.I struggled to make sense of what the blacksmith saw.Someone was waiting for Burrich upstairs, holding a knife.Then Burrich fell, and the blacksmith smelled blood... I stand up and pack my things.In my head, the warm little existence of the blacksmith is thin and weak.Very faint, but still there.I probed carefully, then stopped because I felt it was taking a lot of effort to respond to me.do not move.calm down.I will come.It was cold all around, my knees were shaking, but my back was covered with sweat.I have no doubts about what I should do.I strode down the hill toward the dirt road, a tradesman's lane, a peddler's path, and I knew that if I went down the road I was bound to come to the coast road.I'll go down, up that coast road, and I'll go home, and I'll help the blacksmith in time, if Ada wills.And Burrich. I strode forward, refusing to let myself run.Walking steadily gets me farther efficiently than running around in the dark.The night is clear and the path is straight.For a moment it occurred to me that by doing so I had ended any chance of proving my Skill use, and that all I had put into it, all the time, all the effort, all the pain, wasted.But I can't sit there and wait all day for Galen to try to contact me.If I'm going to open my mind to Galen's possible Skill touch, I have to get rid of the faint presence of the blacksmith in my mind.I won't do it.All things considered, the Skill is far less important than the Blacksmith.And Burrich. Why Burrich?I wonder.Who would hate him enough to sneak up on him?And ambushed outside his room.I began to assemble the facts as clearly as I was reporting to Chade.His assailant knew him well enough to know where he lived, so he couldn't have been an occasional offender in the Buckkeep tavern; the man had brought a knife, so he didn't just want to beat him up and teach him a lesson. one time.The knife was very sharp, and the man was very skilled with it.The memory made me flinch again. The above is the factual part, and I cautiously begin to build assumptions on the facts.Someone who knew Burrich's habits was so displeased with him that he wanted to kill him.My pace suddenly slowed down.Why didn't the blacksmith realize that the man was waiting upstairs?Why didn't the tigress in the house bark through the door earlier?The man must have been adept at tiptoeing in order to slip past the dog's range without being noticed by them. No, just my own obsession with blaming Galen.I refuse to jump to conclusions.Galen's physical strength was absolutely no match for Burrich, and he knew it well.Even if he waited in the dark with a knife and sneaked up on a half-drunk Burrich, there was no way he could do it.No, Galen might want to kill him, but he wouldn't do it, wouldn't do it himself. Will he send someone else to do it?I thought about it, but couldn't be sure.Think again.Burrich was not a patient man, and Galen was his latest enemy, but not the only one.I reassembled the facts again and again, trying to draw solid conclusions, but there were simply too few facts to draw conclusions from. I came to a small stream, drank a little water, and then walked on.The woods are getting denser, and the moon is covered by more than half of the trees on both sides of the road.I kept going until the path merged with the coast road, like a stream flowing into a river.I walked south along this road, and the moonlight illuminated the rather wide road in a silvery light. I walked and thought, and spent the night.The morning light gradually and quietly restored the color of the scene, and I felt exhausted, but I still kept going.My worries are a burden that cannot be lifted from my shoulders.I clung to the thin thread of warmth that told me the blacksmith was alive, and wondered what had become of Burrich.I have no way of knowing the extent of his injuries.The blacksmith smelled his blood, so he was stabbed at least once.What damage does falling down the stairs do?I try to put my worries aside.It never occurred to me that Burrich could be hurt like this, much less how I'd feel about it.I can't describe how I feel at this moment.Just hollow, I thought.Hollow and tired. I ate something as I walked, and filled my waterskin in a small stream.It was cloudy in the morning, and it rained a little, but it suddenly cleared up shortly after noon.I strode forward, thinking that there would be some people and cars on the coastal road, but I saw nothing.Walking to Xiang Xiao in the afternoon, the coastal road gradually changed its direction and approached the cliff, and looking forward across a small bay, I could already see the place that used to be Smelting Town.There was a chilling silence, no smoke rising from the huts, no boats coming into the harbour.I knew the path I was taking would go right through there, and it wasn't a pleasant thought, but the warm ray of life in the blacksmith pulled me on. Hearing the sound of footsteps scraping against the rocks, I raised my head, and thanks to the reflexes developed by the long-term training of Holder, it saved my life.I turned around with a stick in my hand, and swung a defensive circle around me, breaking the jaw of the man behind me, and the others backed away.There are 4 of them in total, all of them have been smelted, and they are as empty as a stone.The man I hit rolled on the ground screaming, and no one paid attention to him except me.I quickly hit him on the back again, and he screamed louder, struggling desperately.Even in that situation, I surprised myself with my actions.I know it's wise to make sure a wounded enemy can't move any further, but I know there's no way I'd kick a howling dog the way I did the man.But fighting these Forged men was like fighting ghosts, and I felt no presence of any of them, no pain I inflicted on the wounded man, no echoes of his anger or fear.As if I were slamming a door, the violence was completely devoid of victims, and I hit him again to make sure he didn't snap at me, then jumped over him into an open space in the pavement. I swung my stick so no one else could get close.They looked ragged and hungry, but I still felt they could catch me if I ran away.I was already tired, and they were like hungry wolves, chasing me until I fell down.One was too close, and I hit him on the wrist with a stick, and the rusty fish knife in his hand fell to the ground. He screamed and held his injured hand to his chest, but the other two ignored him completely.I jump back. "What do you want?" I demanded them. "What do you have?" one of them said.His voice was hoarse and hesitant, as if he hadn't used it for a long time, and there was no setback in his pitch.He stayed far away, and walked slowly around me, making me keep turning.Like the dead talking, I thought.This idea kept echoing in my mind. "Nothing." Panting, I poked the stick forward to prevent another person from getting closer. "I have nothing to give you. No money, no food, nothing. I dropped all my stuff on the way here." "Nothing," said another, and that was the first time I realized she was a Women, used to be.Now she was just a malicious hollow puppet, with a sudden greedy light in her pale eyes, and she said, "The cloak. I want your cloak." She seemed quite content with herself thinking this, and was caught off guard by my shin.She glanced down at the wound on her leg, as if puzzled, and continued limping after me. "Cloak," echoed another.For a moment they glared at each other, dulled by the realization that they were rivals. "Me, mine," he said again. "No. Kill you." She said calmly. "I'll kill you too." She reminded me, approaching again.I swung the stick at her, but she jumped back and reached out to catch the stick I swung past.I turned around just in time to hit the man with the broken wrist, and then jumped over him and ran down the road.I ran awkwardly, clutching my stick with one hand while trying to undo my cloak with the other.At last the cloak came loose, and I let it fall to the ground, and continued to run.My limp legs warn me that this is my last resort.In a few minutes they had evidently reached the place where the cloak was, for I heard the angry howls and screams of their quarreling.I'm praying it's enough to keep all 4 of them busy while they keep going.The road bends, not very sharply, but enough to get me out of their sight.I still continued to run, and then turned into a brisk walk, trying my best to walk forward for a while before I dared to look back.The road behind me is wide and empty.I forced myself to keep going, wait until I saw something that seemed to fit and get off the road. I came across a bush of wild, sharp thorns, and barely made my way to its heart.Shaking and exhausted, I crouched down under the thick thorny bushes and stretched out my ears to hear if anyone was chasing me.I drank a few sips of water, trying to calm myself down.I have no time to waste. I must go back to Buckkeep, but I dare not come out.I still can't figure out how I could have fallen asleep there, but I did.I woke up gradually, groggy, and felt that I must be seriously injured or ill.My eyes are sticky and my mouth feels sore and numb.I forced myself to open my eyelids and looked around in bewilderment.The sky was getting dark, and dark clouds covered the moon. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep leaning against the thornbush, despite the countless thorns that pricked me.I had a hard time getting out, my clothes and skin were scratched, and many hairs were torn out.I emerged from hiding like a hunted animal, not only exploring as far as I could with the power of my senses, but also sniffing the air and glancing around.I know that it is impossible for me to find the smelted people by searching. I just hope that if there are smelted people nearby, the animals in the forest will react when they see them.But all is quiet. I cautiously returned to the road, which was wide and empty.I looked up at the sky, and then headed towards Smelting Town, trying to keep to the side of the road, where the tree shadows were the thickest.I tried to make the footsteps both quick and silent, but neither did very well.I couldn't think of anything but being on guard, thinking that I had to go back to Buckkeep.The life of a blacksmith is but a thin thread in my head.Thinking about it now, the emotion in my heart at that time was only fear. It was fear that made me keep looking back and scanning the woods on both sides while walking. By the time I reached the hill overlooking Forge, it was completely dark.I stood there for a while looking down, looking for any signs of life, then forced myself to keep going.The wind picked up, and the moon showed intermittently in the clouds.This kind of light is better than nothing, because it makes you see as much as you are wrong, makes the corners of abandoned houses look like shadows move, and makes puddles of water on the street suddenly flash like blades. cold light.But Smelting Town was deserted, there were no ships in the port, no smoke from the chimneys.Shortly after the inescapable robbery here, the normal residents abandoned their homes and left, and now the people who have been tempered obviously left, because there is no longer anything that can provide food and clothing.The town was plundered and never rebuilt. After a long and stormy winter, everything that was half destroyed by the Red Ship robbers is now almost completely destroyed. Only the port seems to be normal, except for the places where the ships are moored. outside.The curved seawall still juts out into the bay, like a pair of hands bent to hold and protect the port, but there is nothing left to protect. I walk through the desolate wreckage of Forge.I slipped through the half-burnt house, with the crumbling door still hanging from the broken door frame, hairy all over.When I left the musty smell of the empty house and stood on the pier looking out at the water, I breathed a sigh of relief.The road leads directly to the pier, and then follows the curved bay.The shoulders had a low wall of rough-hewn stone that would have protected the road from the ravenous sea, but it was crumbling after a winter of tides and storms without repair.The rocks gradually loosened, and the driftwood from the sea acted like a goalpost, now discarded by the tide and scattered on the sand below.Carloads of prayer irons used to be delivered along this road to waiting ships.I walked along the sea wall and found that the stone wall, which had seemed so strong and durable from the hills above, would not be repaired for another winter or two before being re-occupied by the sea. Overhead, stars flickered among the passing clouds, and the elusive moon flickered, giving me occasional glimpses of the port.The tide swished, like the breathing of a drugged giant.This night was like a dream. I looked towards the sea and saw the ghost of a red ship sailing into the port of Smelting Town through the moonlight.The ship was long and smooth, with all the sails furled on the mast, and slowly gliding into the harbor, the bright red of the hull and bow was like fresh blood, as if it was coming through a sea of ​​​​blood instead of water.In the dead town behind me, there was no siren call. I stood transfixed, trembling at the phantom on the seawall, until the creaking of the oars and the silver dripping from the oars made the red ship real. I lay down on the causeway and half-slid and half-scrambled along the smooth surface into the piles of rocks and driftwood that lined the sea wall.I was so scared that I couldn't breathe, all the blood was pouring into my head, my pulse was booming, and there was no air in my lungs.I buried my head between my arms, closed my eyes, and tried to get myself under control.At this time, I could already hear a faint but definite sound coming from the surface of the water. No matter how quiet a ship is, it is impossible to avoid a little sound.The sound of a man clearing his throat, the click of an oar in its buckle, the muffled thud of something heavy on the deck.I waited for a shout or an order to show that I had been spotted, but no, nothing.Cautiously, I lifted my head and looked through a gap between the whitish roots of a piece of driftwood.All was still except that the ship was coming nearer and the oarsmen gradually brought it into the harbor, and then all the oars were raised in unison, almost in complete silence. After a while I could hear voices, their language was similar to ours, but the intonation was so rough and harsh that I could barely make out the meaning of the words.Someone jumped out of the side of the boat, pulling a rope, and struggled ashore to tie the boat, just two boats' length from where I was crouched among the rocks and logs.Two others jumped out of the boat with knives in hand, hurried up the seawall, ran some distance along the road in the opposite direction, and took up position as sentinels, one of them standing almost directly above me.I shrunk myself down and stood still, holding on to the blacksmith in my mind like a child clutching a beloved toy against a nightmare.I have to go home, back to it, so I can't be found.I knew I had to do the former, so the latter seemed a little more likely. Everyone hurriedly got off the boat and moved forward, their movements were obviously familiar.I had no idea why they were anchored here until I saw them unloading empty fresh water buckets from the boat.Empty buckets rolled along the causeway one by one, and I remembered the well I passed on the road.The part of my head that belonged to Chade noticed that they were very familiar with Forge, because the place where the boat was anchored was almost by the well.This is not the first time the ship has stopped here to replenish fresh water. "Poison the well before you leave," he suggested.But I didn't have anything to poison and I didn't have the guts to do anything but keep hiding. Others got off the boat to stretch their legs, and I heard a man and a woman arguing.The man wanted permission to pick up some driftwood to build a fire for the barbecue, but the woman wouldn't let him, saying they weren't far enough away and the fire was too easy to see.It can be seen that they have just robbed recently, so they will have fresh meat to roast, and the robbed is not far from here.She gave permission for another thing, but I didn't quite understand it until I saw them unload two full buckets.A man came ashore with a whole ham on his shoulders, and slapped it on one of the upright barrels, and took out his knife and began to chop off chunks, while another man knocked the other barrel open.They don't plan on leaving anytime soon.If they did light a fire or stay till daylight, I couldn't hide in the shadow of the wood at all.I have to get out of here. I crawled on my belly against the sand and gravel, through swarms of sand fleas and wet mounds of seaweed, between and under logs and rocks, cursing every plant that hooked me , and every loose stone blocks my way.The tide was high, and the waves of the sea were clattering against the rocks, and the splash of water was blown by the wind, which soon made me drenched all over.I try to time my movements with the lapping of the waves so that they don't hear the small sounds I make.The rocks were covered with sharp barnacles, and the poke wounds on my hands and knees were full of sand.My stick becomes cumbersome, but I will never abandon my only weapon.Until I could no longer see or hear the robbers, I still didn't dare to stand up, and continued to crawl along the rocks and logs, shrinking back and forth.At last I ventured up to the road, crawled across the pavement, and finally came to the shadow of a warehouse, stood against the wall and looked around. There was silence.I dared to take two steps and stood on the road, but I still couldn't see the boat or the sentinel.Maybe it means they can't see me either.I took a breath to calm myself, and poked around at the blacksmith like someone pats a purse to make sure the money is still there.I found it, but it was faint and quiet, and the mind was like a still pool.I'll be right there.我低声说，深怕让它勉强使力回覆我。然后我又开始前进。 风势无情，被海水浸湿的衣服紧贴着、磨擦着我身体。我又饿、又冷、又累，脚上的湿鞋子让我难受不已，但我完全没想到要停下来。我像只狼小跑前进，眼神不断游移，竖直耳朵听背后有无任何动静。前一刻我面前的路还是空荡漆黑，后一刻黑暗就变成了人。前面有两个人，我陡然转身，后面还有一个。浪潮拍打的声音掩盖了他们的脚步声，时隐时现的月亮只让我偶尔瞥见逐渐接近包围我的他们。我背靠着仓库的坚实墙壁，举起棒子，等待。 我看着他们偷偷摸摸地悄悄潜近，这令我觉得奇怪，他们为什么不大喊出声，为什么不叫全部的人都来看我被逮？但这些人看向我的次数跟看向彼此的次数一样频繁。他们不是同一伙的，每个人都希望别人动手杀我而被我杀死，留下战利品让自己捡现成的。他们是被冶炼的人，不是劫匪。 我心中涌起一阵可怕的寒意。我想，任何细微的声响都一定会引来红船劫匪，所以就算我没死在这些被冶炼的人手下，劫匪也会结束我的性命。但既然条条大路均是死，就没有必要急着往前跑了，，情会怎么样就怎么样吧！他们一共3个人，其中一人有一把刀，但我有一根棍子，而且受过训练。他们瘦削、褴褛，而且至少跟我一样饿、一样冷。我想其中一个是前一天晚上的那个女人。他们如此安静地朝我包围过来，我猜他们也知道劫匪在这里，也跟我一样怕他们。即使这样他们还是要攻击我，那么他们必然是狗急跳墙了，想到这点令人不安。但紧接着我又想，被冶炼的人会有狗急跳墙或者任何其他的感觉吗？也许他们是太迟钝了，不明白这样做的危险。切德教给我的那一切诡秘隐晦的知识，浩得那一切对付两个以上敌人的残酷又优雅的战术，全都随风而去，因为当前两个人踏进我的攻击范围时，我感觉到我掌握中的铁匠的微小暖意逐渐消退。铁匠！我低语，焦急绝望地求它想办法撑下去。我几乎是亲眼看到它尾巴尖端微微一动，最后一次试图摇尾巴，然后那条线断了，微小的火星熄灭了，只剩下我孤单一人。 一股黑暗潮水般的力量在我体内疯狂涌起，我一步跨出，把棍端深深捣进一人的脸，迅速抽回棍子，然后一挥击中那女人的下巴。我挥击的力道之大，光秃秃的木棍把她脸的下半段就这么扫掉了，她倒下之际我又一记痛击，仿佛棒打一条陷入渔网的鲨鱼。第3个人直直朝我冲来，我想他是要贴近到我不好使棍的近距离。I do not care.我把棍子一丢，跟他扭打起来。他瘦骨嶙峋，全身发臭，我把他推倒在地，他呼在我脸上的气有着腐肉的恶臭，我对他又抓又咬，跟他一样毫无人性。是他们害我来不及赶回垂死的铁匠身旁。我不在乎我对他做了什么，只要能伤害他就好。他也是这样。我把他的脸在石子地上一拖，把大拇指戳进他眼睛，他咬住我的手腕，把我的脸颊抓得出血。最后他终于被我勒得不再反抗，我把他拖到海堤边推下去，落在下方的岩石上。 我站在那里喘气，双手仍紧握着拳。我朝红船劫匪的方向怒目而视，心想有种你们就来呀！但夜色沉寂，只有潮声、风声，还有那女人临死之际喉头发出的微弱咕噜声。红船劫匪要不是没听到我们，就是不希望泄漏自己的踪迹，因此不多察看夜色中的动静。我在风中等着哪个人耐烦来动手杀我，但毫无动静。一波空荡感冲刷过我内心，取代了先前的狂暴。一个晚上死了这么多人，却这么没有意义，除了对我之外。 我把另两具残破的尸体留在半场的海堤上，让浪涛和海鸥去解决，转身走开。我杀他们时感觉不到他们有任何情绪，没有畏惧，没有愤怒，没有痛苦，连绝望都没有。他们只是东西。我走上返回公鹿堡的漫长路途，终于也感觉不到自己有任何情绪。我想，也许冶炼是一种传染病，我已经得病了。但我根本不在乎。 现在回想起来，那段路途没有任何特别清晰的记忆。我一路走个不停，又冷又累又饿。我没有再遇到被冶炼的人，路上看到的寥寥几个行人也不比我更想跟陌生人交谈。我一心只想着要回到公鹿堡，还有回到博瑞屈身旁。我在春季庆的庆祝活动进行到第一天的时候抵达公鹿堡，门口的守卫一开始想拦住我，我注视他们。 “是斐兹！”其中一人惊讶得倒抽一口气。“人家说你死了。”“闭嘴！”另一个人凶道。这是我认识多年的该击，他很快地说，“博瑞屈受伤了，小子，他在医务室。”我点头，走过他们身旁。 我在公鹿堡住了这么多年，从来没去过医务室，我小时候生病、受伤，全都是博瑞屈一手负责治疗。但我知道它在哪里。我视而不见地穿过一群群聚集作乐的人，突然觉得我又回到了6岁的时候，第一次来到公鹿堡。当时我紧抓着博瑞屈的皮带不放，一路从遥远的月眼城来，他受伤的腿包着绷带；但他从来没有把我放到另一匹马背上，或者交给另一个人照顾。我穿过人群，经过那些铃档和花朵和甜蛋糕，走进城堡内层。士兵营房后面有单独一座岩石建筑，用石灰水刷成白色。那里没有人，我直接穿堂入室，经过前厅进入后面的房间。 地板上铺着干净的芳香药草，又大又宽的窗户涌进了春天的空气和阳光，但这房间还是给我一种封闭和疾病的感觉。博瑞屈不该待在这个地方。只有一张床上有人。在春季庆期间，士兵除非真的爬不起来，否则是不会留在病床上的。博瑞屈闭着眼睛躺在一张窄窄的帆布床上，沐浴在阳光中。我从没见过他这样一动也不动。他把盖在身上的毛毯推开了，他的胸口包扎着绷带。我静静走上前去，坐在他床旁的地板上。他一动也不动，但我感觉得到他，他胸口的绷带也随着缓慢的呼吸起伏。我握住他的手。 “斐兹。”他说，没有张开眼睛，紧紧握住我的手。 “是的。”“你回来了。你还活着。”“是的。我直接赶回来这里，尽我一切力量赶路。哦，博瑞屈，我真怕你已经死了。”“我以为你已经死了。其他人好几天前就回来了。”他艰难地吸了口气。“当然，那杂种留了马匹给其他每一个人。”“不对，”我提醒他，仍然没放开他的手。“我才是杂种，记得吗？”“抱歉。”他睁开眼睛，左眼的眼白被血染红。他试着对我微笑，这时我看出他左脸的肿胀还没全消。“唔，我们两个看起来可真是一对宝。你脸颊上应该敷药，伤口已经化脓了，看起来像是动物抓的。”“是被冶炼的人。”我开口，不忍多作解释，只轻声说，“他把我放在冶炼镇北边的地方，博瑞屈。” 他脸上一阵愤怒的痉挛。“他不肯告诉我，谁都不肯告诉。我甚至派人去找惟真，请王子殿下要他说出他对你做了什么，结果没有回音。我应该杀了他。”“没关系，算了。”我说，而且是真心的。“我回来了，还活着。我失败了，没通过他的测验，但也没因此而死。你也告诉过我，我生命中还有其他的东西。” 博瑞屈在床上动了动，我看得出来他并没有因此宽心。“唔，这一点他会很失望。”他打着颤呼出一口气。“我被偷袭了，有人拿刀捅我。我不知道是谁。”“伤得多重？”“相当重，以我的年纪来说。像你这样的年轻公鹿大概一下子就可以恢复活蹦乱跳了。不过他只捅了我一刀，但是我摔下去撞到了头，昏迷了两天。还有，斐兹，你的狗。这件事太蠢、太没道理了，但他杀了你的狗。”“我知道。”“它死得很快。”“它死得很快。”博瑞屈说，彷佛是想藉此安慰我。 这谎言让我僵起身子。“是死得很勇敢。”我纠正他。“如果它没死，你恐怕会被捅不只一刀。” 博瑞屈一动也不动。“你在场，对不对。”最后他终于说。这不是问句，他的意思也非常清楚。 “对。”我听见自己简单地说。 “那天晚上你跟狗一起在这里，没有试着接收精技？”他愤慨地提高了声音。 “博瑞屈，事情不是这……” 他一把抽回手，转过身去，挪得离我尽可能的远。“你走。”“博瑞屈，不是因为铁匠的关系，我只是没有精技的天分。所以就让我我保持我有的东西吧！让我做我本来就是的那种人。我没有用这种能力做坏事，而且就算不用它，我对动物也很有一套。在你手下我不得不学会对动物有一套。如果我用了它，我可以——”“你离我的马厩远一点，也离我远一点。”他转过身来面对我，我惊愕地看见一滴泪滑过他黝黑的脸颊。“你说你失败了？不，斐兹，失败的是我。我从一开始看到这迹象的时候就太心软了，没有把你打得完全断念。”把他好好带大。“骏骑对我说。这是他对我下的最后一道命令，我却失败了，辜负了他，也辜负了你。你没有乱搞原智，斐兹，你就可以学会精技了，盖伦就可以把你教会了。难怪他把你送到冶炼镇去。”他顿了顿。“不管是不是私生子，你本来都可能成为不辱骏骑的好儿子，但你却把这一切都抛开了，为了什么？为了一只狗。我知道人跟狗的感情可以深厚到什么地步，但人不可以只为了一只狗把人生全都一一”“它不只是一只狗，”我打断他的话，语气几乎是严厉的。“它是铁匠，是我的朋友。而且也不只是因为它。我决定放弃，不再待在那里等，回来找你，是因为我想你可能会需要我。铁匠好几天前就死了，这点我知道，但我回来找你，心想你可能会需要我。” 他沉默了好久，我以为他不肯再对我开口了。“你不需要这么做。”他静静地说。“我会照顾自己。”然后语气变得比较严厉：“你知道这一点。我向来都能照顾自己。”“还有我。”我向他承认。“你也一直都照顾我。”“结果这对我们两个都没什么好处。”他缓缓地说。“看看我让你变成了什么样子。现在你只是个……你走吧！你走就是了。”他再度转身背对我，我感觉到他整个人失去了什么。 我慢慢站起来。“我会用贺莲娜叶做成药水给你冲眼睛，下午拿过来。”“你什么都不要拿给我，什么忙都不要帮我。你走你自己的路吧！要变成什么样的人随你便，我跟你已经没有关系了。”他朝着墙说，声音里对他对我都没有慈悲。 我离开医务室前回头一瞥，博瑞屈没有动，但就连他的背影看来都显得变老、缩小了。 我就是这样回到公鹿堡的，回来的时候跟离开时那个天真的男孩己经不是同一个人了。不像原本人们所以为的那样，我并没有死，但关于这一点也没有什么大张旗鼓的表示。我不给任何人机会这么做。从博瑞屈的病床边离开之后，我立刻直接回房，梳洗换衣服，睡了一觉，但睡得不好。春季庆剩下的期间，我都是夜里吃饭，独自在厨房里吃。我写了张条子给黠谋国王，提出红船劫匪可能常常使用冶炼镇的井，他没有对此事做出任何回应，我觉得正好。我一点也不想跟任何人接触。 在华丽夸张的典礼上，盖伦把他打造完工的小组呈给国王。除了我之外，还有一个人没能回来，现在我很羞愧地发现自己不记得他叫什么名字，而且就算我曾经知道他后来发生了什么事，如今也早已忘记了。我想，当时我大概就跟盖伦一样，认为他是个无足轻重、无须注意的人。 那年夏天盖伦只跟我讲过一次话，而且不是直接对我说。春季庆之后不久，我们在庭院中错身而过，他正边走边跟帝尊交谈。他们经过我身旁时，他越过帝尊的头看向我，带着轻蔑的冷笑说，“活得跟只猫一样。” 我停下脚步瞪着他们看，直到他们不得不看向我。我迫使盖伦迎视我的眼神，然后我点头微笑。我从未当面质问盖伦企图害死我。从那次之后他就对我视而不见，他的视线会从我身旁滑过，如果我走进他正好也在的房间，他会立刻离开。 失去铁匠，我感觉自己失去了一切。又或许是我在苦涩的怨恨中自己动手毁了我仅剩的丁点东西。有好几个星期的时间我阴忧地在堡里晃来晃去，要是有谁傻到肯开口跟我说话，我就会讲些伶牙俐齿的话侮辱他。弄臣避开我，切德没有找我。我见过耐辛三次。前两次我应她召唤而去的时候，仅花了最少的心力保持基本礼貌；第三次她聊着玫瑰切枝的话题令我觉得无聊，于是我干脆起身离开。 之后她再也没找过我。 但终有一天，我感觉我必须向某个人伸出手去。铁匠在我的生命中留下了一处很大的空洞，而且我没想到我被马厩放逐是件这么痛苦的事。我偶尔碰见博瑞屈时，那场面尴尬得不得了，我们两人都痛苦地学会了假装没看对方。 我好想去找莫莉，想得心都痛了，想告诉她发生在我身上的每一件事，打从我第一次来到公鹿堡之后发生的每一件事。我巨细靡遗地想像着我们坐在沙滩上，我说着话，然后等我讲完了，她不会批判我或试着给我劝告，只是握住我的手留在我身边。如此一来终于有个人能知道一切，我再也不必对她隐瞒任何事，而且她不会转身离去。除此之外，我不敢想像更多。我怀抱着绝望的渴望，我的那种恐惧只有喜欢上比他大两岁的对象的男孩才能体会。如果我告诉她我的一切哀愁，她会不会把我当成个苦命的孩子来怜悯？她会不会恨我以前那么多事都没告诉过她？这念头十几次让我不敢走进公鹿堡城里去。 但大约两个月之后，我终于壮起胆子走进城，不听使唤的双脚又把我带到了蜡烛店。当时我刚好拎着个篮子，篮子里有一瓶樱桃酒，还有4、5朵小小的黄色野蔷薇，是我刮伤了好大一块皮肤从女人花园里摘来的，连园里那片百里香都敌不过它们的香气。我告诉自己说我没有计划，我不需要把自己的每一件事都告诉她，我甚至不需要见到她，我可以边走边决定。但到头来，所有的决定都早就已经做好了，而且跟我一点关系也没有。 我到的时候正好看见莫莉挽着阿玉走出来，他们的头凑得好近，她倚着他的手臂，两人轻声交谈。在蜡烛店的门外，他弯身注视她的脸，她抬头与他四目相对。当那男人迟疑地抬起手轻抚她的脸颊，莫莉突然间变成了女人，一个我不认识的女人，我们之间那两岁的差距是一道好宽好深的鸿沟，我根本没有希望跨越。我躲在转角没让她看见我，低着头，他们走过我身旁，彷佛我是一棵树或一块石头。她的头靠在他肩上，他们走得好慢，似乎走了一辈子才离开我的视线范围。 那一夜我喝得前所未有的烂醉，第二天醒来的时候，躺在通往城堡路上一处灌木丛里。