Chapter 161 Chapter 161 The loneliest statement in the world

She was almost on the verge of answering my question.I watched her grit her teeth and swallow the words back, and suddenly became cold. "Why do you think I will regard you as the central pillar of my life?" She retorted me, "Why do you think I only care about you and have nothing else to worry about?" I stared at her dumbfounded. "Maybe because that's how I feel about you," I said heavily. "It's not like that." She was very annoyed, correcting me like a child who insists that the sky is green. "That's it." I insisted, trying to hold her tighter, but she just stayed stiff in my arms.

"Your Crown Prince Verity is more important to you, and so is King Shrewd, not to mention Queen Kettricken and her child." She pointed at each one, as if calculating my fault. "I know my responsibility." I said calmly. "I know where your heart is," she said coldly, "and you don't put me first." "Verity is... not here to protect his princess, child, and father." I tried to reason. "So, at this moment, I must put personal life and death aside and the people I love most, and put them first. Not because I love them more, but..." I struggled uselessly for what to say. "I am a citizen of my prince." I said helplessly.

"But I belong to no one." Molly made it the loneliest statement in the world. "I will take care of myself." "It won't be like this forever." I protested. "One day we will be free, we can get married, and then..." "You still have to obey the king's orders." She finished for me. "No, Fitz." Her tone was full of determination and pain, and then she pushed me down the stairs.All the winter chill seemed to fill us between us as she descended the two steps, and then she spoke. "I must tell you something," she said almost tenderly, "that there is another person in my life who is as important to you as the king is to you, more important than my personal life and my favorite. Just Like you said before, you can't blame me." She looked back at me.

I didn't know what I looked like, but she turned her head away, as if she couldn't bear to continue looking at me. "For that man, I'm going to get out of here," she told me, "to a place that's safer than here." "Molly, please, he can't love you like I do," I begged her. She doesn't look at me. "Your king can't love you like I... used to. But it's not about how he feels about me," she said slowly, "but about how I feel about him. He has to be the most important thing in my life Man, he needs me to do the same. Know that. It's not that I don't care about you anymore, it's that I can't put that feeling ahead of his well-being." She went down two more steps. "Goodbye, newcomer." She didn't say anything more, but those words stuck in my heart.

I stood on the stairs and watched her go, and suddenly felt that the feeling was too familiar, and the pain was too unforgettable.I ran down the stairs to catch up with her, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the dark under the stairs. "Molly," I said, "please." She didn't say a word, didn't even fight me. "What should I give or tell you so that you understand how much you mean to me? I just can't let you go!" "No matter what you say, you can't keep me." She whispered.I felt like she was expressing some emotions, some anger, courage and determination, but I couldn't find the words to describe it. "Please," she said, and those words hurt me because she was begging me. "Just let me go! Don't embarrass me, and don't make me cry."

I let go of her hand, but she didn't go away. "A long time ago," she said cautiously, "I said you were just like Burrich." I nodded in the dark and didn't care that she couldn't see me. "You're like him in some ways and not in others. I'm going to make a decision for us as he made a decision for Patience and himself that we have no future. You already have someone else in your heart , our situations are too far apart, too far away to connect with any love. I know you love me very much, but your love...is different from mine. I want to share everything in life with each other, you But want to keep me in a box and separate from your life. I'm not someone to turn to when you have nothing more important to do, I don't even know what you're doing when you're not around, you don't Never share that with me."

"You don't want to hear it," I told her. "You wouldn't want to know either." "Don't talk to me like that again," she whispered angrily. "Can't you see that I just can't stand that, and you won't even let me make that decision for myself? Then you can't make that decision for me, because you have no right to it! If you can't even do what you're doing Say, how can I believe you love me?" "I'm killing," I heard myself say, "for the king. I'm an assassin, Molly." "I don't believe you!" she said softly, almost blurting out, the fear in her voice was as deep as the contempt, and she finally had some sense that I was telling her the truth.Finally, as she waited for me to admit that it was a lie, a brief but eerie silence fell between us.She knew the lie was actually true, but she denied it for me. "You're an assassin? You can't even get past the gate guards to see why I'm crying! You don't have the guts to fight them for me! You want me to believe you killed for the king now," she said in choked tones full of rage and despair. "Why are you saying this now? Why at this very moment?

Want to impress me? " "If I wanted to do this, I probably would have told you." I admit, and it's true.I was afraid that Molly would leave me for telling the truth, which was why I kept the secret tight, and I was right to be concerned. "Lies," she said as if to herself, "lies, all lies, from the beginning. I'm so stupid. People say that if someone hits you once, they will hit you again, and it's the same with lying The truth, and I stayed and listened to lies, what a hopeless fool!" The last cruel sentence hit me hard, making me take a few steps back, and she stood far away from me. "Thank you, Fitz Horseman." She said coldly in a serious tone. "You've made it so much easier." She turned and walked away.

"Molly," I begged, reaching for her hand, but she shook it off, then raised her hand and slapped me across the face. "Don't touch me," she warned in a low voice, "see if you dare to touch me again!" Then she left. It took me a while to remember that I was standing in the dark under the stairs in Burrich's room, shivering from more than just cold.No, nothing else.I pursed my lips, neither smiling nor angry.I was always afraid that my lies would cost me Molly, but the truth shattered in an instant everything I'd been holding together with a whole year of lies, and I wondered what I had to learn from it?I went upstairs very slowly, and knocked on Burrich's door.

"Who is it?" It was Burrich's voice. "It's me." He opened the door and let me in. "What is Molly doing here?" I asked, not caring what my tone sounded like, or the jester sitting at Burrich's table in bandages. "Does she need help?"