Chapter 19 Chapter 19 You're an asshole

I reluctantly nodded. "On the third floor, if you don't mind." She was silent for a while. "That's the little bastard's room." That was a cold challenge thrown. I didn't rise to the challenge the way I used to, without even lifting my head. "Yes, you can go." I sent her away equally grimly. She moved closer.She grabbed my hair and lifted my face up to look at her. "New kid!" she screamed angrily. "I should have left you here." I looked up and couldn't keep my eyes on her face, but it didn't matter, I knew her, the outline of her face and the way her hair fell forward to her shoulders, and her scent like a summer afternoon, The feeling of relief hit me like a tidal wave.It's Molly, my candle-making girl Molly. "You're still alive!" I yelled, my heart was beating like a hooked fish, and I hugged her and kissed her.

At least I try to kiss her.She pushed me away with her arms and said fiercely, "I'll never kiss a drunk. That's a promise I made to myself, and I'll always keep that promise." Her tone was firm. "I'm not drunk, I'm just sick." I protested, feeling even more dizzy from the excitement, but I couldn't even stand upright. "It's okay, you're here, and you're safe." She steadied me, a reflex she'd learned from caring for her alcoholic father. "Oh, I see, you're not drunk." Her tone was mixed with disdain and disbelief. "You're not a clerk's errand, let alone a stable hand. Do you always get to know people by lying? That always seems to be your fate, too."

"I'm not lying." I seemed to be complaining, and I was also confused by the anger in her tone, but I hoped that the moment when our eyes would meet would come soon. "I just didn't tell you...it's too complicated. Molly, I'm just glad you're safe and right here at Buckkeep! I thought I'd have to find..." She still held me to keep me on my feet. "I'm not drunk, really. I just lied because it would have embarrassed me to admit how weak I am." "So you still lied." Her tone was as sharp as a whip. "Should lying make you more embarrassed, newcomer. Or is lying the exclusive prerogative of a prince's son?" She let me go and I leaned weakly against the wall, trying to hold onto the whirlpool of thoughts while holding myself upright . "I'm not the prince's son," I finally said, "I'm the bastard, that's different, and yes, it's too embarrassing to admit it. But, I never told you I wasn't bastard, but always It feels good to feel like I'm the new guy when I'm with you, just because there's a group of friends who see me as the 'new guy' instead of the 'little bastard'."

Instead of answering, Molly grabbed the front of my shirt even more roughly than before, and dragged me down the hall and into my room.And I'm amazed at the power women have when they're angry.She pushed the door open with her shoulder and pushed me onto the bed like an enemy.She let go of me as I approached the edge of the bed, and I fell onto the bed.I barely sat up straight, clasped my hands between my knees, and shook uncontrollably.Molly stood there glaring at me, and I couldn't see her.Her outlines were blurred, features blurred, but I knew she was angry from the way she stood.

After a while, I continued, "Although I'm not here, I dreamed of you." She still didn't speak, but it gave me more courage to speak. "I dreamed of you when I was raided at Muddy Cove," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "I dreamed of fires and attacks from robbers. In the dream, you were protecting the two children while They look like they're your own." Her silence was like a wall blocking what I could say, and maybe she thought I was talking about dreams like a stupid idiot.But why, why do so many people in the world let Molly see my inhuman form?The silence became longer. "But you are safe and sound at Buckkeep." I tried to hold my trembling voice. "I'm glad you're safe. But what are you doing at Buckkeep?"

"What am I doing here?" Her voice was as tense as mine.The anger made her tone hard, but it also made me think it was accompanied by fear. "I'm here to find a friend." She paused for a while and seemed to be suppressing something.When she spoke again, her tone unnaturally calmed down, almost softly speaking: "You know, I became a debtor after my father died, so my creditors took my shop and I had to Relatives who don't live in Muddy Cove help with the harvest, make money, and start over, and I can't even guess how you figured that out. I made some money, and my cousin promised to lend me the rest. It was harvest time , originally planned to return to Buckkeep the next day, but Muddy Bay was raided, and I was there with my niece..."

After a while, her voice became disembodied.I recalled with her, the robbery, the fire, and the laughing woman wielding a long sword.I looked up at her, almost able to focus my eyes.I didn't say a word, but she looked over my head and spoke calmly. "My cousin lost everything but was lucky that the kids were alive, and I couldn't pay them back at this time. In fact, they couldn't pay me for my work at all, and it would be useless if I asked. So no Homeless I went back to Buckkeep as winter approached, thinking that the new guy and I had always been friends, and if I needed to borrow money for an emergency, I should be able to turn to him. I came to Buckkeep looking for errands for paperwork , but everyone shrugged and brought me to Federen, but he just frowned and sent me to Patience." Molly paused meaningfully.I tried to imagine that meeting, but shrugged it off. "She made me a lady's maid," said Molly softly. "She said it was the only thing you could do after you humiliated me."

"Shame you?" I stood up abruptly.The world shook violently around me, and my blurry vision melted into sparks. "How did I shame you?" Molly's voice fell silent. "She said you obviously won my love and left me. I assumed you would marry me one day, so I let you pursue me." "I don't know..." I stammered on, "We're friends. I didn't know you thought we were more than just friends..." "You don't know?" She lifted her chin, and I remember that gesture.Six years ago, the next thing she would do is punch me in the stomach.I still flinched, but her tone grew calmer: "I guess I expected you to say that, it's easy to say."

Now I'm angry. "It was you who left me without saying goodbye, and with that sailor named Jade. Don't you think I don't know him? I was there, Molly, and I saw you with him on his arm." Go away. Why don't you come to me before you leave with him?" She straightened up: "I was a woman with a vision, but I became a debtor in a muddle. Can you imagine how I felt when I learned that my father was in debt? The creditor came to collect the debt when my father was still alive, and I also lost Everything. So, should I beg you to take me in like a beggar? I thought you cared about me and believed you would...fuck you, why should I admit this to you!" Her words were thrown at me like a stone .I know her eyes are burning and her cheeks are flushed. "I thought you were going to marry me and want to plan a future with me. I wanted to contribute something to this instead of being penniless and losing my future.

I pictured us opening a little shop with my candles and herbs and honey and your clerical skills...so I turned to my cousin for a loan but he didn't have any and arranged for me to go to Muddy Cove instead Talk to his brother Flint.I've told you how the whole thing ended.I took the fishing boat all the way back here, newcomer, came back to Buckkeep like a bereaved dog, and came here the same day with no dignity, only to find out how stupid I was, and how you pretended and lied to me.You're a jerk, new here, you are. "