Chapter 139 Chapter 139 Witnessing the tragedy

She turned and walked away, getting farther and farther away from me, still embracing herself, as if she was afraid that she would fly away.She looked very lonely, wearing a dirty blue dress, and her proud head was lowered at this moment. "Molly's red dress..." I looked at her back and whispered, but I couldn't see that Molly anymore.Everything that is happening now is caused by me alone, including her now. The pockmarked man is a harbinger of disaster in the legends of the Six Principalities. As long as you see him strutting on the road, you know that disease and plague are coming; if you dream of him, it is a warning of impending death.Stories about him always refer to him appearing before the deserving, but he sometimes (perhaps in puppet plays) represents a harbinger of disaster, while the pockmarked dolls suspended from the stage warn the audience that they are about to Witnessed the tragedy firsthand.

The long winter days are painful, and every moment I'm prepared for something to happen.I must observe carefully before entering the house, and I only eat food that I have witnessed the production process with my own eyes, and I even draw water from the well to drink.I don't sleep well and the constant alertness makes me feel tired.I got angry with those who spoke to me occasionally, morose when I visited Burrich, kept silent when I was with the queen, and Chade, the only one I could be calm about, didn't summon me.I was so lonely to the point of wretchedness. I dared not go to Molly, and kept Burrich's interviews brief for fear of bringing him my troubles.I can't openly leave Buckkeep to be with Nighteyes, and I'm afraid someone will discover our secret passage.I waited and watched, and nothing happened again, and the feeling of dread became a complex torture.

I visit King Shrewd every day.I watched him shrink before my eyes; the Fool grew darker, his sense of humor more bitter.I look forward to the cold winter day that suits my mood, but there is still a sunny blue sky outside the window.Buckkeep was buzzing with festivities and carnivals every night, with masquerade balls ensuing, and the rich and wealthy summoning bards to perform.The inland dukes and nobles had good wine and good food with Regal, and they drank and merry together until late at night. "Like lice on a dying dog," I said angrily one day when I was helping Burrich change a dressing on his leg.He said that keeping Kettricken's door open at night was unnecessary because the carnival noise made it difficult to sleep.

"Who's dying?" he asked. "We all are. One day we're all going to be candles in the wind. Didn't anyone tell you? But your wounds healed surprisingly quickly, especially with the way you treated them." He looked down at his bare leg, then bent it cautiously, the musculature stretched unevenly but not cracked. "Maybe it's healing on the surface, but I feel like it's not healing on the inside," he said, not complaining.He raised his glass and downed the brandy, and I watched him drink with reluctance.His life now follows a certain pattern. When he left Kettricken's door early in the morning, he went to the kitchen to eat breakfast, then went back to his room and started drinking, and then after I helped him change the bandage on his leg, he kept going. He drank until bedtime, and after getting up and eating at night, he went to watch Kettricken's door.He stopped working in the stables and handed over all the responsibilities to Shou, who did the work as if it were an undeserved punishment.

Patience sent Molly to tidy up Burrich's room almost every two days.All I know is that these visits actually took place, not much else; Burrich also surprisingly tolerated such an arrangement, which has mixed feelings for me.No matter how much Burrich drank, he always treated women with kindness and affection, but a whole row of empty brandy bottles only reminded Molly of her father, but I still hope they know each other.One day, I told Burrich Molly that she was being threatened for being with me. "Dating?" he asked suddenly. "Only a few people know that I care about her," I admit with extreme caution.

"A man doesn't bring his problems to a woman he cares about," he told me sternly. Instead of answering, I told him some details about the attacker that Molly could recall, but they didn't remind him of anything either.For a moment he stared dreamily at the walls of the room, then he drank from his glass and spoke cautiously. "I'll tell her you're worried about her well-being, and I'll tell her that if she's afraid of being in danger, she must come to me, and it's better for me to handle it." He looked up into my eyes. "I'll tell her it's wise for you not to approach her, it's for her own good." He poured another glass of wine, and added calmly, "Patience is right, it's a good idea to send Molly to me." Sensible."

I paled thinking about all the hints in that sentence, knowing the rare moment when I was silent.He drank the brandy, looked at the bottle on the table, and slid it slowly across the table to me. "Can you put it back on the shelf for me?" he asked. Cattle and winter stores continued to be lost from Buckkeep, and some were sold at cheap prices to the Inland Duchies, while the best hunting horses and mounts were brought by barges from Buckkeep to areas closer to Tul Lake.Regal announced it was a way to keep the Red Ships from plundering our best breeding animals, but Hand told me the people in the city complained that if the King couldn't keep his own castle, what else could they expect?As a ship carried antique tapestry and furniture upriver, the murmurs devolved into rumors that the Farsighteds would soon be abandoning Buckkeep without fighting, or even waiting for an attack, and I doubted uneasily. These rumors are all true.

My life in Buckkeep was a kind of prison, which prevented me from directly following the conversations of the people in the city; and when I entered the guardhouse, I was greeted by silence.Since my sphere of activity was confined to the castle, gossip and speculation arose.The gossip that flowed around me brought back to life the topic of my failure to save the little girl from the Forged that day.Other guards only chatted with me about the weather or other light-hearted and humorous topics.I wasn't outright ostracized, but I was excluded from the usual chatter and quarrels in the guard room.Talking to me is bad luck, and I don't want that to happen to the men and women I care about.

I'm still quite welcome at the stables, but I try to avoid deep conversations with people, and I don't get too close to the animals.The stables had been a morose lot lately, and since there was so little to do, they quarreled more and more.The stable mates have been my chief source of information and rumours, but nothing so far has been good.Rumors of the looting of Bynes town had long been mixed, and there were quarrels in the taverns and docks of Buckkeep, and there were even rumors of people migrating as far south or inland as possible.Verity's mission was also belittled or even ridiculed, and all hope that had been held was lost.Like me, the people of Buckkeep are waiting in fear for disaster to strike.

We've had a stormy month, and the festivities at Buckkeep have been far more disruptive than previous tense times.A waterfront tavern catches fire during an exceptionally wild night of revelry, and only a gust of rain can keep it from spreading to warehouses on the docks.A fire in the storehouse would have made the disaster even worse, for Regal had already consumed all the grain and supplies in the castle storehouse, and it seemed unnecessary to keep what was left.Although the raiders never took Buckkeep, I was ordered to reduce my rations until the end of winter.