Chapter 38 Section 38 I don't belong to any group

We are not the same wolf pack and I am not part of any group.My duty is to serve the king. If he is your leader, he is also my leader.Because we are one wolf pack.When it is full, it will become more and more proud. In another way, I told it coldly that I belong to a group that you cannot participate in.In my group, every member is human, and you are not.You are a wolf, so we are not the same wolf pack. It stood still, not answering me, but it felt it.The way it feels makes me shudder.Isolation and betrayal, and loneliness. I look away and leave it there, but I can't hide from it how hard it is for me to do it, or the deep shame I feel for rejecting it, and I want it to feel like I'm doing it all For its good.So similar, I thought, as if Burrich had taken Big Nose away for my own good, lest I get attached to the puppy.The thought burned me, and I had to leave quickly, and almost ran away.

When night came I went back to the castle, went upstairs to my room, got a bundle of things I had left there, and went downstairs again.My unruly feet slowed as I passed the second landing, knowing that in a few moments Molly would be coming here with Patience's tray and plates.Patience seldom dined in the dining hall with the other noblewomen of the castle, preferring the privacy and Lacey's intimate company of her chambers.There's been a hint of reclusiveness about her shyness lately, but that's not what keeps me here.I heard Molly's footsteps coming down the stairs and knew it was time for me to go, but I hadn't seen her for days, and Jamin's timid flirting only made it clearer how much I missed Molly.Of course I know that I should wish her a good night like any other lady. It shouldn't be a big deal. I also know that I shouldn't stay here, and I know how Patience will blame me if he hears about it, but... …

I pretended to study the tapestry on the stair-step wall that had hung there since before I came to Buckkeep.I heard her approaching footsteps gradually slow down, felt my heart beating like thunder, and when I turned to look at her, my palms were still sweating. "Good night." I reluctantly opened my mouth in a whisper. "Good night," she said with the utmost dignity, holding her head higher and her expression quite determined.Her hair was braided into two gentle braids and coiled around her head like a crown.She was wearing a simple blue dress with trimmed white lace at the collar, and I could tell who had made the ruffles.It was a good sign that Lacey would give her a gift of clothes she had made herself.

Molly walked past me unflinchingly, gave me a quick glance, and I couldn't help but smile at her, and at that moment, a warm blush spread over her face and neck, and I could almost feel the heat .But the line of her lips became stiff immediately.As she turned and went downstairs, the scent of her body wafted towards me, lemon balm and sweet ginger, which were Molly's own. female.very nice.Unlimited appreciation. As if pricked by a needle, I jumped up and turned around, foolishly expecting the pup to appear behind me.But of course not.I searched outside, but it was not in me.When I probed further, I found it dozing in the grass in the hut.

do not do that.I warn about it.Get out of my mind!Unless I let you stay with me. consternation.Then what did you ask me to do? Don't stay with me unless I want you to come with me. How do I know when you want me to be with you? I will naturally search for your soul when I need it. There was a long silence.Then I can explore your soul when I need it, it suggested.Yes, this is the same wolf pack. Call for each other's help when necessary, and be ready to hear that call.We are one wolf pack. No!That's not what I'm talking about.I mean keep you out of my mind when I don't need you.I don't want to share thoughts with you all the time.

What you say makes no sense at all.Can I only breathe when you're not breathing?Your mind, my mind, are the minds of the same pack of wolves.Besides putting my thoughts here, where else can I put them?If you don't want to hear me, don't! I stood there dumbfounded, trying to understand what it was thinking.A page bid me good night, but I didn't respond. "Good night." When I came back to answer him, he had already gone far.He glanced back suspiciously, wondering if he had been summoned.I waved for him to keep going.I shook my head vigorously to shake off the messy thoughts, and went downstairs to Patience's room.I'll have to talk to the little wolf again at a later date to let him understand that he will soon be independent, away from my sight and mind.Then I will put this experience aside and ignore it.

I knocked on Patience's door and was let in, and there I found Lacey who had just finished her laborious regular cleaning and had the room tidy again, even leaving an empty chair to sit on.They were both happy to see me, and I chatted with them about my journey to Bearnes, but avoided mentioning the heroine.I know that Patience will hear rumors about her sooner or later, and she will definitely question me; and then I will have to refute the rumors in front of her, saying that the rumors have exaggerated the close combat between me and the heroine.Hope this works.I also brought back presents, a miniature ivory fish for Lacey to use as a necklace pendant or to pin on her clothes, and a pair of amber and silver earrings from Patience, and a large clay pot covered with wax Wintergreen Raspberry Jam.

"Hintergreen? I haven't tasted holly." Patience seemed puzzled by the gift I gave her. "No?" I also asked pretending to be puzzled. "I thought you told me it was a childhood fragrance you missed day and night. Didn't you have a holly tree from an uncle?" "No. I don't remember telling you that." "Maybe it's Lacy, then?" I asked sincerely. "It's not me, master. Although it smells good in the air, it's still too pungent for me." "Oh, that's it! Well, I made a mistake." I put it on the table. "What? Snowflake, is it pregnant again?" When I was talking to Patience, her white dog finally decided to come up to sniff me, and I felt that its little heart was for me. He was puzzled by the little wolf smell.

"No, it's just getting fat." Leixi interjected to answer for it, and then stopped to scratch the back of its ear. "Madame leaves sweet meats and biscuits on the plate, and Snowflake always finds a way to steal them." "You know it shouldn't be like this, it's not good for its teeth and fur." ​​I scolded Patience, but she replied that she knew, but Snowflake was too old to learn these rules.We went on chatting from there, and after an hour I got up to leave, and I had to try to report to the king again. "I was sent away earlier at his door," I mentioned, "not by the guard, but by his servant Wallace, who would not let me in. I asked him where the guard was? He answered me Said that the guards had been ordered to stand down. He also said that the king needed to be quiet, so I'd better not disturb him." "The king's dragon is not in good health, you know it," said Lacey. "I've heard that he seldom set foot out of his room before noon, and when he did, he was possessed of energy and appetite. But in the evening, he suddenly became weak and began to slur his speech. In the evening, he eats in the house, but the cook says that the plate is always brought back untouched, which is really worrying."