Chapter 122 Chapter 122 A hopeless goal

"It's just disaster," I admitted. She nodded to me. "Fitz, if I say 'yes' tonight, if I'm pregnant...what will you do?" "I don't know, I haven't thought about it." "Think about it now," she begged me. I said slowly, "I think I'll... find a way to find you a place somewhere (I'll find Chade, I'll find Burrich, and beg them for help, I thought), Somewhere safe and away from Buckkeep, perhaps up the river. I'll see you sometime and try to take care of you." "You mean you're going to put me aside. Me, and...our kids."

"No! I will keep you safe and keep you in a place where no one will humiliate and mock you for raising your children alone, and when I am able, I will come to you and our children." "Have you thought about coming with us? We could leave Buckkeep, you and me, and go up the river now?" "I cannot leave Buckkeep, and I have explained that to you as well as I can." "I know you've explained it, and I've tried to understand, but I don't think you can't go." "My mission for the king is..." "Then don't do it, let someone else do it. Come with me and live our own lives."

"I can't. It's not that simple, the king won't allow me to just leave." We somehow moved away as she folded her hands across her chest. "Verity is gone, and few believe he will return. King Shrewd is getting weaker by the day, and Regal is ready to take the throne at any moment. If what you say is half true about Regal's feelings for you, wait until he does Do you still want to stay here when you're king? Why does he want to keep you? Fitz, can't you see that everything is falling apart? The Proximity Islands and Ferrytown are just the beginning, and the robbers won't stop there."

"That's why it's all the more important that I stay and carry out my mission, fighting for our people if need be." "One can't stop them," Molly pointed out. "No one is as stubborn as you, why don't you use all your stubbornness to fight for us? Why don't we fly far away, cross the river and go inland to live our own life away from the robbers? Why do we have to fight for a hopeless goal Give up everything?" I can't believe she said those words.It would be treason if it came from me, but she made it so casual, as if we and the non-existent child were more important than the king and the six duchies combined.I can't answer her.

"Well." She looked me straight. "It's true to me. If you're my husband and I have our baby, it means more to me than anything else in the world." All important." So what should I say?I know she won't be satisfied, but I have to tell the truth: "You are so important to me, very important. But, that's why I'm here, because you don't run away from things that are so important." , and should instead stand up and defend it.” "Defend?" she raised her voice. "When will you understand that we can't defend ourselves? But I do. I stood between robbers and my niece and daughter. I almost died. When you've been through that, come back with I'm talking about defending!"

I was silent.Not only did her words hurt me deeply, but they also reminded me of holding a child and watching the blood run down her cold little hands.I can't imagine going through something like this again, but if it's my job, it's my responsibility. "We can't just run away, Molly. We either stand up and fight, or we lose and get slaughtered." "Really?" she asked me coldly, "is it just because you put your loyalty to the king before us?" I couldn't meet her eyes, and she said with a snort, "You are like Bo Ricky. You have no idea how much you resemble him!"

"Like Burrich?" I was confused.I was unexpectedly taken aback by her saying that, not to mention her tone of voice as if it were a mistake. "That's right." She was quite sure. "Because I am loyal to the king?" I still don't know. "No! Because you value the king more than your woman... or your lover, or even your life." "I do not know what you're talking about!" "That's it! Look! You really don't get it. You just go about your business and act like you know all the great things and secrets and all the big things that happened. So, you might as well tell Me, why does Patience hate Burrich?"

I'm completely lost at the moment, not sure what this has to do with me, but I know Molly must have connected the two, so I try to say very cautiously: "She blamed him for me. She thinks Bo Ricky took Junqi to pieces...that's why I'm here." "That's it! Look! Look at how stupid you are, it's not like that. Lacey told me one night she had a little too much elderberry, and I mentioned you and she said To Burrich and Patience. Patience loved Burrich, you fool, but he wouldn't marry her. He said he loved her but couldn't marry her, even though her father would condescend her to marry her because He has sworn allegiance to his master with life and sword, and he doesn't think he can do both. Well, he said he wished he could marry her as he wanted, and he wished he hadn't sworn fealty before he knew her, but still, he said he Just couldn't marry her.

He said silly things to her, like a horse can only wear one saddle no matter how much it wants to.So, she told him, then, go, just go, follow this master who is more important to you than me, and he did.Just like you, if I told you so, you would make the same choice. "Her cheeks were red, and she shook her head and turned her back to me. So it seems that this has something to do with my fault.And now, as bits and pieces of the story take shape with the addition of other people's commentary, I feel distraught.The story of Burrich's first encounter with Patience.She was sitting under an apple tree and told him to pull the thorn out of her foot.Rarely does a woman make such demands of her husband's subordinates as a blunt young maid would make of a young man who catches her eye.Also, his reaction to my mention of Molly and Patience that night, by simply repeating what Patience had said about horses and saddles, made the situation clearer.

"Does Junqi know this?" I asked. Molly turned to look at me. She obviously didn't expect me to ask this question, but she couldn't help but finish the story. "No. I didn't know. When Patience first met him, he didn't know that he was Burrich's master, and Burrich didn't tell her who his loyal master was. Patience didn't want to talk to Junqi at all. , because she still had Burrich in her heart, you know. But the horse was stubborn, and according to Reshy, he loved her like nothing else, and he won his heart because of it. Patience agreed to the marriage then, yes He said yes, and she would marry him, but only found out later that he was Burrich's master, and only when the steed told him to give her a special horse."

I suddenly remembered that Burrich looked at Patience's mount in the stable and said, "I trained that horse." I'm not sure if he knew that this horse was a gift for his sweetheart when he was training Silk, And it was from her fiancé.I bet it must be so.I've always thought Patience hated the horse because he cared so much for Burrich, but now the triangle was a lot more nuanced, and a lot more painful.I closed my eyes and shook my head, lamenting how unfair the world is. "Nothing is pure and beautiful," I said to myself, "it is always covered with a layer of bitter skin, and there is always a sour core hidden."