Sometimes, Naoki Kitamura always has a feeling of being at a loss and at a loss, as if he has fallen into a situation where he has completely lost himself.When I was in a daze, I couldn't remember: what did I do?If it was because of focusing on doing things that it became the current state, that would make sense.However, this is not the case in reality. It is clear that he has always been immersed in delusions and unable to find his true self.If you have this kind of "at a loss" at home, it doesn't matter.However, if the above-mentioned situation occurs during the outing, it is too dangerous.For example, you want to cross the road when the red light is on; you leave the store without paying for your purchases; you fall between the tram and the platform and are rescued by the station staff; considered a thief.

As writer Kitamura's popularity has grown, his symptoms seem to be on the rise.Although he had a relatively strong paranoia before, he has completely integrated himself into the works regardless of time and place. Recently, he went out for some business, but not long after he went out, he couldn't remember where he was going.So, he ran to the public phone booth quickly, trying to call home to ask his wife, but he forgot his home phone number.Later, I finally found the number from the publisher's manual I carried with me, and finally figured out my destination. His wife was always deeply disturbed when Bei Cun went out alone.

"Mr. Beicun, you must be more careful, and nothing will happen to you. If something really happens to you, what will you do with me and the child!" Before Beicun went out, his wife repeatedly asked. Kitamura Naoki is a writer who changed careers midway.It turned out that he worked in a second-rate construction company in Tokyo.However, he always felt that working in a company with a strong family background would not have much future, so he started writing novels, and submitted manuscripts to participate in the novel award-winning essay activity. He was shortlisted and won an award. A full-time writer.

Although Beicun's works are not gorgeous and colorful, he is good at going deep into the bottom of society, and the works he creates are penetrating and well-founded, which has established his status as a "backbone writer" in one fell swoop. When he was applying for the manuscript, he suffered from his old problem of "being at a loss" again, which caused a commotion at that time.Since then, this old problem has occurred frequently. At the beginning, Beicun had just finished writing his first novel. After being introduced by others, he brought the manuscript to the publishing house.According to common sense, Beicun's trip would definitely hit a snag, but the publishing house accepted the manuscript in front of the introducer.

In the blink of an eye, three months have passed, but there is still no news.In desperation, Kitamura went to the publishing house to inquire about the situation, and the publishing house replied that it would be reviewed immediately. After waiting for another month, the publisher suddenly called and asked him to come over.Upon hearing the news, Kitamura rushed all the way to the publishing house excitedly.A young editor with his shirt cuffs rolled up came out, his manuscript under his arm. With a "plop", the editor threw the manuscript in front of Beicun. "Do you think it's okay?" Kitamura asked respectfully.

"The manuscript, take it back for now." The editor replied bluntly. "So, is there any place in the manuscript that needs to be further revised?" Although Beicun felt extremely disappointed in his heart, he tried his best to control it and inquired with the mentality that there was still a chance of survival. "Oh, how can we talk about revision!" "You mean to say..." "How about recreating after completely changing the point of view in your novel?" "A complete change of perspective?" "I don't think it matters how you revise the manuscript if it sticks to that point of view. In other words, it just doesn't look like a novel."

"Not like a novel?" Seeing the change in Bei Cun's face, the editor explained: "I'm going to be blunt, don't be angry. Actually, you haven't been able to examine life and society from the perspective of a writer. I think you need to read more Look at the works of famous authors." Just at this moment, the inside broadcast of the publishing house happened to be looking for the young editor.So, the editor grabbed the microphone nearby, and after a few words, he turned back to Beicun. "A guest is here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Bei Cun stood aside dumbfounded.Obviously, for the publishing house, he is not even a "guest".

Under the blow, he walked out of the publishing house annoyed.In order to write this novel, Kitamura even gave up his original job. Therefore, at this moment, he can be said to be extremely depressed, and his mood has been difficult to calm down for a long time.A work that I am full of confidence and painstakingly completed is actually said to be "nothing like a novel".It is conceivable that the blow he suffered was beyond human ability. After leaving the publishing house, Kitamura did not go straight to the station.A strong sense of exhaustion welled up in my heart, and in an instant, it seemed that all the strength in my body had been lost.Although it was still broad daylight, Beicun's eyes were as dim as dusk.Only now did he truly experience the taste of extreme despair.

Inadvertently, he flagged a taxi with his hand and jumped in without thinking.The words of the young editor sounded in my ears again: completely change your point of view!You are not looking at things through a writer's eyes!So how do you change your perspective?What exactly is a writer's vision? Kitamura repeated it over and over, feeling confused.I look at life and society with the eyes of ordinary people!Isn't the eyesight of ordinary people the eyesight of a writer? No matter from which point of view, this work of mine should be regarded as a superior work.What are the deficiencies in the work?Did the young editor really make the above evaluation after carefully reviewing the work?

Bewildered, mixed with anger, Bei Cun gradually became restless.Although life is full of all kinds of setbacks, when one's proud work is denied by others, the setbacks suffered are the most painful.Because this is tantamount to being denied one's own value! "Hey, sir, we've arrived." Hearing the driver's reminder, Bei Cun suddenly came to his senses.Only then did he realize that the car had arrived at a shrine near his home at some point.After paying the fare, Beicun got off the bus.Just as he was rushing home, he suddenly realized that something seemed to be missing.Immediately, a chill that penetrated the bone marrow swept through the whole body.Although he couldn't be sure what happened for a while, his intuition told him that he definitely did something wrong.

After a moment of calmness, he suddenly came to his senses: the manuscript was lost in the taxi! Kitamura quickly ran back to the shrine where he got off just now, but the taxi had already left. In desperation, Kitamura sat down helplessly in front of the shrine.As he had just suffered the blow of the manuscript being returned, Bei Cun froze on the spot in a daze.At this moment, he couldn't even remember the names of the driver and the taxi company, and he couldn't even read the license plate clearly. Although his manuscript was devalued to be worthless, for Beicun, he devoted all his heart and soul.But I actually forgot it in the taxi!It is impossible for anyone to create an identical work again. At this moment, Beicun, who was sitting dumbfounded on the ground, had no time to care about the strange gazes of passers-by. He let his tears flow down his face, and then wept bitterly as if no one else was around.As soon as he got home, Bei Cun went back to his study helplessly, lazily and unable to lift his energy at all. If the manuscript was exchanged for cash or valuables and picked up by an honest person, there might still be a possibility of getting it back.Kitamura couldn't help fantasizing about it. However, for others, a pile of manuscripts may only be used as toilet paper. I am afraid that in the end, they will inevitably be thrown into the trash can. When the sky was about to dawn, the wife suddenly ran to say that there was a visitor. "Guest? Who's here?" Kitamura asked slowly, poking his head out of the bed. "He said his name was Ganli." "Ganli? But I don't know him." "But he said he saw you yesterday." "Yesterday? Why didn't I remember?" "Anyway, let's meet first. I don't think he's a bad guy." Hearing what his wife said, Beicun reluctantly got out of bed.When I came to the door, I found a kind-looking man standing at the door, about fifty years old.There are a pair of small eyes embedded in a round face, and the tip of the big round nose is also bright red.Beicun had no memory, and he couldn't remember where he had seen him. "Oh, I'm so sorry for you yesterday." The man who called himself "Ganli" bowed his head respectfully and apologized, "You got into my car yesterday in front of the publishing house, and I'm at the place where you got off." After inquiring about the area, I judged that you may live here. Yesterday, you seemed to have left your valuables in my car. I thought I would bring it over immediately, but the taxi business was so busy that it was delayed until now. " As he spoke, Ganli took out a very familiar brown envelope, and Beicun's eyes lit up, it was his lost manuscript!Only then did he recall that this man with a round face and a red nose was the driver he took a taxi in front of the publishing house yesterday. "Did you come here on purpose to return the manuscript?" Beicun asked while holding the manuscript tightly. Except for the author's name written on the manuscript, the envelope did not indicate the specific address. Amari only relied on this information to inquire all the way from the shrine where Kitamura got off the bus yesterday. "I waited until after the shift to return the manuscript to you. I'm really sorry, I'm late." Ganli apologized again guiltily, as if this was caused by his mistake. "Thank you! Thank you! How can I thank you? If this manuscript is really lost, I will never be able to write the same work again." Amidst the excitement, Beicun no longer knew how to express his gratitude in words up.In order to express his gratitude, Kitamura immediately prepared a gift, plus 30,000 yen, but when he handed over the gift money, he was flatly rejected.Ganli made it clear that he never came to deliver the manuscript for payment. "Don't say that, this is a little thought, please accept it no matter what. Although your enthusiasm and behavior can't be measured by money, but anyway, it represents my minimum sincerity Thank you. Thank you for coming here on purpose, I am really sorry. So, please accept this kindness no matter what.” "It's enough for you to have the heart. You know, it's our job for the taxi driver to return the lost things of the passengers. So, there is no reason for us to get paid for it at all." The driver responded firmly.It is not difficult to see from his expression of extreme integrity that no matter how much persuasion, he can never shake his inherent belief. Bei Cun knew very well that the conversation had already reached this point, and it would be futile for him to persevere.If you insist on thanking each other with courtesy, you will be rude to the other party, and you may also let down the sincerity of the other party. It was this chance meeting with Liangxing Ganli that the manuscript was fortunately returned to Beicun's hands. In order to participate in the prize-winning essay, Kitamura tried to submit the manuscript again.Unexpectedly, this manuscript, which was once derogated as "no novel", won an award in the authoritative novel essay competition without any modification, and was a great success. The good news of the award, Kitamura told Ganli Liangxing immediately.After Ganli learned about it, he was so excited as if he had won a prize, and sighed again and again: "At the beginning, when I saw the envelope containing the manuscripts, I always felt that the pile of things seemed to be shining with golden light. It turns out that my intuition is very effective! Sir, you will definitely be an outstanding writer in the future. Here, I Congratulations to you first!" Amari Yoshiyuki squinted his small eyes happily, and sincerely expressed his heartfelt congratulations to Kitamura for his award. "Whether I can become an outstanding writer in the future, although it is still unknown, one thing can be guaranteed, that is, I will never disappoint Mr. Send me back the manuscripts that may be thrown into the trash can, and for this, I will never disappoint you." "Yes, you must have this kind of courage!" That night, the two drank happily all night at the red lantern in the suburbs. Since then, Kitamura and Amari have become friends and have kept in constant contact with each other. It didn't take long for the life of a writer in Beicun to get busy.Although there are fewer and fewer opportunities to get together and drink together, Ganli always rushes over in his spare time after shifts or rest days to describe to Beicun the appearance of the passengers in his taxi. In fact, rather than saying that there are fragments of the lives of various passengers left in the taxi, it is better to say that this reflects life itself.A taxi that shuttles through the city is like a small boat, taking on the life journey of passengers at a certain moment.Although it was only a fleeting moment, it contained the essence of their lives.Amari's daily narration has become the best material for Kitamura's novel creation. "Actually, those of us who drive taxis are not just like the boatmen in the big river of life? Although we have ferried all kinds of people across the river, we cannot reach the other shore. Once we step on the other shore, we will I can no longer play the role of boatman. I have been used to this job for many years, but now I am too lazy to go ashore. To be honest, I always feel that after a person goes ashore, relatively speaking, there seem to be more hard and annoying things.” Sometimes, Ganli would lament in this way with deep emotion. "The river is like life itself, so, one day, people should go ashore." "So, where are the passengers I'm carrying going?" "I'm afraid no one can answer this question. Just take me as an example. In fact, I don't know exactly where my life journey is going. All of these are controlled by the god of fate. " "Hearing what you said, I remembered that there were indeed similar descriptions in ancient books. The book said that although the rivers we see all look the same, the rivers seen in different periods are different. the difference." "There is such a description in "Abbot's Notes": The gurgling water will never return." "Yes, it is true. This is like you, sir. I have been in the taxi business for thirty years. During this time, except for some old customers, the passengers I picked up were different each time. I also often think, these Passengers are in a hurry, where are they going?" "I think you might be very excited if you happen to meet a passenger who has carried you before again?" "Even if this kind of thing happened, you might not have noticed it at the time. Even if you noticed it at the beginning, it's nothing. For example, when the same banknote is returned to your hand after being used, I'm afraid you won't notice it. Have a special touch?" "Well, the taxi industry is just like paper currency circulation." "Taxis are like happy little dragonflies that don't know where to go, shuttle back and forth to pick up passengers. Every time I get out of the car, even I don't know where to go. However, it is also so interesting that I don't want to It’s been thirty years since I gave up this line of work and what to do with this.” While chatting with Ganli with great interest, Beicun just took advantage of this to continuously accumulate novel creation materials.However, communicating with Ganli is not entirely for this purpose, because for Kitamura, chatting with Ganli itself makes him very happy. Therefore, whenever he was working on creation at his desk in the study, Ganli's words would always echo in Beicun's ears. After a few years of acquaintance with Amari, that is, in June six years ago, the communication between Kitamura and Amari was suddenly interrupted.This is because Ganli was killed when he ran into a taxi robber on his way out of the car.The taxi carrying his body was abandoned on the road in Shibuya District. Passers-by felt suspicious when they passed by. When they looked into the car, they found that Ganli had died in the car. After investigation by the police, it was confirmed that Ganli was beaten to death with a blunt object on the head, and all the business funds with him were looted by the gangsters.Based on this, the police deduced that this was a typical taxi robbery case, and set up a special search headquarters for investigation and evidence collection.However, the result turned out to be at a loss, the case was in a dilemma, and there was no progress. In this way, a close friend who met in the vast crowd of the city left Beicun forever. Amari has previously said that in the thirty years he has been in the taxi industry, he has not come into contact with passengers who have carried him before.However, as one of the passengers carried by Ganli, Beicun became friends with Ganli after taking a taxi. The never-returning river gurgles forward, but the same water seems to be stuck in the flat boat of Ganli Taxi forever.In the vast crowd, it is indeed rare to see such acquaintances as Beicun and Ganli. Besides, if Ganli hadn't returned the manuscript back then, Beicun would not have been able to achieve the results he has achieved today.It can be said that it was Ganli that gave Kitamura the opportunity to succeed.From this perspective, Ganli is definitely a character that cannot be ignored, and Kitamura always keeps this in mind. For this reason, Beicun especially hated the murderer who committed the crime.He even thought this way: if possible, he would really like to catch the murderer with his own hands. Generally speaking, as far as ordinary homicide cases are concerned, there is often a certain relationship between the murderer and the victim.However, this case is different. The murderer had an evil intention to commit a robbery while taking a taxi by accident.When a "hungry wolf" fainted from hunger, Ganli's taxi just happened to approach like a sheep. This kind of bad luck just happened to Ganli. That being said, why choose a good person like Ganli?An honest and dutiful person, he has been diligent and conscientious in his 30-year life journey, playing the role of boatman.Who would have thought that in the end it would be such an ending? Ganli married relatively late, so the two children were relatively young at that time. One girl was in the third grade of junior high school, and the other son was only in the fifth grade of elementary school.Just to rob such a pitiful business fund, the vicious murderer went so far as to kill people with a knife, tearing apart a warm and happy family of four alive. Losing such a good friend, Kitamura feels helplessly that he has nothing to do in addition to his infinite grief.