Chapter 3 Chapter III Covenant

The original origins of the Skill may forever remain a mystery, but it is certain that members of the royal family have a particularly strong talent for the Skill, but this talent is not limited to the royal family.There seems to be some truth in the saying: "When the blood of the sea flows with the blood of the plain, the Skill will blossom and bear fruit." Interestingly, the Out Islanders do not seem to be particularly gifted for the Skill, and their ancestors were pure The same is true for those who are natives of the six principalities and who have not mixed with the Outer Islands.

Is it the nature of the world that everything seeks a rhythm, and finds a peace in that rhythm?I do think so all the time.All events, no matter how earth-shattering or bizarre, are soon watered down by the routine of everyday life that must go on.People who walk on the battlefield and search for the wounded among the corpses will still stop to cough and blow their noses, and they will still raise their heads to watch the geese flying in a herringbone formation.I have seen farmers plowing fields and planting seeds while armies clashed just one kilometer away. The same is true of me.Looking back now, I am amazed at myself.I was separated from my mother, and I was taken to a strange city and a strange area for no reason. My father didn’t want me, so he left me to his subordinates to take care of me, and then the puppy that accompanied me was taken away, but when I woke up Come on, after all, you have to continue to live the life of a little boy.The so-called life of a little boy, to me, consisted of getting up when Burrich called me, going with him to the kitchen, eating by his side, and following him ever so closely.He rarely let me out of his sight.I walked by his feet, watched him do various tasks, and then helped with small things.I ate with him on the bench at night, his piercing eyes watching me to see if I was following table manners.Then I went upstairs to his room, and either I watched the fire in silence while he drank, or I watched the fire in silence until he came back.He would drink while he worked, such as mending or making harness, concocting ointments, or brewing a laxative for horses.He did his job, and I learned by watching him, but as far as I can remember, the two of us barely talked.I spent almost three years like this, and it is very strange to think about it.

Sometimes Burrich would be called on to help with the hunt or deliver the mare's birth, so I gradually learned to be like Molly and find bits and pieces of time to do what I wanted to do.Occasionally he drank too much, and I would dare to sneak out, but it was very dangerous to sneak out like this.As soon as I'm free, I'll go find my little playmates in the city, and run around with them till I can't stay any longer.I missed Big Nose so badly it felt like Burrich had chopped off my arm or my leg, but neither of us mentioned it. Looking back now, I think he was as lonely as I was.The self-exiled Horseman won't let Burrich go with him, so he stays behind to care for an illegitimate child with a gift he considers a pervert; after his leg injury is finally healed, he discovers that He could no longer ride, hunt, or even walk as nimbly as before.It must have been hard on a man like Burrich.As far as I know, he never complained to anyone, but then again, I can't imagine who he could have complained to.The two of us were locked in loneliness, looking at each other every night, seeing in each other the culprit of our loneliness.

But all things pass, especially time, and over the next few months and years, I slowly took a place in the order of things.I was responsible for carrying Burrich's things and giving them to him before he even thought of asking me to; Drinking water, and helping hounds get rid of ticks when they come back from hunting.People got used to my presence and stopped staring at me, and some seemed to ignore me completely.Burrich was gradually less strict with me, and I was more free to come and go, but I was careful not to let him find out that I had gone to stay in the city. There were other kids in the castle, a lot of my age, and some were even related to me, like cousins ​​or something, but I never developed a real emotional bond with any of them.The younger children are looked after by their mothers or nannies, while the older children have their own affairs to attend to.Most of them didn't treat me badly, I just didn't belong to their circle at all.So even though I might not see Dirk or Kerry or Molly for months at a time, they are still my closest friends.I explored the castle by myself, and the winter nights when everyone gathered in the great hall to listen to the minstrel, watch a puppet show, or play a parlor game helped me quickly know where I was welcome and where not. welcome me.

I avoided the Queen as much as I could, because she was sure to find fault with me and scold Burrich whenever she saw me.Regal is also a dangerous man.He's basically grown into a man, but he's not at all ashamed of pushing me away, or stepping on whatever I'm playing with.His narrow-mindedness and hatred are qualities I have never seen in Verity.Not that Verity ever spent any particular time with me, but our occasional encounters were never unpleasant, and if he noticed me he would rub my hair or give me a penny.Once a servant came to Burrich's room with little wooden toys, soldiers, horses, and a carriage, all with chipped paint, which he said Verity had found in the corner of his trunk. These toys, thought I might like them.Looking back now, those toys are still the most cherished of anything I've ever owned.

Cobb in the stables is another danger zone.If Burrich was there, he talked to me and treated me well, but if Burrich wasn't there, he didn't treat me well.He made it very clear that he didn't want me to be in the way where he was working.I finally figured out that he was jealous of me, that Burrich wasn't as interested in him as he used to be because he had to take care of me.He never did anything overtly nasty, never hit me or abused me casually, but I could tell he hated me so I avoided him as much as possible. The soldiers and guards at the keep tolerated me second only to the kids at Buckkeep, and they were probably the closest people I could call friends.But no matter how patient these men were with a 9- or 10-year-old boy, I really had little in common with them.I watched them roll dice and listened to their stories, but I still spent far more time not seeing them at all than hanging out with them.And, though Burrich never forbade me from going to the guardhouse, he made it clear that he disapproved of my going there.

Therefore, I am neither a member of the castle nor a member of it.Some I avoided, some I observed, some I obeyed, but none with whom I felt an emotional connection. Then, one morning when I was about to turn 10, I was playing under a table in the hall, wrestling with several puppies.It was still very early in the morning, and there had been some kind of celebration the day before, and the banquet had lasted all day and most of the night, and Burrich was so drunk that he passed out.Neither the nobles nor the servants were up at this time, and there was nothing in the kitchen to feed me, but the tables in the hall were full of broken pastries and plates of meat, and baskets of apples, Big chunks of cheese; in short, full of food that little boys would be happy to forage.The big dogs had already taken the best bones, and each retreated to his corner in the hall, leaving a bunch of puppies scrambling for smaller pieces of food.I took a rather large patty and shared it with my favorite puppies under the table.Ever since Big Nose died, I've been careful not to let Burrich see me getting particularly attached to any of the pups; I still didn't understand why he wouldn't allow me to bond with hounds, but I wouldn't take dogs to fight with him.I was taking turns eating meatloaf with the three puppies when I heard footsteps slowly approaching on the reed-covered floor, and two men discussing things in a low voice.

Thinking it was the kitchen servants cleaning up, I crawled out from under the table to grab a few more goodies before they left. But it was not the servant who was startled by my sudden appearance, but the old king himself, my grandfather.Following closely beside him was Emperor Zun, his eyes were dull and his vest was wrinkled, obviously he also participated in drinking and having fun last night.The King's Fool, whom the King had recently brought in, trotted after them, with pale protruding eyes in an eggshell face; Hardly dared to look at him.In stark contrast to them was King Shrewd, bright-eyed, freshly combed beard and hair, and immaculately dressed.For a moment he seemed surprised, and then said, "You see, Regal, that's what I just told you. The opportunity arose and someone took it—and that person was usually a young man, or someone who was inspired by a young man. A man of energy and hunger. The royal family cannot ignore these opportunities, or allow them to be created by others."

The king continued to stroll past me, harangue on his subject, and Regal gave me a menacing glance with bloodshot eyes.He waved his hand, meaning that I should disappear quickly, and I quickly nodded my head to express my understanding. I rushed to the table and stuffed two apples into my clothes. When I was picking up a gooseberry tower that was almost intact, the king Suddenly turning around and pointing at me, the Fool imitated his movement, and I froze in place. "Look at him," ordered the old king. Regal glared at me viciously, but I dared not move. "What will you turn him into?"

Emperor Zun looked puzzled. "Him? He's Fitz! Junqi's bastard, all he knows is sneaking around and stealing sheep all day long." "Fool!" King Shrewd smiled, but his eyes were still hard.Thinking the king was calling him, he smiled cutely. "Are your ears stuffed with earwax? Didn't you hear a word I said? I wasn't asking 'what do you think he is', I was asking 'what would you turn him into' '.He stands here, young, strong, intelligent, and although he was born in the wrong bed, he has as much royal blood as you. So what will you turn him into? A tool? A weapon? A comrade? Enemy? Or will you just leave him alone and wait for others to use him against you?"

Regal squinted at me, then glanced over at me, saw no one else in the hall, and turned his bemused eyes back to me.A pup whimpered at my feet, reminding me that we were halfway through eating, and I warned him to be quiet. "This bastard? He's just a kid!" The old king sighed. "Today is. This morning, at this very moment, he is still a child. When you turn around next time, he will have become a teenager, or even worse, a man. Then you can use him for whatever you want." It's too late. But Regal, if you mold him now, he'll be loyal to you in 10 years. He won't be a bitter bastard who might be incited to claim the throne, but Is a loyal follower, united to the royal family in blood and spirit. A bastard is a unique thing, Regal. If you put a crest ring on him and send him out, he becomes There are no diplomatic envoys that a foreign king would dare refuse; there are places where you dare not send a prince to adventure, but you can send him with confidence. Think of the uses that can be made for a person who is and is not a royal blood relation. Hostage exchange? Marriage Marriage? Private work? Diplomacy with a knife?" Regal's eyes widened at the king's last words.There was a pause, and we all breathed in silence, looking at each other.Regal spoke, sounding like a piece of dry bread stuck in his throat. "You said these things in front of this child, saying that you want to use him as a tool and a weapon. Do you think he won't remember your words when he grows up?" King Shrewd laughed, and the laughter echoed off the stone walls of the great hall. "Remember? Of course he will, I'm sure of that. Look at his eyes, Regal. There's intelligence in those eyes, and possibly Skill potential. I'd be foolish to lie to him." , and I'd be even dumber if I started training him without an explanation, because then his brain would be waiting for other seeds to take root. Don't you, boy?" He kept his eyes on me, I suddenly realized that I was looking back at him too.We were all looking at each other and reading each other as he spoke the entire passage.There was honesty in the eyes of this man who was my grandfather, a relentless, hard honesty with no comfort in it, and I knew I could be sure it would always be there.I nodded slowly. "come here." I walk towards him slowly.When I walked up to him, he got down on one knee and was at eye level with me.The Fool knelt gravely beside us, looking earnestly at my face, and at his.Regal bowed his head and glared at the three of us.The old king knelt down to his illegitimate son and grandchildren. At that time, I didn't think of the irony of the scene, but solemnly let him take the gooseberry tower from my hand and throw it to the puppies who followed me .He took the pin from the silk scarf around my neck and pinned it lightly to my simple woolen shirt. "You are mine now," he said, a declaration that claimed me more than our common blood. "You don't need to eat other people's leftovers. I will take care of you and take good care of you. If anyone wants to give you more and better things and ask you to turn against me, then you come and tell me they I'll give you as much and as good as I'll give you. You'll never think I'm mean, and you'll never use 'not being treated well' as an excuse against me. Do you trust me, boy? " I nod, still in the dumb way I'm used to, but his steady brown eyes ask for more. "Yes, Your Majesty." I said. "Very well. I'll give you some orders about you, and you'll obey them. If there's any order that strikes you as odd, tell Burrich, or come and tell me. You just go to my door and take out that pin." , and they'll let you in." I glanced down at the brooch, where a red gemstone gleamed among the silver trimmings. "Yes, Your Majesty." I tried to speak again. "Ah!" he said softly, and I heard a hint of regret in his voice, wondering why.His eyes let go of me, and suddenly I realized where I was again, of the puppies and the hall, of Regal looking at me with increased disgust on his face, of the jester's eagerness for no apparent reason nodding.Then the king got up and turned away, and I felt a chill go through me, as if suddenly taking off a cloak.This is the first time I have tasted the Skill under a master. "You disapprove, don't you, Regal?" The king's tone was homely and casual. "My king can do as he pleases." Emperor Zun looked unhappy. King Shrewd sighed. "That's not what I asked." "Of course my mother wouldn't approve of it. Showing kindness to this child will only make people feel that you have acknowledged him, which will make her and others start to think wildly." "Heh!" The king chuckled, as if he thought the words were very interesting. Emperor Zun immediately became excited. "My mother won't agree, and she won't be happy. My mother—" "She has disagreed with me and been unhappy with me for years. I hardly feel it now, Regal. She'll babble, protest like hell, and tell me again that she's going back to Farrow as a Duchess, let you succeed as Duke later. And, if she is very angry, she will threaten me that after she goes back, Faro and Tils will rebel and form another kingdom, and she will be the queen .” "Let me succeed as king later!" Regal added rebelliously. Shrewd nodded to himself. "I guessed right, she did put this tainted rebellion in your head. Listen, boy. She might swear and throw pots and pans at the servants, but other than that she Absolutely nothing more, because she knew that it was better to be the queen of a peaceful kingdom than the duchess of a traitorous grand duchy, and Farrow had absolutely no reason to betray me, except those invented in her own head. Her ambition has always been greater than her ability." He paused and looked directly at Emperor Zun. "That's a very bad shortcoming for a royal." Regal stared at the floor, and I could feel the waves of pent-up anger in him. "Come on!" said the king.Regal followed obediently like a hound, but he gave me a venomous look as he walked forward. I stood there watching the old king leave the hall, feeling the loss that came with it.This man is really strange.Even though I am an illegitimate child, he can still call himself my grandfather!In this way, as long as he speaks, I will be willing to be loyal to him, but he chooses to use material things to buy my loyalty.The pale Fool paused at the door, glanced back at me, and made an incomprehensible gesture with his narrow hands, which might have meant an insult, a blessing, or simply a foolish wave.Then he smiled, stuck out his tongue at me, and turned and hurried after the king. In spite of the king's promise, I stuffed my coat with sweets and cakes, and ate them all among the puppies in the shade behind the stable.We're not used to having such a big breakfast, and my stomach grumbled uncomfortably for hours afterwards.The pups huddled together and fell asleep, but my emotions oscillated between fear and anticipation, how I wished nothing would happen, how I wished the king would forget what he had said to me.But he did not forget. I finally made my way up the stairs to Burrich's room rather late that night.All day I wondered what those words in the morning might have meant to me, but it was superfluous.For as soon as I entered the room, Burrich put down the harness he was mending, and turned his full attention to me.He stared at me in silence for a while, thinking, and I met his eyes.Something has changed and I'm cringing.Ever since Burrich got Big Nose off, I've believed that he had the same power over me, that he could get rid of a pup as easily as a puppy.This does not prevent me from feeling close to him. People don't necessarily need love to feel dependent.This sense of being able to lean on Burrich was the only really stable thing in my life, and now I feel even that is starting to fall apart. "So," he said at last, in a tone that made the word a foregone conclusion, "so you've got to run up to him, don't you? You've got to get noticed. All right. ! He's already decided what to do with you." He sighed, and the silence changed, and for a brief moment I almost thought he felt pity for me.But after a while he spoke again. "I have to pick out a horse for you to-morrow. He suggested that I pick a young horse and train you both at the same time, but I persuaded him that it would be best to start with an older, more Steady horse. I told him to teach one at a time. But I have my own reasons for putting you with a horse who is less... less impressionable. You have to behave yourself and if you fuck , I'll know. Do you understand?" I quickly nodded to him. "Speak back, Fitz. You must speak to those teachers and masters." "Yes, my lord." Very typical Burrich.Getting a horse into my hands was the one thing that worried him the most, and having dealt with his own worries, the rest was pretty easy for him to talk about. "From now on, you will be up at dawn, boy. You will take lessons with me in the morning, learn how to take care of horses, how to handle horses, and how to hunt with hounds well, so that they obey your orders. I will teach Yours is the way humans control livestock." He emphatically emphasized the last sentence, pausing to make sure I understood.My heart sank, but I nodded and added hastily, "Yes, my lord." "In the afternoon you take lessons with them, learn how to use weapons and so on, and at the end you probably have to learn Skills. In winter, you have lessons indoors. I think they must learn languages, symbols, writing, reading, arithmetic, etc. And history. I I don't know why you learn these things, but you have to study hard to satisfy the king. He is not a person who can easily offend, let alone make him angry. Of course, the most sensible way is not to let him notice you at all, But I didn't warn you about this, and it's too late now." He cleared his throat suddenly and took a breath. "Oh, one more thing will change." He picked up the piece of leather he had been mending earlier, and leaned over to continue working, as if speaking to his fingers. "You'll have your own room from now on, upstairs in the castle, where the royal family lives. You'd be sleeping there by now if you hadn't procrastinated so late." "What? I don't understand." .room?" "Oh, so you still talk when you want to? You heard me, boy. You'll have your own room, upstairs in the castle." He paused, then simply Said, "I finally have my privacy again. Oh, yes, tomorrow they're going to make you a suit, and boots, but I don't understand why they're putting them on your growing feet." Boots, no way—" "I don't want to live in a room upstairs in the castle." As oppressive as life was with Burrich, it suddenly struck me that it was better than the unknown.I imagined a large, cold room with stone walls and a stone floor, with shadows hiding in the corners. "Well, you've got to go anyway," Burrich announced unmoved. "And you should have gone a long time ago. Even if you were not born in a righteous way, you are still a horseman. Put you in the stable like a little stray dog. Well, it's really not good." "I don't mind." I risked it in despair. Burrich looked up, looking at me sternly. "Hey, you're really talking tonight, aren't you?" I look down at him. "You live here," I pointed out angrily, "you are not a stray dog!" "I am not the prince's illegitimate child." He said succinctly. "You'll live in the castle from now on, Fitz, that's all." I dared to look at him, and he lowered his head and spoke into his hands again. "I'd rather be a stray dog," I said boldly, my voice changing with fear, and I added, "You wouldn't let them do that to a stray dog, change it all at once All in all. When they gave the terrier baby to Sir Grimsby, you sent him your old shirt with him, so he could have a place that smells like home and can get used to his new surroundings. "Well," he said, "I didn't . . . come over here, Fitz, boy." I walked over like a puppy, to my one and only Master, who patted me on the back and rubbed my hair like I was a hound. "Well, don't be afraid, there's nothing to be afraid of. Besides," he said, and I could hear his tone softening, "they just told us you'd have your own room in the castle tower, and no one said you'd Sleep in there at night! If you think it's too quiet some night, you can come down here, Fitz, eh? Is that okay?" "I guess so!" I muttered. For the next two weeks, the changes came fast and furious.Burrich woke me at dawn, brushed and washed me, and the part of my hair that fell over my eyes was cut short and the rest was tied in a braid and hung down my back, like the other grown men in the Castle.He told me to put on my best clothes, but it turned out that the clothes were too small for me. He clicked his tongue, shrugged and said, let's just make do with it! Then we went to the stables, and he showed me the mare that had been allotted to me.The horse's fur was gray with some spots, and the mane, tail, nose, and lower parts of the legs were black as if stained with soot, hence its name.This is a tame horse, well-built and well-tended, and it would be hard to find a less challenging mount.I had childishly hoped at least to ride a sprightly gelding, but what I got instead was soot.I tried to hide my disappointment, but Burrich must have felt it. "You don't think he's very good, do you? Well, Fitz, how many horses did you have yesterday to make you dismiss a well-behaved, healthy horse like Sooty now? Be gentle with him, he I'm pregnant with a colt now, a bred from Sir Kenny's very bad-tempered bay stallion. Cobb has been training him for a hunting horse, but I decided he would be better for you Ride. He's a little upset, but I promise to give him a soot-born pony to train from scratch." Burrich got me an old saddle and insisted that no matter what the king said, I'd have to ride decently before he'd have a new saddle made for me.Sooty had a smooth gait and quick responses to the movements of the reins and my knees, and Cobb had trained him so well.Its temperament and mood remind me of quiet ponds.Even if he was thinking about something, it wasn't thinking about what we were doing, but Burrich watched me so carefully that I didn't risk trying to read his mind, so I rode him blind, using only my Talk to it on your knees, with the reins, with a shift in weight.The effort was exhausting, and I was exhausted long before the first session was over, and Burrich knew it, but he didn't allow me to leave early.I still have to groom him, feed him, and clean my saddle and harness until his mane is tangle-free and the saddle's old leather is shiny with oil, before I can leave and eat in the kitchen by myself . But Burrich put a hand on my shoulder as I started to run for the back door of the kitchen. "You can't eat there anymore," he told me, in a firm tone. "It's only for guards, gardeners, and the like. Nobles and their valets dine in another hall, and from now on you're going to Go there and eat." As he spoke, he ushered me into a dimly lit room with a long table and another taller table at the front of the room.The table was covered with all kinds of food, and the progress of the diners was also different, because when the king, queen, and prince were away like today, the people at the high table didn't care about the serious stuff. Burrich nudged me into a seat on the left side of the table, which was about a little forward in the middle of the long table, but not too far forward.He himself sat on the same side, but lower down.I was hungry, and I didn't have anyone staring at me to see that I was nervous, so I ate a decent meal in no time.Food straight from the kitchen is hotter and fresher, but that sort of thing doesn't matter for a developing boy, and I've been hungry all morning, so I have a pretty good appetite. I was full, and I was thinking of a sandy place beside a certain embankment, warmed by the afternoon sun, full of rabbit holes, where the beagle and I used to spend sleepy afternoons .I got up to leave the table, but a boy came up behind me and said, "Master?" I looked around to see who he was talking to, but everyone else was busy eating.The boy was taller than me and several years older than me, so I looked up at him in surprise. He looked straight into my eyes and asked, "Master? Have you finished eating?" I nodded, too surprised to speak. "Follow me, then. Hod sent me, and you're going to learn how to use a weapon this afternoon at the drill ground. I mean, if Burrich's done your lesson." I was taken aback by Burrich's sudden appearance beside me, kneeling on one knee.As he spoke, he straightened my shirt and smoothed my hair. "I'm done with him for the time being. Now, don't look so surprised, Fitz, do you think it's okay for a king to talk? Wipe your mouth clean and go! He's bigger than me Strictly, lateness is not allowed on the weapons practice ground, hurry up and go with Brant!" I obeyed obediently, my heart sank.I followed the boy out of the dining room, trying to imagine a master who was stricter than Burrich.That was a very scary thing. As soon as he walked outside the restaurant, the boy's respectful attitude disappeared immediately. "What's your name?" he demanded, leading me down the gravel path to the weapons room and practice field. I shrugged and pretended to be suddenly interested in the bushes that lined the path. Brandt snorted knowingly. "Hey, they've got to call you something! What did old lame Burrich call you?" Surprised by the boy's apparent contempt for Burrich, I blurted out, "Fitz. He calls me Fitz." "Fitz?" he snickered. "Yeah, that's what he does. The old guy talks straight." "He got his leg hurt by a wild boar," I explained.The boy sounded as though Burrich's lameness was some stupid thing he did to show off.Somehow, his mocking tone made me feel stabbed. "I know!" He snorted disdainfully. "That gash on his leg was bone-deep. The big boar with the tusks almost fell on the horseman, but Burrich blocked it. Burrich and the six hounds were all unlucky." , I heard." We passed through a doorway in a wall covered in ivy, and suddenly the practice field opened up in front of us. "When Junqi walked over, he thought the pig was dying, and he only needed to stab it again, but it jumped up and rushed towards him, and broke the prince's spear, I heard .” I had been following this older boy, listening intently to his every word, when he suddenly turned and came towards me.I was startled, almost fell, and stumbled backwards.The boy laughed at me. "I think it must have been Burrich's unlucky year to replace the horse, huh? I've heard people say that, that Burrich traded his lame leg for the horse to escape death, and that the horse's illegitimate son Take it and make it your own pet. I want to know, how did you suddenly get weapons training? Yes, they gave you a horse, I heard?" There was something more in his tone than jealousy.Now I know that there are many people who always regard other people's good luck as their own losses.I felt his growing hostility, as if I had trespassed on a dog's territory, but if it was a dog, I could connect with him and assure him that I meant no harm, but there was something about Brant. Only that hostility, gradually gathering like a storm.I wondered if he was going to hit me, or if he expected me to fight back or run away, I wondered.I had almost decided to run, when a fat man in gray appeared behind Brant and grabbed his back tightly with one hand. "I heard the king ordered him to be trained, yes, and given a horse to practice riding. That's enough reason for me, and it should be enough for you, Brant. .And I heard you were sent to get him here, and then you're supposed to report to Master Tellem, who has an errand for you. Didn't you hear that?" "Yes, ma'am." Brant's vigor suddenly disappeared, and he just nodded vigorously. "You've 'heard' so much gossip, I want to remind you that wise men don't tell all they know, and that people who tell stories have nothing in their heads. Do you understand, Brant?" "I think so, ma'am." "You think so? Then I'll make it clearer. Stop meddling around and do what you're supposed to do. Here I'll work harder, I'll be more willing, and maybe someday people will say you're my 'favorite.' I can keep you too busy for gossip." "Yes, ma'am." "You, boy," She turned to me suddenly, just as Brant was hurrying down the path. "Follow me." 这老女人没有停下来看我有没有照做，只是径自大踏着步伐穿过开阔的操练场，我要小跑步才跟得上。操练场紧实的土地被晒烤得硬梆梆的，烈日灼烧着我肩膀，我几乎立刻就开始流汗。但这女人走得这么快，却似乎丝毫没有不适。 她全身上下都是灰色：深灰长罩衫、浅灰紧身裤，还有一件将近及膝的灰色皮围裙。我猜她是某种园丁之类的，不过她脚上穿的灰色软靴让我觉得纳闷。 “他们找我来上课……跟浩得上课。”我气喘吁吁地说。 她冷淡简短地点点头。我们走到武器室的阴影中，脱离露天操练场上的亮晃晃阳光，我紧眯的眼睛感激地睁开来。 “我要上的是武器课。”我告诉她，以防她听错了我先前的话。 她再次点点头，推开门，这座有点像谷仓的建筑是间武器室，我知道这里放的是练习用的武器，精良的钢铁武器是收在城堡里的。武器室里光线温和，略微凉爽，还有木头、汗水，和刚铺上的新鲜芦苇的味道。她脚步毫不迟疑，我跟着她走到一座架子旁，上面架着一根根削了皮的棍棒。 “挑一根。”她告诉我。从她叫我跟她走以后，这是她第一次对我说话。 “我是不是应该先等浩得来？”我怯怯地问。 “我就是浩得。”她不耐烦地回答。“现在你挑一根木杖，小子。在其他人到之前，我要先跟你一对一，看看你的资质、看看你知道多少。” 她没花多少时间就搞清楚我几乎什么都不知道，而且很容易畏缩。她用自己手上的棕色棍棒只消几下敲击闪避，就扣住我的棍子，把它从我震得发麻的手中甩出去。 “呣——”她说，声调不严苛也不慈祥，就像园丁看到一颗用来当种子的马铃薯上稍有病虫害时可能发出的声音。我朝她探寻过去，在她身上发现跟那匹牝马一样的安静之感，一点也不像博瑞屈那样防着我。我想那是我第一次意识到，有些人是完全不会感觉到我向他们伸出触角的，有些动物也是。我其实可以更进一步往她脑海探寻进去，但发现她对我丝毫没有敌意已经让我松了好大一口气。于是我乖乖站着不敢轻举妄动，任由她检视。 “小子，你叫什么名字？”她突然质问。 here we go again. “斐兹。” 我的轻声回答让她皱起了眉头，于是我挺直身体，把声音放大一点。“博瑞屈叫我斐兹。” 她稍微瑟缩了一下。“这的确是他的作风。见到母狗就叫母狗，见到杂种就叫杂种，博瑞屈就是这种人。嗯……我想我看得出他的理由。你是斐兹，我也就叫你斐兹。好，现在我要让你知道为什么你选的那根棍棒对你来说太长、太粗。然后你再重选一根。” 她解释完，我选了另一根棍子，然后她慢慢引导我进行一段练习，这段练习当时看来复杂得无以复加，但不到一个星期就变得非常简单，就像把我那匹马的鬃毛编成辫子一样简单。我们刚结束这段练习，她的其他学生就一涌而入，共有4个人，都跟我年纪相差不到一两岁，但都比我有经验得多。情况颇为尴尬，因为这下子学生的人数变成单数，没有人想跟新来的对打练习。 我不知怎么熬过那一天，不过到底是怎么熬过的，现在我很幸运地已经一片模糊想不起来了。我记得她终于放我们走的时候，我已经全身酸痛，别人沿着小径冲回城堡，我则闷闷不乐地一个人走在后面，咒骂自己干嘛要惹国王注意。走了很久的上坡路才走到堡内，餐厅里又挤又吵，我累得没什么胃口，我想我只吃了肉汤和面包。我离桌一拐一拐走向门口，一心只想着温暖又安静的马厩，这时布兰特又拦住了我。 “你的房间准备好了。”他只说了这么一句。 我绝望焦急地看向博瑞屈，但他正在跟旁边的人说话，完全没注意到我哀恳的眼神。因此我再度跟在布兰特身后，这次是走上一道宽敞的石阶，走进堡内我从来没深索过的部分。 我们在一处楼梯间平台停步，他拿起那里桌上的一座分枝烛台，点燃插在上面的几根蜡烛。“国王一家人就住在这一厢。”他若无其事地告诉我。“国王的卧室就在这条通道底，跟马厩一样大。”我点头，盲目相信他告诉我的话，后来才发现像布兰特这种跑腿小厮根本不可能进入王室成员住的厢房，要更重要的仆役才进得去。他带我往上又走了一层，再度停步。“客房在这里。”他说着用烛台比了比，火光随着他的动作流动。“当然是重要的访客才有得住。” 我们又往上爬了一层，楼梯比前两层明显窄了许多。我们在接下来的楼梯间平台再度停下脚步，我惶惶然看着往上愈来愈窄、愈来愈陡的楼梯。但布兰特没有带我继续往上走，而是沿着这一厢前行，经过三扇门，然后他拉开一扇木门的门栓，用肩膀顶开门。这扇门感觉很沉重且开启得不甚顺畅。“这房间好一阵子没用了。”他高高兴兴地指出。“但现在这就是你的房间了，欢迎你来住。”他说着把烛台放在一口箱子上，然后就关上沉重的门离开，留下我一个人在一间半明半暗的陌生大房间里。 我不知怎么地克制住自己，没有跟在他后面跑出去，也没有开门，而是拿起烛台点燃墙上的烛台。 多了两组烛光，阴影缩回角落里。壁炉里有一堆小得可怜的火，我翻动它一阵，主要是希望多点火光而非为了取暖，然后开始探索起我的新房间。 这是间简单的方形房间，有一扇窗子。墙壁和我脚下的地面用的是相同的石材，只有一面墙上挂着织锦挂毯，让石壁看起来比较柔和一点。我高举蜡烛想仔细看看它，但照不见太多东西，只看得出画面上有一只闪闪发光、长着翅膀的生物，还有一个看起来像国王的人在它面前恳求着。后来别人告诉我，这挂毯描绘的是睿智国王与“古灵”为友的情景，不过当时我只觉得它看来十分不祥不善，于是转身走开。 这房间有人敷衍打扫过一番，地上铺散着干净的芦苇和芳香药草，平整的羽毛床看起来刚拍打过，床上放着两条毯子，是高级的羊毛。围着床的帘幕已经拉开，箱子和凳子也都掸过灰，这些就是房里仅有的家具。但是，一张不但铺着床单还挂有帘幕的真正的床、一张附有椅垫的凳子，再加上一口可以放东西的箱子，我从来不曾独自享有过这么多家具，而且还是我一个人专用的，这使它们看起来更大了。 此外还有壁炉，我大胆地往里面又添了一块柴薪；还有窗子，前面放着一张橡木椅，此刻窗扇紧闭挡住夜风，但外面看出去八成就是海。 箱子的样式很简单，四角镶有黄铜，外表颜色深暗，但打开后里面是浅色的，还有木头的清香。箱里有我寥寥可数的几件衣服，是从马厩那里拿过来的，另外还加了两件睡衣，和一条卷起来放在角落的毛毯，除此之外别无他物。我拿出一件睡衣，关上箱子。 我把睡衣放在床上，然后自己也爬上床。现在要睡觉还嫌太早，但我全身酸痛，而且似乎也没别的事情可做。此刻博瑞屈一定已经坐在下面的马厩房间里，边喝酒边修理马具什么的，炉子里会生着一堆火，还有马匹动来动去的声音隐约从楼下的厩房传来，房间里会充满皮革、油，以及博瑞屈的味道，而不是潮湿的岩石和灰尘味。我套上睡衣，把衣服踢到床脚，安稳地躺在羽毛床上；床褥凉凉的，我皮肤紧绷着冒出鸡皮疙瘩。我的体温让床慢慢暖起来，我也逐渐放松。这一天紧凑又艰苦，我全身上下每一块肌肉似乎都又痛又累，我知道我应该先下床熄灭蜡烛，但实在没有那个力气爬起来，也没有那个意志力去吹熄蜡烛，让房里陷入更深的黑暗。于是我昏沉沉打着盹，半睁半闭的眼睛看着壁炉里那堆勉强挣扎的小火。我多希望自己身在别的处境，而不是这间被人遗忘的房间，也不是博瑞屈那充满紧绷感的房间，我想要的是一种安宁平静，或许我一度曾在某处得到过这种感觉，却已不复记忆。我就这么昏沉沉睡着了。 -------------------------------------------------- ------ Notes: