Chapter 71 Chapter 71 We will not have a future

"You have to let me go," she replied, "We both know we have no future." At that moment everything was still, and the fire burned slowly.Neither of us moved, but I felt like I was in another place, deeply aware of her smell and everything.Her eyes and herbal-scented skin and hair merged with the warmth and suppleness of her body beneath the soft wool pajamas.I felt her as if suddenly seeing a new color, and all my worries and thoughts were suspended in this sudden awakening.I knew I was shaking, but I saw her hands clasped my shoulders to hold me steady, and a warm current flowed from her hands through my whole body.I looked down into her eyes and wondered what I read in her eyes.

she kisses me. That simple gesture was like an open floodgate.Then she kept kissing me, and we didn't stop to think about the so-called intellectual or moral questions, but continued without hesitation.We totally allowed each other to go into new places together, and I can't imagine a deeper bond and the wonder and joy of giving each other.We put aside all external expectations and memories that night, and were free to be ourselves like two completely independent individuals.I have no right over her any more than she has over me, but I swear I will never regret giving and receiving.The sudden sweet memory of that night has been branded deep in my soul, because it is the most real feeling I have.I still remember when I messed up the bow at the neck of her pajamas into a dead knot with my trembling fingers, and Molly, though she was calmly soothing me, gasped when I responded, surprising herself , but it doesn't matter, because our ignorance has surrendered to another, older perception.I tried to project tenderness and strength, but I also found myself struck by her strength and tenderness.

I've heard it's a dance, and I've heard it's actually a war.Some men talk about it with knowing smiles, others with sarcasm.I've heard burly women in the market laugh about it like hens clucking at crumbs, and prostitutes about the limbs they earn their living from like street vendors boasting about fresh fish.I myself feel that this is an indescribable feeling, like the blue, the scent of jasmine and the sound of the flute, which can only be experienced personally.Her warm and bare shoulders, her uniquely soft feminine breasts, her soft moans when she gave herself up, the fragrance of her throat, and the smell of her skin are just fragmentary descriptions, although very sweet, It still can't reflect the complete experience, even if there are thousands of details, there is no way to explain it clearly.

The fire in the fireplace burned to dark red embers, and the candles were long gone.It feels like this place that made us feel strange has become a home at this time.I think I'd rather give up everything I have than leave this misty love nest of messy blankets and feather quilts to breathe her warm peace here. That's fine bro. I jumped like a hooked fish, jolting Molly out of a hazy daydream. "What's wrong?" "Calf cramp." I lied and she laughed and believed me, but I was instantly ashamed of such a small lie, and ashamed of all the lies and twisted truths I'd told.I wanted to open my mouth and tell her the truth, that I was the Royal Assassin, the instrument of the king's murder, that my wolf brother would share with me what she had done that night, and that she had given herself to a man who hunted and People who share life with animals.

I can't imagine the hurt and humiliation it would have caused her if I had actually told her this, and she might have felt that our touch had stained her forever.I told myself that I could tolerate her despising me, but I would never allow her to despise herself, so I bit my lips and told myself that this is a nobler behavior, because I think it is better to keep a secret than let the truth ruin her.So, did I lie to myself at the time?Aren't we all like that? I lay there and let her hold me in her warm hands while her warm body warmed my side, and I promised myself that I would make a difference.I will stop playing my current role and never have to tell her these horrible details.Tomorrow, I promise myself, I'll tell Chade and Shrewd that I'm no longer helping them kill, and tomorrow I'll show Nighteyes that I must break the ties.Just tomorrow.

But the dawn has come, and tomorrow is today, and I have to lead the coyotes to hunt the Forged, because I want to meet Shrewd with a new victory, so that he will be in the mood to grant the favor I ask for.When I finish the hunt tonight, I'll make him promise Molly and me a marriage.I promised myself that his permission would start a new chapter in my life, and that I would never have to keep a secret from the woman I loved.I kissed her forehead and gently placed her hands beside me. "I have to leave you," I whispered as she moved, "but I pray it won't be long. I will ask Shrewdly to let me marry you today."

She moved a bit, then opened her eyes and watched me leave her bed naked, with a puzzled look.I add more wood to the fire, avoiding her eyes, and pick up the scattered clothes and put them on.When I fastened my belt, I looked up and saw her smiling at me.It turned out that she was not very shy, but instead made my whole face flush. "I feel like we're married," she said softly. "I can't imagine any vow that would bring us closer together than we do now." "I feel the same way," I said, sitting on the edge of her bed and taking her hands again, "but it would be so satisfying for all to know, and my lady, it means we need a wedding, Then I will swear my allegiance to you in public. But I must go now."

"Wait, stay a little longer. I'm sure we'll have a little time together before everyone else gets up." I leaned over and kissed her. "I must go now and get back the rope hanging on the wall outside my lady's window, or I will attract criticism." "At least stay and let me help you change the medicine on the wound on your arm and neck. I was going to ask you how you got hurt last night, but..." I smile at her. "I know. There were more fun things to do then. No honey. I'm leaving, but I promise you I'll change my medicine in my room this morning." Calling her "honey," But more than any word, it makes me feel like a real man.As I kissed her, I promised myself that I was going to get out of here soon, but still missed her caress on my neck, and I sighed, "I really have to go."

"I know, but you have to tell me how you got hurt." I could tell she didn't think I was hurt badly and was just trying to keep me by her side, but I still lied as much as I could with shame. "The dog bit a bitch with a pack of puppies in the stable. I thought I knew her well, but I was wrong. When I bent down to pick up one of her puppies, she rushed to bite me."