Chapter 11 Chapter 23 The Legend of the Mountain Wolf

Had a dream. Peak dream. The summit is exposed in the empty sky. Snow-covered white peaks let the wind blow in the blue sky. It's this dream again—— Fukamachi thought so. A dream I often had before. No, slightly different. If it was a dream I often had before, there should be a man climbing towards the peak.In the dream, I stared at the man's back.However, in the dream I have now, there is no one. Just the peak. Pure white snow covers the ridgeline that stretches to the summit. There were footprints on the snow. While shoveling fresh snow to open the way, we are walking towards the footprints of the peak.

The footprints stretched towards the peak beside the sharp ridge line like a blade. and-- The track broke off at the summit. Did not go downhill. He did not follow the footsteps left by himself from the peak down the mountain. Only one human footprint made its way to the summit, where it disappeared.It looked as if the person who left the footprint stepped on the top of the mountain, stepped into the high-altitude wind, and climbed up towards the blue sky. Only the white peaks are exposed to the wind. It always feels like a very sad and lonely landscape, and also like a landscape without any emotion and life.

Where did the person who left this footprint go? There were no answers left in that landscape. There are only peaks and footprints there. Let the wind blow there. Fukamachi stared at the scenery for a long time. The mountain top and the blue sky unconsciously became a picture that I often see. The dull-colored ceiling with grained wood— When did you wake up? When did you open your eyes? Before he knew it, Fukamachi woke up from the dream, still lying on his back in his quilt, looking up at the ceiling of his room. A three-pyeong-sized room—an apartment room used as a dormitory. The sun shone on the drawn curtains, and the tone could not be described as dark or bright light, filling the whole room.

Fukamachi thought to himself, so it is today. There is a dinner party tonight. Last May, the long-lost friends who climbed Mount Everest met in Shinjuku. The sunshine in May is like a knife, piercing through the gaps in the curtains, extending from the tatami to the quilt. It's been a year— Fukamachi murmured to himself. time flies. Has a year passed so easily? I gave up climbing Mount Everest in May, and met Joji Hanyu in Kathmandu in June. Following Hanyu, who challenged Mount Everest alone, he climbed the southwest face in December—more than five months have passed since then.It will be almost half a year.

result-- Hanyu didn't come back. He didn't come back. Fukamachi returned to the base camp, where he and Angarin waited for Hanyu. Waited for a day-- Waited for two days—— Waited for three days—— Waited for four days-- Waited five days— Waited for six days. No matter how he thought about it, Hanyu had already eaten up all his food. The third day back at base camp began with an unbelievably sunny day. On the fifth day, both Angarin and Fukamachi began to think that no matter what the situation was, it was impossible for Hanyu to be alive. However, neither of them could say "don't wait any longer".

It always feels like a miracle will happen. If it was Hanyu—— Because I always felt that if it was Hanyu, he would suddenly come down from the icefall to this base camp right now, or tomorrow. On that day—December 18, after the blizzard, on the morning when Hanyu went to summit, the communication between Angarin and Hanyu became the last conversation. "It cleared up." Hanyu told Angarin so through the radio. Angarin said to Fukamachi: Although Hanyu is tired and short of breath, his voice is not weak. The sound is still full of vitality, not like that of a person who has spent four nights sleeping in a way that is more than 8,000 meters away.

Angelin knew.What will happen to the voice and way of speaking of a person who spends a night at a place exceeding 8,000 meters.No matter how strong a person is there, his breathing will speed up and he will start coughing. In contrast, Hanyu's voice is still full of vitality. "Where's the food?" Angeline asked. "Reduce the dosage, there is still about a day and a half." Hanyu replied. "is that OK?" "It seems that there is barely enough to climb to the top of the peak and come back." "You can't be brave!" "I know."

"are you going?" "Ok." Hanyu nodded. "Go to the summit—" That was Hanyu's last sentence. "He said, do you want to climb directly from the yellow belt?" Shenmachi asked An Jialin. "No, he just said he was going to the summit—" Angarin said: Since then, Hanyu and I have not had any communication by radio. The reason Angarin knew that Hanyu had climbed the rock face directly below the summit was because Fukamachi had returned to the base camp. "I can't go..." Fukamachi said this to Angarin. "I asked Hanyu: At the end of the day, are you going to take the traditional route to the summit? If I didn't say something like that—"

"That's not the case." Hearing Fukamachi's words, Angarin shook his head lightly. "No matter what you say or don't say, Hanyu will probably climb that wall. That's Bisalu sap." Fukamachi and Angarin waited for Hanyu for seven days, and on the eighth day they made up their minds to descend from the base camp. During this time, several hikers came to the base camp, saw the tents there, and went back.When Shenmachi and An Jialin returned to Luobuqi, there were rumors everywhere that someone seemed to be trying to summit Mount Everest without permission.

It won't take long for it to reach the ears of the guards. Now that there are reports that people have climbed the mountain without a permit, government officials in Guanfang cannot just sit idly by.Before returning to Kathmandu, government officials stopped them loudly. Fukamachi didn't want to think about what happened next. Complicated dialogue. Sign the document. Excuse. In the end, Fukamachi had to pay the Nepalese government a one million yen summit fee. Of course, he did not mention Miyagawa's name and the name of the publishing house.Everything is regarded as a personal entry into the mountain.

I met Hanyu by chance in Kathmandu, knowing that he was going to challenge Mount Everest without oxygen in winter, and I joined him for taking pictures—— Fukamachi will not be allowed to enter Nepal within the next ten years. That's the price to pay for this unlicensed climb. When returning home, Naradar Rachandra and Angarin came to Kathmandu Airport to see them off. Angarin himself will have to go out of business for a while. It is not possible to act as a guide for foreigners. However, he was able to work as a porter, and the period of suspension was also two years.During the period of closure, if you want to, you can still work as a porter in the same job as before. "Do you regret it?" Angarin asked Fukamachi at the airport. "Won't." Fukamachi said. "If I don't go, I will regret it." "me too." Angelin said. "When Angarin and his daughter are looking for a job in Kathmandu, I will offer a job anytime—" Naradar Rachandra finally said while shaking Fukamachi's hand. On the occasion of parting, Shenmachi asked An Jialin: "Do you think Hanyu climbed that rock wall and reached the summit?" That's an important question. Because even if he can't come back, Hanyu has bet his whole life. Whether he has achieved the first climbing feat in the history of the world is an important thing. As for Angarin's opinion on this, Fukamachi is also very interested . From an objective point of view, that was an impossible climb. No matter who asks anyone in the world, they will probably get the answer "that is impossible". However, if it was Hanyu—— On that ice wall, Fukamachi personally felt Hanyu's powerful muscles rise and fall.Watching Hanyu's body movements on the ice wall.That body, that kind of will—it is impossible for Hanyu not to step on the summit, but when he thinks of the rock wall directly below the summit, and the fact that Hanyu spent time at a point of 8 or 350 meters before that Within a few days, the thought that Hanyu might have exhausted himself on the way to that rock face would come up again. Though he wasn't exhausted, it was very likely that the rock wall would reject Hanyu, causing the rock Hanyu was holding on to to collapse, and when you think about it, you feel that it really is impossible. Angalin showed a noncommittal smile and said: "I've seen that wall firsthand, and I know exactly how dangerous it is. From what I've been up there so far, I don't think anyone can climb that wall—" After speaking, he stared at Fukamachi: "However, no matter what kind of rock face the opponent is, I can't imagine Hanyu falling from it." That was Angarin's answer. That answer must be respected. Finally, as it was time to board the plane, Fukamachi bid the two of them a final farewell. "Take this—" Angarin handed the paper bag containing something to Fukamachi. "I think it's better for you to have this—" Fukamachi took the paper bag and glanced at the two of them. "Namaste." "Namaste." said Angarin and Naradar Rachandra. "Namaste." Fukamachi also thanked them, turning his back to the two of them. From the plane window he stared at the shrinking streets of Kathmandu until he was out of sight.When the plane changed to level flight, opposite the window on the left hand side, at the same height as the plane, I saw the white peaks of the Himalayas. Saw Manaslu. Also saw Dhaulagiri. In addition, I also saw the Khumbu Mountains including Mount Everest. Fukamachi thought to himself: Not long ago, I was in the snow that was as high as this plane. And Hanyu was probably still in the snow. He would probably be like Wilson, gazing up at the summit of Everest from the snow. Fukamachi took out the package wrapped in newspaper from the handbag on his lap and opened it. When I saw something running out of it, I couldn't help crying out. "this is……" BEST POCKET AUTOGRAPHIC KODAK SPECIAL—— Mallory's camera was in Fukamachi's hands. for you. Something that Hanyu handed over to Fukamachi at the base camp.Before that, Fukamachi completely forgot to bring it back with him.Having said that, finding this camera in Manikumar's shop is where it all started.However, after unfolding everything, is it over? Fukamachi asked himself. What started with this camera, is it really over now? Fukamachi runs in the sun. Wearing shorts, sneakers, and a T-shirt, running on asphalt. on the street. Run eight kilometers a day. From February onwards, this became a routine in Fukamachi. Run every day unless you have something special to do. Basically, run at night.Now, however, the time to run is during the day. Tonight, my Everest climbers gathered for a drink in Shinjuku. Fukamachi knew that after drinking with his friends tonight, there was no way to run away.So, he wanted to run first during the day, so he ran before breakfast. The route is a little different than at night. Because if you run the same route, traffic signs that do not operate late at night will operate during the day, and you will be stopped repeatedly during your run.Every time a red light is encountered, the rhythm will be disrupted. ten o'clock in the morning— No, it's not morning. There was no one running like Fukamachi in the surrounding area. I always feel that in the daily life around me, I am the only one who stands out. Today, life in Fukamachi has become stable. Live every day plainly.However, Fukamachi is not yet used to that kind of everyday life.My body and mind are still not used to it. Even before, I never felt used to it. However, the feeling now is not the same as before. In the past, I seemed to want to adapt to that kind of daily life, or worldly perspective. Hope to be recognized for your talents. As a photographer, I want to determine the winner with my work. Fukamachi felt that way. That mood didn't go away, but something changed.But what and how has changed?Fumachi is beyond words. However, Fukamachi only knew that he was different from before. something is missing. Jobs have increased, works have been recognized, and income has also increased. Fukamachi Makoto is gradually recognized by the world—— Not as interested in that kind of thing as I used to be. Ask for nothing. The work has indeed increased than before. Remuneration has also increased. However-- That alone is not enough. That alone cannot satisfy the hungry beast that lurks within. I know that. So, what is that? What can satisfy the deficiency? Fukamachi decided not to think about it. Try to spend each day in a normal way. Already forty-one years old. It's almost time to move out of a student-like apartment and into a decent apartment. I've come of age to do that. Relying on that camera and Hanyu, he made a lot of money. At first, I planned to be silent. Whether it's about Hanyu or about Mallory's camera. Fukamachi originally planned to bow his head and apologize to Miyagawa. Fukamachi originally planned to say: I don't want to use Hanyu's photo. But he couldn't do that. Miyagawa came to Narita Airport to pick him up. Fukamachi only told Miyagawa the schedule of the flight back home. He planned to contact Ryoko Kishi after returning to Japan.He wasn't ready yet, how should he tell her about Hanyu. At Narita Airport, Miyagawa pushed Fukamachi into the car as if kidnapped. A car prepared by a publishing house that Miyagawa belongs to. "I didn't tell you on the phone that things are raging in Japan." The moment the car started, Miyagawa said so. Hanyu Joji broke the regulations set by the Nepalese government and attempted to climb Mount Everest, which became a big topic. Hanyu Joji was still alive, and his attempt to do such a thing first caused a commotion among people related to mountaineering. Climbing the southwest face of Mount Everest alone without oxygen in winter—— The topic itself is topical. Then, the person who wanted to do that was Joji Hanyu, making the topic even more heated. What is even more decisive is that Hanyu broke the regulations set by the Nepalese government and entered the mountain, but he did not return—in other words, the death of Hanyu made the topic not only limited to the industry. If a Japanese disaster occurred in a foreign mountain—and it was a person with a certain degree of popularity, of course it would become the target of general newspaper reports. Makoto Fumachi, the photographer who climbed with Hanyu, has become a topical figure now—— "All magazines and pictorial magazines want the negatives in Makoto Fukamachi's hands. You can go home and have a look, the consequences will be disastrous!" Miyagawa said: I booked a room at the hotel. What Miyagawa said was not a joke. The news about Hanyu was also broadcast on the TV news, and it became a general report, and even thoughtfully included comments from people related to mountaineering. I can also understand why Joji Hanyu attempted to summit Mount Everest. Some newspapers published such comments in addition to Hanyu's deeds in the Himalayas. After all, Hanyu is a climber who has passed his golden age. He is really foolhardy.Actually climbing alone without oxygen in winter, Hanyu was literally going to the southwest face to die. He underestimated the mountain too much. Almost all newspapers published reports and comments of this kind of argument. He is fishing for fame.Speaking of being alone, there is no photographer in the same company.Hanyu probably wants to use this moment of glory, and then return to the mountaineering world, right? Fukamachi watched the TV news tapes and newspaper clippings brought by Miyagawa at the hotel. He underestimated the mountain too much, he was trying to gain fame and glory for a while—— When Fukamachi saw those reports, he felt angry and hot all over. Damn! Tears welled up in anger. What nonsense! Why would someone who doesn't know anything make irresponsible remarks about Hanyu? What can be commented on? Whether it is to gain fame or return to the mountaineering world, Hanyu may have had those thoughts in his mind.Those who have those thoughts are human beings. However, this statement is wrong. Not only that. I know that. Hanyu was trying to climb the southwest face for something different, for something else. Whether it's fame or a return to mountaineering, it's rubbish in comparison. Fukamachi pounded the table with his fist. "To actually write such a boring thing——" Miyagawa, who knew a little about Hanyu because of interviewing him, spat in front of Fukamachi. "Listen, no one knows about Mallory's camera yet. Actually, I've told a few people at our press about Mallory's camera. They're eager to try it. Let's do it at the press." This is an expert report." I don't want to do that, Fukamachi can't say that. I told Miyagawa before. I asked Miyagawa to assist in the interview, and promised to write a report and let his publishing house fund it. The problem isn't paying back the money. Miyagawa cannot be disgraced. However-- "Hey, are you hesitating—?" Miyagawa asked Fukamachi. "I wrote……" Fukamachi murmured. I wrote. He made up his mind. Half of it is giri to Miyagawa.The other half is anger. Fukamachi made up his mind and took out the package from the backpack. Something wrapped in Nepalese newspaper—— "Look at this..." Fukamachi handed it to Miyagawa. "what is this?" Miyagawa opened the package, saw something running out of it, and raised the volume. "Hey, Fukamachi, could this be..." His voice trembled. "Mallory's camera." Fukamachi said. result-- Fukamachi had the photo published by Miyagawa's publishing house and wrote the manuscript for the report. There was even a mention of Mallory's camera. The matter of Kishi Ryoko was not mentioned, and as for the truth about Kishi Buntaro's death, it was written exactly. That became a talking point, and it turned out that it saved Fukamachi. If nothing is published like that, Fukamachi is a criminal in a certain sense. Violation of regulations set by the Government of Nepal. It would not be surprising even if commissioned work dwindles like that, to the point where it disappears from the industry itself. However, the Mallory incident became a worldwide topic mainly in the United Kingdom and the United States. It jumped to the TV news page, and some reporters came from abroad to interview Fukamachi. Compared with the negative image of Fumachi violating Nepalese regulations, Fumachi's professional image is better. And that wave of news fever subsided by the end of February. Newspapers and TV news had stopped talking about that, and after being interviewed in February and published in magazines in March, Fukamachi returned to daily life. However, it was different from the daily life before. Fukamachi accepted that kind of daily life calmly. The camera was handed over to Mallory's family, and the Nepalese government was paid out of the income earned during that period, and the rest of the money was sent to Anjalin. Therefore, the income and expenditure are almost even, not more than ten cents, not less than ten cents. Fukamachi ran. While thinking about why I run, I run. Already forty-one years old. What are you resisting? What are you resisting? Fukamachi calmly accepts the daily life of today. Time passed. Bland time. I already know the wonderful time. That bone crackling time. Here, there is no snowstorm, and there is no cold that seems to freeze blood. I never want to go to that extremely cold and extreme world—— However, he seems to miss that world now. It seems to be nostalgic for that world. The sound of a snowstorm beating the tent. thin air. As soon as I think of those, there will be chattering noises in my heart. Fukamachi ran as if ignoring them. Face it calmly. Now, Fukamachi thinks: once the situation has changed, even if no photos are published, even if there is no writing about Hanyu, wouldn’t that be good? He underestimated the mountain too much. He was probably trying to gain fame. Hanyu has passed his golden age. He was trying to be brave.People can't do that kind of thing. 呿. Fukamachi felt disdainful about this. The kind of critique that is like rubbish, how much is it worth to climb a mountain. However, Hanyu couldn't hear any kind of criticism. No matter how viciously someone criticizes Hanyu, or conversely, how much someone praises Hanyu, Hanyu has already lost his hearing. It's not because Hanyu died. Because since the moment Hanyu entered Mount Everest, he has left all those things on the ground. Hanyu was already in a place where he couldn't hear those words. Hanyu did not attempt to summit Mount Everest for the sake of praise. So, why did Hanyu challenge that rock wall?Fukamachi didn't think he understood that. Fukamachi, however, knows a few things. If someone had climbed that rock alone without oxygen in winter, Hanyu would probably not have done it. Hanyu tried to do it because no one climbed it. Nobody has done that yet— That must have been a big motivation for Hanyu to do that. And Fukamachi knew that Hanyu's motives for doing so were not limited to this. Knowing is knowing, but if someone asks: what is it?Fukamachi couldn't answer.He doesn't know. Probably don't know-- Fukamachi thought. Maybe it's because I don't know, that's why I'm running now. Day after day, I ran to find the answer. It's like torturing your body to avoid forgetting that wonderful time and running. I probably want to continue to have a relationship with Hanyu by running and torturing my body. I haven't forgotten that-- It was like running reluctantly for something. Don't know what that is. Running for things I don't know. Forty-one years old. Interesting age for remaining time. With the remaining time, what can I do and what can't I do? Can we just call it a day? How can forty-one years old be the end of life? Fukamachi told himself while running: It's not over yet! He didn't know what wasn't over, and he didn't want anything to end up running. Fukamachi ran inexplicably. Where are you going? It doesn't end when you run. It doesn't end when you keep doing this. What won't it end? Don't want anything to end? Fukamachi didn't break a sweat, and ran in the May sunshine with peace of mind. These men are full of vitality. Drink vigorously, chat vigorously. There are five members in total. Eiji Kudo. Kenzo Tamura. Masuda Akira. Shuhei Takizawa. Fumachi Makoto. All are one year older than last year. Takashi Funashima and Koichi Ioka were nowhere to be seen. Because the two of them slipped and fell to their deaths on Mount Everest, they were unable to attend the party. Captain Eiji Kudo, 58, runs the hospital with his son. Tamura Kenzo, fifty-three years old.Current real estate agent. "I went to the mountain to calm down a little and then came back, and I returned to work in a blink of an eye. In less than three days, my heart was covered with the original dust again." Tamura took off his suit jacket, loosened his tie, and rolled up his shirt sleeves, revealing his strong arms that didn't match his age, and drank beer at a fast pace. Masuda Akira, forty-nine years old. When I went to climb Mount Everest, I planned to resign from my job and hand in my resignation, but the minister tore up the resignation. The Minister allows him to use the accumulated annual leave in one go. So, the workplace remains the same. "I am lucky to have a minister who is considerate, but it seems to have suffered in the end. Let me climb the Himalayas again, and I will never say that again. That will probably be the last time I will climb the Himalayas. Mount Malaya." Masuda said with emotion. However, the tone is not gloomy. Although I was dissatisfied with not reaching the summit, after making up my mind to climb the mountain, I was mentally prepared to concentrate on my work. Shuhei Takizawa, forty-eight years old. I quit my job when I went to climb the Himalayas, and now I don't have a regular job. So, he is unemployed. "I'm mentally prepared to die on the street." Takizawa said while sipping the Japanese wine. "so--" Takizawa said: Let's go climbing again. Climb again, and then again and again— However, no one chimed in: let's go. Can't say it. Because if you say it, it becomes a lie. Digging time and raising money are not so easy to do. Climbing only once in a lifetime - Mount Everest is such a mountain to them. Since they said they were going to climb, they had to go—then, the group of members challenged the mountain. Since it is regarded as a sacred act for everyone to climb Mount Everest together, if we share that memory together, if we know that we can’t go and say we want to go, it is tantamount to tarnishing its sanctity. Takizawa is also very aware of this. I really want to go. Someone said so. Kudo said the same thing. Tamura also said the same. Masuda said the same thing. Only Fukamachi didn't say anything. While drinking, he replied vaguely. If you respond positively, you may collapse. Can't respond positively. Even if he responds positively, even if he raises money, even if he spares time, even if he endures no matter how hard the training is, Fukamachi will no longer be able to climb Mount Everest. Because they cannot enter Nepal. The matter of the dead Jinggang and Funashima also became a topic. The content of the topic is cheerful small talk.Like when and what kind of joke did Jing Gang say, or what kind of stupid things did Funaoshima do.That guy from Funashima said he was going to take a shit, but that guy was shitting behind a rock while eating yokan without telling everyone!The guy said: If everyone knows, the yokan will be taken away.Among the friends around me, that guy is the first person who loves drinking and eating yokan. Climbers were over forty, and most had friends who died on the mountain.However, talking about the topic of dead friends is far more cheerful than outsiders imagined. Fukamachi himself talked about the southwestern wall half way up with Hanyu. "Yeah, so you are Hanyu's last rope friend." Takizawa said. "No. Because we were not tied to each other with climbing ropes, and Hanyu's climb was done alone—" Fukamachi argued. "I heard that you have been running recently?" Kudo asked him. "yes." Fumachi responded. "Are you trying to climb somewhere? Among the members, you are the youngest. There is still a chance." "It's not what you think. It's just that once you start running, you will become addicted, and you can't stop." Fukamachi said. Slightly drunk upper body. Drinking at a faster pace than usual. The meeting place is the second floor of a yazak bar near Shinjuku Park. Shinjuku Park is just a three-minute walk away. In the past, when I decided to climb the Himalayas, I was also in this shop. After that, more than two years have passed. Time does not stand still for a moment. Even when drinking like this and laughing, time passes mercilessly. He drank the wine again. "By the way, what's wrong with her? Didn't you say you were bringing her here tonight?" Kudo asked. He was referring to Kishi Ryoko. Today, Fukamachi and Kishi Ryoko are dating. Kudo knew about that. Five days after returning from the Himalayas, Fukamachi developed a fever. The high fever was quite severe, and Fukamachi thought that maybe he had contracted some kind of vicious virus in Nepal.So, report to Kudo's hospital. Hospitalized for three days. The diagnosis was a common cold. Kudo said: It was probably because he was physically and mentally exhausted. After returning to Japan, he was no longer nervous. As soon as he relaxed, the flu virus began to attack. At that time, Ryoko was visiting the hospital and bumped into Kudo.Thus, Fukamachi introduced Ryoko to Kudo. Tonight, because of drinking in Shinjuku, I talked with Kudo on the phone. At that time, Kudo asked Fukamachi: "How are you and her going?" Fukamachi confessed honestly, we are dating. If it's convenient, you might as well bring her here when you're drinking in Shinjuku.Anyway, no matter climbing mountains or the Himalayas, you are all destined - Kudo told him so.Fukamachi responded: I will ask her to have a look. Fukamachi also felt that this was a good opportunity to introduce Ryoko to his friends. "She seems to be busy with work and will be late. I think she'll show up around ten o'clock—" Fukamachi said. I really envy. How old are the girls? How did you trick someone into getting it? Teased by everyone, drank for a while. Fukamachi and Ryoko are doing well. He thought to himself: If we communicate so naturally, we will probably be together sooner or later. If there was anything that got in the way of their relationship, it was Ryoko who was aware of it. Ryoko noticed it. The lingering anxiety in Fukamachi's heart. He knew very well that Ryoko probably cared more than himself. Living in his heart, this man named Hanyu Joji. two months ago - "Are you going?" Ryoko asked him. "Do you still want to go climbing?" Ryoko asked anxiously. "I've had enough." She said it bluntly. "I never want anyone I know to die on a mountain again." Ryoko lost her father, brother Kishi Buntaro and Hanyu on the mountain. She lost three people. But now, Ryoko sensed that Joji Hanyu lived in Fukamachi's heart. "I will not go." Fukamachi said. I can't go even if I want to. I'm just running. If you don't run, you can't calm down. "Then why are you running with such a scary expression?" Ryoko said to him. That incident became a topic, only at that time.Even if they met, they would not mention that matter to each other.Because both Ryoko and herself were afraid to speak out.Ryoko noticed it first, and if it was a topic, I would probably notice it too.If you don't make it a topic, you can pretend you didn't notice it.If I kept silent as if nothing had happened, I would probably stop running over time.If Hanyu, who lives in Fukamachi's heart, is allowed to ignore him, Hanyu will probably be quiet sooner or later. Fukamachi drank while thinking about that. The pace of drinking picked up. Can I feed the Hanyu that inhabits me? Feeding the beast Joji Hanyu—— Now, I can understand. How sensitive this beast is to pain, and how easily injured. Willful and pure. Never forget the pain. Live because of that pain. Drunk upper body. Nausea. Just spit on this table. Rough emotions welled up in my heart. Spit out the contents of your stomach. Spit out all the contents of the stomach. Tell me all about Hanyu Joji, mountaineering, and Mount Everest. restraint! Even if I say that kind of thing here, it will only look ugly and dirty.There is no need to speak up.Everyone has a thing or two that must be kept in the stomach. Since then, Ryoko has never mentioned Mount Everest again.She resisted the urge to speak.Fukamachi understood this, very well. never mind. If truth be told, it's not here. But where no one sees. If it were Hanyu, he would do that. Makoto Fukamachi would do the same.It's not because Hanyu did it, I want to do it out of my own will.After all, I am not Joji Hanyu. I am me. Forty-one years old. The forty-one-year-old was drunk and nauseated. Willful and pure? Good at suppressing emotions and not being innocent. what am i thinking If it goes on like this, I'm really going to vomit. go to the toilet— "I'm going to the toilet—" Saying so, Fukamachi stood up. The road is unstable. Go down the stairs to the toilet. The moment I entered the toilet and opened the door, I suddenly felt a strong sense of vomiting and vomited out. Spit up a lot. Holding the toilet seat, he vomited out all the sour and smelly things.Put your fingers in your mouth and press down on the base of your tongue. Vomit. Spit up several times. After throwing up nothing, I suddenly felt comfortable all over. It's better to take a little rest. The stomach must be given a rest. As soon as the door of the compartment was opened, Kudo stood in front of him. "are you drunk?" Kudo asked him. "I'm fine." Fukamachi said. "You drank a little too much." "I'll go to the park to sober up. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes. Please tell everyone that I'm going to run for today's exercise." If Ryoko Kishi comes, can you tell her for me that I'll be right back? ——Fukamachi entrusted Kudo with Ryoko's affairs and walked towards the entrance. At the entrance, I asked the person in the shop for the coat I had left, and put it on. Today, I took out the coat I haven't worn for a long time. Outerwear worn in Kathmandu. When the hand was put through the sleeve, a faint smell passed into the nostrils. The taste of Kathmandu. that smell. The smell of burning lamp oil in the dark lamasery. The smell of cannabis resin. The stench of cows. The smell of feces. human smell. The smell of snow. The smell of sweat. The smell of the gods. There are so many smells, even subtle, that dissolve into that tiny taste.Fukamachi could distinguish so many smells, no matter how fine the particles were. Because I like that messy city. However, the city can no longer be visited. However, when I wore it to Shinjuku in the evening, I couldn't recognize the smell, so why do I recognize it now? Or is it a phantasm of a drunken brain? Is it because I have been thinking about what happened at that time, so I am only now aware of the breath I smelled before? A slightly dirty dark green cotton jacket. After coming back to Japan, I haven't worn it once.Today, I wore this jacket because I was going to meet with members who I hadn’t seen for a long time while climbing Everest. Fukamachi walked out of the shop. Cherry blossom trees whirled above Fukamachi. In the darkness, the branches of the cherry tree trembled. The wind does not stop. All the flowers on the cherry tree withered. Blossoming cherry trees with verdant branches. The new leaves of the cherry tree undulate overhead. The air is neither hot nor cold. The wind took away the heat from Fukamachi's hot body. May-- The evening just after the holiday. A heart-wrenching fresh green fills the surroundings. The smell of greenness melted into the wind and floated over. Botanical scents that stimulate the senses. It was restless above Fukamachi's head. The rustling up and down. Ye Sakura went up and down just like Fukamachi's mood. Refuse to be quiet. Obviously the body is about to wake up, but the cherry blossom trees are noisy, as if they want to fan the charcoal fire in their hearts. what is it then--? Fukamachi thought. What is making all the noise? What is instigating me? Every time the leaves of the sakura tree rustled, Fukamachi's mood would be teased and swayed from side to side. Mood ups and downs. Ye Ying refused to be quiet. What is making all the noise? What is going up and down? Fukamachi walked. No matter how long you go, it's not enough. The green leaves rustle and undulate. Almost want to go crazy. Almost insane, almost died. Today, the darkness is filled with a growing breath of life. Annoyingly suffocating. Unknowingly, he gradually quickened his pace. As if urged by the rustling of green leaves, Fukamachi started running. Under the cherry tree. Why is it so painful? Feel flustered? Forty-one years old. What can I do and what can't I do in the future? Where can I go? do not know. For no reason, Fukamachi ran. For some reason, Fukamachi was in a state of confusion. Fukamachi ran in a turmoil. Because I don't know, my mood is disturbed, and because of my confusion, I run. How many minutes did you run? How far did you run? God knows. God knows how far I have run so far, and how far can I run in the future? Probably ran a few laps in the park. Get drunk again. It hurts. Spit if you can! Spit on me! running. Fukamachi running. Almost want to go crazy. Fukamachi, who was about to go crazy, ran. He didn't know what was choking him. Where is it choked? throat? Chest? heart? Something big choked. That came up from deep inside the body. Indescribable things. 那哽住了。 so big. So hot. 具有高温的东西。 身体因为那个莫可名状的东西的大小，差点破裂。 身体因为那个莫可名状的东西的温度，差点烧焦。 几欲发狂。 几欲发狂，心情纷乱。 无法忍耐了。 冲进草坪中，紧紧抱住樱花树干。 紧紧抱住，在它的根部又吐了。 吐吧！ 吐吧！ 吐了好几次。 吐了一大堆，没想到还有这么多东西可吐。 不管怎么吐，还是吐不够。 酸臭的气味。 嘴巴四周弄脏了。 手帕跑哪里去了——？ 把手伸进口袋。 以左手探了探夹克的左边口袋。 以右手探了探夹克的右边口袋。 found it. 不是手帕。 右手的指尖在右边口袋中，碰到了某种坚硬的东西，发出“砰”一声。 what is it then? do not know. 深町用右手指尖拎住，把它从口袋中拿了出来。 在路灯的光线中，看了它一眼。 色泽美丽的东西。 "Oh……" 深町叫了出来。 Oh-- 坚硬的东西。 坚硬的碧绿石头。 It's turquoise. 第一次看见时，它挂在岸凉子的脖子上。 土耳其石。 羽生娶为妻的雪巴族女子，安伽林的女儿朵玛，她的母亲原本戴在脖子上的东西。 对了，自己在西南壁没把它交给羽生。 而且，就那样把它放进这件夹克的口袋，一直到刚才才想起来。 不，忘记的不只是这颗土耳其石。 而是令人喘不过气的精彩时光。 这个地方所没有的时间存在的地方。 这副躯体中曾经塞满了那种时间。 自己曾经亲身经历过那段。 我没有忘记。 我一直在思考这段精彩时光的事。 没有结束。 一切都尚未结束。 自己还在半路上。 喂—— there's noise. 你终于找到我了吗？ 总觉得清楚地听见了羽生丈二的声音。 我明明一直在这里。 Oh yes. I see. 人有权利。 无论被剥夺什么，无论失去什么，最后剩下的唯一权利。 那就是可以为自己选择的生存方式赌上性命的权利。 what to do? 土耳其石问道。 Oh-- 深町将它紧握在手中，抬起头来。 叶樱上下起伏。 发了狂似地上下起伏。 It's gone. 身体在颤抖。 那像是溃了堤似地，从深町的体内溢了出来。 深町已经无法阻止它了。 脚在颤抖。 膝盖在颤抖。 身体在颤抖。 泪水宛如喷火似地洒了出来。 bow your head. 泪水滴滴答答地在鞋子和地面上形成水痕。 “深町先生……” there's noise. It was a woman's voice. 令人怀念的女人的声音。 转向一旁。 岸凉子站在那里。 “我去店里，工藤先生说，你大概在这边——” 凉子的话说到这里停了下来。 她从正面盯着深町。 深町被她看着。 他以求救的眼神看着女人。 叶樱上下起伏。 叶樱喧闹不休。 凉子的嘴唇动了动。 凉子的嘴唇想说什么。 然而，没有说话。 叶樱的喧闹声，填满了两人之间的沉默。 rustle. rustle. then-- 凉子的双唇开启。 "Ok……" 凉子说。 “你可以去。” 她的声音传进了深町的耳朵。 “这两个月，我一直在想那件事。今天，我想说那句话……” 泪水从凉子的眼中滚了下来。 “你可以去。” 深町看着凉子，想叫她的名字。 然而，那没有化为语言。 从深町的唇间发出来的是，低沉的呜咽之声。