Chapter 182 Chapter 182 Die in agony

I let go of the door and walked stiffly back to my stone bench. Without thinking, I threw Prolondi's cloak over my shoulders reflexively, but the woolen clothes on my body could no longer keep me warm.Like a rising tide hitting a cave by the sea, I know better that my departure is not far away.I felt like I was going to pass out again, and I resisted, weakly resisting the thought of how Regal was going to kill me.There are many ways, and I doubt he will try to force a confession from me, which he probably will, given enough time.The thought made me sick, and I tried to pull myself back from the brink, not wanting to realize so completely that I was going to die a painful death.

There was a wonderful flash of inspiration in my heart, which made me realize after deep thinking that I could deceive Emperor Zun.In the pouch inside my bloodstained cuff, there was still the poison I had prepared for Wallace long ago. If I ate it, I would die less badly. I almost swallowed it.But rather than a painless death in sleep, the poison I concocted would cause convulsions, congestion, and a high fever.Later, I thought that maybe Regal's death would have been better, but I didn't find it comforting at all.I lay on the stone bench and wrapped Prondi's voluminous cloak tightly around me, hoping he wouldn't miss it too much, for it was probably the last kind thing anyone would do to me.Instead of falling asleep, I deliberately immersed myself in the world of wolves.

I wake up later from a human dream.I dreamed that Chade scolded me for not being alert.I shrunk still smaller within Prondi's cloak.I couldn't tell if it was day or night by the light of the torches in my cell, but it always felt like it was late at night.I tried to sleep again, but Chade's urgent voice still begged me... I slowly sat up.The vague rhythm and intonation was clearly Chade's, but it seemed to fade away as I got up.I lay down again, and the volume increased again, but I still couldn't hear what he was saying, so I put my ear on the stone bench.No.I slowly got up and walked around the small cell, repeatedly going around the walls and every corner, and then found that the voice was the loudest in one corner, but I still couldn't hear the words clearly. "I don't understand what you're saying." I said to the empty cell.

The deep voice stopped, then started again, but the tone changed to a questioning tone. "I can't understand what you're saying!" I said even louder. Chade's voice came back, agitated but not louder than before. "I don't understand what you're talking about!" I yelled in panic. There was a sound of footsteps outside the cell. "Fitz Horse Rider!" The guard was so small that she couldn't see through it. "What?" I asked wearily. "What were you yelling just now?" "What? Oh, a nightmare." The footsteps gradually faded away.I heard her laughing and saying to another guard, "It's hard to imagine a dream that would be more terrifying to him than waking up." She spoke with an outback accent.

I went back to the stone bench and lay down.Chade's voice fell away.I also quite agree with the guard's statement.I didn't sleep for a while, wondering what Chade was so anxious to tell me.I think it should be good news, I don't want to think about the bad news.I shall die here, at least for helping the queen escape.I wonder how far she has traveled.I thought of the Fool, and wondered how he would stand the harsh winter journey.Instead of letting myself wonder why Burrich didn't follow them, I thought of Molly instead. I must have been dozing off because I saw her.She was struggling to climb up the slope, carrying a load of buckets on her shoulders, with a pale and haggard look on her face.There was a small wooden house on the hill that was about to collapse, and the walls were covered with snow.She stopped at the door to put down the bucket, and stood outside the door overlooking the ocean.She frowned at the fine weather and the breeze that whitened the waves, lifted her hair just as I had done before, and then brushed her warm neck and chin.Her eyes widened instantly, and then burst into tears.

"No!" she said loudly, "I don't want you anymore, no." She stooped and lifted the heavy bucket into the cabin and slammed the door behind her.The thatched roof was not secure at all, and I let the growing wind blow me away. I'm caught in a riptide, ducking down to let it wash away my pain.I wanted to dive deeper, into the fiercest current and let it wash me away, away from myself and all my petty worries.I lowered my hand into the deeper rapids and it jerked me like a rushing river. If I were you I would back off. will you?I let Verity ponder my situation for a moment.

Maybe not.He replied gravely, kind of like a sigh, I should have guessed it was going to get this bad.It seems that only great pain, severe disease or extreme bondage can break your heart defense and allow you to pass skills.He stopped for a while, and we all fell silent, thinking of nothing but everything.So, my father the king passed away.Zegu and Duanning, I should have guessed it a long time ago.His fatigue and debilitating physical strength; excessive and frequent exhaustion is characteristic of my prince's subjects.I suspect this has been going on for a long time, perhaps since before Garen... died.Only he wants to get such a thing, let alone how to plan it.What an abominable use of the Skill!Are they spying on us?

Have.I don't know how much they know.There is one other person who also disturbs us, and that is desire. I am such a damn fool!Look, Fitz, we should have known.The battleships were all good, then when they knew what you and I were doing, they managed to hold us back.The Skill Group fell into Regal's grasp long before it was formed, so our messages came late or disappeared; and reinforcements always came too late, or never started at all.He was full of hatred, like a tick that sucked blood, and he won. Not quite, Your Majesty.I refrained from wondering whether Kettricken was safely on her way back to the mountains, but the thought kept recurring in my mind, along with lust and brute force and cowardice.We must be cautious.

A warm shadow emerged.I will.But, you know how much I appreciate you.Maybe we paid a very high price, but it's all worth it, at least for me. Same for me.I sensed his tiredness and thought he was about to give up.Are you giving up? not yet.But like you, my future doesn't look bright.Everyone else died or fled, but I'll keep going.However, I don't know how much longer I have to go, or what to do when I get there, and I'm tired.It is much easier to give up.